Carly Findlay's Blog, page 12

It’s ok if all you did this year is survive.

I’ve just posted my highlights of 2023, and I’m very aware of my privilege. For many people, their 2023 was a really difficult year.

It’s ok if all you did this year is survive.

It’s ok if your highlight reel comprised of seeing a beautiful sunset and enjoying a cup of tea, rather than grand statements of achievements.

To everyone struggling right now – I see you. So many people I know are doing it tough, with disabling barriers and bodies and minds, the impacts of Covid, the cost of living crisis, housing and job insecurity, racism, transphobia, abusive behaviour from others, grief and loss (and more); plus the sheer fatigue, worry and uncertainty of living through the last almost four years of a global pandemic. It’s exhausting.

As the violent conflicts in the Middle East and Sudan continue, and the division the conflicts are creating through the world, I wish for peace, for the violence to end and for safety and a chance to rebuild. The loss of lives, homes and history is devastating, and to what end?

I hope you can celebrate the small wins and rest for what’s left of 2023; and I hope your 2024 is brighter,happier, easier and safer. I am hopeful.

Much love.

Image: a small bouquet of colourful flowers in a jar. Black text on purple background reads “It’s ok if all you did this year is survive.” in the top right, and “@CarlyFindlay” in the bottom left.

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Highlights of 2023

This year has been huge! Mostly great, but of course, there have been some hard times, too. Thank you to everyone who has been a part of making the year amazing – there were many pinch me moments Here are some of my highlights of 2023:

Fun with Adam (he’s smiling!).

Seeing Darren Hayes play in Melbourne & Sydney & meeting him.

Being nominated for the Marie Claire Australia Women of the Year awards in the Changemaker category – the nomination and being in the room with incredible women was a win for me!

A working holiday with my Mum to the Sunshine Coast thanks to Visit Queensland.

Participating in brilliant events – in the audience and as a speaker; and getting to meet people I admire. Highlights were watching the Afro Literary Festival featuring Maxine Beneba Clarke, Denise Chapman, Cath Moore and Guido Melo; speaking at Cairns Tropical Writers’ Festival – a discussion with Dr Dinesh Palipana and meeting and hearing Grace Tame speak; speaking at ACMI’s Being Seen on Screen conference with Taryn Brumfitt (Body Image Movement) and Milo Harthill and Amy Marks and meeting Geena Davis (later writing a post for Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media for Face Equality International’s Face Equality Week).

Writing for The Wheeler Centre for Books, Writing and Ideas Metro Tunnel Art project’s Above and Beyond exhibition in Swanston Street – with Alice Pung, Bruce Pascoe, Claire G Coleman, Jennifer Downs and Nevo Zisin, & artwork by Enoki.

Working with LEGO; being a sensitivity reader for Pia Miranda’s memoir Finding My Bella Vita (and becoming friends with Pia); being in Melbourne Fashion Festival with Peta Hooke for the EveryBODY is Beautiful flash mob, and talking about dopamine dressing with Fran Arcuri and Lauren DiBartolo (thanks to Sai-Wai Foo); writing a feature for Peppermint Magazine and having Nordacious do the art; and collabs with BONDS & Birdsnest collabs.

My part time job – Melbourne Fringe – Swing; organising a Radical Access hybrid event with State Library of Victoria feat Artemis Munoz, Andy Jackson, Asphyxia, Alice Wong, Fayen d’Evie, Melinda Smith & Alistair Baldwin; & the school formal with Renay Barker-Mulholland – First Nations Feminist.

Brilliant disability art – Leisa Prowd’s I Am Not This Body; Sarah the Firth Creative Services’ book launch; Dan Daw at RISING; Eliza Hull at Melbourne Recital Centre; Alexandra Buchanan in Betsy & I at Undercover Artist & Derelict in an Uncharted Space.

My friends

Images are collages of highlights, in order above.

Note: some of the images l’ve included are of activities that were previously paid partnerships or gifted social media posts – they are: Bonds, BirdsNest, Queensland, LEGO and Undercover Artist Festival. Some tickets I got as part of my work in the arts.

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Thoughts on being featured on Getty Images

Getty Images details: “SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – NOVEMBER 21: Carly Findlay attends the Marie Claire Women of the Year Awards 2023 at Museum of Contemporary Art on November 21, 2023 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Brendon Thorne/Getty Images)”

2023 was the year i started to get featured on Getty Images.

I don’t write this out of vanity, I write this because I believe it’s important that disabled people are featured everywhere – in ordinary and extraordinary ways,  where we are in control of our stories. No inspiration porn, limited medical details and settings, and showcasing the diversity of disability. 

Before social media, and even now to an extent, when people googled Ichthyosis,, they often found medicalised images, frightening stories and dehumanised headlines. This isn’t helpful to families who have a new baby diagnosed with Ichthyosis, or for teens and adults with Ichthyosis who want to find others with the condition. I am proud to be one of the many people changing that. When someone googles ichthyosis now, they’ll find me and a number of other adults and young people, living with ichthyosis – thriving with it even.

 So if my photos on Getty Images helps reduce the stigma around ichthyosis by showing me in non medical settings, enjoying life, succeeding and being invited to and included in mainstream events, then that’s great.

Thank you photographers. You can view my photos on Getty here.

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA – MARCH 09: Carly FIndlay (R) attends opening night of & Juliet at the Regent Theatre on March 09, 2023 in Melbourne, Australia. (Photo by Mackenzie Sweetnam/Getty Images for & Juliet Australia)MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA – MAY 24: OAM Carly Findlay attends opening night of “The Rocky Horror Show” 50th Anniversary Tour at the Athenaeum Theatre Melbourne on May 24, 2023 in Melbourne, Australia. (Photo by Sam Tabone/WireImage)

images: 1. Carly, a woman with a red face a short dark curly hair, wearing a long pouffy purple dress, on the Marie Claire Women of the Year Awards black carpet. 2. A close up photo of Carly and Danielle Binks, on the &Juliet red carpet. 3. Carly, wearing a green sequin dress, on a red carpet for Rocky Horror Picture Show. (I was given free tickets to both &Juliet and Rocky Horror.)

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2023 fashion roundup

This year I’ve had such fun with fashion! I’ve played with layers, reached for clothes I hadn’t worn for a while, created three costumes, entered my power suit era, matched my accessories to what I’m doing, had things professionally tailored, and dressed up more fancy.

It was hard narrowing these down to 10 photos, so I’ve made collages of outfits from each month. Here are my fave outfits of this year – the ones that made me feel fucking fabulous.

The last four are my ultimates!

the Aje dress that I wore to Marie Claire’s Woman of the Year Awards was so opulent, and I enjoyed adding pops of colour with accessories.I saw the yellow tartan suit in Valley Girl at the start of the year – I’d been longing for a Clueless outfit to wear on Halloween. I wore it skating – so fun!When I was told a koala cuddle was booked in for my working holiday to the Sunshine Coast, I knew the Romance was Born x May Gibbs dress would be the perfect dress for the occasion.I wore the dreamy Sheike pink floral dress with gold boots to a musical in March – I felt so glam. It’s meant to be a midi dress but it’s a maxi on me.

Note: while I bought the majority of what I’m wearing here, some of these items were gifted – Therapy Shoes hot pink boots – which have been the biggest talking point of my outfits lately; neon bird top from @allycatartshop; purple check suit from PWR the Label; blue and pink dress from BONDS; blue and purple handbag from Ashlee Lauren; cupcake brooch from Parksy Pop Designs : and the koala cuddle was a part of a work trip to Australia Zoo thanks to Visit Queensland, Australia).

Images: 1-5 colleagues of mine photos of Carly, a woman with a red face and short dark curly hair, wearing different outfits. 6. A collage of six photos of Carly, wearing different outfits. 7. Carly in a voluminous purple dress. 8. Carly wearing a yellow and black tartan suit, and skates, pads and helmet. 8. Carly wearing an Australiana print dress, cuddling a koala. 10. Carly wearing a long pink floral dress and gold boots, standing on the street, swishing her dress.

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2023 reading roundup

I haven’t kept count of the number of books I’ve read (or bought) this year – I suspect it’s over 50. Here were my faves – I read them all as audiobooks.

Home by Penny Parkes. A story of running from a settled life, after a childhood of foster care. It was one of the first books I read this year, and I still think of Anna and wonder how she is. Audiobook here.

Yellowface by Rebecca F Kuang. A real insight into who owns ideas, racism in the publishing industry and cultural and literary appropriation. I read it when it first came out and said to my writing agent Danielle Binks that I felt it was quite niche in terms of book publishing content, and wasn’t sure if those outside the industry would appreciate it. Seems it’s done well to reach a wide audience. Audiobook here.

The One and Only Dolly Jamieson by Lisa Ireland. A book about homelessness, kindness, friendship and dignity. Dolly is another character I can’t stop thinking about. Audiobook here.

The Last Love Note by Emma Grey. I devoured this – laughing and crying throughout. It’s a book about grief, and also love. It’s so brilliant to see the success Emma has had, both here and in America. Audiobook here.

Found in a Bookshop by Stephanie Butland. A book about community and the power of books during Covid lockdowns. It was gentle and reminded me of the slower pace and community spirit of 2020-21. Audiobook here.

Lifeboat – Disability, humanity and the NDIS by Micheline Lee. This Quarterly Essay was brilliant – an insight into the hopes for and failure of the NDIS. I wrote a response to it , which is in the current Quarterly Essay. Audiobook here– it’s free!

This Has Been Absolutely Lovely by Jessica Dettmann. An easy read about family and the mental load of women. This got me reading another of Jessica’s books immediately after. Audiobook here.

Parkland – Birth of a Movement by David Cullen. This explores the rise of young activists against gun violence immediately after the Parkland high school shooting in 2018. It was interesting to read about their sudden fame, them being used as political footballs, the pressures within the group, and how much these young people achieved. Unlike Columbine, also written by Dave Cullen, this book doesn’t mention the shooter’s name, it centres the young activist and survivors. Audiobook here.

Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan. Told from multiple perspectives, this book is about transgender rights & violence. It explains the complexity of gender in both powerful and simple ways. And there’s recipes. It was so enriching. I love that Jennifer manifested co writing this book with Jodi – after she had a dream and then tweeted it. Audiobook here.

I’ve linked to paper books and audiobooks here. You can also borrow and request them at your local library – it supports the authors just as much as buying books.

Image: a collage of nine book covers, listed above.

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Allies, where were you on International Day of People with Disability?

International Day of People with Disability was on 3 December. But it was the quietest Disability Day I’ve ever seen, since I’ve been an activist, It’s been a topic of discussion between me and other disabled friends for the last week or so. 

Where were the brands? 

Where were the businesses? (Especially those businesses who’ve had some disability awareness or disability cultural safety training?)

Where were the influencers and podcasters – especially those committed to using their platforms to raise awareness of diverse people? 

Where were the people who campaigned for The Voice to Parliament?

Where were the people who celebrate LGBTIQA+ pride?

Where were the people who are advocating for Palestine? (War is a mass disabling event.)

Where were the media outlets?

Where were the newly diagnosed Neurodivergent white women? (Neurodivergency falls under the Disability umbrella.)

Where were the people who constantly tell me what good allies they are, and get defensive when their ableism and inaccessibility is pointed out?

Where were the allies from other marginalised communities?

There was barely a whisper. It was as though we don’t exist.

Disabled people show up for many causes and communities, and few show up for us.

Some people said they didn’t even know there was a UN sanctioned day to recognise Disabled people and disability rights. (There has been since 1992.)

Disabled people have always existed.  

And now, we are louder, prouder and more visible than ever.

The lack of widespread recognition of Disability Day shows how most people don’t seem to have disabled friends, or ever think about accessibility, ableism, discrimination or representation.  

I don’t want to hear that you feel bad for not doing  anything, or that you didn’t know it was happening. (Disabled people produced a load of content about it – not just on 3 December but regularly.)

I want to see true allyship, and as Robyn Lambird said, I want to see Disability Pride celebrated like LGBITQA + Pride.

Where were you on 3 December? 

Where were you on the launch of the Disability Royal Commission final report which detailed horrific abuse in September? 

Where are you when serious disability issues make the news; and when disability excellence is to be celebrated?

Where are you year round with your allyship for Disabled people?

Where were you?

Thank you to the few allies who amplified disabled people, who booked us for work, and who do show up year round. And thank you to Disabled people for your endless work and visibility. You’re appreciated.

I haven’t got this out sooner, due to busyness and exhaustion at the reality of the silence, but also because speaking up opens myself up to trolling. No doubt this post will reinforce my reputation as entitled, difficult, a complainer, too angry, shaming people, etc. But I’m not going to be quiet about this. I’m not going to pretend I didn’t feel deeply hurt and disappointed, even though I predicted this. 

And I’m using a pic of me in my undies, because I know it gets your attention.  (Bra kindly gifted from Bonds.)

image: Carly, a woman with red skin and short dark curly hair, wearing a lilac bra and black undies. She’s in a friend’s living room, smiling. A lilac speech bubble has the text “Where were you on Disability Day?” in it.

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Being joyous in my Bonds (gifted post)

Gifted post:

It’s Disability Day!

Something I’ve been trying to do more of is show more of my body publicly.

Not just because it’s hot () but to shift away from medicalised photography, and to be more visible. You always see my face, but I cover up my body due to temperature regulation difficulty and pain.

I want people with ichthyosis and disabled people (and their families) to feel seen and less alone. I want to show them they don’t have to hide. I want doctors to see just what rare patients are doing, because sometimes it feels like we are worst case scenarios. But we are existing, living happy, prideful and thriving lives. I want to show that I’m not ashamed to be seen. I want to show that I experience disabled joy, and that I love my body.

I’ve been wearing Bonds for as long as I can remember. Most days I wear Bonds underwear or leggings. It’s so comfy. So I was thrilled when they sent me some of their colourful Comfy range – I loved this fun shoot with @pearly.sprinkles.

Bonds is a great ally – with excellent representation of diversity, and great accessibility (the image descriptions on their post featuring me are far better than mine – I am tired!).

Disclaimer: @bondsaus sent me a selection of underwear and loungewear – I was not paid for this post.

Images: a series of Carly, a woman with Ichthyosis – scaly red skin, wearing underwear and loungewear, being joyous.

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Big Visions books by Vision Australia – Craig Shanahan and Nikki Hind

It’s Disability Day! 

I always get asked about books on disability for kids!  So here are a couple.

These books are so cool – two of the Big Visions books created by Vision Australia. Big Visions books are biographies about people who are Blind or have low vision, and are written for children. The print is in English and Braille.  

I bought Craig Shanahan – Cooking up a Storm and Nikki Hind – Dressed for Success. I love the way their stories are told through words and beautiful illustrations. These books can be read by Blind and sighted people. 

Craig’s blurb: “Craig Shanahan always dreamed of being a chef. But after two operations on his eyes, he was almost completely blind. Craig didn’t let that stop him from following his dreams. Now, Craig is the owner of his own café. Discover how being vision impaired has made Craig an inspiring role model for all Australia.”

Nikki’s blurb: “Meet Nikki Hind, the blind fashion designer with her own fashion label – Blind Grit. Nikki had always dreamed of becoming a fashion designer. When she was growing up, Nikki couldn’t see out of her left eye and later in life a stroke took away almost all of her vision. Nikki didn’t let that stop her. Now, she is the proud owner of Blind Grit, her own fashion label that employs people with disabilities and challenges.”

I know Craig and Nikki – it’s wonderful to see their stories told in books. They’ll be role models for so many.  

(There are three books in the series so far – the other book is about Matt Formston, it’s called Surfing in the Dark.)

From Vision Australia’s website: 

You can purchase Big Visions books from Vision Australia – they’d make a great addition to school libraries, and Christmas gifts for all kids! 

“… written by Vision Australia, all with successful Australian’s living with blindness or low vision at their heart. Giving Australia three new role models who are determined, resilient, successful and blind. True stories to empower new perspectives of what is possible to build true inclusivity through belief.”

There are some more #DisabilityReads recommendations if you scroll back through my Instagram and blog posts. 

Images: 1. two kids books – Craig Shanahan – Cooking up a Storm and Nikki Hind – Dressed for Success. 2-7. Colourful illustrations of Craig and Nikki’s work, black text & braille on the pages.

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Making accessible social media content

How to make your social media content more accessible 

Fifteen percent of the world’s population is Disabled – probably more considering many Disabled people don’t disclose or aren’t diagnosed. So your social media followers will comprise Disabled people! Please make your content accessible – it brings more views, and is a great business decision. Accessible content shows Disabled people we are welcome.

Here are some quick, easy and affordable ways to make your content accessible:

Image and video descriptions: in the caption of your post, describe what’s happening in the image, state what’s in the photo with as much detail as possible, copy and paste any text from the image. Caption your videos: put captions on your videos. You can use the inbuilt captions on Instagram and Facebook (and other social platforms) , or use a caption app. I use Mix Captions – it’s really easy to do once you’ve made a video. Make sure your captions are spelled correctly, and are in readable positions and colours (not blocked by the social media platform’s text; and light text on dark background, dark text on light background). And while I was captioning a video, the app told me “83% of viewers watch with sound off on social media” – so captions dont only benefit Deaf and Disabled people.  Content warnings: to alert users what the post contains. Content warnings can include death, suicide, violence, war, blood, ableism etc; and also for flashing lights, loud noise, flashing lights, bright colours and other visual and sonic features of the post.Good colour contrast:  the difference in brightness between foreground and background colours. Bright text on bright backgrounds can be hard to see, as can pale text on pale backgrounds, and dark text on dark backgrounds. Light text on dark backgrounds, and dark text on light backgrounds work the best for readability.  Check out https://colourcontrast.cc to see if the colours you want to use are accessible. 

Accessible communication is a human right – see Article 9 of the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities.

Please make your content accessible – especially if you’re a brand, media outlet or organisation. Disabled people shouldn’t have to ask for accessibility.

Make access provision a step in your content creation: 

Take the photo/make the video Write the accompanying textWrite the image/video description, content warning, caption the video, check the contrast  Create the post in the social media app/blog – double check it for accessibility and accuracyPost it! 

There are instructions to making content accessible via my LinkTree.   

If this post has helped you, please consider buying me a drink. Thanks!

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Nine books by Disabled writers

It’s Disability Day!

Here is my annual book stack to celebrate Disabled writers! This stack features memoir, middle grade fiction, a handbook and graphic novels.

Go find these at your bookstore or library. Some are available in multiple accessible formats – paperback/hardcover, ebook and audio. Most of the authors are tagged on Instagram, too – so give them a follow!

My Friend Fox – Heidi Everett
Year of the Tiger – Alice Wong
The Future is Disabled: Prophecies, Love Notes and Mourning Songs – Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
Mooncakes – Wendy Xu and Suzanne Walker
Falling for Myself: A Memoir – Dorothy Ellen Palmer
The Secret of Haven Point – Lisette Auton
Sipping Dom Pérignon Through A Straw – Eddie Ndopu
Disability Rights in Real Life – Equality Lawyers (this is free!)
Eventually Everything Connects: Eight Essays on Uncertainty – Sarah Firth

(These link to paperback/hardcover editions sold by Australian retailers and publishers – google the titles for details of books and accessible formats in your country.)

These are just a few books I’m sharing today – scroll through my old posts for lots more!

Book week kids | book week adults | school library | my shelf | | 2022| 2021 | 2020

Image: Carly holding a stack of books, titles as above. She’s smiling, standing near a bookshelf.

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