Emily M. DeArdo's Blog, page 52

Sound and Silence Part II: The Cochlear Implant

Last Saturday was World Hearing Day, so I showed a few shots of my Bionic Ear on instagram. Some people were shocked to see I had one! So I decided it was time to do a little updated series here about why I have one, how I got it, how I like it, and what life is like with one. Here's part one. 

So, what the heck is a CI, and how does it work?

I'm going to keep this really basic. I'm not an audiologist and I don't play one on TV.  But this handy chart should help. You see the external bit, but yes, there are things in my head other than my brain. There's the magnet, to hold the processor on, and there's the wire that goes into the cochlea. Remember that the reason my hearing sucks is because my hair cells are dead. The hair cells live in the cochlea. So the wire replaces them, in a sense. The wire has an "array"--I think mine has 24--of sound things. I know that's super technical. I forget the real name. But there are24 different entries on that wire that can be individually fine-tuned. (More about that later) So instead of hundreds of hair cells...I have 24 electrode arrays. Now, it's better than nothing! But I note this to illustrate that CIs are not perfect replacements for real hearing. 

I had my surgery in May of 2008. Post transplant I had a lot to deal with--I had a skin graft surgery that November, and then we had to try hearing aids first, and then I had to get myself to agree to having a CI, and so with all that, it was a long-ish process to actually getting one. 

The one great thing is that I was "post-lingual"--meaning, I knew how to talk. (Boy howdy, can I talk.) If you have had severe hearing loss for a long time, or if you're a baby getting one, then there's hearing therapy involved. Even now, there are sounds I hear and it takes  me a minute to figure out what it is. (While writing this, with my CI on, I heard a crazy loud, scary noise. What is that?! It took me a few seconds, but I figured it out--crows.) Everyone knows the person who is hard of hearing who speaks loudly because she can't hear herself. I can hear myself. I'm just loud. (There are times when I can't hear myself as well--when I have the telecoil on, for example, so in church.) 

My ENT is fabulous. I've had him for years--he works a lot with CF folk, and more and more CF folk are having CIs put in. (ENTs also do all our sinus work. We have a lot of sinus work...I am lucky in that area. My sinuses tend to behave.) If you're in the central Ohio area, Dr. Willett, Ohio ENT is my guy and I adore him.  

So the day of surgery was just like any other surgery. Port accessed. Ready to rock and roll. You stay over night, of course, because people are putting things in your head! My audiologist, who is also at Ohio ENT, actually stimulated the CI during surgery to make sure it "worked" and that it had been put in correctly. That's a key part of the process, because I didn't get to attach the processor for a month, due to healing. You don't want to attach the processor and have it not work! 

For 21-30 days, your head heals. I wore my hearing aids, and waited for activation day. This is the day you see when those videos are posted to Facebook or YouTube where a kid or someone hears for the first time. Mine was not that dramatic. But instantly, small sounds came back--the sound of the turn signal, typing, things like that. 

(When your hearing goes, it's usually the upper registers that go first--high notes, high voices, likes kids and women. And fainter sounds, like turn signals, things beeping, etc.) 

My audiologist then programmed the CI. You can have up to four programs. Again, I don't want to get super technical, but I have all four slots on my CI filled with programs. There's a tiny button on the processor that I hit to cycle through them. The first is my "normal" program. That allows sound in from all sides, and is good all-purpose. The second is focused on who is directly in front of me, and cuts out side noise and background noise to an extent. This is good for  noisy places and restaurants. I have another program that focuses this even more. The fourth program is a richer program that's generally for music, but I can use it as an everyday program, too--you get a wider range of sounds and frequencies. 

There is also the telecoil. This cuts out all sound except what you hear through the telecoil system, which lets in whatever's coming in through a microphone.* This is what I use in church, and it's amazing. It's like someone is speaking distinctly and clearly into my ear. You are also, supposedly, able to use this for the phone. That is not my experience. (More on that later.) Of course the issue with the telecoil is that the other person has to have the microphone on, or the system is useless. (It does work for lecterns, too, or stand microphones.) 

Now, I have one implant. I don't have one in my right ear, because I want that 20% of real hearing that I have. When a CI is implanted, it removes any residual hearing you have left. I am truly deaf in my left ear without it. But I don't wear my CI all the time, so I need some residual hearing. This allows me to hear my alarm clock and other loud noises. There are also times when the batteries will inexplicably die. (This happened a lot with my first processor, not so much with my current one.) The 20% also helps out my CI, in a sense. It gives me some sense of directionality--where a sound is coming from, although not a lot. When I'm swimming, I can hear loud things. If I know your voice REALLY well--meaning, you're my parent or my best friend or my sibling--then I can decipher what you're saying, sometimes, with just my right ear. 

I use rechargeable batteries in my CI. I have three of them, and I rotate them. They get put in and can last about 15-24 hours on a full charge. I tend to not put my implant in early in the morning, because I sort of like the silence. But that's changing as I switch my workout routine to being in the morning. I need to hear the video. 

I'm using "hear" here, but what I really mean is "understand". I can hear lots of things. That doesn't mean I understand them, or process them. For example, I heard the crazy bird sounds this morning, but I had no idea what it was. 

Also--and I'll talk about this more in the next piece--but everyone's CI experience is very different. Rush Limbaugh has a CI, and he said he can't learn new music. I can, because, as we saw, I was very musically inclined and my ears had been trained that way. My brain still knows that language, in a sense. I work hard to learn new music. Instrumental music is difficult because it all sounds like noise, at first. But I can learn new songs and new vocal pieces with the CI--I just have to approach it differently. Some people with a CI can use phone adaptation stuff. I can't. I don't know why. But more on that next. 

*The telecoil can be "mixed"--basically, you can determine how much sound you want to get through the telecoil. Mine is 100%, when it's turned on. But you can do 50/50, 75/25, 90/10....whatever. 

Sound and Silence Part I: How I Lost My Hearing

Saturday was World Hearing Day, so I showed a few shots of my Bionic Ear on instagram. Some people were shocked to see I had one! So I decided it was time to do a little updated series here about why I have one, how I got it, how I like it, and what life is like with one. 

I was born with normal hearing. 

Actually, I was born with really great hearing. My mom used to get irritated because I'd hear her whispering things to dad in the next room and yell, hey, I want to hear about that! 

As a singer, and a musician, your hearing is important. Obviously. A lot of my voice lessons involved listening. Intervals, pitch-matching, etc; all of that is a huge part of the musical art. 

In college, people started to notice that I wasn't hearing them when they were talking to me. Now, some of that was just that I tend to get really absorbed in things--a book, something I'm writing. But people would call my name, and I wouldn't answer. 

I went to the audiologist at Nationwide Children's, and I did have some hearing loss. Not a lot, and probably not enough for hearing aids to help. But it was showing up on the hearing tests. OK. I just shrugged and went on with my life. 

In between 2003-2005 (pre-transplant), I was on a lot of drugs. Hard core, IV meds, in order to keep me alive and breathing. Some of these were ototoxic--meaning they killed the hair cells in my ears, the hairs that conduct sound to the cochlea. Without these hair cells, you don't hear. 

(Here's a brief explanation: 

When you are exposed to loud music or noise, it is your hair cells which are damaged. Hearing loss occurs because loud sounds are really just large pressure waves (like when you stand next to a subwoofer and can "feel" the bass). These large pressure waves bend the stereocilia too far, sometimes to the point where they are damaged. This kills the hair cell. Since cochlear hair cells can not grow back, this manifests as a permanent hearing loss.) 

In my case, it wasn't loud noises. It was the medication. Once hair cells are gone, they do not grow back. They are gone forever. 

And the more I used these drugs, the more hair cells died, in both ears. 

By the time of my transplant, my hearing had gotten worse, and we were starting to think about hearing aids. I was fitted with my first pair soon after transplant. Hearing aids are not covered by insurance. I needed the most powerful kind, the behind-the-ear hearing aids, and they were fit to my ear shape. 

They were also a pain in the butt. 

Hearing aids just magnify sound. It's like turning up the volume on everything. But it's everything. It's not discriminate. Things like pages turning were incredibly loud. In a crowded room, I couldn't focus on one sound. Everything came in, all the time. 

The other problem is that hearing aids break. The outer ear part would separate from the part that went in my ear. I was constantly trying to put them back together with tape! 

In 2007-2008, I got sick again--and more ototoxic meds. Now the hearing aids weren't really helping at all. It was time to think about cochlear implants. 

I didn't like this idea. One, I didn't like the idea of a magnet in my head. I didn't like that it would take any residual hearing away from the ear that had the CI. I didn't like the idea of surgery and weirdness. 

But eventually it got to the point where it hurt to hear. The organ at church was painful. Listening to people was awful. I didn't like to go to crowded places. I couldn't go to the movies, and I love the movies. 

That's when we decided it was time for a CI. 

A cochlear implant is vastly different than a hearing aid. A hearing aid, as I said above, just amplifies sound. A CI helps my brain decipher and understand the sound. It directly stimulates the auditory nerve, so they bypass all my damaged equipment and go right to the source. 

I had to have some tests done: you can't have a CI unless you have a certain amount of hearing loss. You need to have moderate to profound loss to qualify for it. Insurance does pay for a CI and the surgery.* I had a CT scan and MRI** on my head, to make sure they could implant the magnet, as well as  more hearing tests, to determine the extent of my hearing loss, and also, which ear would receive the implant (I didn't get bilateral CIs. More on that next.). My right ear has slightly more hearing than the left, so the left ear was the "winner", and has the CI. 

Surgery was scheduled for May of 2008. 

In the next installment, I'll talk about surgery, recovery, and how the CI works. 

* More about insurance coverage in the upcoming installments. 

**Last MRI ever, because, with a magnet in my head, they're contraindicated from here on out. Yay! 

 

 

 

2018 Goals: February update

January seemed to go on forever, but February flew! Wow! I can't believe it's March. So here's how my goals went last month, and what's on tap for March!

 

Goal Number 1: Work through Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps for Financial Peace to cultivate good stewardship, gratitude, and contentment

My goal was to finish the emergency fund this month. That didn't happen, because I had to make a withdrawal from my emergency fund--my printer died. :( So while I was unhappy about having to use the emergency fund, I was glad it was there! I've continued to use the every dollar app to keep track of my budget, and reconciled my checkbook daily with my online bank account. 

March goal: Finish baby step one!! 

 

Goal Number 2: Find an agent for my manuscript

Goal for the month: To write a new proposal. 

Progress: Well.....this didn't happen. Sigh. The month sort of got away from me in this regard. I know I have to make progress here. I'm tentatively moving this to March, and am going to schedule a writing session out of the house (meaning, at a Starbucks or somewhere laptop friendly) where I can get this done. Writing was done in February--just not this particular writing. 

March goal: At least one two-hour block of time outside the house working on my proposal. It doesn't have to be finished. But I have to dedicate at least two hours to drafting one. 

Goal Number 3:To deepen and strengthen my relationship with God, because He is the center and the well-spring.

February goals:  Attend the Columbus Catholic Women's Conference; Mass weekly; confession on First Friday; holy hour; continue daily lectio!

Progress: I made some decent progress here. I attended the conference and had a great time. I'll have to write about it soon. (Note to self). I did make it to Mass last week! Yay! I went to confession! Yay! I had a holy hour! And I've been doing daily lectio! So some great progress here. 

March goals: Weekday Mass once a week, confession once a month, holy hour, daily vespers (evening prayer). 

Goal Number 4: Continue to lose weight and treat my body well so I can do everything else I want to do, and honor my body which God made. 

February goal: Be better about exercising. Something EVERY DAY, even if it's only for five minutes. 

Progress: I did pretty well here! I'm looking at my PowerSheets and more often than not, the box for daily exercise is checked. One of my big things is trying to always meet my daily move goal on my Apple Watch. Even if I don't exercise, I want to hit that move goal! I've been doing that, and the goal is steadily increasing, so that makes me feel good. 

Last week, I also re-upped for yoga glo. I'd done this years ago, but now I really think I need that daily outlet for practice. I've been doing the classes, and I find it's a great way to start or end my day. Even if the practice is hard (like this morning's was!), it's still learning, it's still growth, it's still movement. And I feel better when I've done it. I've also been making a conscious effort to get enough sleep. I need at least nine hours. I feel better when I get it. I function much better. So, that's an important part of this, too. 

March goals: Daily yoga glo classes, weekly meal planning, go to bed by 10:00 (be IN bed, not necessarily asleep). 

 

Goal Number 5: Grow Barton Cottage Crafts, to help with baby steps (goal 1), but also to have a creative outlet and for enjoyment. 

February goals: Keep working on commissions!

Progress: Definitely good progress here. Finished one, am about to finish another, and then I have two more after that! Whew! 

March goals: Keep trucking. :) 

Goal Number 6: Have a beautiful, peaceful, welcoming home so I can appreciate what I have, encourage hospitalist, and cultivate peace. 

February goals: Doing Nancy's Contentment Challenge again, February through April! I've made progress here, but I want to make more. It takes a long time to stop comparison and perfection from taking up brain space. Also, be consistent in zeroing out every night!

Progress: Started the Contentment Challenge on Ash Wednesday. It's quite Lenten. :) I might have to add some weeks to it because my birthday is during the challenge! We'll see. Every Thursday I read the next week's devotional in Nancy's ebook. 

Zeroing out was...iffy. I HAVE to get better at this. I'm thinking I'll set an alarm at 9:00 on my phone, to get up and do it. I do like the house better in the morning when I do this!

March goals: ZERO OUT (with alarm at 9 pm); zone clean weekly; weekly surface clean; contentment challenge; finish Emily Ley's simplify challenge! 

 

Goal Number 7: To nurture my creativity so I can learn new things, inspire myself, stretch my mind, and feed my soul. 

February Goals: Continue watercolor class; continue Artist's Rule; work on shawl. 

Progress: Wow! I finished my watercolor class, but I might have to go back and do all the lessons again. There was just so much great content it's going to take awhile to soak in! I'm still reading Artist's Rule. And the shawl....

It GROWS! I did a ton of work on it yesterday. I'm in to the last two sections! 

March goals: Shawl--finish? Maybe? Continue Artist's Rule. 

 

As a final reflection, this is something I wrote when I was doing my March powersheets: 

There were times in February when it seemed hard to keep trucking on my goals. It's so much easier just to stay in the same pattern and not push myself to grow. But that's not what I'm here for. I am here to grow! So this is my reminder to myself. 

 Housekeeping note: My ebook, Catholic 101, is STILL available! It's always available! Go buy it! 

 

Yarn Along No. 72 and My Lenten Plan

So, um, Happy Ash Wednesday? :-D

I do like Lent. We'll talk about that more in a second. First: Yarn!

This is a completed Barton Cottage Crafts commission--it's my signature basketweave scarf in the weathervane colorway. The colors are much richer in person. In the line this is my "Jane Bennet" color--I think it suits Jane quite well. :) 

I'm currently working on a shawl for another customer, in a deep yellow color. When I have more of it to show, I'll post a picture. At the moment, it's a very small triangle!

My shawl is coming along gorgeously! I'm finally into the blue stripes! 

 

 

What are you reading right now? My Lenten Rule

AKA, what I'm doing for Lent. 

1) Giving up book buying (except at the Catholic Women's Conference this weekend--and actually, my book buying has dropped off a lot this year since I'm focusing on my financial goals. So go me!)

2) Attending weekday Mass at least once a week

3) Confession every other week

4) Doing Nancy Ray's Contentment Challenge again. You can read ore about it on Nancy's blog here and here . Here are the first month guidelines!  I think Lent is a perfect time to kick this off. 

And of course, Above All. You can still join us! Order the book, pop into the blog, or join us on facebook, twitter, and instagram. 

 

How about you? How do you "do" Lent? 

Stitch Fix Box No. 4

It's Stitch Fix Time!!!!!!

I've switched to an every other month Fix schedule, so that's why it's been awhile since we've had one (December, in fact!). But I am always excited to share my latest box with you guys!

If you're new to my Fix posts, here are the previous ones, and here's how it works : 

Stitch Fix is an online styling service that delivers a truly personalized shopping experience, just for you. Fill out your Style Profile and a personal stylist will hand pick pieces to fit your tastes, needs and budget—and mail them directly to your door. Each box contains five items of clothing, shoes and accessories for you to try on at home. Keep what you love, send the rest back in a prepaid USPS envelope. Shipping and returns are free—even for exchanges!

The Style Profile is really detailed--it's just not stuff like your weight and height. They want to know as much about you and your style as possible, from how much skin you like to show, to your proportions, and what kind of trends and styles you'd like to try. You can even set a price range for individual categories and ask them not to send certain things. For example, in my Style Profile, I ask for no bracelets, rings, or just about any type of shoe other than a flat or lowish heel.  (Stilettos are NOT my friend.) 

There's also a place to add a link to your Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest Style Board, so your stylist can get a feel for what you like. Finally, there's the style note, where you can ask for specific items, talk about events that are coming up (I mentioned my brother's wedding in the spring), or generally discuss your style or anything you'd like to see in the box. 

So, after you fill out the Style Profile, you will pay $20 as a styling fee. This is taken off any items you decide to keep in your Fix, so I look at it as a down payment on whatever's in the box. Keep in mind that a real person will personally select all five items that come in your box for you, based on what you've told him/ her. 

When the box arrives, it's time for the fun--trying on pieces. This is where I think Stitch Fix has a leg up over normal shopping. Since the box is shipped to you, you have your entire wardrobe at your disposal when you get these pieces. You can see right away if the things that were sent work with items you already have! You don't have to stand in the dressing room and think, "Do I have anything that will go with this? How will this look with my favorite heels? Do I already have things in this color?" 

 

So, with all that out of the way, here's what I got in my box this time!

Number 1: Hawthorne 41 Poppi Textured Pullover sweater, $68

 

Styled with White House Black Market jeans (check out the length! They fit! :-P), and Clarks flats

This isn't a bad sweater. Generally I really like the Hawthorn 41 line (it's one of Stitch Fix's exclusive brands). However, I didn't feel this color did anything for me, and it was sort of meh on. 

(You will see this again with another item, per the stylist's suggestion.) 

Verdict: Returned

Items Numbers 2 & 3: Mauvette Middleton Ponte Dress, $58, and Mia Pecora D'orsay Flats, $48

Here's what you need to know about my feet: I have terrible ones. I have pretty high arches, plus BIG bunions. Not little bunions. Big ones. Huge. Not bad enough to require surgery, but not far off, either. So pointy toed shoes with no support are not shoes I can wear, no matter how cute they are. And these shoes were cute. But I can never wear them. I will say I did like the style of shoe, with the strap around the ankle, which I didn't think I would like. 

This dress was very nice. It was well-constructed, and I liked the scallop detailing and the color. But I was looking for dresses for my brother's wedding, and this dress is one I would've worn if I still worked in the Senate and the General Assembly was in session--this is a "session dress". Conservative and lady-like. Which is fine, it's just not what I need most of the time anymore. And when I do, I have dresses like this. 

Verdict on both: Returned

Item Number 4: Wisp Cleo Textured Knit Dress, $88

Now, this was a fun dress. Still had the scallop detail at the neck, has a twirly skirt, and is speckled with flecks of ocean blue, coral, and white, which make it an acceptable dress to wear to a wedding (Normally I NEVER wear black to a wedding. But this had enough color.). It's very comfortable and flattering. But is it fancy enough for my brother's wedding? I don't know. It is a lot of fun, though. I would wear it as a guest at a wedding, for sure. But....I think accessories will amp it up. The right jewelry, a bright colored cardigan for the ceremony (the bolero jacket type), shoes.....

In any case, this dress will be great for going out. I could even wear it for Easter or something. It's really fun and very much my style. 

Verdict: KEPT

Item Number 5: Margaret M Deandra Skirt, $78

I have had TONS of luck with Margaret M. I had two other skirts from them (see my past fixes!), and I love them. They are all different, too. This one is more like starched cotton with some stretch, so it'll be great for spring and summer. And the colors are amazing. There's taupe gray, white, pale pink, navy blue, ocean blue, a deep turquoise, orange....it's just fabulous. 

Here it is with two different tops: 

J Crew top from my closet; Clarks flats

Verdict: KEPT

I had a $50 gift card from Christmas, so that went a long way in deciding what to keep. I was a little disappointed in this Fix, because I had wanted all dresses for my brother's wedding, and I told my stylist that. So this was a bit of a downer. I do like the clothes I got--it just wasn't what I was particularly in need of. 

My next Fix is schedule to come right before my birthday in April, so we'll see what goodies are there!

If you want to try Stitch Fix, I'd be greatly appreciative if you'd use my referral link. You get clothes, and I get $25 of credit to use for more clothes, which means more fashion shows! Here it is. 

And there is also Stitch Fix MEN! So if you have a guy in your life that needs style help, you can use my link for him, too!

Stitch Fix styles men and women, and also as pregnancy and plus sizes for the ladies! There is also Stitch Fix Luxe, which is brands like Kate Spade, if you're interested in that. 

Questions? Check out my first post, or drop them in the combox!  

Yarn Along No. 71

Big progress being made in my shawl (pattern: the drachenfels shawl)

I am finally done with the gray yarn! (In case you're just joining me here: I'm using Quince and Co. Chickadee yarn in Iceland (gray), bird's egg (light blue) and fjord (dark blue). 

The next section of the shawl alternates the two blues, and I'm excited about diving into that. I love the fjord color and I can't wait to get to use it! (Well, really use it. I used it for one stripe, which you can see above!) Maybe by the time we get to the March Yarn Along link up, I'll be done? Probably not. But you never know!

I'm reading two books on psychology, habits, all sorts of goodness. Really enjoying both of them. (It's actually my second time through the Peterson book. This time I'm taking notes. The way he talks about suffering makes me want to do a Baptist "Amen!". So accurate.) Since I'm back to living in Hoth, today is a good day for knitting and reading!

 

Lenten Suggestions

Can you believe Lent starts next week? On Valentine's Day, no less? "Yes, hon, we'll celebrate Valentine's Day! But, you know, with macaroni and cheese and...no chocolate." 

(I'm kidding. We can do it, guys! Just celebrate the day before and do Mardi Gras up big this year.) 

Per usual, I have a few suggestions for how to prepare for Lent this year! 

You can read previous posts I've written. And you can also read about it more extensively in my book, Catholic 101, where I talk a lot about Lent, as well as Holy Week! (Remember, if you're a blog subscriber, you have a code for 15% off! Lost the code? Email me and I'll shoot you a new one.) 

Another one of my favorite Lent books is A Time for Renewal: Daily Reflections on the Lenten Season, by Mother Mary Francis, P.C.C.  She's such an incredible speaker and writer, so able to cut right to the heart of the matter, that I highly recommend all her books. I pick this up every Lent. 

And finally, there is Above All! 

You all know how much I love this book. The price has been reduced on Amazon, so go get, if you haven't already! Profits are going to Adore Ministries in Houston to help with Hurricane Harvey relief. 

This book is gorgeous, guys. We put so much heart and soul and dedication into it. And if you're giving up Facebook for Lent, we have a gorgeous website that will have the daily readings and questions to ponder, so you can join our community there! 

Also, I'm going to have some Lenten recipes up on the blog to help with those meatless Fridays that are coming. Look for the first one this week!

What are your favorite Lenten resources? 

 

Things That are Saving My Life

Anne over at Modern Mrs. Darcy frequently posts about things that are "saving [her] life right now." They're not often big things, like medicine, but things that make life easier and more enjoyable. So I'm following her lead and joining her link up. 

1) Good shampoo and conditioner

I've never been a "hair girl". I'm a makeup girl, not a hair girl. I can't even curl my own hair--I'm that hair impaired. But recently, I've been having to up my hair product game substantially. 

After I had my skin cancers removed from my scalp last year, my hair and scalp needed a lot of love. So first I was using Living Proof products. And they were great, for awhile, but expensive, although they did keep my hair cleaner. A few months ago, I switched back to regular drugstore products. 

"Big mistake. Huge!" As they say in Pretty Woman. 

My hair is pretty fine to begin with, but when you're missing hair (as in, the hair is slowly growing back from here it was removed), you need to pamper what's still there. My hair was a MESS. Flat and gross and fly away. So I realized I'd have to go back to good products. 

So this is what I'm using: Living Proof Timeless Pre-Shampoo treatment  (to keep what I do have strong), Bumble and Bumble Thickening Shampoo and Conditioner, and their thickening spray (which I've always used). Are these pricey? Yes. Are they more than I'd like to spend on hair care? Yes. But I hate the way my hair looks and feels when I use cheaper products. BUT--they do tend to last a long time. You don't need to use much. I can get almost two years out of a bottle of the spray, for example. 

And so, right now, good hair products are making me much happier about the state of my scalp (and it's making my hair happier, too).  

2. Knitting

I love knitting. This project I'm working on, above, is a shawl for me, and it's all in garter stitch, which is supremely relaxing. I am changing colors, so that can be fiddly, but overall, this and Party of Five on Netflix are perfect for relaxing in the evening. 

3. Netflix

See Party of Five, above. And movies! 

4. Sleep

After some weird sleep patterns at the beginning of January, I've finally gotten into a good rhythm. I am in bed--not asleep, but in bed--at ten, and then I'm usually done reading by 11. So I'm getting good sleep which just makes me so much happier, right? 

5. Diet Coke

It is. It just so is. I love water, and I love tea, but Diet Coke is fueling a lot of my writing/productivity right now!

Speaking of productivity....

6. Pomodoros

THESE are huge. I love them. I read about them in this Ann Voskamp post, and I've applied them to my life since the beginning of this year. It's fabulous!  Basically, it works like this:  25 minutes of focused work--five minute break. Repeat this pattern four times, then take a long break of 25-30 minutes--then back to pomodoros. I can get writing, knitting, cleaning, and reading time in, without feeling like I'm slacking off somewhere or forgetting something. Truly awesome. 

 

 

2018 Goals: January update

So, January is (FINALLY!) over, which means it's time for the monthly goal setting report, as well as telling you my goals for February!

(You can find my goals for the year here, as well as the steps related to each one!) 

So, here are my goals, and the progress I made in January, as well as what I want to do for February!

Goal Number 1: Work through Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps for Financial Peace to cultivate good stewardship, gratitude, and contentment

If you're not familiar with Dave, there are seven baby steps, with the first three being really key. Those steps are: 

1) Save a $1K emergency fund

2) Pay off all debt (besides the mortgage--which I don't have)

3) Complete the emergency fund with 3-6 months' of living expenses 

I, obviously, started with number one--the $1K emergency fund. 

Progress: I KILLED this goal in January! I'm so happy about this! I have $800 in my emergency fund, which means I will finish it off in February! YAY!!!!!! And the sense of peace is amazing. If I get a flat tire, or my computer dies, or something else goes wrong....I have money to fix it. That's such a relief!

February Goal:  Finish Baby Step One! Continue to check in with my budget and reconcile checkbook daily. 

Goal Number 2: Find an agent for my manuscript

This is a big goal with lots of tiny steps and moving parts. One of them is working on my blog and making myself more visible on social media. So, in that realm, I completely re-wrote my about page (using Ashlyn Carter's Copyright for Creatives materials--the course was actually last fall, but I didn't have time to do it then. So I did it now!) 

February goal: To draft a new proposal. Yes. This is sort of scary! But I'm going to do it! 

Goal Number 3:To deepen and strengthen my relationship with God, because He is the center and the well-spring.

This goal also has some moving parts--things I want to incorporate, etc. I did make some progress here: I prayed with my Bible (lectio divina!) almost every day in January. That's huge for me. I was also really good about saying the Divine Mercy Chaplet. I didn't get to Mass during the week, so that's a fail. But I know I will this week--I'm getting back on the First Friday horse, and going to confession then, too. 

February Goals: Attend the Columbus Catholic Women's Conference; Mass weekly; confession on First Friday; holy hour; continue daily lectio! (Daily lectio will be easier because Above All starts on February 14!) 

Goal Number 4: Continue to lose weight and treat my body well so I can do everything else I want to do, and honor my body which God made. 

So, this was hard. This month was really cold, but then we would have warm spells. But my weight has been stable, which is good. I haven't lost, but I also haven't gained. AND tonight I fit into a smaller jeans size! So I'm making progress here, for sure. 

February: Be better about exercising. Something EVERY DAY, even if it's only for five minutes. 

Goal Number 5: Grow Barton Cottage Crafts, to help with baby steps (goal 1), but also to have a creative outlet and for enjoyment. 

Progress: I finished scarves and mailed them out last month; I'm currently working on a commission and have three more in the wings! So good progress here!

February goals: Keep working on my commissions!

Goal Number 6: Have a beautiful, peaceful, welcoming home so I can appreciate what I have, encourage hospitalist, and cultivate peace. 

Progress: I am just about done with Emily Ley's Simplifying Challenge--the only thing left are two kitchen cabinets! Yay! I need to be better about "zeroing out"--setting things up for the next morning (making coffee, clearing the table, etc.). I was inconsistent in this last month. I was good about the weekly chores, though. Star for me!

February Goals: Doing Nancy's Contentment Challenge again, February through April! I've made progress here, but I want to make more. It takes a long time to stop comparison and perfection from taking up brain space. Also, be consistent in zeroing out every night. 

Goal Number 7: To nurture my creativity so I can learn new things, inspire myself, stretch my mind, and feed my soul. 

Progress: I've started taking a watercolor class, and I LOVE it. It's hard, but it's good hard. I can already see improvement in my technique! I've also been re-reading The Artist's Rule, and it's a great inspiration for me to incorporate creativity into my daily life. Finally, I'm working on a new shawl, which you've seen in the yarn alongs: 

Part two! STRIPES! 

This is such a great project and thank you, Aunt Sue, for helping me with it at Christmas! :) This is a great way to stretch my knitting skills and create something pretty for myself. 

I've also joined a writers' group, and that's going to be really helpful, I think! 

February Goals: Continue watercolor class; continue Artist's Rule; work on shawl. 

 

So all in all, not a bad January! I'm pretty pleased. 

How about you? Did you make progress on goals/ resolutions in January? 

 

Lectio di-wha?

It's no secret that I love to read. I've loved it ever since my mom first read to me as a toddler; I was the kid who snuck books under her desk in school, and read while I should've been getting ready for Mass, or when I should've been sleeping. Books are life. 

So you'd think that the practice of lectio divina, "holy reading", would be the easiest type of prayer for me to practice. 

You'd be so, so wrong. 

I am terrible at lectio. 

Before I tell you why I'm terrible at it, I should probably explain what it is. As I noted, it means "holy reading." It's a way of praying using the Scriptures. Essentially, you read (lectio); you meditate on what you read (meditatio); you pray about what you read (oratio), and then you figure out how to put all that into action (actio). It doesn't sound hard, right? 

Except for me it is. 

First, there's the reading. What the heck am I supposed to read? The Mass readings? Go through the Bible chronologically, only to falter when I get to Leviticus and Numbers and lists of names and other rosters? Start with Matthew and work through the New Testament and then maybe try the old? 

And what if I read and nothing comes to me? I read, and read, and read....nope, God, sorry, nothing's hitting me. That's actually my biggest problem with lectio. I read. And I read. And nothing hits me. There's no inspiration. How am I supposed to pray with that? 

In Advent, I had a pretty big breakthrough. The Advent journal, Rooted in Hope, was a real, hard core introduction to lectio, and it helped me immensely.  

First--because there are readings given. There was a featured verse, and a few others. I didn't have to worry about what to read. 

Second--the steps were all broken down, and easy for me to see, to ponder, to do. 

At first, I had to re-read the passages a few times. I picked a word, an idea, that spoke to me. But some days it was harder than others. That's OK. I just kept doing it. 

Lectio also requires a bit of background--and this is hard, too. In the first step, you're supposed to do some analysis: what is actually happening in the passage? Is Jesus talking to somebody? Who is Paul writing to, and why? Who is speaking in this excerpt from 1 Kings? That's where a good Bible dictionary, or study bible, is so important (resources at the end of this post). Because this is a big key--knowing what's happening in what you're reading. 

Here's an example: The familiar reading from weddings, 1 Corinthians 13. Love is patient. Love is kind. Yada yada. We've all heard that a million times. But if you know that Paul wrote that to the Corinthians because they were fighting among each other, because there was disunity, and arguing, and strife, and confusion--doesn't it take on a whole different tone? I know it did to me. All of a sudden, Paul's letter is real. It speaks to me in the twenty-first century. Aren't we all in strife, all the time? Aren't we fighting amongst each other? Paul wasn't just writing some nice platitudes. He was giving solid advice to people in the midst of bickering and in-fighting. 

So, keeping with this example: You would read 1 Corinthians 13. You'd do the lectio on it--you'd say, oh, OK, Paul is writing to these people, who are fighting amongst themselves. Then, the meditation. How does this apply to me? Who am I fighting with? Can I apply these concepts there? Who needs more love from me? Where am I not being loving? 

Then, oratio, prayer. Talk to God about what you're thinking. Ask Him to help you apply this to your daily life (actio, the application, the action). "God, I know I need to be more patient with XYZ. It's hard for me. But I know that's what you want. I know that living that way will be a true expression of the Christian life I'm trying to lead. So when I want to swear or yell at this person, help me to be kind. Help me to be patient. I won't be perfect--but with Your help, I will try. I will make progress." 

The actio is in the prayer, right there. You are going to be nicer to XYZ--you won't snap at her, you'll keep your patience, whatever. 

You see how that works? To me, the key is the lectio. It's knowing what the text is really saying, what its implications are. 

As you know, I'm a part of the Take Up and Read team, and we've published our Lent study/devotional, Above All. (In the photo at the top) Every day, you'll get lectio passages--and notes. I did the notes, and it wasn't just to help readers, it helped me! I learned so much as I researched these books of the Bible! It's a beautiful companion for your Lent, and I'm so proud of it. It starts on Ash Wednesday (February 14!) and goes all the way to Easter. There are pages for journaling, an examination of conscience, essays, and more. And the profits will go Adore Ministries in Houston to support ongoing hurricane relief efforts! 

If you haven't gotten your copy yet, you can get it here. If you have any questions about it, or about lectio in general, let me know! I'm not an expert, but we can figure it out together. 

Lectio resources: 

Catholic Bible Dictionary

Ignatius Study Bible (NT)

Didache Bible

 

Catholics do read the Bible! And this is how we do it--with lectio.