Susan May's Blog: Susan May Official Website, page 7

Film Reviews 14th August 2015

FILM REVIEWS FROM SUSAN MAY

(who thinks she knows everything about films)



Films reviewed for 14th August, 2015

I haven't been able to get my website to feed into Good Reads ever since I changed the Blogger address to my own domain name www.susanmaywriter.com 

Then I thought I would manually add blog posts here, but it doesn't display very well.

So if you would like to read my film reviews for the week all laid out beautifully with lovely posters, click here: http://www.susanmaywriter.com/2015/08...

This week I'm reviewing:

Man From Uncle - I loved this film. It's certainly no poor relation of the sixties TV show

Iris - This wonderful New York woman in her nineties has more chutzpah and energy than most of us.



If you are a film fan, you might like to read my thoughts: http://www.susanmaywriter.com/2015/08/film-stuff-14th-august-2015.html



P.S. If you are a web wizz, I would love to work out how to get feeds working on my site again. I use blogger but it now redirects to my personal domain name from the blogger address. You can DM me if you would like to help. Anyone who can help me change it will receive a free copy of my latest book in paperback. :)

Win YOU the book by CAROLINE KEPNES

OPEN TO AUSTRALIAN RESIDENTS

WIN 1 OF 5 COPIES OF

YOU by Caroline Kepnes


To celebrate the release of my favourite book this year, the awesome people at Simon & Schuster Australia have given me 5 of these little babies to give away.
If you want to know why I love this book so much, check out my five star review: CLICK HERE
or at The Mel & May Podcast where we talk writing weirdos with Caroline Kepnes herself.
 Simply fill in your details below the book blurb to win
Competition closes Midnight WA Time Sunday 22nd October
Winners will be notified by email with 72 hoursThe Blurb on You by Caroline Kepnes 

Love hurts…

When aspiring writer Guinevere Beck strides into the East Village bookstore where Joe works, he’s instantly smitten. Beck is everything Joe has ever wanted: She’s gorgeous, tough, razor-smart, and as sexy as his wildest dreams.

Beck doesn’t know it yet, but she’s perfect for him, and soon she can’t resist her feelings for a guy who seems custom made for her. But there’s more to Joe than Beck realizes, and much more to Beck than her oh-so-perfect façade. Their mutual obsession quickly spirals into a whirlwind of deadly consequences . . .

A chilling account of unrelenting passion, Caroline Kepnes’s You is a perversely romantic thriller that’s more dangerously clever than any you’ve read before. - See more at: Simon & Schuster


Read my review of You and also listen to the Mel and May podcast interview with Caroline Kepnes. CLICK HERE

ALSO receive a FREE eBook (not YOU) when you join SIMON & SCHUSTER's mailing listSigning up for the Simon & Schuster mailing list is not an entry in our You by Caroline Kepnes competition (it's just getting you more cool stuff)Plus, receive updates on new releases, recommended reads and more from Simon & Schuster.
Free eBook available to NEW subscribers only. Offer redeemable at Bookshout.com. Code expires 12/31/14. CLICK HERE TO JOIN SIMON & SCHUSTER'S MAILING LIST

Loading...

Character whispering & what does Scarlett O'Hara and Hannibal Lecter have in common?

Here I am on a blog hop, following on from my talented Canadian writer friend, Jennifer Ellis. This is no ordinary blog hop, wonderful reader. In this one, we are focusing on characters, and who doesn’t love a good character? Thanks to Jennifer for tagging me. You must hop over and check out her blogpost; I loved Jennifer's thoughts on great characters.
I’m currently finishing off the third draft of my novel, Back Again, which started life in February as a short story of the same name. I blogged about writing what turned out to be a novelette of 13,000 words (55 pages) in only a week here, and I debunked the myth that finding time to write is difficult. 

This novel will debunk that myth even more. I wrote the novel in 4 weeks around the novelette—so really that is five weeks in total for a full novel.  If it had been a stand alone first draft, I think it would have been quicker. It turned out to be quite tricky to have a middle bit that I wanted to keep and was forced to work around. To be honest, that part filled me with fear in not really knowing how it would all come together like putting a jigsaw puzzle together without the picture.
The second draft took me three weeks, because (as usual) I added more words. I always do on my second draft, as I fill in details. So it grew by 18,000 words from the initial 62,000. At the same time, it gets a line edit it. This third draft will end up taking 18 days and add another 3,500 words to bring me out at around 85,000 (350 pages). 

So that’s 10 ½ weeks to have a book reasonably polished and ready to go to the structural editor.  In total, with the final edits, I estimate it will be about 12 weeks to have written and edited (once the edits come back). It will have a structural edit and a copy edit with two different editors at http://www.ebookeditingpro.com/(my go to editors, love them). Publication should be sometime in September. I started the first draft on the 19th May.
Having lived in the Back Againworld now for almost three months, of course, I want to talk about my protagonist. So first of all, here is the blurb on Back Again to set the scene.


BACK AGAINTag line: Between life and death, lies fate.  Is there any greater nightmare than living through the death of your child?     Reliving it again and again.A tragic accident takes Dawn’s only child right before her eyes. The following surreal days are filled with soul-destroying grief and moments she never wants to live again—until, inexplicably, she finds herself back again, living that day. It’s a second chance to save her son. But changing fate is not as simple as it first appears.    Time is not Dawn’s ally.
What is the name of your character? Is he/she fictional or a historic person?Dawn Graham is my fictional characters name, but she is, also, every mother. I’ve tried to make her as sympathetic and relatable as possible, so that readers can slip into her shoes and go on the journey with her no matter their age or where they live. It’s a harrowing journey, but in the end I think you will find the outcome enjoyable.
When and where is the story set?It’s set in present day, but I was careful to have my physical setting nameless. Just like Dawn, I wanted it to be anywhere in the world. The desire to save and protect your child from harm is a universal emotion. So this could be about any parent, anywhere.
What should we know about her?Dawn’s got a lot going on. She’s a single mother dealing with a divorce, and almost crippling feelings of insecurity. And who wouldn’t feel anxious? She’s lived her whole life at risk of suddenly losing big chunks of time, and to wake up somewhere strange with crazy memories that she doesn’t understand.
She’s not perfect. She also has to deal with questions of guilt, hatred and forgiveness.  However, she has more strength than she realizes. I put poor Dawn through the ringer. In the end, she really impressed me. 
What is the main conflict? What messes up her life?Dawn has two major conflicts in her life. 

First, when she was twelve, she has a ‘slip’ as she calls them, and ends up lost on a mountain. The ‘slip’ occurs after she finds her sister dead. But when she wakes up and is rescued, she discovers that she's been  lost in the wilderness (something she doesn’t remember), and that her sister hasn’t died at all. This was the beginning her time ‘slips’ that she can remember.  Her family and doctors believe she has an illness, so she grows up constantly looking over her shoulder and dealing with helicopter parents and far of what is to come.
Then Dawn’s ten-year-old son, Tommy, dies in a tragic car accident, and after enduring the anguish of the ten days that follow, she suddenly finds herself back again on the morning of the accident. When she tries to change what is going to happen, she discovers there is a huge problem standing in her way. 
Dawn endures the worst thing that can happen to anyone. In a matter of a moment, her life becomes the greatest nightmare imaginable.
What is the personal goal of the character?Dawn needs to find a way to circumvent the physics of the time slip. I didn’t want to write another one of those time travel stories where the person goes back and they can wander about changing things, their only worry creating a paradox. My character must save her son. So that is her only goal in the book. Along the way she does some soul searching, as did I through her eyes. Ultimately, though, it’s a science-fiction action thriller, with one focus only—a mother saving the life of her son.
Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it?It’s titled Back Again, and it will be out mid-to-late September. However, I’ve already published the 55 page novelette. So if you would like a taste of the Back Again world and what Dawn has found herself up against, you can read that.  The 350 page book is written around the novelette, but has a different ending that goes past the original’s conclusion. 

There is, also, backstory—but not boring backstory. There is action in the past, as well, and it was a pretty enjoyable writing time for me, learning more about Dawn and the antagonist, Kylie.  When I wrote the short story, I had no idea what big characters they were, although I could feel there was a lot in their past and future, and felt there might be a book in the story.
When I sent the original novelette off to my editors, both of them loved it. Then my structural editor wrote me a few days later urging me to write the book. Both she and my copy editor wanted to know more about the story.  I don’t think the novelette will be a spoiler for the book. You will get a feel for the world and the characters, but I think it will just whet your appetite.
What Makes Great Characters Characters are wonderful creatures. They’re magical people who alight upon your imagination and whisper stories to a writer. I’m one of those lucky writers who barely write their own stories. I come up with an idea for a story, sometimes just a scene, and I think, hmm, this might be interesting. Then, without much thought, a character turns up to tell the story, and I just go along for the ride, nudging here and there. 
Great characters become real. I dare anyone to not believe that Scarlett O’Hara from Gone With The Wind, Jason Bourne of The Bourne Identity or Harry Potter aren’t real. They feel real, don’t they? They live in your imagination long after you’ve closed the book. They have a life of their own beyond the pages.
I believe that this is because to those writers they also became real. I don’t know how that happens for a writer. For me, it happened suddenly one day while writing a short story Mitigating Circumstances (out in my Behind Dark Doors collection). Perhaps I’d written enough words that I was granted my character license, as if I’d proven that I could handle the job and take care of these people. It felt like lightening had struck, and I was no longer writing the story, but merely following along with the character. It was quite a thrill and I will never forget the feeling. In a way, when this happens, you become a character whisperer. If this hasn't happened to you, yet, trust me, keep writing, and it will come. I really believe that.
Great characters are those characters that you know and understand, the minute you’re first introduced to them. They have a familiarity that you recognize instantly. You may not like them—you wouldn’t want Hannibal Lecter over for dinner, but you sure do respect the creature Thomas Harris created. So a character doesn’t need to be sympathetic to be great; he just needs to do his job. That job is to play his role in telling a story.
Great characters aren’t made. They emerge from the writing of a story, slowly, surely, and demand to be heard. If you’re a lucky enough writer, and you listen carefully, sometimes you will find them on your page. When that happens, you will sit back and look at that prose and say, “Where the heck did you come from?” Then you’ll thank your lucky stars that they decided to pay a visit, because without great characters, what have you got? Just a bunch of sentences.
The next blog to visitNow to follow this blog hop, wing your way from Perth, Western Australia to the U.K. and spend some time with my good buddy, Kev Heritage  http://www.kevheritage.com  Kev has always got interesting things to say.
If you enjoyed these words, and feel compelled to thank me, you could always skip over to my author pages at Smashwords or  Amazon  and buy a copy of Back Again or one of my other books—it's less than the price of a coffee, wonderful reader. If you want to receive news on my stories and possibly receive some free, cool stuff like books and other goodies  subscribe to my newsletter.
Amazon USA:          Susan's Amazon USA Amazon UK:             Amazon UK Amazon Australia:    Amazon Australia Smashwords:            Smashwords Scribd:                       Scribd

Interview with author Steve Sailah

Welcome to Steve Sailah, author of the debut novel A Fatal Tide , who is currently embarking on a blog tour to promote the launch. I’m really honored to kick off the blog tour here at An Adventure in Words. I thought a great way to start Steve's tour would be to ask him a few quick questions to whet your appetite for the rest of the tour where you can read reviews and more information on Steve and A Fatal Tide. Thank you to the awesome people at Random House for supplying me with a copy of A Fatal Tide and for organizing Steve to visit here.
To follow the blog tour, click over to http://bookmusterdownunder.blogspot.com.au/ on the 22nd July, 2014 and enjoy some time there with Steve.
Now over to Steve Sailah to answer a few quick questions on his book and writing.
How does your work differ from others in its genre?
My work combines crime, mystery and war. I link my fictional plots to the actual movements of a particular Australian Light Horse unit during the Great War.
Why do you write what you do?
I write what I like to read, and I mostly enjoy historical fiction. I had a particular connection with the Anzacs of Gallipoli, having interviewed some of them for the ABC in 1980 and returned to the battlefield with the aging veterans in 1990. Fiction allows me to imagine the emotions, experiences and dilemmas of young men who fought that war in a way that is relevant to today’s reader.
What is your writing process?
I get my usual distractions out of the way first – reading the newspaper, listening to morning radio, household chores, going to the gym, etc. — before meditating for half an hour on the day ahead. Then I sit down to the laptop and write or research for five or six hours.
What are you currently working on?
A sequel, part romance-part thriller, that moves the surviving characters of A Fatal Tide from the evacuation of Gallipoli to investigating a murder in Egypt during the ongoing war with the Ottoman Empire.
Something you may not know about me?
I enjoy motorcycling and being dragged along by my border collie Felix.

Thank you to Steve for visiting with us. I hope you have enjoyed your stay. We look forward to your sequel to A Fatal Tide.  Don't forget everyone to skip over to http://bookmusterdownunder.blogspot.com.au/  to continue with the tour. 
BOOK INFO:
Release Date:                        1st August 2014Purchase in Australia:                QBD Bookstore & other good book storesPublisher’s Website Info:          Random House
THE BOOK BLURBA powerful novel set in Gallipoli, that's part war-story and part mystery. 'Amid Gallipoli's slaughter he hunted a murderer . . .'
It is 1915 and Thomas Clare rues the day he and his best friend Snow went to war to solve the murder of his father.
The only clues – a hidden wartime document and the imprint of an army boot on the victim's face – have led the pair from the safety of Queensland to the blood-soaked hills of Gallipoli.
Now not only are Thomas's enemies on every side – from the Turkish troops bearing down on the Anzac lines, to the cold-blooded killer in his own trench – but as far away as London and Berlin.
For, unbeknown to Thomas, the path to murder began thirteen years earlier in Africa with the execution of Breaker Morant - and a secret that could change the course of history.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Steve Sailah is a former ABC foreign correspondent in New Delhi and Washington and the recipient of two prestigious Walkley Awards. He was a friend to several Gallipoli veterans, and returned to the battlefields with a number of them on the 75th anniversary of the first ANZAC landing. His ABC documentary, Stories from Gallipoli, was republished in April 2013.

Getting into the Mind of a Killer

I've known Jane Isaac for several years now. She's one of my oldest (in length of time) twitter friends. You meet many people on social media, but some are keepers. Jane is one of them.  Two years ago I had the great pleasure of reading and reviewing her first novel, An Unfamiliar Murder.

So now that Jane's just launched the shiny new sequel "The Truth Will Out", I thought you would enjoy hearing from her. Jane has very kindly shared her insights into how to get into the mind of a killer. Something we'd prefer to do without becoming one ourselves. Thank you Jane and I wish you huge success with your latest book. One of these days I'm getting over to lovely 'ol England to share a pot of tea and a plate of scones with this gorgeous and talented writer.
  
We were also lucky enough to have Jane Isaac guest on the very first Mel and May Show Podcast.  What's a Mel and May Show you might ask?  Well, its a writing buddy of mine, Mel Hearse, and me asking probing questions of people we find interesting. Questions like "Why is it raining in Perth and not England?"  "Why didn't you steal that groovy coffee table from your agent?"

So you can read a guest post by Jane below and then hop over to Mel and May interview Jane Isaac podcast and have a listen, too.

Read on thriller writers. May your serial killers become more authentic with her advice.
A guest post by UK thriller author Jane Isaac As novelists, research forms the basis of what we do and this is particularly prevalent in my genre of crime fiction. There are characters, settings, plots and storylines to consider, in addition to police procedural research. The more accurate our work is, the more authentic and believable. This is especially the case with our characters: we need to research their back story, check the feasibility of the person we are creating, before we can make them appear real. When drawing up the main character in my crime series, DCI Helen Lavery, I spoke to police officers at all levels in the British force in order to build a character that was not only interesting and engaging, but also realistic in modern day policing. Unless you have access to prisons, work with criminals, or know any (and even if you’d want to), researching your antagonist can be problematic. For An Unfamiliar Murder, I resorted to reading endless case studies of true crime and watching documentaries about killers and their backgrounds to draw up my murderer’s profile. I’ve read crime fiction for years, yet I wasn’t prepared for the nightmares I experienced after reading real crime. For some reason it’s quite acceptable to be scared out of our wits by the product of another writer’s mind, but reality? That’s a whole new ball game. So, what makes a killer? One element to consider is their humanity. It seemed so easy when we were young – all the baddies were ugly, evil monsters. The reality is that even the worst people in this world have some redeeming features, e.g. apparently Hitler loved his dogs; it is said the Yorkshire Ripper was very charismatic and could walk into a room and make everyone feel special. Many of these people appear to function normally in society until they are caught. So, we need to create a character that is realistic. If we make them too bad they become unbelievable.Another element is motive. Statistics suggest that most people are killed by someone they know, someone close to them. What is their motive? Is it revenge, greed, lust, power, fear, jealousy, blackmail...?We also need to consider their background in an attempt to provide some kind of explanation as to what they’ve become. This is particularly notable with serial killers. What motivates them to kill? Why do they choose specific victims?Sometimes, even if we have considered all of the above, we need to seek assistance to confirm the validity of our work. The plot for my second book, The Truth Will Out, was more complex than the first and although I researched extensively, I still felt it necessary to have my killer’s back story checked by a clinical psychologist to ensure it was feasible.Much of what we research never makes it into the book. But if we get the back story right, it brings our characters alive on the page. And as a fiction writer, if we achieve that, we’ve met our goal.            ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jane Isaac was runner up, ‘Writers Bureau Writer of the Year 2013’. Her debut novel, An Unfamiliar Murder, introduced Detective Chief Inspector Helen Lavery and was nominated as best mystery in the 'eFestival of Words Best of the Independent eBook awards 2013.' The sequel, The Truth Will Out, was released by Legend Press on 1st April 2014.Jane Isaac lives with her husband, daughter and dog, Bollo, in rural Northamptonshire, UK.BOOK LINKS AMAZON COM  AMAZON UK  AMAZON AU WEBSITE www.janeisaac.co.ukBLOG http://www.janeisaac.co.uk/blog/TWITTER @janeisaacauthorFACEBOOK Jane Isaac AuthorPUBLISHER LINK Legend Press

Stephen King's Mr Mercedes is almost here...

Some readers have likened my books and stories to Stephen King. First up, wow! That is some compliment, and I'm always humbled followed by the idea they have my stories mixed up with another author's

Secondly, its no accident. I have grown up on Stephen King.
I'm old enough to have read Carrie in its first printing and seen the film when it released in the cinemas. I still credit Salem's Lot as  being the book that scared the heck out of me more than any other book. And I've read The Exorcist at thirteen! (Yes, I know I was weird and still am.)
When discussing authors of this genre (which I am not even sure what genre we're talking about. Is it really Horror? I call it dark thriller.), I say you only bought the other author's books, Dean Koontz, James Herbert, Peter Straub, Whitley Strieber, etc. to keep you going until the next Stephen King arrived on the shelves.
His short stories just captivated me, and they still do. When I first started writing, almost thirty years ago, I wanted to write short stories like his, with full characters that hinted of a life behind the story, and left you wondering what happened after (that's if the character survived). If not for him, I probably wouldn't have written so many short stories.
While I didn't love his follow up to The Shining, the pretty droll Doctor Sleep, I did adore 11/22/63. If you haven't read it, it's masterful. I never wanted it to end. The Dome was a fabulous read, too. So despite the hiccup of Doctor Sleep, I am eagerly awaiting Mr Mercedes. Something tells me this is going to be a fabulous book and back to the King that I love.
I write dark thrillers, and I'm proud that somewhere in my mind circulates the dozens of Stephen King stories that I have read and reread. Perhaps,if not for King I may have never traveled down the writing path.
His book, On Writing, is a must for writers. He says it all. Its pretty simple to write. You need to read a lot, write a lot, and, I will add, love your characters. For as dark and terrible are the minds of his characters, you can tell he loves them, along with every fault they possess. You can't write bad guys until you understand them, and when you do you can't help feel something for them.
Yes, he's wordy sometimes, and some of his subplots, that I call his "I digress" moments, go nowhere and probably aren't necessary to the plot. Yet they're mostly worth the journey.
So here's to Mr Mercedes out in June 2014. I can't wait. And here is the master himself describing where he got the idea for the book.
Do share in the comments who is your inspiration if you are a writer, or favourite author if you are a wonderful reader...



And for your further entertainment if you are a writer, here's the best advice anyone can give you on writing. In fact, its the big secret of writing. This makes me laugh every time I watch it.

HarperCollins launches direct-to-digital publishing list for new talent

Well, it had to happen. Publishers are now going direct to readers with their authors. Now, while all the self-published die-hards will say what's the point of them doing that when an author can basically self-publish themselves and keep all the money, I don't agree.  Some writers don't want to play around with self-publishing and the steep learning curve, and others like the idea of being accepted by a publisher. It gives them validation. I really get that.
So good on Harper Collins for first taking the step of having The Wednesday Post for submissions, and for then finding something to do with the manuscripts that they have discovered that they think are worth publishing.
Even though I'm a proud indie author, I know a lot of people behind the scenes in publishing, and after my recent visit to Random House offices I have great respect for what they do and how passionate they are about books.  I don't buy into this indies vs mainstream publishing war. Sure some people have probably had bad experiences, but there are a lot of people who have had great experiences with publishers. That is business. Just because the guy down the road's retail store doesn't turn a profit and closes down that doesn't mean mine, just up the road run by me with my skill and values, won't succeed.
So if you want to self-publish, go for it. Its great to have the control, but its a lot of learning and hard work. If you want to hunt down a publishing deal, go for it. It, too, is a lot of learning and hard work.  
What's your view on the indie vs traditional publishing route? I'd really love to hear from you.
For everyone who loves the craft, here is another opportunity...

 HarperCollins launches direct-to-digital publishing list for new talent
HarperCollins Australia has unveiled an exciting opportunity for unearthed writers with a new direct-to-digital publishing list. Harper Impulse ebooks are fun, fast-paced reads in all commercial genres from epic fantasy to erotica. The first tranche of titles will be released internationally on June 1.
The foundation authors include an ex police dog-handler, a mother of twin baby boys, a corporate trainer, a Lonely Planet writer and a university academic. Impulse Editor Kate Steinweg says, ‘it’s exciting to have a digital channel through which to introduce new talent we believe in. We’re looking for writers who know how to tell a grippingly good story, and have already found many wonderful authors through our newly launched manuscript portal, The Wednesday Post.’
HarperCollins Publishing Director Shona Martyn says ‘with the closure of many bricks-and-mortar bookstores, sadly it has become harder for publishers to launch new authors into print because of simple economies of scale.  Fortunately the ability to publish direct-to-digital means we can give even more authors opportunities to find their market. While some may eventually become print book authors too, the sales we are now seeing for ebooks in commercial and genre fiction mean that we can connect authors with readers fast and effectively.  We can also respond to reader demand and new publishing trends faster than we can in conventional publishing timelines.’
Impulse ebooks will be released on the first of each month through all major e-retailers worldwide. Watch for them on the ebook bestseller lists!
  

Win The Place at Whitton by Thomas Keneally

To celebrate Thomas Keneally's 50 Years as a published author


Australian publishing houses have banded together with ABC Events to host a gala dinner to celebrate Tom Keneally’s 50 years as a published author. 
Speakers include Steven Spielberg, Richard Flanagan, Bryan Brown, Kathy Lette and others.  We’d love to tell you about the other speakers who will be paying tributes to Tom at the event or via video but we don’t want to ruin the surprise for him!   
ABC Radio’s Richard Glover will be the Master of Ceremonies on the night.
The dinner will be held on Wednesday June 11 at 6.30 pm at the Westin Hotel in Pitt Street. Bookings can be made at   www.abcshop.com.au/tom  
or by calling 1300 360 111.


As well, to co-incide with the anniversary, Random House Australia is re-issuing  The Place at Whitton , Tom Keneally’s first book.
Simply fill in your details below for your chance to win!
An Adventure in Words together with Random House Australia are offering you the chance to WIN one of two copies of Thomas Keneally's book  The Place at Whitton .
If you are on twitter and enter below and, also, share the tweet below then you will also win The Street Sweeper by Elliot Perlman. Total Prize package if you tweet $49.98. Total prize package if you just enter below $29.99.
Tweet this for extra prize

#Australia Win Thomas Keneally's The Place at Whitton & The Street Sweeper-Elliot Perlman. ENTER here http://buff.ly/1oI4lU4 & retweet 
The Blurb on The Place at Whitton by Thomas Keneally
Tom Keneally's first novel, The Place at Whitton, a psychological mystery, was published after his time in a seminary. Fifty years on, this anniversary edition is being released with a new author's note about the novel and fifty years of writing.


The Blurb on The Street Sweeper by Elliot PerlmanEmerging out of the depths of his own personal history, Adam sees, in a promising research topic suggested by an American World War II veteran, the beginnings of something that might just save him professionally and perhaps even personally. As these two men try to survive in early twenty-first-century New York, history comes to life in ways neither of them could have foreseen. Epic in scope, this is a remarkable feat of storytelling.

Competition closes Midnight WA Time Sunday 15th JuneWinners will be notified by email with 72 hours
Loading...

Why clones shouldn’t be used in customer service call centres

Or
The BUPA CLONE WARS


Dear wonderful reader, who normally expects writerly news and information here, I endured the misfortune of having nearly four hours of my writing time taken by a company delivering extraordinarily bad service. So I thought I would take the opportunity to write an amusing take on it, so that the time wasn’t entirely wasted.
Dear BUPA Management,
In your blurb on your site, you claim:
“We don’t make claims. We pay them.When you make a claim on your health cover, it shouldn't be hard to get it paid.”
It “shouldn’t be hard,” but it’s very hard; its almost impossible. Also at great variance to what you claim is your concept of “urgent escalation.” So I’m going to help you out here, as customer service is near and dear to my heart, and I’m going to take more of my valuable writing time to share my story with you and my friends and readers.
Get yourself a coffee. This is a long read, but you will find it a valuable experience in helping you understand what is going wrong for you in your service department. The oft repeated catch phrase by your customer service people (and I call them that very loosely) of “I’m trying to understand what has happened here,” makes me wonder if I have been speaking to people at all. I wonder if perhaps your call centre is staffed by clones, whose role is to frustrate your customers so that they give up and go away, thus lessening the wait time. 
Let me enlighten you as to what has happened, so that you don’t have to repeat that phrase when it comes to my complaint ever again, and you can help your clones “understand."
We recently changed over to you from a health fund with which we’ve had a very good experience for ten years. Our reason for moving was that you promised there would be savings for us (yes there were) and that we would receive valued customer service as we were coming via a corporate plan through a multinational billion-dollar company for whom my husband works.
 I’m afraid you misrepresented your dedication to service, as what I received would be the equivalent of what I now call “The Clone Wars.”
First up, when I tried to make a simple claim for optical for two invoices for glasses for my son and myself, your online service denied it because of some problem with a clearance certificate from the previous provider. No biggie. We got the certificate for you. Would have been nice if you chased it up, or told us we needed to chase it up. But, still it was one small problem, which I’ve since found created a whole other BIG problem.
Weeks later, when said certificate finally was sent to you and we did claim online, we were paid short of the amount expected and one of the claims was denied for some reason, which necessitated my call to you.
“Ah yes,” says the customer service operator (let me call them Clone 1), “it looks like the system has registered it as a duplicate claim because of the first rejected claim. So I will escalate this as an urgent matter to the Claims Department, and they will get back to you within 48 hours.”
“Hmm,” he adds, “I don’t know why this has happened. I’d like to understand why this has happened. Its an interesting one.” (This is an important line because every one of your Customer Service People Clones said this line. By the fifth clone person, I wanted to reach through the line and rip out their brain chips or whatever you plug into them to have them repeat the same damn thing to everything.
Sorry, I digress... Clone 1 goes on to request that I please email a copy of the invoices to assist the Claims Department in fixing it. This I did immediately on the 29th April.
Then I wait. In fact, I gave you a whole week to reply. Considering Clone 1 had labeled my claim urgent and escalated it and assured me someone would get back to me within forty-eight hours, quite frankly I was worried. I thought I’d better call you again. You see, I suddenly realised that I hadn’t thought to ask what your version of “urgent” actually was, since your version of “urgent” and mine was clearly different. Clone 1 did say “48 hours,” but I didn’t think to ask if you meant consecutive hours or you were spreading them out over a few weeks.
This brings me to yesterday’s phone call at around 4.30pm, Perth time, seven days after my Clone 1 phone call. The time is important, and I will get to that in a minute. The 2nd Customer Service Clone (Clone 2), a young man who had a just as cheery and trying-to-seem-helpful-whilst-offering-no-help personality as Clone 1, again repeated your company line after I explained my troubles over a simple claim. 
He kept me on the line, while he read all the notes and said. “Hmm. Now I’m trying to understand what has happened here.”

Then he did some calculations, which I think he may have pulled out of his hat or some other place where you keep them there, and told me that the wrong amount had been paid and it should be a few dollars more. Not the full amount of refund like you were meant to pay me, though. Then he repeated. “Hmm, now I’m trying to understand what’s happened here.” He just kept saying that phrase, as if his chip was malfunctioning, poor guy.
By then, I was trying to understand why he kept saying that. I truly wondered if I stopped him there, and pressed number 3 on my dial pad and then hit #, if I would get some other answer. That the number 1 I had pressed for customer service had actually got me through to the Automated Clone Department. I really needed a human that would simply understand I was a customer who just wanted some… service from the Customer SERVICE Department.
He couldn’t help me. His department couldn’t help me. Clone 2 offered to escalate it as urgent. He didn’t realize that I understood that BUPA’s version of urgent, was different to mine. And BUPA I don’t like your version. It kind of sucks really, and its so far from good customer service that… 

I digress, sorry, I get worked up…

I worked out all by myself and without reading your brochures that your version of service and urgent are different to mine, and I did this while waiting for you to call back, and waiting on your line, and waiting for your clones to “try to understand what has happened here.”
So I declined Clone 2’s non-helpful offer, and asked to speak to the person above him—maybe someone higher up on the Clone ladder. Nothing against clones here. I like clones, but they shouldn’t work in customer service, unless they’re cloned from the very best customer service clones. These clearly were not.
Then came the next surprise, even by clone standard it was low. I had called at the wrong time, according to Clone 2. You see, we West Australians are two hours behind the East Coast, so it was “after hours” where he was situated in Clone Land. Therefore there were no Clone Managers he could put me through to.
Wow. A big company like you, Australia-wide (world-wide, in fact), who boasts that 3.7 million Australians have entrusted their health insurance with you, that isn’t set up to deal with the two-hour time difference. Management clones working an extra two hours or placed on a 2 hour later shift surely don’t cost that much more than your average Customer Service Clones. We’re only talking two hours, people! 
Here’s a free tip, too. West Australians don’t like to be told they’re calling out of normal business hours. It’s kind of insulting when you, BUPA, know that you have West Australian customers. I mean you don’t give us a discount in our premiums because we don’t get the full service with top class management clones after 3pm.
By this stage, you can understand, I was a little frustrated. This was my 2ndphone call, a week after the first, plus I’d sent an email and the whole clearance certificate debacle was now playing on my mind. Did I mention that I received an acknowledgement of my email, three whole days after my email arrived with you, informing me that someone would get back to me within 48 to 72 hours? That’s horrendously slow. Surely Email Handling Clones are cheaper than the Customer Service Clones. They, at least, don’t have to talk.
I said to this one, Clone 3, who was still muttering, “I’m trying to understand what’s happened here,” that I expected someone to call me back the next day, and that was my version of urgent. Clone 3 was now sounding a touch harassed. Perhaps something went wrong in the cloning process, but he wasn't dealing well with an unhappy customer who’d been treated poorly. His final words that he thought were comforting for me, but were not: He would do the best he could and escalate it to “Urgent.”
Isn’t that what the other clone did? Huh?
Next day… guess what? No phone call. I wanted to finalise it. These clones were getting under my skin. I decided to call again, because I didn’t believe they would call me back as they’d promised. Remember I didn’t understand the “urgent” system. It could be years and I hate loose ends.
Ah, I get another Customer Service Clone, Clone 4, who wants to… you guessed it “understand what has happened here.” 
Clone 4 also couldn’t tell me whether or not BUPA would be paying my claim any time soon. They had to… guess what? Escalate it to “urgent.”
How many urgent levels do you have? I think, in my book, I was on Urgent Level 5 by this stage (the next one is code red where my head explodes and we go to Defcon 5 where submarines all over the planet "Dive"). But none of the clones seemed prepared to reveal what urgent level I needed to be on in order to get my simple claim paid. We’re talking $358 here. Did I mention that?
Here’s how the customer service clone performed just for your feedback, because I think you won’t want to replicate this one. The conversation is abbreviated, too; it went on for fifteen minutes before this excerpt.
Me: It seems to me the problem lies with the claims department. Can you put me through to the Claims Department and I'll sort it out with them.
Clone 4:   I can't put you through to the Claims Department. They don't take calls.
Me:  Why not?
Clone 4:  They just do claims. They don't talk to customers.
Me:  How do I get to communicate with them?
Clone 4:  Through me. I escalate it to "Urgent" (oh brother, I thought, not the "urgent" merry-go-round again)
Me:   Can you please put me through to a manager above you, because I’m not getting off the phone until someone tells me they’ve processed the claim and are paying me. I’ve wasted a lot of time on this over nothing.
Clone 4: Oh, I don’t think you’ve wasted time over nothing. It’s not because of nothing.
Me:     That’s it. Put me through to a manager.
Clone 4:        Can I help you with something?
Me:     No, you can’t. It’s not working for me with you. I want to speak to someone above you. (Head clone or something, I thought. I know it’s not polite to call them clones to their faces.)
Clone 4:        But why? What’s it about?
Me:     My claim!!!! (I wanted to say: You need something genetically modified, I think, like your brain.)
Clone 4:        But what exactly, so I can tell them?
Me:     For God’s sake. Just tell them it’s about bad customer service (and I think to myself, annoying clones)
Clone 4:        What customer service?
Me:     Exactly.  And the nothing comment. I didn’t like your "nothing" comment. (I’m almost speechless, stuttering.)
Clone 4:        I can transfer you to the Customer Relations Department and inform them that its about bad service. The wait is 50 minutes!!! (Yep you read that right 50 minutes!!!)
BUPA, do you really need to transfer me to your Customer Relations Department to complain about your service so that you understand that its bad service to tell someone that 50 minutes is an okay wait time? Holy hell. Who runs this place? The Evil Competition Clones who are going to destroy the BUPA business from the inside?
By this time, I’ve been on the phone for 1 hour and 10 minutes. I waited another ten minutes, then hung up and called back. I figured (while I was waiting and listening to your message about how much you value your customers) that Clone 4 had put me on perpetual hold. I started to think that Clone 4 might be worried that I would complain about them, then your Clone Department would put them back in the tank and reuse their body cells to create another clone. Clone 4 forgot that you record their calls for customer service training, so they were fried meat anyway.


I call back… next Customer Service Clone, Clone 5, and I have a similar conversation. “Hmm," she says, "let me read through the notes. Let me see if I can understand what has happened.”
Me:     I just want you to put me through to the Customer Relations person who can help me. I know you can’t help me because none of you (clones) in Customer Service (yes they’re two different departments) have been able to help so far. (I think: you don’t have the magic ring, or wand or power or whatever it is you need to just give me my small amount of claim money.)
Clone 5:   I will transfer you, but, hmm, I’m just trying to understand what’s happened here.”
Me:     Hmmm. I don’t care what you are trying to understand. I’ve been on the phone for almost two hours. If you want to understand it, do it on your own time.
Clone 5:         I’ll put you through to Customer Relations, but the wait time is 30 minutes.
Me:     Yes, why don’t I wait. I’m getting good at waiting on your line. And while I’m waiting I’ll be tweeting to my 42,000 followers and all my Facebook friends about my wait, and about you, and how you’ve wasted my time over a nothing claim. So, do let whoever is in charge know that’s what’s happening while I’m waiting.
I waited. Listened again to how good you think you are to your customers on your recorded message and how much you love your customers and how you invest all your profits back for the members (and attempting to improve your cloning techniques). It gets old. I can repeat the message verbatim.
Then I thought: this Clone 5 could be pulling the same trick as Clone 4 to avoid going back in the dissolving tubs. So I hung up and called back again. Surely I could find the one clone who might understand that my call was possibly the one call that needed to jump the queue or have a much higher-up-on-the-corporate-ladder-clone deal with it. I just needed one that could deal with this now very, very frustrated customer.  You must train one of them for that. Surely one…
I hung up and tried again. Clone 6 did the trick.
Clone 6:        Do you want to tell me what’s happened?
Me:     No, I think its best for you and for me if you just put me through to the Customer Relations Department. You don’t need to understand what has happened. You just need to hit a button and put me through to Customer Relations. The notes are there. They keep telling me they’re making notes. (I’m thinking: Is there not a bloody flashing banner over my account number now, above the damn notes so you don’t keep asking What has happened?)
Aside Note to BUPA on Clone 6: This one is a good one to clone again. If you are listening back through the phone calls that are recorded in order to “improve your customer service experience,” (would take quite a bit to improve by the way) please note that she did a good job and listened to me and put me through. She didn’t mutter “I need to understand what’s happened here.” Good clone.
Ten minutes later, after Clone 6 puts me through to the Customer Relations Department. (You can’t call this Department directly by the way. The clones have to put you through.) Where was I? Oh yes, ten minutes after Clone 6 puts me through…
… only ten, not fifty, not thirty... I’m on to a top level clone in customer relations who actually suggested that she familiarise herself with the file off-phone and then call me back in…  wait for it... twenty minutes. Ta-da!!! Heck twenty minutes! So they can do it. A miracle of service. 
Me:     Why don’t the others (clones) offer to call me back in twenty minutes?
Customer Relations Clone 1:  They aren’t able to make phone calls out. We’re the only ones who can do that. Anything that they can’t handle, they escalate to us. We can’t call people back immediately. Normally, we’re only allocated a window of time when we don’t take phone calls and we can then makephone calls. That is when we can call customers back. (I think: What??? This is clone-speak. Only clones understand this logic.)
Me:     But they escalated it to you a week ago, and that didn’t work.
Customer Relations Clone 1:      Yes, something has gone wrong. We’re prepared to offer you one month’s premium as compensation for your trouble. (I’d asked for the compensation from Clone 3, but that one told me that BUPA doesn’t give compensation (obviously this was above their clone pay-grade.)
Customer Relations Clone 1 calls me back within thirty minutes. Yes, they will pay me my claim money on Monday. She’s sorted it out and fixed all the things that had gone wrong to cause the claims not to be paid. 
Me:     Why did it have to come to this?
Customer Relations Clone 1:     We know we are having problems with customer service at the moment, and trying really, really hard to fix it.
You think?
I suggest you find the defective clone and stop cloning them. That would be an easy fix. I'll even tell you where to find them. They're somewhere up the management food chain. They work out how to save money by cutting staff and not properly training the ones that are left. "Shhh," they say, "the customers will barely notice. They're used to this kind of service. It's crap everywhere anyway. Why should we be different?"

The final insult must surely be that, after all this, I go to my Facebook page to see that BUPA has actually responded to my complaint that I posted on their FB page while I waited for the clones to help me.
I'd also tweeted the events to my followers and tagged @BupaAustralia in on the multiple tweets and retweets, and received no acknowledgement. I’d written all over their Facebook page, too.
The BUPA Facebook Page Clone left me a message on Facebook and also asked me to DM her in future if I needed any help. I’m sure that would be so good for you, BUPA, if your customers didn’t make their complaints public, but how is that fair to other potential customers not to see the complaints? And if the Facebook Page Clone can solve all my problems with a quick DM, then why don't they answer the phones or why don't we DM all our complaints instead of using the phone?
Here's my recommendations BUPA

BUPA, if you want to advertise that customers are important, then don’t just pay it  lip service.
If you are going to use clones, then programme them properly.
If you are going to have social media accounts, then check them more than once a day, so that you can offer assistance before tweets like mine are retweeted to hundreds of thousands of people. You do not know now how many people changed their mind about moving to you because of what happened to me today. Or how many in the future, now that I’ve posted this on my blog. One of my friends has genuinely reversed her decision to move over to you because of this. She will tell others.
Finally, when a customer calls you and tells you they’re having a bad experience, don’t EVER say to them, “Now let me try and understand this,” and “We’re escalating this to urgent, and we’ll call you back in the next 48 hours.” Those two phrases don’t go together. They’re oxymoronic.
BUPA, please know, also, that this may cost you more money thanks to my frustration and angst levels having risen to URGENT levels today, I may have a heart operation claim coming through to you shortly. So how economic are your customer service clones now?
No more clones please, my heart can’t take it.
#BUPASERVICEFAIL

Rewards from Reviewing!

I'm a writer, first and foremost, before anything else to do with publishing. However these days you have to be more than a writer in a corner. A writer is also a marketer and business person, whether they take the self-publishing route or are published through a publishing house.
One of the things I love most about social media is connecting with readers and fellow bloggers. My great fortune through reviewing is to e-meet publicists from all the big five publishing houses and many others houses, large and small, as well as many of the authors I interview or whose books I review. Reviewing, I believe, is a worthwhile venture as not only have I learned a tremendous amount about the publishing industry, but I think its good karma to help other authors. You never know what lies in your future.
Sometimes though it can be frustrating because blogging, tweeting and everything else associated with the business side of my writing can chew into my creative time, and the writing is the reason I'm here. It's my greatest joy after my family. 
But there are moments when putting yourself out for others brings extra reward. A few weeks ago that reward arrived in the form of an email from the lovely Kirsty, one of Random House's publicists.
"Would I like to come to the Penguin Random House Australia's inaugural National Book Bloggers Forum?" 
After the happy dance and the jumping for joy, I managed to breathlessly type my acceptance. So wonderful readers I shall be winging all the way from Perth over to Sydney on Monday 19th May to attend the conference on the 20th.  Stay tuned I will be tweeting, facebooking and blogging live from Sydney and the conference on #NBBF14.

Here's the official publicity release from Penguin Random House.



Penguin Random House Australia announces inaugural
National Book Bloggers Forum

Penguin Random House Australia has just announced the inaugural National Book Bloggers Forum – a first-of-its-kind conference being held specifically for book bloggers in Sydney on Tuesday May 20.
Random House Australia Marketing and Publicity Director, Brett Osmond, said the free, one-day forum has been developed to foster a closer working relationship with the growing book blogging community.
“In this constantly-evolving media landscape, readers now get their information from many different platforms and as part of this we recognise that blogs are an increasingly important source of information and entertainment,” Mr Osmond said.
“The National Book Bloggers Forum will be a collaboration between the growing book blogging community and Penguin Random House – we want to share news about our books and authors with leading bloggers and equally want to hear what bloggers would like to see from us too.”
The conference, coinciding with the opening day of the Sydney Writers Festival, will feature surprise guest authors, insights from publishers and sessions on blog promotion, as well as an open forum in the afternoon for bloggers to discuss whatever they see fit.
Winner of the 2013 Best Australian Blog Competition and Random House Australia author Sneh Roy is just one of the day’s guest speakers.
“This conference is a fantastic opportunity for bloggers to hear from publishing insiders as well as learn some best-practice tips on blogging,” said Ms Roy, author of the Tasty Express cookbook and the Cook Republic blog.
“I’m thrilled to be a part of the first-ever National Book Bloggers Forum and I cannot wait to share my own blog-to-book journey with other Australian bloggers.”
Bloggers not able to attend the conference can keep up with the conversation on Twitter by using the #NBBF14 hashtag or following @RandomHouseAU. The full program for the forum will be announced in coming weeks.

About Penguin Random House Australia
Penguin Random House is the world’s first truly global trade book publisher. It was formed on 1 July 2013, upon the completion of an agreement between Bertelsmann and Pearson to merge their respective trade publishing companies, Random House and Penguin, with the parent company, owning 53% and 47% respectively. Penguin Random House employs more than 10,000 people globally across almost 250 editorially and creatively independent imprints and publishing houses that collectively publish more than 15,000 new titles annually. Its publishing lists include more than 70 Nobel Prize laureates and hundreds of the world’s most widely read authors.