Kelly Crigger's Blog - Posts Tagged "bourbon"
Do You Have Standards?
“Enlisted men drink beer. Officers drink bourbon,” my curmudgeon step-father told me many times growing up, clearly disappointed in my affection for cereal malt beverage. His message wasn’t so much about being better than the enlisted man and, in fact, he was always the first one to promote the benevolent Foot Soldier as the most virtuous man on earth. But he had an old-world chivalric way about him and knew where the line was between the ranks.
In my day just about every officer drank beer, but that wasn’t the point. Pop’s message was much larger than the beverage of choice. It was all about standards.
People aspire to gradually increase their quality of life little by little, year by year, and raise their standards. There’s nothing wrong with that. In our twenties, driving an old beater car and eating Spaghetti-O’s out of the can in a dorm room was just fine. By middle age it’s a cold day in hell when either of those things happen.
It’s sad to say, but cutting corners, not trying as hard as I could, and accepting sub-standard work was fine once in a while back then. Now we demand more of ourselves and everyone else. There’s a standard to keep and we don’t want to back off of it (notice I didn’t say ‘won’t ever back off’ because compromise happens – see the next section).
There’s a difference between standards and expectations. Expectations are things you want to achieve in the future, but standards are set by things in the past. Standards are usually based on actual events while expectations are based on hope. A silver spoon teenager raised on Fifth Avenue has a standard of dining in 5-star restaurants and an expectation that he will always be able to do so. Whether or not that happens is up to him.
Just like expectations, some people set their standards too high. While the Occupy Wall Street movement was raging against the machine and claiming there were no jobs for college grads, millions of openings stayed unfilled. The youthful protestors didn’t want to accept an entry-level job because they thought they were better than that, and maybe some of them were. But if you want a job and there’s an open job then take the damn job and quit whining. This isn’t rocket surgery. Setting ridiculously high standards is a recipe for failure unless living in your mom’s basement and eating tuna fish is an acceptable life.
Curmudgeon Quiz
You’re sparring with a friend (let’s assume you’ve thrown a punch at some time in your life even if you haven’t). He’s slacking. His punches are weak and he keeps dropping his hands. Do you:
a). Say “you’re clearly not into this today so let’s go get a latte and a bran muffin.”
b). Let him hit you in the face to build his sagging confidence.
c). Punch him square in the nose and follow it up with a legkick that’s borderline on the testes.
The answer is C. If I hit you during sparring then that’s my way of saying I give a shit because it’s my job as your sparring partner to prepare you for a real fight. If your defense is whimsical and your strikes are weaker than Dakota Fanning’s then it’s my responsibility to get you to tighten your shit up and pain is a great teacher. Tough standards save lives. Iron forges iron so if you can’t hang then get out of the ring and sell shoes. If you don’t quit then I’ll be ecstatic, but I’ll test you until you do because I have standards and you should too.
Curmudgeonism: A Surly Man's Guide to Midlife
In my day just about every officer drank beer, but that wasn’t the point. Pop’s message was much larger than the beverage of choice. It was all about standards.
People aspire to gradually increase their quality of life little by little, year by year, and raise their standards. There’s nothing wrong with that. In our twenties, driving an old beater car and eating Spaghetti-O’s out of the can in a dorm room was just fine. By middle age it’s a cold day in hell when either of those things happen.
It’s sad to say, but cutting corners, not trying as hard as I could, and accepting sub-standard work was fine once in a while back then. Now we demand more of ourselves and everyone else. There’s a standard to keep and we don’t want to back off of it (notice I didn’t say ‘won’t ever back off’ because compromise happens – see the next section).
There’s a difference between standards and expectations. Expectations are things you want to achieve in the future, but standards are set by things in the past. Standards are usually based on actual events while expectations are based on hope. A silver spoon teenager raised on Fifth Avenue has a standard of dining in 5-star restaurants and an expectation that he will always be able to do so. Whether or not that happens is up to him.
Just like expectations, some people set their standards too high. While the Occupy Wall Street movement was raging against the machine and claiming there were no jobs for college grads, millions of openings stayed unfilled. The youthful protestors didn’t want to accept an entry-level job because they thought they were better than that, and maybe some of them were. But if you want a job and there’s an open job then take the damn job and quit whining. This isn’t rocket surgery. Setting ridiculously high standards is a recipe for failure unless living in your mom’s basement and eating tuna fish is an acceptable life.
Curmudgeon Quiz
You’re sparring with a friend (let’s assume you’ve thrown a punch at some time in your life even if you haven’t). He’s slacking. His punches are weak and he keeps dropping his hands. Do you:
a). Say “you’re clearly not into this today so let’s go get a latte and a bran muffin.”
b). Let him hit you in the face to build his sagging confidence.
c). Punch him square in the nose and follow it up with a legkick that’s borderline on the testes.
The answer is C. If I hit you during sparring then that’s my way of saying I give a shit because it’s my job as your sparring partner to prepare you for a real fight. If your defense is whimsical and your strikes are weaker than Dakota Fanning’s then it’s my responsibility to get you to tighten your shit up and pain is a great teacher. Tough standards save lives. Iron forges iron so if you can’t hang then get out of the ring and sell shoes. If you don’t quit then I’ll be ecstatic, but I’ll test you until you do because I have standards and you should too.
Curmudgeonism: A Surly Man's Guide to Midlife
