Anahita Karthik's Blog

HOW I EDITED MY SECOND SMOOCHPIT MENTEE'S QUERY THAT LANDED THEM AN AGENT—Anahita Karthik

Hello! After two years, and a second successful SmoochPit mentorship, I'm back with another one of these posts, but this time, featuring...

THE ULTIMATE QUERY LETTER TEMPLATE TO GET YOU INSTANT FULL/PARTIAL REQUESTS—Anahita Karthik

Hello!

It's been ages since I wrote a blog post but I'm thrilled to finally share this one! I know some of you all have been waiting for it. And very patiently, might I add <3

This query letter template was my most successful one, and got me instant full/partial requests. And when I say instant, I mean as quickly as 7 minutes after I clicked send! For those of you who don't know my journey, I queried 5 books before getting an agent, so I've written tons of query letter drafts. I landed upon this one after a lot of trial and error.

Obviously, I'm aware that I landed my agent back in 2022, and it's been two years since, but I've been up-to-date with the industry. I regularly mentor querying writers and conduct workshops, and this template has worked for a lot of writers I've helped. I'm also aware that there are other writers who might have different templates that were successful as well, but this one worked best for me, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed it works for you too :)

Here are a few links you might find helpful to go through before you dive into this particular post:

Query letter breakdown + tips (this one got me my agent and 30+ requests): ,,https://www.anahitakarthik.com/post/the-query-letter-that-got-me-my-agent-and-31-full-partial-requests  Querying journey + stats: ,,https://www.anahitakarthik.com/post/how-i-got-my-agent-after-5-books-and-300-rejections-anahita-karthik  SmoochPit mentee's successful query letter (she has an agent + book deal with Macmillan!): ,,https://www.anahitakarthik.com/post/how-i-edited-my-smoochpit-mentee-s-query-that-landed-her-an-agent-anahita-karthik

Now that that's out of the way, let's dive right in:

FORMATTING SPECIFICATIONS Subject Line: Subject should contain age, genre, title of book, and author name, until an agent specifies otherwise. If it is a solicited query, say through a pitch event or conference, include the pitch/conference hashtag/name in the subject line, and then the pitch itself at the top of the query letter, before the salutation. Query Length: While an ideal query letter length would be between 250-350 words, many go longer. Make sure it isn’t more than 1 MS Word page after formatting it correctly, and it should be good to go. Font & Spacing: Readable font (like Times New Roman, Garamond, or Georgia), size 12, Black text colour, Single-line spacing, space between paragraphs, no indents. Structure: Should follow a tripartite structure, with metadata, pitch, and bio. Other elements are the subject line, salutation, sign off, and content warnings. Metadata and bio should be 1 paragraph long each, while pitch should be 3 paragraphs. Metadata: Metadata (1 paragraph only) comes right after the salutation or after the pitch (before the bio) and consists of details that help the agent figure out the exact market for your book: title, age, genre, word count, comparative titles/authors, and personalisation. Personalisation: You don't have to personalise every query unless the personalisation is specific. Don't just say something like "Since you are on the lookout for YA Fantasy...". If you can't find something more specific to your book like, "Since you were on the lookout for BIPOC retellings of popular fairytales...", just say, "I'm seeking representation for...". THE ULTIMATE QUERY LETTER TEMPLATE

SUBJECT: [Specification] [Age] [Genre] - Title of Book - Author Name

[Pitch if any]

Dear [Agent-Name],

Since you [expressed an interest in.../are actively seeking.../on the lookout for...], I was hoping you might like [Title], a/an [Age] [Genre] complete at [Word Count] words. [Insert Comparative Titles and Authors]

[Pitch paragraph 1 - introduction to characters and setting, build-up, and inciting incident]

[Pitch paragraph 2 - result of inciting incident and potential solution]

[Pitch paragraph 3 - closing of stakes. This has to be the most important part of your query letter, like “now the MC must choose between X and X …/now the MC must do X or risk X…”. Here, X and X are two equally difficult choices. The stakes help wrap the query up and tie it with a neat bow, and they must be super personal to the MC]

[Short bio] Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

[Author Name] [insert pronouns if comfortable]

QUERY LETTER WRITTEN USING THIS TEMPLATE

NOTE: This is not the query letter that got me my agent, but one I wrote for Better Catch Up, Krishna Kumar, my book coming out with HarperTeen. I have a separate blog post with the original query letter that got me my agent, and I've shared the link at the beginning of this post. I wrote the one below just for the blog post so I could demonstrate how to use this template. I also did not pitch this book during any pitching events, so #SamplePitch is a fake event I've created as an example. I hope that clarifies any doubts you might have.

SUBJECT: #SamplePitch query - YA rom-com - BETTER CATCH UP, KRISHNA KUMAR - Anahita Karthik

PITCH: bi4bi JAB WE MET x TSITP When Krishna's crush sends her a flirty text promising her a kiss, she sets off on a road trip to find him ft. her mean cousin Priti & Priti's brooding bff Rudra. Krishna's determined not to mess up—until she starts falling for Rudra instead.

Dear Becca,

Since you were on the lookout for YA romances similar to This Time It’s Real, I was hoping you might like Better Catch Up, Krishna Kumar, my bi4bi YA rom-com complete at 85,000 words and perfect for fans of Jenny Han, Axie Oh, and Ann Liang. The novel draws inspiration from the desi road trip romance plot line of Jab We Met, captures the summer and first love feels of The Summer I Turned Pretty, and will appeal to readers who enjoyed XOXO by Axie Oh. During #SamplePitch, Carolina Ortiz at HarperTeen liked my pitch for the novel.

Eighteen-year-old Krishna Kumar has just had the best summer of her life. She’s ticked off every point on her “summer before med school” checklist – well, almost every point, because she didn’t quite have the elusive summer fling she’s been dreaming of with the cute boy next door, Amrit Acharya. Sure, they’ve been flirting on and off, but there’s still an asterisk for no kissing on her list. So, when Krishna’s flight back to the US gets cancelled and Amrit sends her the text – promising a raincheck on the goodbye kiss he “owes” her, winky face emoji and all – she sees a chance to finally have her moment.

Unfortunately, Amrit isn’t in Mumbai anymore; he’s at his second-cousin’s wedding in Goa – having left her farewell party early to make the trip – which is a day’s travel away. Which means Krishna needs to convince her best-cousin-turned-enemy, Priti, the only one with access to a car, to join her on a road trip so that she can crash a wedding, surprise Amrit, slay her first kiss, and return in time to make the next flight home. Problem is, said car belongs to Priti’s brooding best friend Rudra Desai, who has been a stranger to Krishna all her life, a background character in Krishna’s sunshine montage.

Now, Krishna has to spend twenty-four hours cooped up in the car, on the road, with Snow Queen and her equally cold best friend, without sending her DDLJ-esque plans spitballing down the drain. That includes avoiding confrontational fights with Priti about why Krishna’s immigration split them apart, owning the pieces of her culture she lost when she moved, and most importantly…avoiding falling for Rudra Desai.

With Bollywood references aplenty, a slow burn romance, and chaotic chapter titles, Better Catch Up, Krishna Kumar is my love letter to India. I’ve always loved to travel (given my father’s transferable job), particularly by road, and made the same whirlwind trip in 2022 with my college friends, which inspired Krishna’s story. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely,

Anahita Karthik [she/her]

Just a couple more things: the personalisation is fake as well, haha, because Becca's MSWL page doesn't specify that she's looking for rom-coms like This Time It's Real. I added it in purely as an example. And if you're wondering, Carolina Ortiz is my editor for this book at HarperTeen. If you're interested in reading my book, you can add it to Goodreads!

Let me know if you have any questions/doubts/clarifications in the comments below and I'll be happy to get back to you :)

Happy writing and good luck querying!

THE SOP THAT GOT ME INTO THE UNIVERSITY OF CAMBRIDGE FOR MST IN CREATIVE WRITING—Anahita Karthik

I've already posted a video of me reading out my personal statement/statement of purpose on Instagram, but there were a few people who wanted me to paste a copy of the statement in written form onto a blog post of mine as that would make it a lot more accessible and easier to refer to, so here goes! I'm also linking the video below, so if you're seeing this for the first time and prefer the original video form with captions, you can navigate here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cq6FanFOyn5/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MmJiY2I4NDBkZg==

A few quick things to keep in mind before diving into my post (I mention these in my video as well, at the very start):

I applied to five universities in total: Cambridge, Oxford, Columbia, Johns Hopkins, and NYU, and got rejected by all other universities except Cambridge, so technically, the success rate for this iteration is 1/5. Take that however you will, especially if you're tailoring your SOP to fit a particular uni's need, and remember, that while I did get into an incredible university, it was just one of five. This is not an advice or how-to post, since every statement of purpose varies depending on the college you're applying to, the course you're applying for, whether you're applying as an aspiring undergraduate or a postgraduate, and so on. This is an example post, and I hope that creative writers who are aspiring to apply to Ivy Leagues or Oxbridge will find this helpful. The course requirements stated that I needed to have a Bachelors degree in either Creative Writing, English Literature, or English Language but I just completed my undergraduate course in Bachelor of Technology (Computer Science), and my mentor made it very clear to me that I needed to have a lot of feathers in my cap with regards to my creative writing endeavours so I could make up for not having a suitable undergraduate degree. I spent my four years as an undergraduate working towards the same, and I'm only grateful it panned out in the end. While for some universities, the Personal Statement or the Statement of Purpose mean the same thing, for others, either term holds a very different meaning, so please do make sure to check each university's individual guideline. For your reference, this is the course I applied for: https://www.ice.cam.ac.uk/course/mst-creative-writing

Anyhoo, here's the personal statement that got me into the University of Cambridge

PERSONAL STATEMENT

Catchy opening line: What most people don’t tell you is that ambition and perseverance aren’t nearly enough when it comes to seeing your dreams through—it takes a pinch of stubbornness as well, just enough to push you past that finish line.

Introduction: It was that very stubbornness that brought my five-year-long struggle in the querying and submission trenches to a hearty close. In the month of February this year, after self-publishing two fiction books and querying three, I received two offers of representation from US-based literary agents. By then, I’d collected enough rejections to cater for my breakfasts for a year, and had buried my younger self’s dreams of seeing her books in bookstores one day. But my refusal to give up pushed me through those tedious months of drafting my fifth project, tailoring it to perfection, devouring successful query letter examples by authors like Marissa Meyer, Chloe Gong, and Roshani Chokshi, and sending my queries spiralling into agents’ inboxes. My letters garnered more than thirty requests to see the full manuscript, eventually leading to those offers.

Professional experience: Now, nine months after signing with my agent, Rebecca Podos from Rees Literary Agency, I am working on a short story for Page Street Publishing's upcoming anthology, My Big, Fat, Desi Wedding, which consists of linked stories celebrating the diversity of desi weddings. I write across all age categories and genres in fiction, and simply couldn’t miss the chance to add a paranormal twist to my story when my editor said it could be genre-bending—which is how the narrative ended up interspersing Tamil weddings with vampire myth. I have also been offered a contract by HarperCollins for an IP project I auditioned for in September, Better Catch Up, Krishna Kumar: a Young Adult romantic comedy set in Mumbai, in the vein of works by Jenny Han and Sandhya Menon.

For universities requiring a longer SOP, I also pasted in this paragraph, but it was excluded from my SOP for University of Cambridge: I recently published a short story, All I Have Left, through Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing service, so I could have a sample of my work out before the release of the anthology and IP novel. So far, All I Have Left has occupied the #1 New Release spot on Amazon in multiple categories (Teen & Young Adult Coming Of Age Fiction, Teen & Young Adult Short Reads, LGBTQ+ Short Reads). It has an average rating of 4.70 on Goodreads, 4.9 on Amazon, and 4.25 on Storygraph, accompanied by starred reviews from readers who connected to its depiction of complicated sibling relationships, found family, and the experiences of queer diaspora students.

Volunteer work: Having secured representation after years of effort, especially in a publishing industry that has only now begun prioritising marginalised voices, I wish to make the process less painful for other writers. I regularly conduct query critique giveaways on Twitter, and was recently a mentor for SmoochPit, a volunteer-run mentorship for romance writers of colour. I worked on extensive developmental, line, and copy edits with my mentee from the month of August to November, while simultaneously also tightening her submission package, after which she successfully received two offers of representation.

Extracurriculars: Additionally, I’m also a freelance graphic design artist, and take commissions from authors to make promotional materials such as Twitter headers, profile pictures, and mock covers. It helps me make a decent side income, and is a way for me to take a fun break when either writing or my engineering curriculum gets too overwhelming.

Titles earned/responsibilities: I have always placed confidence in the fact that one of the vital ways to gain respect and initiate positive changes, is by taking up responsibilities in organisations we are affiliated with, and took my Head Girl and Vice Head Girl duties back in school very seriously. Nominations there were linked to our academic performance, participation in extracurricular activities, keenness to lead others, and any assets that promoted our institution positively.

Academic background: People often assume—given the amount of time I’ve spent working towards being published—that I’m pursuing the arts, but I’ve grown up in a country where any stream that isn’t medicine or engineering isn’t as favoured. I have a supportive family, but my teachers and peers would tell me there was “no scope in the arts” and that I should “take up a good, well-paying job, and write as a hobby”. Naturally, I gravitated towards a subject I had a flair for and always scored well in: Computer Science. Thus began the process of applying to engineering and technology schools, and I was confident I’d be able to find time to write when I joined Symbiosis International University to pursue a Bachelor of Technology in Computer Science Engineering.

Context for the course switch: For the first three years of my degree, I studied during the day and wrote at night, managing to be among the top twenty in a class of 240, as polite rejections and passes flooded my inbox. But when I signed with my agent, a flame of hope began to burn brighter within me. Being a STEM student has been rewarding, but my peers’ goals have always differed from mine. Where they dream of research and innovation in technology, I dream of signing books with my name embossed on the covers.

Reasons for pursuing this course in this university: I’m applying to your masters course in Creative Writing because I wish to be among a global community of writers who love writing as much as I do…who are seeking critique, advancement, and opportunities at the level that University of Cambridge provides to its students. Learning never truly stops for anyone no matter where they are in their journey, and with the UK being one of the two major epicentres of traditional publishing, I would only be grateful to build upon my skills there by specialising in fiction, and finally dedicating all of my time to writing.

Closing paragraph: Thank you for considering my application, and I hope you deem me worthy of the chance to pursue my masters in your esteemed university.

RESOURCES SOP format: https://www.upgradabroad.com/articles/statement-of-purpose-format/ SOP Examples: https://www.creativewritingnews.com/statement-of-purpose-examples-2/#:~:text=What%20is%20a%20Statement%20of,will%20do%20in%20the%20future SOP vs Personal Statement: https://blog.cambridgecoaching.com/statement-of-purpose-versus-personal-statement-knowing-the-difference

HOW I EDITED MY #SMOOCHPIT MENTEE'S QUERY THAT LANDED HER AN AGENT—Anahita Karthik

Writing query letters is no easy feat. It's an art, and something you master only with practice. You'd probably say, "But I'm a good writer. A query letter shouldn't be that hard to write, right?"

Wrong.

If you're fairly new to this querying thing and are still in the "I need to figure out how to write this godforsaken query letter", navigate to this ,post of mine instead. But if you're well versed with the formula of query letter writing, have worked on multiple queries and drafts of those queries before, then you're in the right place.

Reading hundreds of blog posts helps you figure out the formula to writing a good query. Eventually. And given the accessibility, everyone's going to have the formula right. Gone are the days when agents got a lot of queries that they could reject based on format alone. Gone are the days when you could land brownie points with an agent for just getting the tripartite structure right. Querying writers are at the top of their game, and you've got to make your query not just good, but stand-out among others.

The truth about mentorships these days is that mentors aren't looking for writers they can spoon feed about the entire process. They're looking for writers who have the basics right and just need that little push to get them over the fence. And that includes having a submission package and polished manuscript ready.

During my time as a #SmoochPit mentor, I read about a hundred query letters and sample pages and requested 5 fulls. Of them, I picked one, and I'm so blessed to be able to say that ,Cynthia Timoti is the best mentee ever. She's the sweetest soul on Earth, extremely hardworking, efficient, and had a strong foundation. Her writing was hilarious, voice-y, and memorable, and I had a gala time mentoring her.

Cynthia's query letter, in particular, pulled me in immediately (like I couldn't press that request button fast enough), but it just needed a little bit work to make it sing. In this post, I'm going to be showing you Cynthia's original query letter, and her query letter after I critiqued it. Thank you, Cynthia, for letting me do this <3 I'm so grateful to you for trusting me with your wonderful story. And I'm only wishing the best for you!!

Now, before further ado, let's get to critiquing:

ORIGINAL QUERY LETTER

Dear [agent name],

I’m seeking representation for ANYONE BUT HIM, an adult, single-POV multicultural romantic comedy, best described as The Hating Game meets Crazy Rich Asians. The manuscript is complete at 85,000 words, a stand-alone book with series potential, and would appeal to fans of Christina Lauren, Ali Hazelwood, and Sara Desai.

[agent personalization]

Ellie Pang is a woman of many titles: a type 1 diabetic, a reluctant financial analyst, and a lifelong enabler of her controlling, Chinese-Indonesian family. When they orchestrate a (humiliating) public proposal from their wealthy business partner, she snaps and goes on the run; adding jobless, viral YouTube video star, and the family black sheep to her long list of achievements. But her quest to rebuild her ruined life hits a snag and is about to flushed down the drain, and the only person who can help her turn things around is her sworn enemy. There’s only one teeny-tiny catch: she must pretend to be his girlfriend.

All she needs to do is survive the next few weeks feigning love and affection for (while trying not to maim) the man who almost killed her ten years ago. That isn’t so hard … right? But when the thin line between hate and fake-madly-in-love starts to blur, and ugly secrets buried a long time ago resurface, Ellie must learn to trust her heart, and choose between love and family.

Born and raised in Indonesia, I currently reside in Melbourne, Australia. I was lucky enough to have been chosen as a 2022 SmoochPit mentee, and am also a member of RWA (Romance Writers of Australia). I completed the Writing a Romance Novel course at Curtis Brown Creative UK, guided by NY Times bestselling author Jenny Colgan; as well as the Romance Clinic with Writers Victoria (Aus), led by USA Today bestselling Australian author, Amy Andrews. I enclose [required pages], as per your guidelines.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Cynthia Timoti (she/her)

INITIAL THOUGHTS (left in Cynthia's document)

So I just completed the first quick read-through, and I think this is SUCH a strong query letter! You have the tripartite structure, voice, metadata, and bio NAILED, and this stands pretty well on its own, but I think a few tweaks and adding more flesh to the pitch in particular might help! When you're querying, it's super important to make an agent connect to the characters, their exact motivations, the love interest (so we can root for them to get together), and also not leave out any details!

The pitch section can be ~3 paragraphs long, so don't hesitate to add more words to it, especially if it helps serve the purpose of making the reader immediately beg to read more <3

My query letter's pitch bits were always longer and more fleshed out with emotions and details, and that always managed to get me more requests than the shorter, vaguer ones ever did. But of course, this is just my experience. You must edit your query letter in a way you feel is right <3 All that said, I hope my suggestions help you out!

COMMENTS

Dear [agent name],

I’m seeking representation for ANYONE BUT HIM, an adult, single-POV [1] multicultural romantic comedy, best described as The Hating Game meets Crazy Rich Asians [2]. The manuscript is complete at 85,000 words [3], a stand-alone book with series potential, and would appeal to fans of Christina Lauren, Ali Hazelwood, and Sara Desai [4].

[agent personalization]

Ellie Pang is a woman of many titles: a type 1 diabetic, a reluctant financial analyst, and a lifelong enabler of her controlling, Chinese-Indonesian family. When they orchestrate a (humiliating) public proposal from their wealthy business partner, she snaps and goes on the run; adding jobless, viral YouTube video star, and the family black sheep to her long list of achievements. But her quest to rebuild her ruined life hits a snag and is about to flushed down the drain, and the only person who can help her turn things around is her sworn enemy. There’s only one teeny-tiny catch: she must pretend to be his girlfriend.

All she needs to do is survive the next few weeks feigning love and affection for (while trying not to maim) the man who almost killed her ten years ago [5]. That isn’t so hard … right? But when the thin line between hate and fake-madly-in-love starts to blur, and ugly secrets buried a long time ago resurface, Ellie must learn to trust her heart, and choose between love and family.

Born and raised in Indonesia, I currently reside in Melbourne, Australia. I was lucky enough to have been chosen as a 2022 SmoochPit mentee, and am also a member of RWA (Romance Writers of Australia). I completed the Writing a Romance Novel course at Curtis Brown Creative UK, guided by NY Times bestselling author Jenny Colgan; as well as the Romance Clinic with Writers Victoria (Aus), led by USA Today bestselling Australian author, Amy Andrews [6]. I enclose [required pages], as per your guidelines.

Thank you for your time and consideration [7].

Sincerely,

Cynthia Timoti (she/her)

You don't really need this bit, because if nothing is mentioned, it is implied it's a single-POV novel I love these comps so much they're perfect <3 Oh man I wish ONE book of mine could be under 95k words. I'm such an overwriter, I have never written a first draft under 100k lol. That was the one thing that got me a lot of rejections before I learned my lesson. Once again, love these writer comps as well! I'd love for you to be able to add a strikethrough in your query somewhere, since it's present in your text as well and is so voice-y! Fantastic bio <3 Probably the best I've seen in a while. So, basically what I'm going to do is add more flesh to your pitch, and give the setting, Ellie's stakes, and Alec's character more depth—more emotion to connect to! Don't hesitate to lengthen your pitch; a longer query won't get you rejected.LINE EDITS

Dear [agent name],

I’m seeking representation for ANYONE BUT HIM, anmy adult, single-POV multicultural rom-comromantic comedy, best described as The Hating Game meets Crazy Rich Asians. The manuscript is complete at 85,000 words, a stand-alone book with series potential, and would appeal to fans of Christina Lauren, Ali Hazelwood, and Sara Desai.

[agent personalization]

Ellie Pang is a woman of many titles: a type 1 diabetic, a reluctant financial analyst, and a lifelong enabler of her controlling, Chinese-Indonesian family. When they orchestrate a (humiliating) public proposal from their wealthy business partner, and get her fired from her job for saying no, she snaps and goes on the run; —adding jobless, viral YouTube video star, and the family black sheep to her long list of achievements.

But her quest to rebuild her ruined life and finally open that sugar-free bakery she’s been dreaming of hits a snag when the “perfect” property she leases ends up being a rat-infested dump; needing renovations her measly savings cannot afford. and is about to flushed down the drain, and Unfortunately, the only person who can help her turn things around is Alec “Sexy Building Expert” Mackenzie: the man who not just broke her heart, but almost killed her ten years ago. If things weren’t bad enough, there’s a catch—in return for help with renovations, her sworn enemy. There’s only one teeny-tiny catch: she must pretend to be his girlfriend in order to save his business deal.

All sheEllie needs to do is survive the next few weeks feigning love and affection for (while trying not to maim) the man she never truly moved on from the man who almost killed her ten years ago. That isn’t so hard … right? But when the thin line between hate and fake-madly-in-love starts to blur, and ugly secrets buried a long time ago resurface, Ellie must learn to trust her heart, and choose between love and family.

Born and raised in Indonesia, I currently reside in Melbourne, Australia. I was lucky enough to have been chosen as a 2022 SmoochPit mentee, and am also a member of RWA (Romance Writers of Australia). I completed the Writing a Romance Novel course at Curtis Brown Creative UK, guided by NY Times bestselling author Jenny Colgan; as well as the Romance Clinic with Writers Victoria (Aus), led by USA Today bestselling Australian author, Amy Andrews. I've enclosed [required pages], as per your guidelines.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you!

SincerelyBest,

Cynthia Timoti (she/her)

FINAL QUERY

Dear [agent name],

I’m seeking representation for ANYONE BUT HIM, my adult, multicultural rom-com best described as The Hating Game meets Crazy Rich Asians. The manuscript is complete at 85,000 words, a stand-alone book with series potential, and would appeal to fans of Christina Lauren, Ali Hazelwood, and Sara Desai.

[agent personalization]

Ellie Pang is a woman of many titles: a type 1 diabetic, a reluctant financial analyst, and a lifelong enabler of her controlling, Chinese-Indonesian family. When they orchestrate a (humiliating) public proposal from their wealthy business partner, and get her fired from her job for saying no, she snaps and goes on the run—adding jobless, viral YouTube video star, and family black sheep to her long list of achievements.

But her quest to rebuild her ruined life and finally open that sugar-free bakery she's been dreaming of hits a snag when the "perfect" property she leases ends up being a rat-infested dump; needing renovations her measly savings cannot afford. Unfortunately, the only person who can help her turn things around is Alec "Sexy Building Expert" Mackenzie: the man who not just broke her heart, but almost killed her ten years ago. If things weren't bad enough, there's a catch—in return for his help with renovations, she must pretend to be his girlfriend in order to save his business deal.

All Ellie needs to do is survive the next few weeks feigning love and affection for (while trying not to maim) the man she never truly moved on from her sworn enemy. That isn’t so hard … right? But when the thin line between hate and fake-madly-in-love starts to blur, and ugly secrets buried a long time ago resurface, Ellie must learn to trust her heart, and choose between love and family.

Born and raised in Indonesia, I currently reside in Melbourne, Australia. I was lucky enough to have been chosen as a 2022 SmoochPit mentee, and am also a member of RWA (Romance Writers of Australia). I completed the Writing a Romance Novel course at Curtis Brown Creative UK, guided by NYT bestselling author Jenny Colgan; as well as the Romance Clinic with Writers Victoria (Aus), led by USA Today bestselling Australian author Amy Andrews. I've enclosed [required pages], as per your guidelines.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you!

Best,

Cynthia Timoti (she/her)

And with that, we've reached the end of this blog post! As you might've observed, Cynthia's query letter already checked off a lot of points. But what it needed was just a little bit of flesh to add layers to the plot and character, and also, most importantly, not be vague (and end up confusing agents). Cynthia (the angel), ended up incorporating all my suggestions, lol, and I'm just so glad she found them helpful <3

You can let me know if you have any questions in the comments below, and I'll try my best to answer them. I might be starting query critiques for just $10 very soon, and regularly conduct query critique giveaways, so you can follow me on Twitter if you want an update on either!

Anyway, that's that! Thank you for reading <3

ALL THE FULL REJECTIONS I RECEIVED WHILE QUERYING THE BOOK THAT LANDED ME MY AGENT—Anahita Karthik

Since lots of you found my thread of full rejections helpful, I decided to turn it into a blog post to make it more easily accessible. Below are all the full rejections I received for Desi Witch, the novel that eventually secured me representation. But before that, here are two links you might find helpful to go through before you dive into this particular post:

Query letter breakdown + tips: https://www.anahitakarthik.com/post/the-query-letter-that-got-me-my-agent-and-31-full-partial-requests Querying journey + stats: https://www.anahitakarthik.com/post/how-i-got-my-agent-after-5-books-and-300-rejections-anahita-karthik

A couple other things to keep in mind before reading my full rejections:

I haven't included any agent or agency names I haven't included all my rejections in this post because the text either showed the agent/agency's name, contained spoilers for the book, or was worded in a way I didn't find comfortable posting I secured representation for the very version of my manuscript that received all the below rejections, which proves that no matter how many passes you get, there's still a chance someone will say yes. It's all super subjective. Oftentimes, I found myself wondering what I was doing wrong because I was getting such contrasting feedback, but until least 3-4 agents say the same thing, you don't have to revise your manuscript—unless you align with some agent's vision, of course. As a BIPOC writer, my concerns were different from what another writer might experience in the querying trenches (not to mention I was querying a queer manuscript), and I ranted about this here , incase you'd like some insight into what it's like being a BIPOC writer in the trenches.

Now, without further ado, here are all the full rejections I received for the novel that eventually secured me representation:

REJECTION 1

While I really appreciate the agent taking the time out to re-read my partial and assure me that all the pacing/plotting/worldbuilding/character elements were in place, what struck me about this particular rejection was that the agent thought that the magic/coven/spells elements seemed closer to middle grade. Which is bullshit because that is, in no way, true. The agent could've easily said my novel wasn't for them instead of coming up with a lazy excuse, which left me wondering if I'd made a mistake writing witches into a YA novel. Agents really ought to keep in mind that anything they say is taken extremely seriously by querying authors *sighs*. This was also the first full rejection I received for Desi Witch, so you can imagine how disheartening it was.

REJECTION 2

This reads like the usual form rejection, which I honestly prefer over the agent straight up ghosting the writer. At least they found a lot to admire in the project, and were clear that it was just about the book not being a perfect fit/match.

REJECTION 3

Again, a polite rejection letting me know that it was just a "connection" issue and that they wished me the best of luck. I gather it was because they were expecting something similar to what I'd submitted to them before—a dark adult spy thriller, which is so, so different from Desi Witch, lol. So again, it's about subjectivity, and not about the execution of the novel, per se.

REJECTION 4

Ah, the dreaded reply that comes in many forms and variations: either the agent "didn't connect to the project/voice", "didn't have a vision for it", "wasn't a perfect match", "didn't feel the spark" blah blah. These ones particularly hurt, because you feel like you got the recipe correct, but somehow the taster didn't like the food. It's no one's fault, honestly.

REJECTION 5

This feedback hits at the moment because while I was querying, I kept hearing that the pacing was off...except it wasn't in the sense that the agent was specifying above. Most of them felt that the plot was slow. And this agent was actually asking me to slow it down further. Back then, I didn't take it up as a signal to revise, but now that I'm on submission to editors, I have them saying the same thing: the reader needs time and space to connect to the world and characters before introducing the inciting incident. It's funny how everyone wants different things at different stages, and how some things work sometimes, and other times they don't. If I'd paced my story down last year after this feedback, I probably wouldn't have gotten an offer from Rebecca. Publishing is weird that way. Yet, in hindsight, I wouldn't have had my journey go any other way, because I love Rebecca and everything she's made possible for me!

REJECTION 6

Here's the feedback I was talking about above: agents wanting to get to the meat of the story faster. It's so weird how two different people can feel so differently about the exact same query letter and pages.

REJECTION 7

If you thought the "not being a perfect fit" rejection hurt, you haven't received this one. This is the one people like to call a step aside rather than an explicit rejection, because this one isn't about the novel at all. It's about the timing. And unless an agent is 100% desperate to read the novel despite being flooded with other manuscripts, it's unlikely they'll want to compete. Remember, once you nudge other agents with your first offer, it becomes a competition. A bid. And agents don't want to risk participating until they are entirely obsessed with the novel.

REJECTION 8

Agh, the timing devil strikes again!! And with an agent I was so EXCITED to have read my manuscript. But alas, I had to brush aside the tears and move on. Because that's what we querying authors must do to survive the trenches.

REJECTION 9

Here's an agent that didn't really have a timing issue, but more of a competition issue. Some agents are like that; they don't like deadlines, no matter how eager they are about a certain project. Maybe this agent doesn't mind the occasional deadline, and just didn't find a reason to be enthusiastic enough to compete with other agents. I'll never know. Either way, it's a pass.

REJECTION 10

Short, and somewhat sweet, but it does the job of ripping the band-aid off quickly. I preferred these rejections over ghosts on fulls/partials, because hey, at least the agent tried. And them mentioning that they could see why I'd received an offer gave me the ounce of strength I needed to push this one behind me, because it came from a dream agent.

REJECTION 11

Sometimes, agents love what the query and sample pages promise. And most times, the manuscript doesn't deliver. This is just one of those most times. Another classic case of "wasn't a fit".

REJECTION 12

They sure do know how to write the perfect form rejection.

REJECTION 13

This one's sweet, and pretty much explains itself: the agent loved the manuscript, but didn't think they were the perfect champion for it. Think of it this way: you go to a bookstore and pick up a random book. You read it. You love it. Now, I ask you to point out how exactly you might make the book even better and sell it to someone else. Can you do it? And if so, in your opinion, can you do it the best?

REJECTION 14

Everyone knows that a bird in hand is always better than two in the bush. If I have an offer from a perfectly respectable agent, why would I want to consider an R&R at that stage, unless I 100% connect with it? And why would the agent want to take a gamble on my revisions in such a short period of time? There's so many questions to ask here, and so many ways it could turn out, but this agent wasn't ready to gamble, and I wasn't ready to let go of the bird in my hand.

REJECTION 15

This is one of those "almost" situations, where the person you're dating is amazing. But they're someone your parents wouldn't approve of, and you aren't obsessed enough with them to want to stand up to your parents. But, you think they'd be amazing with a friend of yours (who doesn't have overbearing parents), and you would definitely love to set them up if they didn't already have a proposal.

REJECTION 16

This one really hurt at that time because this was an agent who had been so excited about my query, pages, and reading my manuscript when I nudged with my offer, and assured me they'd get back before the deadline. But they eventually didn't get the time, and I felt let down because I'd raised my hopes so much. People make promises they can't keep all the time, so it's fine, but it still hurts.

REJECTION 17

I liked the tone and clarity of this particular rejection. The agent is encouraging, polite, and specific with their feedback. And I also like how they thanked me for keeping them in mind. Querying was such a nightmare, it was instances of positivity like these that helped me keep going.

REJECTION 18

This particular instance would be one where the agent didn't get what they were expecting. They'd been excited about the pages and the query letter, but sometimes you hype yourself up so much to the premise that it doesn't end up delivering for you. Again, super subjective, and I appreciate the honesty. Though, in hindsight, it's just another way of saying it "wasn't the perfect fit", haha.

REJECTION 19

This one is similar to REJECTION 14, where it would've been an R&R situation had I not already had an offer in hand.

REJECTION 20

WHY DO THESE TIMING RELATED REJECTIONS SUCK SO MUCH?? And the agent was bummed as well about not being able to read my manuscript. UGH. At least they were sweet and honest about it.

REJECTION 21

I remember cursing myself at one point for querying at the same time at the #Pitchwars showcase because so many agents weren't finding the time to read my manuscript. With all these agents saying such lovely things about my novel otherwise, I realize I might've gotten more offers if the time had been right, or if agents had found more potential in my project to prioritize it. This agent in particular was super huge, so at least it was encouraging seeing good feedback from them.

REJECTION 22

DO YOU SEE HOW MANY TIMING-RELATED REJECTIONS I GOT? But hey, at least they said they would regret passing on later, huh? AT LEAST MY MANUSCRIPT WAS WORTH A REGRET. Lol.

REJECTION 23

I really appreciate the agent mentioning that my project had marketability because it helps to hear from an industry professional that yes, publishing is looking for what you're writing! So, although it wasn't a fit, it didn't hurt as much.

REJECTION 24

I suppose it makes sense to end this post with the FATHER OF FORM REJECTIONS, because we've all received our share of these, lmao.

And with that, we have reached the end of this post! I hope these help you out, because lord knows I lost complete faith in my manuscript because of the ratio of requests/offers. It was so disheartening to see that my query letter and pages were working but the manuscript was letting down agents, somehow. But I later realized it all depended on timing, luck, marketability, and subjectivity. And the most important thing: whether you're willing to keep going.

*puts on professional voice* Anyhow, I hope this post helps you, and I wish you the best of luck in your publishing endeavors!

THE QUERY LETTER THAT GOT ME MY AGENT (and 31 full/partial requests)—Anahita Karthik

It's here, as promised: the query letter that got me my agent (and 31 full/partial requests) along with query tips + tricks that really helped me during my journey. If you'd like to view my stats for Desi Witch, you can navigate to my How I Got My Agent blog post, where I laid my querying journey bare.

No two journeys are the same, of course, so what helped me massively might not help someone else, but browsing query tips and query letter examples by other authors really helped me figure out what I might've been doing wrong when I was querying, and I hope this blog post helps you too!

I'll first paste in my query letter, and in the section following that, I'll share my footnotes and comments about each part of the query letter. At the very bottom, I've included a few resources that helped me massively during my querying journey (they're my own personal gold mine). Before that, though, here's a few things–right off the top of my head–that you can take note of while writing queries:

Few things to keep in mind (purely for fiction queries):

Keep your query between 250-350 words Include word count, comparative titles/authors, age category, genre, and title of the book. These together constitute your metadata paragraph Keep max three paragraphs for the pitch and make sure the last one wraps up the stakes Include relevant bio Mention age of your main character

Formatting specifications:

Black text colour TIMES NEW ROMAN 12 pt. font Single line spacing Add space between paragraphs

Query Don’ts:

Don’t be vague/don’t exclude details. Be specific. Don’t use rhetorical statements Don’t include more than three comp titles Don't write DEAR AGENT in your salutation line: nothing will get you a faster reject.

Query Dos:

Do follow agency-specific guidelines Do consider joining Twitter and following the agents you wish to query Do browse the #MSWL hashtag on Twitter to find out what agents are looking for Do make your query as voice-y as possible Do include a strong writing sample (if asked to include writing sample) that offers what your query letter promises Do address the agent correctly (correct spelling, correct pronouns)

Now, without further ado, here's the query letter that got me my agent.

MY QUERY LETTER

[SUBJECT LINE]

#DVPit tweet: desi GILMORE GIRLS × CEMETERY BOYS When their coven’s magic collapses, kitchen-witch Ira & her mom are forced to: 1. Band together w/ a spunky spirit, 2. Prep for a road trip, 3. Take their rival covens’ help before time runs out—if they don't get killed first. #DVPit #OWN #YA

Dear [AGENT NAME],

Since you [EXPRESSED AN INTEREST IN…/ARE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR…/ARE ACTIVELY SEEKING…], I was hoping you might like [TITLE], my YA Contemporary-Fantasy complete at 89,000 words. The novel draws inspiration from the fun mother-daughter dynamic of GILMORE GIRLS, combines magic and cooking like JUST ADD MAGIC, and will appeal to readers who love CEMETERY BOYS. During #DVpit, my tweet garnered attention from 12 editors. I’ve included the list below the query.

When eighteen-year-old desi witch Ira’s ex-BFF Alia returns from the dead, she has bad news: the spell they performed three years ago not only killed Alia, but also infected the network of energy shells that bless the witches with magical powers. Sucks that Ira’s the daughter of one of the five Grand Witches associated with these energy shells, because if anyone found out that Ira also performed the spell, her mom Shashi’s reputation would be screwed.

It’s bad enough that Ira has to deal with her resurfacing anxiety, but what was supposed to be a Diwali full of jalebi-making ends in a disaster—their coven’s shell collapses. And bitter-tongued Alia is the only one who can help Ira and Shashi revive it before the coven loses their witching powers forever.

Armed with spices, oils, and cauldrons, and cooped up in their food truck, the three prepare to set off on a road trip to perform a ritual to collect energies from their rival covens and revive their own. As it turns out, road trips are just as romantic as Ira dreaded them to be, which means that while she’s trying to avoid getting killed by the other covens, she is also disastrously falling for Alia. But romantic involvement with a corpse-switching spirit can lead to banishment from the coven. Besides, Alia will never forgive Ira, not unless Ira reveals the truth about what happened the night Alia died, to Shashi and her coven—and most of all, to herself.

As a desi army brat, I’ve lived in all the Indian cities/towns Ira visits during her road trip. I spend my free time baking and devouring Indian mythology comics like Amar Chitra Katha, both of which inspired the writing of my novel. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Anahita Karthik

[EDITOR LIST]

MY QUERY LETTER (with comments in light purple) [SUBJECT LINE]

Every agency has different guidelines on how to tailor the subject line, so ignore this if it doesn’t apply, but here’s how I used to frame most of my subject lines (especially when there were no agency specifications):

#DVPit query, YA Contemporary-Fantasy: [TITLE] by Anahita Karthik.

#DVPit tweet: desi GILMORE GIRLS × CEMETERY BOYS When their coven’s magic collapses, kitchen-witch Ira & her mom are forced to: 1. Band together w/ a spunky spirit, 2. Prep for a road trip, 3. Take their rival covens’ help before time runs out—if they don't get killed first. #DVPit #OWN #YA

I included the ,#DVPit tweet at the very top of the query so the agent could know immediately what they’d requested.

Dear [AGENT NAME],

I used to address the agent I was querying using their first name so I wouldn't accidentally use the wrong titles.

Since you [EXPRESSED AN INTEREST IN…/ARE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR…/ARE ACTIVELY SEEKING…]

Most of my queries were either #DVpit queries (which meant I didn’t need to personalize them) and cold queries without personalization like [I’m seeking representation for…].

Unless you have a very specific reason why you would like to query the agent, I’d suggest sticking to not personalizing it at all instead of making a generic mistake and going with something like [Since you are seeking fantasy…/Since you are seeking YA…]. They don't count as personalizations; they’re just age categories and genres the agent represents. Mention something specific they might be looking for, or don’t personalize at all.

Fun fact: my query to my agent wasn’t a #DVpit query. It wasn’t even personalized. It started with a simple [I’m seeking representation for…]. It's crazy how subjective this industry is.

I was hoping you might like [TITLE],

Side note about the title: I’m not including it right now since I’m still working on revisions for the novel and haven’t gone on sub yet, so the title might change, but when it is final, I will make sure to edit this blog post!

Another side note: the title I queried Desi Witch with was fun, banger, and hilarious, which I think could be a reason agents were attracted to my subject line and book-info on email/,QueryTracker? I’m not an agent, so I couldn’t know, but Desi Witch just got super fast responses in general, and it does help to have a funny, eye-catching title just to make things fun (there’s high chances the title will probably change later anyway, lmao, so I wouldn’t stress about it!).

my YA Contemporary-Fantasy complete at 89,000 words.

It helps to stick to industry-preferred word counts for novels. I have gotten very specific rejections on my previously shelved novels because the word counts were too high, and I made sure I had an ideal word count with Desi Witch. Remember, agents scan the metadata paragraph very quickly (and the info section on QueryTracker), which means they can easily send you a quick rejection for a way-beyond-ideal word count as well!

The novel draws inspiration from the fun mother-daughter dynamic of GILMORE GIRLS, combines magic and cooking like JUST ADD MAGIC, and will appeal to readers who love CEMETERY BOYS.

This line was just super important for me to include, because it gets across the exact themes and inspirations for Desi Witch, along with good, workable comp titles.

Side note: while it’s okay to start with the pitch paragraphs, I faced problems with marketability the first few times I queried and I wanted the agent to know immediately where my book fit into the market, why I chose to query them, and have context first before they dove into the pitch and concept.

During #DVpit, my tweet garnered attention from 12 editors. I’ve included the list below the query.

Usually people mention that editors expressed interest in their novel at the end of the query but (is it muahahaha of me?) I wanted the agent to know that lots of editors were interested in my novel at the start of the query itself ;))

When eighteen-year-old desi witch Ira’s

It’s important to include your main character’s age to make sure they fit in the ideal age range for that age category. For example, for YA,16-18 is a good age range for your MC.

I also put across the info that she’s a desi witch immediately, since I didn’t want to waste words easing into it.

ex-BFF Alia

We immediately know what this second character’s relationship to the MC is.

Note: make your query as voice-y as possible, especially if it’s fiction! More than the complexity of plot, agents are seeking voices to connect to.

returns from the dead, she has bad news: the spell they performed three years ago not only killed Alia, but also infected the network of energy shells that bless the witches with magical powers.

Build-up + inciting incident + setup for stakes

Sucks that Ira’s the daughter of one of the five Grand Witches associated with these energy shells, because if anyone found out that Ira also performed the spell, her mom Shashi’s reputation would be screwed.

The “oh no here’s why the inciting incident screws up things for her” and “trouble’s coming” bit.

It’s bad enough that Ira has to deal with her resurfacing anxiety, but what was supposed to be a Diwali full of jalebi-making ends in a disaster—their coven’s shell collapses. And bitter-tongued Alia is the only one who can help Ira and Shashi revive it before the coven loses their witching powers forever.

The “how do we resolve this issue?” and “why will taking this route to resolve the issue be a problem?”.

Armed with spices, oils, and cauldrons, and cooped up in their food truck,

Here’s a bit that’s there both in my synopsis and query letter because I Iove it so much. It highlights exactly what being a kitchen witch is about and also showcases why going with your mom and dead ex-BFF on a road trip is a “cooped” situation indeed!

the three prepare to set off on a road trip to perform a ritual to collect energies from their rival covens and revive their own. As it turns out, road trips are just as romantic as Ira dreaded them to be, which means that while she’s trying to avoid getting killed by the other covens, she is also disastrously falling for Alia.

The “what does the MC face during their journey?” + “oops now I’m also falling for this person” bits.

But romantic involvement with a corpse-switching spirit can lead to banishment from the coven. Besides, Alia will never forgive Ira, not unless Ira reveals the truth about what happened the night Alia died, to Shashi and her coven—and most of all, to herself.

Closing of stakes.

This has to be the most important part of your query letter, like [now the MC must choose between X and X …/now the MC must do X or risk X…]. Here, X and X are two equally difficult choices.

The stakes help wrap the query up and tie it with a neat bow, and they must be super personal to the MC.

As a desi army brat, I’ve lived in all the Indian cities/towns Ira visits during her road trip. I spend my free time baking and devouring Indian mythology comics like Amar Chitra Katha, both of which inspired the writing of my novel. Thank you for your time.

Although I do have some writing-related credits, I wanted to focus more on why I was the best person to write this novel, and what inspired this story. The query letter is more about the pitch and less about yourself, and I really wanted to highlight that! That said, if you have been an indie bestseller before or have decades of experience in publishing or a recognizable credit, those you must definitely mention.

PS: as someone who has been self-published before, I’d recommend not mentioning it unless you've had insanely good sales.

PPS: ,QueryManager has a *required bio option. Here’s a way to tackle this: keep two bios. A short, book-related, fun one that you keep in your query letter, and a second one for the *required bio section. This one can be longer and highlight your writing achievements. For example, mine was this:

I’m a desi engineering junior and I’ve lived in India all my life. I was a 2021 #RevPit finalist for my adult thriller BLOOD TURNED POISON and have had my short story BIRDS IN A GOLDEN CAGE featured on Voyage YA's 2021 short story longlist.

Sincerely, Anahita Karthik

I didn’t, but feel free to include your pronouns here like Anahita Karthik (she/her).

[EDITOR LIST]

I followed this format for the editor list:

[EDITOR 1 NAME]: [IMPRINT NAME], [PUBLISHING HOUSE NAME] [EDITOR 2 NAME]: [IMPRINT NAME], [PUBLISHING HOUSE NAME]

and so on.

RESOURCES Amanda Woody's Obscenely Long Query Tip Compilation: The Ultimate Thread Real Life Query Letter Examples Literary Agent Laura Zats' Best Practices Thread A Thread of Query Letter Examples (check the comments)

THE QUERY LETTER THAT GOT ME MY AGENT (and 31 full/partial requests)

It's here, as promised: the query letter that got me my agent (and 31 full/partial requests) along with query tips + tricks that really helped me during my journey. If you'd like to view my stats for Desi Witch, you can navigate to my How I Got My Agent blog post, where I laid my querying journey bare.

No two journeys are the same, of course, so what helped me massively might not help someone else, but browsing query tips and query letter examples by other authors really helped me figure out what I might've been doing wrong when I was querying, and I hope this blog post helps you too!

I'll first paste in my query letter, and in the section following that, I'll share my footnotes and comments about each part of the query letter. At the very bottom, I've included a few resources that helped me massively during my querying journey (they're my own personal gold mine). Before that, though, here's a few things–right off the top of my head–that you can take note of while writing queries:

Few things to keep in mind (purely for fiction queries):

Keep your query between 250-350 words Include word count, comparative titles/authors, age category, genre, and title of the book. These together constitute your metadata paragraph Keep max three paragraphs for the pitch and make sure the last one wraps up the stakes Include relevant bio Mention age of your main character

Formatting specifications:

Black text colour TIMES NEW ROMAN 12 pt. font Single line spacing Add space between paragraphs

Query Don’ts:

Don’t be vague/don’t exclude details. Be specific. Don’t use rhetorical statements Don’t include more than three comp titles Don't write DEAR AGENT in your salutation line: nothing will get you a faster reject.

Query Dos:

Do follow agency-specific guidelines Do consider joining Twitter and following the agents you wish to query Do browse the #MSWL hashtag on Twitter to find out what agents are looking for Do make your query as voice-y as possible Do include a strong writing sample (if asked to include writing sample) that offers what your query letter promises Do address the agent correctly (correct spelling, correct pronouns)

Now, without further ado, here's the query letter that got me my agent.

MY QUERY LETTER

[SUBJECT LINE]

#DVPit tweet: desi GILMORE GIRLS × CEMETERY BOYS When their coven’s magic collapses, kitchen-witch Ira & her mom are forced to: 1. Band together w/ a spunky spirit, 2. Prep for a road trip, 3. Take their rival covens’ help before time runs out—if they don't get killed first. #DVPit #OWN #YA

Dear [AGENT NAME],

Since you [EXPRESSED AN INTEREST IN…/ARE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR…/ARE ACTIVELY SEEKING…], I was hoping you might like [TITLE], my YA Contemporary-Fantasy complete at 89,000 words. The novel draws inspiration from the fun mother-daughter dynamic of GILMORE GIRLS, combines magic and cooking like JUST ADD MAGIC, and will appeal to readers who love CEMETERY BOYS. During #DVpit, my tweet garnered attention from 12 editors. I’ve included the list below the query.

When eighteen-year-old desi witch Ira’s ex-BFF Alia returns from the dead, she has bad news: the spell they performed three years ago not only killed Alia, but also infected the network of energy shells that bless the witches with magical powers. Sucks that Ira’s the daughter of one of the five Grand Witches associated with these energy shells, because if anyone found out that Ira also performed the spell, her mom Shashi’s reputation would be screwed.

It’s bad enough that Ira has to deal with her resurfacing anxiety, but what was supposed to be a Diwali full of jalebi-making ends in a disaster—their coven’s shell collapses. And bitter-tongued Alia is the only one who can help Ira and Shashi revive it before the coven loses their witching powers forever.

Armed with spices, oils, and cauldrons, and cooped up in their food truck, the three prepare to set off on a road trip to perform a ritual to collect energies from their rival covens and revive their own. As it turns out, road trips are just as romantic as Ira dreaded them to be, which means that while she’s trying to avoid getting killed by the other covens, she is also disastrously falling for Alia. But romantic involvement with a corpse-switching spirit can lead to banishment from the coven. Besides, Alia will never forgive Ira, not unless Ira reveals the truth about what happened the night Alia died, to Shashi and her coven—and most of all, to herself.

As a desi army brat, I’ve lived in all the Indian cities/towns Ira visits during her road trip. I spend my free time baking and devouring Indian mythology comics like Amar Chitra Katha, both of which inspired the writing of my novel. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Anahita Karthik

[EDITOR LIST]

MY QUERY LETTER (with comments in light purple) [SUBJECT LINE]

Every agency has different guidelines on how to tailor the subject line, so ignore this if it doesn’t apply, but here’s how I used to frame most of my subject lines (especially when there were no agency specifications):

#DVPit query, YA Contemporary-Fantasy: [TITLE] by Anahita Karthik.

#DVPit tweet: desi GILMORE GIRLS × CEMETERY BOYS When their coven’s magic collapses, kitchen-witch Ira & her mom are forced to: 1. Band together w/ a spunky spirit, 2. Prep for a road trip, 3. Take their rival covens’ help before time runs out—if they don't get killed first. #DVPit #OWN #YA

I included the ,#DVPit tweet at the very top of the query so the agent could know immediately what they’d requested.

Dear [AGENT NAME],

I used to address the agent I was querying using their first name so I wouldn't accidentally use the wrong titles.

Since you [EXPRESSED AN INTEREST IN…/ARE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR…/ARE ACTIVELY SEEKING…]

Most of my queries were either #DVpit queries (which meant I didn’t need to personalize them) and cold queries without personalization like [I’m seeking representation for…].

Unless you have a very specific reason why you would like to query the agent, I’d suggest sticking to not personalizing it at all instead of making a generic mistake and going with something like [Since you are seeking fantasy…/Since you are seeking YA…]. They don't count as personalizations; they’re just age categories and genres the agent represents. Mention something specific they might be looking for, or don’t personalize at all.

Fun fact: my query to my agent wasn’t a #DVpit query. It wasn’t even personalized. It started with a simple [I’m seeking representation for…]. It's crazy how subjective this industry is.

I was hoping you might like [TITLE],

Side note about the title: I’m not including it right now since I’m still working on revisions for the novel and haven’t gone on sub yet, so the title might change, but when it is final, I will make sure to edit this blog post!

Another side note: the title I queried Desi Witch with was fun, banger, and hilarious, which I think could be a reason agents were attracted to my subject line and book-info on email/,QueryTracker? I’m not an agent, so I couldn’t know, but Desi Witch just got super fast responses in general, and it does help to have a funny, eye-catching title just to make things fun (there’s high chances the title will probably change later anyway, lmao, so I wouldn’t stress about it!).

my YA Contemporary-Fantasy complete at 89,000 words.

It helps to stick to industry-preferred word counts for novels. I have gotten very specific rejections on my previously shelved novels because the word counts were too high, and I made sure I had an ideal word count with Desi Witch. Remember, agents scan the metadata paragraph very quickly (and the info section on QueryTracker), which means they can easily send you a quick rejection for a way-beyond-ideal word count as well!

The novel draws inspiration from the fun mother-daughter dynamic of GILMORE GIRLS, combines magic and cooking like JUST ADD MAGIC, and will appeal to readers who love CEMETERY BOYS.

This line was just super important for me to include, because it gets across the exact themes and inspirations for Desi Witch, along with good, workable comp titles.

Side note: while it’s okay to start with the pitch paragraphs, I faced problems with marketability the first few times I queried and I wanted the agent to know immediately where my book fit into the market, why I chose to query them, and have context first before they dove into the pitch and concept.

During #DVpit, my tweet garnered attention from 12 editors. I’ve included the list below the query.

Usually people mention that editors expressed interest in their novel at the end of the query but (is it muahahaha of me?) I wanted the agent to know that lots of editors were interested in my novel at the start of the query itself ;))

When eighteen-year-old desi witch Ira’s

It’s important to include your main character’s age to make sure they fit in the ideal age range for that age category. For example, for YA,16-18 is a good age range for your MC.

I also put across the info that she’s a desi witch immediately, since I didn’t want to waste words easing into it.

ex-BFF Alia

We immediately know what this second character’s relationship to the MC is.

Note: make your query as voice-y as possible, especially if it’s fiction! More than the complexity of plot, agents are seeking voices to connect to.

returns from the dead, she has bad news: the spell they performed three years ago not only killed Alia, but also infected the network of energy shells that bless the witches with magical powers.

Build-up + inciting incident + setup for stakes

Sucks that Ira’s the daughter of one of the five Grand Witches associated with these energy shells, because if anyone found out that Ira also performed the spell, her mom Shashi’s reputation would be screwed.

The “oh no here’s why the inciting incident screws up things for her” and “trouble’s coming” bit.

It’s bad enough that Ira has to deal with her resurfacing anxiety, but what was supposed to be a Diwali full of jalebi-making ends in a disaster—their coven’s shell collapses. And bitter-tongued Alia is the only one who can help Ira and Shashi revive it before the coven loses their witching powers forever.

The “how do we resolve this issue?” and “why will taking this route to resolve the issue be a problem?”.

Armed with spices, oils, and cauldrons, and cooped up in their food truck,

Here’s a bit that’s there both in my synopsis and query letter because I Iove it so much. It highlights exactly what being a kitchen witch is about and also showcases why going with your mom and dead ex-BFF on a road trip is a “cooped” situation indeed!

the three prepare to set off on a road trip to perform a ritual to collect energies from their rival covens and revive their own. As it turns out, road trips are just as romantic as Ira dreaded them to be, which means that while she’s trying to avoid getting killed by the other covens, she is also disastrously falling for Alia.

The “what does the MC face during their journey?” + “oops now I’m also falling for this person” bits.

But romantic involvement with a corpse-switching spirit can lead to banishment from the coven. Besides, Alia will never forgive Ira, not unless Ira reveals the truth about what happened the night Alia died, to Shashi and her coven—and most of all, to herself.

Closing of stakes.

This has to be the most important part of your query letter, like [now the MC must choose between X and X …/now the MC must do X or risk X…]. Here, X and X are two equally difficult choices.

The stakes help wrap the query up and tie it with a neat bow, and they must be super personal to the MC.

As a desi army brat, I’ve lived in all the Indian cities/towns Ira visits during her road trip. I spend my free time baking and devouring Indian mythology comics like Amar Chitra Katha, both of which inspired the writing of my novel. Thank you for your time.

Although I do have some writing-related credits, I wanted to focus more on why I was the best person to write this novel, and what inspired this story. The query letter is more about the pitch and less about yourself, and I really wanted to highlight that! That said, if you have been an indie bestseller before or have decades of experience in publishing or a recognizable credit, those you must definitely mention.

PS: as someone who has been self-published before, I’d recommend not mentioning it unless you've had insanely good sales.

PPS: ,QueryManager has a *required bio option. Here’s a way to tackle this: keep two bios. A short, book-related, fun one that you keep in your query letter, and a second one for the *required bio section. This one can be longer and highlight your writing achievements. For example, mine was this:

I’m a desi engineering junior and I’ve lived in India all my life. I was a 2021 #RevPit finalist for my adult thriller BLOOD TURNED POISON and have had my short story BIRDS IN A GOLDEN CAGE featured on Voyage YA's 2021 short story longlist.

Sincerely, Anahita Karthik

I didn’t, but feel free to include your pronouns here like Anahita Karthik (she/her).

[EDITOR LIST]

I followed this format for the editor list:

[EDITOR 1 NAME]: [IMPRINT NAME], [PUBLISHING HOUSE NAME] [EDITOR 2 NAME]: [IMPRINT NAME], [PUBLISHING HOUSE NAME]

and so on.

RESOURCES Amanda Woody's Obscenely Long Query Tip Compilation: The Ultimate Thread Real Life Query Letter Examples Literary Agent Laura Zats' Best Practices Thread A Thread of Query Letter Examples (check the comments)

HOW I GOT MY AGENT (after 5 books and 300+ rejections)—Anahita Karthik

Wait, so you’re actually telling me I have an agent now and I get to write one of these? Well, shit. I’ve dreamt about writing the HOW I...