Bill Conrad's Blog - Posts Tagged "anger"
Write Angry
Since covid, I have been re-watching movies because of the limited number of new releases. My selection included the ‘80s action/adventure movie Blue Thunder which revolved around a high-tech helicopter. While dated, it had a good story and exciting action. The DVD also contained a “making of” video with many interesting facts and behind-the-scenes footage.
One fascinating gem was that the story was not based on a book. Instead, Dan O’Bannon came up with the script one night when a helicopter buzzed around his house with a searchlight. The incident made him so mad that he started writing. The video advised people to “write when you are angry.” That really got me thinking.
Anger is a powerful tool. It gets us off our butts, provides energy, and creates ideas. Unfortunately, a pleasant individual might even resort to violence. Entire nations have gone to war because they were angry.
Do I ever write when I am angry? A long while ago, I learned the hard way never to edit while emotional. So here is a blog about that experience.
https://interviewingimmortality.com/b...
However, I have never tried writing while angry. Then, a month ago, in the late evening, my job stress peaked, and I wrote something. One of my bucket list items was to write about book reviews. So, I bangled away for three hours. The result was not even a helpful guide; instead, it was a set of incoherent orders. Not my best work.
Yet, when I took a step back, my creation was to the point and gave the reader an accurate view of my beliefs. Is that not the point of a “how-to guide?” Yes, but that does not mean the reader will enjoy the document.
What about the idea (concept) quality? Was my document more creative? The result was not too creative or insightful. Plus, the document quality was poor. But unfortunately, that was not the fundamental problem. My points were not solid, and the document had no structure.
There was a bright side. The experience got me thinking about the creative process. Writing angry felt good. I had a creative and safe outlet to vet my thoughts. Is there a place in my life to write angry? Perhaps I could use it to create gritty scenes. Our hero bursts into the room and beats up the bad guy. Take that! Throw some punches. Let’s examine that last sentence. I do not want to punch somebody, but I can write such actions. “Bill punched Sally.” How cruel! Bill is my real name, which means I truly wished to inflict pain on a woman. No, I did not. Those were only words. Nobody got threatened, injured, or in danger. Simple words. And now, I have less anger in my heart. Plus, I got a mean statement “on paper” that can be edited.
In the future, I will experiment with writing when I am angry. Perhaps some plot ideas or a rage-filled scene? Will any of this anger end up in a book? Perhaps. Will I be “angry blogging?” I have to admit something to my four blog readers. I was upset while writing this blog. Work has been... Well, I am no longer working. So, my four blog readers got a few angry words. And I did something out of character. I applied minimal editing to give my four blog readers some” raw Bill thoughts.”
Am I proud of this blog? To me, it reads brash. However, this document reads direct and provides perspective. So, my four blog readers are getting a peek into my angry mind. Fortunately, my soul only has a few mean corners.
One fascinating gem was that the story was not based on a book. Instead, Dan O’Bannon came up with the script one night when a helicopter buzzed around his house with a searchlight. The incident made him so mad that he started writing. The video advised people to “write when you are angry.” That really got me thinking.
Anger is a powerful tool. It gets us off our butts, provides energy, and creates ideas. Unfortunately, a pleasant individual might even resort to violence. Entire nations have gone to war because they were angry.
Do I ever write when I am angry? A long while ago, I learned the hard way never to edit while emotional. So here is a blog about that experience.
https://interviewingimmortality.com/b...
However, I have never tried writing while angry. Then, a month ago, in the late evening, my job stress peaked, and I wrote something. One of my bucket list items was to write about book reviews. So, I bangled away for three hours. The result was not even a helpful guide; instead, it was a set of incoherent orders. Not my best work.
Yet, when I took a step back, my creation was to the point and gave the reader an accurate view of my beliefs. Is that not the point of a “how-to guide?” Yes, but that does not mean the reader will enjoy the document.
What about the idea (concept) quality? Was my document more creative? The result was not too creative or insightful. Plus, the document quality was poor. But unfortunately, that was not the fundamental problem. My points were not solid, and the document had no structure.
There was a bright side. The experience got me thinking about the creative process. Writing angry felt good. I had a creative and safe outlet to vet my thoughts. Is there a place in my life to write angry? Perhaps I could use it to create gritty scenes. Our hero bursts into the room and beats up the bad guy. Take that! Throw some punches. Let’s examine that last sentence. I do not want to punch somebody, but I can write such actions. “Bill punched Sally.” How cruel! Bill is my real name, which means I truly wished to inflict pain on a woman. No, I did not. Those were only words. Nobody got threatened, injured, or in danger. Simple words. And now, I have less anger in my heart. Plus, I got a mean statement “on paper” that can be edited.
In the future, I will experiment with writing when I am angry. Perhaps some plot ideas or a rage-filled scene? Will any of this anger end up in a book? Perhaps. Will I be “angry blogging?” I have to admit something to my four blog readers. I was upset while writing this blog. Work has been... Well, I am no longer working. So, my four blog readers got a few angry words. And I did something out of character. I applied minimal editing to give my four blog readers some” raw Bill thoughts.”
Am I proud of this blog? To me, it reads brash. However, this document reads direct and provides perspective. So, my four blog readers are getting a peek into my angry mind. Fortunately, my soul only has a few mean corners.
Don’t Get Mad
Early in my career, I was in a meeting about an all too familiar topic, whether the device was a door, a drawer, or a shelf. This argument only makes sense to four people on the planet, so I will provide an equivalent argument. It is called the Internet, the internet, the world wide web, the innerweb, the information super highway or something else? All these answers are mostly valid, but the internet (lowercase) is the most universal. Yet… the innerweb sounds fun. Also, the World Wide Web sounds classic and proper. Internet should always be capitalized. The information super highway? Who could argue against that mighty name? Nobody!
Who cares? Pick one! I am sure that this is what you are thinking. However, that was the problem. We had picked the device type, and then it got changed and changed again. This re-decision messed up documentation, drawings, programming, databases, and training. People were going crazy with changes, and the arguments became more and more heated.
Where was the change coming from? There were three sources. The first was disagreements between the database team and the programmer. The second was that the programmer had an arrogant streak. The third was that we did not (I never understood why) invite a database representative to these meetings.
The programmer thrived in this angry environment and argued something new every week. It all came to a head (for me) in one meeting, and I started yelling to choose one and be done with the arguing. The meeting ended without a decision. Later, my boss pulled me aside and said, “Don’t get mad. Never get mad.” I immediately understood what he was saying, and no further words were necessary.
I remained pleasant during the many follow-up meetings and used logic to state my position. In total, there were at least five meetings of this type.
I have often applied my boss’s sage wisdom many times. It probably saved my job at least once and improved the work environment. Of course, inside, I was screaming mad and desperately wanted to do something violent.
Why do workplace arguments get so heated? A mix of personality, pride, incompetence, turf protection, immaturity, and arrogance. We are human, and humans have limitations, flaws, and problems.
Have I ever broken my cool since that fateful day? I recall three instances. In one, an incompetent coworker was being… Well, an idiot. I ended the meeting with, “We’re done,” and stormed away. Another time, an incompetent coworker did his best to make me the scapegoat of his incompetence (his only ability), and I (calmly) called him out during a meeting. He yelled back all kinds of wild accusations. Did I lose my cool? Sort of. Here was the strange part. His boss backed him up because management blamed their department, and he needed to save face. The actual work was not difficult (basic documentation of a test), and it would have been much easier to remedy the entire situation with cooperation.
The third instance involved a coworker who refused to let a topic go. After we decided something trivial, he would go back to it and back to it. I knew I would lose it if I had one more meeting with him. So, I asked my boss to change me to another project. If he had not done this, one of two things would have occurred. I would have punched his lights out, or I (most likely) would have left the company.
What happened with the door, drawer, or shelf argument? That’s a funny story. Two years after the decision (drawer), we had another re-decide meeting. I no longer cared about the issue and presented my data without fanfare. But the programmer got under my boss’s skin, and he detonated. Swear words flew, the threats were real, and threatening body language nearly became physical.
Now, you know what happened next. After the meeting, I pulled my boss aside and provided sage advice, “Don’t get mad. Never get mad. You told me this.” He had forgotten about my original incident and his excellent advice.
When this programmer was in a good mood, we got along well and did fantastic work. But he had a twisted streak. One day (years after I left the company), he told a coworker she had to have a relationship with him, or he would fire her. Human Resources got involved, and he got disciplined.
For some reason, men/managers had protection at that company. In another instance, I had several meetings/conversations with an ultra-chauvinistic vice president at the same company. His comments about the women were so bad that I feared for my job because of my presence during these incidents. What did upper management do? They gave him his own company.
I believe the pinnacle of human development is to learn from other people’s mistakes. So, it is good advice never to get angry at your workplace. Let the fools yell, scream, and curse. Your peers and managers will respect your silence and professional attitude. Want another piece of sage wisdom? When it is icy, always use the handrails. Guess how I know that?
You’re the best -Bill
October 11, 2023
Who cares? Pick one! I am sure that this is what you are thinking. However, that was the problem. We had picked the device type, and then it got changed and changed again. This re-decision messed up documentation, drawings, programming, databases, and training. People were going crazy with changes, and the arguments became more and more heated.
Where was the change coming from? There were three sources. The first was disagreements between the database team and the programmer. The second was that the programmer had an arrogant streak. The third was that we did not (I never understood why) invite a database representative to these meetings.
The programmer thrived in this angry environment and argued something new every week. It all came to a head (for me) in one meeting, and I started yelling to choose one and be done with the arguing. The meeting ended without a decision. Later, my boss pulled me aside and said, “Don’t get mad. Never get mad.” I immediately understood what he was saying, and no further words were necessary.
I remained pleasant during the many follow-up meetings and used logic to state my position. In total, there were at least five meetings of this type.
I have often applied my boss’s sage wisdom many times. It probably saved my job at least once and improved the work environment. Of course, inside, I was screaming mad and desperately wanted to do something violent.
Why do workplace arguments get so heated? A mix of personality, pride, incompetence, turf protection, immaturity, and arrogance. We are human, and humans have limitations, flaws, and problems.
Have I ever broken my cool since that fateful day? I recall three instances. In one, an incompetent coworker was being… Well, an idiot. I ended the meeting with, “We’re done,” and stormed away. Another time, an incompetent coworker did his best to make me the scapegoat of his incompetence (his only ability), and I (calmly) called him out during a meeting. He yelled back all kinds of wild accusations. Did I lose my cool? Sort of. Here was the strange part. His boss backed him up because management blamed their department, and he needed to save face. The actual work was not difficult (basic documentation of a test), and it would have been much easier to remedy the entire situation with cooperation.
The third instance involved a coworker who refused to let a topic go. After we decided something trivial, he would go back to it and back to it. I knew I would lose it if I had one more meeting with him. So, I asked my boss to change me to another project. If he had not done this, one of two things would have occurred. I would have punched his lights out, or I (most likely) would have left the company.
What happened with the door, drawer, or shelf argument? That’s a funny story. Two years after the decision (drawer), we had another re-decide meeting. I no longer cared about the issue and presented my data without fanfare. But the programmer got under my boss’s skin, and he detonated. Swear words flew, the threats were real, and threatening body language nearly became physical.
Now, you know what happened next. After the meeting, I pulled my boss aside and provided sage advice, “Don’t get mad. Never get mad. You told me this.” He had forgotten about my original incident and his excellent advice.
When this programmer was in a good mood, we got along well and did fantastic work. But he had a twisted streak. One day (years after I left the company), he told a coworker she had to have a relationship with him, or he would fire her. Human Resources got involved, and he got disciplined.
For some reason, men/managers had protection at that company. In another instance, I had several meetings/conversations with an ultra-chauvinistic vice president at the same company. His comments about the women were so bad that I feared for my job because of my presence during these incidents. What did upper management do? They gave him his own company.
I believe the pinnacle of human development is to learn from other people’s mistakes. So, it is good advice never to get angry at your workplace. Let the fools yell, scream, and curse. Your peers and managers will respect your silence and professional attitude. Want another piece of sage wisdom? When it is icy, always use the handrails. Guess how I know that?
You’re the best -Bill
October 11, 2023
Anger Inspires, Exercise Expands, Sleep Mulls, and Writing Vets
My family has had 1,000 watts of drama over the last months, but I do not wish to share my chaotic details because I am a private person. Umm, truth. I really want to share this mess and would value your input. Alright, alright. You deserve a hint. Borderline Personality Disorder. If you know somebody who suffers from this malady, you know how much destruction it causes.
The drama caused many painful emotions, angry thoughts and serious courses of action. It has caused multiple sleepless nights because my mind would not let the problems go. Anger was chief among my feelings and I was surprised how many great story ideas I developed during my angry thought process. Fortunately, I have learned to have a notepad handy and recorded many ideas, including eight article concepts, an entire chapter for an upcoming book and two short story ideas.
My idea for this article was to share my ideas and evaluate them, but as I looked at the chaos I reordered, it occurred to me that the ideas were not that great. But way? I decided to figure out what was going on.
I have always been a creative person and have had many great ideas over my lifetime. My highest periods of creativity occur when I exercise, go to sleep, and write. The more I thought about these specific activities, the more I realized they inspired different kinds and levels of creativity. Here is what I have learned about myself.
I used to think I got my best inspiration during bike rides and hikes. When I exercise, I let my mind drift while I explore nature and work my muscles. I am sure that during this time, my circulation improves, sweat expels things my body does not need, and my mind works at peak effectiveness. Why? Coordinating one’s feet during a hike or moving the handlebars on terrain is mentally challenging. Yet, this activity does not require pure mental power; it uses muscle memory. I equate this in computer terms when a graphics card does most calculations while the main processor acts like a symphony conductor.
I do not always get new ideas during my exercise, but I do think about many topics. Going along the trail is a perfect setting to identify, explore, and solve problems. Now, I save up problems for when I exercise and have found many great solutions. Yet my new article/plot ideas are unfocused (lofty), and only 30% are suitable for being written up.
Right before I go to sleep, I always think about my stories. This includes reviewing the plot, imagining the characters in situations, and devising book marketing solutions. I have concluded that my creative output is poor during this time.
Yet pre-sleep provides the perfect environment for getting comfortable with my plots and characters. This time allows me to develop details, connect ideas, and take pride in my creation. The result of my effort shines when I use my outline to write the story. I occasionally solve problems or develop something new, but it is rare. Also, as I am falling asleep, I often forget to record my ideas.
When I write, my creativity is cold and direct. My core focus is to evaluate the present sentence and, once satisfied, create the next. When I get stuck, I briefly distract myself or change locations to joggle my creativity. While writing or editing, I rarely get big ideas or solve big problems. Instead, I focus on grammar, flow, motive, and logic. Still, it feels good when I fix a flaw or have a creative moment.
To further define this time, I have an example. If a person asked me to sit down and write a story about unicorns, I would be lost. I might be able to develop a unicorn story during a bike ride, but it would not be significant. Yet, I know when I could think up a fantastic story about unicorns.
When I get angry, my creative output is raw and never-ending. I am sure the adrenaline is pumping through my veins, and my fight-or-flight mechanism is at full power. The result is a nuclear cluster bomb of thoughts, ideas, courses of action, and feelings.
When I calm down and evaluate my creations, I find them out of the box, illogical, uncompromising, and wacky. I estimate that 20% of this mess is helpful. Yet, the few gems certainly qualify as creative.
Of course, there is a problem with anger-inspired ideas. Being upset is not desirable, and I certainly do not wish to get angry for the intent of writing. Yet… I value this time, and when I am not angrily thinking about my core issue, I use this time to develop story ideas.
This article vetted many issues. I now know what to expect when I think about problems. I also know creativity is complex and inconsistent. Hey, that’s a creative conclusion.
You’re the best -Bill
July 03, 2024
Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:
Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.
Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.
Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.
Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.
These books are available in softcover on Amazon and in eBook format everywhere.
The drama caused many painful emotions, angry thoughts and serious courses of action. It has caused multiple sleepless nights because my mind would not let the problems go. Anger was chief among my feelings and I was surprised how many great story ideas I developed during my angry thought process. Fortunately, I have learned to have a notepad handy and recorded many ideas, including eight article concepts, an entire chapter for an upcoming book and two short story ideas.
My idea for this article was to share my ideas and evaluate them, but as I looked at the chaos I reordered, it occurred to me that the ideas were not that great. But way? I decided to figure out what was going on.
I have always been a creative person and have had many great ideas over my lifetime. My highest periods of creativity occur when I exercise, go to sleep, and write. The more I thought about these specific activities, the more I realized they inspired different kinds and levels of creativity. Here is what I have learned about myself.
I used to think I got my best inspiration during bike rides and hikes. When I exercise, I let my mind drift while I explore nature and work my muscles. I am sure that during this time, my circulation improves, sweat expels things my body does not need, and my mind works at peak effectiveness. Why? Coordinating one’s feet during a hike or moving the handlebars on terrain is mentally challenging. Yet, this activity does not require pure mental power; it uses muscle memory. I equate this in computer terms when a graphics card does most calculations while the main processor acts like a symphony conductor.
I do not always get new ideas during my exercise, but I do think about many topics. Going along the trail is a perfect setting to identify, explore, and solve problems. Now, I save up problems for when I exercise and have found many great solutions. Yet my new article/plot ideas are unfocused (lofty), and only 30% are suitable for being written up.
Right before I go to sleep, I always think about my stories. This includes reviewing the plot, imagining the characters in situations, and devising book marketing solutions. I have concluded that my creative output is poor during this time.
Yet pre-sleep provides the perfect environment for getting comfortable with my plots and characters. This time allows me to develop details, connect ideas, and take pride in my creation. The result of my effort shines when I use my outline to write the story. I occasionally solve problems or develop something new, but it is rare. Also, as I am falling asleep, I often forget to record my ideas.
When I write, my creativity is cold and direct. My core focus is to evaluate the present sentence and, once satisfied, create the next. When I get stuck, I briefly distract myself or change locations to joggle my creativity. While writing or editing, I rarely get big ideas or solve big problems. Instead, I focus on grammar, flow, motive, and logic. Still, it feels good when I fix a flaw or have a creative moment.
To further define this time, I have an example. If a person asked me to sit down and write a story about unicorns, I would be lost. I might be able to develop a unicorn story during a bike ride, but it would not be significant. Yet, I know when I could think up a fantastic story about unicorns.
When I get angry, my creative output is raw and never-ending. I am sure the adrenaline is pumping through my veins, and my fight-or-flight mechanism is at full power. The result is a nuclear cluster bomb of thoughts, ideas, courses of action, and feelings.
When I calm down and evaluate my creations, I find them out of the box, illogical, uncompromising, and wacky. I estimate that 20% of this mess is helpful. Yet, the few gems certainly qualify as creative.
Of course, there is a problem with anger-inspired ideas. Being upset is not desirable, and I certainly do not wish to get angry for the intent of writing. Yet… I value this time, and when I am not angrily thinking about my core issue, I use this time to develop story ideas.
This article vetted many issues. I now know what to expect when I think about problems. I also know creativity is complex and inconsistent. Hey, that’s a creative conclusion.
You’re the best -Bill
July 03, 2024
Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:
Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.
Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.
Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.
Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.
These books are available in softcover on Amazon and in eBook format everywhere.
