Bill Conrad's Blog - Posts Tagged "reality"
The Back of My Head
What does the back of my head look like? Obviously, it looks like the back of everybody else’s head. To be sure, I have looked into mirrors, seen the back of my head on video, and looked at pictures of myself. Is that enough? Well, if I do not want to go crazy, then there is more than enough visual proof to prove (to myself) that the back of my head is normal.
I certainly have looked at other people’s heads without issue, and nobody has commented that the back of my head is unusual. Therefore, the leap of faith required for this safe assumption is small. However, I can never be sure what the back of my head looks like because I cannot directly observe it with my own eyes. Yes, I admit this is something I think about and probably should not give it a second thought.
What am I really asking? Am I in a simulation? Am I a character in an elaborate book? Do I have free will? What does this have to do with writing? The tie in is that a writer can create a character from nothing. This “person” will suddenly exist in the author's mind and the reader. “Bob walked into the room.” Just then, Bob became real. He was not born; I imagined him. Is Bob English? Does he have a yellow shirt? Can he speak Chinese? The author and reader do not understand, but does Bob know? He is not real and therefore, cannot answer his own question. However, authors and readers accept that Bob is a normal person. “There is a bug on Bob’s hand.” Now we know Bob has a hand and there is a bug on it.
Should I worry about this profound philosophical question? If I am in a simulation or a character in a book, I probably do not want to know. I have to be content living in a world without free will. As long as you do not read about my death, then I will be fine. Please do not skip a chapter!
I certainly have looked at other people’s heads without issue, and nobody has commented that the back of my head is unusual. Therefore, the leap of faith required for this safe assumption is small. However, I can never be sure what the back of my head looks like because I cannot directly observe it with my own eyes. Yes, I admit this is something I think about and probably should not give it a second thought.
What am I really asking? Am I in a simulation? Am I a character in an elaborate book? Do I have free will? What does this have to do with writing? The tie in is that a writer can create a character from nothing. This “person” will suddenly exist in the author's mind and the reader. “Bob walked into the room.” Just then, Bob became real. He was not born; I imagined him. Is Bob English? Does he have a yellow shirt? Can he speak Chinese? The author and reader do not understand, but does Bob know? He is not real and therefore, cannot answer his own question. However, authors and readers accept that Bob is a normal person. “There is a bug on Bob’s hand.” Now we know Bob has a hand and there is a bug on it.
Should I worry about this profound philosophical question? If I am in a simulation or a character in a book, I probably do not want to know. I have to be content living in a world without free will. As long as you do not read about my death, then I will be fine. Please do not skip a chapter!
Uninventing
In college, my friends and I watched movies every Wednesday night at the pub. (It was not really a pub, but we still called it a pub.) The place had a widescreen projection television that only looked good from a specific viewing angle connected to a low-quality VCR. More than once, they called the event off because the system did not work.
One night, they showed The Princess Bride. I had not been looking forward to watching that particular movie because of its lousy previews. However, I attended to be social, and because my roommate insisted.
Wow, what a fantastic movie. Since then, I have seen it at least 20 times, and I still enjoy every scene. But that is also a problem because I will never experience the same joy of seeing it for the first time.
How great would it be to watch that movie with a fresh perspective? Unfortunately, baring a major brain injury, we cannot uninvent watching a movie. Our only option is to create a new movie and hope it will be good.
What about an awful movie? After it debuts, we will forget it ever existed. Is that like uninventing? Perhaps. However, some people will remember it, and that is the point. A book, movie, or play will always be remembered. Even a shoddy work will leave an imprint that can never be undone.
There is hope. My daughter and I recently watched The Princess Bride. She loved it and quoted lines from the movie. I suppose that is as close to “uninventing” that the human mind can accept.
One night, they showed The Princess Bride. I had not been looking forward to watching that particular movie because of its lousy previews. However, I attended to be social, and because my roommate insisted.
Wow, what a fantastic movie. Since then, I have seen it at least 20 times, and I still enjoy every scene. But that is also a problem because I will never experience the same joy of seeing it for the first time.
How great would it be to watch that movie with a fresh perspective? Unfortunately, baring a major brain injury, we cannot uninvent watching a movie. Our only option is to create a new movie and hope it will be good.
What about an awful movie? After it debuts, we will forget it ever existed. Is that like uninventing? Perhaps. However, some people will remember it, and that is the point. A book, movie, or play will always be remembered. Even a shoddy work will leave an imprint that can never be undone.
There is hope. My daughter and I recently watched The Princess Bride. She loved it and quoted lines from the movie. I suppose that is as close to “uninventing” that the human mind can accept.
Is This Real?
From 1940 to 1958, MGM studios made Tom and Jerry cartoons. They placed these short films in front of movies, and in the '60-80s, MGM made cartoons for Saturday morning shows. A full-length movie is about to be released. Recently, I happened across the following YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNGQm...
In the YouTube video, we see two kittens watching a Tom and Jerry video (film) Cue Ball Cat from 1950. As I watched the kittens being thoroughly riveted, I realized the kittens 100% thought the action was real. The cat Tom and the mouse Jerry were actual animals.
Humans also get fooled by optical illusions. For example, a magician making a rabbit disappear. The audience knows the action is a trick, but we are at a loss to explain what occurred. On rare occasions, we get convinced an optical illusion is real. In a previous blog, I confessed to believing a car disappeared:
https://interviewingimmortality.com/b...
A child watching the same magic show might truly believe the rabbit disappeared because the child does not have adult experience to guide them. But what about an adult who is unaware of magic? Let's rewind the clock to 0 AD. Society was learning how to write words, and film/video technology did not exist. Let's present the same disappearing rabbit trick to a crowd of adults who do not know magic. I would venture that many of them would agree the rabbit truly disappeared. Yet, some would be skeptical.
Now, let's show the same 0 AD crowd that Tom and Jerry video. The video would amaze the crowd, but if you asked them to pay closer attention, they would understand the characters are drawn (cartoons.) The cartoon would only convince a few people that it is real.
It is impossible to ask kittens their opinion, but I can guess they fully believe the characters are real. This concept made me wonder how much of my life is an illusion. Am I in the Matrix or on the Star Trek Holodeck? Clearly, I am not, but that cartoon gave me a lot to think about. Take another look at that video and focus on the cat’s expression. They believe and there is a lot more to life than meets the eye.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNGQm...
In the YouTube video, we see two kittens watching a Tom and Jerry video (film) Cue Ball Cat from 1950. As I watched the kittens being thoroughly riveted, I realized the kittens 100% thought the action was real. The cat Tom and the mouse Jerry were actual animals.
Humans also get fooled by optical illusions. For example, a magician making a rabbit disappear. The audience knows the action is a trick, but we are at a loss to explain what occurred. On rare occasions, we get convinced an optical illusion is real. In a previous blog, I confessed to believing a car disappeared:
https://interviewingimmortality.com/b...
A child watching the same magic show might truly believe the rabbit disappeared because the child does not have adult experience to guide them. But what about an adult who is unaware of magic? Let's rewind the clock to 0 AD. Society was learning how to write words, and film/video technology did not exist. Let's present the same disappearing rabbit trick to a crowd of adults who do not know magic. I would venture that many of them would agree the rabbit truly disappeared. Yet, some would be skeptical.
Now, let's show the same 0 AD crowd that Tom and Jerry video. The video would amaze the crowd, but if you asked them to pay closer attention, they would understand the characters are drawn (cartoons.) The cartoon would only convince a few people that it is real.
It is impossible to ask kittens their opinion, but I can guess they fully believe the characters are real. This concept made me wonder how much of my life is an illusion. Am I in the Matrix or on the Star Trek Holodeck? Clearly, I am not, but that cartoon gave me a lot to think about. Take another look at that video and focus on the cat’s expression. They believe and there is a lot more to life than meets the eye.
How I’d Survive in My Novels
Authors can create anything in words. A different universe loaded with flying whales? Sure. A rooting-tooting bunch of cowboys? Easy. A book allows the author and the reader’s mind to be and do anything. How does this work? Simple, the author thinks about a topic and writes up a storm. The only problem is that their imagination limits them.
This means that they must visualize some part of themselves in the action, and I am no exception. Long before I wrote my first book, I spent hours before falling asleep thinking about adventure stories. I was the lead character and got into all kinds of trouble.
When I decided to become an author, I chose my top three ideas, and the writing battle began. Unfortunately, I made a big mistake. In my first two books, my main male character was modeled too closely to me. I did not understand that distancing a character from myself would have provided more freedom to explore the plot—rookie mistake. Fortunately, I added a few differences. So, I thought it would be a fun exercise to explore how I would do in the environments I created.
My first book is about a less-than-perfect, and mildly successful, author who gets forced to interview a woman who has been alive for over 500 years. Now, I admit to another mistake. I have since learned that readers immediately compare my plot to Stephen King’s novel, Misery. While my book has nothing to do with his novel, I should have made my main character a blogger, influencer, or English teacher. Live and learn…
How well would I fare if I were transported into my imagined reality? First, I must point out a key difference. I am not a less-than-perfect person. Yes, my life is boring, but I have far more confidence, higher ethics, greater intelligence, and am less susceptible to manipulation than my main character. This leads to a problem with my mental exercise. The immortal woman in my story searched for a specific kind of person whom she could scare into doing her bidding. Thus, only a weak individual would have survived in my story.
If I were in this situation, she would have captured me, asked me to write her story, and I would have refused. Then, she would have disposed of my body. A poorly written one-chapter book… Yikes!
Yet, there is more to this hypothetical situation. Sure, I have covered the basics, but humans are survivors. Could I navigate the situation differently, resulting in a different plot? So, I put on my thinking cap and developed an alternate possibility.
This woman is open to reason and there is a slim chance I could successfully state my case. “I have a family. Please do not kill me.” My only other option would be a fight to the death. While I am certainly not a martial arts person, I would have put in every ounce of strength to survive. Therefore, the story would contain a capture, a passionate argument, and a short, yet intense, fight scene. So… three chapters? More noodle effort required.
Let’s consider my strengths. I am more logical and realistic than my main character. Therefore, I would have identified her needs and allowed myself to become the kind of person who could have survived. Notepad in hand, I would have learned about her life just like my main character, and I can see myself enjoying the process because she is a fascinating individual.
In conclusion, if I allowed my morals to slip, I would see myself as a survivor. It would not be a great story because the main character would yield to her every wish. And it would make a lousy first book because I wanted a foundation for subsequent works. Meaning the theme of overcoming flaws would not exist, and I use this series of flaws to allow my character to grow over the following four books.
Yet, as I think about this possibility, I come to another conclusion. This outcome has a slim chance of success because my female main character is very perceptive and likely would have seen through my ruse. That is why my compelling story kept me entertained for so many years…
My second book also had a main character that hit too close to home. An electrical engineer with a family on an Alaskan cruise. Big surprise! I developed this plot while on an Alaskan cruise with my family, and I am an electrical engineer. Fortunately, like my first book, the main character and I have differences. He was more intelligent, but had less confidence, personality, and physical strength.
In the story, this male character and a young woman survive a cruise ship disaster. They hike through the foreboding Alaskan wilderness with many adventures. How would I do in this situation?
My first reaction would be to spend more time waiting to be rescued rather than trekking through the rugged wilderness. This decision is more logical and the result would be that my companion and I would have starved to death. And there is another problem, besides being an adventure, this book is a romance.
When I developed the plot, I took great care to set up the exact circumstances that would destroy the values of an upstanding married man enough to enable him to fall in love with his companion. This was a bear attack combined with confronting the loss of his family.
I am not the type of person who holds in their emotions; therefore, I would have immediately mourned for my family. Plus, while a bear is a daunting predator, I have better self-defense skills than my main character. Of course, that last sentence is easy to write in my calm office. So again, I put on my thinking cap and thought about how the real me would react.
The interactions between the two characters on the cruise ship would be different. The man is easily intimidated by a confident and attractive woman. She takes advantage of his deficiencies to help her situation, which leads to the beginning of a relationship. So, I do not think a romance would ever occur. But what about an adventure?
I have a strong drive to survive, so in desperation, I can see myself heading south in the Alaskan wilderness. The difference is that in my book, the decision process only took two pages, whereas I would require at least half a chapter to think it through. The result, while tough, would be an interesting bear attack and nothing else. Six mildly adventurous chapters conclude with the two main characters departing company with a hearty handshake. Yay, romance…
My third book is a classic spy novel, and by the time I wrote this story, I had learned my lesson. None of the characters are based on me or any aspect of my life. So, what would have happened if I wrote myself in? The answer is not much.
My story begins with two hunting buddies finding a secret installation that intercepted government communication cables. So, let’s pretend I was one of the hunters. I can see myself doing exactly what they did. Not very exciting. Why? I did not write an adventure story. It is an international mystery that governments solve through law enforcement.
The same is true of all the other characters—for example, the FBI agents. To become an FBI agent, one must undergo training and then work alongside fellow agents. So, if I were magically put into the plot as an FBI agent, I would do precisely what the FBI agents did in my plot.
This was the overall theme of my book. I wanted to create a realistic spy novel, far different from a James Bond kind of mega-hero. In my plot, characters fulfill their roles, and other characters are inadvertently drawn into the plot. I did this because this is how the real world works.
So, yes, I would be scared when the bad guys were mean, but I would react in the same way I do in daily life. Allow me to provide an “exciting” example from my real life.
Four weeks ago, I was driving home from the local movie theater at 9:30 p.m. when I saw a man running on the sidewalk. I took no interest. Suddenly, he spun around and fired a gun twice. (He may have been shooting at the person chasing him.) The event scared me silly, and I called 911 while driving away, almost hitting a car. Side note: I provided the police with my dash camera video and assisted with their investigation. So far, the case remains open.
But… Is that event worthy of writing into a book? Absolutely not, but that was not how I wrote my book. I created each fictional event not to be exciting. When combined, the total formed a thrilling plot. So, based on my recent shooting experience, I would have been frightened, but that’s it.
I have two upcoming books, which are about four years away from publishing. One is a dystopian science fiction romance, and the other is a dystopian young adult survival/drama. How would I survive in these words?
For the romantic book, I admit that the main male character is hitting too close to home again. As I polish the outline, I will try to distance myself from him. So, how would I survive this bleak, futuristic world?
At its heart, my story is a romance, not an adventure or drama. Thus, I would do fine. Meaning, the most significant battles are with the legal system. Yet, I must ask myself, “Would I make the same mistakes and decisions?”
Like my first two books, my main character has flaws that I do not have, so there would be differences, but I think the result would be the same. At its core, my story is about a man falling in love with a robot. Can I see myself in this situation? I suppose, but it would be tough to overcome my morals. (I admit it. I like women. Robots… Yeah, not so much.) I plan to make this dilemma the heart of my story. Get it? Heart. Yes, that was a pun.
My other story is about teenagers, and at this stage of development, the main female character does not have another main character to interact with. Can I set aside my reality and imagine myself as a female teenager navigating a tough, futuristic situation?
This is a difficult task because my story has many differences from the present day. Let me remind you that, like you, my brain is a product of living in today’s society. Everything I have learned socially and technically would not be present in this character. How could it? You and I are not living in a bleak future. So, let me put my thinking cap on again.
My character has far more inner strength, street smarts, a survival drive, and life experiences that are more challenging than my own. I must conclude that I would not be strong enough to survive in this future. Until this very moment, I had not considered this. Hmm. I guess I could be a minor character. But… all the minor characters are jerks.
This exercise taught me a lot about myself and my writing. I think I will do it again in a year and compare the results. Stay tuned.
You’re the best -Bill
July 09, 2025
This means that they must visualize some part of themselves in the action, and I am no exception. Long before I wrote my first book, I spent hours before falling asleep thinking about adventure stories. I was the lead character and got into all kinds of trouble.
When I decided to become an author, I chose my top three ideas, and the writing battle began. Unfortunately, I made a big mistake. In my first two books, my main male character was modeled too closely to me. I did not understand that distancing a character from myself would have provided more freedom to explore the plot—rookie mistake. Fortunately, I added a few differences. So, I thought it would be a fun exercise to explore how I would do in the environments I created.
My first book is about a less-than-perfect, and mildly successful, author who gets forced to interview a woman who has been alive for over 500 years. Now, I admit to another mistake. I have since learned that readers immediately compare my plot to Stephen King’s novel, Misery. While my book has nothing to do with his novel, I should have made my main character a blogger, influencer, or English teacher. Live and learn…
How well would I fare if I were transported into my imagined reality? First, I must point out a key difference. I am not a less-than-perfect person. Yes, my life is boring, but I have far more confidence, higher ethics, greater intelligence, and am less susceptible to manipulation than my main character. This leads to a problem with my mental exercise. The immortal woman in my story searched for a specific kind of person whom she could scare into doing her bidding. Thus, only a weak individual would have survived in my story.
If I were in this situation, she would have captured me, asked me to write her story, and I would have refused. Then, she would have disposed of my body. A poorly written one-chapter book… Yikes!
Yet, there is more to this hypothetical situation. Sure, I have covered the basics, but humans are survivors. Could I navigate the situation differently, resulting in a different plot? So, I put on my thinking cap and developed an alternate possibility.
This woman is open to reason and there is a slim chance I could successfully state my case. “I have a family. Please do not kill me.” My only other option would be a fight to the death. While I am certainly not a martial arts person, I would have put in every ounce of strength to survive. Therefore, the story would contain a capture, a passionate argument, and a short, yet intense, fight scene. So… three chapters? More noodle effort required.
Let’s consider my strengths. I am more logical and realistic than my main character. Therefore, I would have identified her needs and allowed myself to become the kind of person who could have survived. Notepad in hand, I would have learned about her life just like my main character, and I can see myself enjoying the process because she is a fascinating individual.
In conclusion, if I allowed my morals to slip, I would see myself as a survivor. It would not be a great story because the main character would yield to her every wish. And it would make a lousy first book because I wanted a foundation for subsequent works. Meaning the theme of overcoming flaws would not exist, and I use this series of flaws to allow my character to grow over the following four books.
Yet, as I think about this possibility, I come to another conclusion. This outcome has a slim chance of success because my female main character is very perceptive and likely would have seen through my ruse. That is why my compelling story kept me entertained for so many years…
My second book also had a main character that hit too close to home. An electrical engineer with a family on an Alaskan cruise. Big surprise! I developed this plot while on an Alaskan cruise with my family, and I am an electrical engineer. Fortunately, like my first book, the main character and I have differences. He was more intelligent, but had less confidence, personality, and physical strength.
In the story, this male character and a young woman survive a cruise ship disaster. They hike through the foreboding Alaskan wilderness with many adventures. How would I do in this situation?
My first reaction would be to spend more time waiting to be rescued rather than trekking through the rugged wilderness. This decision is more logical and the result would be that my companion and I would have starved to death. And there is another problem, besides being an adventure, this book is a romance.
When I developed the plot, I took great care to set up the exact circumstances that would destroy the values of an upstanding married man enough to enable him to fall in love with his companion. This was a bear attack combined with confronting the loss of his family.
I am not the type of person who holds in their emotions; therefore, I would have immediately mourned for my family. Plus, while a bear is a daunting predator, I have better self-defense skills than my main character. Of course, that last sentence is easy to write in my calm office. So again, I put on my thinking cap and thought about how the real me would react.
The interactions between the two characters on the cruise ship would be different. The man is easily intimidated by a confident and attractive woman. She takes advantage of his deficiencies to help her situation, which leads to the beginning of a relationship. So, I do not think a romance would ever occur. But what about an adventure?
I have a strong drive to survive, so in desperation, I can see myself heading south in the Alaskan wilderness. The difference is that in my book, the decision process only took two pages, whereas I would require at least half a chapter to think it through. The result, while tough, would be an interesting bear attack and nothing else. Six mildly adventurous chapters conclude with the two main characters departing company with a hearty handshake. Yay, romance…
My third book is a classic spy novel, and by the time I wrote this story, I had learned my lesson. None of the characters are based on me or any aspect of my life. So, what would have happened if I wrote myself in? The answer is not much.
My story begins with two hunting buddies finding a secret installation that intercepted government communication cables. So, let’s pretend I was one of the hunters. I can see myself doing exactly what they did. Not very exciting. Why? I did not write an adventure story. It is an international mystery that governments solve through law enforcement.
The same is true of all the other characters—for example, the FBI agents. To become an FBI agent, one must undergo training and then work alongside fellow agents. So, if I were magically put into the plot as an FBI agent, I would do precisely what the FBI agents did in my plot.
This was the overall theme of my book. I wanted to create a realistic spy novel, far different from a James Bond kind of mega-hero. In my plot, characters fulfill their roles, and other characters are inadvertently drawn into the plot. I did this because this is how the real world works.
So, yes, I would be scared when the bad guys were mean, but I would react in the same way I do in daily life. Allow me to provide an “exciting” example from my real life.
Four weeks ago, I was driving home from the local movie theater at 9:30 p.m. when I saw a man running on the sidewalk. I took no interest. Suddenly, he spun around and fired a gun twice. (He may have been shooting at the person chasing him.) The event scared me silly, and I called 911 while driving away, almost hitting a car. Side note: I provided the police with my dash camera video and assisted with their investigation. So far, the case remains open.
But… Is that event worthy of writing into a book? Absolutely not, but that was not how I wrote my book. I created each fictional event not to be exciting. When combined, the total formed a thrilling plot. So, based on my recent shooting experience, I would have been frightened, but that’s it.
I have two upcoming books, which are about four years away from publishing. One is a dystopian science fiction romance, and the other is a dystopian young adult survival/drama. How would I survive in these words?
For the romantic book, I admit that the main male character is hitting too close to home again. As I polish the outline, I will try to distance myself from him. So, how would I survive this bleak, futuristic world?
At its heart, my story is a romance, not an adventure or drama. Thus, I would do fine. Meaning, the most significant battles are with the legal system. Yet, I must ask myself, “Would I make the same mistakes and decisions?”
Like my first two books, my main character has flaws that I do not have, so there would be differences, but I think the result would be the same. At its core, my story is about a man falling in love with a robot. Can I see myself in this situation? I suppose, but it would be tough to overcome my morals. (I admit it. I like women. Robots… Yeah, not so much.) I plan to make this dilemma the heart of my story. Get it? Heart. Yes, that was a pun.
My other story is about teenagers, and at this stage of development, the main female character does not have another main character to interact with. Can I set aside my reality and imagine myself as a female teenager navigating a tough, futuristic situation?
This is a difficult task because my story has many differences from the present day. Let me remind you that, like you, my brain is a product of living in today’s society. Everything I have learned socially and technically would not be present in this character. How could it? You and I are not living in a bleak future. So, let me put my thinking cap on again.
My character has far more inner strength, street smarts, a survival drive, and life experiences that are more challenging than my own. I must conclude that I would not be strong enough to survive in this future. Until this very moment, I had not considered this. Hmm. I guess I could be a minor character. But… all the minor characters are jerks.
This exercise taught me a lot about myself and my writing. I think I will do it again in a year and compare the results. Stay tuned.
You’re the best -Bill
July 09, 2025
