Jeffrey L. Seglin's Blog, page 45

How much do I need to tell my neighbor?

The real estate market in Boston is booming. One city neighborhood after another is finding its housing stock being purchased, renovated, and sold to new owners. It's not unusual to drive down a neighborhood street and see three or four houses being gutted and readied for new lives.
Long-time residents are finding themselves subjected to truck noise, construction debris, and more traffic in their neighborhoods than typical. While the end result might be to raise the value of all neighboring properties, that's little solace to the hard-working folks who would like some peace and quiet when they happen to have a week day off from work.

L.W. lives in an old Boston neighborhood in a house that his family has owned for six decades. Down the street to the left of his house, an old house is being gutted while the empty lot next to it is being prepared for concrete foundation to be poured so a new house can be built. Right next door to L.W.'s house is a three-family house, once owner-occupied, that is being gutted and transformed into three luxury condominiums. 

While L.W.'s house is on a corner and on one street, the house next door is technically on another street. Yet, the houses share the same street number. Over the years, food deliveries, party guests, mail, and other stuff has found its way to the wrong house. It's been easy enough to re-direct items as long as the neighbors took the time to do so. 

But now, L.W.'s neighbor is a contractor who is renovating the house next door. No one is living next door, so errant food deliveries and party goers no longer appear on his doorstep. But a week or so ago, L.W. writes that he received a letter from the city informing him that he owed $35 in fines for improper disposal of trash. 

When L.W. took a closer look at the letter, he saw that while it was addressed to him, the photo that accompanied the letter was of loose trash piled up against the house next door. The city officials had mistaken the same-numbered house next door for his, even though the photo clearly showed that they were in error. 

In the past, L.W. says that when he received mail meant for his neighbor he would simply walk next door and put it in her mail box. But he's not sure what the right thing is to do with this notice. 

"I could get in touch with the contractor and let him know," writes L.W. "But if he ignores the notice, the city might think it was me who ignored it. Am I obligated to let the contractor know about this notice? Wouldn't that be the neighborly thing to do?" 

No, L.W. has no obligation to let the contractor know about the errant notice. The right thing for him to do is to call, email, or write the city agency that sent him the notice, let it know that the photo of the trash is not at his house but the house next door, give the correct address, and leave it to the city to notify the correct owner. And the right thing for the contractor to do is to do a better job of cleaning up his site. 

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 

Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 

F ollow him on Twitter: @jseglin  

(c) 2017 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

How far do I need to go to do my newspaper deliverer's job?

A reader, M.N., from New England, has been a subscriber to the print edition of his city's daily newspaper for more than 30 years. As more and more of the news migrated over to digital platforms that were updated throughout the day, M.N. says he still enjoys waking up early each morning, walking out to his front stoop, collecting his newspaper, and then sitting down to read it at the kitchen table over a hot cup of black coffee. It's how M.N. likes to start his days before he heads off to work.
Most often, even during inclement weather, which is plentiful in New England, the newspaper is there waiting for him at his front door. On the occasional days when the snow footage is overwhelming and the newspaper will be late, he generally receives an email from the newspaper's circulation department advising him that delivery might be delayed. But those days are rare and M.N. remains, for the most part, a happy customer.
Until recently.
For several days in a row, M.N. woke up and found that his newspaper had not been delivered. No note from the circulation department. Just no paper. He reported the missing paper online and asked to receive a credit, which he assumes the newspaper gave him.
On the fourth day he received no paper, M.N. reported it to the newspaper, but then he looked out his kitchen window at the house next door that was in the process of being renovated and was boarded up. On the wooden porch of that house were about six or seven copies of the daily newspaper in the same colorful plastic bags his delivery person typical used. M.N. went next door, gathered the papers, recycled the old ones, and kept that morning's paper so he could read it over coffee.
The next morning, the same thing happened. M.N. reported the non-delivery, then went next door to grab the incorrect delivered paper that was at the boarded up house.
Later that morning, he used the online chat service on the newspaper's site to inform them that his newspaper was being delivered to the wrong house. He expressed surprise that the deliverer wouldn't know not to deliver a newspaper to a boarded up house, and he gave a specific description of his house and his porch.
Still, for two days M.N. received credit for a missing paper that he ended up reading by recovering it from the boarded-up house next door. Even though he feels he was inconvenienced, he asks, "Am I obligated to let them know that I actually got the paper on those two days I got credit for?"
M.N. did read the newspaper on those two days. But when he reported a missing newspaper, he did so honestly and with good intent. He also was forthcoming during the online chat. He pays for the delivery to his house not to the boarded-up house next door. M.N. did the right thing by taking the time to straighten out the delivery issue. But he has no obligation to pay the newspaper for a product that was never delivered to him. 
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 
F ollow him on Twitter: @jseglin  
(c) 2017 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

If class doesn't notice, do I need to show up?

Practitioners in many fields, including medicine, real estate, law, education, mental health, and social work -- are required to regularly complete supplemental education so they remain current in their work. How much is required is determined by the particular industry and can vary from state to state. But in any given week, there are thousands of professionals out there spending a day or two to brush up their credentials.
A mental health worker, A.C., was attending a two-day conference recently. Her license requires her to complete a specific number of education hours every year and this conference seemed relevant and interesting. Each conference organizer runs its conference a bit differently, so A.C. always takes the time to check to see what kind of documentation she needs to provide the organizer to ensure that she receives credit for attending the conference after it is complete.
"I was surprised," she writes, "when I read the information booklet they handed us as we arrived," she says. Typically, she says, there's at least some sort of sign-in and sign-out process at the beginning and end of every day's session to ensure that those attending were actually present. A.C. notes that she's been at conferences where people might leave for a half-hour during the day after checking in, but they always seem to come back. "If people pay to come learn," she writes, "they generally stick it out, even when the occasional conference speaker turns out not to be as good as hoped."
But at this conference, A.C. noticed something odd. The conference booklet instructed all attendees: "Everyone must sign in on Friday by picking up a name badge and syllabus. If not, you will be marked as a 'no show.'"
That seemed pretty typical. But the next two sentences read: "You do not need to sign in again on Saturday morning. When you leave at the end of the conference, you must sign out by dropping off your attendance sheet."
"I or someone else could sign in on Friday morning, leave, and not come back until Saturday afternoon to get credit for the course," writes A.C. "Is there something wrong with the way the organizer has set this up?"
The right thing, of course, is for A.C. and others attending the conference to show up, sign in, and attend the full conference if they want to receive credit for it -- even if no one will notice if they're not there for almost all of the event. Trying to claim credit for attending an event because it seems simple to do so without getting caught is wrong.
But the right thing for the conference organizer is to fix its registration process so it holds its attendees more accountable for attendance, and so the organizers know who is signed into the room each day, not just on the first morning and the final hour of the conference.
It's not that the organizer shouldn't trust its attendees to do the right thing and show up without having to sign in each day. But if the organizer is putting on a conference and dispensing both information and credits for attending, it should do so in a way that holds itself and its attendees accountable, so not even the slightest suggestion of cheating on attendance comes into play. 
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 
F ollow him on Twitter: @jseglin  
(c) 2017 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

Should reader complain when her work goes for naught?

A large business had seen an increase in requests for some of its executives to talk to the media to comment as experts on particular issues. The volume of requests had increased to the point where managers in different parts of the company were finding it challenging to handle the flow and hadn't had as much time as they would have liked to prepare the executives before being interviewed.
Because the company was broken into smaller divisions, most had a small staff (sometimes one person) part of whose job it was to manage press relations. The heads of each of these staffs reported to one person who was in charge of corporate communications for the entire enterprise.
T.C., a reader who works as an executive for the company, had been a newspaper reporter in a prior professional life. She was also one of the executives who were regularly called upon to respond to media requests.
A few weeks ago, the head of corporate communications asked T.C. if she would be willing to lead a discussion among all of the various division staffers who handled press relations to give them tips they could give the executives who were sent out as experts to speak to the press.
She agreed to do so. Prior to that meeting, T.C. had a conversation with the head of corporate communications to make sure she knew what was expected of her. To prepare, T.C. spent a couple of hours putting together an outline of topics she thought would be useful to cover and specific tips that the staffers could use with the executives.
"When I got to the meeting, it seemed clear that none of the people had been told why I was coming," writes T.C. "I also wasn't sure that most of them knew who I was."
As the meeting progressed, it slowly became clear to T.C. that the session was turning into more of a meeting to discuss the challenges the staffers faced in dealing with various executives rather than a meeting to explore effective strategies they could use to train these executives to do a better job talking to the media.
"I hardly got a word in," writes T.C.
But, she writes, everyone, including the corporate communications manager, seemed pleased with the outcome of the meeting. They thanked her and then all left, never asking her if she had any particular advice she'd like to pass on.
"I put some time into preparing for the meeting when it turns out I didn't have to," writes T.C. "I really didn't even have to be there. That doesn't seem right. Should I say something to them?"
The right thing would have been for the head of corporate communications to manage the meeting better so that T.C.'s time was put to good use. If it turned out that the discussion went in an unexpected direction, but one which the head believed would prove useful, she should have explained that to T.C. after the meeting and let her know that she appreciated the time she put in, nonetheless.
T.C. gains little by saying anything at this point. But the right thing would be for her to keep this experience in mind should she be asked to make a return appearance. 
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 
F ollow him on Twitter: @jseglin  
(c) 2017 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

If I leave my firm, can I take my clients with me?

After working for a mental health clinic for more than a decade, a mental health therapist (let's call her "Lil") has decided to accept an offer from a clinic a few towns away. She enjoyed her work, her colleagues, and her clients, but the new opportunity gave her a chance to focus more on the type of work she enjoyed the most.
Lil established and maintained a good relationship with her current employer over the years, so she is leaving on good terms. Her supervisor and colleagues are sad to see her go, but they've been supportive about her decision. She planned to give them at least a month's notice so she could transition her current clients to new therapists at the clinic.
As Lil began to tell her clients that she would be leaving, all were sad to hear the news, but she reassured them that she would leave them in good hands at the clinic. Because she had established strong rapport with her ongoing clients, her reassurance calmed them about the transition.
But a handful of the clients asked her about shifting to see her at her new place of work after she moved there. At first, Lil felt uneasy about encouraging them to leave since she didn't want to do anything to jeopardize the health of the practice she'd be leaving. Nevertheless, many clients persisted in asking if she would consider seeing them at her new clinic after she moved.
"Is it wrong for me to tell clients they can make appointments to come see me at the new clinic?" Lil asks. "Would I somehow be betraying a trust with my soon-to-be former employer?"
If Lil had signed a non-compete agreement with the current clinic, she would likely find taking any existing clients with her to be a problem. Depending on the details of the non-compete agreement, she also might need to consult with her current employer to make sure that nothing about the move itself violates the agreement. I am not an attorney, so I would not be qualified to give Lil advice on whether or how she should do this. My inclination would be that the agreement limits her in what she can do.
But Lil tells me that she was not asked to sign a non-compete agreement with her current clinic. If that's the case, then her concern about doing what's fair to it is well-placed, but it shouldn't limit her from being able to build her practice at the new clinic or to consider accepting appointments from former clients who want to continue to see her.
Lil would be wrong to strongly advise her current clients to abandon the practice she's about to leave. But it should be each client's decision about what therapist he or she wants to work with.
The right thing is to be honest with her employers about her decision to leave, and to let clients know she is leaving as well. If clients ask where Lil is going and what type of work she will be doing, she should tell them. If they decide to follow her to the new practice, and she has not committed otherwise to her current employer, Lil should welcome them and continue to build the relationship she has already established with each of them. 
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 
F ollow him on Twitter: @jseglin  
(c) 2017 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

Should I let my child lie about age to get on Facebook?

Is it OK to lie about a child's age so he or she can get onto a popular social media site?
After all, few of the major social media sites ask for any proof of age, so who's going to care if a 12-year-old kid adds a year to his age by typing into the registration form for a site like Facebook and add a year to his life by indicating he was born the year before he actually was born. Boom. Online with his older friends, new friends, strangers posing as friends, and the massive newsfeed that follows.
Some parents make the case for allowing their children to fudge about their real age to gain access because they insist their child friend them or allow themselves to be followed on whatever social media site they sign up for. "I know what he's doing out there," one reader told me. "So I've nothing to worry about."
If a parent can monitor his child's activity on a social media site, does that make it OK to lie about the kid's age to get him on the site in the first place?
I'm sure that somewhere in all of the registration forms and click boxes needed to gain access to a particular site that we're all asked to confirm somehow that our answers are honest and accurate. I'm not a contracts lawyer, but I suspect that lying about your age on a contract to gain access to social media is not a good thing. Still, I've yet to read a case about a 12-year-old kid being hauled off to court because he pretended to be 13.
If parents can monitor their kids and the site isn't going to prosecute if you lie to it about your age, what could possibly be wrong with permitting a kid to sign up for a social media site before he or she meets the minimum age requirement?
How about this explanation offered to me by one of the smartest parents of teenagers I know? "If the first interaction your child has with social media is one of lying, why would you be surprised when a child posts inappropriate material or lies on the site?"
While it might seem innocuous to permit a child to add a few months to his life so he can poke or share or post to his heart's delight, a parent sending this kind of message that it's OK to lie to get what you want makes an impression. If it's OK to lie to get on Facebook, is it also OK to lie to get a better grade? Or to get a pet from an animal shelter? Or to get a fake ID card? Or to torment someone else on a social media site by trolling them and misrepresenting who you really are?
There are many opportunities parents have to nurture shared values with their kids. If honesty is one of those value, then the right thing when asked about lying about age to gain social media access is to say no. Feeling 13 is not the same as being 13. 
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 
F ollow him on Twitter: @jseglin  
(c) 2017 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

If strangers make mistakes, should you correct them?

Recently, I was forwarded a link to an opinion column written by a recent college graduate. In the column, the writer wrote passionately and clearly about the challenges she and others faced trying to search for jobs in Manhattan where, according to the Elliman Report, the average rental price for a one-bed apartment runs $3,933, and the median rental price is $3,369. Rents were high, the kinds of writing jobs she sought were scarce and she had little luck securing offers, but, nevertheless, she persisted.
It was clear from the writer's bio that she had been quite active trying to create a portfolio of writing to show potential employees. In addition to the column I read, she also had created a few different websites focusing on travel and entertainment.
When reading her opinion column on a website where writers appear to edit their own pieces, however, it was impossible not to notice that it contained several typographical, grammar, and usage errors. Immediately, my mind went to the fact that any prospective employer checking out the writer's online pieces would more than likely be concerned about finding such errors when considering her for a writing position.
In addition to writing a weekly ethics column, my full-time job is teaching people how to write, or, more accurately, to write better. I urge students regularly to remember that whatever they publish on the internet, whether it pays them a handsome fee or is done gratis, should be as polished and professional as possible since readers will judge the quality of their work by what's out there.
As an associate who works in Manhattan and whose opinion I respect pointed out, however, the column writer was not a student of mine and I had no relationship to her. I'd never read any of her work before her column was shared with me. My associate advised that if the writer had been one of her employees or a mentee, she would find a way to talk with her about the mistakes. "If not, I don't think I would discuss it directly."
But it nagged at me whether the right thing for me to do would be to contact the writer and offer her some unsolicited feedback. The risk might be that such an email might strike her as condescending or odd given that she didn't know me from Adam.
I emailed the writer, mentioned that I enjoyed reading her column, but pointed out that it contained quite a few errors. Within minutes, she responded, thanking me for my honesty and asking if I had any suggestions on how she might improve her self-editing skills. I directed her to some online writing, editing, and grammar sites. I also suggested she consider attending one of the seminars offered by The Op-Ed Project, an enterprise set up to train under-represented experts write and place strong opinion columns. (Full disclosure, I am a volunteer mentor-editor with the project.) The writer graciously thanked me and indicated she planned to follow up on the suggestions.
It would have been simpler not to say anything, and to hope that someone who knew the writer would offer advice. But contacting her took little effort, seemed the right thing to do, and was what I hoped someone would have done for me when I was starting out on my career. 
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 
F ollow him on Twitter: @jseglin  
(c) 2017 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

Does gratitude for a job mean never being able to leave?

How much does any of us owe an employer who gave us a job when we needed one most?

When a reader, S.N., was "most desperate," a friend offered to connect her to someone who might be able to offer her a job. "To show my gratitude, I have worked long hours for which I am not compensated," writes S.N., adding, "and that's fine."
But she also writes that she has withstood being treated badly. Each time, she has stayed loyal to the company and continued to try to do her work.
"I have worked as late as the bosses asked, on every occasion, including Saturdays," she writes. "I am grateful."
Recently, she claims that a co-worker did something inappropriate, but reported the action to "the bosses, under the guise of loyalty," even though the co-worker made it sound like he wasn't the culprit. "Actually, it was to gain favor" with the bosses, writes S.N.
S.N. believes that the culprit knows she knows what he did and how he tried to cover his tracks. When she tried to tell the bosses that he was the culprit behind the inappropriate behavior, they took no action, other than to continue making demands that she work more than she had originally agreed to work.
Now, S.N.'s work life is even more miserable. The demands that she work long hours and now to turn a blind eye to a co-worker's actions have "destroyed" her work life.
"When can I stop being grateful and leave to find other work?" she asks.
S.N. did the right thing by reporting the co-worker's actions to her bosses if she believed what he did crossed an ethical line. That the bosses chose not to believe her puts her in a tough position where she now believes they are punishing her for speaking out. But it sounds as if she believes the treatment she has received since beginning to work this job has been miserable from the get go.
It was good of a friend to help S.N. find work when she needed it. The sense of relief S.N. must have felt at being able to work to earn a paycheck must have been palpable. It's no wonder that she feels grateful both to her friend and to the bosses who hired her.
But it is clear that the bosses are not giving S.N. a handout. She works for the money she earns, often putting in hours far beyond what she had agreed to and anticipated. The bosses are getting something out of S.N. working for them as much as she is from having been offered the job.
The time to start looking for another job was as soon as S.N. felt she was being treated unfairly. She has no obligation, no matter how grateful she is, to stay on a job any longer than she wants. This would be true even if she enjoyed the job. Her only obligation is to do good work while she works for the company.
It's clear that S.N. is miserable at work and that she believes her bosses are not taking her concerns seriously. The right thing is to start looking for another job as soon as possible. When she finds the new job, the right thing will be to do good work on that job for as long as she decides to keep it. 
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 
F ollow him on Twitter: @jseglin  
(c) 2017 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

If you don't RSVP, should the host still come?

A real estate developer recently purchased a multifamily house in a neighborhood comprised of single-family and multifamily homes. The house the developer purchased was a three-family that had fallen into significant disrepair. Many neighbors were relieved when they discovered that the new owner didn't plan to tear the house down completely, but instead to gut it and create three condominiums that he would sell to new owners.
Still, the gutting and redesign would be significant and the trucks and dumpsters going in and out of the neighborhood would affect traffic and parking, as well as create noise and a bit of a mess. To try to address any concerns that neighbors might have, the developer dropped off letters to neighbors inviting them to an open house on a Saturday morning at his property's site.
In the letter, the developer made clear he intended to keep only three units in the house and to knock down an old garage behind the house to make way for six parking spaces. He also indicated that he would be applying for a zoning variance to extend the back of the house a bit to increase the footprint of one of the three condos, but that the extension would go into the existing backyard. In his letter he asked neighbors to RSVP and gave them a phone number and email to use for those purposes.
Strictly speaking, an RSVP is a request for a reply, whether you plan to attend. But the developer added the phrase "if you plan to attend" after the RSVP, which seemed to suggest he only wanted to hear from those who planned to come.
On the Monday after the open house was to occur, a neighbor who had emailed the developer that he would be out of town and couldn't make the open house ran into him and asked how the open house went.
"We didn't have it," he responded, "since no one RSVP'd.
"I RSVP'd," the neighbor reminded him.
"I meant no one said they were coming," he said. "But one neighbor emailed us late on Saturday to tell us the she was upset because several people were waiting in the cold to attend the open house."
Later, the neighbor asked around and found out who the person was who had emailed the developer with her disappointment.
"I'm not liking him too much," she said. "He should have shown up once he announced the open house, even if we didn't respond."
Her neighbor wasn't so sure, wondering whether she and others were obligated to RSVP if they planned to show up or if the developer was obligated to show up regardless. "What was the right thing to do here?" he asks.
The neighbors should have responded to the invitation if they planned to intend. They have no real right to be angry if they didn't and then no one showed up. But if the developer's intent was to build good will among the neighbors abutting his property, the right thing would have been for him to show up regardless. The potential of wasting the trip would have been outweighed by the possibility of meeting some neighbors who failed at basic etiquette, but who decided to show up nonetheless. 
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 
F ollow him on Twitter: @jseglin  
(c) 2017 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

Should therapist share personal views with clients?

Shortly after the U.S. presidential election, L.L., a psychotherapist who practices family therapy, writes that she had an unusual experience. While she was used to her clients talking with her about any number of issues, it was rare for them to talk politics.
Two different clients, each with strong feelings about the election, started their sessions by expressing their strong feelings about the election's outcome. Each had different reasons for how they felt, L.L. writes, but each went on for quite a bit of time into their respective sessions, before pausing, looking up at L.L.
"Pretty much identical statements followed," writes L.L., indicating that each said a variation of, "Oops, I'm assuming you feel the same."
Neither client was seeking L.L.'s advice on some therapeutic issues. But, she writes that "both had started talking as though they knew I supported the same candidate they did."
"What if I didn't?" asks L.L. "Should I have told them?"
I am not a psychotherapist. I do not meet with clients each day. But it's fair to observe that the reason clients seek out L.L.'s services is to help them deal with issues they bring to each session, whether these have to do with family, work, or anything else resulting in their need to seek her out. If a client sought out L.L.'s advice on how to sort out conflicting feelings they have about making election decisions, it seems her job would be to help them sort these feelings out, not to tell them who to vote for.
L.L. also makes clear that she sets boundaries with her clients. While she works hard to let them know she is genuinely concerned about them and their mental health, she also works hard not to bring her personal life into the relationship. Her job, she writes, is to work with her clients on their issues, not to burden them with hers.
But here, L.L. found herself in an atypical situation where two of her clients had a strong emotional response to an issue that they expressed to her and then paused when they realized that they might be ranting against a person L.L. supported. So, when the expressed their assumption that L.L. might share their visceral response, should she have told them she voted the same or different from how they did?
That each of the patients paused out of concern that they might be offending L.L. by making an assumption suggests that they likely built a strong bond with her. They feel comfortable speaking with her, but also are concerned about making false assumptions about her seeing the world the same as they do.
Obviously, L.L. shouldn't lie to her clients about which candidate she voted for, but she has no obligation to tell them, unless, for some reason that escapes me (again, not a psychotherapist myself), she believes there is a therapeutic value in doing so.
Instead, the right thing is for L.L. to do as she has always done with her clients and either encourage them to keep talking or to try to direct them to talk about other issues that are relevant to their care. In response, to their "oops" comment, L.L. would simply had to respond "That's OK," and then move on with the discussion that focused on them and their needs. 
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues. 
Do you have ethical questions that you need answered? Send them to rightthing@comcast.net. 
F ollow him on Twitter: @jseglin  
(c) 2017 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.