Hailey Hudson's Blog, page 24

Blogmas 2020 Day 1 (baking night!)

Welcome back to my fifth annual Blogmas! Blogmas, where I post a day-in-the-life post each day in December leading up to Christmas, is basically all I’ve been able to think about for at least the past month. I’m so excited for the Christmas season this year and so excited to share it with you (even though it will probably involve more work and more medical appointments than we’d all prefer). So, that being said… let’s just dive right into what I did today!

I woke up at 9:00 feeling terrible with my kitty all snuggled up next to me, which is more or less what happens every morning. Outside of the norm for us, though, was that we got a little snow overnight! We never get snow this early in the winter and it was still 70 a week ago–so this was super exciting. (Yes I realize it was literally six flakes, don’t burst my Southern bubble.)

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By 10:30 I was on the couch working–writing a blog post on email design trends for 2021 (I’m completely fascinated with how the pandemic has changed, or should change, marketing and customer communications). At noon I took a break for an omelet made with ham and leftover zucchini (which was AMAZING and my new favorite thing).

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Then it was back to work, this time on some product descriptions for another client. I worked the rest of the afternoon with a few small breaks to check the mail (thank you for the Christmas gift, Sara!), practice voice, and for my mom and Joshua to come over and pick some things up.

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Around five I wrapped everything up, got ready, and drove to Kenna’s house for a Christmas baking night. We made a tried-and-true recipe for baked chocolate donuts and tried a new recipe for cake batter protein truffles that came out absolutely AMAZING (all gluten free, dairy free, low fat, low sugar, high protein, etc). We ate a fun snack-y dinner, too.

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We also exchanged the first of our Christmas gifts! I gave Kenna a desk organizer that’s customized with a photo and she gave me a donut pan and a book of donut recipes (which was hilarious considering the only thing I’d talked about all night was how much I wanted a donut pan–I literally said I was going to go home and buy one on Amazon tonight).

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Tonight was way too much fun and the perfect way to start out the Christmas season!

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Today I’m grateful for: Having a good amount of energy, the gorgeous moon on the way home, and Grace Anne reminding us that the reason we celebrate is still unchanged.

Check out Blogmas Day 1 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016. What did you do today?

November 2020 Monthly Wrap-Up

At the beginning of November I felt like I was just sitting around waiting for Christmas to get here! Once we got into the month I did stay busy with work, plans with friends and family, and feeling very badly (lol), but I continued to spend a lot of time preparing for and getting excited about Christmas.

This month I had two voice lessons and four medical appointments. Kenna came over once for dinner, once for charcuterie, and once to just visit; I went to a cookie decorating class at Mom’s church; Joshua came over for dinner and a movie; Dad and I went to a build-your-own-charcuterie-board event; Mom and I went to Trader Joe’s and then she came for dinner; we had a baptism and Thanksgiving lunch at church; I visited Mrs. Norma; Dad, Joshua, and I went to see my grandpa in Chattanooga for a weekend; I went to my family’s house for two nights at Thanksgiving; and Brooke and I went to a Christmas tree farm (and started a new tradition of Friday lunchtime phone calls).

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This month I’m…

Reading: On the Far Side of the Mountain, Frightful’s Mountain, and Julie of the Wolves, Jean Craighead George (rereads). The Falcon Thief, Joshua Hammer. Charming As A Verb, Ben Philippe. A Grace Disguised, Jerry Sittser. Recommended For You, Laura Silverman. Now That I’ve Found You, Kristina Forest. The White Stag, Kate Seredy. Fast Girls, Elise Hooper. Betty Before X, Ilyasah Shabazz. The Lady’s Handbook for her Mysterious Illness, Sarah Ramey. The Best Bad Luck I Ever Had, Kristin Levine. 13 total.

Listening to: Christmas music!!! (I normally don’t start before Thanksgiving but it’s 2020, don’t @ me.) I Am They’s new Faithful God album. Oh Wonder. Breathe Deep, Sleeping At Last. I Love Me, Meghan Trainor. Pure Imagination, Joanna Wang. And a few random podcasts when I wasn’t feeling well, including Livy’s Dream to Destiny podcast.

Watching: The Frey Life, Diana Malloy, and Linda Sun on YouTube. Enola Holmes (well, half of it–I was never able to finish it). Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Shawn Mendes: In Wonder. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Eating and/or cooking: Apples with KIND peanut butter granola clusters. Turkey meatballs or diced ham with mashed sweet potatoes. Popcorners. Birch Benders pancakes. Mini peppermint Ocho candy bars. Pork chops and purple sweet potatoes. Chocolate pie and turkey.

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Writing: I was excited and grateful to find at least a few pockets of time where I had the energy to work on my book some–mostly sending emails and getting more quotes. Outside of my normal “9-5” client work, I did work for the Diamonds conference and Chronic Joy, and I thought about the fiction stories I desperately wish I felt well enough to write. Letter-wise I wrote 40 letters and received 23 (and had way too much fun starting to create Christmas envelopes).

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Buying: A medical ID bracelet. A used countertop George Foreman grill. A “Be Still and Know” mug. A handmade charcuterie board from a local business. Christmas washi tape, stickers, ephemera, and paper for envelopes and letters (yes, I went a little overboard, lol). Stickers from Hanne at coffeewithasideofart.

Grateful for (my gratitude journal is absolutely bursting but here are just a few): Daisy, the Labrador Retriever puppy that moved into my apartment building (I LOVE HER SO MUCH). The days when I was able to walk well and get things done around the house. Being able to work on my book a little bit. Colorful fall leaves. Surprise phone calls from friends on a normal Saturday night. Having role models who show me what it looks like to have a marriage/family with chronic illness. Joshua sending me school updates and telling me things about his life. Getting a bunch more hand-me-down clothes. And most of all, IT’S CHRISTMAS NOW!!!

What did you do in November? Blogmas starts TOMORROW and I could not be more excited!

2020 Book Releases I’m Excited For

I was scrolling through my WordPress drafts today and found this post from February 2nd that I never published. I like to go back to these types of posts at the end of each year and see what I thought of the books I was excited to read–so I thought I’d go ahead and hit publish on this one so I can do that later next month! I can say, I’ve read the majority of these by now and they’re all excellent, so maybe this post will give you some Christmas gift ideas for your bookworm friends

Trader Joe’s Haul (part three)

This is now exclusively a Trader Joe’s food blog. Yes, all I do anymore is shop at Trader Joe’s. It’s an exciting life.

Repeat buys (my staples by now):

Purple sweet potatoes x4Frozen mashed sweet potatoes x2Delicata squash x4GoMacro bars (heartwarming retreat flavor) x2Peanut butter protein granolaStrawberry ice creamEnjoy Life protein bites (both the sunseed butter and the dark raspberry flavor) x6 total (heating these up in the microwave is a GAME CHANGER)Sunflower seed butter cups



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The only new items in the photo not reviewed in this blog post are the dark chocolate almond butter cups (which ended up having dairy, so I sent them home with my mom) and the bananas (because, well, you know what a banana tastes like). All of this cost approximately $95.00. I’ve had zero appetite for the last few weeks and I’m hoping some of this fun stuff will tempt me. Let’s get into the reviews!

Olive Wood Bowls

I’d read about the bowls and cutting boards made of olive wood that Trader Joe’s gets at this time of year, and I was so excited to find these! They’re the prettiest little bowls and just the right size for a snack.

Would I buy again?: Yes–they would make a great gift.

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Cold Pressed Orange Juice

I mostly just picked this up to take my pills with, because I was out of orange juice at home and I’m a child and can’t take pills with water.

Would I buy again?: Not unless I needed orange juice.

Cauliflower Crisps

These were a new product that I was excited to try, and they were so good–I really, really liked them! (All ten of them that were in the bag, lol.)

Would I buy again?: Yes!

Lucy Glo Apples

The Lucy Glo variety of apple is vivid red on the inside. It’s beautiful, and it tasted so sweet and delicious!

Would I buy again?: Yes!

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Mandarin Orange Chicken

I haven’t been able to try this yet and I didn’t want to delay this blog post any longer, so stay tuned for my thoughts! I was super excited to learn that Trader Joe’s orange chicken was dairy free.

PB&J Bar

These PB&J bars are okay. You can’t really taste the peanut butter and jelly flavor, though–they kind of just taste like oat bars.

Would I buy them again?: Probably not.

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Raspberry Star Shortbread Cookies

I’ve been waiting for these raspberry star cookies for months, and they did not disappoint–they’re absolutely delicious! They’re soft shortbread cookies with a sweet jam center.

Would I buy this again?: Yes!

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Advent Calendar for Cats

This feline Advent calendar has a salmon and dried seaweed treat for every day in December. My mom got a dog Advent calendar for Sophie, too. Such a fun idea!

Would I buy this again?: I haven’t opened it yet so I can’t say for sure, but it looks great, so probably yes!

Soft-Baked Snickerdoodles

I was expecting these to taste pretty much exactly like the Enjoy Life brand snickerdoodles, and they do–they’re really good!

Would I buy this again?: Yes!

Coconut Crispy Rolls Wafer Cookies

These little cookies are great! They taste familiar, but I can’t put my finger on what it is they taste like. Maybe a waffle cone? Or a fortune cookie? Regardless, I think they’re so good.

Would I buy this again?: Yes!

Red Chili Scalloped Crackers

This is another new cracker product that Trader Joe’s recently put out, and it is delicious as well–when topped with some turkey sausage, it makes for a perfect meal!

Would I buy this again?: Maybe. I like these crackers, but I like other kinds of crackers better.

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Organic Toasted Coconut Granola Bark

This granola bark (shown in the picture above) is delicious! It’s granola layered with dark chocolate and toasted coconut chips.

Would I buy this again?: Maybe–again, while, was good, there are other dessert items I like more.

Creamy Cashew Yogurt Alternative + Almond Yogurt

I picked up these little yogurts just because I was out of yogurt at home. Yogurt is one of those things that kind of always tastes the same to me no matter the brand or flavor, so I wasn’t expecting to love especially the cashew yogurt as much as I did–I’m sad I only got one!

Would I buy this again?: Yes!

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That’s everything I got in this Trader Joe’s haul! Have you tried any of these items? If so, let me know your favorites in the comments!

October 2020 Monthly Wrap-up

October was a pretty busy and good month! I struggled quite a bit health wise but was able to be fairly productive and enjoy a lot of fun times as well. Normal stuff that went on, besides work: I had two medical appointments (I was supposed to have more, but they were rescheduled or canceled *eye roll*) and learned how to do some new medical things. I also had two tap dance lessons, two voice lessons, and made it to church twice–apparently I only feel well enough to do things twice a month, haha.

Brooke got married in October! I enjoyed taking a day trip with her one day and tasting vegan cheesecake another night. Then five of us went on her bachelorette trip to Chattanooga–and then the wedding happened! I am so excited for her and she was such a beautiful bride.

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Other fun stuff: We had family pictures done; I went to Kenna’s for dinner; Dad and I went to a coffee shop and Trader Joe’s; I stayed at my parents’ house for a weekend when they were out of town; Kenna came over for charcuterie boards; Andrea and I met for coffee; Kenna and I had a DIY Menchie’s night; and I ended the month sleeping over at my parents’ again and having a fun Halloween.

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This month I’m…

Reading: Scarlet, Cress, and Winter, Marissa Meyer. Living Life Backward: How Ecclesiastes Teaches Us to Live in Light Of the End, David Gibson. Half Magic, Edward Eager. Special Delivery and Staying Together, Ann M. Martin. Thimble Summer, Elizabeth Enright. The Queen’s Assassin, Melissa de la Cruz. The Paris Journal, Nichole and Evan Robertson. The Witch of Blackbird Pond, Elizabeth George Speare. This Is Your Brain on Food, Uma Naidoo. More Than Just A Pretty Face, Syed M. Masood. My Side of the Mountain, Jean Craighead George. Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life, Barbara Kingsolver. 15 total.

Listening to: My “cooking in the kitchen late at night” playlist (it’s a very specific vibe). Electric Love, BORNS. Alive, NEEDTOBREATHE. Ugly Heart, G.R.L. Fallin’, Why Don’t We. Maybe Don’t, Maisie Peters and JP Saxe. Living on the Last Hope, Saint Mikel. October, Alessia Cara. Wonder, Shawn Mendes. Getaway, Saint Motel. Autumn Leaves, Ed Sheeran. Stay Gold, First Aid Kit. Keeper of Days, Jon Guerra. Take Me, Aly & AJ. Goodness of God, Bethel Music. Semicolon Heart, Chris TMV. What Baking Can Do, Waitress.

Watching: The Frey Life, Trader Joe’s List, and Heal With Kailin on YouTube. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Eating and/or cooking: Daiya cheezecake. Strawberry ice cream in waffle cones. KIND bark and KIND breakfast protein bars. Many flavors of Ben & Jerry’s non-dairy ice cream. Everything bagels with avocado. Holiday Hash from Trader Joe’s. Banana bread topped with peanut butter and banana. Enjoy Life sunseed butter protein bites. Mini Ocho coconut candy bars. And the usual suspects–chicken and fish, sweet potatoes and zucchini, bagels and eggs, bananas and yogurt.

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Writing: Unfortunately not much happened in the way of writing this month. I’d planned to finish two chapters of my book and get those sent to alpha readers, but the interviewees I needed to speak to in order to finish those chapters weren’t available–and then I had a flare-up and was hugely struggling just to get my work done. In the way of letters, though, I mailed 37 and received 26.

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Buying: This “Taste and see” keychain from Handstamped by Stephanie. New jeans and a black maxi dress. A new Bible. Fun groceries at Target and Trader Joe’s. Books at a Chattanooga used bookstore. Harry Potter decorations for Halloween. A candy mold to make peanut butter cups. Stationery, notecards, and a catnip toy from Etsy.

Grateful for: The weather. So much good music. Meeting new friends. The things my body can do (like be on my feet to make dinner most nights!). Helpful medical devices, and doctors who make a definitive plan but ask me if I like it before proceeding. Rainy days at Target. Snuggles with the kitty.

What did you do in October?

Trader Joe’s Haul (part two)

If you know me, you probably know by now that I’ve become (ahem) mildly obsessed with Trader Joe’s. I blame my friend Kenna for starting this obsession and Natasha from Trader Joe’s List for furthering it. And also just Trader Joe himself, for having such amazing products.

Anyway. Today’s haul is technically a two-parter: some things that I bought on a trip to Trader Joe’s with my dad two weeks ago, and some things Kenna picked up for me the week before that. Some of the products I purchased were things I’d gotten before, including:

Strawberry ice creamPeanut butter protein granolaPeanut butter & jelly Frooze BallsGoMacro bars (although I did get all new flavors–everlasting joy, smooth sanctuary, and heartwarming retreat)Enjoy Life sunseed butter protein bites (I eat these almost every night and they’re the best thing in the WORLD–they taste like chocolate truffles, but are free of the top eight allergens and have 8g of protein to keep my blood sugar up for at least a little longer during the night! I also grabbed a pack of the dark raspberry flavor to try, and they were good too.)

Everything else reviewed in this haul was a new-to-me product that I was super excited to try. On the Trader Joe’s trip with my dad, I bought 19 items for $40. Here’s what I thought of each one!

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Mini Chicken Tacos

These cute little tacos are gluten-free, dairy-free, and pretty good! I eat them as a meal, but they seem like they’re meant to be more of an appetizer–they’re pretty plain and would be a lot better if you had a dipping sauce, maybe the cashew fiesta dip (which sadly upsets my stomach). Yes, homemade tacos would probably be cheaper and taste better. But I never know when I’m going to feel like eating what, and it’s nice to have these in the freezer if I decide on a whim that I want tacos.

Would I buy again?: Sure.

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Joe Joe’s

I thought I’d read somewhere that Joe Joe’s were large, soft sandwich cookies. Turns out, though, they’re essentially just like Oreos. They’re definitely good, but if I’d known I would have probably spent my money on something else. (Although, whereas Oreos normally upset my stomach, Joe Joe’s seem to be okay with me–so that’s super nice!)

Would I buy again?: Not unless I need them for a recipe or I’m trying a new seasonal flavor (peppermint Joe Joe’s, anyone?).

Chocolate Babka

This is a dream come true. It’s flaky. It’s chocolatey. And it’s dairy free! It definitely doesn’t make me feel great and I ended up taking some of it over to my family’s house, but it was so good. And so beautiful–I mean, just look at that flaky goodness. (*has a full photoshoot with Trader Joe’s babka*)

Would I buy again?: My heart says yes. My stomach says no.

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Holiday Hash

I can’t have very many vegetables, and I’m getting a little bored of the ones I can eat. So when I saw this hash that’s essentially just butternut squash, sweet potatoes, and herbs, I was totally on board! My favorite thing to do with this is add it to scrambled eggs (with some deli turkey meat thrown in too for extra protein). It’s delicious and makes your kitchen smell amazing. As I do with everything else, I froze most of the Holiday Hash in individual portions.

Would I buy again?: Absolutely. In fact, since it’s a seasonal product, I’m going to stock up next time I go.

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Aloha Bar

This was pretty good! It just tasted like your average chocolate protein bar. It did have a lot of fiber for me though (14g) and I’m not sure how I would feel if I ate the whole thing at once.

Would I buy again?: I don’t think so.

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Japanese Sweet Potato

I’ve been wanting to try Japanese sweet potatoes for quite a while and I was excited to pick this up. I cut it up and roasted it at 350 for an hour with honey and a sprinkle of salt. It was absolutely delicious! It tasted sort of like a cross between a sweet potato and a russet potato. It was also kind of chewy, but that might have just been mine since I forgot to add oil before putting it in the oven.

Trader Joe’s Haul

I went to Trader Joe’s for the first time a couple of weeks ago and it was literally the most exciting thing that’s happened to me all year (#2020 lol). The nearest Trader Joe’s to me is about 35 minutes away, but I happened to have a doctor appointment at the end of September that was just down the road. So I had to swing by! I did hours of research beforehand on the best products at this magical place, and I was so excited about everything I got. I spent $66 (not counting three items purchased for friends) and got 17 items. I can’t wait to tell you about them, so let’s get into my reviews!

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Murasaki Sweet Potato Chips

I’d heard these were good, and they were! They’re just sweet potatoes, oil, and salt, but I could eat the whole bag in one sitting. However, I won’t buy them again because they’re high in fiber and sent me into a mini flare-up (I follow a low fiber diet to manage my pain, nausea, and early satiety/extreme fullness).

Trader Joe’s Peanut Butter Protein Granola

Lately I’ve been really enjoying KIND peanut butter granola clusters. This is essentially the same thing, and it’s delicious; coconut yogurt with a handful of this is the perfect bedtime snack. I’m going to stock up on this next time I’m at Trader Joe’s because the KIND granola is normally out of stock at Walmart.

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Maple Leaf Cookies

I broke into these on the way home from Trader Joe’s and they were delicious–I definitely regret only getting one box! They’re similar to Oreos, but shaped like maple leaves, and the filling is slightly maple-flavored. They do tend to make me nauseous, but most of the time they’re worth it!

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Coconut Shrimp

I wasn’t planning to buy this, but I love shrimp and it looked like a good freezer meal to have on hand. I’ve been wanting to try it for weeks now but haven’t felt well enough yet and didn’t want to delay this blog post any longer–so stay tuned for my thoughts!

Cold Pressed Pineapple Juice

This was really good, but it had a lot of sugar and fiber–which are things I try to stay away from, at least in large amounts. I enjoyed it but won’t buy again.

Vegan Mac

I was excited to try Trader Joe’s dairy free mac-n-cheese. Unfortunately, the vegan mac didn’t really do it for me. It had a flavor to it that seemed familiar, but I just couldn’t place (butternut squash is the third ingredient, so maybe that?). I divided it into individual portions and put it in the freezer. I’ll probably eat the rest eventually, but I really don’t prefer it. (Although it does have a lot of protein–9g per cup!)

Vanilla Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert

I have had so much trouble finding a plain vanilla ice cream that’s dairy-free. Until Trader Joe’s, I couldn’t find one anywhere. And while I prefer other flavors of ice cream, there are times when I’m eating a brownie or some other dessert and I really just want some vanilla ice cream to go with it! So I grabbed this to keep in my freezer for those times.

Non-Dairy Strawberry Frozen Dessert

I got two of these, but I should’ve gotten three. Or five. Maybe ten. This is absolutely HEAVENLY. Everything about this strawberry ice cream is perfect. I got some waffle cones at Walmart and put the ice cream in there, and it got even better. It was so good I literally wanted to cry with happiness. Not exaggerating.

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Dark Chocolate Sunflower Seed Butter Cups

These are delicious, as expected! I don’t like them quite as much as the peanut butter cups I make at home. But I feel like when it comes to peanut butter cups, half of it is about the experience–and it’s fun to have a chocolate candy that I can take out of a bag, unpeel from the wrapper, and eat.

Chile Lime Chicken Burgers

I’ve been enjoying turkey burgers from Walmart recently, and I’d heard so much about these chicken burgers that I figured I would branch out and give them a try. I like them a lot!!

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Mashed Sweet Potatoes

Sweet potatoes are a really good food for me. But because of my carpal tunnel, I struggle with peeling and chopping them up. So I think this is the most genius idea I’ve ever seen! The potatoes are frozen into small coin shapes. Drop 8-10 coins into a saucepan, add a few tablespoons of water, and you have mashed sweet potatoes within five minutes. Brilliant!

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Peanut Butter & Jelly Frooze Balls

I should have looked more closely at the nutrition facts before picking these up–they have 9g of fiber, which is too much for me. I probably won’t be buying them again, but it was fun to try them once! They tasted a lot like date balls.

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GoMacro Bars

I got two flavors of GoMacro bars: protein purity (sunflower butter and chocolate), and protein pleasure (peanut butter chocolate chip). They were good, but not $2.29 good, and I doubt I’ll get them again (although I did feel trendy eating them, lol).

Vegan Banana Bread with Walnuts

This was great! Nothing special, but a solid loaf of banana bread. I sliced it up and put it in the freezer to eat piece by piece (with peanut butter on top to add more calories and protein).

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Pumpkin Bread & Muffin Mix

I’m going to make this boxed pumpkin bread mix sometime later in October when I finish the banana bread. It looks good!

Sadly, Trader Joe’s didn’t have any Enjoy Life sunseed protein bites–which is, ironically, the entire reason that I’d originally wanted to go. But I stocked up on those from Enjoy Life’s website, so it’s all good.

September 2020 Monthly Wrap-up

Much of September was spent in preparation for the final week of the month–getting ahead on work, doing research and paperwork, etc. Before we got there, I had five or six medical appointments; a voice lesson; and two tap lessons. Kenna and I had a fun evening at Menchie’s and the park; Andrea and I went to lunch; Brooke came over for brunch; Kenna and I went to dinner; Brooke went with my family to an apple “house;” and my dad and I went to lunch at a WWII aviation-themed restaurant.

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The last full week in September was crazy–it honestly felt like a whole year in and of itself. I took off work the whole week (which weirdly made it feel like Christmas break). The first couple days, I had some medical appointments–including a pretty big one that I’d been waiting for for months, where we learned some important and helpful things. (And I went to Trader Joe’s for the first time, which was way too exciting.)

After that, we went to the beach Wednesday-Sunday. We’d been planning for months to go to Gulf Shores. But that fell through because of Hurricane Sally–so we threw together a very last-minute trip to North Myrtle Beach. We had such a fun and relaxing trip walking on the beach and picking up shells; playing Yahtzee with a view of the ocean; and making fresh chocolate chip cookies every afternoon (a beach tradition).

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This month I’m…

Reading: Archenemies, Supernova, and Cinder, Marissa Meyer. Falling Free, Shannan Martin. Traitor to the Throne, Alwyn Hamilton (reread). Dream Things True, Marie Marquardt. The Next Right Thing, Emily P. Freeman. The Scars That Have Shaped Me, Vaneetha Rendell Risner. Welcome to Camden Falls, Needle and Thread, Tis the Season, Best Friends, Coming Apart, September Surprises, and Keeping Secrets, Ann M. Martin (rereads). The Geography of Lost Things, Jessica Brody. The Wish Granter and The Shadow Queen, C. J. Redwine (rereads). 18 total (I also apparently read a book called Magic, but I have no memory of this and no idea who the author was??).

Listening to: Peter Frey’s Living With Hope podcast. Tuck Everlasting. Acoustic hymns. Honeybee, The Head and the Heart. Surround Me, LEON. Hopeless Wanderer and Mountain Sound, Mumford & Sons. Peer Pressure, James Bay. Heather, Conan Gray. Alive, NEEDTOBREATHE. Let Me Move You, Sabrina Carpenter. Ugly Heart, G.R.L. Living on the Last Hope, Saint Mikel. Maybe Don’t, Maisie Peters.

Watching: The Frey Life, Elli Feingold, and Trader Joe’s List on YouTube. Boy Meets World season three. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Eating and/or cooking: White chocolate chip blondies. An anniversary meal for my parents–chicken piccata, green beans, bacon mac n cheese cups, mango mousse, and Oreo cobbler. Trader Joe’s cashew fiesta dip, cinnamon rolls, and maple leaf cookies. Enjoy Life sunseed protein bites. Chicken sausage and butternut squash. Nature’s Bakery raspberry fig bars. Ben & Jerry’s nondairy Netflix and chill flavor. Whiting. And at the beach: Cracker Barrel biscuits, chocolate chip cookies, apple cake, and candy corn.

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Writing: I was able to work on my book some during the time I was off work, which was really great. I also wrote and mailed 42 letters this month and received 26.

Buying: Autumn washi tape. Stationery items from Shein. Lots of exciting food at Trader Joe’s (full haul coming soon). Green sweatpants. A whole case of Enjoy Life sunseed protein bites. Two mugs and a shirt from Myrtle Beach. A cute autumn pot holder and a scented sachet from Cracker Barrel. A new floor lamp and some mini pumpkins. And a Hobby Lobby fall mug because I can’t resist.

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Learning: 1) Sitting still is okay. But also, you’re never really sitting still–you can’t help but keep moving forward in life. 2) Even if something in life isn’t the way I thought it would be, it is still good. 3) The importance of receiving life as a gift rather than pursuing novelty or change in an attempt to satisfy myself.

Grateful for: Being asked to be a bridesmaid for the first time! My dance teacher building in time to stretch during our lessons, because she knows I have heart rate issues. Kenna leaving me scones in her mailbox. And literally everything about our vacation.

What did you do in September? What are your plans for October?

August 2020 Monthly Wrap-Up

(Words that were said aloud in the drafting of this post: “What was August? I don’t even know.”)

August ended up being really unexpectedly busy with work, and because of my health, that was about all I could handle. I was glad I had a bit of a break from medical appointments this month (I only had two!) so I could stay home, rest, and get the work projects done. I also did a lot of baking/cooking and enjoyed trying a bunch of new foods and products.

I was finally able to make it back to church this month for the first time all summer. I also had a couple of voice lessons, and several video calls for my book and for the multiple chronic illness ministries I work with. Fun stuff I enjoyed doing this month: one of Joshua’s baseball games, two dinner picnics with Kenna (one that involved ducklings and a delicious vegan dessert), spending time with my pastor and his wife, two lunch picnics with Brooke (one that involved vegan donuts and taking her dog to the lake), driving up to a local farm with Brooke, trying out Cinnaholic (which sells vegan gourmet cinnamon rolls) with my dad, and Kenna coming over for dinner. I also really enjoyed sleeping over at my family’s house, showing my brother the first Harry Potter movie, and having my mom’s birthday dinner after not being able to see my family for most of the month.

This month I’m…

Reading: The League of Wives, Heath Hardage Lee. The Dazzling Heights and The Towering Sky, Katharine McGee. Placemaker, Christie Purifoy. Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, Betty MacDonald (reread). The Less People Know About Us, Axton Betz-Hamilton. Hope and Other Luxuries, Clare B. Dunkle. Unravel the Dusk, Elizabeth Lim. I Will Not Fear, Melba Pattillo Beals. All the Stars and Teeth, Adalyn Grace. The Blood Spell (reread) and The Traitor Prince, C. J. Redwine. Renegades, Marissa Meyer. 13 total.

Listening to: Peter Frey’s Living with Hope podcast. Emma Carey’s Chill playlist. Ben Rector’s Magic album. Tchaikovsky’s Violin Concerto in D major. Candid, MICKY. Lemons, Ashley Tisdale. Home, Surfaces. Let the Good Times Roll, Ben Rector. The Sound of Music, Christy Nockels. Fresh Roses, Juke Ross. Sour Strawberry, Caroline Manning.

Watching: The Frey Life, Kiara Madisen, Katie Mack, Morgan Yates Vlogs, Abbey Sharp, and Natacha Oceane on YouTube. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.

Eating and/or cooking: Avocado egg salad (never again). Tilapia. Justin’s peanut butter cups. Homemade peanut butter cups. Jam thumbprint cookies. Annie’s vegan mac n cheese. S’mores pan cookies. Beanfield cheddar chips. Jolly Llama ice cream cones. Tallenti dairy-free coconut chocolate cookie sorbetto. Mango bread. InnovAsian orange chicken. Plums. Roasted nectarines. KIND healthy grains peanut butter granola (delicious with a banana and dairy-free coconut yogurt). Peanut butter filled pretzels. Blueberry tarts. Cashew clusters. Dole Whip. Cinnaholic cinnamon rolls and cookies.

Writing: I completed the outline for my book and sent it to my alpha readers this month. I also enjoyed a few sessions digging into some writing, but unfortunately I don’t have nearly as much energy to devote to this book as I wish I did! And while I struggled to write letters this month due to brain fog, I ended up mailing 46 and receiving 35.

Buying (not much because I was trying to not spend money this month, lol): A bathing suit (which hasn’t yet been used; at least I have it, I guess). An air plant in a mini “Celebrate the little things” tin mug from the Freys. Recipe cards. And some goodies from a local farm, like glazed pecans, handmade soap, and blueberry jam in a miniature jar.

Learning: About how to live in the waiting (again) and how to trust there is good to come.

Grateful for: A friendship quilt. Rainy days. Texting with my grandpa. Friends who pick me up dairy free food (my love language) at the store or leave fun snacks on my doormat. Finally being back at my church. Finally spending time with my family again. Friends who can give me inside info on the new doctors I’m about to see, lol. Getting a bunch of hand-me-down clothes from a friend. Having close friends who completely understand certain struggles. And a family friend announcing they’re having a baby!

What did you do in August? What are your plans for September?

there is good coming. there is.

Today I drive with a close friend along familiar roads to an unfamiliar destination. We talk about old memories and make plans for new ones. We eat ice cream in the car (a Dole Whip for me). We pick through baskets of peaches and find some of the weirdest jellies and jams I’ve ever seen (while wearing masks, of course, because #2020). I feel content and happy–I really needed this fun and somewhat spontaneous day. But I catch the tinge of sadness in my heart, too. I’ve been doing this thing lately that’s a little ridiculous, but I can’t stop. I feel like life is about to be full and fun and beautiful and fulfilling–until a certain date a couple of months away, that is, and then I feel like it won’t be anymore.

Before I left this afternoon, I was working on the chapter of my book about staying–a concept introduced to me this summer by Hannah Brencher and Grace Anne. It’s the idea of digging in for the long haul, walking in the trenches with people day after day and why that’s so important. But what does that look like, I find myself wondering now, when so many of the people I want to stay for are states away? When I get back in my car at the end of the afternoon and turn up the music, Ben Rector reminds me that you can’t make old friends, and that doesn’t help my emotional state. I know the whole life-will-only-be-good-until-X-date thing is ridiculous, because of course there will be other fun days in my life. But essentially, this is exactly what happened to me last year.

Another concept that’s really important to me is the idea of living a full life, and if you’ve heard me talk about fall 2019 at all, you know it was the most full season of life I think I’ve ever lived. Those days were packed with so many good and beautiful things. I was dancing in a show at our local Playhouse. I was spending time in the Word with new friends my age. I was writing a novel and doing fun things with my family and just absolutely thriving in every way during that first autumn in my apartment. I was growing and learning and creating, spending time with people I loved doing things I loved. It was so beautifully full that it hurts my heart a little every time I think about it.

And then, literally the morning after we closed the show, I woke up muggle sick. Two weeks later I was in the ER. And that full season of life faded into a bleak winter that I essentially spent at the hospital. By March, I was pulling eight-hour days of appointments and tests, with any downtime in-between spent in the hospital cafeteria. So when I look at my calendar for this fall, I can’t help but worry that the exact same thing is going to happen. For the next seven weeks I see picnics with friends and a beach trip with family and tap dance lessons at my dance studio. But after that, my calendar holds nothing but appointments with new doctors who have already thrown out a list of potential procedures and tests.

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It’s true that some things are changing irrevocably after this date in my head. No season of life will ever be exactly like this one again. But I have to keep reminding myself that there are so much better seasons to come that we can’t even see. The best is yet to come, and often, the best is a surprise.

A couple of months ago, Grace Anne cited Psalm 27:13 (a verse I’ve loved for a long time) in one of her Tuesday Letters. “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living,” the verse reads. Don’t be afraid to expect good things from God, Grace Anne said. And in another recent letter, she talked about gifts–how she often lives dreading her current season coming to a close (which is, obviously, something I can very much relate to) but how every season comes with its own gifts.

I think it’s so important to cling to verses, to truths, like these. To look for His goodness in the land of the living. I wouldn’t call last winter “good,” but there was certainly still good in that season–friends who left care packages on my doormat when I was maybe the sickest I’ve ever been, quality time with my mom (even if it was spent at the hospital), discovering a new hobby in washi tape and papercrafts. Our Father is a Father Who gives us good gifts. So we can trust that even during the more difficult seasons, there will still be good things in life as well.

Because there’s this, too: When I think back to last fall, all I remember is how beautiful it was. My memory conveniently glosses over the multiple weeks I was too sick to get out of bed, the procedures and tests that were done, and the medical trauma I had to fight through to show up for them. Even in that full season of life that I remember as being the best season I’ve ever lived, there were still very real and very difficult struggles. And even in the bleak season of last winter, there were still good things, too. “There is always sorrow in the joy. And, praise God, there is always joy in the sorrow,” Jennifer Holmes wrote on Instagram last week.

There is good coming. There is. And it’s not going to stop coming on a specific calendar date. There will be seasons of life that are full and beautiful and more than we ever dreamed they could be. And there will be seasons of life that are difficult and draining and downright painful, because we’re promised an abundant life, not an easy one. But even in those difficult seasons, the ups and downs and the highs and lows, there will be abundance. There will be good. And eventually we’re all going to walk each other home into the fullest season yet, the one that is eternal, the one that never ends.

There is good coming. There is.

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