Carlton Mellick III's Blog

CLOWNFELLAS – Signed Limited edition Hardcover

CLOWNFELLAS: TALES OF THE BINZO FAMILY

In a topsy-turvy world where clowns are killers and crooks, Little Bigtop is a three-ring circus of crime, and no syndicate is more dangerous than the Binzo family. From the wildly original mind of Carlton Mellick III comes the short-story collection ClownFellas—an epic mob saga where life is cheap and the gags will slay you.

For years, the hard-boiled capos of the Binzo family have run all of the funny business in Little Bigtop, from the clown brothels to the illegal comedy trade. But hard times have befallen the Binzos now that Le Mystère, the French clown Mafia, has started moving in and trying to take over the city. If that weren’t enough, they’ve got to deal with the cops, the Feds, the snitches, the carnies, the mysterious hit man Mr. Pogo, and the mutant clowns over in the Sideshow district. With the odds stacked against them, the Binzos must fight to survive . . . or die laughing.

COVER ART BY RICCARDO LA BELLA AND ADA PICCOLO

ILLUSTRATIONS BY RICCARDO LA BELLA

CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

568 PAGES

LIMITED TO 500 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN AUGUST 2025

$120 plus shipping

USA PREORDER

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SAUSAGEY SANTA – Signed Limited Edition Hardcover

SAUSAGEY SANTA

The Fry Family must help a mutated Santa Claus save Christmas from an evil menace known as Frosty the Neo-Nazi Snowman in this 2006 Bizarro Christmas Comedy Classic.

COVER ART BY TIN BUI

ILLUSTRATIONS BY JOEY BARR

CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

172 PAGES

LIMITED TO 500 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN APRIL 2025

$60 plus shipping

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OUT NOW: “Scorpion Ranch”

My 69th book, SCORPION RANCH, is now available at amazon.

SCORPION RANCH

Daniel Munch is in a toxic relationship, but not just because his girlfriend is selfish and manipulative. She is also literally toxic-born with glands in her mouth and genitals that spew deadly poison. Every time they kiss or make love, he puts his life at risk. She could kill him at any moment and he has no choice but to trust that she would never do anything to cause him harm.

But when they decide to get married, Daniel is pressured into doing the switch-a procedure where couples swap bodies in order to better understand each other. For one month, he will become her girlfriend while she will become his boyfriend. It’s only for one month, so what would be the harm in giving it a shot? Surely it wouldn’t utterly destroy each and every aspect of his entire life…

Now available at amazon.com

ELECTRIC JESUS CORPSE – Signed Limited Edition Hardcover

ELECTRIC JESUS CORPSE

Available for the first time in over a decade, Carlton Mellick III’s Electric Jesus Corpse returns to print one final time in this collectors edition hardcover, limited to only 500 copies. Written in 1995 when he was seventeen years old, Mellick’s earliest and most experimental novel follows Jesus Christ’s twelve apostles as they struggle to survive in a surreal dystopian version of our modern day world during the zombie apocalypse. This book is a prime example of Mellick’s proto-bizarro writing before the success of his first novel, Satan Burger. Although much rougher and more unrefined than his later works, Electric Jesus Corpse shows where the author came from as a writer in his youth. Featuring 12 illustrations the author did for the book while he was still in high school.

For completionists and hardcore fans only.

This is the last time this book will ever see print.

WARNING: This book was written by a teenager in the 1990s who was trying to be as edgy and offensive as possible. Read at your own risk.

COVER ART BY CORO COFEROSA

ILLUSTRATIONS BY CARLTON MELLICK III

CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

602 PAGES

LIMITED TO 500 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN DECEMBER 2024

$120 plus shipping

USA ORDER

INTERNATIONAL ORDER

If you do not use paypal, you can also preorder books through The CM3 Library Square Store.

NOTE: Books are shipped once per month via media mail, so it can take up to two months to receive an order.

SWEET STORY – Signed Limited Edition Hardcover

SWEET STORY

Sally is an odd little girl. It’s not because she dresses as if she’s from the Edwardian era or spends most of her time playing with creepy talking dolls. It’s because she chases rainbows as if they were butterflies. She believes that if she finds the end of the rainbow then magical things will happen to her–leprechauns will shower her with gold and fairies will grant her every wish. But when she actually does find the end of a rainbow one day, and is given the opportunity to wish for whatever she wants, Sally asks for something that she believes will bring joy to children all over the world. She wishes that it would rain candy forever. She had no idea that her innocent wish would lead to the extinction of all life on earth.

Sweet Story is a children’s book gone horribly wrong. What starts as a cute, charming tale of rainbows and wishes soon becomes a vicious, unrelenting tale of survival in an inhospitable world full of cannibals and rapists.

The Sweet Story hardcover is sold in two cover variations.

COVER #1

COVER ART BY CORO COFEROSA

ILLUSTRATIONS BY JOEY BARR

CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

200 PAGES

LIMITED TO 250 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN SEPTEMBER 2024

$60 plus shipping

USA PREORDER

INTERNATIONAL PREORDER

COVER #2

COVER ART BY EMMANUEL OMENDA JR.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY JOEY BARR

CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

200 PAGES

LIMITED TO 250 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN SEPTEMBER 2024

$60 plus shipping

USA PREORDER

INTERNATIONAL PREORDER

THE ULTRA FUCKERS – Signed Limited Edition Hardcover

THE ULTRA FUCKERS

Tony dreads the idea of going to his wife’s company dinner party in Eagle Hills; the new upper-middleclass gated community that just popped up outside of Scottsdale, AZ. He hates these Southwest-style planned suburban neighborhoods. All of the streets look the same. All of the houses look the same. All of the people look the same. Because everything in Eagle Hills looks exactly the same, Tony has trouble finding the dinner party. He quickly becomes lost in the sea of red tile roofs. The streets seem to go on forever. The addresses don’t seem to make any sense.

After hours of navigating the suburban labyrinth, Tony discovers that there is something terribly wrong with the Eagle Hills gated community. There is something unnatural about the houses around him. There is something inhuman about the people staring at him through the windows. And no matter how far he drives, he can’t seem to find his way out.

COVER ART BY EMMANUEL OMENDA JR.

CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

132 PAGES

LIMITED TO 500 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN AUGUST 2024

$50 plus shipping

USA ORDER

INTERNATIONAL ORDER

OUT NOW: “Apeship”

My latest novel, APESHIP, is now available at amazon. This book is a follow up to my books APESHIT and CLUSTERFUCK, and is another splatterpunk satire for people with a gruesome sense of humor, but is a stand alone story and all three books can be read out of order.

APESHIP

An intolerable prick takes his weird daughter, his college-aged girlfriend, her douchey brother and her awkward best friend on a boating trip to show off his new yacht. But when they come across an abandoned cruise ship in the middle of the ocean, they find themselves hunted by a group of sadistic mutant killers hell-bent on keeping them as their immortal playthings for all eternity.

Now available at amazon.com

CANNIBALS OF CANDYLAND – Limited Edition Hardcover

THE CANNIBALS OF CANDYLAND

There exists a race of cannibals who are made out of candy. They live in an underground world filled with lollipop forests and gumdrop goblins. During the day, while you are away at work, they come above ground and prowl our streets for food. Their prey: your children. They lure young boys and girls to them with their sweet scent and bright colorful candy coating, then rip them apart with razor sharp teeth and claws.

When he was a child, Franklin Pierce witnessed the death of his siblings at the hands of a candy woman with pink cotton candy hair. Since that day, the candy people have become his obsession. He has spent his entire life trying to prove that they exist. And after discovering the entrance to the underground world of the candy people, Franklin finds himself venturing into their sugary domain. His mission: capture one of them and bring it back, dead or alive.

COVER ART BY CORO COFEROSA

ILLUSTRATIONS BY ZIGENDEMONIC

CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

240 PAGES

LIMITED TO 500 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

SHIPS IN MAY 2024

USA PREORDER

INTERNATIONAL PREORDER

COVER ART SUBMISSIONS

I am currently seeking cover artists for The CM3 Library collector’s edition hardcover series. Submission guidelines are below.

COVER ART

I am looking to commission cover images in a variety of styles from horror to science-fiction to surrealism to erotica and everything in between. I am only interested in traditional art or digital paintings that are of professional quality. ABSOLUTELY NO AI-GENERATED OR AI-ENHANCED ARTWORK. I am also not interested in photography or photo-manipulations.

PAYMENT: $500-1000 (depending on complexity and popularity of the book)

Send a link to your online portfolio to cm3library@eraserheadpress.com. If I think you’re a good fit for the series I’ll email you back.

OUT NOW: “Why I Married a Clown Girl From the Dimension of Death”

My latest book, Why I Married a Clown Girl From the Dimension of Death, is now available at amazon.

WHY I MARRIED A CLOWN GIRL FROM THE DIMENSION OF DEATH

Timothy is terrified of clowns. He’s always found them disturbing and creepy and weird. But now that our world is besieged by clown-like invaders from another dimension, his phobia is spiraling out of control. Timothy has no idea how to handle living in a world full of these cartoonish creatures until he meets a clown girl named Puppy Caterpillars who happens to be the cutest, sweetest girl he’s ever encountered. They fall in love and Timothy believes his phobia has finally been cured. But after they get married, Timothy discovers his phobia might have been the only thing keeping him alive. Because the clowns from the dimension of death are even more terrifying and dangerous than he ever imagined and the woman that he married might just be the most horrifying creature to ever crawl out of his deepest, darkest nightmares.

Available at amazon.com