Nicki Jae's Blog, page 2

I Thought I Could Help You, You Helped Me.

I was in the middle of watching a sermon on Youtube this morning when I kept getting this nagging thought about my calling. It's not an unfamiliar thought, just one that was so persistent I couldn't even finish the sermon. I have therefore spent the past 2 hours now trying to find scripture and stories in the Bible that align with what is perplexing me at the moment. The subject of the morning is purpose. 
One of the most exciting moments in my life was last year when I got the call for a job I'd...

Mental Health Pandemic

This is more or less an impulsive post. After many years, for the first time, I decided to watch Good Will Hunting. Of course, I'd seen it referenced in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, but I'd never once actually seen the movie. I was quite shocked to see that Robin Williams was in this movie. Although the movie was an award-winning drama and was meant to play at your emotions, the entire time I couldn't help but feel saddened by the absence of Robin Williams in real life. 
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Who I Am

I was born and raised in Youngstown, Ohio. I was and have always been different, I never really fit in anywhere until my circle of friends in high school. I didn’t cuss until I was in the 6th grade in an attempt to fit in and I wish I’d never started. Even after I started cussing according to those around me I still “Sounded white”. I thought 6th grade was difficult because I really didn’t fit in but 7th and 8th grade would turn out to be pure hell. I was constantly bullied and suffering from...

Grieving The Wrong Way

July 6th, 2017 I got a screenshot that sunk my entire ship so to speak. It was supposed to be a good day. I was talking to a friend and having a good time. It was my sister's birthday, it wasn't supposed to have gone the way it went. I remember I was devastated. I'd essentially lost the love of my life with whom I wasn't even with at the time. Sure I was at that time in a relationship but it didn't hurt any less nor did it change how I felt about him. I grieved for months...

Failing, to Succeed

It's 5:30am and I am currently completing school work. For those of you who don't know, I am currently seeking my degree in Psychology with a concentration in mental health. For the past two terms, I have been fairing well in my studies and was and am very proud of myself, but I've run into some issues along the way. 
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OCD So Intrusive

When someone says that they have OCD it is often associated with repetition, the need to have things a certain way, or excessive cleaning. Well, I have OCD. I was quite shocked when I got the diagnosis because I didn't exhibit any of those thraits listed. In fact, it was quite the opposite. The ironic thing about those symptoms is that it can actually be an outward manifestation of anxiety, but that is something completely different from this entry. This entry is focusing on my OCD the type o...

God, Why This Assignment?

The very first Christian author I can remember reading is Kimberla Lawson Roby. Even moreso amazing than finding her books is that I can remember exactly what happened. The book was called "Be Careful What You Pray For". I picked it up read the synopsis and decided to buy it. I knew I was starting late in the series but it was still an easy to follow read. Ever since that moment she has been who I looked up to for urban Christian fiction. I am too far behind her releases to catch up at this t...

My Cup Runneth Over?

Have you ever felt hunger in the pit of your stomach? You haven't eaten all day and you find yourself ravished? I had that feeling a few days ago and even now as I write this. I couldn't figure it out because I ate that day (a couple of times yay me!) but the hunger was still there. Today however I am choosing not to eat by choice. That's a completely different topic for another day. 
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Dear Cousin

I started off having a really great morning. I was laughing, singing, making jokes, and having a good time at work; but all that changed with one message; Hi. It seems like a harmless word and under normal circumstances it is. However, the person who sent this one seemingly harmless word is someone I have been avoiding for quite some time. Recently they tried to add me back on facebook and I haven't accepted them. The problem is this person triggers my PTSD. All the things of the past com...

Lord Why?

Image credit: https://theconversation.com/us/topics/dsm-5-2189Again, Lord why? Why am I a walking talking DSM-5? For those of you who don't know what the DSM-5 is according to Psychiatry.org, it is The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the handbook used by health care professionals in the United States and much of the world as the authoritative guide to the diagnosis of mental disorders. DSM contains descriptions, symptoms, and other criteria for diagnosing me...