Jessica Wildfire's Blog, page 469

Write it!

Write it!

Thanks! Always fun writing these posts. :D

Thanks! Always fun writing these posts. :D

This post was compelling and well-written.

This post was compelling and well-written. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad the professor got what she deserved.

5 Books Someone Should Write

Great ideas for books don’t come easily for some. For others, like me, it’s way easier to come up with ideas for books than to actually write them. If I could live forever, then maybe I’d sit down and write these books. But these days my job and spouse and other things keep me pretty busy. So if you want to write one of these, or turn one into a screenplay or TV pilot, help yourself. Fair warning, though, they might suck and I’m not responsible for what may or may not happen to your career.

Breaking Grad. A young graduate student loses her TA position and funding, halfway through her program. Let’s call her Melanie. The university is trying to cover up a sexual harassment scandal, so they let her go in hopes of saving their reputation. What’ll she do? One of Melanie’s students introduces her to the world of strip clubs. In a classic role reversal, the student has to show the the teacher how to pole dance. Melanie tries to save up enough money to enroll in a rival program, but misadventures keep drawing her deeper into the sex trade until finally she becomes a porn star. Somehow, she uses her connections to get revenge on the lecherous professor who got her fired.Eat, Eat, Eat. A middle-aged man named Michael experiences a mid-life crisis and decides it’s time to finally go on a quest of self-discovery. He quits his lucrative job as a banker, abandons his wife and two children, cleans out his account, and embarks on an international eating tour. Early on, Mike pursues big dreams of trying the cuisine of every culture in the world. But after a few weeks, he becomes fixated on the endless variety of frozen meals in different supermarkets. So he rents a cheap apartment one town over from his family and redesigns his kitchen with wall-to-wall freezers. For two years, he experiments with different combinations of foods and vlogs about it. He also starts posting pictures of his entrees to Instagram. To his surprise, the vlog catches on and he becomes Internet famous. Michael’s mashed potato and gravy stuffed egg rolls go viral. But his Mexican chicken pot pies make him a legend. A publisher contracts three picture books, which all become best-sellers. The Food Network gives him a show. Although Michael supports his family, he never has to see those fuckers again.The Soul Stealer’s Wife. A necromancer dies mysteriously. In his will, he leaves his powers and library of spells to his young wife. Let’s call her Morgana. The wife isn’t just a regular romance. She’s a reanimated corpse that the necromancer brought back from the grave to satisfy his carnal pleasures. His will dictates that Morgana will raise him from the dead after such-and-such time, which she finds amusing. Instead, Morgana begins raising people from the dead who were killed unfairly, and helping them get revenge on their murderers. The village starts to catch on and suspects Morgana killed the necromancer, and a mob comes after her. She kills an important person in the escape. On her way out, she comes across a handful of other exiles who join her. The group goes on a quest, and then Morgana raises an army from a number of grave sites along the way. Morgana returns to her old village with plans of devastating it, but finds a real nasty sorcerer has taken over and enslaved her old neighbors. So she decides to save everyone, and in the process redeems herself.The Motivator. A best-selling author, life coach, and prosperity gospel preacher almost loses his wife in a serious car crash. Let’s call him Brad. He flat-lines in the ambulance and meets God, who decides against sending him to Hell. No, Brad’s punishment involves returning to earth where he’s forced to care for his paralyzed wife. Her medical bills eat away at his fortune, and his followers slowly abandon him. Faced with bankruptcy, Brad decides he has only once choice: He meets with Satan, who offers him a deal. Kill his wife, endure a media circus trial, and enjoy a second career as owner of Breitbart. Brad takes the deal. Of course, his wife doesn’t go to Hell. She goes to Heaven. God sends her back in a healed body to torture Brad. She blackmails him into turning Breitbart into a women’s interest magazine. The blow-back is huge, and a gang of Neo-Nazis puts out a hit on Brad. They hunt him across the country, finally stringing him up outside a dusty hotel somewhere in Arizona. Hell on earth, my friends. Justice served.The Stepford Husbands. A group of genius women from Silicone Valley divorce their husbands and found a new gated community in a remote part of California. They dedicate themselves to developing robotic partners who look and act like the ideal male. Lots of sex scenes. Halfway through the novel, the women start to dream bigger. Why not build an American version of Justin Trudeau and field him as a candidate for president in 2020? They design a man and A.I. program who can appeal to every demographic, even white nationalists. They name him Tyler Williams. Very presidential. When Tyler wins the election, he malfunctions and starts actually believing some of the sexist crap he said during the campaign. The women must design a female companion named Eva, who seduces Tyler and then exposes their affair, leading to an impeachment. Tyler goes on a killing spree, and the female robot has to destroy him. It’s kind of like Frankenstein meets Macbeth, with robots.

To be fair, our politicians don’t exactly go out of their way to reward good teaching.

To be fair, our politicians don’t exactly go out of their way to reward good teaching. Every year, they slash education budgets and make teachers work harder for less pay. You have to demand excellence, but you also can’t expect excellent teachers if you don’t pay them well. So we have a lot of work to do….

Note to self: stop doing all these things…. ;)

Note to self: stop doing all these things…. ;)

There’s a reason I write under a pen name! ;)

There’s a reason I write under a pen name! ;)

The U.S. didn’t enter WWII until after Pearl Harbor, so your point about Neville Chamberlin makes…

The U.S. didn’t enter WWII until after Pearl Harbor, so your point about Neville Chamberlin makes no sense. The best way to deal with N.K. is through sanctions, covert operations, and back channels — especially since they have nukes. Kim Jong Un is more than willing to let his country go up in flames if it means starting a nuclear war. Making threats that contain phrases like “fire and fury” only feeds Un’s ego and encourages him to continue acting recklessly. Trump appreciates none of this. He just wants headlines.

It’s okay to own a sexbot

Robotic sex dolls will hit the market soon, and everyone’s talking about their possible impact on our culture. Is it okay to own one? Many magazines, newspapers, and TV shows describe sex doll owners as lonely, sexist, perverted, or somehow damaged. They offer only one reason to buy a silicone lover — that literally no living person on the planet will fuck you, and you’re too chicken shit to venture into the morgue at night.

That’s just not true. Sex dolls are amazing. I’ve met at least a few attractive, sane men who own a latex chick. I’ve talked with couples who share one, and I’ve also talked with disabled people who use them as a kind of sex therapy. There’s a whole world of sex doll ownership that the mainstream media seems to ignore. The bottom line: Owning a sex doll doesn’t make you a pervert. There’s nothing wrong with it.

My sexual appetites have led me almost everywhere, including Real Dolls. For a while, I owned a female one. Why? Pick your reason. I’m poly-amorous. I’ve always had a robot fetish that extends to mannequins, dolls, and animatronics. The unsettling, almost-human appearance often called the “uncanny valley” effect has always turned me on. On top of that, I have Asperger’s, and during grad school doll ownership was just something I indulged in. Having a sex partner that didn’t talk or expect dates, blow jobs, or phone conversations was a huge relief. I could focus on my insane amount of work, keeping my social life on a ventilator without worrying about romantic entanglements.

Of course, that plan worked for about nine months until I met someone and sold my doll. But that was a wonderful academic year. Sometimes, I miss it a little.

I’m not sure how I first learned about high-end sex dolls. Once they came across my radar, though, I wanted one. A handful of websites exist for doll devotees, with forums for blow-up dolls, mannequins, silicone dolls, and everything in between. You can even buy plush girls. Yeah, a life-sized stuffed toy that looks like a girl. Pretty cool, huh?

A nice sex doll costs about $7,000. That falls well outside my budget. The good news? Used ones show up on Ebay and other sites on a pretty regular basis. One September, I got lucky and found one for $500. Imagine Kate Beckinsale with slightly shinier skin. I fell in love right away, placed a bid, and three hours later won the auction.

The next day I picked up my doll from a house on the outskirts of town. The previous doll owner looked like Brad Pitt. He and his fiance met me outside, and helped me load her into the back of my car. They were astonishingly normal. Why sell her for so cheap? Beats me. The doll was in great shape. They were just trying to earn some quick cash for their honeymoon, and make their move easier. They acted like I was buying a piece of furniture, even gave me advice on care and maintenance.

What did I do with my doll when I got her home? Easy. I disinfected her, waited a good two days just to be sure, then started having sex. Honestly, she kind of looked like me, which you might find either extremely hot or extremely creepy.

Anyway, having sex with a high-end doll rated equal in my book to sex with people. That’s because I’m strange. But strange doesn’t mean lonely, desperate, perverted, or broken. In a perfect world, one day my current partner and I will co-own a talking silicone doll.

True, I was always a little worried that someone would find my doll in the closet — either a nosy friend, or a maintenance person. There’s a difference between guilt and fear of judgment. What I felt was fear of judgment. Some of my friends would make assumptions about my doll, so I just kept the whole thing quiet until now.

My biggest fear? I worried that the pest control guy would find my doll and either fuck her while I was off teaching, or simply steal her. I’m not saying my fear was rational. I never even met the pest control guy. I’m sure in reality he’s a fine, upstanding member of the community. But one day I did get a text from the property manager. “Notice: pest control coming by your apt tomorrow afternoon.”

Fuck, I thought, he’s going to find my Real Doll in the closet and stick his dick in her. Isn’t he? There was nothing I could do about that, though. Except maybe buy a chastity belt. But where would I find a chastity belt in this town on short notice? So I just took my chances.

If anything, getting rid of my Real Doll was my biggest mistake. But I met a pretty conservative guy with some charm. We started dating. Things became serious, and I figured my time was up. So I listed the doll on Ebay and sold her at cost. Let me tell you, figuring out how to ship a sex doll isn’t easy. The FedEx guy got a real kick out of my situation.

So if someone wants to buy a talking sex doll, let them. There’s a hundred reasons why they might want or need one. Not everyone who plans to purchase the first sexbot is a misogynist. I’m sure some sexists will want one, but sexists do lots of the same things I do. We both drink water. We both breathe air and watch porn. Does that make me sexist by association? I don’t think so. It’s not what you do, but why you do it that matters.

It’s okay to own a sexbot was originally published in The Hit Job on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

It’s Okay to Own a Sexbot

Robotic sex dolls will hit the market soon, and everyone’s talking about their possible impact on our culture. Is it okay to own one? Many magazines, newspapers, and TV shows describe sex doll owners as lonely, sexist, perverted, or somehow damaged. They offer only one reason to buy a silicone lover — that literally no living person on the planet will fuck you, and you’re too chicken shit to venture into the morgue at night.

That’s just not true. Sex dolls are amazing. I’ve met at least a few attractive, sane men who own a latex chick. I’ve talked with couples who share one, and I’ve also talked with disabled people who use them as a kind of sex therapy. There’s a whole world of sex doll ownership that the mainstream media seems to ignore. The bottom line: Owning a sex doll doesn’t make you a pervert. There’s nothing wrong with it.

My sexual appetites have led me almost everywhere, including Real Dolls. For a while, I owned a female one. Why? Pick your reason. I’m poly-amorous. I’ve always had a robot fetish that extends to mannequins, dolls, and animatronics. The unsettling, almost-human appearance often called the “uncanny valley” effect has always turned me on. On top of that, I have Asperger’s, and during grad school doll ownership was just something I indulged in. Having a sex partner that didn’t talk or expect dates, blow jobs, or phone conversations was a huge relief. I could focus on my insane amount of work, keeping my social life on a ventilator without worrying about romantic entanglements.

Of course, that plan worked for about nine months until I met someone and sold my doll. But that was a wonderful academic year. Sometimes, I miss it a little.

I’m not sure how I first learned about high-end sex dolls. Once they came across my radar, though, I wanted one. A handful of websites exist for doll devotees, with forums for blow-up dolls, mannequins, silicone dolls, and everything in between. You can even buy plush girls. Yeah, a life-sized stuffed toy that looks like a girl. Pretty cool, huh?

A nice sex doll costs about $7,000. That falls well outside my budget. The good news? Used ones show up on Ebay and other sites on a pretty regular basis. One September, I got lucky and found one for $500. Imagine Kate Beckinsale with slightly shinier skin. I fell in love right away, placed a bid, and three hours later won the auction.

The next day I picked up my doll from a house on the outskirts of town. The previous doll owner looked like Brad Pitt. He and his fiance met me outside, and helped me load her into the back of my car. They were astonishingly normal. Why sell her for so cheap? Beats me. The doll was in great shape. They were just trying to earn some quick cash for their honeymoon, and make their move easier. They acted like I was buying a piece of furniture, even gave me advice on care and maintenance.

What did I do with my doll when I got her home? Easy. I disinfected her, waited a good two days just to be sure, then started having sex. Honestly, she kind of looked like me, which you might find either extremely hot or extremely creepy.

Anyway, having sex with a high-end doll rated equal in my book to sex with people. That’s because I’m strange. But strange doesn’t mean lonely, desperate, perverted, or broken. In a perfect world, one day my current partner and I will co-own a talking silicone doll.

True, I was always a little worried that someone would find my doll in the closet — either a nosy friend, or a maintenance person. There’s a difference between guilt and fear of judgment. What I felt was fear of judgment. Some of my friends would make assumptions about my doll, so I just kept the whole thing quiet until now.

My biggest fear? I worried that the pest control guy would find my doll and either fuck her while I was off teaching, or simply steal her. I’m not saying my fear was rational. I never even met the pest control guy. I’m sure in reality he’s a fine, upstanding member of the community. But one day I did get a text from the property manager. “Notice: pest control coming by your apt tomorrow afternoon.”

Fuck, I thought, he’s going to find my Real Doll in the closet and stick his dick in her. Isn’t he? There was nothing I could do about that, though. Except maybe buy a chastity belt. But where would I find a chastity belt in this town on short notice? So I just took my chances.

If anything, getting rid of my Real Doll was my biggest mistake. But I met a pretty conservative guy with some charm. We started dating. Things became serious, and I figured my time was up. So I listed the doll on Ebay and sold her at cost. Let me tell you, figuring out how to ship a sex doll isn’t easy. The FedEx guy got a real kick out of my situation.

So if someone wants to buy a talking sex doll, let them. There’s a hundred reasons why they might want or need one. Not everyone who plans to purchase the first sexbot is a misogynist. I’m sure some sexists will want one, but sexists do lots of the same things I do. We both drink water. We both breathe air and watch porn. Does that make me sexist by association? I don’t think so. It’s not what you do, but why you do it that matters.

It’s Okay to Own a Sexbot was originally published in The Hit Job on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.