Nicky Bond's Blog, page 25

Judge My Book By Its Cover, Part 1...

Thanks, Shiv!Once again, overwhelming evidence has been presented that indicates I'm not as clever as I think I am. Remember when I riffed about my delusion over the fluency of my German? Remember when I equated that to the depressing realisation I'm far less computer literate than I thought? Well buckle up, folks. I'm taking you on another wild ride. Let me talk you through the latest lesson in humility that's been handed down to me. This one's a cracker.
The lounge wall of dreams!Back in Decemb...

Cultural Highlights of Lockdown 3...

Nature is healing. Or perhaps it's old consumerist ways that are healing? That's probably more like it. Anyway I'm wearing eyeliner again. Three days a week at least. And my car is getting used more. Then last week I went on a wholly frivolous trip to a garden centre in search of outdoor solar lights. These will be added to the no-longer-working outdoor solar lights that I already own, building up layer upon layer of useless wire adornment, draped over random trees, bushes, and eaves. Like I say...

Be Mindful About Norwegian Blankets...

Smith and Dench, lost in
Florence. The little known
prequel to Home Alone:
Lost in New York.In 1985's Room With a View, Judi Dench and Maggie Smith are wandering the backstreets of Florence when they get lost. 'Two lone females in an unknown city. Now that's what I call an adventure' Judi asserts. It always reminds me of a holiday I once had. 2005. Oslo. Me and my mate. Two women with open minds and Ryanair tickets, living the dream. We were there for five days in May. My main memory is there was ...

'When Do Parents Sleep?' and Other Burning Questions?

Last week I journeyed to a foreign land. Many of you live there already. Some may be regular visitors. There'll be others, like me, that arrive and know nothing of its customs and traditions. The learning curve is steep; every moment providing a hands on lesson in alien life. Nothing is familiar. Nothing makes sense. Reason is useless. The land is established and set in its ways. It will not change for a visitor. The visitor must twist themselves into unrecognisable shapes for their own survival...

Stick a Fork in Me, I'm (Nearly) Done...

OK, Sophia.PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: This week I will not be talking about editing. I PROMISE. I feel it's important to state that from the off, because when I looked back over my - brace yourselves - 'archive' I can see a recurring theme. Since starting the writing of Assembling the Wingpeople in June 2019, I've written about editing (and all it's rubbishness) a total of nine times. NINE TIMES. Jeez. It's such a long-winded, labourious process, you'd have thought I'd want to ignore it on the...

Never Too Old to Learn...

And so it came to pass. Three hundred and sixty-five days after my 1st lockdown birthday, I had a second. Cue tiny violins and an outpouring of sympathy. (Sarcasm klaxon. Obviously don't.)
 The forced fun of 2020Despite the emerging pattern, this birthday felt very different from last year's. My overriding memory of March 2020 was a determination to force enjoyment into my day. I had to do something to blot out the panic and fear that was gripping the nation. That could all be dealt with later on...

Fiddly? Dull? Welcome to My Typesetting World...

I think this is supposed to depict 
someone ogling porn. But it's also a
dramatic reconstruction of every
few seconds of my current life
as I spot irregularly spaced words
and the wrong font in the wrong place. The formatting of Assembling the Wingpeople's interior continues apace. Yes, I know you didn't ask, but I'm telling you anyway. It's fiddly, a bit dull, and just a little time consuming. But hey, that's my life right now. Happy Monday! Despite the painstaking nature of my current working d...

I'm Sick of Gambling...

Last Monday was International Women's Day. It was a normal(ish) day for me, mostly spent on my laptop. But reading about impressive projects and campaigning women whenever I had a writing break, felt empowering. By the end of the day, I'd heard or read more female voices than male ones. Not the norm, of course, in a patriarchal society, but it felt weirdly supportive. I found my head was a little higher and I walked a little taller because of it. 
The following day I was right back in my place. D...

Smashing the Patriarchy One Challenge at a Time...

Shout out to the international women in the crowd! Helloooo! I too am an international woman. Or at least I was until COVID. These days I'm more of a domestic woman, sadly. Although even pre-pandemic, my thrill of air travel had dampened somewhat, with my developing conscience over climate change. When 'all this' is over, perhaps I'll do a European inter-railing holiday instead of flying somewhere. Except Brexit makes that way tricker now. Maybe I could get a ferry. Tour the Scottish highlands? ...

Ich spreche weder fließend Deutsch noch Word...

Here's a fun fact! I have five years of German lessons under my belt resulting in the triumph of a GCSE at grade C. Impressed? Yeah, course you are. Take that, World! Or should I say 'Nimm das, Welt!' Despite my quick usage of Google Translate in the last sentence, my German grade C makes me feel utterly fluent almost all of the time. I'm bilingual. A proper German speaker. You'd be forgiven for mistaking me for Angela Merkel or Steffi Graf. Or Dr. Ruth.

Back in the days when we 
paid to see the p...