Kelly Crigger's Blog - Posts Tagged "respect"
Respect My Authority!
A curmudgeon’s bitch trigger is quicker than an actor’s relapse, so what’s the determining factor between unleashing the wrath and bottling it up to release it on some other poor sap? Whether or not you respect the target.
One day you’re cruising through the office and see Dave not wearing a tie despite your boss insisting that everyone wears a tie every day. Before erupting on Dave, ask yourself a few questions: Is Dave a good guy who works hard, doesn’t complain, and distills his own bourbon? Did Dave strike out on his own to start a business and put everything into it only to have it fail because of something out of his control? Did he put his life on the line to stop a gang attack on a helpless old lady or carry a fallen comrade over miles of enemy desert to safety?
Then there’s a new variable in the equation: respect. Us curmudgeons can stomach a slight apparel indiscretion committed by a respectable person and would probably let this go. On the other hand, is Dave a lazy kiss ass who falls asleep on the job and claims someone else’s work as his own when he finally wakes up? The curmudgeon needs a volunteer for waterboarding training and Dave is it.
Respect can’t be bought or forced, but that doesn’t stop the entertainment industry from trying to purchase yours. The media likes to build respect and/or an emotional connection by sensationalizing a backstory and to be honest it gets old.
Take any televised talent show like The X Factor or American Idol. The contestants with great voices are truly talented: but the ones with mediocre voices who have overcome some sort of adversity in their lives get so much more respect from the fans, because the editors spend a lot of time building up their connection to the audience through sympathy.
A terminally ill kid in San Francisco wants to dress up like Batman and get a key to the city from the mayor and the entire city shows up, but if I put in a request for myself maybe my favorite delivery boy from Papa John’s would be there, but that’s it. Why? I’m healthy. I’m normal. I don’t have anything in my life that would make you empathize or respect me. That’s just the way it is in American entertainment.
Maybe this isn’t a bad thing though. Maybe the internet has brought so many “you won’t believe what this kid went through” stories that it’s become common and we’ve stopped singling out people for being born with a disability or surviving a traumatic event. Maybe that’s helping us accept everyone no matter what or who they are. Maybe this shows that people actually have compassion for those who have overcome an adversity more so than those who haven’t.
But maybe it’s also making us a culture where there’s just no respect in being healthy or free of massive life-altering obstacles. I’ve worked my ass off to afford my family a stable, worry free life, but now I think my kids are fucked because of it. Children like mine who are raised in a healthy, happy, stable home don’t have a great story of triumph to tell and will be put in the back of the respect line because of it. Should I get divorced so they have a reason to go to therapy or have something to cry about at parties?
The media floods us with these feel good stories of resilient people who beat the odds so much that I want to drop my kids off in the woods a hundred miles from home and say “find your way back” so they have some sappy story to cry about. But I’d probably be arrested for child endangerment and I ain’t going back to prison, Lieutenant Hanna.
Curmudgeonism: A Surly Man's Guide to Midlife
One day you’re cruising through the office and see Dave not wearing a tie despite your boss insisting that everyone wears a tie every day. Before erupting on Dave, ask yourself a few questions: Is Dave a good guy who works hard, doesn’t complain, and distills his own bourbon? Did Dave strike out on his own to start a business and put everything into it only to have it fail because of something out of his control? Did he put his life on the line to stop a gang attack on a helpless old lady or carry a fallen comrade over miles of enemy desert to safety?
Then there’s a new variable in the equation: respect. Us curmudgeons can stomach a slight apparel indiscretion committed by a respectable person and would probably let this go. On the other hand, is Dave a lazy kiss ass who falls asleep on the job and claims someone else’s work as his own when he finally wakes up? The curmudgeon needs a volunteer for waterboarding training and Dave is it.
Respect can’t be bought or forced, but that doesn’t stop the entertainment industry from trying to purchase yours. The media likes to build respect and/or an emotional connection by sensationalizing a backstory and to be honest it gets old.
Take any televised talent show like The X Factor or American Idol. The contestants with great voices are truly talented: but the ones with mediocre voices who have overcome some sort of adversity in their lives get so much more respect from the fans, because the editors spend a lot of time building up their connection to the audience through sympathy.
A terminally ill kid in San Francisco wants to dress up like Batman and get a key to the city from the mayor and the entire city shows up, but if I put in a request for myself maybe my favorite delivery boy from Papa John’s would be there, but that’s it. Why? I’m healthy. I’m normal. I don’t have anything in my life that would make you empathize or respect me. That’s just the way it is in American entertainment.
Maybe this isn’t a bad thing though. Maybe the internet has brought so many “you won’t believe what this kid went through” stories that it’s become common and we’ve stopped singling out people for being born with a disability or surviving a traumatic event. Maybe that’s helping us accept everyone no matter what or who they are. Maybe this shows that people actually have compassion for those who have overcome an adversity more so than those who haven’t.
But maybe it’s also making us a culture where there’s just no respect in being healthy or free of massive life-altering obstacles. I’ve worked my ass off to afford my family a stable, worry free life, but now I think my kids are fucked because of it. Children like mine who are raised in a healthy, happy, stable home don’t have a great story of triumph to tell and will be put in the back of the respect line because of it. Should I get divorced so they have a reason to go to therapy or have something to cry about at parties?
The media floods us with these feel good stories of resilient people who beat the odds so much that I want to drop my kids off in the woods a hundred miles from home and say “find your way back” so they have some sappy story to cry about. But I’d probably be arrested for child endangerment and I ain’t going back to prison, Lieutenant Hanna.
Curmudgeonism: A Surly Man's Guide to Midlife
