Cameron Darrow's Blog, page 18
August 29, 2019
Whence Cometh Darkness?
Working on HCH, the book I want to be light and happy, with funny bits alongside the kissy bits.
So... why do the character's backstories keep going dark? All of the Ashes characters have dark backstories, and I wanted to avoid that again, but a new character in this entirely separate, standalone book keeps telling me that she comes from a bad place, too. Why? I don't know! It's weird. Maybe because the Ashes books aren't done yet, and I can't get that part of my brain to shut off, maybe it's the real world creeping in, or maybe it's just the kind of writer I am. Makes the highs higher, lots of contrast. Big fan of contrast.
While it can provide depth and extra facets to a character, it's exhausting putting myself in her head every day. I guess that means it's working. The deeper and more shaded she is, the less 'stock' she is, the more there is for you, the reader, to chew on and set your hooks in. Or vice versa. If there's one thing I want to be known for as a writer, it's my characters. I've done well so far by listening to them and doing what they say, I think. I just wish they would turn the lights on before they start whispering, sometimes.
Never mind. Thanks to this post, I had a good think and then a great writing day. Angst gone, kissy bits hooooooo!!!
While it can provide depth and extra facets to a character, it's exhausting putting myself in her head every day. I guess that means it's working. The deeper and more shaded she is, the less 'stock' she is, the more there is for you, the reader, to chew on and set your hooks in. Or vice versa. If there's one thing I want to be known for as a writer, it's my characters. I've done well so far by listening to them and doing what they say, I think. I just wish they would turn the lights on before they start whispering, sometimes.
Never mind. Thanks to this post, I had a good think and then a great writing day. Angst gone, kissy bits hooooooo!!!
August 22, 2019
Get to the Kissy Parts!
^ This is where I am with New Book (code name HCH, which will be very clever when you learn the actual title. (This is sarcasm.)). As much as you and the characters have to earn The Kissy Parts, I do, too. I love world-building, discovering and fleshing out my characters, figuring out the tone and scope of the story, all that good stuff. But the best part, for me, is a good flirt. "C'est la vie, ma cherie," is still one of my favorite lines in all of my books. It's simple, yes, but it means so much in that moment when Elise says it to Millie in Remember, November. Millie doesn't speak French, she has no idea what it literally means, but she knows what she thinks it means, and doesn't ask for a translation to keep it that way. But she's right. Elise did mean what Millie thought, and it's all the more beautiful. They love each other, even without having confessed it yet, and playing with that tension, that uncertainty, the longing, the energy of it is one of my favorite writing experiences. We know from the very first scene of that book that these two have something together, and it's been simmering for a while. You know they're perfect for each other, and you're yelling at the book for them to just admit it.
The relationship in HCH is different, but I can see it in my head. I can feel it. It was the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning, but I'm not there in the story yet. I have to build up to it, earn it. So do they. I want them to, and so will you, I hope. A look, a smile, a touch, it's my great pleasure as a writer to convey the beauty of their feelings and try to put into words the multiple types of magic this book contains. And a fantasy with a strong romantic bent has a lot of it to share.
I hope, when the book is done, you'll laugh and maybe even give it a little hug. Read it again, perhaps. Love these characters as much as I do, and they do each other. If you do, let me know, I could use a melt into a happy puddle. If not, that's okay, too. As long as I've made your life better in some way in exchange for what you've invested in my stories, I will consider that a success.
But for now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do before I can get to the Kissy Parts.
The relationship in HCH is different, but I can see it in my head. I can feel it. It was the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning, but I'm not there in the story yet. I have to build up to it, earn it. So do they. I want them to, and so will you, I hope. A look, a smile, a touch, it's my great pleasure as a writer to convey the beauty of their feelings and try to put into words the multiple types of magic this book contains. And a fantasy with a strong romantic bent has a lot of it to share.
I hope, when the book is done, you'll laugh and maybe even give it a little hug. Read it again, perhaps. Love these characters as much as I do, and they do each other. If you do, let me know, I could use a melt into a happy puddle. If not, that's okay, too. As long as I've made your life better in some way in exchange for what you've invested in my stories, I will consider that a success.
But for now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do before I can get to the Kissy Parts.
August 15, 2019
Discovery
Writing the New Book I mentioned last week, I'm quite enjoying the process of building an entirely new sandbox to play in. It's my sandbox, and I get to decide what color the sand is, and how much, and how many snakes are hiding in it. Designing characters, both physically and personality-wise, making up lore and history, it's a big change from the Ashes books, one that I think I needed.
Book IV is still marinating, and will be for a while yet.
New Book is coming along at a nice pace; lots of world-building, questions being asked and answered, getting to know the characters. Still early days, but I'm liking how it's turning out so far.
Just a quick post this week; have a good weekend!
Book IV is still marinating, and will be for a while yet.
New Book is coming along at a nice pace; lots of world-building, questions being asked and answered, getting to know the characters. Still early days, but I'm liking how it's turning out so far.
Just a quick post this week; have a good weekend!
August 8, 2019
The Goings-on
I just looked up the title of this post to double-check if it was supposed to by hyphenated or not, and the dictionary definition included 'especially of an unusual or suspect nature.' I hadn't thought of it that way, but today it's appropriate!
The first draft of Book IV is done! Now it gets to marinate, as all my first drafts do, for a few weeks. This one maybe a little longer than usual; I need more distance from it, I feel. I will try very hard to have it out this year, but it might be later in the winter.
But during that time, I will not be idle! I've already been using it to start my first standalone novel! One that I will be working on during this marinating time and when Book IV is in beta, or when... I want to? That's a thing I can do, too.
A new book? Whaaa?
Given how dark everything seems to be nowadays, I want to put some light into the world. Pure light. The Ashes books have light in them, but also very deep shadows. They're heavy books at times, to read, but also to write, and I wanted to do something for both you and myself that is joyous and a little bit silly. Something fun.
Two of my biggest influences are Mercedes Lackey and Terry Pratchett, and this new book has ample evidence of that fact so far. Tonally, it's very different from the Ashes books, and it needed to be, it's why I'm writing it. It's a sweet fantasy f/f romance about falling in love with the impossible, set in a much more traditional fantasy setting, and will most likely be the shortest of my novels when it's done.
So far, it's proving to be a wonderful way to reset my brain while still being productive, and it lets me flex some muscles that have been atrophying a bit as of late. Title, character names, all that to come later. It has the former and many of the latter, but I'm not ready to share them yet. But I will, in good time!
Stuff is happening! Good stuff!
The first draft of Book IV is done! Now it gets to marinate, as all my first drafts do, for a few weeks. This one maybe a little longer than usual; I need more distance from it, I feel. I will try very hard to have it out this year, but it might be later in the winter.
But during that time, I will not be idle! I've already been using it to start my first standalone novel! One that I will be working on during this marinating time and when Book IV is in beta, or when... I want to? That's a thing I can do, too.
A new book? Whaaa?
Given how dark everything seems to be nowadays, I want to put some light into the world. Pure light. The Ashes books have light in them, but also very deep shadows. They're heavy books at times, to read, but also to write, and I wanted to do something for both you and myself that is joyous and a little bit silly. Something fun.
Two of my biggest influences are Mercedes Lackey and Terry Pratchett, and this new book has ample evidence of that fact so far. Tonally, it's very different from the Ashes books, and it needed to be, it's why I'm writing it. It's a sweet fantasy f/f romance about falling in love with the impossible, set in a much more traditional fantasy setting, and will most likely be the shortest of my novels when it's done.
So far, it's proving to be a wonderful way to reset my brain while still being productive, and it lets me flex some muscles that have been atrophying a bit as of late. Title, character names, all that to come later. It has the former and many of the latter, but I'm not ready to share them yet. But I will, in good time!
Stuff is happening! Good stuff!
August 1, 2019
Which Witch
Writing a novel series that has a main cast made up entirely of witches has led to a strange, unexpected problem: I've written the word 'witch' so many times that my fingers have developed a muscle memory of spelling it that way, no matter what. I literally wrote the word 'sandwitch' the other day and didn't notice until the third time I read it. I typed it, read it, read it again, and it wasn't until I read it later a third time that anything struck me as being amiss. WTF?
Good thing the first draft is almost done! Almost brain-reset time.
Good thing the first draft is almost done! Almost brain-reset time.
July 25, 2019
It's Like Puking
In every book I've written, there has been at least one scene that it took me forever to realize needed to simply be axed. Change the intro, massage this, tweak that, always trying to salvage it and make it work. It completely kills whatever momentum I had going that day as I get completely bogged down in something that I don't really want to be doing.
It's like puking. You don't want to, you know it's going to suck, it hurts and it's embarrassing to be face down in the toilet. But you feel better afterwards, right? It's why you throw up. "No, no, no I don't wanna, n- blrghrghghgh! Oh, I can go lie down now.""
Those pernicious scenes are the same way. You don't want to cut it, because you sank so much effort into it trying to salvage it, and it hurts. Then you make the decision, and suddenly you feel a lot better. It was a weight you didn't even realize was getting heavier, but once it's gone, you realize you should have done it a long time ago.
"Every scene has to have a turn" is one of the axioms of writing I try to abide by, and the scenes that get axed do so because they don't turn. There's no point to it, story-wise. While it might be neat to see Character X do Thing Y, it has to be for a reason that serves the story. She has to gain or lose something, learn a new piece of information, ask a question (that you must answer later), something has to change, no matter how small.
Puke scenes usually end up that way because that come from a bit of imagery, or the rule of cool, not from the story, or from what the character wants or needs. Could Victoria pick up a tank with her Manifest and crush it like a soda can? Sure she could. Why, though? What tank? Is there anyone in it? What would drive her to do something so outwardly violent? Why would she be facing down a friggin' tank? 'But it would be cool!' Sure would. Blrghrghghgh!
^That's not the scene I cut, it's just an example. Even cut scenes have elements I might be able to use later, so I don't want to describe them here. But that's the kind of thinking you can talk yourself into when you get an idea, which ties back to last week's post about context. It's all connected!
It's like puking. You don't want to, you know it's going to suck, it hurts and it's embarrassing to be face down in the toilet. But you feel better afterwards, right? It's why you throw up. "No, no, no I don't wanna, n- blrghrghghgh! Oh, I can go lie down now.""
Those pernicious scenes are the same way. You don't want to cut it, because you sank so much effort into it trying to salvage it, and it hurts. Then you make the decision, and suddenly you feel a lot better. It was a weight you didn't even realize was getting heavier, but once it's gone, you realize you should have done it a long time ago.
"Every scene has to have a turn" is one of the axioms of writing I try to abide by, and the scenes that get axed do so because they don't turn. There's no point to it, story-wise. While it might be neat to see Character X do Thing Y, it has to be for a reason that serves the story. She has to gain or lose something, learn a new piece of information, ask a question (that you must answer later), something has to change, no matter how small.
Puke scenes usually end up that way because that come from a bit of imagery, or the rule of cool, not from the story, or from what the character wants or needs. Could Victoria pick up a tank with her Manifest and crush it like a soda can? Sure she could. Why, though? What tank? Is there anyone in it? What would drive her to do something so outwardly violent? Why would she be facing down a friggin' tank? 'But it would be cool!' Sure would. Blrghrghghgh!
^That's not the scene I cut, it's just an example. Even cut scenes have elements I might be able to use later, so I don't want to describe them here. But that's the kind of thinking you can talk yourself into when you get an idea, which ties back to last week's post about context. It's all connected!
July 18, 2019
The Importance of Context
Sometimes you'll have an idea for a scene, one that's so vivid or so (at least at the time) good, you feel compelled to write it out, even if it's from a completely different part of the book than you're working on at the time. In your head it's amazing, so you can't wait. You feel everything happening and it sings, but then when you go to write it out, it's actually pretty muted, and doesn't stay on the beat, and it's out of tune. Why?
For me, I've come to realize, it's because there's no context. Scenes for me don't really sing until they're nestled within everything surrounding it. The transitions from one to the next, something somebody said just a few pages earlier, a realization you or a character hadn't had when you sat down to write that amazing isolated scene. To me, that's what adds life and makes it breathe. How you think a character feels versus how you know they do given everything that's led up to that point. Your great idea scene may be preceded by another great idea scene, but you didn't think of it until six months later, and now you have to re-write both anyway. For example, a scene that ends on a gag or joke might be perfect in isolation, but if in the next scene it ends up that someone has an emotional breakdown, it's no longer funny. It's weird and inappropriate; the tone is now all wrong.
You don't have to write things in order, I don't, but I'm also the type of writer who does more work on the second draft than the first. My Scrivener drafts are a technicolor nightmare that way, but it helps me when I look back at previous books to remind myself that the first draft needn't be perfect, or even close to it. I'm in the middle of my fourth novel and I still have to remember that things can be fixed at any point, and that the polish goes on last.
So while I still write down those Eureka scenes, I don't expect them to be final, and sometimes I'll just write down the Cliffs Notes version so I can savor unfolding the entire thing later with proper context. The goal, in the end, is that you the reader never notice which was which, and it's all equally enjoyable.
For me, I've come to realize, it's because there's no context. Scenes for me don't really sing until they're nestled within everything surrounding it. The transitions from one to the next, something somebody said just a few pages earlier, a realization you or a character hadn't had when you sat down to write that amazing isolated scene. To me, that's what adds life and makes it breathe. How you think a character feels versus how you know they do given everything that's led up to that point. Your great idea scene may be preceded by another great idea scene, but you didn't think of it until six months later, and now you have to re-write both anyway. For example, a scene that ends on a gag or joke might be perfect in isolation, but if in the next scene it ends up that someone has an emotional breakdown, it's no longer funny. It's weird and inappropriate; the tone is now all wrong.
You don't have to write things in order, I don't, but I'm also the type of writer who does more work on the second draft than the first. My Scrivener drafts are a technicolor nightmare that way, but it helps me when I look back at previous books to remind myself that the first draft needn't be perfect, or even close to it. I'm in the middle of my fourth novel and I still have to remember that things can be fixed at any point, and that the polish goes on last.
So while I still write down those Eureka scenes, I don't expect them to be final, and sometimes I'll just write down the Cliffs Notes version so I can savor unfolding the entire thing later with proper context. The goal, in the end, is that you the reader never notice which was which, and it's all equally enjoyable.
July 11, 2019
Gardeners and Architects
So last week, I wrote about how writing the ending of the story first is no fun, and that is the primary argument that gardener-style writers have against architect-style writers. If you know the ending, you have no reason to write the story.
While they have a point, one that I've felt more personally than ever, I still disagree with the overall idea. As I said last week, I know the endings to my stories, it's the only reason they don't wander off into the weeds and break their legs falling into a ditch. It's very easy for a story to get away from you, and you end up having to set an entire novella's worth of words on fire because they don't work anymore.
I had around 20,000 deleted words on Mirrors, not because of not knowing the ending, but just meandering story, or experimenting with what worked. None of them were final-draft worthy, however, not even close. I can't imagine throwing out 20,000 words of polished material, I would go mental. 20,000 of 'maybe this works? not really' is, believe it or not, fine. But I keep all of it, because it might be useful later; there are bits in Mirrors that I wrote for Fires, and there are bits I've written for both that may not be used until Book V or VI. You never know!
But I'm not an architect. Nor am I a gardener. I used to be the latter, but then I never finished anything. I, like many writers, have a proverbial drawer full of beginnings. The endings I've written are all up on Amazon right now. To get there, I set a goal, and markers along the way, but if I find something interesting as I go along, I'll stop and have a look. I have to allow myself that kind of flexibility, or it would become boring. But I have to know at least roughly where I'd like to end up, or I'll never arrive.
But that's just me, and it took a long time for me to realize that it's not either/or, you can do both. You just have to figure out what works best for you. And that's okay. There is no universal right way, only your way. Are you hitting your word count consistently? Are you finishing the work you start? Yes? Then it's the right way.
While they have a point, one that I've felt more personally than ever, I still disagree with the overall idea. As I said last week, I know the endings to my stories, it's the only reason they don't wander off into the weeds and break their legs falling into a ditch. It's very easy for a story to get away from you, and you end up having to set an entire novella's worth of words on fire because they don't work anymore.
I had around 20,000 deleted words on Mirrors, not because of not knowing the ending, but just meandering story, or experimenting with what worked. None of them were final-draft worthy, however, not even close. I can't imagine throwing out 20,000 words of polished material, I would go mental. 20,000 of 'maybe this works? not really' is, believe it or not, fine. But I keep all of it, because it might be useful later; there are bits in Mirrors that I wrote for Fires, and there are bits I've written for both that may not be used until Book V or VI. You never know!
But I'm not an architect. Nor am I a gardener. I used to be the latter, but then I never finished anything. I, like many writers, have a proverbial drawer full of beginnings. The endings I've written are all up on Amazon right now. To get there, I set a goal, and markers along the way, but if I find something interesting as I go along, I'll stop and have a look. I have to allow myself that kind of flexibility, or it would become boring. But I have to know at least roughly where I'd like to end up, or I'll never arrive.
But that's just me, and it took a long time for me to realize that it's not either/or, you can do both. You just have to figure out what works best for you. And that's okay. There is no universal right way, only your way. Are you hitting your word count consistently? Are you finishing the work you start? Yes? Then it's the right way.
July 4, 2019
The Proof of the Pudding is in the Eating
^ That is is the original (more sensible) idiom that is more commonly used today as 'the proof is in the pudding' (which makes no sense, and has been retconned into 'the end result is it's own justification,' but... really?). What it originally meant was that the only way to know if know something you were making was good or not was to eat it. And not just as in 'tasty' but as in 'not poisonous.' Anyway, why did I bring this up? Oh, writing, right.
Book IV is the first book I've written the ending to first. A while ago I wrote a post on here called 'The Rush of Creation,' which was about how I had a great rush of ideas that I needed to get out all at once. Those ideas were 80% the ending of this book, and now, writing the rest of it, I know that if that happens again, I'm biting the bullet and not writing it. I'll sketch out an outline so I don't forget what I thought up, but I won't write the ending first ever again.
Endings should be cathartic, for the writer as much as the reader, and while it felt amazing to have all of that flood out of me, it was the catharsis of a story I hadn't written down yet. The idea of it was in my head, but I wrote the payoff before the setup, which I've never done, and I don't think I like it.
Even though I know the endings to my stories before I start them, they've always been goals I'm working towards, the destination for the journey I'm taking, but it turns out just teleporting there isn't any fun. Doing that, combined with the MIrrors launch fallout has meant that this one is not going the way any of my other books have. In a way, I'm glad, because I'm learning more about my process and how my brain works now than I have since the first one. I'm in the heart of this story right now, and I've missed being here. In the belly of the beast, feeling my characters, fleshing out the world, it's fun again.
So will the ending be 100% what I wrote a few months ago? No, probably not. A lot of it will be, but there are little moments I'm creating now that will inform the story going forward, so it will be massaged a little bit, tweaked. It's not set in stone. And that's one of the beauties of writing long-form stories. You can change it. Good ideas don't all come at once, sometimes it takes awhile, and the story isn't done until it's published.
I know the ending to the series, too. I have for a long time, but now I know that there's no way I'm writing it until it's time. I'm going to earn it, just as my characters will have to. It's called a climax for a reason!
So, I'm eating, and so far, at least, it's not poisonous. I hope you find it tasty.
I still have to think of what to call it, though.
Book IV is the first book I've written the ending to first. A while ago I wrote a post on here called 'The Rush of Creation,' which was about how I had a great rush of ideas that I needed to get out all at once. Those ideas were 80% the ending of this book, and now, writing the rest of it, I know that if that happens again, I'm biting the bullet and not writing it. I'll sketch out an outline so I don't forget what I thought up, but I won't write the ending first ever again.
Endings should be cathartic, for the writer as much as the reader, and while it felt amazing to have all of that flood out of me, it was the catharsis of a story I hadn't written down yet. The idea of it was in my head, but I wrote the payoff before the setup, which I've never done, and I don't think I like it.
Even though I know the endings to my stories before I start them, they've always been goals I'm working towards, the destination for the journey I'm taking, but it turns out just teleporting there isn't any fun. Doing that, combined with the MIrrors launch fallout has meant that this one is not going the way any of my other books have. In a way, I'm glad, because I'm learning more about my process and how my brain works now than I have since the first one. I'm in the heart of this story right now, and I've missed being here. In the belly of the beast, feeling my characters, fleshing out the world, it's fun again.
So will the ending be 100% what I wrote a few months ago? No, probably not. A lot of it will be, but there are little moments I'm creating now that will inform the story going forward, so it will be massaged a little bit, tweaked. It's not set in stone. And that's one of the beauties of writing long-form stories. You can change it. Good ideas don't all come at once, sometimes it takes awhile, and the story isn't done until it's published.
I know the ending to the series, too. I have for a long time, but now I know that there's no way I'm writing it until it's time. I'm going to earn it, just as my characters will have to. It's called a climax for a reason!
So, I'm eating, and so far, at least, it's not poisonous. I hope you find it tasty.
I still have to think of what to call it, though.
June 27, 2019
Spikes and Horcruxes
Since I started writing Remember, November, I've been keeping track of my word count every day. My daily goal has more than doubled since then, and I'm happy with how regularly I've hit it.
This book, Book IV, however, as seen some incredibly wild swings in how much I've gotten done each day. Many of the reasons I've outlined in prior posts, but over the last month or so, it's really turned into spikes and troughs. Days I can almost double it followed by days where I can't even hit it. Even though I'm excited by those big days, I want to be more consistent, which I feel is more important long-term. Like the economy, you want steady progress, not big boom-and-bust cycles where everything goes to hell every so often.
Part of the reason for this pattern recently, I think, is that because each of my books are like a horcrux, and a little bit of my soul goes into every one. It's cliche, but there really is a piece of me in all of my characters, and sometimes I give that piece out freely and joyfully, while other times they have to wring it out of me.
But on days where it just isn't happening, you have to be able to forgive yourself (as long as it doesn't become a pattern). You take a Mulligan and 'walk it off' as it were, and come back the next day. I used to berate myself into pretty dark places before, and it didn't really help, since I had to come back and do the work the next day anyway. It wasn't motivating. Be healthy, kids! And that includes mentally.
There are a lot of sources of motivation for me nowadays, but it's not always enough. One of the scenes I've been looking forward to writing the most in this entire series is in Book IV, and I have a very clear idea of what it looks like. Have I written it yet? Nope. It's the dessert of this banquet, and I'll be saving it for last. There are things I will discover in the process of writing it that will have ripple effect that I will have to add to other parts, but that's what second drafts are for!
But as Pink Floyd said, 'How can you have your pudding if you don't eat your meat!?' I'm eating my meat, just some bites are bigger than others. And that's okay.
This book, Book IV, however, as seen some incredibly wild swings in how much I've gotten done each day. Many of the reasons I've outlined in prior posts, but over the last month or so, it's really turned into spikes and troughs. Days I can almost double it followed by days where I can't even hit it. Even though I'm excited by those big days, I want to be more consistent, which I feel is more important long-term. Like the economy, you want steady progress, not big boom-and-bust cycles where everything goes to hell every so often.
Part of the reason for this pattern recently, I think, is that because each of my books are like a horcrux, and a little bit of my soul goes into every one. It's cliche, but there really is a piece of me in all of my characters, and sometimes I give that piece out freely and joyfully, while other times they have to wring it out of me.
But on days where it just isn't happening, you have to be able to forgive yourself (as long as it doesn't become a pattern). You take a Mulligan and 'walk it off' as it were, and come back the next day. I used to berate myself into pretty dark places before, and it didn't really help, since I had to come back and do the work the next day anyway. It wasn't motivating. Be healthy, kids! And that includes mentally.
There are a lot of sources of motivation for me nowadays, but it's not always enough. One of the scenes I've been looking forward to writing the most in this entire series is in Book IV, and I have a very clear idea of what it looks like. Have I written it yet? Nope. It's the dessert of this banquet, and I'll be saving it for last. There are things I will discover in the process of writing it that will have ripple effect that I will have to add to other parts, but that's what second drafts are for!
But as Pink Floyd said, 'How can you have your pudding if you don't eat your meat!?' I'm eating my meat, just some bites are bigger than others. And that's okay.
