Carly Findlay's Blog, page 16

Being proud of my disabled body – Disability Pride Month

July is Disability Pride Month – a great excuse to share a couple more of these photos from the Melbourne Fashion Festival All Bodies are Beautiful flash mob event held in March. The flash mob was organised by Peta Hooke and Heidi Anderson to show that all bodies should be a part of the 2023  Melbourne Fashion Festival – and it was lots of fun to be a part of.

Stripping down to my underwear on a cool evening for half an hour was quite a feat for my comfort levels – and I’m not talking about for fear of being seen! Here I am, far more undressed than usual. I don’t cover up because I’m ashamed of my skin – I cover up to protect myself from the sun and as my body doesn’t regulate its temperature.

It’s possible to exist in a disabled body and be proud of how it looks and what it can do. I’m proof.

I’m proudly visible to show brands that I buy and wear their products. (Here I’m wearing @kipandco robe, @rollienation shoes and @bondsaus and @jockey_au underwear.)

I’m proudly visible for others with skin conditions, facial differences and disabilities – so they can feel less alone and more empowered to exist unapologetically in the world.

I’m proudly visible, in defiance of the people who have said I’m ugly, that I should hide away, or worse.

I’m proudly visible for Little Carly – because Little Carly was not proud and not full of self love, and desperately wanted to change in order to fit in.

I’m proudly visible because I don’t want anyone’s pity or to be prayed for/preyed upon or to be told I’m brave. I see and love this body every day – and it’s ok if you see it too.

Images: two images of a woman with red skin, wearing a black bra and black floral undies, and a blue floral robe over it. The robe hangs open, showing off her body. She’s also wearing pink shoes. The woman is standing against a giant plastic lavender teddy bear. She is outside smiling

Here is a Reel I made, it has the same photos as above, with the voiceover of Kath Day-Knight from Kath and Kim –check it out on my Instagram.

If this post has helped you or made you think about disability pride differently or you’ll use it in your work, please consider buying me a drink. Thanks!

Hot pink makes my heart sing!!

Images: Carly, a woman with a red face, short dark curly hair, wearing a hot pink boilersuit over a floral top, and black boots. In the first photo she’s not wearing a jacket. In the second, she’s wearing a neon floral puffer jacket. She’s standing near a bright green door in both pics, smiling.

Lots of people tell me they’re scared to wear bright colours. They don’t want to draw attention to themselves.

I’ve been there. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself beyond my red face, so I wore greys and browns.

And then I realised how fabulous wearing colourful clothes made me feel, and saw that I didn’t get negative reactions to my clothes. And so I wore what made me happy.

Today I wore this hot pink boilersuit to my two jobs – and literally everyone I spoke to complimented me on how fabulous my outfit was. It was a great talking point.

Just wear the colour. I promise you’ll feel fucking fabulous!

The invisible parts of my visible disability

Here are some of the invisible aspects of my visible disability.

This was inspired by Robyn Lambird, who did a similar video a few weeks ago.

(Also, video content takes so long to make – so if you find this useful, please like, share, comment and save!)

Video: a woman with a red face, short dark curly hair talking to a camera at a table. She’s wearing a hot pink gumnut babies print top under a neon leopard print jacket, and gumnut babies and yellow lillipilli brooches. There are captions on the video. The transcript is: “I have a visible disability.
But here’s what you’re not seeing:
The inability to regulate my body’s temperature, the iItching, the pain, the shame of the skin I leave behind, the exhaustion from other people’s ableism, curiosity and discrimination. Not all disabilities are visible. But not all aspects of visible disabilities are visible either.”

If this post has helped you, please consider buying me a drink!

Disability doesn’t mean inability

Saying “my relative is disabled but they’re very smart”, or “they’re disabled but active”, or “my friend is disabled but they’re able” is very ableist.

Disability doesn’t mean inability; and the worth and value of a disabled person shouldn’t depend on how smart, capable or active we are.

Spread the word!

If this post has helped you or made you think about disability differently, or if you’ll use it in your work, please consider buying me a drink.

How getting sick with a respiratory virus exacerbated my skin condition

Image: a woman with a red face, sitting in a restaurant, with a plate of Hainanese chicken on the table. She’s smiling. She’s wearing a light purple beanie, an orange dress with blue and purple birds on it, and a neon floral puffer jacket.

Recently I did a talk at a school. One of the amazing Year 6 students asked me whether when I get sick with a cold or another condition that isn’t my skin condition, does it make my skin condition worse?

Such a great question -and very pertinent to what’s been happening for me these last two months.

Yes, my skin does get worse when I get an unrelated sickness.

I’ve had a weird respiratory virus, that I believe was RSV. I wear a mask when I’m out, work from home a lot, and have had multiple vaccines, but I still got sick. I had a sore throat, shivers, sniffles, sneezes and a runny nose, lots of coughing, fatigue and hot and cold spells. I am feeling much better now, thanks.

After a few days of feeling utterly rubbish, and resting as much as I could, my skin got sore. It was drier than usual, inflamed and painful, and I worried it would become infected, so I moisturised a lot more frequently, drank much more water than usual, took preventative antibiotics and had salt and oil baths. And then my period came – so it was a triple whammy! Ugh. As the virus passed, my skin cleared. But it meant my discomfort and miserableness increased, as my body was working much harder to get well. I wasn’t up to doing a lot more than sleeping and occasional reading books and watching TV that didn’t take a lot of brainpower. I really felt knocked around – and it’s taken a while to catch up on things I missed while being sick.

When the respiratory virus was at its worst, I had to call the ambulance, and I was clear that I would prefer to stay out of hospital as going into hospital can make me susceptible to more bugs. Luckily I could take care of myself and rest at home.

So when disabled people say that we worry about getting sick – with Covid, colds and flus and other communicable diseases, please take this seriously. An illness that is mild for non disabled people can have a huge impact on disabled people – exacerbating our existing conditions; lasting a long time; add another condition like Long Covid; and in some cases, can be fatal. Please take care around disabled people if you are sick – wear a mask, stay home if you’re unwell, wash your hands etc. work from home provisions and online events are also very helpful. Thank you.

Disability Pride Month 2023 – the importance of connecting with others

Image: a plate of food – omelette on bread, with salmon, cucumber, beetroot and feta. A friend’s plate is in the background.

July is Disability Pride Month. I’ll be writing more about Disability Pride throughout. What does a photo of my omelette have to do with Disability Pride?, you ask.

A couple of months ago I was out with friends, and a woman came up to me to tell me she too has Ichthyosis and my book has helped her so much. I saw how nervous she was to say hello. We exchanged contact details then, and today we met up properly. We chatted non stop for two hours, over brunch – we both had omelettes.

Even though we have different types of Ichthyosis, we have a shared understanding of the difficulty of having a rare, severe skin condition. Of course we talked about our very similar experiences of living with Ichthyosis – especially how liberating it’s been to shake the shame around our skin. But we talked about so much more – we share a passion for live music.

My new friend is a few years older than me. She and I both attended the same hospital when we were children, and we were surprised our paths never crossed. Even though it was pre-internet, we wished our medical team could have connected us, like the connections I make with adults with ichthyosis and parents of kids with ichthyosis both online and through the hospital today. It would have been so incredible to have a friend with Ichthyosis as a child, to feel less alone.

For me, Disability Pride is connection, culture and identity. It’s so very important to connect with other people who have the same rare diagnosis, as well as with other disabled people with different diagnoses. It’s been life changing for me – to share common experiences of ableism, shame, treatment and happiness. And it’s an utter privilege to hear people tell me that my words have helped them feel more confident and less alone.

I’m so lucky that Ichthyosis, and identifying as disabled, has connected me with other wonderful people who also have Ichthyosis or other diagnoses – many of whom are now dear friends. What sets me apart from most people brings me connections and opportunities; and for that I’m grateful.

The Dan Daw Show at RISING Melbourne

Image: Carly and Dan, both wearing black, near a wall that’s lit up purple . Carly is a woman with a red face, short dark curly hair tied back, wearing an enchanted forest printed black cape, and Dan is a white man with a shaved head and beard, wearing a black shiny jacket over a black tee. They’re smiling. The purple light gives them a purple tinge.

Gifted post:

Last night I saw The Dan Daw Show at The Meat Market – it’s a show in RISING.

It’s a dance work, putting a disabled body on show. We see Dan Daw celebrate his body and sexuality through sexy play, subvert power structures, show sexual and disability pride, and shake shame, in partnership with Chris Owen. It’s consensually inviting the audience’s gaze, when so often, disabled bodies are exploited for the public and medical gaze.

At the start of the show, Dan says “this is exactly how I want you to see me”; and at the end he says “I feel sexy, and I am not sorry”. These words, and seeing Dan so comfortable in his body is powerful. Disabled and non disabled people need to see this show.

Accessibility was also provided in many forms – many content warnings (including “sexy disabled people”) in written, verbal and symbol format, a visual story, some audio description in the dialogue, ear plugs and noise cancelling headphones, a range of seating options – wheelchair spaces, the seating bank, beanbags and floor cushions, captions as part of the set, permission given to leave the theatre or walk around the theatre if needed, and a few other things. So much care was taken to ensure the audience was comfortable, and to reassure us that Dan consented to everything that happened in the show.

It’s on from Friday 16 June – Sunday 18 June – go see it if you can.

I was given tickets to opening night of The Dan Daw show through my work in the arts.

The Dan Daw Show details are on the RISING website.

Visit Dan Daw’s website for more info about him.

Follow Dan on Instagram and Facebook.

Talking on KICPOD with Laura Henshaw and Steph Claire Smith

A couple of weeks ago I chatted to Steph Claire Smith and Laura Henshaw on KICPOD. The podcast has just dropped!

Steph and Laura are incredibly successful and accomplished women and have a huge reach – so it was a real honour to chat with them. They are LOVELY – and had done a lot of prep for our convo!

The chat was pretty serious – we talk about bullying, self acceptance, the harm social media filters do; but we did have a few laughs too. Content warning for bullying, disability hate speech, body dysmorphia, eating disorders and ableism.

 

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You can find the full episode where you get your podcasts from, including at this link.

I hope you get a lot out of listening to it.

Thanks for having me, Steph, Claire and Mandy.

Images: 1. A full length photo of Steph, Carly and Laura in a recording studio. 2. A selfie of Steph, Claire and Laura. They’re smiling widely in both.

A call to disability allies

In April I spoke at the Being Seen on Screen conference hosted by ACMI in partnership with the Geena Davis Institute.

Here’s me calling for better allyship in the arts, because so many fail to include disability in their diversity initiatives. Don’t forget about disabled people when you’re thinking about and talking about diversity.

Big shoutouts to my incredible co-panelists Amy Marks, Milo Harthill and Taryn Brumfitt and to the individuals and orgs I mentioned – Caroline Bowditch , Chloe Hayden, Em Rusciano, Arts Access Victoria and Melbourne Fringe (my part time job) who have created great resources to help you create access and inclusion. The whole panel discussion can be viewed on YouTube.

You can read my whole speech here.

Send me a message if you’d like to book me to speak on topics like these (and more!) at your event or workplace.

Video: a woman with a red face, short dark curly hair tied back, wearing a dark pink coat over a colourful floral dress, talking on stage. She’s holding her phone, gesturing. The background is black, there are white captions on the video.

My chat on the Wilosophy podcast

This was a flashback – four years ago I did Wil Anderson’s Wilosophy podcast.

Image: An illustration of a woman with a red face and short dark curly hair, smiling. Below her is the text “it’s not up to tell you how not to be a dick” – that’s my philosophy!

Wil and I had a great chat about how comedians can do better in reducing ableism, the difficulty of calling things out, the process of writing Say Hello, and my fandom – including Shane Warne. I also talked about my philosophy – on the second pic  I laughed a lot. 

I was also really impressed with how much prep went into this podcast – producer Mike was excellent on the emails and Wil was respectful of my wishes too. I really hope this chat is useful for comedians at all stages of their career.

You can listen to the pod here.

Image: Two people, standing in front of a black wall. One is a white man, crouching down, the other is a red woman standing tall. They’re both smiling.