Stephanie Wild's Blog, page 2

I am a rockstar. And you can be, too.

It has been about a week since I returned from rockstar camp, led by the fearless MeganJo Wilson.  It was a transformative experience. Go sign up now. If you can sing, forget it. It's not for you. It's for the rest of us. 

So many workshops allow participants to float on the surface of things - do a bit of journaling, have a little cry, pat themselves on the back and go home feeling virtuous. This was not that. This workshops actually had me breaking through real resistance and coming out the other side at a higher vibration.

Only two other workshops have ever done that for me. One was back in Australia in 1996. And the other was in Brooklyn, recently, with Derek O'Neill. 

Megan Jo is a fan of bell hooks, who says that, "One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance, places where we know we are not alone.” That is what I experienced at Rockstar Camp - a community of resistance against shame and fear and doubt.

As most of you will know, I am dedicated to helping women create the romantic life of their dreams. And that means expressing ourselves fully, honestly, and fearlessly - without shame; without fear; without doubt. Like a rockstar!

We are subject to so many influences that encourage us NOT to express ourselves fully - especially sexually. We learn that it is not safe  - that we will be attacked, ostracized, or worse.

No one ever guesses that inside, I, too, feel shy and timid and very wary of expressing the full power of my sexual desires, at times.

I've put 40 years of spiritual work in, so yes, I've come a long way. But spiritual growth is infinite and I'm still evolving along with everyone else. Rockstar camp was the portal to the next level. I felt utterly safe, there. I felt safe because I was with a group of women who stomped on my shame and fear and doubt. They demanded my fiestiness, lasciviousness, and greed. 

And that is what I demand of you. Your full self. Spirit and flesh in harmony and happiness. So, go to Rockstar Camp, you're safe there. Call me for a reading, you're safe with me.  Dance naked in the rain with someone who loves you. Do it. Be a rockstar. 

Photos by Lauren Hottinger

Who the fuck am I to be a rockstar?

In Australia, we grow up with ta keen understanding of the Tall Poppy Syndrome. “Don’t stick your head up above the others or you’ll get it chopped off.” That’s what my mother and grandmother said to me out loud.

My parents each had a different reason for not wanting me in the spotlight (at least from my point of view, and that of my Spirit guides – I haven’t asked my parents).

In my mother’s experience, it was very, very risky for her to be herself. She was a single mother (her husband had been abusive) in a very sexist environment in 60s Australia (think 1950s Midwest USA). Unwed mothers were deemed unfit mothers. Working mothers were deemed responsible for juvenile delinquency. Employers discriminated on age, gender, even body measurements. My mother chose to hide a lot about herself to survive. And that was the wise choice.

My father placed the value of an education that would prepare me for a profession above all else. He directed me into law school and away from business, theatre, and any kind of independent or creative project. My father had supported and protected his siblings, without much formal education, from the age of 14. He’d had to survive on his wit and hustle and it was bloody hard. So, this was the wise choice for him to make for me.

My parents were trying to protect me, but it embedded fear in me that was not useful to me.

I have been fighting with the belief that “it’s unsafe to express myself” all my life - whenever I felt the spotlight get close enough to warm me up, I stepped aside.

I drank and drugged my way out of astonishing opportunities; I insisted on having romantic relationships with abusive men; I underprepared for presentations and interviews ….

As my therapist said, “you took over where your parents left off”. Yes, indeed I did, and I did a great job of it. But I made a lot progress, too…

I ran away from Australia to NYC and committed to truth, justice, and the American way. (My definition of the American way is to acknowledge talent, applaud greatness, and cheer each other on.)

I forgave my parents, traded spirits for Spirit, and wrote two very truthful and intense books that became best sellers.

And next Thursday, I’m gonna be a rockstar.

This will mark the day that I divest myself of this belief for real. I’m exchanging “it’s unsafe to express myself” for, “the safest thing I can be in my fullest self”.

Who the fuck am I to be a rockstar? Me. 

I’m gonna be my own kind of rockstar: off key (I’m looking at you, Bob Dylan), 40-something, sexy as hell, terrified, and unapologetic. The Wild Reverend.

And this time, I will be protected by a cadre of rockstar angels.

Thank you, Megan Jo Wilson

PS- you can actually watch this live on Thursday, from her page     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDEAo...

Is dating fun for you?

“I s’pose the other boy’s fillin’ all my dates?”  

That’s Artie, a character in “Stories of the Streets and Town,” from 1896. That was the first time the word, ‘date’ was used in print, as we understand it today. Someone today might ask, “I guess you’re dating other guys?”

But why are women “filling in dates” in the first place?  

Well, at the turn of the twentieth century, a lot of single women in the United States (all kinds of women – both local and immigrant) were moving out of their family homes where they had been living under the watchful eyes of their mothers and working for the benefit of the family. They were moving to industrializing cities to work for cash - in factories, laundries, department stores, and such. (Three quarters of the white female labor force in 1890 and 1900 were single.)

 

Women were paid only a fraction of what men were. And this was by design.

Early in the 20th century, the minimum wage for women was literally defined in relation to the “family wage,” (the amount of money needed to support a family) and the “living wage” (the amount necessary to support the American standard of living).  

Employers paid women much less than the living wage because it was assumed that a husband or a father supported them. Women’s wages were thought to be earned at the expense of family, not for the benefit of family.

According to a U.S. News and World Reports article comparing income in 1915 and 2015, “back in 1915 . . . you were doing about average if you were making $687 a year, according to the Census. That is, if you were a man. If you were a woman, cut that number by about half.” 

So, single women in the cities needed men to pay for the activities. And they obviously had to keep track of who they were meeting when.

In a 1915 report by a New York social worker (which you can find  in The Gender and Consumer Culture Reader edited by Jennifer Scanlon) we are told that, “The acceptance on the part of the girl of almost any invitation needs little explanation, when one realizes that she often goes pleasureless unless she accepts ‘free treats.’”

So, with industrialization, courtship had suddenly changed. It had gone from “calling” to “dating.” And men’s money was now at the center of the interaction. Dating had become transactional.

 The new rules of courtship – dating – were published in magazines like Harper’s Bazaar and Ladies’ Home Journal. They were the mouthpieces of the tribal council. The rules of dating included the invitation “always” having to come from the man because he was the one “responsible for the expense.”

Helen Gurley Brown, author of Sex and the Single Girl, , impressed upon female office workers the importance of not leaving “any facet of you unpolished,” lest an eligible colleague who glances your way fails to keep glancing.

As the 1950s rolled around, the anthropologist Margaret Mead characterized college dating as “a competitive game” rather than a proper courtship ritual. And she observed that dating encourages men and women to define heterosexual relationships as situational, rather than ongoing.

Then one Tuesday Mark Zuckerberg was drunk at 10 p.m. and decided to write some software that allowed guys to compare two female students’ pictures side-by-side and decide who was hot and who was not. It was called Facemash. (A few websites later, we had Facebook.)

Now we have a bunch of dating apps where we can order fleshly merchandise and present ourselves to the dating marketplace.

In other words, since the industrial revolution, men have had to purchase access to women. Women have had to provide beauty, charming companionship, and sex at the appropriate time – depending upon what they want from the man.

Dating, something that we ostensibly do for fun and to ensure our future happiness, can make us miserable. Stressful, time-consuming, emotionally taxing, frequently disappointing: It can feel like work. 

How would you like to experience something different? No following dating rules, no feeling like a piece of merchandise, no anxiety before meeting a new person? 

Grab a free copy of my book,  The Art of Romance, and change your reality. 

How to have awesome no-strings-attached sex.

Casual sex gets a bad rap, and so does hookup culture. And that’s because there’s nothing really casual about sex and hookup culture doesn’t understand much about being cultured.

Image by Pablo Heimplatz

There is a way, though, to have really hot sex with no strings attached. Read on to find out.

1. Take a few minutes for yourself to sit quietly and imagine your dream come true. Is it 3 young men in rotation? Is it one guy who you can see once a month? Just let your subconscious play.

If you know what you want, you will find it more quickly. If you’re not sure exactly, that’s ok, just have some notion of where you’d like to begin.

2. Once you have your ideal scenario in mind (no matter how unrealistic you think it may be), ask yourself how you would feel if you had that. Are there any “negative” feelings? Fear, guilt, shame? If so, think back to where you learned them. Did the girls at high school call you names if you dated more than one guy? Did your religion teach you sex without commitment is wrong? Decide if you want to continue to believe those things.

Before you go out and get what you want, you need to clear these limiting beliefs or you will subconsciously sabotage yourself.

3. Finesse your profile on a dating app or two.

Make your age range very broad. From 22 to 72. It doesn’t matter what age a guy is (as long as he’s legal) it only matters if you have chemistry together.

Your profile needs to express your individual personality and also indicate that you’re open to casual sex. And I don’t mean by checking the boxes that say, “casual sex”. Don’t do that. That brings out the men with no finesse. I mean in what you write. The best quality guys are looking for someone who’s fun and discerning — like themselves.

Write something like, “I’m looking for the whole package, ultimately, but along the way, a lot of fun…” or, “I don’t need to know your middle name” or, “give me a break from everyday life” .

You are painting the picture of the scenario you imagined in step 1.

4. Flip through pictures, don’t read profiles.

Just flip and breathe and check in with your instincts. Your soul knows instinctively which guys will work. Don’t read their profiles yet.

When someone matches with you, then read the profile and decide if you want to reply.

5. Do a lot of texting and/or video chatting. Yes, there are lots of guys who say they don’t want endless texting. Fair enough. It doesn’t have to go on for months but the best sex comes with connection.

So, do lots of hot flirting and sexting to build the anticipation and to make yourself feel that you know this guy’s character. If you don’t feel safe and relaxed you won’t enjoy the sex. And that doesn’t take long. It just takes openness and a sense of adventure and some spiritual vulnerability.

Make sure you talk about birth control and avoiding sexually transmitted diseases. Take the appropriate actions — condoms, or testing and sharing results, for example. As I have said, sex is better when you feel safe and relaxed.

You should feel like you’re actually friends before you have sex: friends who respect each other and want to please each other.

6. Meet for coffee.

Tell the guy you will have coffee with him and not have sex with him straight after that first meeting. He may smell weird, or you just get the wrong vibe from him. Trust yourself, you will know before coffee is over. You will probably know within 60 seconds.

You can always change your mind and take him home, but if he’s not expecting sex on the first meeting, you won’t feel obligated.

7. No alcohol or drugs for the first meeting or the first time you have sex.

Don’t get dressed up for a date. This first meeting is not a date. Do not go for a drink, get drunk, and then bring the guy back for sex.

If you need to get drunk for sex, that’s a sign that you need to lower your inhibitions to have sex. And that means there’s something you’re not facing. Do that work first — figure out what you’re not facing and face it. The sex will be so much better.

If you know who you are spiritually and emotionally, and your actions are in alignment with your values, you won’t feel remorse, guilt, or shame afterward, you’ll feel enlivened and loved.

8. Arrange to meet for sex. And do it.

Make sure you schedule enough time for a little chit chat, a little warming up, and some cool down time, as well. Make sure you have enough privacy.

Say goodbye with a smile and a kiss.

9. Continue to be respectful, loving, and honest.

Did you enjoy yourself? Send a text to say so. Would you like to do it again? Call and say so. Do you want to try something raunchier next time? Send a sexy pic and say so.

Forget the rules and the games. Just be nice.

Wishing you love and light and lots of hot sex.

Friends with benefits

I often hear from women that, “men can compartmentalize” better than women. So, women should be wary of going into a friends with benefits relationship because they will likely “fall for him” and “get attached”. Women advise each other, make sure you “protect your heart”.

The implication about men is that they just don’t have feelings for certain women even if they have sex with them; or that they choose not to have those feelings. The implication about women is that they can't control what feelings they have and they will  fall in love with most men they have sex with and then that will hurt them so much it's not worth the sex. 

All of this is absolutely false.

The fact that people believe these things makes me really sad because both women and men are missing out on the possibility of some really fun and sexy times.  They are missing out on an opportunity to connect with another human—missing out on learning how another person experiences the world; missing out on the chance (well actually the responsibility) to practice empathy and respect and honesty. And missing out on all those lovely chemical cascades that come with sex and affection; that revitalize our bodies and make us laugh and shiver and sigh and sleep so sweetly.

Neither men nor women are processing feelings healthily and are both missing out.

Men, in the scenario described, are blocking their emotions.  The emotions are there, they are just stuck. And women, in this scenario, are allowing their emotions to dominate them.

We can learn something from each other. Fancy that! I find that the best way to learn from others is honest, intimate, nonjudgmental conversation. And I can think of one great place to do that.....

Sex is not just sex, women are right. Sex does bring up feelings, that's the point of it!  It gives us physical feelings and emotional feelings.

We just have to become adept at processing these feelings in a way that enhances our spiritual growth and happiness. It's just as unhealthy to squash the emotions down as it is to let them spray all over the place. It's unhealthy for us and its unfair to the other.

Sex is not a promise of any future behavior, men are right. Sex happens in the moment, not the past or the future. 

We have to become adept at expanding the present moment and are really, truly present for our sexual partner, sex gets better and more satisfying. Suddenly, we find that afterward, we are not yearning for something more—more affection, more love, more attention. If we are truly present, all of that is exactly what we get. 

My next book, The Art of Romance, will be available in July. Let me know if you'd like to be on the early reader team.

Love always,

Reverend Steph

 

The true nature of desire

How do we keep that spark alive? What happens when someone gets bored? What happens when desire wanes? These questions plague us in our romantic lives. Answers range from “get kinky”, to “just put up with it”, to “move on”.

What is desire, really?

There are two schools of thought in psychology about desire in long-term relationships. Esther Perel wrote Mating in Captivity and she (basically) describes desire as eagerness. John Gottman wrote The Science of Trust and he (basically) describes it as enjoyment. Gottman is a professor emeritus in psychology. Perel is a psychodynamic psychotherapist.

For Perel, we desire the other because we are eager for the new and the mysterious. For Gottman, we desire the other because we enjoy specific, familiar, pleasurable sensations.

As a psychic medium and Spiritualist Minister, I experience desire as a state of consciousness.

A state of consciousness consists of an activation of a certain level of vibrations in our energy body and a release of certain monoamines in our physical body. When this happens, we feel feelings and emotions.

How does desire feel to you?

Do you sometimes crave excitement—and adrenaline (Perel)? Do you sometimes crave comfort—and serotonin (Gottman)? Or is it some delicious combination that sets you adrift in a sea of buzzy, breathless, yearning?

Whatever the mix, the state of consciousness that is desire resides in the 2nd chakra. It vibrates in the second spiritual center as a bright orange color. At least it does when the chakra is clear and healthy.

When desire arises, our sacrum awakens and we want to swing our hips some kinda way and touch someone or smell someone or tell someone we want them—now, and again now, and now, and now, or maybe just forever.

When you’re in the state of desire, take a moment to notice what put you there. And know that it depends more on you than anyone or anything else.

I love you

This morning a man said “I love you” to me. We’ve been video calling and texting from across the planet for some time but we have never met in person.

My boyfriend of several years never once said, “I love you” to me. Well, he did, two days after he told me he had been seeing someone else for months and was moving out.

My first husband would say it to me after a fight. I would be crying bitter tears and he would finally ease off his attack, soften, and say, “I love you”. It was my job to say it back, which I would. And with that, our spiritual injuries to one another would be counted. Sometimes he got a point and sometimes I did.

Who says “I love you”, to you?

When My Darling on the other side of the world says, “I love you” it feels like an expression of joy at my presence.

I’ve usually just said something silly or teased him gently. He will smile amusedly and say, “I love you” without guile; without manipulation; with sparkles in his eyes. It feels freely given.

He expects nothing in return and nor do I expect it means anything but, “I love you”. It doesn’t mean. “I’m flying down to be with you.” It doesn’t mean, “will you forsake all others?” It doesn’t mean, “I will pay your rent”. It doesn’t mean, “I can’t live without you”. It doesn’t mean. “I’m now allowed to hurt you”.

It means, “I’m feeling joy in your presence”.

Joy is a moment of enlightenment; a moment of connection to the Pure Love that is the stuff of the Universe.

Pure love finds a chink in the ego, pours in, and swirls around My Darling and I. That’s all. And that’s everything.

The two of us are really present for a moment; present with one another without thought, without future, without past.

Do you say, “I love you” that way?

When my former boyfriend said, “I love you” (over text that one time) it did not feel like joy. It was as if a fire hose has been opened on me and I was being hit with regret, sorrow, affection, fear, and hope all at once.

This “I love you” felt more like an apology or a plea. It wanted something. It wanted attachment to me. It wanted me back (but with conditions I was not willing to meet).

I am sure this expectation of attachment is what prevented him from saying it to me over the years. I suspect he thought he would be making a promise with those words. A promise to stay forever? Something like that.

Do you say, “I love you” that way?

The “I love you”s between my first husband and I were attempts to re-attach after we had hurt one another. We re-attached out of fear; not out of abundance.

Never was “I love you” simply a declaration of what was. We said, “I love you” and hoped it would make us feel something. Something like happy. Every “I love you” was a request not to leave or an agreement to stay for just a bit longer.

Do you say, “I love you” that way?

It seems that a lot of people hold the belief that there is a promise contained in those words, whether you’re saying them or hearing them.

There are even guidelines written by well-meaning people about when, why, and how to say, “I love you” to a romantic interest: when it’s too soon; what it means if he says it first; what to do if you accidentally blurt it out; how long you should wait around before he says it…

These rules are meaningful only if you believe that the words, “I love you” are a bargaining chip; something to win or something to earn.

But words are just signifiers of meaning. The real truth is in the substance of the Pure Love of the Universe.

Instead of making hearing, “I love you” a goal, we could make feeling Pure Love the goal.

What is your love goal?

My former boyfriend and I had moments when we were in the Pure Love of the universe. But the moment that he said, “I love you” was not one of them. And the words did not make it so.

My first husband and I were not connected to Infinite Intelligence so neither of us understood how to make “I love you” joyful by opening to Pure Love individually, first.

My Darling and I are each connected to Infinite Intelligence and share moments of Pure Love without expectations of behavior. No strings. Just a lovely moment. Then another.

Have you felt the joy of an, “I love you” without strings? Are you brave enough to say, “I love you” and expect nothing in return?

Love is a battlefield

Where are you?

It’s Valentine’s Day. Do you know where you are in your relationship?

Are you in the honeymoon period? It’s a volcano of endorphins and hope.

Are you cooling down? When that honeymoon period is over. When that passion of the first few months ebbs, the other person doesn’t make us instantly happy anymore. But things are still pretty good, just a bit — dull.

Are you in the war zone? That frustrating, heart breaking place where we can’t seem to make our lover understand that we just need them to do the dishes or talk sweetly to us.

Are you here? That place where the decision to stay overrides the fear of discomfort and staying and forgiving opens the door to deep contentment. Here. In the moment. Here. Present. Here. Here. With me. Moving toward loving the world better, together.

Who is really fighting?

I need to tell you something important about the war zone: What we think is a battle between you and me is not. It’s a battle going on within ourselves, between the mind governed by the ego and the mind governed by the spirit.

Ego is the mind that would lead us to hell. Spirit is the mind that would lead us to heaven. Nowhere is the competition between them more fierce than in the context of intimate love.

When it gets uncomfortable, what are you going to do?

Will you listen when your ego says, “oh it’s just not the right relationship”? or will you listen when your spirit says, “you can be more honest; more kind; more vulnerable”?

What is your relationship for?

The purpose of an intimate love relationship is to do the very thing that we want to avoid. Its purpose is to aggravate our flaws so that we have the opportunity to evolve toward enlightenment.

When we accept that stuff will come up, we are better prepared to face it with commitment and grace. And when I say commitment, I mean commitment to ourselves; to our own spiritual growth.

Yes, that entails commitment to staying with the other person — forgiving and growing with the other person. But it is good for us. It is not a meaningless societal convention.

But when we use a relationship for ego purposes — to hide from loneliness; to entertain us; as a warm place to be until someone else comes along—if we have one foot in and one foot out, the despair can be deep and terrible. The stuff that comes up seems far far worse than it really is. It seems fatal.

So, when it gets uncomfortable, what are you going to do?

Will you pray for their happiness? Ask them how you can give to them? When stuff comes up, will you thank the other person for it? Will you slow down and share feelings and sensations? Or will you judge them? Will you measure how well they are doing at being the person you need them to be to make you happy?

Is your relationship for a reason, a season, or a lifetime?

Sure, intimate love relationships don’t have to last forever to be valuable and purposeful.

But saying “things didn’t work out” takes you out of the driver’s seat. It’s not that “things didn’t work”. It’s that you chose not to do your spiritual work.

Ending a relationship mindfully and honestly, understanding the lesson and honoring the other person for their part is a whole lot different from “things not working out”.

So, when it gets uncomfortable, what are you going to do?

Will you honor your Self? Or will you hide from the light?

Success in a second.

Suddenly, I am from another generation. Suddenly, it is 35 years ago that I was a 10-year-old child. I noticed this yesterday.

My son disrupted his martial arts class with a behavior beyond his control. The teachers did not know that, at the time, yet they treated him with kindness and respect and took care not to embarrass him while keeping the needs of the other students in mind.

This is not how it would have happened 35 years ago, in my world. What would have happened 35 years ago is something completely different.

When I was a child, I went to Sunday school in rural Australia with my cousin, once. I asked inappropriate questions about the story of the day and so I wasn’t allowed to read aloud (my favorite thing to do), “you think you deserve to read after a question like that?”.

I was shy and during game time I kept to myself and didn’t jump into the middle of the circle to take my turn at doing some silly miming thing. The pastor swept around the circle with his black dress flying and flung his finger out and pointed at me while he cried bitterly, “that little girl! That little girl there! She didn’t join in!” It was absurdly terrifying.

This kind of thing happened constantly. Shame and contempt being flung at me from all corners. No doubt a result of shame and contempt having been flung at my tormentors.

I thought I was over it when I forgave my father for the direct and intimate abuse he put me through and when I forgave my immediate family for their complicity. But there was more. That abuse was the hardened crust, and underneath is the pus.

Underneath, there’s still a feeling that I should be ashamed of myself.

More specifically, ashamed of being my Best Self; ashamed of having an opinion that is challenging to others (like at Sunday School); ashamed of having preferences; ashamed of achieving greatly; ashamed of being good at things.

A whole lot of social conditioning went into this. (In this life and in past lives.) And I am overjoyed to see that my children are getting less of it, as are other kids—like this young woman whose father (who has climbed the seven summits) takes her adventuring with him.

Jade's trolls told her to 'make a sandwich'. So she did, at the South Pole

So my next task is to forgive my parents and teachers for telling me, all those years ago that I “shouldn’t behave that way”; shouldn’t ask so many questions; shouldn’t be so bold with grownups; shouldn’t take on too much academically; shouldn’t backpack around China at 19; shouldn’t drive long distances in Australia alone…

All of this should-ing seeped in to my psyche. So that when I was on the verge of achieving something great, I would sabotage myself so as not to incur the contempt and shame.

I remember being on the verge of winning a legal argument. At the last second, I averted my eyes from my opponent’s and forfeited the moment. This emboldened her to carry on and cost me a lot, financially.

I remember that after submitting stellar academic work one time I would follow up with shoddy work the next. My professors were bewildered and my grades suffered.

I squandered invaluable networking opportunities when I was seeing some success as an actor in NYC.

I didn’t sabotage anyone else; just myself. I showed up to jobs on time and worked hard, but whenever it came time to step up; to shine; to grab the brass ring, I just — didn’t.

I know my father was trying to keep me safe and my mother was trying to keep me respectable. Conditioning me with shame was their perverse reaction to a perverted world.

Understanding intellectually how this happened to me helps me see the baggage and understand the stinky wrinkled mess. I can choose, or not, to divest myself of it.

I choose to. My first step, when I need to forgive, is always to sit still and accept the moment. So, I am looking out for those moments when I tell myself, “you don’t want that — that leads to success. And success leads to recognition and that’s not safe or respectable for you.”

When those moments come up, my task is to let the feeling work its way through me, let it go, and choose a new thought.

Hey, universe, “I do want success. Success leads to satisfaction and in this world, 35 years later, it’s perfectly safe and respectable.”

 

Forcing authenticity on Madison Ave

Great news - smaller, upstart makeup companies who brand themselves authentically and in alignment with  their values are making a difference.....

CVS Health is going to ban photo manipulation in its store-brand makeup marketing and promotional displays.  Other makeup and beauty brands that sell products in its stores will also have to commit to a photo-manipulation ban by 2020 or have an alert label placed on their images.

CVS Pharmacy President Helena Foulkes, made the official announcement at the National Retail Federation's convention in New York, and said the decision reflects an acknowledgment that "unrealistic body images" are "a significant driver of health issues," especially among women.

This all sounds very honorable, but it's just a response to the fact that makeup sales have been weak for CVS. They are being challenged by makeup brands that tout natural ingredients and more natural imagery— brands that show more authenticity in a world overwhelmed by false imagery.

Foulkes admitted that, "Partly, we were reflecting on why are these indie brands are doing so well."

Sephora was apparently the first, back in 2011. 

If you ask me, I think the reason they are doing so well is that they are not anchoring their marketing in shame. And I think more of us will end up coming home with something that actually gives us the result we were hoping for.

CVS is very influential in the beauty market because it has about 10,000 stores around the USA. And about 80% of CVS customers are women. So this could have a significant effect.

Hooray to less shame!

 

A classic example of ridiculous image alteration. Click on the image to read about it.