Ben Hobson's Blog, page 4

Masculinity and Hard Work

My first book (out next year in June oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah) is largely to do with emerging masculinity. Learning what it means to be a man has always seemed nebulous and tricky to me. And it used to be even more cut-throat. If you didn’t have what it took, back in the day, you simply did not survive. Nowadays it’s so tricky to know what it is, let alone whether or not you have any of it.

I’ve never been good with my hands. My dad is. So is my brother. They can see a problem in a house – say, a lack of shelving in the pantry cupboard – and they then, seemingly out of the aether, come up with a solution. Just buy this wood and cut it with this gizmo and sand it with this and then attach it with these thingamebobs. And so on. My dad, bless his socks, used to try to teach me these things when I was younger but I think, because I’m not naturally inclined toward it, I lost patience quickly. Too busy day-dreaming of Nintendo (did you know the Switch is out next March?!?!).

I’ve never been like that, which is why this week has been such an adventure. I’ve been building an outdoor pergola with my father-in-law, Paul, who has been very generous with his time and effort. It’s been difficult work, but very rewarding. And it feels risky. I constantly have to wear my ignorance on my face. This morning, for instance, I was asked to grab two bags of cement for mortar. When I got to the store they had cement, or mortar cement. And I have to go in and ask these big blokey blokes what the hell I’m doing. And wear that face.

But I feel that there’s an honesty to this type of vulnerability. I need not feel shame for my ignorance. If I’m not a traditional blokey bloke, that’s fine. I’m discovering, more and more, that true strength comes from humility. A lack of pride. Showing everybody a front would be just that, a show. No real strength in pretending I know.

Below is me at the end of day three. Getting there! My back hurts and my hamstrings hurt and my fingers are blistered and achey, but man do I feel courageous. Also some random being awesome in front me.

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The Edits Pt 2

I really love editing. That’s weird, I know. But once the initial shock has worn off (my golly there’s that much wrong with it oh no oh no) I find it much easier to have a problem to fix, then to have nothing at all to work on. That’s easily the worst part of writing in a vacuum – the lack of feedback, the lack of anything at all. Am I doing anything right?

Which is probably why I write so fast. As I waited to hear back from my publisher regarding the story edits on my first book, I wrote another book. It had been planned for a while, and I’d mapped out the chapter beats already, but I think I finished writing the majority of it within three months. This, I’m finding more and more, comparatively is quite fast (please correct me if all authors do this and I’m insane). So I am quite quick in churning out content.

And this is because I prefer to edit then I do to write.

Hemingway said, “write drunk and edit sober” and while I don’t subscribe to the drinking part, I definitely subscribe to the essence of what he was saying. I like to describe it as writing from the gut, and editing from the brain. I try to let my books just come out of me, and not put too much thought into construction. I find if I get overly thoughtful my prose is robbed of some of its humanity. If I overthink I stop my heart. It’s the same difference between writing a song on sheet music, vs jamming an improvised solo. The written song may be more textured, brilliant, layered, etc. But the solo is raw. The solo is real.

Judd Apatow, I’ve heard, calls this the vomit pass. Just regurgitate all the stuff that’s been bubbling up inside you onto the page. The first draft won’t resemble much, but there’ll be some magic there you’ll be able to shape. It’s much easier to mould clay already on the table, then to completely imagine the clay, the vase, your fingers in the mould.

I love to edit. I love going back over my instinctual writing-from-the-gut prose and finding these little moments I hadn’t remember writing. I also love going back and finding some awkward moments, some inconsistent character beats, because then, at least, I have something to work on.

On a completely unrelated but sort of related note, below is me playing bass in my somewhat successful-in-an-underground-ska-way band in 2014. This was a reunion gig we did. I guess this is where my love for jamming on a book comes from. This and a deep panic that if I don’t finish a draft quickly, I never will.

The Edits

I’ve not written here for quite some time. Sorry about that! I’ve been ultra busy. Just a quick update now. I have precisely 6 minutes to write it, before work begins.

I went to the Byron Bay Writer’s Festival and got to meet my agent and publisher for the first time. It was lovely and exciting and I only stumbled over my words one time. I also got to pitch my next book a little bit, and publisher seemed excited. Hurray!
I have received 27 pages of editorial report on To Become a Whale. This is both extremely exciting and daunting. A big ole mountain to climb. Publisher and editor did a fantastic job of saying nice things while suggesting room for improvement. So I’ve changed the 27 pages into two pages of dot point, to fixes. I am well on my way to fixing these up. It is invaluable to have a professional eyes on my manuscript – all their suggestions are spot on. I’ve written an additional 5,000 words roughly to fix up a little bit of a story sag, and it has made the book so much better. Really happy with this tightening up. To give you a look at some of these dot points, they look like this: 

Change scene: Chapter 57 – what qualities had shifted?

Add to scene: Chapter 58 – I am no better than my dad – what does this mean?

So that’s what I’m working on. Some are way bigger than that but really, it’s all about shading. Richer, deeper colours. Things like that.

Anyway, that’s all from me. All in five minutes! I’m actually keen on sharing anything about this process with anybody who’s interested, so feel free to ask!

Why Kids Make You a Better Writer

I often see blog posts regarding the difficulty between being a good parent and being a good writer. While these bloggers are writing some much needed advice relating to time management (trust me, I’ve used it), I still think they’re missing the mark. Kids, when you have them, are a challenge for sure, but to focus primarily on the difficult aspects of child-rearing I think does your kids, and you, a disservice.

Kids actually make you a better writer. Below I’ve got some concrete reasons how, but I need to state, unequivocally right now, that my kids make my whole life better, not just as a writer. This is just how they help me write.

1. You work like don’t have time to waste. Which you don’t. I wrote my last novel in thirty minute sprints, from 9:30 to 10:00 every night, with my laptop on my knees, lying down next to my then-asleep wife. The kids were in bed. The chores were done. Nothing was required of me except to wake up at 5:00 and start the whole thing over again (my day job). So I needed to get to sleep. And fast. This is all my way of saying: you write more when you have kids, because you have less time to muck around. When I’m on holidays I really struggle to make time to write. And when I didn’t have kids, I used to spend hours and hours crafting mediocre sentences that all end up sounding the same, no matter how much thought went into them.

I don’t know what it is. But when my feet are near the furnace I scramble to make the time.

2. Kids shows are great teachers. Have any of you seen Thomas the Tank Engine: Tales of the Brave? Here are some great story-telling elements you can find within this movie (BEWARE: SPOILERS):

Character arcs. Percy begins the movie in a funk. He is sick of being teased because he’s afraid of the dark. But he learns, through the course of the movie, that being brave doesn’t mean not being afraid. Being brave means doing things even though you feel afraid (see how great the message stuck?) He also learns about friendship.
Repetition. Setup and payoff. The movie starts in the clay pits, and ends there. The movie starts with the mystery of the “footprints” and ends with that mystery being revealed. The movie begins with Thomas, and ends with Thomas. In kid’s shows the setups need to be painfully obvious, and so too the payoffs. It helps you write your own.
Clear motivation. Obviously, again because this movie is aimed at kids, the character motivations are made extremely obvious. But I think it’s equally as important to make your own characters motivations clear, no matter the context. It can be more complicated, or subtle, obviously, but they need to be present, and communicative. Painful is the film or book wherein motivation is obscured to the point of non-existence.
Action scenes that feature Cranky hurling hooks onto moving ships and almost bursting at the seams are awesome.

3. Finally, kids make us more sensitive to others. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has experienced this, but I routinely end up crying in most Pixar movies. I’m still not over Bing Bong being left in that ditch to slowly fade away as he pines for the little girl who no longer wants him. Still.

I feel more, not to put to fine a point on it, now that I have two beautiful kids. I’m not sure how it happens, but your world just sort of expands to take in more of humanity. You become more patient, forgiving, and kind. And, most importantly, you truly care about other people before you care for yourself. This emotional maturity all affects my writing (I hope).

Can you be a great writer without kids? Of course. And is it challenging to juggle parenthood and a pursuit like writing? Definitely. But I’d like to see my kids, as I wake up to little fists punching my nose, as a benefit, not a difficulty to be managed, in all areas of my life. And I think they certainly are.

Author Photoshoot

So Allen & Unwin, as part of the getting-to-know-you part of our relationship, asked me to provide two colour photos of myself. This is for future releases to the media. If anybody out there in the big wide world wants a photo of me, this is where they will get it; this is what I will look like.

In other words, I needed to capture everything that makes me me in one photo. This was quite difficult. It’s hard to know when to smile, how much to smile, if to smile at all. Do you look serious, and literary? Does literature every laugh?

Out of sixty photos, here are three options for my headshot. Would you choose any of these? Be aware, I have only one head, so changing the shape of it is not a possibility.

Option 2 is a little too smiley, I think. Option 3 not smiley enough. I went with Option 1, even if my eyes are more shadowed in it. Plus my beard looks mightiest in  Option 1.

It is very unnerving to stare at a picture of your own face for such a long period of time.

Cheers to Jo Hammond Photography for being awesome and a pro. Check her out here if you want somebody awesome to take some photos.

Doing a Reading

I’ve been invited to do a reading and I’m freaking the heck out. It is super exciting but also a little scary. I will be standing in front of an audience, reading from something I’ve written. Writing has always felt vulnerable, but this is another level. I’m a teacher, so you’d think I’d be okay in front of an audience, but the nerves are certainly there. Different context, I suppose.

I’m finding, more and  more, writing to be one of the most subjective arts. I feel like I’m getting up there reading words of which every person in the room is capable, but which I’m pretending are significant. I guess that’s it. That feeling of being a fraud that accompanies, I think, most people in most new professions. I’ll probably feel like this every reading.

But let’s look at the bright side, which is always helpful. I’m nervous because I desperately care, and that’s no bad thing. The people I’m reading to are wanting me to do well. And you know what? How exciting is it that I get to read my work to people?

The best author I’ve heard read their own work is Richard Flanagan. Here has a certain pace he keeps, and modulates his voice just enough to draw you in. That’s another thing. I don’t want to rush through just to get it done. I want to enjoy the experience.

Below is a picture of me the last time I read my own work. This is me reading one of Tiny Owl Workshop’s napkin stories. It was great fun.

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I guess I’m both looking forward to this and dreading it all at once. Dread might be strong. I’m slightly nervous and very excited seems more balanced. But feel I’m living an adventure. Onwards and upwards!