Ruby Fitzgerald's Blog - Posts Tagged "weather"
The Only Cure is Kindness
When it's snowing and I don't have the energy to go play outside, my heart breaks a bit and the little girl inside me lets out a self-pitying wail. But that's how it goes... sometimes it doesn't matter how beautiful it is outside or what plans I have or what errands I need to run. Some really low days, it doesn't even matter what job I need to do... my body and mind say "no".
Those days are spent balled up crying, full of self doubt and insecurity. Those days are spent aching, are spent tangled in thoughts, and weary to the core. But I know that there's also some days when anger overwhelms every other emotion, that you find yourself furious. Enraged at your body for not doing what you need it to do. You're angry that it's rebelling against your wishes. You're angry that you know what happiness feels like and yet you can't quite grasp it, that because your anxieties are high, you can't go grocery shopping for fear of a panic attack, that your friends don't understand why you had to cancel plans last minute because you're just too tired to function. You're angry that the sales clerk thinks you're rude because you can't dredge up a response to their questions from your closed-up throat, that showering seems like an absolutely daunting task, that you want to talk to somebody but can't get your fingers to dial their number. I know. I know exactly how that feels... The pure rage that flares up out of nowhere when your body doesn't feel like your own, when the world calls you weak or crazy for something you can't control, when the help you need isn't available, and especially when all you want is to feel "normal".
I admit, sometimes that anger gives me the strength to plow through how miserable I feel, but more often, being angry leads to further exhausting myself. That's when I have to step back and remind myself that it's okay to have bad days, and admit that I need help. Because, on the days that my body and mind refuse to do what I want, the only cure is kindness. I have to protect my body like it's a fragile thing when really I know the reason why it's fragile today is because yesterday it was unbelievably strong. On those days, I have to treat my mind like a broken bone in a cast, remembering that it has insured much pain and so deserves support- just the same as a physical injury. My body and my mind, I tell myself, have kept me standing tell, working hard, and often smiling wide. I deserve - and require - rest. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I implore you, respect yourself. Thank your body for its endurance. Take a bath, eat some nourishing food. Have patience with your mind, it's not its fault that it spins with stress and falls into depression. Your body, your mind - YOU - are doing so well. Courage yourself by remembering that you are fighting a battle every single day and sometimes every single night too. Honor the work you're doing. Be proud of your strength instead of angry at your weakness. We all hurt sometimes, need help, become scared, we all fall and wonder if were going to be able to get back up. It's ok. Really, it is. Remind yourself that it will be a snowy winter day again and that you do not need to hate yourself for not being able to enjoy it today. Calm your anger. Today you need to stay inside with blanket and essential oil, and comforting words from a trusted friend. Today you must focus on finding your balance once again, because you - your health of mind and body - is important.
Those days are spent balled up crying, full of self doubt and insecurity. Those days are spent aching, are spent tangled in thoughts, and weary to the core. But I know that there's also some days when anger overwhelms every other emotion, that you find yourself furious. Enraged at your body for not doing what you need it to do. You're angry that it's rebelling against your wishes. You're angry that you know what happiness feels like and yet you can't quite grasp it, that because your anxieties are high, you can't go grocery shopping for fear of a panic attack, that your friends don't understand why you had to cancel plans last minute because you're just too tired to function. You're angry that the sales clerk thinks you're rude because you can't dredge up a response to their questions from your closed-up throat, that showering seems like an absolutely daunting task, that you want to talk to somebody but can't get your fingers to dial their number. I know. I know exactly how that feels... The pure rage that flares up out of nowhere when your body doesn't feel like your own, when the world calls you weak or crazy for something you can't control, when the help you need isn't available, and especially when all you want is to feel "normal".
I admit, sometimes that anger gives me the strength to plow through how miserable I feel, but more often, being angry leads to further exhausting myself. That's when I have to step back and remind myself that it's okay to have bad days, and admit that I need help. Because, on the days that my body and mind refuse to do what I want, the only cure is kindness. I have to protect my body like it's a fragile thing when really I know the reason why it's fragile today is because yesterday it was unbelievably strong. On those days, I have to treat my mind like a broken bone in a cast, remembering that it has insured much pain and so deserves support- just the same as a physical injury. My body and my mind, I tell myself, have kept me standing tell, working hard, and often smiling wide. I deserve - and require - rest. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I implore you, respect yourself. Thank your body for its endurance. Take a bath, eat some nourishing food. Have patience with your mind, it's not its fault that it spins with stress and falls into depression. Your body, your mind - YOU - are doing so well. Courage yourself by remembering that you are fighting a battle every single day and sometimes every single night too. Honor the work you're doing. Be proud of your strength instead of angry at your weakness. We all hurt sometimes, need help, become scared, we all fall and wonder if were going to be able to get back up. It's ok. Really, it is. Remind yourself that it will be a snowy winter day again and that you do not need to hate yourself for not being able to enjoy it today. Calm your anger. Today you need to stay inside with blanket and essential oil, and comforting words from a trusted friend. Today you must focus on finding your balance once again, because you - your health of mind and body - is important.
#mentalhealthmatters
I don't remember ever talking about mental health in school. The closest thing to a mental illness that we discussed were eating disorders. I remember hearing the words 'depression' and 'anxiety' but I didn't realize for a very long time that they were diseases. I didn't know you could be diagnosed with such. I thought anxiety was just another way of saying stressed... that came with the holidays, with errands, with mortgage payments, that type of thing! I didn't know that someone could HAVE anxiety. I didn't know that someone could be sick of mind. And sick of mind simply by existing! And, to add to the ignorance, I didn't know that there was help to be had for such diseases.
Mental illness has long been considered taboo, only ever talked about behind closed doors, and always viewed skeptically. It's like all of society has struggled to understand how having depression doesn't mean you're incapable of smiling. Even now, people are confused - and sometimes even hostile - when the subject of celebrity suicide comes up. Why is it so hard to understand that success doesn't mean mentally healthy? Wealth doesn't ensure happiness. Fame doesn't promise inner peace! For too long, people have avoided using certain words, avoided asking for help, avoided admitting trouble, and thought themselves crazy or weak but never said a word... all for the sake of saving face. Why? Because in general, those with mental illnesses have long been under informed, denied assistance, and negatively judged.
I learned the basics of the human body in high school and then learned way more during CMT training... but I didn't learn what I wanted to know about the connection between emotion, thought, and body. So, over the years, I've done a ton of research trying to figure out what's wrong with me, wondering how common mental illness is, and searching for solutions. A body can get broken - can get sick - that we all know. We take physical ailments in stride. When somebody says they have a cold, nobody blinks an eye. They're told to take some vitamin C, get a lot of sleep, and drink a lot of water... but when somebody says they're depressed, there is no immediate answer. There is no quick-fix and no waiting it out. There is no "here take this and you'll feel better instantly" type cure-all. What my research has told me is there are an astounding number of unanswered questions, a lot of illnesses not commonly known, and that help is not being given due to negligence, under funding, inaccessibility, and bias. Help for mental illnesses can require going to a doctor or psychologist, getting a prescription, getting another (or different, or multiple) prescription, changing an entire diet and exercise routine, kicking addictions, changing social circles, going to therapy, taking herbs, moving, changing jobs, getting acupuncture or massages, sleeping more, sleeping less, meditation, supplements, etc etc etc. It often requires years and years and years of trial and error. All just to feel "normal". Not even in order to feel good! Simply to just plain feel NORMAL. There is no 100% success rate, 'you're cured, all is well' answer to mental illness. There is a fight. a struggle. an endurance. every single day. so that our lives can be lived and - hopefully - enjoyed. But, instead of realizing this and being supportive by being honest about how difficult managing mental health can be, the world has always turned just its back on those struggle.
Finally we've started to open open up, to talk, to admit truths that have long been ignored. I think it's truly great that mental health is up for discussion, in the news, getting some funding, being further researched... But I urge you, talk to the youth as well. Talk to your younger siblings and your children, and encourage teachers to talk to students. Please, don't neglect to include the youth in the conversation. Because - if we want a future filled with healthy minds - we need to teach our children that there are many different ways to be sick and many different ways to get help. And none of them are shameful.
Mental illness has long been considered taboo, only ever talked about behind closed doors, and always viewed skeptically. It's like all of society has struggled to understand how having depression doesn't mean you're incapable of smiling. Even now, people are confused - and sometimes even hostile - when the subject of celebrity suicide comes up. Why is it so hard to understand that success doesn't mean mentally healthy? Wealth doesn't ensure happiness. Fame doesn't promise inner peace! For too long, people have avoided using certain words, avoided asking for help, avoided admitting trouble, and thought themselves crazy or weak but never said a word... all for the sake of saving face. Why? Because in general, those with mental illnesses have long been under informed, denied assistance, and negatively judged.
I learned the basics of the human body in high school and then learned way more during CMT training... but I didn't learn what I wanted to know about the connection between emotion, thought, and body. So, over the years, I've done a ton of research trying to figure out what's wrong with me, wondering how common mental illness is, and searching for solutions. A body can get broken - can get sick - that we all know. We take physical ailments in stride. When somebody says they have a cold, nobody blinks an eye. They're told to take some vitamin C, get a lot of sleep, and drink a lot of water... but when somebody says they're depressed, there is no immediate answer. There is no quick-fix and no waiting it out. There is no "here take this and you'll feel better instantly" type cure-all. What my research has told me is there are an astounding number of unanswered questions, a lot of illnesses not commonly known, and that help is not being given due to negligence, under funding, inaccessibility, and bias. Help for mental illnesses can require going to a doctor or psychologist, getting a prescription, getting another (or different, or multiple) prescription, changing an entire diet and exercise routine, kicking addictions, changing social circles, going to therapy, taking herbs, moving, changing jobs, getting acupuncture or massages, sleeping more, sleeping less, meditation, supplements, etc etc etc. It often requires years and years and years of trial and error. All just to feel "normal". Not even in order to feel good! Simply to just plain feel NORMAL. There is no 100% success rate, 'you're cured, all is well' answer to mental illness. There is a fight. a struggle. an endurance. every single day. so that our lives can be lived and - hopefully - enjoyed. But, instead of realizing this and being supportive by being honest about how difficult managing mental health can be, the world has always turned just its back on those struggle.
Finally we've started to open open up, to talk, to admit truths that have long been ignored. I think it's truly great that mental health is up for discussion, in the news, getting some funding, being further researched... But I urge you, talk to the youth as well. Talk to your younger siblings and your children, and encourage teachers to talk to students. Please, don't neglect to include the youth in the conversation. Because - if we want a future filled with healthy minds - we need to teach our children that there are many different ways to be sick and many different ways to get help. And none of them are shameful.
A Bit More Alive
I started writing as a way to escape. I created my own world in which to live, separate from the strain and stress of reality. Then - years later- I found out reading is scientifically proven to be beneficial to the mind not only for knowledge but also for health.
Of course reading is mentally stimulating and will increase your vocabulary and cognitive functions but it also reduces stress, deepens empathetic tendencies, helps with depression, serves as a re-energizer, and even decreases your chances of developing Alzheimer’s disease later in life. Reading is the ultimate combination of essential and superfluous. Diving into make-believe worlds filled with grand adventures and whirlwinds of romance may seem silly, may even seem like a waste of time, but knowing how the dance of words across crisp pages makes me feel, and then adding that to the scientific backing for cracking open a book, I will never again doubt the power an author wields.
My mom once said to me, when I was feeling very discouraged about not being able to find a publisher, that I should be proud of myself. She said to me, “You wrote a book. Even if you never get published, you still wrote a book. That’s not something very many people can say. It’s a huge accomplishment, and you should be proud.” And that has stuck with me. It has put a smile on my lips on many a day when writer’s block or production issues would have otherwise brought me down. And so I want to pass that on to you.
Reading is powerful. Reading is good for the heart, mind, body, and soul. If you - brave, beautiful, creative spirit that you are - can manage to put words on paper, tell a story, spin a tale, or even write a poem or a paragraph, good for you. Be proud. And know that when someone reads your work, even if it’s just a friend and your work never makes its way into the hands of a commercial reader or reviewers, know that you have accomplished something wonderful, and enriched the life of who ever you choose to share it with.
If you love to read, read. Don’t ever, ever give yourself a hard time for “wasting time” with your nose buried in a book. And if you love to write, write. Even if it’s “bad”, even if you don’t think you’ll even be published; if writing gives you a rush, brightens your mood, makes you feel that tiny bit more alive, do it. Do it for your health. Do it for your happiness. Do it for the chance you’ll one day have a reader who will also be that bit healthier and happier because of you.
Of course reading is mentally stimulating and will increase your vocabulary and cognitive functions but it also reduces stress, deepens empathetic tendencies, helps with depression, serves as a re-energizer, and even decreases your chances of developing Alzheimer’s disease later in life. Reading is the ultimate combination of essential and superfluous. Diving into make-believe worlds filled with grand adventures and whirlwinds of romance may seem silly, may even seem like a waste of time, but knowing how the dance of words across crisp pages makes me feel, and then adding that to the scientific backing for cracking open a book, I will never again doubt the power an author wields.
My mom once said to me, when I was feeling very discouraged about not being able to find a publisher, that I should be proud of myself. She said to me, “You wrote a book. Even if you never get published, you still wrote a book. That’s not something very many people can say. It’s a huge accomplishment, and you should be proud.” And that has stuck with me. It has put a smile on my lips on many a day when writer’s block or production issues would have otherwise brought me down. And so I want to pass that on to you.
Reading is powerful. Reading is good for the heart, mind, body, and soul. If you - brave, beautiful, creative spirit that you are - can manage to put words on paper, tell a story, spin a tale, or even write a poem or a paragraph, good for you. Be proud. And know that when someone reads your work, even if it’s just a friend and your work never makes its way into the hands of a commercial reader or reviewers, know that you have accomplished something wonderful, and enriched the life of who ever you choose to share it with.
If you love to read, read. Don’t ever, ever give yourself a hard time for “wasting time” with your nose buried in a book. And if you love to write, write. Even if it’s “bad”, even if you don’t think you’ll even be published; if writing gives you a rush, brightens your mood, makes you feel that tiny bit more alive, do it. Do it for your health. Do it for your happiness. Do it for the chance you’ll one day have a reader who will also be that bit healthier and happier because of you.
