Tina Hallis's Blog, page 28

Changing Other People: Three Ways We Can Influence Others to Be More Positive

We often hear how we can’t change other people; we can only change ourselves.  Then, today, I was reading an article by Michelle Gielan (who works with husband and fellow positive-psychology researcher, Shawn Achor) about how we actually CAN make other people more positive.  Of course, I had to learn more!  Here’s three ways we can influence other people.

1.  Use our body language and facial expression – Michelle cites a study where three strangers are in a room together in silence for two minutes.  Researchers tested their moods before and after the experiment. Repeatedly, the person who was the most nonverbally expressive of their mood, good or bad, influenced the mood of the other two people in the room. This made sense based on what I’ve learned about emotional contagion.

2.  Shift discussions from problems to solutions – She also mentions how we can influence others by shifting conversations from being problem-focused to discussing solutions to those problems. In one study, half of the participants were given an article about a problem, and the other half read an article that talked about that same problem, plus five potential solutions. The group that was also given solutions experienced a 20 percent increase in creative problem-solving on subsequent, unrelated tasks, and their moods improved.

3.  Start conversations with a positive tone – This is my favorite!  Michelle studies how words impact our mood and has found that the words we use to start a conversation impact the direction it will take. If we take the initiative to speak first and say something positive, (in the hallway at work, on the phone with our sibling, when our kid gets home from school, when we get home from work….) it sets the tone and points the discussion in an upbeat direction.  She calls this the “power lead.”

Think about the people and situations in your life where these strategies could be useful.  Where could you try one of these this week?

 

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Tina Hallis, Ph.D. is   Chief Positivity Officer of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping people and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures. She is certified in Positive Psychology, an authorized partner for Everything DiSC®, and a Professional Member of the National Speaker’s Association

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Balancing Our Energies: Thinking about our four different types

To be honest, when I’ve thought about trying to find balance in my life, I’ve pretty much focused on dividing up my time.  I’ve felt like I need more time to spend on my health, with my daughter and husband, taking care of finances, etc.  After reading Tony Schwartz’s book, The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working, I now have a whole new perspective on the role that our energy plays. 

This week, I wanted to continue the discussion on “Life Balancing” (vs work-life balance).  As I mentioned two weeks ago, Schwartz talks about the four different kinds of energy we need to consider – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. I’d never heard of energy broken into these categories before, but his explanation made sense.  I can certainly remember situations where I had taken time to spend with my family but I wasn’t in the best mood (emotional energy), or I was thinking about work (mental energy), or I wasn’t focused on how much I appreciated them (spiritual energy).  

I was intrigued to hear Schwartz describe balance as the rhythmic movement between the high and low versions of each energy type.  The examples in parentheses are not set but there to give you ideas.

Physical – moving between active energizing (playing, exercising, lean proteins) and resting (vacations, taking breaks, sleeping) 
Emotional – moving between high performance (engaged, challenged, optimistic) and renewal (carefree, mellow, receptive)
Mental – moving between a targeted focus (analytical, task-oriented, logical) and a wide focus (imaginative, intuitive, open-ended)
Spiritual – moving between reflecting on our values (patience, appreciation, gratitude) and expressing those values in our actions (being more patient, appreciative, and grateful).

Think about your the current state of each area of your life, and consider the information you captured in the worksheet from the tip two weeks ago.  How could you use the ideas above for better balancing?

 

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Tina Hallis, Ph.D. is   Chief Positivity Officer of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping people and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures. She is certified in Positive Psychology, an authorized partner for Everything DiSC®, and a Professional Member of the National Speaker’s Association

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4 Ways to Practice Positivity at Work: Guest blog from Happy Brain Science

You hear a lot about happiness, and some of what you hear (money, fame, good looks) actually makes very little difference in happiness for most of us. But the data suggests that positive attitude really does boost well-being.

You might choose to practice positivity at work in these ways:

1.  Write down your Best Possible Future at work, looking about three years ahead. This nurtures optimism, which boosts your mood, and that improves brain function, making your best possible future more likely to come true. We do this every year at Happy Brain Science and we love doing it. It’s also interesting to see how our best possible future changes over the years. Some years we get remarkably close to achieving our best possible futures, and I think writing them down is a helpful factor in that success.

2.  Savor good moments. You are wired with what scientists call a “negativity bias”. Unpleasant events carry more weight, get more emphasis from our brains. The exact ratio is still to be determined, but evidence suggests it takes many positive events to outweigh a negative one. Overcome this natural wiring in order to be happier. Truly stop, be present, and savor good moments when they happen. You might savor countless things. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Taste and appreciate your morning coffee.
Make eye contact and smile at a colleague.
Notice how talented your peers are.
Cherish the results you produce.
Really taste the food you eat at work.
Appreciate a good work challenge when you get one.

3.  Spot strengths in others. As an executive coach, I’m trained to listen to people’s energy as they talk. If a client starts talking higher and faster, it indicates rising energy. That means that client is likely describing an activity that uses her strengths–where her performance is high and the work is energizing. If that same client starts talking more slowly and in a lower pitched voice, it may indicate an aspect of work that drains her of energy.

You don’t have to be an executive coach to spot a colleague’s strengths. Watch: when does my colleague perform best or near her best, consistently? What gets her excited? What seems to fill her with energy? Tell your colleagues about the strengths you see.

Survey data shows that most of us are highly motivated by recognition, and that we don’t get enough of it. Having your strengths recognized is one of the most personal and uplifting forms of recognition.

4.  Start meetings with recognitions. Start a regular meeting with a few minutes of recognitions, where anyone can express gratitude or kudos to someone else. This is important because recognitions create positive emotions.

The problem in a typical meeting is that negative comments outweigh positive comments. Because we have the “negativity bias”, described above, it takes several positive comments to balance out a negative one.

Starting a meeting with genuine, specific praise creates a high ratio of positive to negative comments. This leads to happier brains doing better, more creative work.

We aren’t wired to focus on the positive. Our “negativity bias” means we tend to pay more attention to what’s wrong than what’s right. But practicing positivity can overcome this natural bias, leaving us happier, more creative, and more resilient as a result.

If you would like more on practicing positivity, please check out our online course.

Scott Crabtree is the Founder and Chief Happiness Officer at Happy Brain Science, He empowers individuals and organizations to apply findings from cutting-edge neuroscience and psychology to boost productivity and happiness at work.

 

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Tina Hallis, Ph.D. is   Chief Positivity Officer of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping people and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures. She is certified in Positive Psychology, an authorized partner for Everything DiSC®, and a Professional Member of the National Speaker’s Association

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Balancing Life – It’s all about time and energy in the now

How can we keep balancing the many aspects of our life under constantly changing conditions? One key is to be aware of the current situation and realize that some areas may require more time and energy while others may be able to get by with less, at least temporarily.

I think of examples in my life like when I’ve had a work deadline that required extra time for a week or even more.  Or summer vacation when my daughter’s home from school and my schedule is totally different.  I think about major shifts like a friend who’s life has been turned upside down because a close member family was recently diagnosed with a devastating illness.  It’s taking a huge amount of her time and energy so she’s been spending less on her work and her own health.  Even though some areas can get by with less attention for awhile, it’s important we don’t neglect them too long or they can turn into a crisis that makes things even worse. 

What can we do? 

It’s easy to see that time is a set quantity.  It’s an external component that we can’t control.  If we identify an area that needs more of our time, a few options are:

Asking for help – Maybe help with our family or work
Delegating – Totally handing pieces off to someone else like a project or task
Limiting time – Identifying parts of our life where we can cut back or maybe even put some piece on hold for awhile

Energy is a whole different story.  Energy is an internal component we can take steps to maximize.  Tony Schwartz talks about the four different kinds of energy we need to balance in his book, The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working. They are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy.  I’ll go into these more in next week’s tip.

In the meantime, feel free to download this worksheet to help you reflect on the current status of your life balance.

 

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Tina Hallis, Ph.D. is   Chief Positivity Officer of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping people and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures. She is certified in Positive Psychology, an authorized partner for Everything DiSC®, and a Professional Member of the National Speaker’s Association

The post Balancing Life – It’s all about time and energy in the now appeared first on The Positive Edge.

Balancing Life It’s all about time and energy in the now

How can we keep balancing the many aspects of our life under constantly changing conditions? One key is to be aware of the current situation and realize that some areas may require more time and energy while others may be able to get by with less, at least temporarily.

I think of examples in my life like when I’ve had a work deadline that required extra time for a week or even more.  Or summer vacation when my daughter’s home from school and my schedule is totally different.  I think about major shifts like a friend who’s life has been turned upside down because a close member family was recently diagnosed with a devastating illness.  It’s taking a huge amount of her time and energy so she’s been spending less on her work and her own health.  Even though some areas can get by with less attention for awhile, it’s important we don’t neglect them too long or they can turn into a crisis that makes things even worse. 

What can we do? 

It’s easy to see that time is a set quantity.  It’s an external component that we can’t control.  If we identify an area that needs more of our time, a few options are:

Asking for help – Maybe help with our family or work
Delegating – Totally handing pieces off to someone else like a project or task
Limiting time – Identifying parts of our life where we can cut back or maybe even put some piece on hold for awhile

Energy is a whole different story.  Energy is an internal component we can take steps to maximize.  Tony Schwartz talks about the four different kinds of energy we need to balance in his book, The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working. They are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy.  I’ll go into these more in next week’s tip.

In the meantime, feel free to download this worksheet to help you reflect on the current status of your life balance.

 

To get more Positivity Tips like this delivered to your inbox, sign up here.

 

Tina Hallis, Ph.D. is   Chief Positivity Officer of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping people and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures. She is certified in Positive Psychology, an authorized partner for Everything DiSC®, and a Professional Member of the National Speaker’s Association

The post Balancing Life It’s all about time and energy in the now appeared first on The Positive Edge.

Understanding Work-Life Balance: 3 Myths

The term, work/life balance, is incredibly misleading.  It sounds so simple.  After all, there are only two things to balance.  How hard can that be? But from experience, we know there has to be more to it because it’s not easy. Here are three myths that this phrase implies.  Understanding these myths has been incredibly helpful for me in my efforts towards finding life balance, so I wanted to share.

Myth 1:  Once we know the secret recipe, we’ll have work/life balance mastered.  It’s a “thing” we need to figure out, and once we do, we’re set.  Life is good.

In reality, this balance is not a noun, but an action requiring constant adjustment depending on what’s happening in our lives at that moment. It’s not something we figure out once because life situations and demands on our time are continually changing

Myth 2:  It’s all about balancing our time.  We just need to figure out how to spend the right amount of time focused on work and the right amount of time focused on life.

   

The truth is that to achieve our highest quality life, we need to balance more than just our time.  We also need to consider how to balance our energy, including our physical, mental, and emotional energy.  Words that come to mind include effort, attention, and mood.  It’s not just what’ we’re doing, but how we’re being (engaged, attentive, enthused, patient, etc.)

Myth 3:  There are only two things we need to balance; work and life.

   

Wouldn’t that be nice!!  But as we all know, life is a word that encompasses many things.  A few are family, financial, social, health, community, spiritual, etc.  Each part of our life fluctuates in its needs so the amount of time and energy required to keep it at its best changes, too.

My goal in sharing these myths is not to overwhelm you but to hopefully shed some light on why so many of us struggle with work/life balance and how we need to change our approach.  

Next week’s tip will dig into how we can use these concepts to get a better handle on the art of positively balancing our lives.

 

To get more Positivity Tips like this delivered to your inbox, sign up here.

 

Tina Hallis, Ph.D. is   Chief Positivity Officer of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping people and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures. She is certified in Positive Psychology, an authorized partner for Everything DiSC®, and a Professional Member of the National Speaker’s Association

The post Understanding Work-Life Balance: 3 Myths appeared first on The Positive Edge.

Understanding Work-Life Balance 3 Myths

The term, work/life balance, is incredibly misleading.  It sounds so simple.  After all, there are only two things to balance.  How hard can that be? But from experience, we know there has to be more to it because it’s not easy. Here are three myths that this phrase implies.  Understanding these myths has been incredibly helpful for me in my efforts towards finding life balance, so I wanted to share.

Myth 1:  Once we know the secret recipe, we’ll have work/life balance mastered.  It’s a “thing” we need to figure out, and once we do, we’re set.  Life is good.

In reality, this balance is not a noun, but an action requiring constant adjustment depending on what’s happening in our lives at that moment. It’s not something we figure out once because life situations and demands on our time are continually changing

Myth 2:  It’s all about balancing our time.  We just need to figure out how to spend the right amount of time focused on work and the right amount of time focused on life.

   

The truth is that to achieve our highest quality life, we need to balance more than just our time.  We also need to consider how to balance our energy, including our physical, mental, and emotional energy.  Words that come to mind include effort, attention, and mood.  It’s not just what’ we’re doing, but how we’re being (engaged, attentive, enthused, patient, etc.)

Myth 3:  There are only two things we need to balance; work and life.

   

Wouldn’t that be nice!!  But as we all know, life is a word that encompasses many things.  A few are family, financial, social, health, community, spiritual, etc.  Each part of our life fluctuates in its needs so the amount of time and energy required to keep it at its best changes, too.

My goal in sharing these myths is not to overwhelm you but to hopefully shed some light on why so many of us struggle with work/life balance and how we need to change our approach.  

Next week’s tip will dig into how we can use these concepts to get a better handle on the art of positively balancing our lives.

The post Understanding Work-Life Balance 3 Myths appeared first on The Positive Edge.

What kind of plant are you? Philosophical lessons from a garden

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying watching my garden grow this June. I was worried because it was so wet, and I wasn’t able to get the plants and seeds in until much later than usual. But now things are taking off! The tomato plants are getting tall and dark green with blossoms and a few tiny tomatoes.  The peppers look big and bushy, and the cabbage and broccoli have huge, beautiful leaves. The beans and spinach were very slow to get started, but they are finally growing, too.   

I get great joy in walking down to the garden every day to see what’s changed. It amazes me how a little sunshine, good soil, and some rain can produce loads of veggies from the tiniest of seeds.  I think of how it’s a wondrous miracle that’s easily taken for granted.

It also struck me how we’re all like the plants in the garden.

We have the ability to live a great life, but if we don’t get the stuff we need to help us grow and flourish, we’ll never achieve our full potential.  Some things that jump to my mind are our environment, our nutrition, our friends and family, our thoughts, etc.
We’re all different kinds of plants, with somewhat different needs to fully thrive. The best conditions for one might not be the best for another. We have to find the combination that works for us.
As different plants, we also produce different “fruit.”  That means we should be true to our abilities and strengths (our fruit) and not compare ourselves to others.  For example, if I’m a summer squash, I shouldn’t envy or try to be like the onion plant.

Are you creating a life that provides the things you need to flourish?  Are you appreciating and using your strengths and abilities (your fruit)?

 

 

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Tina Hallis, Ph.D. is Chief Positivity Officer of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping people and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures. She is certified in Positive Psychology, an authorized partner for Everything DiSC®, and a Professional Member of the National Speaker’s Association

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What’s Your Frog? Tackling that procrastination

I’ve been putting it off and putting it off.  I can always find something more interesting or more fun to do.  But I know I have to do it and the sooner the better.  It’s like a shadow lurking.  I don’t think about it that often, but it’s there. And when it does surface, I feel anxious, and a little frustrated with myself that I haven’t done it yet.  There’s never the perfect time.  I just have to do it!!  Then it will free up my mind and I’ll feel happier.

For me this “frog” is getting my bookkeeping caught up for my business — recording my expenses and invoices.  It wouldn’t be such an ugly obstacle if I’d stayed on top of it.  But I’ve been “busy.”  And it isn’t fun so I can easily put it off. The inspiration to make my paperwork this week’s tip has inspired me and has basically made me accountable. After all, I better make some progress if I’m going to share it. So today I’m working towards getting at least 30% of it done. I already feel better!

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” — Mark Twain

Thanks to Mark Twain, it’s common to refer to the task that we dislike as a frog and, thus the saying, “Eat the frog first.” What’s your frog? What “thing” do you need to do that you’re putting off because it may be stressful, irritating or just not fun? Stop procrastinating and get it done. Schedule it in your calendar, put a note on your mirror, ask a friend to hold you accountable, if possible, break it into smaller pieces, whatever works for you. You’ll feel so much better once it’s done, and you’ll feel better about yourself for getting it done.

 

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Tina Hallis, Ph.D. is   Chief Positivity Officer of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping people and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures. She is certified in Positive Psychology, an authorized partner for Everything DiSC®, and a Professional Member of the National Speaker’s Association

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Finding Your Flow: Activities that bring satisfaction and focus

Have you ever been so engrossed in a project that you lost track of time, forgot to eat, and didn’t feel tired?  Maybe you were playing your favorite instrument, working on a craft, fixing a tractor (my husband’s hobby), preparing a favorite dish, involved in a sport, etc.

I notice this happens when I’m creating slides for my next talk. Even if I’m tired when I start, I get energized and feel satisfied when I’m done. 

This state of being is called “Flow.”  During this time, we’re focused, fully absorbed in the activity so our minds are not distracted with worries or stresses. It’s like an active mindfulness meditation that keeps our mind centered and present on the current “task.”

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi spent much of his career studying flow and the impact it has on our wellbeing. In his book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience(1990), he says that happiness is not a fixed state but can be developed as we learn to achieve flow in our lives. 

Studies by Csikszentmihalyi and others have found that focusing on the present moment makes us happier. For example, a recent study from Harvard used an app on the phones of 2,250 adults that would chime at random times throughout the day.  The app would then ask how happy they were in that moment (on a scale from 1-100), what they were doing, and if they were thinking about what they were doing.  The results showed that 46.9% of the time people’s minds were wandering, and they tended to be less happy when they weren’t focused on what they were doing.

To help you find activities that may bring you flow, here are some common traits:

There are clear goals every step of the way.
There is immediate feedback to one’s actions.
There is a balance between challenges and skills.
Action and awareness are merged.
Distractions are excluded from consciousness.
There is no worry of failure.
Self-consciousness disappears.
The sense of time becomes distorted.
The activity becomes an end in itself.

What projects or activities put you in the zone where you’re in flow?  How can you add more of these in your days?

 

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Tina Hallis, Ph.D. is   Chief Positivity Officer of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping people and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures. She is certified in Positive Psychology, an authorized partner for Everything DiSC®, and a Professional Member of the National Speaker’s Association

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