Brendan I. Koerner's Blog, page 60

Dress Your Gang in Acrylic and Wool

My dad once had this chocolate-brown cardigan he'd wear on the rare occasions that the Los Angeles mercury dipped below 65 degrees. It had big knobby buttons and a thick rolled collar, and it generally made him look like the friendly postmaster of some microscopic English village. As a result, I have long associated button-up sweaters with a certain kind of geniality.

But had I brought that attitude to the streets of Chicago during the 1960s or '70s, I might have paid a terrible price. That's ...

Think Think Think

In a pensive mood today, as I mark another revolution 'round the Sun while simultaneously grappling with some tough decisions. At times like these, I often ask myself, "What would Genghis do?" But then I watch the clip above, which quotes the Great Khan pretty much verbatim, and I'm reminded that I can find little intellectual solace in that coping strategy.

So what is really best in life, and how to achieve it? Gimme 24 hours to think on that one, and I'll loop back to y'all in the...

Eternal Students at Bovine University

According to the criteria laid out by Franklin D. Roosevelt in his celebrated Four Freedoms speech, life is a mixed bag for millions of Indian cows. On the plus side, they are not confined to grim facilities that exist solely to turn their bovine inmates into hangar steaks. But though free-roaming Indian cows are spared the fear of the slaughterhouse, they rarely live in the lap of luxury—food and medical care are in short supply, and those weakened by these deprivations may be spirited off t...

"There's Only One Law…His!"

Nights on the road can get a little dull when you're traveling solo for work—you end up spending a lot of time alone in your hotel room, eating bad food and watching bad TV. But occasionally the Fates show you a little mercy, by offering up some unexpected entertainment. Such was the case during my recent Arizona trip, during which I was able to pass a few joyful hours wrapped up in AMC's "Bronson Week," a celebration of the greatest Lithuanian-American action star in Hollywood history.

The m...

The Tug of Tradition

Should you ever wish to rile up a gathering of firefighters, to the point that punches may get thrown, bring up the notion that red is a dreadful color for fire engines. You can maximize your irritation factor by citing the work of one Dr. Stephen Solomon, an optometrist best known for proposing that fluorescent lime green is the best color for emergency vehicles. Such an eye-catching color, Solomon argued, forces even the laziest eye to pay attention, thereby minimizing collisions between...

The Full Plate

Apologies, really thought I'd have time to write today. But it's nearly 8 a.m. here in northern Arizona and I'm several notches less than prepared for a mammoth day of reporting. Thanks, as always, for your forebearance—all will be back to normal by Friday, if not earlier.

By the Time I Get to Arizona

Heading to the rural Southwest this morning for work, so please absorb this dreamy slice of soul as I zoom through American airspace. Back tomorrow, motel WiFi willing.

Give Us Your Cheap Labor

There's a classic scene at the beginning of The Godfather II in which young Vito Andolini passes through Ellis Island's immigration line. It is there that, due to an immigration officer's carelessness, he is given the mistaken surname of Corleone, which is actually the village of his birth. Moments later, frightened young Vito is informed that he must spend a long stretch in confinement, due to the fact that he is suffering from tuberculosis. The whole process takes mere seconds, as the...

Death to Acer

I'm writing this post while recovering from a bout of Hulk-like rage, brought about by the sudden death of my Acer Aspire 3810T's screen. I should've known this would happen when I first removed the laptop from the box—the cover instantly struck me as having the strength of tin foil. Thankfully, I had a D-sub cable handy, and am thus able to get a modicum of morning work done while jacked into the clan's TV. But I need to make an afternoon trek down to J&R Music and Computer World to get...

Casketville

I've recently been reading up on the history of the Blackstone Rangers, the gang whose criminal entanglements contributed greatly to the post-1965 increase in Chicago's homicide rate. In the course of my research, I started wondering about how the Rangers' impact on the Second City compared to that of Al Capone's organization. I had long assumed that Prohibition had caused a brief yet astronomical uptick in Chicago's homicide rate, but it turns out that I was a bit mistaken—though...