P.A. Wikoff's Blog
November 9, 2020
Launch Eve
Today is the eve of my book being released, and my emotions are twisted up in a knot.
One might think that after spending a year writing, revising, editing, formatting, cover designing, and interior designing, one might be excited to show all of their hard work to the world. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Today, my book is perfect and unflawed.
Today, this is some of my finest work.
Today, everyone is going love it, and all my work and sacrifice is worth the effort.
Tomorrow…is another story.
Tomorrow, the truth will shatter my hopes. Someone will give me a one-star review because I did too good of a job making an annoying character be annoying.
Tomorrow, friends and family will opt to not like my post, for fear that it will let on that they saw it and that I might call them out for not buying it.
Tomorrow, sales will show a future that I might not recoup the cost of the beautiful cover art I commissioned.
Being an optimist means that I’m always disappointed, and this is just one of those times. Every book launch, I go through this struggle. It is always the same.
However…
The day after tomorrow, I will start that new WIP I’ve been itching to start.
The day after tomorrow, I will trick myself into believing that this new project is different; that this one will make me whole.
The day after tomorrow, I will fall in love with the whole process all over again.
Take care, and thank you for reading any of my work. It means the world to me.
-Pieter
January 2, 2019
Cast Your Vote with Reviews
I had someone ask me what the hold up was with the next Felyin Lore book, and why I am writing other stuff instead of continuing with that series. Honestly, it is a hard book for me to sell. In the year and a half since its release, I’ve done countless giveaways and everything in my power, and I’ve only managed to muster up 10 measly reviews. I have a lot more stories to tell in the Feylin realm, but at this moment the interest isn’t there.
If you want more of those books, just leave a review on Amazon and that will tell me that people are ready for the next installment.
This doesn’t strictly apply to that series. If you want me to continue with Tarnished Lands, WAR X-TREME, Orange Monkey, or anything else I’ve done, nothing keeps me going like reviews. Without reviews, I have no way of knowing if anyone is actually enjoying my work.
To put it in simple terms, I will work on whatever people are excited for. And that requires feedback.
Also, if you email me with a link to your review, I’ll give you a free ebook of your choice.
All the best,
PA
July 21, 2018
How to be Inspired
Recently, someone asked for help on how to get inspired to write. Once I opened the dialogue, I soon found that they didn’t really want advice, but rather, they wanted someone to stroke their ego and tell them their words are worth reading. This was a “fishing for complements” type of trap. I gave the bait a little nibble but didn’t bite, because I know that this opens a much larger (and much nastier) can of words than I wanted to handle.
I’ve seen this situation a lot lately where writers beg people into giving them praise. Sure, I like to be told I did a good job or didn’t completely mess something up. I don’t know about you or how you’ve been raised, but if I have to ask someone for a complement, I don’t really believe it to be real. Maybe it’s hidden deep, deep down in your subconscious, but you know the truth. Some people like to pretend. They do it all the time: pretend to be successful, pretend to be important, pretend to be happy. But for me, I cannot pull the wool over my own eyes. Believe me, I’ve tried. Even when I do get a good review or some other form of praise, I have this sudden urgency too look behind the curtains for a camera–as if this is some sick prank show, setup to toy with my emotions. And, how long does that feeling last before you’re searching for the next one like an addict?
In the incident mentioned above, I simply walked away and didn’t want to start down that rabbit hole. It is dark and lonely down here and I see nothing furry or cute. I think there are a lot of people out there that are jumping on the self-publishing bandwagon for the wrong reasons. They’re doing it for praise and/or money. The truth is that there is little to no money, or praise. It’s just a rat race of cannibals where eating each other is the only way to survive.
I lose thousands of dollars on every book I print. There’s cover art, editing, title setup fees, corrections, marketing, exposure, giveaways, narrations, and the list goes on and on. For example, if I spend $60 on a promotion for my book to sell for $0.99, on a good day I might make back $6.00. That means, I am paying $10 for every $1 earned. And as for praise, just lookup any author on Goodreads. Look at the vile words strangers can put together to ruin a writer’s day after spouting, “I was giving this book for free in exchange for a honest review.” Honestly doesn’t mean cruelty, but that is a whole other issue.
So, this brings me back full circle. If you, like my friend, are having trouble getting inspired to write, here is my advice. As a writer, you’re always going to fear that no one is ever going to give a shit. It’s the nature of the beast. No amount of kindness is going to make you want to write any more or any less. So, let’s not pretend. You have to write for you, not them. Just vomit as many words as you can and worry about cleaning up the mess later. I write as a form of therapy–to trap the demons in a paper jail guarded by letters. You can’t force it or trick yourself into doing it. If you don’t feel it, do something you do feel like doing. It will come. It always does. And when inspiration bites you on the leg like a starving mosquito, give in to the itch. Don’t stop scratching until the wound is raw and your hands are bloody with words.
No one will ever love a piece the way a writer does, because they will never know the pain that brought it out of you.
December 25, 2017
The Next Part of Me
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I’ve run into many authors, big and small, who begrudgingly admit to writing “angsty poetry.” They always have to preface it by adding the word “phase” to justify such a time in their lives that has long since passed.
Never one for reading, writing, or anything to do with poetry, I too once turned my nose up at the notion. The perception I had of myself was that of a “fantasy writer” only. And if it weren’t for the many literary journals and various contests that I participated in, that perception would have remained intact.
During this process of expanding myself, I learned that I enjoyed writing outside my own image as much as and in some cases more than in my genre of choice.
Each one of the twenty-eight stories in this anthology involves a piece of myself or a problem that I was trying to slay. Writing has inherently become my own personal therapy session, with myself acting as both the therapist and the couch warmer.
As for poetry in particular, it was a hard hurdle for me to overcome. But once I did, it didn’t matter what the words said or the way they were laid out. In the end, I found that I just felt better on the subject. It was as if transferring my feelings to the page made them lose all power over me.
So, like other authors before me, this might be my “angsty poetry phase” or it might just be me. In either case, I am proud that I made it out the other side, from the blankness that follows “The End” and on to another adventure, changed for the better.
Order here
June 8, 2017
It Is Here
This has been a long road for me, with lots of mixed emotions—like a shrimp cocktail where some are fresh, others have turned, and I’m pretty damn allergic. I started writing this book in 2007 and originally embedded many encrypted messages deep within the text. This was an attempt to save someone close to me from a very toxic situation.
I did set her free, only too briefly, and the results have crippled my demeanor. Like a lost puppy eager to get fed or for another hit on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper, she went back. No matter how bad it was, it’s all she knows. Now, she no longer knows me or anyone else who cares about her.
My failure to rescue her was intertwined with my failure to write. Years went by, and I couldn’t think about putting pen to paper without being reminded of the time I didn’t exceed my potential.
Recovery is a hard pill to swallow. It chokes you on the way down, and just when you think you couldn’t endure any more torture, you panic and gasp the smallest breath—keeping you alive, barely. Letting her go has allowed me to return to my writing. Over the past of couple years, I’ve rewritten 60% of the book, scrubbing away all traces of her from the manuscript and my mind.
Finishing this novel is not merely a transition period to my next endeavor. It’s my way of burying the demons that have been clawing at my being since the day I put everything on the line.
This is me forgiving myself for not saving her.
https://www.amazon.com/Feylin-Lore-Reflections-P-Wikoff-ebook/dp/B071VPR6LF/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1496940995&sr=8-1&keywords=feylin+lore[image error]
May 16, 2017
Should I Buy a Barcode from Bowker?
While finishing my book “Feylin Lore: Reflections,” I ran into a situation where I needed to purchase an ISBN to sell through Ingram Spark. One ISBN from Bowker costs $125, and 10 cost less than the price of three ($295). Of course, I bought the ten because I know that after my 90 day exclusive period with Kindle/Amazon ends, I will need to purchase a second one for Smashwords (I think it is due to Ibooks format). So, buying ten was a no-brainer for my situation.
Now, I noticed that Bowker had a bundle to add a barcode into the mix for $320. The normal barcode price is $25, so you save $5 by adding it to your bundle.
I fully intended to use the barcode I bought from Bowker with the hardcover version of my book on Ingram Spark, but when I used their cover generator, I found that it automatically generates a barcode for you…and for FREE!
In short, even if you plan on self-publishing with Createspace, Lulu or some other print on demand site (other than Ingram Spark), as long as you have an ISBN, you can get a free barcode.
Good luck,
-PA
April 11, 2017
Sunset Lover
While writing my novella, “The Harrowing Halfbreed,” I was entranced with a particular song, “Sunset Lover” by Petite Biscuit. Something about the melodic tone and beautiful high-pitch vocals put me in a perfect mood to write that particular story. In the way that the theme song to the X-files set the stage for something bizarre and unknown, this song captured the mood of my story.
For about a week straight, I listened only to Sunset Lover on repeat on Spotify. These were long 12+ hour days of listening to the same 3:57 song. That is roughly 16.8 times an hour. There is a point where you forget when it begins and when it ends, as if you’re stuck inside an alluring moment. I was caught, and I never wanted to leave the trap.
My family begged and pleaded for me to end their torment, while tapping their feet and dancing to the tune. They hated it, while simultaneously loving it.
I remember having a long-winded tirade about how this was going to be the only song I would listen to for the rest of my life. This prompted my daughter to threaten to assist in ending my days if the song didn’t stop.
But, I wouldn’t be swayed. Not until writing those two final words “The End” did I give my ears a long-deserved rest.
Similar to how a drug addict uses methadone to wean themself off heroin, I had to listen to other Petite Biscuit songs to come back to society again. And eventually, I branched out to the normalcy of the radio.
I was almost fully recovered and had gone more than 30 days without even a taste of “Sunset Lover.” In the realm of 12-step programs, I would have received a coin for my efforts.
Then today, I got this email:
A thank you,
from Petit Biscuit
Hey, it’s Mehdi from Petit Biscuit. I’m excited to announce that since my April tour dates have sold out, I’m coming back to the US in August and offering my top Spotify fans special presale access to tickets below!
I’m humbled by the warm welcome the North American audience has given me, and I hope I can give them as much, if not more, in the future! I’m really happy that Spotify is partnering with us, helping bring my music to new ears every day. Can’t wait to be on the road. ❤
Under full disclosure, I am listening to the song as I write this post. But don’t judge me until you’ve gone down the same road, which brought me to you now.
I still think everyone should read my novella while playing “Sunset Lover” on repeat. I don’t care what my wife says, it’s much better that way 
February 3, 2017
Routineology
Check out this link for a video, and 250 word essay about my writing process.
http://1888.center/routineology-p-a-wikoff/
-P.A. Wikoff
January 22, 2017
Feylin Lore: Reflections Cover Concept
[image error]It’s been a long time coming, but here is the concept for my novel Feylin Lore: Reflections. This is not the final design, just something I’ve been playing with.
The wonderful cover art is done by Miranda Meeks. She really captures the essence of the story, and I am fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to work with her.
January 6, 2017
A Never Year
I know a lot of you are happy to see 2016 go. For me, this year will always be remembered fondly. Around this time last year, I was involved in a car accident that could have taken my life. Tragedy has a way of realigning your priorities. Since then, I’ve spent everyday following my heart, bending to its will. Never have I spent more days on holiday with my family. If 2016 had never happened, I wouldn’t have been able to hold my three nephews, who brighten the world with their smiles of innocence. The best day I had this year was spent with my wonderful wife. We looked at each others’ tear-laden eyes after the end of a long journey. Nothing can take the moments of 2016 way from me. I only hope to live long enough for another year to surpass it. Merry Christmas everyone and happy New Year.
