Emily M. DeArdo's Blog, page 44

2019 Goal Setting!

I really love Lara Casey’s annual goal setting series (here’s part one!), and I adore using her Powersheets. The Powersheets have really been instrumental in setting GOOD goals, and in accomplishing big dreams for my life, so I heartily recommend them! (I don’t get paid to say that—I really do just love them!)

So I always look forward to the annual series, which I read along with doing the Powersheets prep work, and this year, I’ve got four main areas I’m working on:

FaithFinancesFitnessWriting

(OK, I couldn’t think of an “F” word for writing!)

First up: FAITH

To be consistent in prayer and deepen my spiritual life to create a deeper relationship with God.

If God is the center of my life—which He is—then I need to make my days revolve around that. To that end, one part of this goal is to consistent in prayer. As a Lay Dominican, I say at least Lauds and Vespers (morning and evening prayer) every day. I need to be consistent in these, because often I’m not, especially vespers, because that’s around dinner and chaos and all that.

Another part of this is getting deeper into the Bible, which is part of the work we do at Take Up & Read, anyway—well, part of the work, it’s all of the work. :) It’s our reason for existing! So I’m taking time to get into the word every day before I eat lunch. Recently I discovered for the first time Isaiah 54, and man, did it ever speak to me! More on the later. :)

Third, getting to daily Mass more often. To that end I’m working on waking up earlier so I can get to the 11:45 Mass on time. It’s downtown so it’s not just across the street, but I can do it! :)

Lastly, incorporate more holy hours. I LOVE holy hours. So I want to do one at least once a week, which will be easy to do once I move because there’s a church less than half a mile away with perpetual adoration. Winning at life!

Second: Finances

I made good progress on this last year, but I still need to save a complete emergency fund. So that’s the goal right now, as well as doing the Contentment Challenge and realizing that buying stuff isn’t going to make me happy, because, yes, sometimes I’ve done retail therapy. But I’ve also been better about that. So progress being made here, but it’s still an ongoing goal!

Third: Fitness

Ohh boy. We know I don’t like to work out, right? Well my goal is to find something I liek to do and do it, even if it’s for five minutes, every day. When I was sick in November and December and my joints and tendons took a huge hit because of the meds I was on, I realized that it was better than it could have been—because I’d been keeping my joints and tendons nice and flexible and warm. But I still had problems with them, and my right knee still isn’t 100% back. So I’m working, right now, on that aspect of fitness—getting back to baseline with my knees. I know I’m closer to 40 than 30, so this is important going forward! Gotta stay sharp.

Also part of this is to continue to meal plan, to eat healthy(ier) snacks, and also work on saving treats for feast days. I want to eat more “liturgically”, if that makes sense—fast when the Church fasts, and feast when it feasts! No, that doesn’t mean hard core fasting, but it does mean saving the special meals like champagne risotto (New Year’s Eve meal this year—YUM) and creamy chicken thighs and things like that for patron saint days or when guests come over. I’m not going to eat lentils and honey a la John the Baptist, but at the same time, I’m not going to go nuts every day, either. Simplicity. To that end, I’m also reading From a Monastery Kitchen * and Sacred Feasts. *

And finally….

Writing

I am currently working on a proposal. It’s been a few months in the working but I was getting so frustrated with it—I was thinking that it had to be perfect, and if it wasn’t perfect I was going to blow it and all these other not happy thoughts—so I took some time away from it. Part of that was being sick in November/December and part of it was a deliberate decision. I backed off and actually prayed about it.

Last week, I dove into it again, and I was shocked to see how the words were coming—I was creating pages that I did not hate! Huge step forward. So I’m hoping to have the proposal done this month and sent to the acquisitions editor (pray for me and my little proposal, please?).

Those are the four areas I’m focusing on this year. Also, I’m moving in the spring, so there will be serious decluttering/cleaning/all sorts of goodness happening in that department as well!

What about you? Do you set goals or make resolutions in the new year? What are they?

*=affiliate links

Yarn Along #82: The Swatch Post!

Should this be Yarn Along Part A? Not sure. Because there will be a proper yarn along, as well, with shawl progress and book goodness, because who doesn’t need that in January (or anytime, really)? But this is the swatch and blocking post because I learned a lot from doing this and I wanted to share with you!

First, though, we’re going to talk about this picture. Is this not awesome? It’s called “A Visit from the Angels”, but notice that Mary is knitting! I love it! I also love how Jesus is like, “Oh, angels. That’s cool.”

So, on to swatching!

I have never swatched before. But I thought, with the big Find Your Fade shawl coming up, that maybe I should. So I swatched, using the same type of yarn called for in the pattern (Knitpicks Hawthorne). You check for gauge in this case post-blocking, so I blocked it and measured it.

Now, it’s not quite at gauge. I don’t really care about that, because it’s a shawl so it’s not like it has to fit a certain way. I’m actually under the gauge—the swatch should measure 4x4, but it doesn’t. It’s a bit short.

However, I knitted a few more swatches, because, why not? I used the same yarn, but in a different colorway, and what I noticed was what a difference blocking makes.

On the left: a blocked swatch. On the right: Non-blocked. I mean look at that! Amazing!

I also knitted up swatches in different needle sizes: 4 (the size suggested), 6, and 8. It’s sort of hard to tell here, but you might be able to see that on the 8, it’s almost twice the size of the 4, which makes sense, but it’s also sort of sloppy. I had a hard time maintaining tension with this yarn on size 8 needles. After blocking it did look less sloppy, but it’s still pretty unpretty, so I’m using it underneath a vase on my kitchen table. :)

This is all post blocking: The 8 is in the back, 6 in the middle, 4 in front.

I didn’t hit gauge with the 6 needles, either—this time it was too big. I’m still relatively new to knitting, so I’m not entirely sure what this means….maybe I should’ve tried the five size needles? :)

Anyway, lessons to take away here:

Blocking is magic!

Swatches did help me learn how yarn feels on the needles, and I got used to working with this particular yarn.

It was also useful to see how it knits up on different size needles. Now I know, for example, that I’d never use this yarn on anything bigger than a 6. Maybe a seven. But on the 8s, it just did not work. A size six needle is OK, though.

I’m pondering doing a swatch blanket or something like that—it’s actually really relaxing to sit and swatch in garter stitch! And I think it could be a good way to stash bust as well.

Any thoughts on swatches, gauge, or other knitty things? Let me know in the comments!

Yarn Along #81 (Not the swatch post!)

This is NOT the swatch post that I promised here. That’s coming. So you’ll have to come back if you want that!

This is the “Yarn I got for Christmas and projects I’m planning with it” post. Also, “Books I got for Christmas”.

But let’s talk yarn first.

First of all, I got delicious Chickadee Yarn from Quince and Co., which you know I love for yet ANOTHER Drachenfels shawl! But this one is going to be autumnal in flavor. These shawls are really done based on colors I see and want to do—the Sage shawl was in part Sage influenced, but also influenced by early spring in Ohio.

Anyway, the colors for this one:

Gingerbread

Camel

Peacoat

This is autumnal, but also inspired by Eowyn’s wardrobe in the Lord of the Rings movies. One of her outfits is that gingerbread color, she wears a dark blue robe in Return of the King, and her hair is the sort of camel color, but it also echoes some of the embroidery on her Rohan gowns. So again, this is a doubly-inspired shawl!

The next two projects were financed by my dear friend Sarah, who gave me a gift certificate to Knitpicks, which meant I could take advantage of their yarn sale and buy enough yarn to do a Find Your Fade shawl! I know I’m late to this party, everyone else did this years ago, but now I know the skills needed to do it (thank you Aunt Sue for your tutelage yet again!).

So here are all the colors for THAT. The yarn is Knit Pick’s Hawthorne line, in various types—kettle dyed, multi, and their speckled.

Whew! So the fade goes from top to bottom, and the colors are: (KD=kettle dyed, S=speckled, everything else is the multi)

Sellwood

Goose Hollow

Delphinium (KD)

Alameda

Abernathy

Turkish Delight (KD)

Berry Smoothie (S)

I sort of adore these colors! Which is good because this shawl is SO big that I’ll be using them for a long time!

The last project is the felie shawl, where I’m using Frabjous Fibers yarn—their speckle in Victorian China—and the Hawthorne Turkish Delight you see above.

So, WHEW! Is that enough yarn for you?

As for books:

I adored Marilla of Green Gables. I also got The Gown, News of the World, The Terror, and Book Girl either as Christmas gifts or bought with Christmas gift cards/money. So I’ve been reading a lot, and, as I always do at the beginning of January, I’m re-reading One Thousand Gifts. (those are Amazon affiliate links) I will report on the others as I read them, or you can follow me on Goodreads!

What are you reading/knitting?

On the Ninth Day of Christmas....

Hi everyone! Happy New Year!

It’s STILL CHRISTMAS! Do not take down the tree! RESIST! (Unless you have a real one, which has become a fire hazard. Then, of course, get rid of it. But there are advantages to having a fake one, like my $20 Target tree….)

The ninth day of Christmas was always my favorite as a kid, because in the song it’s “Nine ladies dancing” and that just gave me a nice image. Also, my mom’s Christmas china has the twelve days of Christmas illustrated on the dessert plates, and “Nine Ladies Dancing” is the prettiest, so I always wanted that one. My mom, being a piper (she played bagpipes in high school!), is partial to the 11 pipers piping, obviously.

(I need to take pictures of the plates so you can see them! They really are gorgeous. I have 12 days of Christmas ornaments, but not the whole set yet—Hallmark is releasing them one a year, and they’re only up to ‘8 maids a-milking’.)

Anyway, how is your Christmas season going? Did you do anything fun? Are you enjoying wallowing in the Christmas books you got, like me? :) (Seriously, SO MANY this year, it’s an overflow of riches.)

Coming up here on the blog is a yarn along post about blocking (I know that thrills the non yarn people among you, but guys, it makes a HUGE difference, so it’s for the fabric-oriented), goals for 2019, and some writing updates…..but I just wanted to pop in and say hi with this entry.

And share this little guy’s picture, because he’s adorable. Did you have breakfast with Cookie Monster last week?

Advent pondering: At the service of His plan

I was reading my Advent devotional this morning and came across an essay that I dearly love to re-read every year. It’s so rich in pondering that I thought I’d share some of it with you, in the hope that we can bring this mindset into our Christmas and new year.

The Service of His Plan

Those who place their lives at the service of [God’s] plan never have any reason to be afraid…Every day [Mary] placed her life at the service of his plan.

When we are really placing our life at the service of his plan at the general work, then, yes, by our manner of behavior there, by the sweetness that we bring, the patience, the humility, we could rightly say, “This is the Word of the Lord.” These virtues are his ‘words”, and he is being made manifest by them….

Things were always better where [Mary] was. Things we always sweeter and calmer at the well when she was standing in line…She was the one who said, “Yes, I’ll wait. I will not add another irritable word. I will bring the loving, calming word. I will be the one who sees something extra to do, not wondering why someone takes so long at her turn, but seeing if I can help her.” She was no less placing her life at the service of the Divine plan when she waited her turn at the well, than at any other time. …

We should make the word a little less unutterable, a little more recognizable by the way we live and serve and love. …

God has a great plan also in what we call the unexpected. It isn’t unexpected to God. He planned it from eternity…There is nothing unexpected in all of creation…nothing should ever take us by surprise, except the wonder of God’s plan…

God..is saying exactly this to us…”I don’t reveal all the details of those plans because I cannot deprive you of faith. I cannot deprive you of hope. I cannot deprive you of the glory of trusting in me. I cannot deprive you of the wonder of seeing my plan as it unfolds.”…

We want to be come very intimate with him as the great mystics were in very simple, humble ways, saying, “Dear God, I don’t get this at all, but I’m so glad that you do. And I know that you have a plan and I only want to be at the service of your plan.”…

In our personal lives there is a wonder unfolding. It is wonderful to keep going forward. Even our Lady did not know the last page…let us determine in all the events of each day to place our lives at the service of his plan. This is the happiest way that a person can live.

—Mother Mary Francis, PCC, Come Lord Jesus: Meditations on the Art of Waiting

Burdens

Kelly at This Ain’t The Lyceum wrote a great piece about how everyone is a burden to someone at some point in her life. It’s not just people who are disabled, or poor, or old, or whatever. ALL of us were, or will be, a “burden” to someone.

One of the things you hear when people talk about assisted suicide is that they don’t “want to be a burden” to their loved ones. But think about it. Babies are inherently a burden to their parents. They can’t do anything for themselves. We all started there, and we’ll probably all go back there as we get older.

This touched me specially because I had a call with a “disability caseworker” last week, and I’m working through the SSDI application process. This entire process is dehumanizing and humiliating. It boils down to what you can do, and strips away anything else. So at the end of this call, which involved both my parents, I burst into tears.

“Why are you crying?!” My parents asked.

“Because these things are so humiliating. I feel like such a burden to everyone, I can’t do anything, you guys are just stuck with me forever! No one wants me!”

“We want you,” my parents said.

And then they reminded me that they really did want me. This wasn’t just parents saying what they’re supposed to say (like when you ask your boyfriend if a dress makes you look fat. There’s a right answer to that question.).

My parents really wanted me. They prayed hard for me. They got married in 1979 and I didn’t appear until 1982. My mom always wanted to be a mother. They prayed hard for me, and, in an example of God taking people seriously, Mom had said in her prayers that she would take a baby who needed extra care, because she knew she could love and take care of that baby.

And believe me, she has. The things my parents have done for me would take a really long time to explain, but here’s just a bit of it:

Many, many, MANY ER runs (One during the Super Bowl, when the Steelers were playing. My parents are huge Steeler fans.)

Monthly blood draws when I was a toddler.

Driving to Cleveland in a snowstorm for an appointment.

Many many many overnight hospital stays

Learning how to reconstitute medicines and give them via an IV, even 8 or twelve hours—yeah, that means middle of the night stuff. WHEEEE!

Beating on my chest twice a day, every day, as part of daily CF therapy (now that’s not really needed, there are inventions that take care of it, but back then, not so much).

Many insurance phone calls

Learning how to dress a third degree burn, and then doing the dressing at the kitchen table, which was just par for the course at our house.

It’s a lot. And I’d be lying if I said I never felt like a burden to them, because I do. Our society makes it clear of what it thinks about “people like me”. I’ve had people tell me, to my face, that I shouldn’t exist. That’s sort of hard to deal with. And as I get older, I get increasingly sadder about this fact that I’m not married, so my parents have to handle everything for me, because I don’t have a husband to help out. (Not that every husband would help out….)

But really, Kelly’s right—we’re all burdens. We just are, it’s part of being human. We depend on each other. Think about it. Even a “normal” kid needs mom and dad’s helps. Even “normal” adults need help every once in awhile. We can’t do everything ourselves, it’s just not possible.

But we see this as being wrong, and as something that needs eliminated. Sure, we all want to be independent. I am very glad, for example, that I can use the bathroom by myself, because having gone through periods of my life where I’ve had to wait for a bedpan or three nurses to help me, I do not take that ability for granted. But you know, there are times when I haven’t been able to do that, when mom has had to wash my hair, or Dad has had to call AAA because I can’t call them.

It can be a lot. It can be humiliating, and it can be depressing. As a society, we need to really focus on the person, because we are all God’s chosen people, in that, God willed us into existence. This is my existence.

I’m glad that I am independent, in some ways. I’m glad that I don’t need to rely on my parents for everything. But at the same time, I know that even when I have needed that, they’ve answered. And I know some parents don’t—I don’t know them personally, but I’ve seen them, I’ve heard the horror stories. I’m lucky.

People are people to be loved, not to be called burdens or dismissed because of it. Really, we could all be burdens to God. Think about how slow we are. I mean, doesn’t he ever sit up there and just facepalm? Seriously, humanity?! WE COVERED THIS!!!!!

But God made us anyway. People love us anyway. Our worth isn’t about what we can do or what job we have or anything external. Worth is internal.

Re-set for Advent

Does this week seem weird to anyone else? Like, there’s all this extra time? I’m so used to going right from Thanksgiving into December that this week has been throwing me off. Don’t get me wrong, I like the extra time, but it means that everything is being done early chez moi. For example, I usually send out my Christmas cards after Thanksgiving—I actually mail them on Thanksgiving, usually—so having them arrive at places before December 1 hits is just weird this year.

Decorations at my parents’ house—this is the front hall.

My shopping is done. I’m mailing out the gifts that need mailed and the things that need wrapped need wrapped. I’m not a great wrapper so I tend to delay it for as long as possible. :)

Thanksgiving was quiet, which was nice, because Christmas is nuts in my family. We have our big family reunion two days after Christmas, and then I’ve got friends coming home for the holidays so I want to spend time with them, and it’s just a big joyful crazy time, which I love.

With the “extra'“ time this week, I’ve been doing a bit of a reset. I read about reset days here (yes, it’s a guys’ website, but it’s good info!), and on Monday, I decided to do this. Being knocked out for two weeks because of Crazy Med made me lose a lot of time in November and I’m still not completely caught up on things like housekeeping and my NaNo novel but it’s all good.

So I used the “reset” day to reset before Advent (I like how that rhymes, too). Cleaning the house is part of it, but also getting ready for Advent—decorating the house, putting out the wreath, things like that. Making a big to-do list was really helpful.

An ornament I made in 8th grade art class.

I love Advent. I love the sense of preparation, and December is really the only time of the year that I like snow. Every other time it’s sort of meh. (That’s putting it mildly)

But I like the New Year aspect of Advent, too, because it is the new year for us, and I like the freshness, the starting over, the hope that comes in Advent.

So if you need a reset day too, you’re not alone. Let’s get ready for a new year, a fresh start, and the coming of the Baby Jesus!

Black Friday/Cyber Monday/ Small Business Saturday....oh whatever, it's a sale!

It’s that time again!

I put Catholic 101 on sale twice a year (If you’re a blog subscriber, you have a code for 15% off that you get when you subscribe, and that’s good anytime): on my transplant anniversary, and during Black Friday/ Cyber Monday/ Small Business Saturday, whatever it’s called. :) And that sale starts today!

So, from right now until midnight next Tuesday (December 27), Catholic 101 is $7, which is more than 25% off the retail price of $9.50. You can buy it for yourself, or give it as a gift! It’s available for all formats except Kindle, because Kindle formatting is…special. However, you can download it as a PDF and read it on your computer, if you only have a kindle.

You don’t need a special code or anything—the price is already reduced. Every purchase makes me really happy. So if you’re looking to shop small this year, I’d appreciate any support! :)

The book is 147 pages divided into four sections. It’s great for any Catholics in your life, or anyone who is interested in learning about Catholicism. It’s based on the series I wrote here on the blog, but there is also lots of new content that’s only available in the book.

(And, additionally—if you’re looking for a good Advent devotional, may I recommend Rooted in Hope?)

On My Soapbox: When people say they want "healthy" kids

(c) Erica Kay Photography

and some theology

I know that when most people say they want a “healthy baby”, they’re not being rude or mean. They’re probably trying to be nice.

But guys, I wasn’t a “healthy baby.” I looked healthy, initially, but I wasn’t. I had seizures. I had (and still have) thalessemia minor (I think it’s called type b now? Not sure). I got the CF diagnosis when I was 11.

So, should my parents have just pitched me back? “Nah, sorry, we wanted a non-defective model.”

And I know that people do that now. People kill their babies in the name of the kids “avoid suffering” in their lives. Bull crap. “Yes, let’s kill you, so you never get to have a life.”

That ties into part two: saying “God is Good” only when things go the way you want them to go.

Guys. God is good all the time. He is Good. It is in His very nature to be good. But that doesn’t mean that God’s Goodness=what you want.

Because it doesn’t work that way.

God created me with my “defective” genetic code and my blue eyes and my blonde hair and my fair skin and my wonky teeth and an ankle that cracks oddly. I have a really good memory and I love children and I do a pretty good Sebastian the Crab imitation. I have The Phantom of the Opera libretto memorized. (And Les Miz. And Miss Saigon. And Ragtime. And Parade…)

And yeah, I also have CF. I had a transplant. I’ve got scars. And I do talk about it, because it has become clear to me that it has to be talked about, because people see illness as scary and something to be avoided and pain as awful, to the point that Canada is allowing pediatric euthenasia.

God is always good. And God made me the way I am for a purpose. Is it always fun? No. It is not. There are times when I’ve been really peeved about it, to put it mildly.

But at the same time, it has made me who I am, and in general, I like who I am. I wouldn’t want to change that for the world.

God is not being “mean” to me. He created me the way he wants me to be.

And health doesn’t always stay health. Health is a transient thing, guys. Everyone will get sick. Everyone will die. It seems that in our society now we are idolizing life and health to the point that it is fully unhealthy. We’ve forgotten that we will die, that life is fleeting, that our home isn’t here.

Children are a gift from God, no matter how they come.

And God is always good. And He always loves me.

He always loves you, too. No matter what.

As [Jesus] passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him.”

—John 9: 1-3, NABRE

Preparing for the Savior: Rooted in Hope Advent Devotional

Can you believe that Thanksgiving is next week? I sure can’t. And after that, we’ve only got a week before Advent begins! The new church year is almost here!

If you’d like to give yourself some respite, some margin this Advent—some extra prayer time to prepare for Jesus’ birth—may I recommend Rooted in Hope?

This is our (Take Up & Read’s) revised Advent journal. We’ve added an entire extra week of reflections from Christmas Day to January 1, so that you can continue meditating on the greatest gift of them all in the days after Christmas—into the Christmas season, which is really a season in the Church, not just a day!

The REVISED COPY includes:
•8 more days of scripture, devotions, and journaling pages for Christmas week, all the way through New Year's Day,
•insightful research to make the lectio divina pages do-able during a busy season,
•undated pages to make this a timeless resource, usable each year.


Each day contains:
•scripture passage for prayer and reflection,
•a devotional essay, 
•pages for guided lectio divina, 
•space to organize your days. 

Journaling pages and useful planning pages feature clear and elegant design, exquisite hand-drawn illustrations, and gorgeous calligraphy.

It really is a beautiful book. I adored using it last year and I’m excited to get my hands on the revised copy this year. One of my favorite things? The planning pages. It’s so easy to forget all the things we have to do. Here, you can write it all down, and then pray about it during your prayer time. If you’re like me, lists help bring you peace.

If you don’t want to use the planning pages, you don’t have to! Our books are designed to be used in the way that best suits you.

You can order your copy right here. If you have any questions, leave them below and I’ll answer!