L.A. Hider Jones's Blog
October 13, 2024
Bad Dating Life Turns into Book
No, this blog isn't about me complaining about the men I've dated. Because without them, this book would have never been, so I consider them a huge blessing in my life.
My story here is more about Lessons Learned. And in those lessons sprung forth my latest novel, "It Happened One Morning...".
During my -- ahem -- dating excursions a few years ago, I'd absorb everything from online relationship coaches because I wanted to know what in hell's bells I was doing wrong. Why I was always failing, because, after all, I am the common denominator. I wanted the key to that mysterious portal called The Secrets of Men--And How to Beat Them at Their Game. Or at least, be a better partner to them.
So I followed these relationship coaches on YouTube, Facebook, their websites, their books, podcasts, you name it.
Most of these "coaches", for lack of a better descriptor, are men. As a woman who enjoyed dating men, I gleaned the advice of these men who obviously knew how their gender ticked. As an only child who lost her beloved father at 17, I had to venture forth, on my own, with no support or real advice that could save me from one heartbreak after another. Everything was by rote. Feet to the fire and getting burned a lot, over and over again.
So, I thought these advisers knew much more than me. While they educated me on a lot of things I wish I had known from my 20s on, there was one critical component none of them could claim.
And that was they are men who never dated men, as women do.
Still, I soaked up everything they said, even keeping two filled notebooks of sage words of advice and warning. And then...a thought nagged me: How can they be the ultimate source of everything relationships, when they haven't experienced what I and millions of others experienced as women? Now, all these guys are straight, okay? So of course, they wouldn't date men.
But...what if some catastrophe happened where at least one of them turned into a woman overnight? What insight would he--now she--glean, short of recovering from gender-switch shock?
This is where my character, Boz Studebaker, comes in, and from there on, "It Happened One Morning..." almost wrote itself. A few of Boz/Bonnie's experiences are mine, but mostly they're the experiences of others.
The man-suddenly-becomes-a-woman-against-his-will is a common trope in movies. But I think this book is different. Boz has to change not out of Godly revenge (doesn't happen in this book, btw), but to be better: a better man, a better advisor, and a much more enlightened human being. And, what happens to him also exerted a positive, life-changing effect on those closest to him.
When I typed "The End", I broke down and cried. I didn't want the journey, the adventure of living these characters' lives, to end. But now, I'm passing on the fun and the thrill to you, my readers.
Enjoy.
My story here is more about Lessons Learned. And in those lessons sprung forth my latest novel, "It Happened One Morning...".
During my -- ahem -- dating excursions a few years ago, I'd absorb everything from online relationship coaches because I wanted to know what in hell's bells I was doing wrong. Why I was always failing, because, after all, I am the common denominator. I wanted the key to that mysterious portal called The Secrets of Men--And How to Beat Them at Their Game. Or at least, be a better partner to them.
So I followed these relationship coaches on YouTube, Facebook, their websites, their books, podcasts, you name it.
Most of these "coaches", for lack of a better descriptor, are men. As a woman who enjoyed dating men, I gleaned the advice of these men who obviously knew how their gender ticked. As an only child who lost her beloved father at 17, I had to venture forth, on my own, with no support or real advice that could save me from one heartbreak after another. Everything was by rote. Feet to the fire and getting burned a lot, over and over again.
So, I thought these advisers knew much more than me. While they educated me on a lot of things I wish I had known from my 20s on, there was one critical component none of them could claim.
And that was they are men who never dated men, as women do.
Still, I soaked up everything they said, even keeping two filled notebooks of sage words of advice and warning. And then...a thought nagged me: How can they be the ultimate source of everything relationships, when they haven't experienced what I and millions of others experienced as women? Now, all these guys are straight, okay? So of course, they wouldn't date men.
But...what if some catastrophe happened where at least one of them turned into a woman overnight? What insight would he--now she--glean, short of recovering from gender-switch shock?
This is where my character, Boz Studebaker, comes in, and from there on, "It Happened One Morning..." almost wrote itself. A few of Boz/Bonnie's experiences are mine, but mostly they're the experiences of others.
The man-suddenly-becomes-a-woman-against-his-will is a common trope in movies. But I think this book is different. Boz has to change not out of Godly revenge (doesn't happen in this book, btw), but to be better: a better man, a better advisor, and a much more enlightened human being. And, what happens to him also exerted a positive, life-changing effect on those closest to him.
When I typed "The End", I broke down and cried. I didn't want the journey, the adventure of living these characters' lives, to end. But now, I'm passing on the fun and the thrill to you, my readers.
Enjoy.
