Ashley R. Pollard's Blog, page 10

February Has Come: A Reflection

It has been a long while since I've been able to objectively assess myself. What I have gone through over the last two years has left me being drowned by my emotions. But, it's not all about me, the last year has been difficult for everyone due to the Covid19.

It is what it is.

Looking back, I can see my journey when my rheumatoid arthritis flared up, and my immediate reaction to the steroid injection. Still, I was optimistic that the treatment would work. I trusted my consultant and her team because I have worked in the NHS and know the system. 

While my physical symptoms did improve, what I didn't notice was the decline in my mental state.

I'm pretty resilient about setbacks, but hadn't realised that my mood was being affected by the medication. Being a former nurse, I'm aware that when nurses become ill they somehow always seem to get the worse of it.

It's a medical trope of sorts. 

Joked about amongst staff when someone becomes ill, because humour among medical professionals tends to be dark.

When my mood worsened, I went and saw my doctor. I probably scared the bejesus out of her when I told her what I was going through.

She wanted to refer me to mental health team, but I said there was no point, given that I had no intention to act on my negative thoughts and, perhaps arrogantly I stated why waste their time with me when they have others who don't have my knowledge to cope.

Even at my lowest, I still retained enough perspective to be objective about my distress. So yay me! So looking back on 2020. What a year!

I find it difficult to sort out what I managed to write, but it is easier to look at what I published.

In January 2020 I released book four in my World of Drei series, Mission Two. I also released the compilation of the first three World of Drei books, Year One: The Last War.

Writing wise I finished nothing, so I had nothing new to publish.

However, I started a short story about the lost robot team from Strike Dog, which currently stands at 1,346 words.

I'm fiddling with the draft of Two Moons current version stands at 22,885 words; a variable figure as I shuffle scenes between it and the next Tachikoma novel, Red Dogs that stands at 13,964 words. The shuffling of scenes is being driven by the difference between an action led story team, versus a mystery led story team.

Started an edit on the 69,664 words of my novel The Bureau, but it got put aside, lost from being overwhelmed by all the furore going on in the world.

Made notes and a rough draft outline for a set of wargame rules, currently running at 8,381 words.

Obviously, I wrote 32 pieces for this blog, and put up 43 model making and painting posts on my Paint it Pink blog. Can't tell you how many words because I seem to have lost the will to compile the word counts for 2019 and 2020.

Again, it is what it is.

The bright part of 2020, for definitions of bright where Terms & Conditions Apply, was pushing myself to do a bunch of online writing courses. To better the quality of my writing by acquiring the skills to improve characterization, my descriptions of setting, and understand how different genres drive the structure of a story.

This leaves me with the task of assimilating all this learning into my writing, which is a thing in and of itself. That's where I am now.

Hopefully, I will be able to move forward as the world around me improves.

A Study in Story Telling

I posted a link to my Facebook page about Outside the Wire with a short tag.  

We watched this last night. It has combat robots and drones and action and stuff, but did I mention cool combat robots? Worth giving this a watch if you like combat robots battling other combat robots.

A long thread followed. One friend commented he liked how the the robot was able to manipulate it's programming as being stupid scary. While another friend thought Leo started to display all the unfortunate traits of a Bond villain or Doctor Evil.

I tend to agree with the former comment, because even though the end is not all it could be, I enjoyed it enough to give it a pass. And because the end was far better than I thought it would be.

But I disagree that Leo failed by becoming a Bond villain or Doctor Evil.

Why? Because I don't think his goal was what it appeared to be. But I would fully admit that I might be projecting the direction of the story on what I would've written. Let me unpack my understanding of what Outside the Wire was all about.

The plot of any story is basically a series of linked events driven by the sequence of outcomes (so called try/fail cycles), from the decisions the characters make when faced with problems they have to solve.

The theme of a story is what the story is actually about.

Harp's story starts by revealing he's a drone pilot. When faced with a problem his actions shows us who he is.

A character who eats Gummy bears and is super cool under pressure. Smart and emotionally cold, or able to distance himself from his emotions. So much so that he can to make a really hard choice; sacrifice the lives of two Marines to save the other 38 people in the platoon.

This is the core of his character. Someone who is capable of sacrificing lives for the greater good.

The aftermath of his actions results in him being court-martialed, because he broke the chain-of-command when he disobeyed his orders. He is punished by being sent to the front to learn from experience,

When Harp arrives he is assigned to a Captain Leo.

During their initial conversation Leo reveals himself to be an advanced AI android who can pass as fully human; tells Harp that he asked specifically for him; tells Harp what he thinks of him, not good; finishes their conversation by blatantly asking Harp whether or not he trusts him?

Through the story we learn that Leo is smart, warm and empathic, and a highly capable combatant. This is the core of his character.

By the time we get to the climax, we have also learnt that Leo is easily able to manipulate the humans around him to achieve his plans. During his showdown with Harp, Leo outlines his plan to launch a nuclear strike against America, sacrificing millions of lives for the greater good of mankind.

Harp stops the plan, even though Leo could've easily killed Harp during their climactic fight.

However, I believe that Leo's plan was a charade, to highlight the danger of advanced generalized AI like him, and stop more of him from being deployed. Otherwise why would Leo go through all the trouble to set up this crazy complex plan to allow himself to be stopped?

I think the clue to answering this question is the opening of the movie. 

Harp is shown to have made the right choice (for example, easily proved with a forensic examination for chemical traces of the launcher rockets fuel in the ruins of the van), but he is still court-martialed for not following the chain-of-command. In a more generic war movie it would have been medals and home in time for tea (or coffee, or in Harp's case, Gummy bears.

The importance of following the chain-of-command, and the consequences for not doing so is shown. My takeaway is that an advanced generalized AI not following the chain-of-command is the real threat. Leo is setting himself up as an example of what could happen if more like him are deployed.

But, how can Leo be sure to convince people this is his plan?

My take is that it is easier to convince people what you say is true when they believe what they're being told is true. Leo can easily convince Harp that he intends to sacrifice millions of American lives, because his actions reflect what Harp did; sacrificing lives for the greater good.

That is why Leo chose Harp to join him.

Harp's chain-of-command wants smart, cool and capable people, but they can't have them not follow orders. Even if everyone in the chain-of-command realized they were being played, Leo is their worst nightmare. Smart capable, cool and will break the chain-of-command and sacrifice lives for the greater good.

Whether Leo's plan succeeded or failed didn't matter. It was the threat Leo posed that mattered. And that is why I think Leo allowed Harp to beat him, because his end goal was not to have more like him appear on the battlefields.

A programmable AI that doesn't follow orders is a good reason to cancel making more. 
Does this make Outside the Wire perfect? No, because the ending was not all it could be, because if it were then I wouldn't have to unpack it the way I did.
But as I said, "Worth giving this a watch if you like combat robots battling other combat robots."

Post Annus Horribilis

Life would have more clarity if you could. Shit scary, but clarity.

I see everyone posting hopeful goodbye to 2020 and to a better 2012 (sic)... 2021 (doh!). Don't get me wrong, things will improve going forward, but a fixed date on the calendar isn't in and of itself a harbinger of change.

Last year I opined on how 2019 hadn't been a great year for me, but better than 2010. A year later I find myself again saying the obvious, 2020 wasn't great either. And funnily enough, still not worse for me than 2010, because no hospital admissions for emergency surgery for one.

This may sound callous, but in the bigger scheme of things I can only control those things I can control, and when it comes to my health, that isn't a certainty either.

We lost a lot of people to the global pandemic, but it could've been a whole lot worse, still shouldn't have been this bad (this isn't rocket science, just ask veterinarians on what to do).

My predictions for 2020 were pretty much spot on. 

If only I had thought to add something about a pandemic, people would've been amazed at my powers of prestidigitation. As it is, I can rest assured my lack in predicting the future will go unremarked. Which is a good thing. There's enough crazy in the world without me adding more.

My partner has been home for most of December, which has been lovely. It has helped me immensely too. The only intractable problem I appear to have at the moment is staying focused. I find myself distracted by things far too easily, and not in a good way.

You know? Oh look, something new and exciting... I must have the shiny thing kinda way.

Plans for this year: finish my next two novels, write a set of rules, and make and paint some more models. Simple goals that I can hope to achieve.

Catch you all on the bounce.

Do You Love Me?

  Susan caught this and passed it onto me, knowing that I love what Boston Dynamics do. This is both a fun video, and for those of us into RealRobo a very exciting step towards walking robots and mechs.
It could also be a sign of the robot apocalypse, but I tend towards optimism and liking people, rather than the more common misanthropic pessimism that tends to pervade SF genre and fandom.

Quantum Locking Will Blow Your Mind

It certainly blew mine, sort of. Given that my mind has been blown by many concepts over the years, the relative impact is probably not as great on me as it might be on others. It's one of the reasons I love reading science fiction.

One could even suggest that I'm addicted to the sensation of having my mind blown.

Anyway, this video caught my eye, and I even referred to it in a recent conversation over zoom.

This is likely to be the last post of the year, so I will wish all my readers a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.

Writing, I've Done Some

Here's a blast from the past. One of my friends posted a review of OHMU War Machine, snippet below, go read the rest on Board Game Geek.

I only very recently (2020) learned of the existence of OHMU and was lucky enough to acquire a lone remaining copy from one of the authors. I always enjoy taking a look at older games like this, too see how games and their base assumptions changed over time.

When I posted my new acquisition online it got a number of responses from people who had heard of the game but never seen or read it and were curious about it, so I figured I might as well do a first impressions/review on it here.

So, spurred on by the feedback on BGG, and friends egging me on, I've gone and co-opted another fellow gamer, and I'm now working through a new draft of the Bad Dog rules.

What's also interesting for me, is seeing how much of the background fluff I wrote nearly 30 years ago for OHMU, has seeped into the the ideas behind my Gate Walker universe trilogy.

Anyway, more news as and when.

Chinese View of the Rest of Us

I read a lot of news. Mostly technology, science, and military. But I also have reasons to follow Chinese news (propaganda), and came across this article about how the Chinese sees America, and by extension, the rest of the world.

They're here for the long haul. 

Therefore it's wise to note that they are proud of their 5000 years of recorded history of their civilization, and how they perceive themselves as resilient across time. Also useful for me, because China is a world super power in the Gate Walker universe, and therefore this stuff helps me get inside the head of Chinese ambitions. As you can infer, I'm still researching for the next book, having realized how little I know about the nature of Chinese ambitions, and the world of espionage.

Another Month Flew By

Another month has flown by. When I've not been painting miniatures to escape the world around me,  I've been noodling about rules for playing a tabletop miniatures game set in my Gate Walker universe.

It's a way for me going back to my non-fiction writing roots.

Having failed to market the previous rule set I wrote*, it's important to minimize the risk of my mecha combat rules getting lost in the churn. So, I've been asking myself, what do I want to achieve with these rules?

An important question, because I'm aware that there are several new sets of mecha rules out, or are about to be released to market. I want to focus on command and control, including the use of UAVs/drones.

Currently the UAVs are for laying out the deployment points on the game table.

But, I just had this idea about how to use them in the game as artillery spotters for fire-support. Besides that, I want the game to feel like a battle taking place in the future, where everything is interconnected.

What I'm hoping to do is make my game different from other sets of rules, with it's own unique selling points to encourage players to buy these and instead of BattleTech or Heavy Gear.

A tall order. But a worthwhile goal to have. That's all for now, catch you all next month.

NB: *OHMU War Machine: Oversized Heavy Mechanised Units.

On Lemons, Lemonade and Robot Tales

Life is still serving us lemons, and I'm overwhelmed with trying to turn them all into lemonade. but I found this article through my feeds on Defence News.

I also have a friend who is working on 5G connectivity for the Army, link in the picture below. 

 

So, as you can imagine from reading my books, these are both very interesting projects as they show I wasn't too far off extrapolating the tech needed for my near future Mil-SF stories.

Currently I'm wrestling with a short story, project title: Omake – Japanese for Extra –The story of what happens to the lost robot explorer team seen briefly in mt second novel.

I had planned to include this as an epilogue in Strike Dog, but readers thought it left too many questions hanging like a loose thread, and so I cut it out. Since then I've gone and expanded what was a couple of short paragraphs into several thousand words of odd snippets.

My plan is to turn these into a bunch of short stories about an android and robot dog.

But first I have to knock all the fragments I've written into a coherent narrative, rather than the number of short 'cool' scenes I have compiled.  So, I intend to use the Omake name for a collection of these shorts, as and when I can get my ass into gear.

And, I haven't thought of a good title for the first of the tales of  the android and his robodog, and what happened to them, their discoveries, and the consequences for them and mankind.

Keep well, stay safe, and catch you all on the bounce.

October, September Flew By

 

I could ask myself where did September go, but what's the point? No posts here, but I did put one on my Facebook page. I usually post here and there, but what can I say? In a world where brain eating amoebas were found in water supplies in the United States, as just one example, it seems the best thing to do is batten down the hatches and ride out the oncoming storm.

So I just didn't bother.

However, I thought for those of you who don't follow me on Facebook, I'd post a link to my author page, which can be accessed by clicking the picture above.

In other news, I've been working on my models, which you can see on my other blog.

Meanwhile, I'm using the model making time to meditate on issues that perplex me, as one does; or at least I do. I'm boggled when friends say they think I'm trying to change their minds with my pieces because I thought I made it clear that they were my attempt to argue through and understand the baying mobs on social media.

As I said to friends, fact don't change opinions, and if I wanted to try and change a persons opinion I wouldn't start with facts. For a start one has to know if the other person wants to change their opinions or needs to for practical reasons.

Even when those criteria are met, it's hard to change people's opinions/beliefs. It just is. Otherwise how does one understand therapeutic outcomes being so low, or relapses after a successful course of treatment?

Emotions are the key to our beliefs.

These start when one is born, and the environment you're brought up in feeds your experiential growth. Leaven with classical and operant conditioning, and by around the age of four or so you have the foundations laid for who you grow to become.

As time goes by, more core beliefs are laid down, and we build our assumptions on them.

By your teenage years your thoughts are driven by hormones, genetics, and experience. This is why it's difficult to change beliefs and or habits.

Not impossible, just hard. Harder than you think unless one has an epiphany from a traumatic event.

Anyway, that's all I have to say for now. I must get my act together and write more, but one step at a time, because change is hard.