Joline Godfrey's Blog, page 3

Fashion and Finance 2013

The Buttercup snared me. I know better. The information I pick up each year at our Fashion & Finance weekend has given me an insider’s eye on just how the fashion industry targets our most vulnerable spots. So what was I thinking when I spent $190 on a bright yellow hairdryer called the Buttercup?

The Buttercup is the brilliantly branded tool used in the quickly proliferating ”drybar,” a concept created around the idea of paying $35 for a blowout only—no cuts, no color. Drybar is the fancy equivalent of a McDonald’s for hair. Alli Webb is the founder, and she has been so successful with this concept—and now with her $190 Buttercup hairdryer—she must be well on her way to becoming as ubiquitous as MacDonald’s. This is one of the reasons why she is on my list of people to ensnare in this year’s Fashion & Finance.

If you have ever been or have ever wanted to attend a Fashion & Finance weekend, this may be the right year for you. As always, we combine visits to impossible destinations with case studies that shed a light on business and finance, answering questions in relatable and understandable language, not jargon or “moneyspeak.”

If you would like more information about Fashion & Finance (and you want to know if the Buttercup is worth $190), you can register here or call us at 805-965-0475.

Drybar Founder, Alli Webb

If You’re a Financial Creative…

In the fall of 2011, I wrote a blog describing the phenomenon of really smart people who close down in the face of financial reports, news, and conversations. I suggested at that time that people who self-identify as “creative” literally DO shut down when confronted by what seems, on the surface, to be a linear, valueless, and rigid world of finance. Perhaps, I said, it’s time to create a new way of talking about money with creatives.

That blog triggered quite a response from readers and prompted us to create a new program called Learning Labs for Financial Creatives. The program begins April 21-23 and if you’re a financial creative, or know one, click here for more information and give us a call, 805-965-0475.

You won’t sit at a conference table and you will not endure the torture of mind-numbing PowerPoint presentations. You will connect with a small group of peers, who are intent on developing a voice and a set of skills that will facilitate impact at family meetings, in business discussions, and with the so-called “financial experts” in your life.

The first program is being held at the Ojai Valley Inn and SPA. I hope you, or someone you love, will join us.

Camp Start-Up Changes Lives

This week a former counselor and camper got in touch telling us how much they enjoyed Camp Start-Up and how excited they were to be a part of it again this year. We were so appreciative of their kind words that we thought we would share them with you.

When asked where I work, my answer usually leaves people speechless and eager to hear more. Working at Camp Start-Up has got to be one of the greatest jobs out there. Camp Start-Up blends exciting activities and strong friendship bonds that many sleepaway camps offer, with an entirely unique entrepreneurial twist. When the campers weren’t on field trips visiting fascinating business like Pixar and Six Flags, they were learning essential business and investment skills that would aid them in the creation of their very own business plan and stock portfolio that each camper would present at the end of camp. The ideas the campers have created in the past are nothing short of sheer brilliance. Take the shopping cart GPS, for example, that allows you to upload your grocery list into a shopping cart that leads you around the grocery store as efficiently as possible picking out every opportunity for savings in it’s path. And of course there was the solar panel laptop and phone cover that continuously charges your mobile devices as they are used. Needless to say, the campers really explore their creative capacity.

The satisfaction I get from seeing the campers blossoming into young entrepreneurs and creating lifelong friendships in just two weeks is enough to keep me coming back as a counselor year after year. Camp Start-Up is no longer limited to the east coast because this year we are thrilled to announce that Camp Start Up will be held in California’s Silicon Valley. I don’t want to ruin the surprise but lets just say Silicon Valley has some epic field trips in store for Camp Start Up!

-Elan Kapadia (Counselor from 2006-2012)

Camp-Start-Up was a life changing experience for me. Not only did I gain valuable business guidance, but I also changed as a person. Now I have a confident outlook toward the future—I have a direction and a plan. The inspirational counselors and entrepreneur volunteers made all of these feelings possible. It is amazing how much knowledge I gained in such little time.

- Elly Beyer (2012 CSU Alum)

While these experiences are remarkable, we don’t believe they are unique. Camp Start-Up really is an amazing event for all who attend. If you would like more information, visit the camp section of the website, find us on Facebook, email us, or call us at 805.965.0475.

What I Remembered In Dubai

The flight home took 16 hours, nonstop. Once home, I slept for 14–not a drowsy wake and sleep, wake a sleep, but deep, prolonged slumber, a dream state that gave me access to the sights, sounds, people, and experiences that overwhelm the senses when you travel to a part of the globe where camels ride in pick-ups, buildings compete to touch the stars, and men in white are both national identity and fashion forward. For days my dreams were a tumble of indecipherable symbols and images.

Dubai is life though a kaleidoscope: space age towers and ancient water taxis; girls in revealing dress and women seen through eye slits; boys in Armani and men in elegant robes and headdress; an avant garde art scene and a scene of material consumption so staggering it renders an organic girl speechless. But my sensual, visual memories are not the most important thing I brought home–the treasure was the time spent with families we were privileged to meet. And the best gift came in the form of a simple question.

The CEO of a multi-family office in Bahrain had invited me to speak at a conference for families from UAE countries. Abdulmohsin Al Omran is a visionary. While wealth in Dubai is often measured by the height of buildings and the gold and oil in your portfolio, Abdulmosin brought us to Dubai to discuss human capital. “Families in the UAE,” he told me the day before I was to present…

“…are often living beyond their means–even though their means are generous.

…worry about declining wealth as they watch the next generation consume without thought of creating wealth.

…believe it’s too late to make a difference with their family.”

“Ah, issues we face with families everywhere,” I thought, as he described his hopes for the next day. And the next day confirmed his observations.

The men and women of the audience, parents with children as young as 2 and as old as 42; people from Bahrain, Saudi, and Kuwait seemed open and eager to talk. When I asked if the phrase “shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves” in three generations resonated in any way, one woman laughed and said, “Yes, here we speak of ‘fire to ashes’: the grandfather starts the fire, the next generation keeps it burning for a while, and the third let’s it cool to ashes.”

Only a small fraction (about 2%) of family businesses worldwide make it beyond the third generation with their assets intact. Abdulmohsin’s vision is to address those issues–to help families develop their human capital with the same fervor they attend to developing their financial capital–and to help a larger percentage of families keep the fire burning–or at least give the next generation tools to kindle a new fire.

As we jumped into a practice version of IMI’s Human Capital Audit, one woman said, “I had no idea this is a way to look at family!” Each of the participants seemed excited by a tool that would help them rethink the nature of wealth in family. It was, I thought, a great session and things were going well. Then one man asked, in as respectful a way as possible, “What do you know about families from this part of the world?”

His question was clean and direct. He caused me to pause, but in the moment, processing stimuli coming at me at warp speed, I gave an only adequate response.

But now, dreams and days later I know what I should have said: “Nothing. I know nothing about your families. Just as I know nothing about any family I first encounter.”

Twenty plus years, hundreds of families and many countries into my work one thing is clear: every family has its own unique makeup. Like a fingerprint, each family comes together in a way that is not replicated again. Entering a family anywhere on the planet, regardless of culture, religion, politics, age or generation requires mindful attention, an open attentiveness that allows us to SEE families as they are–without prejudice or assumption. When we can achieve that clarity of vision, we have the best shot at being genuinely useful. We have to enter each family humbled by the knowledge that we know nothing of their individual values, their experiences, their human capital. We know nothing about what matters in their heart or what their individual and collective worries are. That’s the information each family must teach.

And yet, there are universals that show up in family after family; country after country. Most families, if they are at all functional and have the privilege of basic well-being, financial security, and safety, at some point focus on the future of their children and of their families:

how do we help them care more about purpose than stuff?
how do we sustain and create the capital and assets that give our children and their children a financial safety net, options, independence?
how do we make a contribution that has meaning?

I’ll have good stories from Dubai to share over dinner for a long time. But the man who asked, “what do you know about us?” made the trip really count. As long as I remember that we know NOTHING about any family on first encounter, I have a shot at hearing and seeing the most important aspects of every family, regardless of where they live or who they are. Before the week is out I’m going to write and tell him what his question helped me remember. That’s a gift you can’t put in a shopping bag.

Letters as Change Agents

I’m always saying that financial education is “not just about the money; it’s about building great families.” By this I mean that financial skills are best developed in the context of a set of clear values; meaningful goals; and a commitment to using those skills for the realization of the dreams and hopes of the family, the individuals in the family, and the larger world within which the family lives.

So when I came across Dorie McCollough Lawson’s new book, Posterity: Letters of Great Americans to their Children, I knew it would be a great tool to help families make that connection. I’m often moved by stories I hear from people who relate the impact of a letter received from a parent or grandparent at some point in their lives. That impact is SO great that I now include the exercise of writing to one’s grandchildren or children in family meeting plans.

Recently I received a rare, handwritten letter from someone I care about, reminding me of the power of analog. The writing took time, intention, and thought. It was more than the racing communication of an email and it propelled me to a more thoughtful consideration of how to respond.

Letters have often inspired great turns in the affairs of humans. Those selected by Lawson, the daughter of Pulitzer Prize-winning historian David McCullough, are from a diverse collection of Americans: Ansel Adams and John Adams; Alexander Graham Bell and Woody Guthrie; Eleanor Roosevelt and Harriet Beecher Stowe, for example. They are each unique in content and style. And I hope a perusal of some of the letters will inspire you to pick up an old-fashioned pen to write your own.

Kids, Privilege, and Responsibility

IMI’s Great Families curriculum includes many tools to help the next generation learn how to balance privilege and responsibility. This iPhone contract, offered up on the Huffington Post, is another great tool I’m happy to share here.

 

And once you read it, if you think, “DARN! I wish I’d done that,” don’t worry. It’s never too late to make the connection between privilege and responsibility.  If your tween or teen already has a phone, and you haven’t established a working agreement about how it can be used, just reboot. Here’s how:

 

You: How are you enjoying your new phone?
Them: It’s GREAT Mom, thanks!
You: So glad you’re enjoying it–were we happy to loan it to you.
Them: Loan? You said it was mine!
You: Oh honey, of course it’s yours on loan, but the phone is a serious responsibility, one we felt you were mature enough to handle well. In fact, it’s such an important responsibility that it comes with its own contract. Now that you’ve had some time to practice with the phone and think about how you want to use it, I’d like to take time to review the contract with you.
Them: Contract! What do you mean?
You: Well, when we signed up for the phone service we received a contract that makes clear what our rights and responsibilities are. It’s just a normal part of growing up–learning how to handle the responsibility of the new phone.  You may have some suggestions about the contract, so let’s go over the terms now.
Them: Grumble, grumble…

 

You may encounter resistance–think how you feel when YOU have to sign a contract. But don’t let teenage grumbling bully you into missing a prime opportunity to restate a family value: the greater the privilege, the greater the responsibility. And remember, this is practice for many aspects of their lives: first car responsibilities; independent travel; trust distributions, etc. Let them know that each rite of passage is exciting, important, and comes with new responsibilities.

 

Life: it’s a work in progress!

Starting the Start-Up

Plans for Camp Start-Up Silicon Valley are heating up, and over the next few weeks we’ll be sharing previews of people and places that are in the line-up. In the meantime, here’s what a Camp Start-Up alum has to say about the experience.

Kids, Scissors, and Guns

At an early stage of my career as a clinical therapist, I spent two years working with some of the country’s most violent children. These were children ages 10 through 14 who had been sent to a residential program because they could not be managed at home. One of the physically smallest boys in the program was one of the most dangerous. Most of the time he used his feet, teeth, and fists as weapons, but would use anything he could get his hands on to express his rage. His internal pain and confusion seemed to fuel a strength and intensity that I still remember vividly, decades later.

The children in this program did not choose to be so disturbed. And though they each had a diagnosis and we could often “explain” the wounds and causes of their psychological afflictions, why was an illusive question. Why this child in the family and not that one? Why this behavioral manifestation and not another? The program engaged in research to help illuminate why.

Of course, protecting the children from themselves and others was our first duty. Keeping scissors, sharp objects, and other potential weapons away from them was part of the treatment plan. Vigilance and protection was the staff’s responsibility. Trying to answer why these kids did what they did could not distract us from being attentive to their safety and ours.

I am reminded of this as commentators, legislators, and friends all ask why Adam Lanza murdered twenty children and eight adults in Sandy Hook. For me “why he did it” is a secondary question—one we may or may not answer over time. The urgent question is why are we not keeping weapons fit for war and law enforcement out of the hands of children who have not been identified as dangerous. (Though chronologically 20, Lanza’s actions were developmentally closer to the childish impulses of a 12 year old.)

I was lucky—the kids I worked with were plain to see and had been placed in treatment. But most bullies are undiagnosed; children who are depressed and angry may be viewed as “different” but are invisible until they demand our attention in the most terrifying ways. We have made access to dangerous weapons so easy that we practically invite them to play out their horrifying fantasies and their most dangerous impulses in the public arena. We fail children by not protecting them from themselves.

I am not an anti-gun fanatic. I grew up in a family of hunters. But my father didn’t bag a buck with an assault rifle. None of the hunters in the family felt a yen for an automatic. And the guns that were in the house were not accesible to my brothers and me. I do not think the solution to mass murder lies just in regulation of guns and ammunitions. But it’s at least part of the solution to a complex problem.

As  one member of my staff  (also a dad) observed, “You don’t hear a lot of reports about kids lobbing grenades into schools.” Grenades are harder (though not impossible) to get your hands on. “Why,” he wanted to know, “is it so easy to get access to endless rounds of ammunition and guns that were built for war?”

Regulating ammunition and passing laws against the proliferation of assault weapons is the equivalent of keeping knives and scissors from dangerous kids in treatment centers. As caring adults who profess concern for the well being of the next generation, our obligation is to limit access to weapons.  I don’t need a gun to protect myself nearly as much as I need ways to protect children. I hope this is a moment when we will transcend the disease of polarization plaguing the country to come together and make some common-sense changes to our gun culture. (For clear thinking on the connection between freedom, gun control and culture, I recommend Firmin Debrabander’s piece in the NYT, “The Freedom of an Armed Society“).

And while we’re putting weapons out of the reach of children, we need to make access to help easier for troubled children. We’ve cut art programs and guidance counselor positions. Testing trumps the teaching of emotional intelligence. And as we reduce after-school programs and resources for kids, drops-out and social bullies channel their energy and their visions in all manner of socially destructive ways. By not investing in the most important asset this country has, our next generation, we put ourselves, our kids, and our future at risk.

There are a number of pending bills that could help us protect kids from themselves and from harming others. If you want to make a difference in the face of the tragedy at Sandy Hook, check out the two below. There are many more. Search the internet for “firearms legislation” to see if there is something you can get behind.  Check to see what your legislators are supporting. And while you’re at it, think about what you can do—with your time, talent, and your philanthropic dollars to identify and serve the Adam Lanzas who live in every community. It’s a start.

 

The Assault Weapons Ban and Law Enforcement Protection Act: Congresswoman Carolyn McCarthy has introduced legislation that (1) reinstates the law as it existed prior to September 2004 and (2) would make the assault weapon and high-capacity magazine ban permanent, and also significantly strengthens current law. Her bill would expand the definition of “assault weapon” to include post-ban “copy cat” weapons, which closes a loophole allowing kits to be sold to modify legal weapons into assault weapons, and enhances the tracing of assault weapons, among other things.

Legislation permitting access to certain information in the Firearms Trace System database. This legislation would repeal the “Tiahrt amendment” that has restricted the ability of local governments to learn the source of firearms that have been used in their communities.

Camp Start-Up Scholarships Now Available!

This posts for all the Camp Start-Up alumni out there and, after over 15 years, there’s quite a few of you.

When you think back on your Camp Start-Up experience, do you remember the entertaining activities you completed, such as the Brownie Business Plan or creating a marketing strategy for men’s panty hose? What about the great friends you met, the valuable knowledge you gained, and the pride you felt when you presented at the end of camp?

Do you know someone who might benefit from the experience like you did? If so, we’d love for you to tell that person about Camp Start-Up! In addition to all of the great content, people, and experiences we have lined up for this year, we are also offering scholarships to cover different costs associated with the camp.

All you need to do is email me (mlittle AT independentmeans.com). You can share our website or our Facebook page. You could also print or email this brochure, which includes info about the basics, including field trips, the mentors we’ll be meeting, and what we’ll be doing daily. If you or someone you know is interested in applying for a Camp Start-Up scholarship, please contact me immediately. Funds are limited, so the opportunity won’t last long!

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