Kyle Belote's Blog, page 22

3rd Painting

Just messing around…[image error]

2nd Painting

Rather enjoyed this one… thanks Bob Ross[image error]

1st painting

[image error]This was my first painting ever, and I did it a few months ago. I am no means an expert and made plenty of mistakes, but I had fun.

Sex in Writing: Part Two

This lesson, part two of “Sex in Writing,” speaks on topics like sexual tension, internal and external dialogue, point of view (POV), taboo, and the woman reader/writer preferences in a sex scene. This is meant to serve as a basis on how to begin exploring the art of writing sexual encounters and how to keep an audience in mind.

 

Sexual Tension

Sexual tension is arguably one of the most important aspects of writing a successful sex scene. It plays off of every other aspect and combines them to form the tone of the scene. Sexual tension doesn’t happen in these juicy scenes. It begins much earlier through character interaction in everyday life. Writing gratuitous sex is one thing (it goes by the name of erotica or smut), but a compelling sex scene, regardless of the goals of the characters, must be compelling. And if you want your scene to draw your reader in, make it believable. You’ve got to create sexual tension using this vulnerability to highlight the fear and emotion of the characters. Why do you think forbidden love is the most popular genre of romance? It’s sexy as hell and this is because of the sexual tension. You just need to create a reason for your characters not to do the nasty, then tear that reason to shreds.

 

Internal Dialogue

A lot of people don’t know about this one, or don’t think it’s important. But internal dialogue serves as a way to show character. If you’re not showing character while writing a sex scene, stop. That may work for erotica, but not anywhere else. This category works best if you are writing in first person or third person limited. Doing this with third person omniscient could lead to confusion as the characters thoughts could get jumbled together for the reader or it could be too much and the reader won’t get into the scene. The last thing you want to do is confuse a reader, regardless of content, but especially here. Too much can bring the reader out of the scene, much like anything else we write. The internal dialogue should be short and honest. No soliloquies. No having epiphanies. These are cliché and reek of amateur writing.

 

External Dialogue

External dialogue can be one of the most sexy parts of your scene. It’s where the characters are so lost in the lust of it all that only their primal voices emerge. The trick to external dialogue is not to be too vulgar or reach too far. These are easily identified as erotica techniques and can make the rest of your novel suffer, especially if you write with a particular voice. Don’t make your character be someone they aren’t. It has to be realistic. The best reference is yourself. When writing sexy dialogue, the key is to make the character so lost in the sensations that they are feeling that the only thoughts that can break through are ones they say as they catch their breath. For instance, my personal technique is to write within a gasp, to get it all in one suck in of air. To test this, say your phrases out loud to see if they have the effect you want.

 

POV

Here is an important topic. If you plan on having a sex scene in your novel, choose your point of view based on that. First person and third person limited are going to be your most personal accounts. Use these if you really want to give emotion. Internal dialogue will be better achieved with these. Third person omniscient would be more for the view. Use this one to be the most descriptive in a tactile and visual sense. It’s like you are writing it from all angles, seeing every reaction to every touch and word spoken. Not that you can’t get emotion here, but it’s going to come mostly from narration rather than the characters themselves.

 

Taboo

So, this is going to be a tender subject. I’m going to keep it brief. What are some taboo topics dealing with sex that you are aware of? Some that come to mind are incest, bestiality, teacher/student, etc. In dealing with all willful sex, unless the two parties involved didn’t know this was going on, you need a disclaimer (if it’s a minor scene that’s not developmental to the plot drop it or make it implied). You need to be crystal clear on what parties are involved and whether it is consensual. If it is not consensual, that’s a whole other matter altogether. I think it’s safe to say that everyone knows someone who was raped or molested. If you don’t, as bad as it is, you will one day. You are writing for an audience, and some of them will have gone through this. Unless you are writing it to highlight the negative aspects, it’s best not to write a detailed scene at all. You will put yourself at risk for negative feedback and possible shunning, so make sure you are aware of all the consequences with embarking on such dangerous topics. If you are writing it to be descriptive about something tragic, tread lightly. Don’t use too many details. Do what you have to do to get the point across. Rely more on the emotions of the character than the act, then move on. Use reflective memory to give any sort of specific details. This will also help with character portrayal.

P.S.Lesbian sex, not so taboo anymore. But gay sex, surprisingly, still is despite the rise in LGBTQ literature. If you don’t know what you are talking about, you could offend someone. So, do your research and tailor to your audience.

 

The Five Senses

As women, we have a million things running through our minds at all times. So, when writing from a woman’s perspective, that needs to be taken into account. When we have sex, we don’t want other worries creeping into our heads. We want the pleasure to overtake us and shut out everything else.

We want to focus on the TOUCH. Every tingle or even painful sensation. Whether something is cold or warm, gives us goose pimples or makes our bodies writhe.

We want to focus on the SIGHT of things. When things are getting really good, our eyes will most likely be shut. But before all that, or even in between, our eyes are open and we see everything and it’s all sexual. They way his mouth is curved in a smirk, his hungry eyes gazing up at you, the way the sweat glistens off of certain body parts. We make these observations in real life, so they need to be transferred to book form as well.

We want to focus on the SMELLS. Yes, I said smells. I’m not talking about the actual smells of sex. If you want to put those, that’s on you, but that is more consistent with smut. The smells I’m talking about are things like cologne, candles, food (i.e. chocolate, strawberries). What smell drives your character crazy and what’s the connection?

We want to TASTE. Again, let’s not be raunchy, but don’t be afraid to comment on the way he tastes. Did he just brush his teeth? Did he have some chocolate? Better yet, did he lick the chocolate off of your character? I’m getting ahead of myself. Subtle details can be the best ones.

Lastly, we want to HEAR. Maybe not everything. I don’t know about you, but actual “sex” noises are not attractive to me. I’m talking about moans, gasps, grunts, and best of all, dirty talk. When having sex, there is no moment where everything melts away. More like everything melds together and what we hear is the icing on the cake. Readers want to know if hearing the character’s significant other being pleased arouses their character, as well as the noises and phrases that came out of their own mouth.

You want to create a cacophony of senses and emotions and have them overwhelm your character to the point that nothing else can break their sexual bubble.

 

Preference

Most of women’s preference has to do with the five senses, but there are some kinky women out there and you need to appeal to your audience. That being said, if you haven’t tried it, you probably shouldn’t write about it. You don’t want to get called out for not knowing what you’re writing about. Or worse, writing a dry sex scene. Sex should never be dry. If you do choose to write about something you have limited experience with (I’m gonna say it loud for the people in the back) DO YOUR RESEARCH!

Preferences of most women have when reading sex scenes are:

The Bad Boy/Rough Guy: Usually gives a harder style of sex, but shows vulnerability when doing sensual sex.
Dominatrix/Submissive: Some women either want to be handled or do the handling.
Forbidden Fruit: This can include fantasies involving their boss, friend’s boyfriend, the bad boy, or even some taboo elements.
First Time: It’s all sensual and romantic, usually. Although, there are some that are rougher as a sign of the character throwing their chastity away.

There are definitely more, but when I googled women’s erotica preferences, these were among the top choices. There were others, but they were more in the fan-fiction genre.

Bottom line, if you don’t enjoy writing sex scenes, or you’re not aroused while writing them, you aren’t doing it right. Or, maybe, sex scenes just aren’t for you. And that’s OK. You can always use sexual tension and implied sex so you don’t have to write the details. Emotion is key and it’s driven off of the senses. Everything else builds from there. Just as well, if the sex doesn’t further character development or  plot, it is considered gratuitous. Gratuitous sex in a novel is generally frowned upon, unless you write romance (and even then, it can go too far). Always consider how the content will affect your readers and the potential marketability of your book.

 

I hope you guys enjoyed this post. I had a blast composing it and it was fun to present it to other writers who were contemplating including sexual scenes in their work. Now, I know we didn’t cover everything. We had a time frame to stay in, so  we chose specific information that seemed the most important. Let me know what you thought by commenting below or contacting me via social media or email. I’m always ready to listen to critiques or suggestions, as well as answer questions.

 

Happy Writing!

~A.E. Escence

aeescence@gmail.com

www.theescenceofthings.weebly.com

A.E. Escence on Facebook

Sex in Writing: Part 1

            Sex sells. Whether people are honest or not, they want sex. Some see it as something light and fun, others cradle it as something sacred and profound, but can it not also be fun and profound? For readers, unless it’s a romance/ erotica–and those are two very different genres–there almost always needs to be a reason for your characters to have sex other than horniness. In real life, if you are in the mood, you and your partner can get busy, but in the book world, it needs to be something more, especially if it’s the first time. Sex without revealing character is what the audience refers to as titillation. Erotica is different. We know why we are reading. We want sex. However, in other genres, sex is approached differently. Down the road, if you’re going to write a sex scene between two well-established characters, no problem, especially if they are well liked by your audience.

            That said, don’t drag this out. Don’t wait for four or five books for them to finally get it on but fade to black. The longer the tease, the more of a romp it needs to be. The payoff needs to be worth the wait. Your readers have been reading this sexual tension, this rise to climax (for lack of a better word) in their relationship. Don’t cheat them. The scene that is about to unfold can tell a reader much about their personalities as any conversation, action beat, or passage in your book, perhaps more so.

            Most of the time, though not always, you can tell who wrote a sex scene, a male or female author. There are small tells that a reader can pick up on. The perfect scene would be written in a manner that the reader cannot discern who wrote the scene. Male authors tend to focus on visual aspects because men are visual and physical creatures. They also focus on how something feels or how they are touched, the physical pleasure. Female authors tend to be more in touch with the other senses, smells, and emotions. A female friend––who also happens to be a writer––once told me that women want senses-overload and to get out of their head. This insight is invaluable. Without dragging this out like the buildup to a prominent scene, we are going to jump right into it. There will be two parts to this, mine and my friend’s, the woman mentioned above.            

Sex rules to follow:

            General Rule of Thumb: “If sex can reveal character and/or advance plot and/or increase tension, and the genre allows or encourages or permits sex, then the writer should think about including sex in the novel.”

1: There is no right or wrong way to write sex … on your first draft. Writing sex is about the revision, the added layers and textures, not the bare bones or about the deed itself.

Having said this, your first draft needs to be rough, dirty, and read almost like watching porn. The point is to get it down on paper, block out the movements/positions, and the culmination.
Do NOT edit when you are writing your first scene. Do not interrupt the flow. Do not get up from your computer!
If you cannot sit down and write out a sex scene without interruption or getting up, then don’t start.
Your first draft should make you cringe. Use every foul language and modern term to write the first draft.

2: If you are not turned on (at least on some level) by what you are writing, your reader isn’t either because it’s not an immersive experience, and that means they aren’t engaged or committed.

This reinforces the first point. However, authors have a tendency to inject their own preferences, biases, or prejudices into their works, and sex is no different.
If you are going to write about something that you have no experience in, then you must A): do your homework, and B): edit out your own preference, whether it is liking, loving, or hating.
If your character is supposed to love BDSM, but you don’t, it will show in your writing. If the sexual act is something you hate, it will show when you don’t write about it.

3: There are many different types of sex (kinks) and sex scenes out there.

There is the romance, erotica, love scenes, first-time excursion (virginal), forbidden fruit notion/mentality, reconnection, casual, fantasy-fulfillment…
Point three reinforces the previous point. Know your character, know your scene. Remember, sex is not perfect like it shows in movies, which is meant to arouse and be artful.
Sex can be funny, odd, tense, evoke anxiety or anxiousness. Sex can be used to set the tone or a new tone in your novel. It’s not always about gratification and the climax.

4: The act of sex is about love and/or pleasure; reading the act of sex is about the senses, to engage the reader.

How can sex be used to engage the reader other than the act?
It can show anatomical differences between different species (elves, trolls, werewolves, monster, etc.), historical references,
Expresses an aspect of character or spur further development of character.

5: Guys are visual creatures and will write more about how a woman looks and feels than anything else. While this is good for a male audience, it can be a turn off for others.

Men and women both view sex differently; they also write it differently.
In sex, details are great, but it is in the manner in which they are delivered which makes or breaks a scene. Guys, don’t get carried away describing breasts or lips or any body parts.
Ladies, don’t skim over or skip visual details that act as a stimulant for half your audience.         

6: Sex in the first person POV can have an impact on half of your audience and alienate to the other half…

Fifty Shades of Grey anyone?
While on the subject of FSOG, please, no inner goddesses.

Word choice––Mood killers:

What kills your mood when you are in the mood?

Headaches and body aches? Sickness? Tired? Whininess? Derogatory statements, repugnant stench, obnoxious behavior, bad habits/hygiene.

There are mood killers in novel-sex, too, but these happen to be the words used.

There are words to not use during a sex scene, unless intentional.

Clinical terms or medical terms: Penis, Vagina, erection, phallus, or any iteration thereof.
Derogatory and vulgar terms and words: cock, pussy, vag, dick, taint, boner, tits,,…
Comical Terms: yodeling in the gully, fun bags, choking the chicken, beating the bishop, love pillows, daisy chain, jerk the gurgan, the one-eyed wonder worm, rod of love, cotton pony,
Everyday Terms: If there is a modern term for a sex act, don’t use it unless you are explaining something in dialogue or summarizing, and even then, use it sparingly.


Take the above with a grain of salt. Rules are meant to be broken, and I can guarantee that someone has already used the above.

Another thing to consider is prose: You don’t want over-flowery language, yet beautiful sentences similar to poetry can be a good thing if done in moderation.           

Word Choice––Words you can use:

Not everyone is going to agree, and you cannot please everyone, but here are common words I have seen used across the genres

Men: length, arousal, firmness, hardness, manhood, member, tip, rod, shaft, staff, root
Women: core, sheath, sex, heat, wetness, flower, bud, globes, mounds, contours,
Both: Peak, backside, bottom, butt, rear, rear end, rump.

Repetition––The monotonous and dull side of sex and writing.

Repetition will kill a scene and a book.

If you are using the same word or phrase of words, this kills all steam and momentum you are building. It’s monotonous, just like in any other reading/passage.
I once read a book with very well written sex scenes (especially for amateurs), but they used cock in almost every sentence while giving the girl’s anatomy a plethora of words. This was a huge turn off and took me out of the scene


Same can be said of actions within the scene.
This is the best time to break out your thesaurus and think of new ways to describe body parts, motions, emotions, dialogue tags, and senses.            


Taking two movements and saying them in different ways: I am not advocating that I use all of these, but they are examples. Also, some just by reading them sound painful, so use them with great care.

Men: The act of sex: breach, burrow, bury, dart, delve, dip (into), embed, enter, fill, impale, insert, penetrate, pierce, plunge (into), press (down on or into), probe, prod, push, ravage, settle (between/into), sheath, shove, sink (into), spear, stab, thrust, tunnel,
Women: Anchor, bear (down on), cover, grind, rock (against), rotate, settle over (mouth or body), spread, straddle, surround, tangle/entangle, twine/entwine, sinking into someone/sliding down onto, riding tightened thighs, pulling hips down.

Detail––Too much detail

Detail is a staple in fantasy, learning about a new world, the magic system, their currency, customs and cultures, rites, religions, beliefs, and politics.

Too much detail in sex can turn away readers. In the world, American culture is more puritan than any other and shuns sex and sexuality. A prime example is 50 Shades of Grey rating around the world, R in America and PG-13 or less in European countries.

George R. R. Martin, the author of Game of Thrones, when referring to American culture, said, “I can describe an axe entering a human skull in great explicit detail, and no one will blink twice at it. I provide a similar description, just as detailed, of a penis entering a vagina, and I get letters about it and people swearing off. To my mind this is kind of frustrating, it’s madness. Ultimately, in the history of [the] world, penises entering vaginas have given a lot of people a lot of pleasure; axes entering skulls, well, not so much.”


When asked about if he (GRRM) has too much gratuitous sex and details:

“Well, I’m not writing about contemporary sex — it’s medieval. There’s a more general question here that doesn’t just affect sex or rape, and that’s this whole issue of what is gratuitous? What should be depicted? I have gotten letters over the years from readers who don’t like the sex, they say it’s “gratuitous.” I think that word gets thrown around and what it seems to mean is “I didn’t like it.” This person didn’t want to read it, so it’s gratuitous to that person. And if I’m guilty of having gratuitous sex, then I’m also guilty of having gratuitous violence, and gratuitous feasting, and gratuitous description of clothes, and gratuitous heraldry, because very little of this is necessary to advance the plot. But my philosophy is that plot advancement is not what the experience of reading fiction is about. If all we care about is advancing the plot, why read novels? We can just read Cliffs Notes. A novel for me is an immersive experience where I feel as if I have lived it and that I’ve tasted the food and experienced the sex and experienced the terror of battle. So, I want all of the detail, all of the sensory things — whether it’s a good experience or a bad experience, I want to put the reader through it. To that mind, detail is necessary, showing not telling is necessary, and nothing is gratuitous.” –GRR Martin.

Detail Continued

Sex can spice up your novel, make your reader focus, engage them, ensnare, but too much sex can make them bored, roll their eyes, skim, skip, or just plain quit reading.

Author Laurel K Hamilton (Anita Blake series) once spent thirty pages of sensory overload while her character thought about, fantasized, envision, daydreamed, and debated having sex with someone she just met. The character finally decided to have sex, and the scene was about three pages. In many ways, the lead up to the actual deed was far more detailed than the act itself, and the payoff did not live up to the tantalizing of the character before the engagement.


Best advice, let the scene get as big or as little as you want, then worry about adding to or editing down the length.
A tasty two-page romp that gives enough detail for you to understand what is going on is preferable to a twenty-page Olympic gods/ Greek tragedy sex scene.
A sizzling four-page that not only provides those same details but establishes things about your character is even better.

Size nor detail by themselves equates to an excellent or terrible scene.

The 5 Senses:

Guys are about visual and touch/physical feel.
Most of the time, though not always, you can tell who wrote a sex scene, a male or female author.
The perfect scene would be written in a manner that the reader cannot discern who wrote the scene.
Male authors tend to focus on visual aspects because men are visual and physical creatures. They also focus on how something feels or how they are touched, the physical pleasure.

Male Focus:

Guys will focus on what drives them. What guys can see with their eyes and get their hands on is what matters.

Those details tend to focus on breasts, backside, face, waist, maybe hair and eyes.
The only sensations guys tend to notice is the throbbing in their pants, the buildup of blood, and the sting/itch/yearn to release their seed upon the world.

Women writing men need to remember these details. Also, remember that men express their feelings and love (and receive love) through sex more than words and action.  
Guys writing guys need to mention these details but not focus on them. Focus on everything but this.       

Preferences: To Be or Not to Be Vanilla.

Don’t shy away from sex that is not “your” type of sex.
The puritan view is that sex is between a husband and wife. Marine Corps stipulates with an Order that you may only have sex in the missionary position.
There is more to sex than this or vanilla preferences.

Remember: It’s not about your preference, your taste, your desires but that of your character.
Just because it isn’t for you doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
However, DON’T FEEL OBLIGATED because someone pressures you into writing something.
You are under no obligation to appease anyone. In the end, it is your novel, your story, and you decide what goes in it.


If you want to write sex scenes but not about male on male or female on female, then don’t.
There is a big push in modern culture to make Americans and the world think there are more gays and lesbians than there really is. This isn’t a knock against any who is or their affiliations.

The 2000 U.S. Census Bureau found that homosexual couples constitute less than 1% of American households, and the Family Research Report estimates “around 2-3% of men, and 2% of women, are homosexual or bisexual.      


Remember: A sex scene doesn’t necessarily mean that sex must occur, but other forms and variants of it.

Other sexual preferences:

The mild to the downright bizarre, it all exists in the world, and therefore, should–theoretically–exist in your world.

Pinching, spanking, hair pulling, tying up, biting, scratching, blindfolding, gagging…
BDSM (Bondage Discipline/Domination Submission and Masochism), humiliation sex, play-acting scenarios, anal sex, fantasy/wish fulfillment, body suspension fetish,            
choker/ collar fetish, harness restraint, pleather,
Group sex, swingers, two-on-one, threesomes, polyamory.                                                      

Dialogue Tags: How to Say Something During Sex:

For those who hate any dialogue tag other than said, this is the time to put your hang-up in time out.

Said will not add to the flavor you weave in the scene.
Use alternatives that enhance the sensual nature: purred, cooed, whispered, breathed, whimpered, teased.

There is a lot more to sex scene than what is covered, but this is the starting point, a good guideline to help you craft your next enticing scene. As stated earlier, this is part one of two. I hope this helps you and you found it entertaining

Sins of The Last Jedi

Love makes you blind to flaws, doesn’t allow you to see past your passion, at least at the start of any relationship. Only when we have become disillusioned over time, do we see people for what they are. This is called the infatuation stage. Love makes you blind, but time allows for clarity. This is said of humans, but also can be said of movies and franchises. We should step back and reevaluate. This isn’t the Star Wars of the 70’s and 80’s, nor is it the prequel era. This isn’t George Lucas’s Star Wars, this is Disney Star Wars, and despite what many believe, not everything Disney touches turns to gold. Many people will say, “But it’s still Star Wars.” Yes and no. When United Airlines bought PetSafe–a company who had an insane approval rating on transporting pets around the globe and considered the best in the business–they plummeted as the go-to service. Pets were dying left and right and still are. In 2017, eighteen of the twenty-four pet deaths were because of United. Now, PetSafe is synonymous with–and brings a whole new meaning to–chance. Another quick example would be Apple. If Google bought the company–or some other conglomerate–would it still be Apple? Or Marvel? What if Lionsgate purchased the mega comic-movie business like when Disney bought it? Would it still be the same as when Marvel was only Marvel-owned?

A friend of mine (I mean, I hope we are still friends after all TLJ debates and arguments) told me that if I loved Star Wars, I had to love all aspects of it, and couldn’t pick and choose which I wanted. She said I had to love all the flaws and go with “the spirit of intent and understand what they were trying to do.” I understand they are trying to destroy a franchise with the NF given attitude. She also equated I wasn’t a real fan because I didn’t bow to the all-encompassing, unconditional love for the movie(s). To me, being ignorant of the flaws sounds more like infatuation. Unconditional love is like blind obedience, and look how well that turned out for everyone at the Nuremberg trials. Their plea of ‘just following orders’ did not save them, nor should it. Then again, I’ve had to follow orders I didn’t agree with either; same can be said of laws. Unconditional love is absolute, and there is nothing absolute–except for death and taxes. You do not profess unconditional love at the alter–if so, you’d still be married after your wife or husband is caught for being a serial killer. I mean, maybe you would if you liked that kind of crazy. At best, marriage is conditional love, as is being a parent. Think of how many men and women walk away from their children when they are just kids. How many more so if they are found to be thieves, rapists, pedophiles, and murderers?

The point I am making is this blind adherence to something or someone. People attack others for having a different perspective, opinion, or belief. If everyone thought the same, how boring would this world be? Imagine the movies? They would be carbon copies … and I mean, they are rehashes of other movies. And the books?

I digress.

Before Disney bought Star Wars and discarded the whole expanded universe, I borderlined on fanatic. I purchased and read over one hundred and twenty of the paperback books, collected hundreds of comics and toys. I could recite to you Luke Skywalker’s life. When my friend told me I couldn’t be critical of Star Wars (SW) and be a true fan, I reminded her of this significant portion of my life. How many hundreds or thousands of dollars did I spend–and continuously spent after they killed off Chewbacca and Anakin and Jacen Solo–on something I didn’t love? She said, “None of that matters anymore, only what Disney is doing.” Really? Sounds exact opposite of what she is preaching, loving all aspects of SW.

When Disney announced they were going to do a sequel trilogy with the original cast, I knew Disney would kill off the original three because ‘what better way to propel the story?’ Plus, they were getting up there in age. The fact that Han and Luke died does not bother me. Han’s death doesn’t bother me, it served a purpose, making Ben fall deeper into the dark side. Luke’s? In some ways, the compulsion to be moved came on strong as he stared off into the distance, seeing Tatooine’s twin suns, and John Williams’s new rendition of Binary Sunset. Moved, but hollow, serving a meaningless purpose in the grand scheme. More on that later. To be honest, the only thing bothering me about The Force Awakens (TFA) is taking Han Solo, the coolest SW character without a mask, and turned him into a deadbeat dad. I don’t want to read a book or view a movie that plops me back into a real situation. I peruse and watch Sci-Fi and fantasy to escape, to go somewhere else.

Sorry to say, this rambling happens to be a precursor to the actual blog. From here, I will be talking about the film. The rest is the background to what finally fueled this rant/ blog. Actually, you can thank my cousin. I hadn’t written about this before because I didn’t want to scramble for the bandwagon with everyone else, but I may repeat some things from others. I am a huge fan, and I will be approaching this not only as a fan but as a writer, too. I will be critical, maybe nitpicky to some of you, but I want to make my points. Further, what may be a small detail to you is a glaring one for me. As they say, the devil is in the details. Agree or disagree, I would love your comments at the end and will happily debate/talk about it. I will pull from all the movies and the now-deleted Expanded Universe of SW.

Here we go.

A long time ago, before they tried to destroy a great, great franchise … but Lucas took a stab at it, but sorta redeemed himself with Revenge of the Sith (ROTS)…

Star Wars is not dead, but it is a withered husk. How Disney treats Episode IX (and Solo) will determine if this hiccup we call The Last Jedi (TLJ) is the death keel. I would like to point out something very, very simple in the SW universe. The movies–and most books–are about family. That is the purest, most authentic form of SW. Father and son, mother and daughter, siblings, aunts and uncles, the family drives SW. Sure, you can say, “not-ugh, it’s about good vs. evil.” True, but to me, that is secondary because all stories on some level are about good vs. evil or some variant thereof.

Let’s start with TFA (by the way, I will be using initializations like the previous one to talk about the movies, so if you don’t know them, brush up real quick). TFA is a rehash of ANH. No problem! I get it! You’re looking for a familiar way back into a franchise once considered dead after the dreaded prequels. The Resistance destroyed Starkiller (SK) base, a freaking planet! After ANH, there is a three-year gap between it and ESB. During that time, they built Vader’s command ship, the Executor, and it nearly bankrupted the Empire, or so the expanded universe (EU) had said. It took three years for the Empire to hunt down the rebellion after the first Death Star’s destruction. But here is TLJ, and the First Order (FO) is stronger than ever. Did the Resistance just blow up their superweapon? “Nah, it’s okay. Didn’t hurt. We got Snoke’s ship, a damn super, duper Star Destroyer (I think they call it mega SD), a super weapon in and of itself.” But the FO has gathered and is hunting the Resistance who attacked SK base. Really? Didn’t they fight a big battle or something and a lot of ships were destroyed? I mean, if the Resistance is hurting, how much more so is the FO? Plus, wouldn’t the FO be stretched across the galaxy to engage on multiple war fronts to harass and destroy their enemy?

So, sin number one, not addressing the devastating setback the FO had from TFA. And if you say, “well, it wasn’t a setback, obviously,” then I would say the New Republic (NR) is the biggest moron in the galaxy. If the FO possess the means in which to attack en mass after SK base is destroyed, then they are a much more significant threat than the Empire at the height of power and nulls any argument about why the NR ignored the FO.

Forced banter. The opening with Poe and General Hux is cringe-worthy. I knew I was in for a terrible movie with the opening tirade. And the acting on Hux’s part is too over the top. The guy, Domhnall Gleeson, can act. I’ve seen him do it, but the character Hux is too much. So, a bash on the character, not Gleeson. Still, it wasn’t funny, and the titters I heard from the crowd were nervous and forced. So, sin two: approaching SW as a comic, campy, popcorn flick. As a writer, I would have cut–no, I wouldn’t have written it in the first place. So, that’s a few sins rolled into one.

While we are talking about the opening scene of TLJ, let’s talk science. There is no gravity in space, ergo the bombs wouldn’t have dropped! In the atmosphere of the ship? Maybe. But once out of the artificial gravity, they would have floated. Now, a simple CGI fix with little rocket propellers would save you there. Or better yet, a simple line saying. “Drop those magnetic bombs and get the hell out of there. They seek out the largest source, but you won’t be safe from the blast!” Cool, I get it. You covered your ass. Sin three: ignoring science. And yes, even in fantasy–because SW is fantasy more than anything else–you cannot bend those rules because it will look cool. The crowd isn’t stupid. Granted, lightspeed at this point is theoretical other than light itself, as in we cannot achieve it, but that’s the “Fi” of the “Sci.”

Luke Skywalker: the unsentimental, hermit Jedi. Okay, dude, you could be more graceful than tossing the relic away. Poor Rey held out her arm for two years for you to take the lightsaber, and then you chuck it over your shoulder? Seriously though, this scene makes no sense. Here, a stranger who managed to track you down and hands you your first lightsaber. If I’m Luke, here’s my reaction. “Who are you? How did you find me? Was it with the map I left? Is that my father’s lightsaber? Where did you get it? I lost it long ago in a duel above a gas planet called Bespin. How did you get it? Did you happen to see a hand with it, too?” Another note is Luke’s hand. It’s mechanical, and it’s opened to the elements. Where’s the skin, dude? Why didn’t you get it covered back up? How is it still working after being on this humid-as-hell planet? Rust much?

Does no one remember this scene from ANH? Ben pulling the lightsaber out of a chest. “This was your father’s lightsaber. He wanted you to have it when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn’t allow it.” First, holy shit, it’s his dad’s lightsaber! Two, Ben, his friend and mentor gave it to him. Three, he based his lightsaber design off his father’s as stated in ROTJ by Emperor Palpatine. Yes, it doesn’t look like it, but it’s canon. So, yeah, I’m going to toss this thing over my shoulder and storm off. Sin four: no sentimentality. Sin five: ignoring more science, water, salt, humidity, and the metal in his mechanical hand.

And before I forget… we never got the answer to how or why Maz had it in TFA, so, sin six.

I got a crap-ton more to say about Luke, but I’ll come back to him.

Kylo Ren. You had a cool helmet, though you playacted like the new Darth Vader. Why did you destroy it, your personification in the first film? Snoke made fun of you, so you got rid of it? Way to give into bullying. I think your subordinates were more terrified of you with the mask. And the unnecessary shirtless scene? We knew Rey could see him because, in the first Force-connection, she shot at him. So, the whole explanation, “it showed she could see him,” doesn’t hold water. But since we are going for shirtless scenes, I expect Rey’s in the next film … can’t wait! Yes, that’s sarcasm. Sin … what are we on now? Seven for getting rid of the helmet, because now it means nothing to you? Eight for giving into Snoke’s bullying (yes, that’s sarcasm). And nine, for the unnecessary shirtless scene (not sarcasm). The latter is nitpicky, sure, but I am set on the helmet-identity thing. He wishes to emulate his grandfather.

But Kylo Ren is a very conflicted character, and you can almost see his anguish and the war within him, the light and the dark. I am unsure if he killed Han or if Han did the self-sacrifice. Still, at times, Ben does act like a petulant child. If you are the next big badass, at least act like it instead of throwing temper tantrums like smashing that cool helmet and screaming to subordinates who happen to be standing there, “Ready my ship!” They were probably like, “Who the hell is this guy?”

Finn. This could’ve been a cool character with an astonishing story arc … until Johnson screwed him. That we know of, he is the first stormtrooper to defect. Stellar starting point! In TFA, he ran away from his problems. He lied and pleaded and pretended to be someone he wasn’t to get away. When he could have gone to the Resistance, he went to board a ship headed for the Outer Rim (Maz’s cantina scene right before the FO shows up). He was going to leave superfly Rey, bouncing ball BB-8, and the legendary, leather-clad Han Solo to flee. Then, to save Rey, he does something heroic, he leads Han to SK base, and they blow it up. In TLJ, as soon as he wakes up and sees that Rey is gone and safe, he tries to flee again. This is superb and in line with the established character. Then, he gets roped into a pointless side quest (will discuss later). But, his character comes full circle, and he finds a cause worthy of fighting for (the Resistance) and decides to sacrifice himself to save everyone, even if it is a stall tactic. He commits to dying. I rooted for him to succeed, not because I hated him and wanted him to die, but because it would be such a fantastic arc and more resonance than anything in the new trilogy to date. He speeds up, passes everyone who pulls back. He closes on the death ray (I forgot the name), and despite the pain, he endures. He’s closing. This is going to be amazing! Epic! And then fucking Rose, out of nowhere, slams into him, stopping him from saving everyone. Way to go Disney and Rian Johnson!

How did this happen? Finn passed her a long time ago. He lurched forward at full throttle! How did she loop around to the side, pass him up, and then turn toward him and save the day when they are using old, rusty speeders? Was hers faster? Was he driving a go-cart and she had the one with the NASCAR engine? This is scientifically inaccurate. If both cars can travel the same speed, and car 1 is traveling in a straight line, car 2 cannot pass car 1 by driving in an arc. Hasn’t Rose or anyone in SW watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan? “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.” Rose, your lovey-dovey feelings don’t matter next to the annihilation of the Resistance. Where the hell did those feelings come from? I mean, you spent two days with Finn on an opulent planet, and now you love him? Damn, Finn got skills. Either that or Rose is the shallowest person in existence. Didn’t Rose tase him at the beginning of the movie for desertion? Didn’t she find the act repulsive? Alright, whatever… Let’s count the sins: ten, for not killing Finn when his storyline/ sacrifice may have been the best in the entire franchise. Right now, I am giving it to Jyn Erso in RO. God, I loved Felicity Jones in the movie! Eleven: for giving him a Disney ending with Rose. Twelve: for making Rose adore him in two days (Disney Princess much?) when she stood in awe of him at the beginning of the film. Thirteen: for the lame-ass kiss we endured and one-liner she gave. I mean the kiss was so terrible she passed out.

Rose. You are by far one of the most useless characters in the SW franchise. This is not an attack on the actor but the character. Johnson conjured her up for what purpose? For Finn to travel with and make a forced-poignancy moment for social justice on the casino planet? The galaxy is a vast, dirty place. I mean, Anakin was a slave for the Force’s sake! We don’t need a preaching moment to shove the point home. We got it way back in the day (1999), and even then, there wasn’t a point to drive home. It wasn’t about making points, it was the story, nothing more. I mean, the irony of Anakin being born into slavery but becoming a tyrant that helped enslave the galaxy is epic. Another character with a more significant role than Rose is Jar Jar Binks. He turned the galaxy over to Palpatine. He, one of the most hated characters in the SW franchise, has been supplanted by Rose (well, to be fair, it’s a toss-up between the two). Still, he had a purpose. Rose, the travel buddy, stopped the most significant moment of TLJ from happening. So, Rose, I fine you another sin (fourteen), do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars, and may God grant mercy on your soul, but I’d be fine if he didn’t.

This next point, the casino planet storyline ties in with Rose as it shouldn’t have happened. The fact it did is another sin: fifteen. They accomplished nothing, and in the book-writing world, your publisher is going to make you cut it. Further, it was only in the story because Laura Dern’s character, Vice Admiral Holdo, is the most incompetent Resistance commander ever (we’ll get to that). They park on a beach, go to a casino, get arrested before reaching the slicer they needed, escape, and destroy the city because…?–you don’t like how the other side lives or agree with their choices? Destroying property and lives because you think you’re right and they’re wrong is a stellar message! Not. So, they escape the planet not with the slicer they needed, but with a street urchin, hobo-looking Benicio Del Toro. And the whole thing ends terribly and without accomplishing what they set out to do. Sure, the ship gets destroyed, but not because of them. Plus, Poe said, “Let’s destroy the ship,” and Rose and Finn were like, “Nah, even if you did, that wouldn’t work,” which set off the whole stupid quest. So, for the storyline: sin fifteen. Epic fail in the storyline and not accomplishing anything that added gravity or substance to the tale: sixteen.

Captain Phasma’s lame death is another sin: seventeen. They killed her off in TFA, but Rian brings her back. How did she escape the garbage compactor and get off the planet before it blew up? It’s not like she had a droid on the comm to help her. So, you bring her back just to die after seven minutes of screen time? Talk about lame. The way the female characters have been portrayed thus far (by the writing itself) is terrible and almost criminal. Phasma is a neat character that falls flat despite being a female stormtrooper in charge with chrome-plated armor. You have such potential here, and you plan to give her a quick death? “Yep, sure am. Kill her in a five-minute window of the second movie while not explaining how she got there, and she’ll be remembered forever!” And yes, that’s sarcasm. By the way, not explaining how she survived, sin eighteen. Phasma served no purpose. Also, Finn killed her, and he wasn’t the best of stormtroopers and needed reconditioning. You take the strongest and make her succumb to the ‘weakest.’ In a deleted scene, Phasma gunned down four other troopers but still couldn’t take our Finn? Are you kidding? How are we supposed to respect her as a relevant character when you treat her like that? It starts with the writers…

Vice Admiral Holdo. A terrible leader who cared more about cutting the balls off her pilots than keeping them informed. Granted, she doesn’t answer to Poe, but an average leader will see or intuit when there is dissension among the ranks. If she is so fantastic of a leader, why did she not see the kind of atmosphere she was creating? When I write characters like this, they usually get killed for their stupidity. Instead, she’s hailed as a sacrificing hero. So, for being a terrible character, that’s sin nineteen. When she uses the terrible line to Leia about why she can’t come with her. “Someone needs to fly the ship.” Are you kidding me? Never heard of freaking autopilot? I mean, our jets have the feature. Granted, it’s limited in function, but it can fly straight… in a futuristic setting, the autopilot can do almost everything! So, her lame excuse is the twentieth sin.

Dues Ex Machina. Pronounced (Day-oos eks MAH-kee-nah) is a trope seen in movies, tv shows, novels, and comics, and in this case, it is the twenty-first sin. Dues Ex Machina is when an event, character, ability, or any iteration thereof solves an unsolvable problem in a sudden and unexpected way. This is done numerous times in TLJ, but a major one is when the old Rebel base (the planet they were running to) magically appears, and everything clicks into place for the Resistance. In other words, had Holdo informed Poe, we’d save ourselves from a terrible side quest, and she wouldn’t go down as the worst commander in the SW franchise, right behind Admiral Ozzel. Dues ex is often used when an author writes themselves into a corner, and there was plenty of pulling the rabbit out of the hat with TLJ.

Snoke. You don’t build up a character as the next emperor and then unceremoniously kill him off (sin twenty-two) at a random time. I realize you’re going to scream, “Well, they did the same with Darth Maul!” No, they didn’t. Maul was never the big baddie in the flick, but a tool for Palpatine to use, like Dooku/ Tyrannus. And, he didn’t die. Watch the Clone Wars TV series and Rebels. Sin twenty-three comes from not explaining anything about Snoke before killing him. Who is he? Where is he from? How did he come into power? Where did he learn about the Force? Did he hide from Palpatine? Did the emperor know of him? Was Snoke, at one point, ever considered as a viable replacement for Vader? What species is Snoke? Also, if Snoke was powerful enough to connect Rey and Kylo’s mind in a Force FaceTime, wouldn’t he sense Kylo’s imminent betrayal? The fact he didn’t makes him weak and lame. He could pull Ben Solo under his sway and seduce him to the dark side. Not only that, he had the power to keep the young pup in check despite Luke being afraid of Ben’s abilities. When put in that context, his death and lack of being able to discern it doesn’t make sense.

Leia. I love Carrie, and I am sad she passed. I am never bothered when celebrities pass, but I paused for a moment of silence for Robin Williams, and I wept when I found out about Carrie. She is, was, will always be, my princess. All said, her Force ability in outer space, while cool, flies in the face of science. Now, Luke did something similar in the EU, but he also had help from his wife, Mara Jade. He shut down his body, and the Force sustained him. Plus, if my memory serves correctly, he held a sphere of air around him with the Force. Had they done the same with Leia, no one would say anything. Instead, she survives in the vacuum of space for who knows how long. Sin twenty-four: defying science again by having Leia survive in space without a Force bubble holding oxygen around her body or space suit.

Sin twenty-five: lightspeed as a weapon. In the EU, lightspeed (LS) cannot be used as a weapon because when someone is traveling at LS and comes too close to a large enough gravity well, it will pull said ship from LS. So, in TFA, when Han approached SK base at LS, he wouldn’t need to disengage the hyperdrive as the planet would jerk him from hyperspace. Now, Snoke’s mega SD would be large enough for its own gravity shadow and pull any ship from LS. And if you think not, fine, but the entire fleet around his ship would add to the gravity well. Using LS as a weapon negates every SW movie up till now. First off, I doubt Vice Admiral Holdo is the first person to think of LS as a weapon. Second, if you can use it as a weapon, then why didn’t the rebel alliance back in ANH send one X-wing up into space with a droid and LS into the first Death Star, or the second one for that matter, or SK base in TFA? In fact, why not pull the trick out every time an enemy comes at you with superior numbers? You can defeat an entire enemy force with one ship and one droid, so cost is low. Why didn’t they do the maneuver at the beginning of TLJ with the massive dreadnaught instead of sending all those bombers in to blow up and die with all those pilots? Granted, a stunning visual effect, but in the grand scheme, something that looks cool but kills the logic of all the movies is a no-win situation.

Yoda. While I am hesitant to claim Yoda’s appearance is a sin–for he is quite a loveable character–his final teaching moment is not acted upon by Yoda’s greatest and failed student. Yoda delivers a pep talk to kick Luke in the pants and he … gets involved by staying home in his pajamas? When you come to a moment like this, when someone essential breaks through to the hero, this is the turning point in the novel/ movie. Yoda’s appearance is more of an appeasement to fans, a subtle… “I screwed up this motion-picture so here’s something you love.” This cinematic feature is very much a bait and switch, and Yoda’s appearance feels random as hell. In the EU, Yoda never appeared to Luke other than at the end of ROTJ. It was Obi-Wan who appeared to him, and after five years, he never came again. This passage can be found in the novel Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn, the godfather of SW EU. He kicked it off and did a fantastic job. I’m paraphrasing here, but Ben says, “The distance has become too great for me to come to you anymore. You are to go forth alone. Your path is yours.” Luke then has a deep sentiment of being “The Last Jedi,” to which Obi-Wan says, “Not the last of the old Jedi, the first of the new.” So, take this however you will. I am not saying Yoda is a sin, but the inaction taken by his appearance is a sin, so that’s twenty-six.

Mechanics of the activation plate on a lightsaber. The little nob at the top of the lightsaber is not the activation plate, but the lens adjuster for the crystals within, a subject thoroughly covered in the EU. Anakin had a multi-crystal saber, and the focus lens allows him to adjust the length of his blade. The activation plate is about halfway down the hilt of the saber, where Luke and Anakin activated it countless times in the movies? So why do Finn and Rey always turn it on at the top? It’s irritating. That’s at least a half sin … but we’ll round up: twenty-seven.

Where is Luke’s lightsaber? This is something else that bothered me. I doubt he’d destroy it. I mean, he did keep his X-wing tucked away under the swells of the ocean. Why would he do that he if never planned to leave? Even in his Force projection, he had his father’s lightsaber, not his own–which, if you want to get serious, reinforces why he wouldn’t have chucked it over his shoulder. If the purpose is to make Kylo more unstable, the green blade would put a crap-ton more fear into him. I mean, didn’t he see it hovering above him when Luke went to kill Ben? Luke, unless the galaxy’s biggest idiot, would keep some form of defense for himself, either a blast or saber, especially if he “closed” himself off from the Force. Sin twenty-eight.

Now, I am going to shift focus and talk about Luke and Rey. I saved these two-story points for last.

Rey. I love Rey as much as Jyn Erso, and Daisy does an absolute, fantastic job. Sure, the first few scenes in TFA were rough, but whatever. I don’t hold it against her. I also don’t hold the way she is written against Daisy. Anyone who takes this as a knock against her, well, then the fault and problem lies with you. I am critical of the character because it is written poorly, not because I’m misogynistic. I realize many of you have heard the term Mary Sue, and while it can be a derogatory term, there is a reason there is a term for it. If it wasn’t an issue, there would never be a term. Mary Sue is, for the most part, directed at females, but it can be a male, too (I think it’s called Marty Stu or Gary Stu–Superman anyone?). I didn’t coin the phrase, I am not defending or condemning it, but I am using it for this context. There are many different definitions of the term, but for this example, we will state it: “Mary Sue is beautiful but unique, as is her cool, exotic name. She’s exceptionally talented in a wide variety of ways, seemingly a master of multiple crafts with little to no training and possesses skills that are rare or nonexistent to other characters in the story. She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws. What flaws are possessed are considered endearing more than actual flaws. More often than not, these types of characters are used for author inserts or wish fulfillment. There are both male and female versions of this trope. Mary Sue is derogatory because she’s so perfect that it makes for lame storytelling.”

Okay, so now that we established the definition, we can continue. From above, Rey fits. I understand many of you–including Daisy herself–don’t like the term, but just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or isn’t true. I’m not fond of mentally and emotionally weak people who blame their actions on inanimate objects, but they still exist. Rey fits because she can fly a ship (her first time btw), sabotage the vessel, fix said ship while taking off or flying through hyperspace; speaks the Wookie language; is an excellent shot with a pistol and can wield a lightsaber. She held her own against Kylo Ren–a trained Jedi or Sith acolyte–and Snoke’s bodyguards. She can also use the Force to mind control others, snatch objects, overpower other Force wielders, or clear out a hundred boulders with ease. In gamer terms, she’s OP AF. Now, I don’t remember Luke being able to do that in ANH or ESB. In fact, had he not tapped into his anger in ROTJ, I doubt he’d beat Vader. Luke struggled to lift rocks and a droid on Dagobah and trained with one of the greatest Jedi Masters to ever live: Yoda. Please explain how Rey can do all this. In most stories, there is a valid reason the hero/protagonist is fantastical. Batman is not a superb fighter because he’s rich or because of his suit, but because he spent countless hours honing his body into a lethal fighting weapon. If we started watching a movie (having no idea who Batman is) and watched him kick the crap out of twenty people with firearms, I would say he’s OP and a Gary Stu. However, if you showed me how he became phenomenal, the years spent training in his craft (think Batman Begins), then I wouldn’t believe that. After he returned to Gotham and dressed like a bat, he still wasn’t perfect and got hit often enough.

Imagine if the roles were reversed, and Adam Driver played Ray, a badass dude from nowhere who kicked the shit out of Kyla Ren (Daisy) with no training. How much criticism would he receive? In books, we need to discover why your protagonist is incredible. We need to understand why they can call upon powers no one else possesses, or travel through time, or live in exile for fear of wiping out humanity… There has to be a reason; otherwise, your character is not memorable and is written poorly. Take Alice, Milla Jovovich’s character in the Resident Evil movies. She is a prime example of a Mary Sue, but there are reasons as to why she is so overpowering and are explained (for the most part). Did she start out that way in the first film? No. It began as a journey to gather her powers. This type is not frowned upon because there are explanations and reasons why she became what she did. To make her character more relatable, they took away her powers.

Another example of an OP Rey is at the end of TLJ where she moves dozens, if not hundreds, of boulders out of the way. Compare her to Luke in ESB. Many people say, “Oh, well, Rey is the prodigy archetype.” Okay, then Rey is the prodigy archetype, but a prodigy must learn their gifts despite their raw potential or born, innate abilities. They cannot miraculously be able to stand toe to toe with others without some phase of guidance and education. They do not wake up one day and pluck the theory of time travel out of thin air, or in this case, Force powers and lightsaber training. More to the point, while some people say that Luke is the everyday man, others also argue that he, too, is a prodigy.

Take Luke’s first appearance and compare it to Rey’s. Luke got beat up by Tusken Raiders. Han yells at him every chance he gets, and Leia disregards him. Luke can’t deflect a blaster bolt to save his life and scarcely felt a glimmer while learning about the Force for the first time aboard the Millenium Falcon. But he can fly his T-16 and shoot womp rats no bigger than two meters, so that’s a plus. Still, he cannot understand Artoo without Threepio and has no clue what Chewie is saying. Rey can fly the Falcon, fix the Falcon, outmaneuver trained TIE pilots, can talk to droids and Chewie, acquired Force abilities such as telekinesis, mind probe resistance, Jedi Mind Trick, and unparalleled skill in combat against Kylo. That would be like Luke defeating Vader in ANH. The long and short of it, if I tallied a sin for each of those infractions for Rey and TLJ, we’d jump a dozen at the minimum, but I’ll count one for sin twenty-nine.

Now, here is some speculation filled with hopeful wishes. Maybe Rey is a Skywalker, which would make more sense in the overall context. As a child, kids pick up multiple languages easier than adults, which is why she can speak the Wookie language if she grew up around Chewbacca. She’s abnormally strong in the Force. Anakin had more *cough* midichlorians than any other Jedi to include Yoda. Luke is arguably more impressive, given his exploits in the now-deleted EU. How much more so if Rey is his daughter?

Some of you are saying, she can’t be because Luke would have recognized her. No, not true. Look how young she looks when dropped off on Jakku. What if Luke hadn’t seen her for years before, and she went into protective custody for her safety? Would renegade Imperial Warlords want to kill the offspring of Skywalker in retaliation for defeating the Empire? Rey said she had seen the tree that held the Jedi text. True, she said it was in a dream, but how do we know she didn’t visit before, and the dream is a repressed memory? If she is a Skywalker, that means she most likely had training prior to her being sent off. What is more, if we are using the Force for massive things like astral projection across the galaxy, who’s to say it cannot be used to block or suppress memories? Perhaps the block is wearing off at suppressing her latent Force abilities. Plus, let us not forget: Han seemed to recognize her, and Ben Solo did, too. And … after Han’s death, Leia hugged Rey instead of Chewbacca–I’m still scratching my head at that one. But why didn’t Luke recognize her through the Force? Well, Rey said it in the movie, he cut himself off from the Force. That I can recall off the top of my head, Luke only used the Force around four times, to reach out to Leia, to snatch up something to fight Rey with, to stop himself from falling, and using it for astral projection.

Without dragging into everything about Rey, we will sum it up with the above, but the last point I want to make is her backstory which is the thirtieth sin. You taunt fans with who she is in TFA and in TLJ you ignore it until Ben says, “They were nobodies, drunks who sold you for drink money.” I understand what Rian Johnson did. He told her (and fans) the most devastating thing she could hear at the moment, much like Vader did to Luke. Don’t forget, many folks thought Vader lied in the crucial moment. If Rey was a nobody, sold by her parents for drink money, why did they fly off in a beautiful ship in TFA? Why didn’t they sell the ship? Crazy things do happen, but it’s a stretch for parents to sell a child and keep their vessel… Seems to me she was put on Jakku for her protection, kinda like Luke on Tatooine. If the Force can make lightning and astral project across the entire galaxy, I think it could block out the identity of her parents and obscure her early years Force training, say with her dad, Luke.

I digress.

Luke. Mark Hamill has been critical of what Rian Johnson did to Luke. He was very outspoken about it until Disney shut him up. Now, Hamill apologized and back-pedaled, but we discern the truth. He’s on record for stating this is not Lucas’s Luke but someone else’s. Moreover, Hamill fundamentally disagreed with everything Johnson did. I am not attacking Mark Hamill, the actor–I idolized him for years (Luke Skywalker), and he is my favorite character from the original trilogy other than Vader–but the portrayal of Luke to fulfill Johnson’s vision. As the biggest draw for TLJ, he could have stuck to his guns and told Johnson, “Fix this garbage you call a story.”

Luke wants to kill Ben: Luke’s main story in the original trilogy–at least to me–is about coming to a point in his life where he can either defeat or redeem his father. In my mind, Yoda and Obi-Wan had written Anakin off as irredeemable and molded Luke into a weapon to destroy the Sith. Perhaps because of Luke’s optimism, he sensed good in his father. When Luke defeats Vader, it is a hollow victory and not the climax of the film. It is the redemption of Vader and saving Luke from the emperor that is the actual climax. Luke sought to liberate his father from the dark side, a man who murdered children in the Jedi Temple, who attacked fellow Jedi and Jedi Masters alike, engaged in domestic abuse (Force choked Padme when it wasn’t kinky-time), killed countless rebels, and was party to decimating an entire planet and genocide. And these are the things we know about. What did he do those eighteen years while Luke grew up hating sand because it’s coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere? This makes no sense when Luke wants to kill Ben Solo because of bad dreams and what he perceived to see in his heart. Didn’t Luke watch Terminator 2? “There’s no fate but what we make for ourselves!” If Luke could say his father is redeemable, how can he want to kill his nephew? I am sorry die-hard fans with blind loyalty, this is terrible, terrible writing with little to no planning. Luke is a Jedi, he doesn’t kill out of anger or emotion as portrayed in the film. Sin thirty-one.

Luke as a failure: My heart went out to Luke here. He failed his masters and Yoda’s last edict. Well, no, not in its entirety. He did pass on what he learned, but the Jedi Order was destroyed by a young boy. So, still failed because he went into hiding and cut himself off from the Force instead of trying again. The fact he went into hiding/exile doesn’t bother me, but staying there does. Luke wouldn’t mope for years on end. This is sin thirty-two. He’d analyze where he went wrong, pep-talked himself to death, and went back out there. Luke faced down Palpatine and Vader, two of the most formidable Sith ever, what is Snoke and a boy to him? Remember, Palpatine is the culmination of over a thousand years of Sith following the Rule of Two, and each new master had to beat the last to take the mantle.

Sin thirty-three, Luke’s Astral Projection: In the context of how much power it would take to do this, okay, that’s cool. In the EU, some Jedi could do this, and some more than others. Luke could but wasn’t the best, not like Corran Horn. But one thing is for sure, those projections don’t work on droids. Threepio shouldn’t have seen Luke. Wouldn’t it have been more epic for Luke to be there and survive the Super AT-AT barrage? If you say he couldn’t, let me direct your attention to Anakin, who on more than one occasion, absorbed blaster bolts without damage. Yes, it is an actual power in the EU and in games and comics. And as noted before, Corran Horn could absorb energy, too. If Luke can project himself across the galaxy, I’m confident he can survive a few blaster bolts. Plus, what would it have said about his actual prowess as a master? Beating Kylo in a lightsaber battle is flimsy and inadequate since Rey had already done so. Plus, he wasn’t there. He just dodged a few times. If an initiate in training can beat Kylo, what chance does boy Solo hold against Luke Skywalker? The moment Luke died, the dice should have faded immediately, not hang around for another five to ten minutes to be found by Kylo.

Luke’s Death: I am not upset Luke died, I’m irritated in the manner in which it happened. He wasn’t laying down his life for his friends or trying to protect them. The stall tactic with no relevant payoff brings us to sin thirty-four. The hermit wasn’t there and in no danger, which cheapens the effect. Luke dying is okay, as stated at the very beginning of the blog, the manner though…

Luke hiding: Luke said he came to the most unfindable place in the galaxy to die. That’s not true! He left a map so people could find him. Why else would there be a map? Sin thirty-five.

Random entry: Ben Solo. This is a random entry and more of a sin for TFA, but I never understood why Han and Leia called their son Ben. Without strong connections to Obi-Wan, why name their son after him? In the EU, Luke and Mara Jade name their son Ben after the Jedi Master, which makes sense.

Summing it all up:

The most prominent sin of all: Ego, the thirty-sixth sin. Ego ruined TLJ. Rian Johnson came in and scraped the planned works of Abrams and Kasdan. The outline, the focal points, the staples were set in place. When you disregard everything, you end up with a divisive feature full of holes in the storyline, like changing why Luke left a map to find him. You also don’t go around altering what is already established like Kylo Ren’s scar. Don’t like it? Tough. It’s canon already. Did Johnson fancy himself a better writer than the screenwriter for ESB? Abrams himself can tell some great stories. The disconnect between the final product and the fans should tell you something. One, develop a better plan when making a trilogy. Two, when you possess a template, don’t toss it out because you “are in charge now.” Fans shouldn’t have to suffer because a director wants to put “their” touch on the galaxy far, far away.

A person (the friend from the beginning) once said the story wasn’t everything, which despite my disbelief, came from an aspiring writer. Yes, the plot does matter, as does character, and their development. She also told me the reason I and so many others hated TLJ was because, “Everyone goes in with their assumptions and with their own story cooked up in their head, and that’s why you cannot accept it.” Funny, because that’s what Johnson did when he threw out the foundations of Episodes VIII & IX to suit him. “Nah, screw fans, screw the franchise, screw Abrams who revived a dying franchise … I’m going to do what I want.” Kathleen Kennedy needed a much tighter rein on Johnson (sin thirty-seven), kinda like she had on those directors she fired for the Solo movie. When you have confines, you make a much better flick. Look to Rogue One. They had a specific story with set rules. They didn’t change how the ending of RO happened because they wanted it. No, they tailored their story to how ANH began, and the cinematic experience is much better for it. Plus, the rebels gave their lives for their mission.

Disney, you own a gold mine. Don’t blow it by defecating on the fans. As for me, how the final episode of this trilogy turns out will determine whether I continue to invest in the franchise. If they kill off all the Skywalkers (as in Rey isn’t one, and Ben Solo isn’t redeemable), then I’ll be done. I understand wanting to go to different stories, but you don’t have to wipe out a family to do it. Whether you like or hate my assessment, I will be happy to discuss. What is your opinion? Where did the story excel or fail? As always, may the Force be with you.

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Plans and Future Blogs

For those of you who read my blog whenever I do post something, thank you! If you are still reading this, you are awesome. I have been swamped with editing/ rewriting my second book in my series, and that took about two and a half months. I am quite meticulous. It is now in the beta-read stage.

I am also a part of a writer’s group, and I enjoy it–probably too much! For some reason or another, they actually want to hear what I have to say, so, I get to show specific methods for how I approach certain scenes. My next class will be over how to write sex scenes. I will make a blog about it and post it. 

I have had numerous people come up and either start conversations or arguments about The Last Jedi. I think it has been enough time since it came out that passions–on both sides–have cooled, and everyone can approach it with a level head. So, I will be writing a blog about Star Wars: The Last Jedi (TLJ). 

I do expect to be writing more blogs in the future, but as always, they will be few and far between. I am writing a lot and have various projects in different stages of completion. I even have a collaboration in the works, but that may not pan out. 

In the meantime, I have decided to branch out and also write reviews for novels and movies, so, expect those in the future. As of now, I will be crafting TLJ, so that will come first. I hope it lives up to expectations or at least provides another point of view. “You’ll find many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view.”

Until the next blog…

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The Name of the Wind–Book Review

I declare going in: I absolute detest first-person point-of-view books! Having disclosed my treacherous ways, this book genuinely gripped me, seamlessly switching from third-person point-of-view into first-person. I am also extremely picky about what authors I read as most bore me in the early stages with chalky, hastily-cobbled together words, more manufactured than artistic.

Rothfuss spins a splendid story, a rich tapestry of characters, strange, bizarre, and unexpected events, and immersive world. What unquestionably intrigued me is the character-driven story rather than plot-driven. By how smooth it reads, and the depth of his novel, you can tell he spent a lot of time perfecting his craft, writing out of passion than making a cash grab. I wish more authors wrote like Patrick, a slow burn that builds, layered, an ensemble if you will, with a more-than-satisfied conclusion.

The only downside to the book or the trilogy… is that the narrator is the main character, and you know he survives, but the untold story between is the intriguing part.

I do not compare one author’s writing to another as it seems tactless and unfair to both, but I will say that Rothfuss has caught my attention, and kept it–which is by far harder–and I will continue reading him until he retires. I rank him relatively high on my short list (Martin cough, cough). Hopefully, his retirement is a long time from now in a galaxy far, far away. Do you hear me, Mr. Rothfuss? You are not allowed to retire! I demand you keep writing to entertain me!

All jests aside, absorb the book, immerse yourself, and enjoy the slow burn. I will definitely be reading this book many times for years to come. I give it a 4.25 out of five.

NaNoWriMo: The Good, the Bad, and the Writing.

As promised, the NaNo post. Keep in mind that this is the first time I participated and only found out about NaNo in September of this year. Now that we have ventured past the initial “thank-the-tiny-gods-that’s-over” phase, or for you comic fans–I like to refer to this as The Infinity War–we can proceed with settled emotions and stable minds. Still, I think the post-November phase is analogous to Darkseid’s omega. Without further ado, I present my opinion and the pros and cons. This will divide a lot of people, so, buckle up.

The pros: NaNoWriMo brings the Children of the Forest out of the wilds. In this manner, every closeted writer out there, from amateur to pro, appears to be participating. This is fantastic! I think there needs to be more events to bring out the freaks–I mean, uh, fellow writing enthusiasts. One thing I liked was meeting other writers who live just down the road from me. It’s nice to see so many of us clumped together in an area. I enjoyed the sense of comradery, the social aspect, to be able to talk to other old-souls about my passion for loved and hated story elements, and mainstream, cliched features. Further, it was charming to hole up with some of them in a room and write for hours.

Another nod for NaNoWriMo is the intent to write every day. Most writers I know on a personal level vary in their diligence and commitment to the vocation. For some, it’s a hobby and a badge of honor to be able to say, “I’m a writer.” Others are more genuine about the craft and would love all-day typing escapades, even sacrificing other things like watching TV, gym, dating, pamper-me-time, or trips to the local multiplex to catch a flick.

One final thought on people coming together is discovering how other writers work and perform the craft. It’s similar to joining a writer’s group and learning all there is to know from other spinners of the art. Like Pinterest, I never knew about/what it was until someone discussed the site in a random meeting. So, too, is it true for other methods and software and websites available to writers. Had I known about these resources years ago…

I digress.

The cons to NaNoWriMo outweigh the advantages for me. This may hold true for many, and yet others may not be affected. To this, I say, to each their own.

Writing is a calling. Some heed while others deny. Still, some strive to be writers by sheer determination and become renowned. Stephen King anyone? Bursts of inspiration happen, but for most of us, it’s sitting down, marking out the allotted time, saying no distractions such as significant others, social media, and lame excuses to interrupt the process, and focusing on the task. For me, participating in NaNoWriMo was a distraction. I was more worried about updating a word count than enjoying the process of penning a story. I hate to use the phrase ‘I felt,’ but I found myself stressed out about meeting the looming word count bar. Further, the pyramid showing where I should be and where I was, didn’t help matters.

The deadline was another irking facet. Don’t get me wrong, I give myself deadlines, but reasonable and sensible ones. While at work, every three months I rotate to the night shift. During that time, I write an entire novel, edit, and add more detail as I go. You might ask, ‘then, what’s the big deal?’ Well, for starters, one month isn’t three. For November, my focus is on the word count, not the story or the quality of prose. The word count is what matters in November. This is not writing. The lack of quality in word-weaving is another factor. Some of you might say, “Well, that’s your fault.” You may be right, perhaps it is, but my attention is elsewhere. For me, crafting a novel is a journey. It doesn’t matter about a quota; it’s about the story in as many words as you wish. That means fewer, too. I’m a pantser at heart, and though I do outline more now than I did at the genesis of my craziness, I still leave a tremendous amount of room for pantsing. My outline consists of this:

Chapter 6

Location: The Cellar (club)

Who: Main guy/girl + sidekick

When: Night

Important note: Make sure they see (event/item/person)

Intent: kick a lot of ass.

And that’s about it. True, there may be a little more to my outlining, but you grasp the notion. There is a lot of room and leeway for it. In pantsing, I find my story, I discover my characters; this method reawakens my love for writing. During November, I determined I hated authoring, which should never happen. It’s a hot and heavy love affair that blows your mind and touches your soul each time … or at least it should be. This torrid relationship eluded me in November. I hated it.

Another aspect I didn’t expect was the one-up-manship towards the beginning of November. In some ways, you can toot your own horn, be it word count or how many years you’ve completed or how wordy your novel is. I detest people like this in all walks of life, not just NaNoWriMo. I befriend and enjoy the company of those who are gracious and humble and honest. Being around people like this, and those who offer an excuse for everything, is a huge turnoff. I am sure we all know of at least one person like this. Further, the one-up-manship bleeds over into the NaNoWriMo website.

Okay, my abridged opinion piece of NaNoWriMo. I am sure some will relate and others won’t. My most significant takeaway for November is not to change what works for you, which is the most crucial part. If NaNo brings out your best, please continue, and I wish you well. For those who came away disgruntled, what part didn’t work for you and why? I may not participate in NaNoWriMo next year, but rest assured, I will come out to all the meetings and attend. Making acquaintances with authors brings more benefits, like being able to talk about terrible atrocities to visit on characters in a restaurant full of gawking people. The noncombatants just don’t understand… as always, please leave a comment below.

Until next time.

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NaNo Opinion

My opinion on NaNoWriMo will be published in a forthcoming post. What’s your opinion? Leave your comment below!