Scott Perry's Blog, page 4

Joey Natale - "Become more conscious and aware."

Insight and inspiration for flying higher in the difference only you can make from guests who have appeared on Creative on Purpose Live.

This week’s wisdom comes from a conversation with Joey Natale, coach and cosplay fan. Tune into the entire conversation here.

[JOEY] What comes to mind, kind of piggybacking on what you said earlier about the unprocessed or unconscious things, is what you're unaware of runs you. It runs your life. Typically, the negative programs and patterns.

So, become more conscious and aware.

So, I give you a tool that one of my mentors gave me. You come up with a question here.

So, to clarify the confusion, what is the one question if answered today, would give you the most success in (you name the area, relationship, career, whatever)?

What is the one question, if answered today, that will give you the most success in [blank]?

You come up with the question. Yeah. That's a fun one.

Joey just delivered an important reminder about the importance and value of bringing your conscious awareness into your conversation about getting what you want in life. How can you become a more conscious creative today?

Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at Creative on Purpose

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Taking Care of Business

Are you navigating a difficult life transition, tired of feeling stuck and uninspired about where you’re at, or confused about what’s next for you?

It’s time to start taking care of business.

Business is a funny word. We associate it with work done to make a living. But the original meaning is more expansive (and interesting).

The original sense of business is “the state of being much occupied or engaged.”

What’s keeping you occupied and engaged these days?

Maybe it’s making a living or maintaining a home. Or perhaps it’s navigating “what’s next” if those roles have ended.

Whatever’s keeping you busy, if it matters to you, then you have a vested interest in doing it better.

Doing what you do better begins with becoming a better human.

What have you tried already? 

You may read self-help books, watch instructional videos, attend motivational seminars, join mastermind groups, or scroll social media for insight and inspiration. 

But those approaches don’t work. Why? 

Because any of those approaches is just an aimless pursuit of knowledge gathering, you’re collecting dots without connecting them.

Knowledge gathering actually causes you greater confusion and moves you further away from what you want.

You need a system to get something worth doing done.

A system is your plan for executing the business of being a better you and doing what you do better.

And here’s the thing about systems. They’re only as reliable as the product of the efficiency of their component parts.

And the least reliable component of ANY system is the human at the controls.

The first order of business, then, is to work on the human at those controls.

But how do you do that?

Click here to learn the nine fundamentals of becoming a better human.

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

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Mindset Mary - "Create more awareness."

Insight and inspiration for flying higher in the difference only you can make from guests who have appeared on Creative on Purpose Live.

This week’s wisdom comes from a conversation with Mary Alloush, AKA Mindset Mary, mindset coach. Tune into the entire conversation here.

[MARY] "If you're trying to improve your mindset, get really, really clear on what it is that you actually want for yourself in life."

"And take an inventory of all the things that are going to come in the way, that currently come in the way, of what it is that you want."

"I think the more we can create awareness around those roadblocks and the things that are really holding us back... The more we have control to be able to actually address them and change them so that we can get... We can start closing the gap between where we are in life and where we want to be in life."

"And really just taking an inventory of all the mess that's in our minds that we're trying to remove step by step. So that we can get closer and closer to what it is that we actually want."

Mary just delivered an important reminder about the importance and value of noticing and acknowledging what you really want and what's really in your way. How do you find the path to self-awareness?

Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at Creative on Purpose

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Life 2.0

The Situation

Sometimes, it feels like the game of life is playing you instead of the other way around.

You play by the rules you learned at home, in school, and on the job. Maybe you even earn all the trappings of winning, like high status, a big salary, and lots of stuff.

And yet, this pursuit of happiness isn’t making you very happy.

What to do?

It helps to wake up to the fact that we spend most of our lives running on autopilot.

The science indicates that 95% of what you think and do today merely repeats what you thought and did yesterday.

Interrupting this default programming and conditioning requires conscious effort and intentional action.

Of course, sometimes life provides a pattern interrupt in the form of crisis like the end of a relationship, losing a loved one, getting laid off, succumbing to illness, or being on the receiving end of an accident.

Whatever the circumstances, when life goes sideways or turns completely upside down, it can leave you feeling broken.

But these moments are also an opportunity to be broken open and serve as an invitation to step into possibility and your limitless potential.

The Solution 

In the first half of life, we seek identity and meaning through external instruction and validation.

Whether through an epiphany or an existential crisis, you can become an agent of your destiny in your life’s next chapter and learn to play your game on your terms.

You don’t need to find yourself. You need to face yourself.

What got you where you are won’t get you where you want to be.

To make a difference, you must see, be, and do things differently.

Here are the three steps to move from life happening to you to life happening through you as you move toward bigger and better possibilities in your life’s next chapter.

Self-Awareness: Reconnect with who you really are (your values and guiding principles), what you’re really good at (your natural talents and gifts), and where you really belong (with others who share your values and need your talents).

Self-Efficacy: Trust yourself and have faith in your ability to figure things out as you embrace the process of unlearning old beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve you so you can step into possibility and limitless potential.

Self-Actualization: Purpose, prosperity, and peace of mind are natural side effects of embracing a life of greater fulfillment, meaning, and impact by doing work you love with people you care about. The process is the shortcut.

Each of these three steps is unpacked in more detail in a free resource guide you receive when you subscribe to this publication.

Subscribers are also invited to join live calls where we explore and experiment with these principles.

Make your life’s next chapter your life’s best chapter by cultivating the routines, relationships, and resilience required to navigate the inevitable obstacles and opportunities ahead.

The Creative on Purpose Substack provides the insights and inspiration you need to succeed. 

You can also join a community of practice doing the work, mastering the art of living in their lives next chapter.

Ready to go further?

Subscribers receive the free resource guide with the nine fundamentals you need to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be in life. Click here to get going.

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose

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How To Get What You Want In Life

How to get what you really want in life.

Step 1: Know what you really want in life.

This is harder than it sounds.

You have to understand that what you think you really want (more money, time, and respect) isn’t really what you want.

What you really want is whatever more money, time, and respect will get you.

Step 2: Define the essential steps necessary to achieve what you want.

It’s counterintuitive, but you rarely need to do more than three things well enough to get what you want.

Define those three things. Then, do those things daily (and only those things).

Spend a little extra time on the one that you do least well. This will improve the overall efficiency and effectiveness of your goal achievement strategy.

Step 3: Pay attention and improvise.

Here’s the thing. When you establish your goal and begin executing your strategy, you can’t possibly know what time and randomness have in store for you.

There will be obstacles and opportunities you couldn’t possibly foresee.

And often, the opportunities will present as obstacles (and vice versa).

So be prepared to iterate and course correct, not take everything so damn seriously (especially yourself), and for crying out loud, have fun.

In Conclusion

Ultimately, the point of the game of life isn’t to win. It’s to be able to keep playing (which actually improves your chances of winning).

And the game of life is a helluva lot more fun to play when you’re playing along with other players who know what they really want (and what it’s really all about).

What's your ultimate life goal, and how do you plan to achieve it?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose

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Is What You Do Who You Are?

“The riches are in the niches” is a(nother) one of those dogmatic statements peddled by gurus selling their latest hack, trick, system, or program.

But is it true?

It depends.

Roles and goals can benefit from fitting into a neat, easily identifiable box.

But does that mean you have to fit into a neat, easily identifiable box?

I’m not so sure. That sounds like an identity trap.

For instance, I’m often asked, “Are you a life coach or a business coach?”

My answer? “Yes.”

Huh?

Let me explain.

I have a client navigating transitions in life and business. When they recently disclosed they’re the CEO of a recognizable brand, my imposter spoke up.

“Why did you decide to work with me? I’m not an executive coach.”

Their answer surprised me but also rings true.

“If I’m going to run a better business, I must become a better person. You help me with both.”

You are not merely what you do. You are much more than the roles you play and their associated goals.

But suppose you have clarity about who you are and how your distinctive combination of talents, tolerances, and temperaments informs the difference only you can make. Then, who you are is reflected in everything you do.

Life and work benefit from being integrated more than balanced.

An integrated life opens doors for finding fulfillment, forging meaning, and making an impact if you’re willing to embrace and step into possibility.

What do you do? We spend a lot of time thinking about how to answer that question.

But a more important question is, who are you?

I’d love to hear your questions and reflections.

What do you do, and how does it express who you are?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

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Is that so?

Human beings are fascinating.

We’re complicated, conflicted, and full of contradictions.

For instance, we have a deep need to know where we stand and what’s expected of us, and we love to seek and explore the edges of our understanding and abilities.

Why is that?

Fundamentally, we’re most often navigating our life on autopilot.

Scientific research reveals that 95% of our day-to-day thoughts and actions are unconscious.

Most of what we think and do today is the same as what we thought and did yesterday.

And those thoughts and actions have been informed by the scrutiny and expectations of others (parents, peers, teachers, trolls, etc.).

What to do?

You need to bring your conscious mind into the conversation. 

How?

One way is to ask this simple question, “Is that so?”

For instance, when your fight, flight or freeze instinct is triggered by some comment made by a family member, friend, or some random acquaintance on social media, pause.

Zoom out.

Get curious.

Become an observer of yourself and ask, “Is that so?”

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”—Victor Frankl

“Is that so?” is a powerful question.

First, it defuses any strong emotional reactions tied to fear and anger. Think about it. Can you be truly curious and angry or afraid at the same time?

Second, becoming the observer of your experience separates you from the situation. Now, you can work on the problem instead of allowing the problem to work on you.

Finally, you’re de-personalizing the opinions and value judgments inherent in human communication. Assumptions rarely survive critical, rational, or scientific thinking.

“It’s not things that upset us. It’s our judgment about things.”—Epictetus

Ask, “Is that so?” anytime you catch yourself behaving rashly or responding to someone or something in a knee-jerk manner. It’ll save you from spiraling into a doom loop of anger, despair, or terror.

What situation occurred already today that would have benefited from asking, “Is that so?” How can you remember to ask, “Is that so?” next time someone throws you a curveball or things go sideways?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

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It Depends

“How you do one thing is how you do everything” is a catchy phrase, but is it true?

I think it’s a dogmatic statement and too often perpetuated by self-styled gurus who want you to prioritize what they prioritize.

The thing about dogmatic statements is that they’re not scientific.

I recently came across a thread about a guru who said something to the effect that how well you maintain your physique and physical health reflects how well you’re able to take care of your business (and everything else in your life).

Really?

How does prioritizing physical health and physique inform or reflect business acumen or ability?

These things can correlate, but there’s no causal relationship here, and no correlative relationship applies to everyone or everything.

There are MANY examples of individuals who wildly succeed in business but fail miserably in MANY other aspects of their lives (and vice versa).

We each have different predispositions and proclivities.

We all prioritize and treat different things differently.

No need to shame someone who doesn’t share yours with absolutist statements like “how you do one thing is how you do everything.”

Here’s an alternative approach to blindly following what a guru says.

Play your game.

Why?

You can’t win playing someone else’s game.

And you DEFINITELY can’t win a game you don’t want to play.

Play your game on your terms and without compromise, all in and full out.

And when some guru (or anyone else) comes along with criticism packaged as prescriptive advice, remember this.

It depends.

It depends on who YOU are, where YOU’re at, and what YOU want.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. That’s what the guru wants from you. They want you to conform to their game.

Don’t do it. Play YOUR game.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What’s your take on this topic? Please drop a line or two below, and join (or start) the conversation (and keep reading to learn how to avoid the perils of dogmatic thinking).

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

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Dr. Nick Sotelo - "Am I okay with this?"

Insight and inspiration for flying higher in the difference only you can make from guests who have appeared on Creative on Purpose Live.

This week’s wisdom comes from a conversation with Dr. Nick Sotelo, funder of the Anger Resolution. Tune into the entire conversation here.

[DR. NICK] "It's the thing that I can offer folks. It's what I call the individual anger profile, but in a sense, I mean, this is no different than helping people in a variety of ways. It's listing out the top 10 ways that anger is getting in the way of your life."

"It's basically admitting, 'Here's how anger is wreaking havoc in my life," and then you just have to ask yourself, 'Am I okay with this?' Right?"

"If nothing changes here, say for three months, am I going to be okay with that for a year? Am I going to be okay with that in five years? Am I going to be okay with that? Right?"

"You've got to be brutally honest with yourself about what's going on. So that's really the first step, is to really outline the pros and cons of maintaining this negative aspect of anger."

"Because you can have destructive anger, or you can have constructive anger. Right? There is such a thing as just anger."

"So the goal here isn't to get rid of anger. It's not to manage it. It's to integrate it. Right? To have it play the role that it needs to play in your life but not to excess."

"So, yeah, I would say, do that exercise. Write down always the ways anger is wreaking havoc in your life and ask yourself, are you okay with that? And if you're not, then the easy thing is honestly to join my Facebook group. It's in that group that you can get access to some of the best lessons that I have to offer to help people get control over their anger."

Dr. Nick just delivered an important reminder about the importance and value of noticing and acknowledging anger. What does outrage teach us? When and how does it serve you? When should it be managed?

Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at Creative on Purpose

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Letting Go Isn’t Giving Up

Ever feel like you’re drifting through life? As if you were on autopilot?

Do you catch yourself reacting to situations, other people, and your inner dialogue impulsively in ways that leave you unhappy, confused, or even depressed?

What’s going on?

Ninety-five percent of your thoughts and actions are habitual responses driven by your survival programming or a need to know where you fit in and what’s expected and conditioned by society.

What to do?

The first step is awakening. You’re playing the game of life the way you were programmed and conditioned to play it.

The second step is awareness. Acknowledge and accept that you’re a human thinking and acting like a human, and you can choose a different game, your game.

The third step is agency. Assume responsibility over how you see yourself, others, and your situation. and what you decide and do next. Play your game.

“It’s not things that upset us, but our judgments about things.” —Epictetus

Sh*t happens. Time and randomness ensure that life is filled with ups and downs.

You’re programmed and conditioned to react emotionally to life’s trials and travails. You feel like a victor when you’re winning and a victim when you’re losing.

Careening between exultation and exasperation is exhausting.

There is a better way.

Shift happens through surrender. Allow and sit with the emotions without attaching value judgments or assigning a narrative.

Surrender isn’t giving up or giving in. Surrender is letting go of what was not yours in the first place.

What if, just for today, you let go of your expectations for the future and embraced what’s going on right now with a little more curiosity?

What happens if, just for today, you hold your assumptions and agendas a little more loosely?

What if, just for today, you engaged with yourself and those around you with a little more compassion?

What if, just for today, you accept both your personal relevance and cosmic insignificance?

What if, just for today, you practiced empathy, trust, and worthiness from the inside out?

Surrender and non-attachment are the keys to equanimity—allowing life to happen through you instead of to you.

How might surrender help you reframe yourself, your situation, and what you decide to do next with and for those you’re with?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

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