Kelly Crigger's Blog - Posts Tagged "perspective"
Get Some Perspective
There’s little in life more irritating than someone who doesn’t have a proper perspective on life. Those fragile Pollyanna’s of emotion that get shaken by the most innocuous of things (like someone who pisses their pants over a simple confrontation with a co-worker) are sickening. What they think is significant, isn’t. There is a simple litmus test for perspective. When you think you’re getting wrapped around the axle over something that does or doesn’t matter, ask yourself six questions:
-Is anyone shooting at you?
-Do you have a terminal illness?
-Are you hopelessly addicted to anything?
-Are you homeless?
-Are you out of clean water?
-Are you starving?
If you can honestly answer no to all six questions then your life is better than 50% of the world. Suck it up and drive on. Quit your whining. It doesn’t make any sense to worry over the little things when there are so many big, life-threatening ones that demand our attention and life energy.
Curmudgeons like me have a fundamental belief that other people’s opinions are flawed or just don’t matter. You disapprove of me? Good for you. You’re just another douchebag who’s about as valuable as a condom machine in the Vatican. This isn’t high school where the quarterback can laugh at a nerd and have all his sycophant sheep haze him into social damnation. This is real life and your opinions of us mean nothing, which has freed us up to say the things we want to. Curmudgeons accept this as a general truth of life and use it as a basis for what many believe is a generally bad temperament. But in reality it means we don’t care about the people who don’t matter, which is also the law of 25%.
The Law of 25% says one fourth of any audience will disagree with you no matter how genius or virtuous you are. Don’t worry about them. Expect it and pay them no attention. Some people will reconsider their position if one single person disagrees with them. They haven’t learned to stand their ground and haven’t taken a moment in the shower to run a hand across his or her back and feel that thing called a spine. There will always be doubters but the true curmudgeon needs at least 25% dissonance before even thinking about changing his mind.
Example:
A man is watching a rugby game with 8 buddies and says, “that was a high tackle, he should be penalized” and 1-2 of them disagree (25% or less even by West Virginia math). At this point it’s generally accepted that he is correct and he needs not worry about the dissenting opinions. However, if 3-4 disagree (up to 50%) then he should keep an open mind on the situation. If 5-6 disagree then he should seriously reconsider his position and if 7-8 disagree he’s drunk.
A related theory is that 25% of the people we meet in life think we’re worthless and weak and nothing we do will change that perception. Some people make flash judgments that last forever. If you don’t impress them in the first minute of meeting then you’re screwed forever. They will write you off as less valuable than a screen door on a submarine and nothing you do will ever engender a full recovery. Along those same lines, there are some people who are easily impressed and will think you’re absolutely awesome no matter what even after 15 seconds of knowing them. Forget both types. Nothing you say or do will change their position and therefore they don’t matter. They are set in their opinions so it makes no sense to waste your time to try to change them. Keep a realistic perspective and move on. There are billions of people in this world so getting upset about one person’s opinion about you is insane.
Part of keeping a sound perspective on life is not being enamored with people who think they’re changing the world but aren’t. I’m talking about entertainers. Entertainers are just that…entertainers. Actors, musicians, and (to a lesser extent) athletes and authors are here for one purpose only: to entertain us.
There’s nothing wrong with dedicating your life to the arts and perfecting your craft and in some cases celebrities use their status for good and we applaud them for that. But they’re not to be worshipped or blindly followed as leaders or world changers. They’re not policymakers, scientists, doctors, pioneers, astronauts, generals, law enforcement, or have any real impact on anything other than providing us with a momentary escape from life. Without our dollars, they’d be on a subway street corner playing for handouts to spend on coffee to get the energy jolt they need to get up and do it again. Their commitment to their profession is laudable, but if a zombie apocalypse suddenly happened today they’d be bait.
A famous actress once said, “It’s only through movies that we learn who we are.” Nothing could be more hornswaggle bullshit. It’s through love, loss, pain, joy, birth, death, war, peace, adversity, embarrassment, failure, success, pushing your boundaries, honing your abilities, getting knocked down and getting back up again and telling the world, ‘you hit like a bitch’ that we learn who we are. An occasional motion picture will capture some of that experience, but it’s only a tiny fraction of the process of self-discovery. That’s life’s job, not Hollywood’s.
While we’re talking about entertainers, it’s a hard sell to feel an emotional outpouring for one (or anyone successful for that matter) when they succumb to drug addiction or other vice. These are people who actively seek a life that’s void of personal privacy and under constant scrutiny with easy access to a buffet of dangerous addictions run by ambitious and unscrupulous businessmen who give two fucks about their personal well being. When you’re paid millions of dollars to act on a stage or play a game and throw it all away for something so obscure that you should have seen coming, you’re just weak. Get some perspective and realize how good you have it.
Curmudgeonism: A Surly Man's Guide to Midlife
-Is anyone shooting at you?
-Do you have a terminal illness?
-Are you hopelessly addicted to anything?
-Are you homeless?
-Are you out of clean water?
-Are you starving?
If you can honestly answer no to all six questions then your life is better than 50% of the world. Suck it up and drive on. Quit your whining. It doesn’t make any sense to worry over the little things when there are so many big, life-threatening ones that demand our attention and life energy.
Curmudgeons like me have a fundamental belief that other people’s opinions are flawed or just don’t matter. You disapprove of me? Good for you. You’re just another douchebag who’s about as valuable as a condom machine in the Vatican. This isn’t high school where the quarterback can laugh at a nerd and have all his sycophant sheep haze him into social damnation. This is real life and your opinions of us mean nothing, which has freed us up to say the things we want to. Curmudgeons accept this as a general truth of life and use it as a basis for what many believe is a generally bad temperament. But in reality it means we don’t care about the people who don’t matter, which is also the law of 25%.
The Law of 25% says one fourth of any audience will disagree with you no matter how genius or virtuous you are. Don’t worry about them. Expect it and pay them no attention. Some people will reconsider their position if one single person disagrees with them. They haven’t learned to stand their ground and haven’t taken a moment in the shower to run a hand across his or her back and feel that thing called a spine. There will always be doubters but the true curmudgeon needs at least 25% dissonance before even thinking about changing his mind.
Example:
A man is watching a rugby game with 8 buddies and says, “that was a high tackle, he should be penalized” and 1-2 of them disagree (25% or less even by West Virginia math). At this point it’s generally accepted that he is correct and he needs not worry about the dissenting opinions. However, if 3-4 disagree (up to 50%) then he should keep an open mind on the situation. If 5-6 disagree then he should seriously reconsider his position and if 7-8 disagree he’s drunk.
A related theory is that 25% of the people we meet in life think we’re worthless and weak and nothing we do will change that perception. Some people make flash judgments that last forever. If you don’t impress them in the first minute of meeting then you’re screwed forever. They will write you off as less valuable than a screen door on a submarine and nothing you do will ever engender a full recovery. Along those same lines, there are some people who are easily impressed and will think you’re absolutely awesome no matter what even after 15 seconds of knowing them. Forget both types. Nothing you say or do will change their position and therefore they don’t matter. They are set in their opinions so it makes no sense to waste your time to try to change them. Keep a realistic perspective and move on. There are billions of people in this world so getting upset about one person’s opinion about you is insane.
Part of keeping a sound perspective on life is not being enamored with people who think they’re changing the world but aren’t. I’m talking about entertainers. Entertainers are just that…entertainers. Actors, musicians, and (to a lesser extent) athletes and authors are here for one purpose only: to entertain us.
There’s nothing wrong with dedicating your life to the arts and perfecting your craft and in some cases celebrities use their status for good and we applaud them for that. But they’re not to be worshipped or blindly followed as leaders or world changers. They’re not policymakers, scientists, doctors, pioneers, astronauts, generals, law enforcement, or have any real impact on anything other than providing us with a momentary escape from life. Without our dollars, they’d be on a subway street corner playing for handouts to spend on coffee to get the energy jolt they need to get up and do it again. Their commitment to their profession is laudable, but if a zombie apocalypse suddenly happened today they’d be bait.
A famous actress once said, “It’s only through movies that we learn who we are.” Nothing could be more hornswaggle bullshit. It’s through love, loss, pain, joy, birth, death, war, peace, adversity, embarrassment, failure, success, pushing your boundaries, honing your abilities, getting knocked down and getting back up again and telling the world, ‘you hit like a bitch’ that we learn who we are. An occasional motion picture will capture some of that experience, but it’s only a tiny fraction of the process of self-discovery. That’s life’s job, not Hollywood’s.
While we’re talking about entertainers, it’s a hard sell to feel an emotional outpouring for one (or anyone successful for that matter) when they succumb to drug addiction or other vice. These are people who actively seek a life that’s void of personal privacy and under constant scrutiny with easy access to a buffet of dangerous addictions run by ambitious and unscrupulous businessmen who give two fucks about their personal well being. When you’re paid millions of dollars to act on a stage or play a game and throw it all away for something so obscure that you should have seen coming, you’re just weak. Get some perspective and realize how good you have it.
Curmudgeonism: A Surly Man's Guide to Midlife
The Curmudgeon Universe
“Is that Kim Jong Un?” Sean said looking at the TV.
“That dude’s in the outer rim,” I responded.
“Dare I ask?”
“Outer rim. I’m the sun and he’s Pluto.”
“So the galaxy revolves around you now?”
“Not everyone’s. Just mine.” I grabbed a dry erase marker and sauntered to the board. “Let’s say this is me.” I put a dot on the board. “The people who agree with me and share the same beliefs are Venus and Mercury. Kind of like you right now.” I drew two small circles around my dot.
“Awww. You think I’m a God? How sweet.”
“Stay with me, Petunia. Next comes Earth and Mars, which represent the people who are like me, but don’t always agree. They’re good people and I like or respect them, but we don’t see eye to eye.” I drew more orbits. “The next layer is Jupiter and Saturn who are the people that disagree with me but maybe do it in a respectful way so I tolerate them. I wouldn’t hang out with them though, because they’re full of gas.”
It was an awesome joke. He rolled his eyes, clearly too sober for this deep discussion. “Neptune and Uranus are the people who have a totally skewed point of view and if we ever had a conversation it would probably devolve into ‘nuh-uh’ and ‘you motherfucker!’”
“And Pluto?”
“Total fucking nutjobs you should never interact with.”
“Interesting.”
“But here’s the thing…in their universe, you and I are Pluto. We have right wing beliefs so they think we’re the crazy ones. We’re the unbending, business-loving conservatives who they think are out in right field, which is fine. Everyone has their own universe and layers of people they surround themselves with. I think that’s part of being a curmudgeon; you finally realize that you’re never going to change anyone’s universe. They have a belief system and are set in it…but so are we.”
He paused to think about this mind-blowing truth. “So who’s right?”
“The person who has history, hard data, or facts on their side. Capitalists think Communists are on the outer rim. We think they’re a whole different bag of crazy, but Commies feel the same about us. So who’s right? I’ll tell ya who. The one with a hundred years of proof behind them…us. Capitalism has mostly succeeded in every country that has attempted it except the ones who were idiots about it while Communism has failed every time it’s been attempted but two and those experiments are getting anorexic.” I pointed back to the TV as Kim Jong Un waved to the crowd.
“Pluto.”
Curmudgeonism: A Surly Man's Guide to Midlife
“That dude’s in the outer rim,” I responded.
“Dare I ask?”
“Outer rim. I’m the sun and he’s Pluto.”
“So the galaxy revolves around you now?”
“Not everyone’s. Just mine.” I grabbed a dry erase marker and sauntered to the board. “Let’s say this is me.” I put a dot on the board. “The people who agree with me and share the same beliefs are Venus and Mercury. Kind of like you right now.” I drew two small circles around my dot.
“Awww. You think I’m a God? How sweet.”
“Stay with me, Petunia. Next comes Earth and Mars, which represent the people who are like me, but don’t always agree. They’re good people and I like or respect them, but we don’t see eye to eye.” I drew more orbits. “The next layer is Jupiter and Saturn who are the people that disagree with me but maybe do it in a respectful way so I tolerate them. I wouldn’t hang out with them though, because they’re full of gas.”
It was an awesome joke. He rolled his eyes, clearly too sober for this deep discussion. “Neptune and Uranus are the people who have a totally skewed point of view and if we ever had a conversation it would probably devolve into ‘nuh-uh’ and ‘you motherfucker!’”
“And Pluto?”
“Total fucking nutjobs you should never interact with.”
“Interesting.”
“But here’s the thing…in their universe, you and I are Pluto. We have right wing beliefs so they think we’re the crazy ones. We’re the unbending, business-loving conservatives who they think are out in right field, which is fine. Everyone has their own universe and layers of people they surround themselves with. I think that’s part of being a curmudgeon; you finally realize that you’re never going to change anyone’s universe. They have a belief system and are set in it…but so are we.”
He paused to think about this mind-blowing truth. “So who’s right?”
“The person who has history, hard data, or facts on their side. Capitalists think Communists are on the outer rim. We think they’re a whole different bag of crazy, but Commies feel the same about us. So who’s right? I’ll tell ya who. The one with a hundred years of proof behind them…us. Capitalism has mostly succeeded in every country that has attempted it except the ones who were idiots about it while Communism has failed every time it’s been attempted but two and those experiments are getting anorexic.” I pointed back to the TV as Kim Jong Un waved to the crowd.
“Pluto.”
Curmudgeonism: A Surly Man's Guide to Midlife
