H.M. Holten's Blog, page 25

Shire

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Acrylic on Canvas

 

© HMH, 2001

Procrastination

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A Writer’s Worst Enemy

It’s late. After a long day of washing, I’d like to rest, but it won’t do. I’ve got to write, even if there isn’t much to say about laundry. There isn’t much to say about television in Germany either, so what do I do now?

I must think of something, anything to fill my pages. Isn’t writing always about filling pages? Not really. On a good day, with plenty of time to concentrate on the essentials, there’s no need to think about filling pages. That’s when writing is a self-runner. There’s nothing like free-wheeling down a page: it beats any roller-coaster. I suppose that is why writers write.

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When I think about what it was like when I first started writing, I’m astounded how easy it can be. I was in such awe of everything concerning writing. Always an avid reader, for me, it was like trying to eat cherries with the greats. I was afraid of getting the stones hailing down on my forlorn head. I read and read, but the wish to write grew proportionately to my writing. Then I started asking myself what I’d write if I dared. That was the worst threshold to cross. In desperation, I started writing about hedonism, and God, and food, and philosophy. It was a mess, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. To do something, I quoted all my most beloved authors, until I realized that I wrote more quotes than anything of my own. That was embarrassing. I scrapped it all. But I kept the papers and notebooks as a memento and a warning. If you want to write, you must write. You must dare to reveal your soul and your ideas. That was a hard realisation. From then on, I prevaricated. It went on for years, but slowly it dawned on me what I had to write about.

Armed with my idea, I started writing. It was still difficult, and I still spent more time staring ahead trying to find out how to write the narrative I wanted to write. I read and read, but it was difficult to take that final plunge and simply ― write. In my fear of not being able to write, not being able to produce a full-scale novel, I fell into another trap: I forced myself to invent the most complicated way to say the simplest things. In other words, I made all the mistakes I could possibly make. But I did one thing right: I persevered. I finished my first draft.

Then I made the next big mistake: I thought my first draft was the finished product and started writing to agencies. Naturally, I got nothing but rejections. Then I heard about a friend who’d written a book too, and who’d sent it to a literary consultant. Ah, I thought, such a one could be my saviour. Well, I realized that saviours come at a price. I received good advice and some encouragement. That was a real lifeline, but I didn’t understand that at first. It took a long time before I dared attempt another revision, but I still hadn’t learned to be severe.

I felt insecure, but it didn’t matter. I had to write.

So, I persevered. Thankfully, I became fed up with praise. I wanted real feedback, but I couldn’t afford to pay for it. That’s when I made my big discovery: online author groups. It was difficult to choose, but I did go for one, connected to a large publishing house. It was a revelation. It was inspiring and maddening: I thrived. I wrote and received critiques. It was a learning experience that brought me far ahead. I realized that there’s a difference between reading and reading with intent. Exactly as there are differences in approaching writing. I made friends ― and surely ―  a few enemies. The group closed, and for a short while I was devastated, but then something happened. I started my umpteenth revision, and this time I was brutal. I rewrote and cut and mutilated my ‘baby’. It became an obsession, but it was worth it. I also decided that traditional publishing wasn’t for me. I’d never thought I’d go down that path, but it suddenly seemed right. It was my choice: my way. I haven’t regretted that decision. Now, I’m revising my second novel. I surprised myself: I finished the first draft a few months after publishing my first. Prevarication and doubt is a thing of the past. May it stay that way.

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© HMH, 2018

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Blarney

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Did you kiss the Blarney?

Stone of eloquence?

Hanging upside down

Like Odin on Yggdrasil:

Tree of the world

Giver of runes,

Before Ask and Embla

Set the world right

Or put it out of its misery.

 

Ragnarok and minor upheavals

Never stopped someone with

Something to say for himself

From chattering on while

Kingdoms faltered, or victories slipped away.

 

Beware of silver tongues

Whether the gift was bestowed or

Won through feats of athletics

 

From Ireland

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© HMH, 2013

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Earth Sea

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Acrylic on Canvas (section)

 

© HMH, 2000

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Blogs — Are They a Headache?

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Struggling to find a balance

I just had a pleasant encounter with somebody who writes speculative fiction, probably with a hint of fantasy. Nice guy too. It was fun — and nobody can convince me that conversations between writers aren’t productive, as well as educational. I believe that it is time to do some serious thinking about my next blog post. It would be great to develop some nifty idea tonight. I have some drafts to work on, but they may be too close to other writing themed blogs I’ve published recently.

What does weigh on my mind at present? Is there anything that makes me mad, or anything I have strong feelings about? Social injustice is always on my mind, but I don’t have any specific ideas. I can always look at my list: it is long, but I rarely consult it. Why is that? Could it be because I tend to rely on sudden inspiration, although I like the idea of planning ahead? Sometimes the themes I suggest pale the moment I’ve written down the idea. That is stupid. Can one blog about blogging? It seems to be a personal issue this moment.

I rarely write history blogs: the problem with those are that I’m a fiction writer. If I research and put together a blog post from my research, my writing tends to get so dry that dust clouds arise when I read it. And I don’t want to inflict sneezing on my unsuspecting readers. So, how could I improve my history blogs and make them interesting to anybody, myself included? Aye, there’s the rub. I love reading historical fiction, if its well-researched. On the other hand, if the book is laden with footnotes that tend to show off the author’s impeccable research, I get impatient.

In other words, the secret to a good educational blog is to integrate the information in the text. It must be done subtly though, and that isn’t easy. I suppose it is a bit like long passages of backstory in a novel. Boredom lurks, unless the author is magnificent. If that isn’t the case, any reader ends up wondering why the past is included in the book.

Basically, readers want to hear what the author has to tell. If it is vital to the plot, backstory must be sidled in sideways: it shouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Writing about historical events naturally involves past times, but it is up to the author to make them palatable. What strikes me, now that I think about it, is that undiluted facts are as hard to digest as a diet stones. They lie heavily in the stomach, according to a reliable source. You surely heard about that victimized wolf? Poor thing, wanting tender flesh and sweet bones of a certain red-bonneted girl, he must’ve been disappointed. I digress.

Back to history. How to write well on history. How to bring facts to life and avoid being hampered by too much knowledge. Or worse, hampering the reader with too much information. Mind you, it won’t do to dismiss facts altogether. Why is it that everything always comes down to balance? There is no avoiding it. You have to eat a balanced diet. It is vital to drink enough water and — not too much wine. If you sing, you must find the perfect balance between breathing, muscular activity, text and sound. And I’ve not even mentioned rhythm and melody. It takes years to learn to bring all the elements together. Also, a perfect technique doesn’t touch anybody, if it isn’t enhanced through the singer’s personality. Ballet dancers, especially when using point shoes — it goes without saying. Get the balance wrong: you’ll find yourself on the floor. Come to think of it, there’s nothing more hilarious than a bird losing its balance. Think albatross and try to take off or land.

All of this doesn’t really encircle my initial problem, but maybe there are a few pointers. It is up to the individual artist to make it work. Make what work? In this case, this blog. For others (singers, dancers, actors, musicians, designers, scientists, and perhaps even presidents): the possibilities are endless. My word: it is never simple.

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© HMH, 2018

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Stratford Hero

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Will, willing to play with words

Reclaiming language

Innovating ancient staves

Making new wind: demanding the sun and the moon.

Wooing and wedding cottage love and industry

Longing for ladies and dark youthful boys.

Trespassing in the garden of love:

Jealousy burning the innocent victim

Star-crossed intimacy fated to fail

Hapless heroines fighting for joy.

Crowning his glory through kings and opponents

Warning the hero who trembles at dawn:

Avenge crime unpunished

Accept loss of sanity;

Forswear youthful love but tremble

Confronted with grave monuments.

Follow the point of a dagger but

Perish through the wit of bearded women.

See, the world is a stage

Actors at the last juncture

Irreversibly grow to be

Fortune’s fools

 

From Persona Grata e non-Grata

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© HMH, 2012

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Three Hills

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Dreaming Hill

 

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Contemplating Hill

 

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Benevolent Hill

 

Aquarelles on Paper

 

© HMH, 2007

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KINDLE COUNTDOWN DEAL

From the 24th until the 30th of April

Starting at £ 0.99, Snares and Delusions will be available at a discount on Amazon.co.uk

Character Development

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I find creating a protagonist one of the greatest challenges a writer must face.

How to do it? There are many conflicting ideas about this, spanning from advocating descriptions to the absolute ban on the same. How best reveal character traits? A character sketch seems one way to avoid misunderstandings. It is neat, and easily done: It shall be inventoried, and every particle and utensil labelled to my will: as, item, two lips indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with lids to them; item, one neck, one chin, and so forth. Quote, unquote. Admittedly, there are dangers in this procedure. Boring the reader is a risk, we may not be prepared to take. It seems people don’t take easily to descriptive writing these days. In my opinion, it depends. There are authors, who write so enthralling that it doesn’t matter whether they present long descriptions or if the focus is on moving the plot forward.

I believe that it is necessary to find a way to creep under the (virtual) skin of a character. That is a bold statement, but how is it accomplished? When we meet new people, we don’t know their personality and we tend to look at the outer frame. Sometimes a tick or the way they smile gives away something about the person, but it can be deceptive. All the same, we may get a ‘feeling’ about the person. It can take the form of sensing warmth pouring out from the new acquaintance, or it can be the opposite: that already gives us an inkling of what’s to come. Smell and vision are important when meeting people in the real world, but we can’t use that on paper. A queer smile, noticing a pulse, visibly beating, can chill us to the core. A honeyed voice can scare us stiff.

All these characteristics fall into the descriptive area and may not serve the purpose of bringing a character to life on paper. It is possible to drop a few hints through a grimace or a warm smile, but I believe that action speaks a clearer language in this connection. If a character talks too fast or stutters, we become alert. Letting a person tap out rhythms could indicate nervousness or irritation. It’s the little things that reveal the part of a human that he or she most want to disguise. We’re complex beings, and we rarely reveal ourselves directly.

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A sweet personality can get sticky, and over time become annoying. But if we add a temperament to the sweetness, the readers may tolerate the sweetness a bit longer. These are serious considerations, but often they turn out to be unnecessary. If a character comes to life in our heads or subconscious, our part as writers becomes easier. This process may resemble an actor’s craft: gathering together little details, which could be anything from a cough to a speech impediment, helps to bring the role to life. Also, an actor or actress would spend time thinking out possible subtexts for every line their character speaks. That is another important way of connecting with the subject, not necessarily through words. We aren’t always aware of our thoughts when we speak to somebody. We are mostly aware of our feelings, ranging from disgust to anger to amusement to trust or indeed to love or lust. And we can feel comfortable with those feelings or the absolute opposite. Once we master such techniques, it may get easier to find ways to communicate character traits, without resorting to long explanations. We use our subconscious knowledge to show what’s going on. And I haven’t even touched on the way a character expresses his or her thoughts. How do they speak? Do they have favourite words or idioms that they use? Again, it can become too much. But if so, it’s always possible to let another character make a remark about it. There is freedom to find in letting characters reveal themselves through speech. Of course, that is also a workable device for relating necessary back-story.

All in all, building a fictional character is hard work. It takes time and deliberation, but most of all it takes flashes of insights, sudden ideas, and a good connection to our subconscious.

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© HMH, 2018

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Acolyte

Lonely in the vast hall the statue shivers

Mountains glitter around the lofty pinnacle

Rarely visited by human steps.

 

A solitary worshipper guards the shrine

His predatory eyes search the distance

As he invokes the goddess, silently gesturing.

Wait!

Looking deep into his soul he breathes in and out

Singing love poems and following the high priestess

With bruised hungry gaze until hell freezes over.

Demons come to devour perilous thoughts

But leave the devout to his painful devices.

 

The miracle of adoration expressed in his pure clear voice

Reverberates off glazed walls and long tunnels

Preserving the delicate balance of a frail world:

Such the servant remains expanded in air

Dead to the world in an eternity that

Mirrors the statue in his brown eyes

 

From Persona Grata e non Grata

 

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© HMH, 2012

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