Sally Bend's Blog, page 43

Fetish & Fantasy Freebie Friday - Putting the TG in TGIF!

Well, if it's Friday, then it must be time to bend our way into the weekend with Fetish & Fantasy Freebie Friday!

Every Friday I search through the free titles on Amazon, looking for those that might be of interest to similarly bent readers, fans, and lovers. Even if you don't have a Kindle, you can still download the titles through one of Amazon's free reading applications.

Please do be sure to check the price before downloading anything, as most freebies are limited time offers, and some are specific to certain regions.[image error]



While you're on Amazon, if you'd like to support my weekly efforts, could I kindly ask that you give latest erotic creations a read/review!

Enjoy!  © 2022 Bending the Bookshelf All Rights Reserved

On Self-Realization, Acceptance, and Coping: A Year in Review

Mounting Challenges

2022 was an extraordinarily hard year for me, maybe the worst I’ve been through in almost 15 years. It started with 3 months of major (often problematic) home renovations that saw a parade of strangers stomp all over my privacy and my solitude. I work from home, so managing the noise, the chaos, and the interruptions was an incremental load of daily stress I did not manage well. Why I handled it so poorly isn't something I understood until much later, but we'll get to that.

Compounding that was my seasonal depression, provoked by the prolonged darkness, miserable cold, and mounting snow. The season always takes its toll on me, emotionally and physically, but the whole pandemic isolation experience certainly didn't help, leaving me weary, with the sense of being trapped, and feeling so hopeless. 

After that, it was the death of my father-in-law, which saw us spend a month far away from home, wrenching me from the comfort of my routine, forcing me to engage with family gatherings, and seeing me swap places with my grieving Goddess, putting me in the strong, supportive role where she’s usually the one to hold it all together. It also involved long drives, including a 650 km stretch in the dark, in some of the heaviest rain I’ve ever seen, none of which I’m comfortable with.

Halfway through the year, though, it all culminated in my Goddess’s surgery, which saw us spend another month even farther away from home, where I not only had to struggle with the lack of familiar surroundings, the absence of my routine, and the challenge of working from a tiny hotel room while she recovered, but the paralyzing fear that the woman I loved with all my heart was never going to get better. I’m a service submissive, so caring for her needs was hardly a challenge, but seeing her suffer, seeing my vibrant Goddess bedridden and in pain, was extraordinarily difficult.

Hitting Rock Bottom

My depression was at an all-time low, and my anxiety was at an all-time high. I felt so alone, so hopeless, and so unable to cope. I felt abandoned and ignored by friends, unsure whether they weren’t hearing my cries for help, didn’t know what to say, or simply didn’t care, and the one person from whom I could always take strength – my Goddess – had none to spare. I was in a situation where none of my usual coping mechanisms were available to me. I couldn’t even go for a long walk (there were no sidewalks), much less a hike (there was nowhere to hike), and there wasn’t a BDSM session to be found for a hundred miles (yes, I checked). 

Oh, and let’s not forget the driving – as the only able-bodied person in the family, I had no choice but to once again do the one thing that always feeds my anxiety, and that’s driving long distances (close to 2500 km), in heavy traffic, in unfamiliar territory, with Goddess painfully cursing every bump and vibration.

I broke down. I retreated from everything and everyone, both online and at home. I stopped reviewing books, stopped blogging, and deleted half my social media presence. I turned inward, which is usually a bad thing to do, but instead of succumbing to the dark thoughts, I chose to work on myself. Instead of wondering what’s wrong with me, I chose to find answers as to why I am so different from those around me. I thought a lot, researched and read even more, and even talked about my feelings (which I don’t do well) with both peers and professionals.

Self-Realization and Self-Acceptance

What I discovered is three things – one, I am nonbinary; two, I am neurodivergent; and three, the two have a surprisingly high level of correlation. 

Even though I'd tried the term on before, pairing it with trans, coming to understand and accept myself as nonbinary was a powerful sort of freedom. It meant I could finally be comfortable being me — all of me, not masculine or feminine, but everything in between — without feeling the need to choose some end of an arbitrary spectrum. Without the pressure to transition or become something else, I'm free to exist as who I am, embracing what I am in each moment.

As for being neurodivergent, I'd suspected it for a while now, but arriving at a proper diagnosis, coming to fully understand why I am the way I am, was a HUGE relief. All of my sensitivities (sound, smell, taste, texture) were suddenly placed into context, and all of my emotional challenges (stress, anxiety, social awkwardness, etc.) suddenly had a framework for managing them.

I’m not broken. I’m not just difficult or fussy. I’m perfectly fine, albeit a bit different from most.

Once I understood that, I was able to shift my focus from fixingmyself to finding new mechanisms for coping with how I am, the most important of which is weekly yoga sessions. Another correlation there that surprised me was the overlap between yoga and BDSM — the emphasis on form and posture, the fluidity of movement, the control over your breathing, and the surrendering to someone else’s instruction. While a meditative state isn’t quite the same as the bliss of subspace, it is something I can easily attain every Monday night that serves as an emotional reset for the week ahead. Additionally, it’s a small group that accepts me as nonbinary, never once raising an eyebrow, no matter how I’m presenting that evening.

Friendships and Relationships

I do wonder about friendships lost, and whether I was unfair in expecting more, or perhaps just treasured them differently because being neurodivergent makes personal connections so rare for me, but that’s still a work in progress. I’d be delighted were any of those friendships be rekindled, but I’m also accepting of the fact that maybe they just reached a natural end beyond my personal expectations. Social gatherings will always be a challenge, but my Goddess and I know how to measure my anxiety now, and how to find escape routes that allow me a few moments to breathe. I did get out to a local trans meeting last month, which I’m proud of myself for doing, and I’m looking forward to attending the local BDSM/fetish munch next month.

As for Goddess, she did heal and is looking better than ever, ready for the next stage on her journey, which involves returning to school in the new year. Where that would have once filled me with anxiety (another break in routine, with additional expenses), I’m excited for her, focused on how I can support her, and looking ahead to what that means for our future. I still feel a healthy amount of jealousy over her poly relationships, but I’m also emotionally aware enough to know that a big part of that is envy. Friendships are hard for me, and relationships are even harder, but I’m working on opening up to people. If I had one wish for the new year, one goal for personal development and growth, it’d be to develop a regular, ongoing dynamic with another Dom/me in the area, one that complements what Goddess and I enjoy.

The Path Forward

Coming out of all that with a fresh understanding and a new outlook on life, I’ve been able to be social again, engage with (small groups of) people, open myself to new experiences, and even find joy in things that once only filled me with dread. I’m reading again, reviewing again (at my own pace), and enjoying that aspect of my life again. I’ve thrown myself into editing (a passion that never really left me), weighing in on nearly a million words this year, and I’m excited about the projects and authors I already have lined up for the new year.

To top it all off, we came out to our families this holiday season. We talked about my being nonbinary and neurodivergent, and we discussed being polyamorous in an open marriage. No, we didn’t get into the finer details of bondage and kink, but we laid everything else on the table, and  (as Goddess likes to say) we are proudly loving out loud.

And that, I am pleased to say, puts me in a place where I can end the year better than I began it.

© 2022 Bending the Bookshelf All Rights Reserved

Fetish & Fantasy Freebie Friday - Putting the TG in TGIF!

Well, if it's Friday, then it must be time to bend our way into the weekend with Fetish & Fantasy Freebie Friday!

Every Friday I search through the free titles on Amazon, looking for those that might be of interest to similarly bent readers, fans, and lovers. Even if you don't have a Kindle, you can still download the titles through one of Amazon's free reading applications.

Please do be sure to check the price before downloading anything, as most freebies are limited time offers, and some are specific to certain regions.[image error]



While you're on Amazon, if you'd like to support my weekly efforts, could I kindly ask that you give latest erotic creations a read/review!

Enjoy!  © 2022 Bending the Bookshelf All Rights Reserved

Book Review: A Domme for Christmas by B.J. Frazier (erotic romance, femdom)

Title: A Domme for Christmas
Author: B.J. Frazier
Publication Date: November 2, 2022
Genres: Erotic Romance
Protagonist Gender: Male
Fetishes: Femdom, Orgasm Denial, BDSM

A Domme for Christmas is one of those stories that works on multiple levels. A Christmas story about the making of a Christmas movie, it’s both an homage to and parody of the whole Hallmark Christmas movie genre (and, to some extent, Hollywood in general). There’s romance, humor, and a bit of magic to it, with characters who are living the genre even as they film it, but the real magic comes in how B.J. Frazier brings it all together.

Memphis Clark is the main character of the story, a successful director who feels constrained by the saccharine Christmas movie genre, and a successful lover who feels unfulfilled by girlfriends who are too nice. He’s a submissive at heart – we can see it, especially in how he reacts to the BDSM tales of Thane, his assistant director – but he’s never accepted or explored it. Even as the arrival of a femdom-dream-come-true Producer tests his inner resolve, he still insists on chasing the same nice girls.

There are so many wonderful relationships in the story, with platonic, romantic, and erotic overlapping in increasingly surprising ways, that each chapter is like opening a new present. It’s Thane who provides most of the erotic fuel, regaling Memphis (and the reader) with tales of his BDSM sessions, including those with Holly, the new producer, and I just loved him to death. He’s the perfect submissive, blissfully happy in his service, and open to anything his Domme requires, even when that expression of submissive sexuality lies outside his romantic attractions.

Speaking of Holly, she’s just one of the amazing women in this tale. There’s also Sara, the pretty girl who never had time for Memphis in high school, and Tessa, the wild girl he retreated from after she dared him to prank a teacher. There’s a lot of baggage there – memories, emotions, expectations, hopes, and desires – and it all contributes to Memphis finding his way in life and love.

Again, I don’t want to spoil any of the magic, but Frazier does a lovely job of exploring traditional dungeon scenes of BDSM, more domestic aspects of female-led relationships, and even some fantasy scenes of extreme submission. It’s the Christmas theme that connects everything, and when the wink-and-nod Hallmark movie humor fully indulges in the magic, it’s absolutely beautiful.

Rating: ♀ ♀ ♀  ♀  ♀

My sincere thanks to the author for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

© 2022 Bending the Bookshelf All Rights Reserved

Fetish & Fantasy Freebie Friday - Putting the TG in TGIF!

Well, if it's Friday, then it must be time to bend our way into the weekend with Fetish & Fantasy Freebie Friday!

Every Friday I search through the free titles on Amazon, looking for those that might be of interest to similarly bent readers, fans, and lovers. Even if you don't have a Kindle, you can still download the titles through one of Amazon's free reading applications.

Please do be sure to check the price before downloading anything, as most freebies are limited time offers, and some are specific to certain regions.[image error]



While you're on Amazon, if you'd like to support my weekly efforts, could I kindly ask that you give latest erotic creations a read/review!

Enjoy!  © 2022 Bending the Bookshelf All Rights Reserved

Domesticated 3 by Shadoman (comics femdom chastity)

 My admiration for illustrated delights of Shadoman continues, courtesy once again of Amazing Transformation Comics.

Domesticated 3 is the latest in Shadoman's series of erotic tales about feminization and submission, each with a different cast of characters, so they can be read in any order. If you've missed the first two issues, you can read my reviews here and here.
While the first two stories were happier tales of self-discovery and blossoming as a sissy, Amber and Donnie start down a darker path, with his feminization (and humiliation) being a punishment for cheating. It all starts innocently enough when they decide to get into online porn as a way of making up for a cash shortfall on their farm and find themselves overnight sensations. A little experimentation with BDSM makes them even more popular, and soon they have enough money to not just save the farm but build a proper basement dungeon.
Many of the early BDSM scenes are of Amber in bondage, tied up, restrained, and subjected to multiple forced orgasms. It's a side of things we don't get to normally see in Shadoman's comics and it's an absolute delight. Once Amber uncovers his infidelity, though, things shift from forced orgasm and erotic bondage to harsh punishment and behavior modification. As cruel as it may seem to Donnie, however, the sight of the chastity cage and mechanical vibrating ass reamer certainly sent pleasant thrills down my spine! It's not until the second half of the story that we get to the feminization, and with the introduction of subliminal mental conditioning, and watching Donna become accustomed to her new self and new life is wonderful - especially when she's introduced to hunky, well-hung Lance!
Shadoman's comics are always a visual delight, but this one offered a few new surprises that delighted even me. There's a bondage saddle near the end that is exquisite, some ballet boots that I'd love to borrow from Donna, and some beautiful contrasts between her tiny chastity cage and the massive dildos and penises used to penetrate her. The close-ups of her ruined sissygams are a delight as well, scenes you can almost taste.
Like I said, Domesticated 3 is a bit crueler than the first two books, more focused on punishment than shared pleasure, but Shadoman always finds his way to a satisfying conclusion.

Shadoman is a CG artist who enjoys telling stories through 3D comic art. Originally from the Mid-west, he now resides in Southern California. He is a Viet-Nam vet in his mid-60’s, married to a wonderful gal who is also his best friend and text editor. A film buff with an extensive library, it was his passion for film as a young teen that was his vehicle to escape and expand his own creative mind and become a storyteller.

https://www.renderotica.com/artists/shadoman.aspx

Reviewed by Sally © 2022 Bending the Bookshelf All Rights Reserved

Book Review: Kat by S.A. Freeman (erotic romance, lesbian)

Title: Kat
Author: S.A. Freeman
Publication Date: September 29, 2022
Genres: Erotic Romance
Protagonist Gender: Female
Sexuality: Lesbian

S.A. Freeman's debut novel, Kat, is a fascinating, heartfelt tale that tackles very difficult topics of institutionalized slavery, violence, and abuse, and successfully weaves a fairy tale romance out of them. 

Kat is an indentured slave, a young woman caught one time too many for petty theft and sold into slavery by her government. Her last Master was a monster who abused her regularly, and it's because of him that she's on the block again. Alexa is a successful businesswoman with an ultra-charming butler and a sprawling estate. She's looking for a new slave to love, and that's what brings her to pay such an exorbitant amount for Kat.

What follows is a beautiful romance about two damaged souls looking to heal by finding love in one another. For Kat, that means accepting that not all owners are like her Master, and learning to slowly trust in her Mistress, all the while fearing that violence is inevitable. For Alexa, that means being patient and kind, and finding ways to get through to her slave, teasing her open without breaking her apart. It also means healing from the absence of her last slave, whom she loved just as dearly, but that's a mysterious subplot I'll say no more about.

Kat is a story that's tough in parts and tender in others, but where Freeman's real talent comes in is making us care about her characters. There are multiple risks and threads in the story, but it's wanting to see Kat and Alexa happy that keeps you reading. Yes, there's some kink inserted into the romance (including a bondage trust exercise that was executed to perfection!), but this is a story about feelings, not feels, and it succeeds beautifully.

Rating: ♀ ♀ ♀  ♀

My sincere thanks to the author for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

© 2022 Bending the Bookshelf All Rights Reserved

Fetish & Fantasy Freebie Friday - Putting the TG in TGIF!

Well, if it's Friday, then it must be time to bend our way into the weekend with Fetish & Fantasy Freebie Friday!

Every Friday I search through the free titles on Amazon, looking for those that might be of interest to similarly bent readers, fans, and lovers. Even if you don't have a Kindle, you can still download the titles through one of Amazon's free reading applications.

Please do be sure to check the price before downloading anything, as most freebies are limited time offers, and some are specific to certain regions.[image error]



While you're on Amazon, if you'd like to support my weekly efforts, could I kindly ask that you give latest erotic creations a read/review!


Enjoy!  © 2022 Bending the Bookshelf All Rights Reserved

Book Review: The Office Gurl by Lilly Lustwood (erotic romance, transgender)

Title: The Office Gurl
Author: Lilly Lustwood
Publication Date: November 16, 2022
Genres: Erotic Romance
Protagonist Gender: Transgender
Sexuality: Bisexual

I've had the pleasure of knowing Lilly Lustwood for a while now and have always been attracted to her spirit of fun and adventure. Whether it's in how she writes, markets her work, or just chats with others, she's always so upbeat and kink-positive. She excites me, and I knew her stories would as well, so I'm delighted to have the opportunity to return the pleasure with a review.

When Lilly told me The Office Gurl was one of her favorites, I knew that was where I had to start. There's a lot of gender exploration going on with this story, with a femboy turned crossdressing twink turned transgender woman (and his transgender best friend), and the story explores the full range of sexuality, but what pulls it all together are two things - the plot and the narrative.

I want to take a moment to talk narrative first because a story is only as good as it's telling. This is well-told, with lots of wonderful detail, and some of the word choices, which might otherwise seem almost formal, lend it an exotic air. More than that, though, it's the originality of the metaphors and the  cuteness of the descriptions within the narrative that made me smile with delight - things like "her estrogen-laced candy stick."

Getting back to the plot, there's a lot going on here to admire, starting with how Aaron's transformation into Amanda gives her a sense of power and a newfound confidence that soon has her sleeping her way to success. Rather than stop at that erotic trope, though, Lilly follows the story through and explores the consequences of such activities, allowing for real growth and development in Amanda's character. What seems like nothing more than a fun romp slowly develops deeper significance.

In terms of erotic content, The Office Gurl has plenty of fun scenes of sexual exploration, including some wonderful first-time experiences that beautifully blend anticipation with arousal. The romance doesn't really come to the forefront until the last few chapters, but it makes for a wonderful happily-ever-after.

Rating: ♀ ♀ ♀  ♀

My sincere thanks to the author for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

© 2022 Bending the Bookshelf All Rights Reserved

NEW RELEASE: Gurls Gone Wild: Naughty in Nature by Sally Bend

When four transwomen women come together in a boundless orgy of outdoor hedonism and exhibitionism, their fantasies, fetishes, and desires will become one.

Each summer, Heather and her friends gather far off the beaten trail, deep in the sacred spaces of the outdoors, to indulge one another in an afternoon of lustful passion. Each has a distinctly unique expression of her gender (from strap-ons and chastity cages to cute little nubs and magnificent erections), along with their own wants, needs, and desires.

They have their respective limits and boundaries as well, but when an accidental slip of a hand leads to a moment of sexual awakening, they’ll discover that those limits are more flexible than they’d ever thought before. It’s an afternoon of discovery, erotic firsts, and orgasmic awakenings.

GURLS GONE WILD: NAUGHTY IN NATURE is explicit transgender erotica for those who enjoy the infinite possibilities of tops, bottoms, Dommes, and submissives loving one another. It’s a story of four trans women exploring themselves without reservation, a tale of coming together . . . in more ways than one.

READ IT ON AMAZON & SMASHWORDS

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© 2022 Bending the Bookshelf All Rights Reserved