Scott Perry's Blog, page 28

Same bullsh*t, different venue.

I used to be very results-driven. I defined my value based on how close I came to achieving my goals.

 
Most often, these goals were not really mine. They were defined for me by institutional education and occupation. Familial and societal norms reinforced these pursuits.
 


I began to see things differently when my music career started to bring in more income than my day gig as a wine consultant for a family-owned grocery store chain. The irony was that for the first time ever, I loved my day gig.
 


One day I decided that if I was ever going to make a go of being a full-time professional musician, it was now or never. Turns out I quit my straight job on the very day they were going to tell me they were sending me on a two-week California winery tour!
 


At first, I was just thrilled to be playing music for a living. Every crappy dive bar gig was a delight. But soon, my old programming kicked in. I found myself wanting higher-end gigs on bigger stages. I even scored some of these opportunities.
 


Turns out that wherever I played and whoever I played with and for, I still felt like it wasn't good enough. Even worse, I never thought that I was good enough.
 


Musicians have a name for this dynamic, "Same bullsh*t, different venue."
 


I've had the privilege of speaking playing with musicians whose names you would recognize. Some are incredibly famous. Many were extremely dissatisfied. However, a few were completely satisfied.
 


It took me a while to figure out why success left so many empty and so few feeling fulfilled. But eventually, I figured it out.
 


The happiest musicians are grateful for what they already had. They're not playing the finite game the industry promotes. They play the infinite game.
 


Sure, they still had dreams and aspirations, but they don't attach their happiness and wellbeing to them. They're satisfied with what was and what is and grateful for the opportunity to pursue what's next without feeling entitled to it.
 


This was a revelation to me. The journey, not the destination, is the real reward. Paying your dues isn't an investment in getting what's coming to you. It's table stakes for playing the game of life.
 


Understanding this and, more importantly, embodying this way of being changes everything. Embracing the uncertainties and challenges of every opportunity and possibility cultivates more joy and equanimity. I am sufficient as I strive.

 
But acknowledging this insight is not enough. This is not a one-and-done exercise.
 
Finding fulfillment in the process while pursuing worthwhile aims is more akin to sweeping the floor. It has to be done frequently.


 


What about you? Would it help to stop defining yourself based on what you achieve? What happens if you pay more attention to aligning yourself with the pursuit rather than the destination?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

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Bridging the Gap

Have you ever experienced a disconnect between intention and impact?

You can't speak or write as much as I do and not experience it (with some frequency). Something is said or done and is not received as intended, resulting in confusion, hurt feelings, or outrage.

What to do?

Acknowledge and accept that between intent and impact lies interpretation. The story the recipient tells themselves about what you meant by what you did or said and the story you tell yourself about what you meant by what you said or did.

Confused yet? Yeah, it can get complicated and go sideways real quick. Have you heard? People are fascinating.

Here are some things I've learned that can help when interpretations about intent and impact go awry.

Assume no malicious intent. Only the clinically sociopathic or psychopathic enjoy causing others distress (and they are a scarce breed). Give people the benefit of the doubt.
Pause. Take a breath (or two or six). Sleep on it. There's rarely any virtue in reacting. Wait until you're calmed down and can respond.
Zoom out. When we feel harmed or misunderstood, we take things personally and act on our prehistoric programming of fight, flight, or freeze. Viewing yourself, your situation, and others involved from above provides context and encourages interconnectedness.
State what's happening objectively without all the emotive adverbs and adjectives. Value judgments can be dangerous. They often breed certainty about things that you can't be sure about.
Get curious. Replace "I'm offended!" with"Isn't that interesting...?" Employ an active listening posture of reflecting what you heard or saw, asking if you heard or saw what was intended and if there's anything else they want to say or do.
Remember that you don't have to say or do anything in response. Is a response worth your time, attention, and energy? Sometimes the best thing you can do is move on.
Know how to apologize. You don't need to be wrong to express regret when feelings have hurt, or a misunderstanding emerges.

What's your strategy for bridging the gap between intent and impact? 

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

If what you just read resonated, please share it with a friend.

Paul Jun - "Creativity is an act of becoming."

Insight and inspiration for flying higher in the difference only you can make from guests who have appeared on Creative on Purpose Live.

This week's wisdom comes from a conversation with writer and photographer, Paul Jun. Tune into this entire conversation here.

[PAUL] I always go back to this. I think it's so incredibly wise. Basically, a group of high schoolers wrote to Kurt Vonnegut asking for particularly creative advice. And he said in short, you know, find out what's inside of you.

Try dancing, try painting, you know, try writing—not to get money or fame, but to become someone. And I think creativity, for me, you know, over the last six-seven years of being a writer and now being a photographer, to me it's an act of becoming.

It's an act of finding out what's actually inside of you. What moves you. What inspires you. How you engage with the world and communicate that to an audience, to a person.

And so, yeah, I think ultimately it's about it's becoming and learning about oneself.

Paul delivered a powerful framing of what creativity is for. How are you leveraging your creativity in service of who you're becoming today?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

(BTW, you can watch this and every other entire interview in the Creative on Purpose Broadcast Archive. To learn more and access for free, click here.)

If what you just read resonated, please share it with a friend.

The Perils of Prioritization

Don't get me wrong, priorities matter. For years my Gmail signature line read, "Scott Perry, Husband, Father, Teacher, Musician." I created this on purpose to help me keep my priorities straight.

But how many things are you prioritizing? The thing about prioritization is that it only works when you're paying attention to items that are actually a priority.

I'm prone to clinging to too many ideas, beliefs, and activities as if they are priorities when most are really distractions. What about you?

What to do?

For me, the first step is to remind myself of my vision—the world I'm co-creating with and for people who share my values and need my work to enhance their lives. 

The second is to be sure everything on my priority list is serving my current mission—the endeavor I'm currently engaged in with and for those I serve.

The third and final step is to sacrifice all the priorities that don't directly serve my mission and help fulfill my vision.

Less is more.

Sometimes sacrifice looks like outsourcing something important but not urgent. Other times it means putting some things on the back burner. Often it means simply letting something go that is not truly serving me.

How many things are you prioritizing? Are they all serving your current mission and vision? What might happen if you sacrifice the distractions and the unnecessary and focus on what really matters?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

If what you just read resonated, please share it with a friend.

"I'm just being me."

What does it mean to be authentic?

I'm not asking for the dictionary definition. Dictionaries aren't as authoritative as they make themselves out to be. They're always catching up to common usage.

Too often, authenticity is conflated with doing whatever you feel like doing or saying whatever you feel like saying. 

That doesn't sound like authenticity to me. That sounds like self-indulgence. What about you?

If your goal is to get attention, acting out and calling it authenticity will probably work. 

If you want to make a difference, saying what needs to be said and doing what needs to be done, even when you don't feel like it, just might. But that sounds more like integrity to me than authenticity.

So, maybe we're left to look up how the "authorities" define authenticity after all...

Here's the definition of authenticity according to Messrs. Merriam and Webster that seems most often in play: "true to one's own personality, spirit, or character."

And here, at least for me, is the problem with authenticity. It's boring.

I'm much less interested in who you think you are and much more interested in who you are becoming.

And shouldn't we also be a little more considerate about what happens when our authenticity bumps up against someone else's?

Maybe authenticity should be approached less as a static state of being and more like a process? Something we practice from the inside out? Stepping into a better version of ourselves?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

If what you just read resonated, please share it with a friend.

Seth Godin - "The work you get to do."

Insight and inspiration for flying higher in the difference only you can make from guests who have appeared on Creative on Purpose Live.

This week's wisdom comes from a conversation with Seth Godin, bestselling author and founder of of the altMBA and Akimbo Workshops. Tune into this entire conversation here.

[SETH] Something shifted for me probably the third year I was a book packager. So it must have been '87 or '88 and I came to the conclusion that this was something I get to do not something I have to do.

Because I knew I could make a living as a bank teller. I knew I could make a living. I got a freelance gig to tide me doing a twenty-page spreadsheet for a series of nursing homes that were being acquired. I knew I could do that and not starve to death.

So... I'm sorry that's the local fire department. If I was going to do this I should take the posture of "Wow. What a privilege." I get to mail out a book proposal and maybe, just maybe, someone will buy it. I get to write something on my blog and maybe, just maybe, someone will read it.

But I'm writing it because I get to write it, not because someone's gonna get to read it.

And over time that habit became priceless to me.

And I write the blog every day mostly for me. I'm thrilled when it resonates with someone but I love that I have the chance to do it. And having that attitude takes all the pressure off the other person. And now I'm giving them the freedom to make the decision they want to make.

So if someone comes to me and says "I've read a thousand of your blog post but never read your books." I'm like "Fine." That's okay because I'm not here to sell books. I'm here to change minds.

Seth delivered a powerful reminder about gratitude and work worth doing. How are you expressing gratitude for the work you get to do today?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

(BTW, you can watch this and every other entire interview in the Creative on Purpose Broadcast Archive. To learn more and access for free, click here.)

If what you just read resonated, please share it with a friend.

I'm a Weirdo.

I'm a weirdo.

Thinking back, even my earliest memories were about searching for something I couldn't quite define or describe and looking for signposts and maps to direct me there.

What about you? Do you find yourself in a coddiwomple? Purposely stepping toward a vague or unknown destination?

Maybe you're a weirdo too?

What is it about people like us who do things like this? Why can't we just be content with the tried and true? Follow the rules? Mind our place? Follow the herd? Stay with the status quo?

The truth is, I don't know. Do you?

There is one thing I've learned that has made all the difference in building Creative on Purpose into a prosperous and thriving enterprise—there is no map that can show you the way to your destiny.

Maps can only show you where others are and how they got there. If you're going to find your way into your purpose, you need a compass and you need to learn how to use it.

I've been extraordinarily privileged and lucky. I had a great childhood and education. I leveraged that into good jobs that supported me and my family while I developed a career in music.

I made the leap into performing and teaching full-time and rode that success for decades. All the while, the same questions gnawed at me that have since childhood. Is this all? Can't you be more and do better?

Participating in the altMBA and being contracted as an Akimbo Workshop head coach provided the insights and inspiration I needed to refine my focus, develop my discipline, and lean into the work of building my "what's next" in collaboration with others.

It wasn't easy. I spent years in the wilderness chasing ideas into tangled briar patches and down long rabbit holes. It was sometimes exhilarating. It was more often exhausting.

What motivated me to keep going? I didn't want to die with the difference only I can make still inside.

When did things turn around? When I trusted myself enough to invest in myself.

Thanks to the help of generous guides and a community of fellow travelers, I leveraged all my experiences into learning. Processes that I share to help people like you find your way into fulfillment and prosperity in the difference only you can make.

You can make a living by making a difference. I know this because I do this. I know you can too.

This is my origin story. Who I am and how I got to here. Are you ready to live your legacy? Do you want to make a better living while you make a bigger difference?

Let's work together to make things better.

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

If what you just read resonated, please share it with a friend.

What's mortality for?

That life ends is a fact.

For some, it is a cause of fear. For others, that our time ends is a motivator to make the most of whatever time we have left.

“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly.”—Marcus Aurelius

Memento mori (remember you die) is a time-tested approach advocated by those interested in the art of living well that informs modern therapeutic practices like positive psychology.

I believe that the fact that it will end is at the heart of life’s value.

The worth of a life is measured by the contribution made while you are able.

We are inherently social creatures. It’s how we survived and developed language (and our prefrontal cortex) when we first arrived on the planet. The dark side of our social nature is tribalism, leading to unhealthy behavior that impedes our well-being.

You enhance your own life most through endeavors that serve others.

The quality of your contribution defines the content of your character. How you frame yourself and your situation and what you decide to do next inform who we are and whom we seek to become. 

Legacy isn’t the monuments and money you leave behind. It’s the difference you make with and for others today.

Meditate on your death. Then take whatever you have left and live it on purpose.

Don’t die with the difference only you can make still inside. We need you.

Live your legacy.

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

If what you just read resonated, please share it with a friend.

Heather Vaughan-Southard on Patience

Insight and inspiration for flying higher in the difference only you can make from guests who have appeared on Creative on Purpose Live.

This week's wisdom comes from a conversation with Heather Vaughan-Southard, founder of HVS Movement. Tune into the entire conversation here.

[SCOTT]

I'm just wondering if there's, you know, is there one tip or lesson or idea that you haven't shared yet, that you think would be of value to someone, like you, that wants to that trust themselves enough to invest in themselves and to, you know, either aspires or wants to advance in the difference only they can make? Is there's just one last piece of wisdom that you'd be willing to share?

[HEATHER] I think...

I think it would be, "be patient."

There are seasons, you know?

I work... I've had a portfolio career. And I have a family. And I have really big ambitions.

And sometimes it can feel like it all has to happen immediately.

And I've come to learn that sometimes things work best when I treat them as if they come in seasons.

So sometimes I push this forward and other times I push that forward. And it's all still contained. And it's all part of the work or part of my life.

It's okay to have varying focal points at any one time.

[SCOTT] I really, really appreciate that. Yes, patience is indeed a virtue that probably most of us could practice more often.

Heather delivered a powerful reminder about the virtue of patience. How are you practicing and leveraging  patience today?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

(BTW, you can watch this and every other entire interview in the Creative on Purpose Broadcast Archive. To learn more and access for free, click here.)

If what you just read resonated, please share it with a friend.

Are you doing Monday on purpose?

I spent two-and-a-half years wandering around the wilderness trying to figure out Creative on Purpose's "what's it for" and "who's it for." I spun endless cycles on ideas and projects that took a lot of time and effort to create.

These efforts received zero engagement and traction with the audience I thought would benefit. Ugh!

Things shifted when I dialed in my vision and mission and created small viable offers for a specific audience who shared my values and needed my offer to enhance their lives.*

But things really started happening when I did two things.

Stopped adding things to my to-do list and put all but one thing on a stop-doing list.
Began each week with a Monday on Purpose exercise.

 I began every week with two statements.

Reflection - "What did I learn or accomplish last week?"
Intention - "What aim or aspiration am I setting for this week?"

Difference-makers like us have big, bold, audacious dreams we're pursuing. But when we keep our focus and attention too far ahead, it can be easy to put things off or hide in the enormity of the change we seek to make.

A stop-doing list and a weekly habit of reflection and intention setting sharpen the focus and provide more urgency to lean in and do the work daily.

Of course, it's rewarding to live every day on purpose. A Monday on Purpose practice helps set the tone and encourage you to get to the real work.

Are you starting your week on purpose?

*A complete process for dialing in your vision, mission, goals, strategy, and tactics is available in The Process: How to Get Work Worth Doing Done. The Creative on Purpose Handbook shares a process for defining the difference only you can make and deliver it successfully. You can pick up a complimentary copy of each when you enroll in a free 14-day trial of the Difference-Maker Community, where we gather for a Monday on Purpose call weekly.

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

If what you just read resonated, please share it with a friend.