J.C. Paulson's Blog, page 4

Cook your dragon cutlets, not your children.

English is a very scary language. We authors are incredibly brave to take on its wild spellings, confusing commas and crazy rules. None of us is perfect. All of us have brain farts. Complicating matters, some of us speak more than one language or write for different markets with varying rules of usage.

For these reasons, all of us need editors or at least a few sets of fresh eyes on our amazing works. That being said, we can manage most of our gibbles and gabbles by employing mnemonics, tricks and (sorry) our memories. Sometimes, we just have to remember this stuff. English is like that.

The following bits of editing, writing, spelling and grammatical advice are based on feedback from authors both novice and expert. Everyone has little monsters. Maybe I’ve beaten back one or a few of them. I hope so.

If you think this is wierd . . . you're right.

You’ve probably heard this little poem: “I before E, except after C, or when sounded as A, as in neighbour and weigh.”

But what about neither, foreign, leisure, seize, forfeit, height, protein, caffeine and heifer? And, of course, there is also weird, in which the vowel sound is identical to that in receive, for heaven’s sake.

Not to mention efficient, ancient, and conscience.

Sooo . . . unfortunately, ie and ei words are just hard. In the case of the last three (above), words with “cien” in them are indeed spelled with the ie, in complete contravention of the General Global Agreement on English Spelling. If in doubt, it’s dictionary time. Yes, I know. That was not much help.

Then vs than

Then is used when referring to a time. Than is a comparative word.

“He’s much uglier then me.” Nope. “He’s much uglier than I.”

It’s less common to see errors the other way around, but let’s try one. “He than went to the store.” It just doesn’t work, right?

Which leads me to . . .

You and me and You and I

You and me = object. You and I = subject.

If you would use the word “us” in a sentence, it’s you and me. If you would use “we,” it’s you and I.

“He’s better looking than either you or I.” Mentally replace “you and I” with “we,” add the verb, and you’ve got it: “He’s better looking than we are.”

Contrariwise: “The dog barked at Jim and me.” (Not at “me and Jim.” Remember to be courteous.) When in doubt, take out the other dude — in this case, “Jim” — and your sentence becomes, correctly, “The dog barked at me.” You wouldn’t say the dog, which is the subject, barked at I. That would be weird.

Comma ça va?

A comma tells the reader to pause, take a breath and read on. Comma overuse, though, can be very, very, very annoying, and break up the smooth, flowing prose of your wonderful, genius, brilliant work.

But commas are excruciatingly important. I’m sure you’ve seen many memes illustrating their necessity. And let’s be clear: clarity always comes first, even if you’re breaking a rule or two.

For example:

“Let’s eat kids” versus “Let’s eat, kids.”

Similarly:

“Cheryl likes baking her family and her dog” versus “Cheryl likes baking, her family and her dog.” That depends, of course, on whether Cheryl is the modern female version of Sweeney Todd.

1. Got a dialogue tag? USE THE COMMA unless you’ve ended the quote with an exclamation point or question mark, the former of which should be used sparingly. The pronoun (she, he) remains in lower case.

“I’m just breading the dragon cutlets,” she said.

“I can’t eat dragon cutlets!” he said. (And rightly so.)

2. Don’t use a comma after “yet” or “but” at the beginning of a sentence and use them sparingly. (However, however needs a comma). In the middle of a sentence, we’ll need one before these words.

“Yet it continued to rain after the sun came out.”

“The sun came out, yet it continued to rain.”

3. Here’s a thorny one I see all the time. Commas around names should be used when listing folks or things.

“Jan, Jen and Jo declined the dragon cutlets.” (And rightly so.) If you’re an Oxford comma lover, add one after Jen.

“Prime Minister Justin Trudeau declared a moratorium on hunting dragons in his daily press conference today.” There should not be commas after Prime Minister nor Justin Trudeau. Prime Minister is used directly as a title in this sentence, essentially becoming part of the name.

HOWEVER!

“The prime minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau, and his wife, Sophie Grégoire Trudeau, remained in quarantine for two weeks.”

Here we are identifying the people by title first, not as direct modifiers. So yes, commas!

4. Gently use commas around subsidiary phrases.

“Cheryl decided to bake the dragon cutlets, which seemed disgustingly tough, instead of frying them.”

Overused words

Was. That. Had. Just. AUGH!

We must simply write around these overused words. We must find new ways of creating sentences, showing more and telling less — although telling is still crucial in moving a story along. Let’s not go too far.

But instead of “It was a dark and stormy night,” you know, we can write “The lightning flashed as the rain pelted down.” VERBS! USE VERBS! VERBS ARE THE BEST!

As a side note, I’m sure I murdered eighty ‘justs’ in my first manuscript. How? The fundamental “find” tool in Microsoft Word. Some of them stayed, but not many. You know which words you overuse. Find them, kill them, replace them, write around them.

Tautology

Could you repeat that again?

Thanks, I will. Tautology. It’s troublesome. Tautologies — which use words with similar meanings — are redundant and in some cases annoying. “Could you repeat that?” is quite sufficient without the “again.”

However, tautologies can also be used to create a dramatic or humorous effect: consider the great Yogi Berra’s comment, “It’s like déjà vu all over again.” See? That’s funny. “You’re completely devoid of humour” is not. Devoid means “completely empty.” Delete completely.

Speaking of effect . . .

Effect and affect drive many of us bats.

Ninety per cent of the time, effect is a noun. “The dragon cutlets had a nasty effect on my stomach.”

Ninety per cent of the time, affect is a verb. “The dragon cutlets affected my stomach in an unpleasant way.”

There are, as always, exceptions (sigh). When someone goes to jail or dies, “personal effects” must be dealt with. Some people are accused of displaying “affected behaviour.” That’s just the way it is.

Verb tenses

Verb tenses that do not agree or change within sentences, paragraphs or even chapters drive me slightly crazy. Wildly changing your tenses is a great way to confuse the reader. It must occasionally be done, such as when someone is ruminating about a previous event or considering the immediate future. Generally, if you’re writing in the present or past tense, stay there.

An exception, for example: Adam chewed manfully through the sinewy dragon cutlet. (Past tense.) I will have chewed this revolting meat eighty times before swallowing it, he thought. (Future perfect.) But don’t leave Adam in the future. Bring him back to the past immediately.

A few more nasties

Definitely. Not definately.

Separate. Not seperate.

Independent. Not independant.

Lay versus lie. Human beings lie down. They also may lay books upon your lap.

Lie is used when someone or something is flattening itself on a surface. Lay requires an object for the verb to act upon. We lie down but we lay a thing down.

Confusion reigns in part because of the past tense of lie, which is laid. If your boss had to lay you off, you are laid off.

Hyphen versus em dash. Hyphens connect words. Use them, for example, in compound adjectives (in most cases). “Adam finally spat out the thoroughly-chewed cutlet.” Use the long or em dash — dramatically — to create effects or break out parenthetical information (without using parentheses).

Practise versus practice. Practise is a verb. Practice is a noun. However, I often see practice used in all cases, particularly in American English.

“The basketball team practised dribbling all afternoon.”

“The newly-graduated lawyer set up her own practice.”

I hope some of this has been slightly useful. The main takeaway might be to cook your dragon cutlets and not your children.

On following your muse: it might just save your life, and other benefits

I'm being overly dramatic. About the saving your life part. I think.

When I awakened at three one particular morning, as I had for months after a traumatic career ending moment, I was, for a change, not in tears.

I saw a (beautiful) reporter, a (stunningly handsome) cop, a (stupid homophobic) decision by a church and a (dead) bishop. Where did that come from? Would I remember it all at a more reasonable hour of the morning?

Didn't think so. But I did.

It became Adam's Witness, a novel I never thought I'd write. Nor any novel, really.

I'm not much of a believer in intervention, divine or otherwise. But somehow, I do think my brain was trying to save my sanity, or myself from a black mood I could not shake. The mood did not actually improve much for a long time, in the overall; but the creative muse eventually took hold and if nothing else served as a distraction. There's nothing like diving into someone else's life.

Even someone fictional.

And now, I am powerfully inclined to pitch my method of mind-bending to others. If a creative or athletic or other positive new thing is calling you, I advise answering the mental phone. Even if it's hard. Let me tell you, publishing a book online and in print by yourself is not the easiest thing you'll ever try, creatively or technically. (I'm sure that goes for all other pursuits.)

And I haven't entirely sorted out why it changed my mind. Altered my brain. But it absolutely did; I'm quite sure it forged new synaptic pathways, and no kidding.

As to the other benefits, there's always a chance someone else might actually like what you did. Your book. Your painting. Your photograph. The fact that you ran 10K when you could barely walk around the block six months ago.

As for the other benefits: I'm incredibly grateful to the readers of my city and the bookstore McNally Robinson for putting Adam's Witness at the top of the local fiction bestseller list for 2017. How did that happen?

Like I said, you never know what following that muse may bring.

You stand on sacred ground.

One day, while still working with Karen Briere, she sent around this incredible quote from Beatrice Warde, American typographical scholar, born Sept. 1900. It rings in my memory; it stands for the passion we feel, we authors and journalists, for newspapers and books and anything else worth printing, and it can still choke me up.
For those of us who really give a damn about print, about words, about worlds created, about worlds covered in truth.

This is a printing office

Crossroads of civilization
Refuge of all the arts
Against the ravages of time
Armoury of fearless truth

Against whispering rumour
Incessant trumpet of trade

From this place words may fly abroad

Not to perish on waves of sound

Not to vary with the writer's hand

But fixed in time having been verified in proof

Friend you stand on sacred ground.

This is a printing office.

How many words does it take to cheer me up? Millions.

I had a blue, blue week, not so long ago.

I’d prefer not to get into the deeper reasons, but let’s just say I struggle with depression, and the book two thing was not going well. (Things are looking up a bit now.)

I’ve been stupid busy, and therefore tired. I have body parts that hurt. I am unimpressed with getting old.

If I think about it all too much, whammo. Blue. Dark blue.

This time, my husband took a different approach to cheering me up. I was whining about not feeling useful, vital, important — not to myself, not to my loved ones, and not to society. Where the hell is the point if you’re not accomplishing any of that?

Out of the dark blue (he does this sometimes — shifts gears, changes the subject before you can take a breath) he asked, “how many words have you written in your lifetime?”

Well, that shut me up. I had no idea, and after I quit being stunned, there was a secondary query which has come up before: why haven’t you kept every single thing you have ever written, my dear dope? Ken keeps a photo or a file of EVERYTHING. I’d repeat that to emphasize the point, but I already put it in capital letters.

The first thing I thought after the stunned moment was, does it really matter how many words? The important thing is, how good are those words? Have they melted prejudices, raised funds, created empathy, informed, entertained, saved lives, made anyone happy? Changed the world?

While I was mulling that over, Ken was quietly punching numbers into his cellphone. Apparently, into a calculator. He’s sneaky that way. I barely noticed he even had the implement in his hand.

“Near as I can figure it,” he said, “you’re at about 45 million.”

Whaaaaat?

“No way,” I said. “Really? How did you figure that out?”

Well, he multiplied working hours by years worked by words usually written per hour. Or something like that. Then he subtracted some of the administrative time I’ve put in. Then he added the books and the evening and weekend hours I’ve logged. I don’t think he included rewrites.

Let’s stop right here and note that 45 million wouldn’t even touch the output of authors and writers like Isaac Asimov, who is credited with writing and editing 500 books or something. Holy cow. And that’s just the books.

Even so, it kind of blew me away. Again, quality is better than quantity; but it was an amazing moment when my husband shifted my focus to what I actually had done, instead of what I hadn’t. Everyone needs, and some people even deserve, a Ken. (I hope I do.)

Self-aggrandizement aside, here is my point, based on Mr. P’s lesson. When you feel like crap, try to think about what you’ve done, especially what you’ve done right. If you’re a doctor, how many patients have you helped, or how many babies have you delivered? If you’re a teacher, how many students have you prepared, with education and empathy, for life? If you work in an auto body shop, how many cars have you repaired so that they are safe for their drivers again? If you’re a lawyer, how many clients have you helped through a divorce, or some other awful events in their lives? If you’re a paramedic or a police officer or a fire fighter, how many runs have you made in an effort save people’s lives?

Seem like a basic thing? Not at all. Do we reflect on our accomplishments often enough? No. We fly through life, trying to get the work and the laundry and the cooking done, to get to social events and kids’ games and charity lunches, then fall into bed for six or eight hours (if we’re lucky) and do it all again the next day. Pedestrian. Necessary. The round of life.

When do we stop, and think, and ponder our positive effect on the world, or even on ourselves? Seldom, methinks. But we should, especially when the world looks dark blue.

So, being me, I’ve been mulling over how many of those words were any damn good, and how many were stupid or inaccurate or badly thought out, or even worse. Thirty-something years in, it’s a tough thing to evaluate. But I must say I take comfort, at least, from having churned out the 45 million. Maybe a few of them made a difference, even a little one, here and there. I can only hope.

Thank you, dear husband, for that reckoning. Making you mine, being yours, is my greatest accomplishment.

This column also appeared in the Saskatoon Express.

A great pre-launch interview.

One of the cool things about being on Twitter is meeting people. Great people, in fact.

I know, Twitter is often maligned as an ongoing spitting match, a political minefield, a place where you pick up followers who have Nothing In Common with you, to put it politely.

It's not true. Well, it is true, but there's a lot more happening on the bird site.

There is an incredible community of authors, for example, who retweet each other, support each other, connect each other.

I am incredibly grateful to be following/followed by John Prescott (@FatMopZoo, go find him), an American author with his own amazing social media friends. Through him, I connected with UK author Mike Chapman @Rubrekian ("Teacher, father, writer, spy. OK, not a spy"). He also has a blog wherein he interviews authors, poets and such folk.

Including me!!

My interview with Mike launches Sept. 1 here: https://www.mochapman.com/jc-paulson-.... While you're there, check out his other interviews and the other stuff he's up to. Authors! He asks GREAT questions. Very thorough. Very kind.

I also must shout out to ebookmarketingsolutions in New York and brainy Michael Beas.

He has added excitement to my book descriptions, pumped up my SEO and organized a big one-day sale of Adam's Witness (Kindle edition). Holy cow, did that work. Sure, I paid him, but also sure, it worked. It started with a 'free day', which generated more than 3,000 pick ups and since then has sold both books and KU reads every day. I'm nothing short of amazed. Thank you, Michael!

In other news, book two in the Adam and Grace series is titled Broken Through and it launches on Kindle Sept. 27. Cheap to pre-order at .99 US if you can bear it.

It's been a happy week. Thanks, Twitter authors, friends, Michael and especially @Rubrekian. .

Launched.

It has been a crazy several months and I've neglected my blog shamefully.

Between 'real' work, finishing Broken Through, fighting with the actual printing and finally launching, there has been little time to sleep, much less blog.

It's finally on the market, and this week made it to the best seller fiction list at McNally Robinson Saskatoon.

I'm very excited, to say the least. Thanks to everyone for their support! McNally! Britainy Zapshalla! Ken! Sister, brother, Mom! Beta Readers!

Love you all.

Launched. At McNally and Amazon.

It has been a crazy several months and I've neglected my blog shamefully. Between 'real' work, finishing Broken Through, fighting with the actual printing and finally launching, there has been little time to sleep, much less blog.It's finally on the market, and this week made it to the best seller fiction list at McNally Robinson Saskatoon. I'm very excited, to say the least. Thanks to everyone for their support! McNally! Britainy Zapshalla! Ken! Sister, brother, Mom! Beta Readers! Love you all.

An amazing pre-launch blog interview. I am beside myself

One of the cool things about being on Twitter is meeting people. Great people, in fact.I know, Twitter is often maligned as an ongoing spitting match, a political minefield, a place where you pick up followers who have Nothing In Common with you, to put it politely.It's not true. Well, it is true, but there's a lot more happening on the bird site.There is an incredible community of authors, for example, who retweet each other, support each other, connect each other. I am incredibly grateful to be following/followed by John Prescott (@FatMopZoo, go find him), an American author with his own amazing social media friends. Through him, I connected with UK author Mike Chapman @Rubrekian ("Teacher, father, writer, spy. OK, not a spy"). He also has a blog wherein he interviews authors, poets and such folk.Including me!!My interview with Mike launches Sept. 1 here: https://www.mochapman.com/jc-paulson-.... While you're there, check out his other interviews and the other stuff he's up to. Authors! He asks GREAT questions. Very thorough. Very kind. I also must shout out to ebookmarketingsolutions in New York and brainy Michael Beas. He has added excitement to my book descriptions, pumped up my SEO and organized a big one-day sale of Adam's Witness (Kindle edition). Holy cow, did that work. Sure, I paid him, but also sure, it worked. It started with a 'free day', which generated more than 3,000 pick ups and since then has sold both books and KU reads every day. I'm nothing short of amazed. Thank you, Michael!In other news, book two in the Adam and Grace series is titled Broken Through and it launches on Kindle Sept. 27. Cheap to pre-order at .99 US if you can bear it.It's been a happy week. Thanks, Twitter authors, friends, Michael and especially @Rubrekian.

Broken Through. The cover.

After much teeth gnashing and viewing endless photos, here is the cover of Broken Through, beautifully and brilliantly designed by Caroline Dinter. Stay tuned for the launch: Sept. 1 on Kindle, more than likely, and print edition sometime in the month. If you're up for an early review copy, I'd be ever so please to provide. Of course!!!Hugs beta readers, editors, advisors and all supporters. Much appreciate it all. More than it's possible to say.

How many words does it take to cheer me up? Millions

How many words have been written by all these authors? Can't even imagine.I had a blue, blue week, not so long ago.I’d prefer not to get into the deeper reasons, but let’s just say I struggle with depression, and the book two thing was not going well. (Things are looking up a bit now.)I’ve been stupid busy, and therefore tired. I have body parts that hurt. I am unimpressed with getting old.If I think about it all too much, whammo. Blue. Dark blue.This time, my husband took a different approach to cheering me up. I was whining about not feeling useful, vital, important — not to myself, not to my loved ones, and not to society. Where the hell is the point if you’re not accomplishing any of that?Out of the dark blue (he does this sometimes — shifts gears, changes the subject before you can take a breath) he asked, “how many words have you written in your lifetime?”Well, that shut me up. I had no idea, and after I quit being stunned, there was a secondary query which has come up before: why haven’t you kept every single thing you have ever written, my dear dope? Ken keeps a photo or a file of EVERYTHING. I’d repeat that to emphasize the point, but I already put it in capital letters.The first thing I thought after the stunned moment was, does it really matter how many words? The important thing is, how good are those words? Have they melted prejudices, raised funds, created empathy, informed, entertained, saved lives, made anyone happy? Changed the world?While I was mulling that over, Ken was quietly punching numbers into his cellphone. Apparently, into a calculator. He’s sneaky that way. I barely noticed he even had the implement in his hand.“Near as I can figure it,” he said, “you’re at about 45 million.”Whaaaaat?“No way,” I said. “Really? How did you figure that out?”Well, he multiplied working hours by years worked by words usually written per hour. Or something like that. Then he subtracted some of the administrative time I’ve put in. Then he added the books and the evening and weekend hours I’ve logged. I don’t think he included rewrites.Let’s stop right here and note that 45 million wouldn’t even touch the output of authors and writers like Isaac Asimov, who is credited with writing and editing 500 books or something. Holy cow. And that’s just the books.Even so, it kind of blew me away. Again, quality is better than quantity; but it was an amazing moment when my husband shifted my focus to what I actually had done, instead of what I hadn’t. Everyone needs, and some people even deserve, a Ken. (I hope I do.)Self-aggrandizement aside, here is my point, based on Mr. P’s lesson. When you feel like crap, try to think about what you’ve done, especially what you’ve done right. If you’re a doctor, how many patients have you helped, or how many babies have you delivered? If you’re a teacher, how many students have you prepared, with education and empathy, for life? If you work in an auto body shop, how many cars have you repaired so that they are safe for their drivers again? If you’re a lawyer, how many clients have you helped through a divorce, or some other awful events in their lives? If you’re a paramedic or a police officer or a fire fighter, how many runs have you made in an effort save people’s lives?Seem like a basic thing? Not at all. Do we reflect on our accomplishments often enough? No. We fly through life, trying to get the work and the laundry and the cooking done, to get to social events and kids’ games and charity lunches, then fall into bed for six or eight hours (if we’re lucky) and do it all again the next day. Pedestrian. Necessary. The round of life.When do we stop, and think, and ponder our positive effect on the world, or even on ourselves? Seldom, methinks. But we should, especially when the world looks dark blue.So, being me, I’ve been mulling over how many of those words were any damn good, and how many were stupid or inaccurate or badly thought out, or even worse. Thirty-something years in, it’s a tough thing to evaluate. But I must say I take comfort, at least, from having churned out the 45 million. Maybe a few of them made a difference, even a little one, here and there. I can only hope.Thank you, dear husband, for that reckoning. Making you mine, being yours, is my greatest accomplishment.This column also appeared in the Saskatoon Express.