Scott Perry's Blog, page 22

How to Beat Your Inner Saboteur

How do you negotiate with imposter syndrome, Resistance, your inner critic, or your itty bitty sh*tty committee?

Whatever you call any of its many manifestations, fear is always at the root of what holds us back. 

Although we rarely face life or death choices, our primordial brain reacts to every perceived uncertainty or adversity as an existential threat requiring a fight, flight, or freeze survival response.

What to do?

To avoid the consequences of rash, fear-based reactions and encourage a more measured, thoughtful reply, you must develop the skill of inserting a pause between stimulus and response.

When you feel nervous, restless, or tense (or, worse, endangered, panicked, or doomed), here's a sequential 3-step exercise that cultivates greater presence and mindfulness of your condition.

Breathe - Focusing and bringing your breath under control can reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety (elevated heartbeat, shallow breathing, and perspiration). I use a simple box breathing technique of breathing in, holding, and breathing out, doing each on a slow three-count.
Sense - Paying attention to your body also addresses the symptoms you experience when anxious. I mentally scan my body for tension, temperature, and do something tactile like rubbing my fingertips together, wiggling my toes, or taking a nice long stretch.
Ask - Getting curious invites your consciousness into the conversation. I like to ask myself questions like: "Why am I anxious?", "When have I felt this way before?" and "What's the worse that can happen?"

How do you hold a space for sitting in the tension of a troubling or trying moment? How might creating that space provide an opportunity to notice, name, and navigate your situation? How might that unblock what's really holding you back?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

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Who is purpose for?

If you're satisfied with the status quo (internal and external), finding, defining, and leveraging your purpose is probably not of much interest or use.

 

The roadmap provided by our educational and occupational systems is seductive—do what you're told (and what everyone else is doing), and you'll be supplied with conveniences, distractions, and occasional pleasures.

 

But for some of us, this status quo existence isn't sufficient.

 

Do you identify as any of, or some combination of, the following

Seeker
Server
Experimenter
Explorer
Learner
Leader

 

If so, then the trappings of "success" you're instructed to pursue at school and on the job are probably not enough. You strive to be and do more and better.

 

Why not do so with, for, and on purpose?

 

And here's a VITAL element of purpose. Although the who you need to start with is yourself, purpose-driven living is about working with and for others.

 

You enhance your life most through endeavors that serve others.

 

Purpose works best when you practice it from the inside out.

 

Got purpose?

 

I'll share how to find, define, and refine your purpose in the last email in this mini-course in a few days.

 

Until then, where do you think purpose lies?

 

Ready to investigate your purpose, define the difference only you can make, and live your legacy? A great place to start is with Creative on Purpose's Let Your Life Speak online program. Learn more here.

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

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Scott Perry - "Broken Or Broken Open?" (How to Get Unstuck)

Insight and inspiration for flying higher in the difference only you can make from guests who have appeared on Creative on Purpose Live.

This week's wisdom comes with a twist. This insight from a conversation I had with Lindsay Recknell on her outstanding podcast, Hope Motivates Action. Tune into the entire conversation here.

[LINDSAY] "I know that the work that you're doing with Creative on Purpose is to help people to make shifts that they might need to make in their lives."

"So if there are people that listening to the show, and I know for sure that there are, not listening live but listening in this way people that are listening, that may feel like they are stuck... Maybe they are midlife—done the things that they were supposed to do. They've climbed the corporate ladder. They get to this place and they go, 'Huh, is this all there is really?' What do you... What would you say to those people that would be hopeful?"

[SCOTT] "Sure. Well the first thing I would say is that experience that you're having is true and it's not your fault."

"We live in a world, I call it the industrial-educational-occupational complex. We are taught from a very young age that if we sit in straight lines and do as we're told and keep our heads downs and try to get along and follow the directions that we will be rewarded."

"And so you go to school and, if you get good grades, you get to go to school again where you can get good grades and then you can go get a job and you can get paid and you might move up the ladder by continuing to do what you're told."

"And then at some point, some of us wake up to the fact that despite doing all the things that we were told to do and doing them to the best of our ability we don't feel happy. We don't have a sense of meaning, flourishing, and thriving in our lives."

"And also to say, I hope that as you've been following the traditional path, you did experience some joy and meaning and some flourishing."

"But many of us at some point decide that what David Brooks calls the first mountain" is not the only journey available. Sometimes it requires us to see that there's another way, another mountain. Another way that we can approach our second act or second half of life."

"Sometimes that requires a fall, a failure, a trauma of some sort."

"And if we're lucky enough to be not completely broken but broken open, we might wake up to the idea that there's this other way to be. And if you're lucky enough to have survived whatever it is that wakes you up to that, you'll find there's more to it than status and salary and stuff."

"There is another path. A path of sacrifice, service, and soul. You can pursue that."

"And if you haven't seen it up to this point, again, that's because the system was rigged and stacked against you."

"If what I'm saying sounds like it's true or it's resonating on some level, then the invitation is that you have if you're listening to this, you have all the resources you need to investigate who you really are, what you're really good at, and where do you really belong."

"And I would argue that who you really are is your values your virtue—the content of your character. What you're really good at? Yeah, maybe the hard skills that you learned on the job and at school but maybe also, maybe even more so, the soft skills of human-to-human connection, communication, collaboration, and creativity. And where you belong is with people who share your values and need your talents to enhance their lives. Your life will be enhanced by serving and contributing to others."

"And I guess what also comes up for me. Lindsay, is we're all born into different situations, some more privileged than others. We're also all born with different temperaments and tolerances."

"Some of us just naturally have a more optimistic outlook than others. Some of us have naturally more resilience than others."

"And all these things that I'm talking about are also teachable learnable skills that we can develop through practice."

"You can become half-a-shave braver every day by just taking one courageous step into your potential and possibility every day."

"You can become a little bit kinder by practicing gratitude and generosity—a simple, small act of generosity, a simple statement of gratitude for an everyday experience, convenience, or pleasure."

"And you can step into your potential. And you can aspire to be... "

"At Creative on Purpose, we talk about 'living your legacy.'"

"Legacy isn't the money and monuments you leave behind, it's the difference you're making right now. And that invitation is open..."

"My assertion would be it's open to anybody that's listening. It merely comes down to a decision that 'I am going to investigate explore the edges of my understanding and ability and pursue a different way of being.'"

"And by doing that, you will become what you were meant to become."

"So leveraging the faith idea. If you trust yourself enough to invest in yourself and do the work to become what destiny has in store for you, then that is... You will move from the posture of 'life is happening to me,' the victim mentality of 'life is happening to me,' into the more heroic 'life is happening through me.'"

"And you will earn the trust and the faith that you can figure it out and you can find your way into a better way of being. "

[LINDSAY] "That feels so hopeful it gives me shivers almost to hear you speak about that."

I just delivered a powerful call to action to get unstuck, embrace your worthiness and start stepping into possibility. What story will you share today? Who will you share it with?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

(BTW, you can watch this and every other entire interview in the Creative on Purpose Broadcast Archive. To learn more and access for free, click here.)

If this resonates, please share it with a friend!

The Happiness Trap

"The pursuit of happiness" is a tricky phrase and a bit of an empty promise.

Happiness is less a sustainable destination and more a temporary side effect.

While we may get a momentary happiness injection from an accomplishment, victory, or moment of good fortune, feelings of happiness quickly fade.

Why is that?

Because happiness is not the point.

Ancient philosophical and spiritual traditions and modern psychology and neuroscience point to the same conclusion. The defining quality between human beings and other creatures isn't our pursuit of happiness. It's our pursuit of meaning.

Unlike happiness, meaning isn't a fleeting state and doesn't rely on satisfying our dreams and desires. Meaning is a comprehensive feeling of purposeful contribution to something bigger than ourselves.

What's more, we can forge meaning from any experience or circumstance, even those that involve hardship and pain. 

Don't get me wrong. There's nothing inherently wrong with happiness. When it visits, feel it and experience it fully. But is happiness overrated? 

What happens if, just for today, you stopped chasing happiness and sought meaning instead? What small purposeful contribution can you make today? How does that feel?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

If this resonates, please share it with a friend!

The Wisdom of Humility

What can you really be confident in or about? 

I mean, really, about what can you be absolutely certain?

I'd assert, not much.

Maybe death.

But who really knows if even that is an ultimate end?

And yet...

We are creatures that find comfort in and cling to the status quo.

We like to know what's expected and where we stand.

We crave assurance and reassurance.

And despite the many mythological, historical, and current examples of the consequences of hubris (the ancient Greek word for excessive pride or arrogance), we continue to reward those who project overconfidence and certainty with power and prestige.

Why?

In the myths and tragedies of the ancient Greeks, the ultimate effect of hubris is nemesis—divine retribution (literally "to get what is due"). Almost every ancient spiritual tradition teaches this as well.

In short, the consequence of excessive certainty, confidence, or pride is humiliation.

What to do?

Fortunately, human beings are full of paradoxes. We embrace certainty and the status quo, and we are curious and excel at exploration.

When we notice hubris, we can name it, navigate away from inevitable humiliation, and move toward humility instead.

We can get curious. 

We can nurture consideration.

We can cooperate and co-create a better way forward.

Where are the false confidences and dangerous certainties in your life? How might you notice, name, and navigate them?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

If this resonates, please share it with a friend!

Kylie Slavik - "Your story is your greatest asset."

Insight and inspiration for flying higher in the difference only you can make from guests who have appeared on Creative on Purpose Live.

This week's wisdom comes from a conversation with Kylie Slavik, Director of Storytelling at Conscious Marketer. Tune into the entire conversation here.

[KYLIE] "Your greatest asset in achieving everything you want to achieve is going to be your story. There's no way around it."

"And so, even if you're scared, even if you think you don't have a story, all these things. Nobody wants to hear it. It has to be intense and crazy and wild. It doesn't have to be."

"So just find that one way that you can express your humanity and start to express it and you will see a difference, I believe."

[SCOTT] "Yeah, I love that. It goes really well with your advice to just tell stories. We're natural-born storytellers, each and every one of us so, I love that" 

Kylie just delivered a powerful call to action to tell your story. What story will you share today? Who will you share it with?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

(BTW, you can watch this and every other entire interview in the Creative on Purpose Broadcast Archive. To learn more and access for free, click here.)

If this resonates, please share it with a friend!

The Affirmation Trap

I used to be a bit of an affirmation junkie.

You know, those positive self-statements espoused by self-help gurus like Louise Hay, Napoleon Hill, Anthony Robbins, and countless others.

Things like, “I am smart, funny, and attractive.”

But these affirmations never worked.

Turns out there’s scientific evidence that defines why positive affirmations are ineffective. Affirmations speak to the conscious mind and not to the subconscious where our negative self-narratives reside.

What to do?

Instead of affirmations, make interrogations instead.

Questions are powerful. They encourage us to get curious and probe for answers. Interrogation encourages us to explore and access your inner resources and step into your potential in endeavors that matter to you.

Here are my current interrogations:

Am I a loving husband, father, and grandfather?
Am I being and becoming more and better than what I’ve been?
Am I sufficient as I strive?
Am I the story of my choosing?
Am I inspiring and insightful?
Am I present and created a process that helps others make progress?
Do I see, step into, stay in, share my power and help those I serve to do the same?
Do I enhance my life by elevating the lives of others?
Am I a leader of leaders?
Do I make a difference?
Do I live my legacy?

What about you? What are the more beautiful questions you’re asking yourself today that will help you find your way into being a better you?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

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The Agony of Irrelevance

Human beings are sense-making machines. Our unique capacity for consciousness is the catalyst for this, and our social nature means that it is most often done in community.

When we find ourselves or our situation feeling irrelevant, this can cause a profound feeling of existential angst, individually and collectively.

But are any of us ever truly devoid of significance? Can't we forge relevance in any circumstance?

That is up to the individual, of course.

When anxiety, overwhelm, or angst come to visit, there is an opportunity to insert a pause, zoom out, and step into your power to choose your story, and thereby choose your future.

Renowned psychologist Viktor Frankl found meaning in the horror of Nazi concentration camps. More recently, Pakistani girls' education advocate Malala Yousafzai did the same even after being shot.

How might you reclaim authority over your narrative about yourself and your situation to make it mean something and inspire us to do the same?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

If this resonates, please share it with a friend!

Bob Wheeler - "Take the risk."

Insight and inspiration for flying higher in the difference only you can make from guests who have appeared on Creative on Purpose Live.

This week's wisdom comes from a conversation with Bob Wheeler, founder of The Money Nerve. Tune into the entire conversation here.

[BOB] "Take the risk."

"I think so many people out there, and I was one of those people who didn't think that I had the right to have a voice, or that anybody wanted to hear it."

"And the reality is everybody's story is unique and nobody can take away anybody's personal experience."

"And so there are so many amazing stories out there and there are so many ways to make the world a better place. And so I would just say to people, "Step past your fear do it anyway. You know?"

"If you're worried people are going to judge you, they are. If you think people aren't going to rally for you, they won't. Who cares? Take a risk." 

Bob delivered a powerful call to action to discover for yourself, does fortune favor the bold? Why not find out today?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

(BTW, you can watch this and every other entire interview in the Creative on Purpose Broadcast Archive. To learn more and access for free, click here.)

If this resonates, please share it with a friend!

What's really holding you back?

Fear is a many splendored thing. It comes in a dizzying variety of forms and flavors.

When we boil what holds any difference-maker back to its essence, that obstacle is some form of fear.

For a long time, I found the many facets of fear an impediment to my progress. It is, after all, difficult to work with, around, or through a challenge if you can't precisely define what it is.

A lifetime of dancing with all sorts of fear in various endeavors has given me some perspective on naming a fear I'm experiencing at any given moment more precisely.

Although there are dozens of words we use to describe fear. I've distilled them into three categories.

Anxiety - fear of future results you can't control
Regret - unhealthy attachment to narratives about the past we can't change
Overwhelm - angst over the uncertainty about the present

So, what's the value of these naming conventions?

My childhood love of Ursula Le Guin's A Wizard of Earthsea taught me the power of naming things. Naming helps you see, accept, and identify what truly is and helps you see, step into, and stay in your power to negotiate and navigate it.

When fear comes to visit, naming it is the challenging and necessary step for finding your way through.

What form is fear showing up in for you today? What's its name? What's next?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose. 

If this resonates, please share it with a friend!