Amy Makechnie's Blog, page 16
January 3, 2023
The Children Say I Mine Their Tragedy for Book Deals
We are at the tail end of a wonderful holiday season. It was one of those Christmases when nearly everything was wonderful, when the stomach bug didn’t go through the family, no one got stuck in Chicago and had to sleep on the airport floor, and everyone’s luggage arrived with the people. Because we’ve had those experiences, too (chicago. four kids. floor. horrid).
timers on camera apps are awesome…mostlyAnd now tomorrow, after 2.5 weeks in the same house(!) three of our four children + new son-in-law fly away for another college semester out west. When your children are young, you can’t imagine siblings not not being together forever. It’s a bit sobering how little time you truly have.
I can confidently say: I will be sad when they leave. And also: we are (a bit grudgingly) ready to get back into the groove of “real” life (an expression I find funny because holidays and vacations are very real, but…expressions).
Much of the success of this visit, I think, is having space built into the days, where everyone can have their own down time to rest and recover before gearing up for the next competitive round of Pounce (our favorite card game) or the annual hot chocolate competition or the next great feeding (every meal was a great feeding).
As usual, I enjoyed observing family dynamics. Humans are so fascinating. Some things change, and some things don’t. People get older, but the family roles we play often just keep being played. Take my three brothers. We are all far into adulthood and yet one minute we are having a serious conversation about banking and the next minute they are literally wrestling on the floor like they did when they were 5 and 7 (and 39).
As one who must document all of life, I record these observations often. When my children were younger, I wrote down the funny, outrageous, embarrassing, and awkward things they said. And I never stopped. They keep saying things.
(This has come back to haunt me. Two of my children have a document on their phones where they regularly write down the “weird things Mom says.” It’s often pulled up so they can laugh. Alas. I’m tortured and need a cookie.)
During this Christmas holiday, the three older children encountered their childhood dog, Lord Tennyson (Tenny). They have often left home feeling it was the last time they would ever see our beloved, aging pet. Encountering him this time around was a bit of a shock. Not only because when Gregor gave him his last haircut and the clippers broke after one thick shave down the middle of his back so that he had a reverse mohawk, but because…he is so old (the dog).
Tenny gets disoriented easily, can rarely get down stairs, has only one eye after a literal run-in with a car, limps from arthritis and a long ago torn ACL, is terribly greasy from over-active sebaceous glands, and is nearly all white-haired. You see, this is our first experience with a pet dog nearing the end of life.
Concerned by his condition, Cope (the oldest) called a sibling council (family patterns; she’s usually the one to call the meeting). The parents and new spouse were allowed to remain (silently) in the room. The argument put forth: the time had come to put our Tenny “down” (another interesting expression).
The youngest was NOT having it. She lives here with Tenny (and puppy Artie) full-time. She walks the dogs, greets them every morning and night, helps them in and out of the house. It was not time! Back and forth they debated. While sitting silently, I could not help myself…from writing it down.
At our New Year’s Eve dinner, this habit of mine was brought up. Cope laughingly declared that “Mom mines our childhood tragedies for her books!”
“I do not!”
“You do too - I found that piece of paper on your bedside table!”
The piece of paper from the sibling council about their dog.
Well. “Childhood tragedies” is hyperbole and a bit mellow dramatic, though…they are my offspring.
I have reflected on this irresistible habit of writing it down. To write well, to tell a good story, one must observe and pay attention to the rich details of life. No?
Observation will tell you much about humans: a quick eye roll, the frozen smile, a nearly imperceptible swallow, a faint blush, and of course the words that come out of someone’s mouth. And since I have spent the last two decades of my life with my children - through all the intensity and happiness and plunges - I have observed them very carefully and well. They are infinitely interesting. Where my world ends, there’s begins, like one eternal round.
To this day, my favorite books are ones with complicated families, deep emotional lives, and novels that are character-driven.
Real life has given my fictional characters great depth. And the funny thing about taking scenarios and quotes from real-life observation is that you can twist and tweak however you please. Only rarely will someone recognize themselves the way I see them b/c even the slightest tweak makes a character new.
Here are some of the things heard over the last two and a half weeks. What do you think? Are they worthy of future characters, plot points, and future exploration?
"Kaden is the only one who understands me"1
“Get off me!”2
“We need to take this very seriously.” 3
“Dad doesn’t know about my hedgehog family.”
“You guys are horrible.”
“Take your hearing aids back out, Grandpa!…” (followed by a whispered “just kidding”).
“This is so disgusting. We are sitting next to a dismembered avian friend.”4
“Guys, we need to have a Sibling Council.”
“No! We are not killing Tenny!”
“If I were a dog, I would have been put down a long time ago.”5
Sadly, I had to leave out some really juicy gems because…because. I’m sure you understand.
In my next book, coming out in June (THE MCNIFFICENTS) I wrote the story of six unruly children and their gentlemanly nanny who happens to be a miniature schnauzer. His name? Lord Tennyson, of course. It was too good not to use.
(If you add the book to your Goodreads “Want to Read” list, the algorithm really helps me out - not to mention pre-orders!; thank you in advance :)
The McNifficents is full of funny quotes from real kids (not always my own), and sticky situations that originated from a real story or moment I experienced or simply heard somewhere. Often, it’s from only a small snippet and then the imagination takes over.
I’m often asked how I get my ideas. My answer: the universe provides them.
What about you? Are you a faithful recorder of the things that come out of your children’s mouths? From your friends and families and neighbors? Complete strangers? I’m convinced that the more you pay attention, the better your fiction becomes.
p.s. Lord Tennyson is still with us. The youngest prevailed. It is not his time to go. Not yet.
Amy 💗
1statement not made by Cope (Cope is my oldest and newly married to Kaden!)
2again: some things change, some things don’t
3perhaps the only serious thing said over break
4turkey dinner; fun with vegetarian children!
5grandpa Art on his opinion on when the right time to put down a dog is.
Book Recommendation: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
Goodreads Choice Award: Winner for Best Fiction (2022)
I’m 50 pages from the end and my heart has broken a few times. I have no interest in the gaming world, but Gabrielle Zevin has made me interested because her characters are so rich and wonderfully real. I’m really hoping the book ends the way I want/need it too…
Good News and Story Links:*Dolly and Miley singing a mash-up of Wrecking Ball and I Will Always Love You. Life goal: to be able to wear a see-through sequined dress on stage when I’m age 76.
*Only two 20-min spots left for WORLD READ ALOUD DAY on Feb. 1. Snag a spot.
Please help me grow this reader-supported publication by sharing with all your peeps. xo.
December 27, 2022
The 28 Books I Read This Year
I hope you had a very Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, and/or holiday! I hope there were books given and received. And I hope this week is slow(er) and brings reading time. Perhaps next to a still-standing twinkling Christmas tree, with chestnuts roasting and an open fire.
I used to keep track of the books I read in a beautiful leather covered notebook, writing with a pink ballpoint pen to list and rate books read. Alas, this habit went by the wayside and Goodreads now tracks my books. Every year I enter the “reading challenge” and it gives me the same sense of glee it did as a kid signing up for the summer reading challenge at my local library in Omaha, Nebraska.
If you follow Modern Ms. Darcy, you’ll see she read over 220 books in 2020. 220 BOOKS! This is astounding to me and means reading over half a book a day. I love reading, but mostly only read at night before sleeping, which means my eyes are drooping after a few pages.
I once read that Stephen King writes in the morning and reads all afternoon. I aspire to this schedule…but am also guessing Mr. King never did the lion share of kid carpooling. Which I wouldn’t trade, even for books.
Here are the 28 books I read, with my most favorite revealed at the end. With the exception of two, I greatly enjoyed all of them!
Click the book collage to read about each book!For this year’s favorite read, I decided to prioritize the book that stuck with me the longest after I finished, a book with excellent writing and emotional resonance, and the one I simply enjoyed reading the most.
My number one pick goes to…
Oh William! by Elizabeth Strout. Goodreads Choice Award nominee 2021
I love everything Strout writes. Her book, Olive Kitteridge won the Pulitzer Prize in 2008 and remains one of the best books I’ve ever read. Strout has such a handle on the writing craft and character development. Oh William is short, profound, devastating, and paints a portrait of a marriage (though Lucy & William are no longer married). I loved it. This line: “This is the way of life: the many things we do not know until it is too late.” Strout says so much with so little.
Other big contenders:
If you’re looking for a terrific writing book, I highly suggest Save the Cat! Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody. Bewilderment by Richard Powers blew my mind and made me cry. Two terrific young adults novels were A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson and Spells for Lost Things by Jenna Evans Welch. The middle grade book, The Lucky Ones by Linda Williams Jackson totally won me over as did my one audiobook listen of the year: Barack Obama: A Promised Land (fascinating history and read by Barack!) If you want to feel better, eat better with Run Fast, Eat Slow. And finally, why not add The McNifficents to your Goodreads to-read shelf?!
What isn’t here is The Old Testament, which I studied nearly every morning this year, but that’s a compilation of a lot of books. I have more to say on that, but for now, that’s a 2022 reading wrap.
I’ve just began reading Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin, which won Goodreads Best Fiction award this year. Wahoo!
Now it’s your turn - what were your favorite books of the year? Do you want to read more in 2023? My bff hair stylist recently told me she hates to read. I cannot fathom.
Amy 💗
Good News and Story Links*When a Doorbell’s Ring Means Hope by Charlotte Maya. This article requires a NYTimes subscription, but I’m telling you, I’ve read it three times - twice out loud to family members. It moved me so immensely. “Not a miracle. Not magic. Just generous, selfless, human love.” So good.
I’ll see you in the new year! Thanks for being here.
December 20, 2022
The Greatest Golden Goal
"What are the qualities of a hero? Loss. Defeat. A comeback.”
-Coach Patrick Maroni from TEN THOUSAND TRIES
In 2020 I wrote a book called TEN THOUSAND TRIES. I know you know because you’re my most supportive reading peeps in the world, and because…I may have mentioned it a few times? Many of you have read the book, recommended it, and for the last few days, have sent me messages like, “I bet Golden would have LOVED that game last night!!!”
Oh my, this tickles me to no end…thank you 😚
What game? The World Cup, of course! Yes, Golden would have loved that game - one of the greatest sports stories of all time.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, stay with me:
Ten Thousand Tries is about twelve-year-old Golden “Macaroni” Maroni, who is determined to channel his hero, soccer superstar Lionel Messi. Maybe you’ve heard of him?
I didn’t know much about Messi until my son, Nelson, started middle school about ten years ago. As a soccer-loving family, I often joke that playing soccer is a family requirement. It’s just what we do.
My most recent experience with the middle schoolers! I adore them.Nelson used to tell me all these little facts about Messi. Like he had tattoo of his mom on his shoulder. Like he was born with a growth-hormone deficiency and was often ridiculed - “and then you saw him play.”
My son, also small for his middle-school age, watched Messi become the greatest ever. And thus, a hero was born. Both my son and main character, Golden, latched onto the idea that 10,000 touches and hours of practice was the magic number for greatness. Golden is a figment of my imagination, but he’s also kindof my son.
My boy in middle school. The obsession had begun.Before this World Cup game, Messi had garnered every record, accolade, and title in the soccer world. Except for one. As captain of the Argentine squad, there was one prize he couldn’t seem to win: the World Cup.
At the “geriatric age” of 35, this was likely his final appearance on the World Cup stage, his last chance to win the one thing he most wanted (and the thing we most wanted, too!)
After a weird first-game loss to Saudi Arabia, Argentina recovered and made it to the final game against France (the 2018 defending world champions).
"You think soccer is just a game? Well then, you’ve never played it.”
-Golden, from Ten Thousand Tries
The final World Cup match-up last Sunday had all the elements of a good story: rising and falling action, emotion, and my favorite - a last minute twist! The plot was magnificently executed with a slow build that ended with the agonizing tension, and of course - the big payoff.
The game included super fans traveling by foot, car, plane, and bike to see the final game. The commentators spoke to families who had spent their life savings to get there(!)
That’s extreme. And…I kindof get it.
Babies were dressed in Argentine jerseys and held up as if offered to the Gods.
The Argentine brujas (witches) had been casting their spells for weeks (I could not get over this New York Times article!!!)
It sounds bizarre, but then again, don’t we all believe in strange ways? I believe in the power of prayer, though I don’t subscribe to the notion that those who pray most get what they want. Everyone watching the game wanted the win. With all those prayers being offered, I wonder if it was the most religious Sabbath of all time.
Many a player on the field made the sign of the cross before coming on or off. Messi himself is a believer. After every goal, he points to the sky (Nelson tells me it’s for his grandmother in heaven).
I had no intention about writing about The World Cup this week, it’s Christmas after all. But as I watched the final World Cup game, I realized that what we were watching was the culmination of a great story, like the ultimate page-turner. It was a gift to the masses.
We had two superheroes facing off: France’s 23-year-old Mbappe (Messi’s PSG teammate), “heir to Messi’s crown” and the Messi magic.
No matter. Messi came to play, schooling super-human athletes ten to fifteen years younger than himself. Superior conditioning and nutrition for sure, but was it also the Yerba Mate? (Can I get some?)
Always chosen to take the penalty kicks, the first goal was Messi’s. He scored, calm as a summer’s day. The crowd went wild, with the commentators commenting on his consistent “ice cold” veins under the most intense pressure.
The second goal came after Messi gave an incredible assist (from our couch we yelled, DID YOU SEE THAT?) to his teammate who passed it forward to longtime roommate and teammate, Ángel Di María, who had a stunner goal.
"How do you mark Cristiano Ronaldo? You try not to leave him alone, don't let him shoot on his right foot. And Lionel Messi? Just make the sign of the cross.”
-Giorgio Chiellini, Ten Thousand Tries
If you know something about story structure, then you know that for any great story, EVERYTHING must change at the midpoint.
And it did.
Down 0-2, Mbappe and France suddenly came alive in the second half, with Mbappe scoring two early goals nearly back to back.
Tied 2-2.
Back and forth they battled until the final whistle.
We went into the agonizing extra time play: two fifteen-minute halves. Finally, Argentina scored the most insane goal (MESSI AGAIN!)
…but then France scored!
Tied at 3-3, we went into penalty shoot-outs - a TERRIBLE, EXCRUCIATING way to end a game.
Mbappe scored for France.
Messi for Argentina.
But France missed twice.
And finally, Argentina’s young Montiel came to the pitch.
My son, with his old Messi jersey, still captivatedWith this goal, dreams would come true.
We were spellbound, literally sweating.
We covered our mouths, held our breath. 88,966 spectators in the stadium, 32 million viewers. You could hear a pin drop.
Can you even imagine the pressure?
Argentina scored! And won the game.
And so, the legend of Messi was cemented in history as arguably the greatest to ever play the game.
His performance was genius, reminding me of one of my most favorite Ted Talks by Elizabeth Gilbert, The Elusive Creative Genius (a must-listen!).
But every once in a while, very rarely, something would happen, and one of these performers would actually become transcendent. And I know you know what I’m talking about, because I know you’ve all seen, at some point in your life, a performance like this. It was like time would stop, and the dancer would sort of step through some kind of portal and he wasn’t doing anything different than he had ever done, 1,000 nights before, but everything would align. And all of a sudden, he would no longer appear to be merely human. He would be lit from within, and lit from below and all lit up on fire with divinity.
And when this happened, back then, people knew it for what it was, you know, they called it by its name. They would put their hands together and they would start to chant, “Allah, Allah, Allah, God, God, God.” That’s God, you know.
Is it blasphemous to compare a mere mortal’s performance to God? But if we are made in the image of a mother or father, then is it so preposterous? To see transcendence? When you know you are witnessing something so divine?
I once had an editor ask - but, Amy, what happens if Golden doesn’t get what he wants? If you’ve read Ten Thousand Tries, how do you square that?
What if we had lost?
Well, we take these things hard.
Yet humans are so resilient. Yesterday, just one day after his team’s loss, Mbappe posted we will be back on social media. Within minutes it had millions of “likes.”
There it is again: hope rising. A comeback is brewing. And a new story begins.
But for those with Messi…the victory is sweet.
Finally, after all of the grueling years of training and playing and trying and hoping, Lionel Messi, #10, captain of the Argentine squad, had led his team to victory.
I’m definitely not advocating that we worship people or athletes or celebrities. It’s dangerous and we already do too much of that, but I have witnessed transcendent performances in my life. This felt like that. When, after all we can do, Grace takes over - in a really big way.
Like my most favorite stories, this game will stay with me for a long time.
Golden believes that you can never, ever give up on something or someone you love. You know who he heard that advice from? Messi. It’s never over until it’s over.
And I love that.
"Mom said we have to be careful not to get our hopes up too much.
Why not? I said. Isn't that what hope is for?" -Ten Thousand Tries
What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good story!
And now I have many questions for you. Did you watch this game??? Have you ever watched a performance and knew you were watching greatness? Have you ever wanted to write about it? Please share!
💫 Book Recommendation: Ten Thousand Tries (surprise!)
If you know a reader who loves soccer, Messi, stories about friendship, grit, and love, this book is for you 🧡 If you order from Amazon today, it will likely arrive before Christmas - and right now it’s ONLY $8.99! Send me an email and I am happy to send an autographed book plate and bookmark - FREE!
Good News and Story Links*The Lionel Messi Guide to Living
*Chickens, Textbooks, and Jump Ropes: Find a Light the World Vending Machine near you.
*And finally, if you’d like to give a gift subscription for this newsletter to someone, hit the button below. Or simply forward! 🙏
Thank you for being here! Next week: my five favorite books of the year…
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and holiday cheer to all.
Amy ❤️
December 13, 2022
Take Yourself Seriously
I cut this out of a newspaper in high school; have loved it sinceOriginally, I wrote this headline: Take Yourself Seriously. And the sub-heading was: “and others will, too.”
I immediately backtracked and deleted that sub-heading. That isn’t the point at all. To do any meaningful work in this life, we need the most important ingredient first: our own belief.
As a sensitive, tiny child growing up in Omaha, Nebraska, I remember wanting adults to take me seriously. A vivid memory is silently fuming in the dentist chair thinking they would never poke my mother’s gums this hard because she is an adult. I wanted to bite the dentist’s hand (a character in my books will have to have this honor).
I admire the serious-taking-minded people.
Marie Curie was completely shunned by the male-dominated scientific community for decades. She soldiered on, until it literally killed her. She took herself seriously.
The Wright brothers, Wilbur and Orville, were so convinced that they could build a flying machine that against all odds - THEY DID.
Noah didn’t build the ark because anyone actually believed him.
I think we love these stories because 1. they were successful and 2. we recognize creativity and admire tenacity, which 3. makes us believe that we, too, could make our own flying machine.
Few appreciate such seriousness until there is some sort of success story in the end. No one likes the actual inconveniences of late-night practice, the monotony of a thousand free kicks, tinkering, research, the early morning wake up sessions to write. But we sure love a glorious ending to all of those things (Hello McFarland - a FAVORITE movie). Isn’t it the ultimate act of faith - to act when no one else believes but you?
What if you fail? What if there is no money made, award or acknowledgment? Is it still worth doing?
As we go into a new year, I think it’s worth asking: what would happen if you took yourself seriously?
This is what my life looked like when I decided to take my writing seriously:
I mean, that’s pretty embarrassing. What are those metal cans on the writing desk about? A robot? I DON’T KNOW. These were the days when my children were all little and my desk, which was located just in the room off the front door, became the dumping ground. You can see the school pictures, the “Mom Bucks” jar, kid papers everywhere.
I don’t know how anyone could write at that desk without losing her mind, but apparently, I did.
I’m also pretty proud of what this picture represents: years learning how to write a novel, ‘cause I sure didn’t know how. What the heck was rising action? I marked up, mapped out, and dog-eared the heck out of Jodi Picoult’s SISTER’S KEEPER. In retrospect, there may have been better choices b/c that particular novel has multiple and complicated POVs…
But it’s been proven to me time and time again: when we declare intention, and then step into the universe, it bends to our will.
As soon as I started taking my writing more seriously, it took me more seriously.
What else is on this desk?
The timer: during nap time, I set the timer for 59 minutes and stayed in the chair. I still use this technique.
The calculator: to calculate word count
A thesaurus/dictionary
A three-act structure poster taped to the wall
A worked-over manuscript on the stand
The computer
A “Cast of Characters” taped to the wall to keep it all straight (this was when I was working on my first published novel, which had a different title then).
I had little idea of what I was doing. What was I doing? Writing silly, inconsequential made up stories in my very messy study?
I remember a friend asking the “what do you want to do with your life next?” question.
“Well,” I said. “I’ve been writing…I…I want to write books.”
There was a small glimmer of confusion in her eyes. A flicker of doubt. Uh huh.
I tell you, there are dream killers everywhere. Lurking. You must not mind them.
I often despaired that all of the effort of writing a novel would be for naught. Over the years there were so many NO’s. But every once in awhile there would be something that spurred me forward.
I had to constantly lean in and listen to the little voice in my head that whispered…write.
wrote a great post entitled In Defense of Taking Yourself Seriously.
Hattie reminded me that Julia Cameron said, "Leap and the net will appear."
Don’t we find ways to make things work when we commit to them? YES! That is exactly what I’ve found to be true.
I sometimes still have trouble saying “I’m a writer” out loud. And knowing my love language is “Words of Affirmation,” I lap up validation.
For instance:
A couple of weeks ago, as I served smoothies to the football team before their final championship game, we started talking about nutrition and the body and I got SO EXCITED. I love this stuff. It’s what I’ve spent the last 25 years of my life doing - teaching and learning about the human body. I excitedly told my husband how much I’ve missed the classroom and working with athletes and maybe I could teach a class and start working with teams again and we could have a google doc for all the teams to sign up for and….
he looked at me and said, “or you could write.”
Now let me tell you. Swoon-worthy words.
This mattered.
What he was saying: take yourself seriously. Just mere months ago I stepped away from employment (and steady paychecks) so I could be more single-minded on one thing: WRITING.
I have gratitude for those who take us seriously. Because sometimes we forget. Sometimes someone has to say it.
Here’s Maya Angelou:
Most people don’t grow up. It’s too damn difficult. What happens is most people get older. That’s the truth of it. They honor their credit cards, they find parking spaces, they marry, they have the nerve to have children, but they don’t grow up. Not really. They get older. But to grow up costs the earth, the earth. It means you take responsibility for the time you take up, for the space you occupy. It’s serious business. And you find out what it costs us to love and to lose, to dare and to fail. And maybe even more, to succeed. What it costs, in truth.
— Maya Angelou
We must not wait another minute to grow up, to take ourselves seriously. Time is ticking. We’re getting old. I feel the urgency. Do you?
Maya’s right. To do the important stuff, we must do more than just get older. We must grow up. It’s dang hard. We try and we fail and think everyone else knows what they’re doing except us. Or that all is lost because we didn’t start that thing when we were three. Bah! Like my mom says - no one is born knowing how to play Beethoven! She says that about everything that’s hard. What a great mindset.
My 46-year-old sister just started playing the violin. So 🔥
Hattie referenced Oliver Burkman’s Everyone is (Still) Winging it. Apparently, most of us feel great relief to know that it’s not just us that’s making it up as we go.
Take yourself seriously. Go all in. Scribble the plot points out in the car while waiting in the car as your child finishes hockey practice. Sketch while waiting for the play to start. Jot down all the ideas you had last night. Dream those ridiculous, audacious dreams. Make a plan. Take yourself seriously.
Funnily enough, and we get back to the sub-heading, when you take yourself seriously, others will too. Isn't that nice? But that is NOT the reason you do it as wrote so well this week. You know what else? Maybe they won't.
And when or if you do get the gold star, it will merely be a nice thing, not an essential one.
Now I need to take my own advice and stop doing laundry in the middle of the day; b/c that is not what creative hours are for!
Take yourself seriously is maybe the single most important nugget I’d give a writer or creative or human.
How do you take yourself seriously? Drop me a comment, no matter how big or small, I would love to hear.
Take yourself seriously.
Because if it matters to you, then it matters.
a GINORMOUS thank youLast week I received my first paying subscribers to this newsletter. I am so grateful. It’s YOU taking ME seriously. It is such a boost of confidence. Your paid subscription means that I can write and produce more in this space. Paying subscribers will make it all the more possible.
THANK YOU, from the very bottom of my heart (which, btw, are the left and right ventricles :)
Amy 💗
Book Recommendations:Atomic Habits and Thinking, Fast and Slow are both half off right now (favorite take-yourself-seriously books).
Unsplash. purchase or check your local library!Good News and Story Links*World Cup Loves mourn Grant Wahl: an excellent journalist, an even better human 💔
*Even Brene Brown doesn’t want to change (this is great)
*Writer Austin Kleon’s art studio (read the previous post to see how he built it)
*There are TWO spots left for a FREE virtual World Read Aloud with me on February 1, 2023. Sign up now! I’m working on some fun stuff to send to classes who sign up (plus a sneak peek of THE MCNIFFICENTS…)
*Breakups Always Hurt, But You Can Shorten the Suffering by Arthur C. Brooks. I like everything Brooks writes, and how he uses examples from novels to open this essay.
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December 6, 2022
Five Things I'm Loving This Week
Hello my friends! Thank you for all the love from last week’s post. My anxiety about posting soon faded after receiving so many kind responses - phone calls, texts, emails, and face-to-face conversations. We are not alone. Let’s keep talking.
Here are five things I’m loving this week - as good as any Black Friday deal…!
Come Along With Me is a reader-supported publication. Please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Secrets included.
A Christmas tree in the house. The glorious scent of a pine tree. Accompanied by white lights, candles in the window, a dark living room and a roaring fire. We always get a real tree but Gregor is starting to say things like “artificial.” WHUT?! What is your vote?
The World Cup. Now that the U.S. is out, who are you rooting for? I have to say Argentina because this is MESSI’S LAST SHOT, the World Cup being the one elusive prize he’s never gotten to take home. I mean, he’s THE STORY in TTT!
My mother’s chocolate pie. It’s so easy. A homemade crust (I know, but it’s so much better) filled with two packages of Cook and Serve chocolate pudding. Use whole milk. Top with whipped cream. Now pair that with watching the World Cup WITH a twinkling Christmas tree. Bliss.
Modern Love on Amazon Prime. Only 30ish minutes, It’s my favorite thing to watch before going to bed. (Bucket list: getting published in the NYTimes Modern Love column, a feat only achieved by about 1% of submissions according to the column’s editor, Dan Jones. LET’S GO.)
A FOUR-BOOK Giveaway!!! If you know a “young reader at heart” who loves the World Cup, head to my Instagram immediately. Follow and leave a comment on any of the four participating author accounts. On Wednesday, 12/7 (TOMORROW), we will pick a winner to send four, signed books to, including Merci Suarez Plays in Cool, the last book in Meg Medina’s New York Times Bestselling trilogy. It makes me very happy to think of a soccer-loving reader receiving and unwrapping BOOKS (YOU?!). Please share widely!
One thing I’m desperately seeking…a typewriter! I have an antique that doesn’t work. Any advice? What is the best? Where is the best place to get one? My friend just bought a 1965 Olympia. Keep in mind: I am not handy at fixing machines. The thought of changing a ribbon paralyzes me 🙄 I will type letters and SEND THEM TO YOU.
Good News and Story Links*A kidlit interview with Dr. Danna Zeiger for WRITERS’ RUMPUS about the intersection of motherhood and writing.
*Santa Claus is Coming to Town! I love this.
*There are only TWO spots left for a FREE virtual World Read Aloud with me on February 1, 2023. Sign up now! I’m working on some fun stuff to send to classes who sign up (plus a sneak peek of THE MCNIFFICENTS…)
Amy 💗
Come Along With Me is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Secrets included.
November 30, 2022
When You Can't Fix It (by yourself)
This one's also a love story.
Recently my daughter, Cope, was on the podcast Humans With Hans. Hans is a young adult attending BYU (where Cope goes to school) who interviews other young adults about relationships. Cope's interview was about her relationship with food. Specifically, an eating disorder.
The interview is now out in the world, and we want to share it with you.
My heart beats more quickly as I type this, as I enter the world of these are things we do not publicly speak of. I’m scared to hit Publish. I feel extremely protective. But Cope and I ultimately agree: these are things to speak of. Maybe it will help you or someone you love. I hope it does. That’s why I will hit Publish.
The pride I feel hearing Cope speak is so immense. Because it's so scary and it's so brave to speak. It’s also really hard. It triggered feelings. It prompted her to schedule an emergency appointment with an eating disorder therapist in Utah, and a lot of tears (from her AND me) as we revisited a very dark life chapter.
When she stepped off an airplane in 2019 I was so so scared. She was coming home early on medical leave while serving as a missionary in Taiwan. Her appearance had drastically changed. This fear was immediately met by a VERY fierce and powerful lioness-like feeling: I refused to be ashamed. Even then, I sensed there would be silver linings that would go far beyond our family.
Eating disorders are a form of mental illness. It's not truly about food, but a disordered way of thinking about food and control. Our brains can get weird, fast. (And our society rewards it in so many infuriating ways.) But I hope that as you listen to Cope’s story, you will feel hope. There is every reason to believe in recovery. The brain can get sick, and the brain can get better.
Because the brain is incredibly resilient and capable of change. With a lot of work - and it is work - neurons can rewire and form new thinking patterns; it's astoundingly awesome!
Cope references the statistics: eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. It's something to take very seriously, very quickly.
After she came home from Taiwan, we didn't know what to do beyond seeing a counselor, and it often takes weeks to months to get an appointment. At first I thought that we could deal with it ourselves, because, hey! I’m a mom and I fix things.
So I cooked Cope an egg for breakfast. I would feed and nourish her body and mind as we talked about eating all three macro nutrients (carbohydrates, fat, and protein). She would gain weight and be okay again.
Except she wouldn't eat the egg, couldn't make herself eat it, no matter what I said, no matter that they were locally sourced, no matter that she needed it because she was so so sick. I could not fix it. I could not fix my beautiful, suffering, sick girl.
Cope spent five weeks in an eating disorder facility. In my last newsletter I wrote about some brutal Thanksgivings. 2019 was one of those. Christmas was no picnic either.
The day we checked in and I had to leave her there alone.The treatment facility was voluntary, but highly advised given her weight. Even so, she didn't want to go and was so angry with us. We drove the two hours to Cambridge, Massachusetts, past Harvard University, multiple times a week. I could barely believe this was our life. She would beg me to take her home. I would beg her to hang in there. We would part in tears. I would cry the rest of the way home. Cope would sob in her room. She would feel guilty about being a bother. I would feel guilty about everything I'd ever done as her mother. I would pray my guts out she would be alive the next morning. I don't write that lightly.
Dark, dark days.
That was years ago now. And many many counseling sessions later for her and us. Much rewiring of the brain - for her and us. And Cope is okay. We are okay. Cope is so good. She is healthy. There is a depth of gratitude.
I love this photo. She’s okay. She’s so good.We didn’t do it alone. We couldn’t. There were so many family, friends, and professionals helping us. And the mothers. God bless the mothers.
There is also the caution: like any illness, this isn't something that you just "get over." It takes time, sometimes even a lifetime, for the brain to rewire its thinking patterns.
We keep talking, we keep going to counseling, we keep checking in with our brain when it starts to tell us things that aren't true.
Silver linings? Absolutely. Perhaps I will write out all of the things I have learned along the way someday (food, healthy ways to talk about food, silence, genetics, support, etc), but for now, have a LISTEN HERE.
If you know of someone who could benefit, please share this link and episode. Eating disorders are fairly common, yet if they are spoken about at all, it’s usually in hushed voices, and with great reluctance. They THRIVE in secrecy and shame. But those are lies. There is no shame - except - what a shame it is to suffer alone, and when you don’t need to. I’ve seen what recovery looks like and it’s so so good.
As you take the steps toward becoming a more whole, healthy, and happy person, it will be scary. But remember that there is hope and there is healing because the brain and body have that ability. Because they are YOU. Dearly Beloved.
Amy ❣️
Book of the Week: The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge
One of the most influential books of my reading - and otherwise - life.
FASCINATING, hopeful, brainy stuff.
Much of it formed the science and explanation behind Vienna’s brain injury in The Unforgettable Guinevere St. Clair (who knew middle grade could get so nerdy 🤓 ).
November 24, 2022
how we spend our days
This one’s a love story.
a thanksgiving past…I remember the first Thanksgiving I didn’t spend at home. I was in college, 1000 miles away from Omaha, Nebraska, and it was too expensive to fly home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. For the next four years, I went to the homes of different relatives. I don’t recall feeling particularly sad. As the oldest child and sibling who had left home for the first time, I was the excited, adventuring Magellan who wrote long reporting-letters home.
I often brought my roommates with me and we became the plus-one or two at the table.
Family pulled up chairs and squished together to make room for more - for which I’ll always be thankful. I loved the ritual of gathering, surrounded by noise and food and so many cousins. The laughing! We never stopped laughing.
I unwillingly played games (I detest learning new games; what is wrong with me) like Pounce and Ticket to Ride - and am still playing them.
There are some wretched Thanksgiving memories. One year, in the middle of dinner, my dad called to tell me one of my best friends had died. I sat back down at the table, tried to swallow turkey and not cry. So polite.
One year it snowed buckets and our power went out. How to cook a turkey without an oven?! We went sledding on gigantic L.L. Bean snow tubes.
There would be other Thanksgivings, far harder than that one.
Yet I still look forward to the holiday every year. Hope rises at the thought of food and family and laughing and way too many pieces of pie.
Each and every one has been a day well spent.
Time has been on my mind. I’ve even taken to tracking it. I recently saw a tweet by @SahilBloom on how we spend our time according to American Time Use Survey and Our World in Data.
Check this out (Quotes by Sahil Bloom):
Time Spent With Parents & Siblings: Peaks in childhood and declines after age 20. Key Takeaways: • Time with family is limited. • Time with parents declines sharply after age 20. • You may only see your loved ones a few more times. Prioritize and cherish every moment.
Time Spent With Friends: Peaks at age 18 and declines sharply to a low baseline. Key Takeaways: • Embrace friendship breadth, but focus on depth. • Cherish those who are with you through good times and bad. Invest your energy in the healthy, meaningful friendships that last.
Time Spent With Partner: Trends upwards until death. Key Takeaways: • Who you choose as a partner is the most important decision you'll ever make. • Find someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with.
Time Spent With Children: Peaks in your 30s and declines sharply thereafter. Key Lessons: • Time with your children is short—the "Magic Years" will fly by if you let them. • Be present in every moment. Slow down and embrace the sweetness that children bring to your life.
Time Spent With Coworkers: Steady during the prime working years from age 20-60. Key Lessons: • You'll spend a lot of time at work. • Who you choose to work with is one of the most important decisions you'll make. Find work—and coworkers—that create energy in your life.
Time Spent Alone: Steadily increases throughout your life. Key Lessons: • Learn to embrace solitude. • Flex your boredom muscle regularly. Find happiness and joy in the time you have to yourself—there will be a whole lot of it as you get older.
After I left for college, I never spent Thanksgiving at my childhood home again. Except for once. Just before my parents moved from Omaha to Arizona and sold our home, my parents, three brothers, and one sister flew home to have Thanksgiving one last time, all together. It was very special (and also heroic; I gave my choking sister the Heimlich maneuver at the Thanksgiving table…and she lived :)
The above graph proves true in my case: time spent with my own parents and family peaked before age 20 and then declined. Time spent with my own children peaked in my 30s and has declined sharply (where are the sad face emojis?)
This is the Thanksgiving where three of my four children are not HERE, thousands of miles away. This feels impossibly terrible (though ALL WILL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!).
There is also the upward trend of time spent with partners of our choice, co-workers, and self. It’s worth enjoying oneself.
Some people find this data encouraging, and others, depressing. I simply find it interesting.
The holidays are an obvious gathering time. They will bring up feelings. It’s okay. Contradictory feelings can both be true.
I was so moved by writer and artist Mari Andrews who recently wrote about “how to have a hard holiday.” It’s worth the read - and a reminder that I have been very very lucky to have a big bustling family who pulled up a lot of chairs and knew how to laugh.
Anyway, my mother will often say that our weird relatives make for the best and funniest stories later (we’re likely all turning into the weird relative).
It’s been 25 years since those college days and I do know this: opportunities to gather start to dwindle. Logistics become harder to juggle. Children grow up. Time passes. Parents and people we love unexpectedly pass.
“Seize the Day” is a pretty good maxim (a general truth, fundamental principle, or rule of conduct).
Annie Dillard famously wrote,
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
Happiest of Thanksgiving gathering to you and yours. I hope it’s happy. I hope you are gathering with those you want to, or need to, and are having fun. And perhaps take more of my mother’s advice with you: “lower your expectations; you can laugh about it later.”
Amy <3
Book of the Week: open a scrapbookholidays are a good time to reminisce.
Good News and Story Links*Wakanda. A great story (the smart, strong, empowered women!) I was moved to tears by the many Chadwick Boseman images.
+ Rihanna’s Lift Me Up. Wow.
*Only TWO more spots left for World Read Aloud with me. Sign up now!
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November 15, 2022
Sign Up Now: WORLD READ ALOUD DAY!
In a shocking turn of events, can you BELIEVE what Guinevere and pals just did?! Let’s read about it on World Read Aloud Day, FEB 1, 2023.I'm giving my very special newsletter subscribers (that’s YOU!) first dibs for a World Read Aloud Day virtual visit!
The date is Feb 1, 2023. Snag a spot by signing up via this link. Woo-hoo! Can’t wait to visit you and your students.
Our WRAD virtual visit will go something like this:
1-2 minutes: I'll give a quick introduction & talk a little about my books.
8-10 minutes: I'll read aloud from one of my books.
5-7 minutes: I'll answer a few questions from students about reading/writing.
1-2 minutes: I'll book-talk a couple books I love (but didn’t write!) as recommendations for the kids.
Please do not sign up until you can commit to a 20-minute time slot.
This form will ask you to choose a time, name a platform, give a meeting link, and indicate which of my books you would like me to read from:
A reading from THE UNFORGETTABLE GUINEVERE ST CLAIR (recommended for grades 4-8);
A selection from TEN THOUSAND TRIES (recommended for grades 4-8);
A reading from the forthcoming THE MCNIFFICENTS (recommended for grades 3-7)
SIGN UP FOR WORLD READ ALOUD DAY - and ASAP. I’ll be opening this up for everyone in just a few days. Looking forward to meeting your class! (Please feel free to share this link with your teacher/librarian friends).
Thank you for reading Come Along With Me. This post is public so feel free to share it.
Book of the Week: MIRACULOUS
Ya’ll, this is so good! Middle Grade 1800s historical fiction, MIRACULOUS by Caroline Starr Rose (who has an awesome teacher resource and author-interview series) tells the story of 13-year-old Jack who is traveling with Dr. Kingsbury. Kingsbury is pedaling a tonic that cured Jack’s baby sister. It heals everyone! Or…does it? Is Kingsbury everything he says he is or is a snake oil salesman - but then how did Jack’s baby sister get better? Halfway through the book I was still quickly turning pages, wondering how Caroline was going to pull this off.
As for the historical part - I found all of it so fascinating after reading Caroline’s author note. With 90% of the country living in rural areas in the 1800s, qualified doctors were hard to come by. Most relied on home remedies and medicinal herbs. What a perfect scenario for desperation to meet deceit..
Good book, and I adore the cover. WELL DONE, Caroline!
What are you reading?
Amy <3
More Good News & LinksI’ve always fancied owning a bookstore, my zeal only increasing while following Ann Patchett’s Parnassus Bookstore biz. Now Zibby Owen has a women-owned bookstore! LOVE.
At this VERY MOMENT I’m in the queue for a Taylor Swift concert ticket. Ticketmaster has crashed several times and 2000+ people are ahead of me. Do I dare hope???
Bono’s SURRENDER is out in the world. I’m fascinated with his love of Jesus. Also, Mary Laura Philpott might have gotten engaged to Bono in PARNASSUS after she threw her keys at him. I KNEW I loved bookstores.
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November 8, 2022
Getting to Know You
Hi! Hello!
I’m so glad you’re here for my inaugural post on Substack! Thanks for moving with me. Moving is a big job. So many boxes.
If you’re wondering how you got here, it’s because you’re subscribed to my author newsletter. Maybe you’ve been with me since the “maisymak” blogging days (insert heart emoji).
You’re used to one monthly post from me. I’ll be writing more often (the goal is weekly!) - and more intimately. My goal is to also make it worth your while.
Why Substack? I’m new here, but totally loving this newsletter platform. It’s very intuitive and easy to use. There’s room for comments and conversation, much like a blog, but also feels like an opportunity for a wider reach, with readers also having the option to financially support a writer’s work.
So - Come Along With Me as I write about love stories, good books, and making a life as a writer.
Let’s make some introductions. I’ll go first.
I’m a writer of books for “young people of all ages” (I really like that phase). The above photo is not my professional author photo, but it does represent. For instance, my favorite color is probably fuchsia and my favorite rooms have bookshelves. I usually wear my curly, often-unmanageable hair pulled up. You can’t see my running shoes, but I’m likely wearing them.
In this photo I’m holding my first book, the middle-grade read THE UNFORGETTABLE GUINEVERE ST. CLAIR (2018). When the pandemic hit, I was lucky enough to get TEN THOUSAND TRIES published (2021). My third novel, THE MCNIFFICENTS is coming in June 2023. I like to read and write books that make you feel.
Last spring I stepped away from teaching Anatomy & Physiology part-time to focus writing full-time. My timing was perfect (sometimes I’m sarcastic). Stable paycheck vs inflation, rising prices (eggs for 4.99!?), a summer wedding, and three kids in college. Well, I tell you, I’m also a person of faith. It feels right to write, and also, stop tempting me with magical hair products, Instagram ads (bc: money).
So, I’m writing. I’m also a mother to four incredible kids. We have two miniature schnauzers, one of which is incredibly co-dependent and still throwing my shoes down the stairs. My father-in-law lives with us and is the best housemate. I really adore my husband. Together we live in a teeny-tiny town in New Hampshire that has TWO libraries.
I’m a life-long runner, outdoor lover, and still have dreams of making the National Women’s Soccer Team, which tells you that yes, I’m an unapologetic optimist. I think Taylor Swift is a genius lyricist and has the perfect red lipstick. I’m learning to paint.
I’m a spiritual person, love learning all things about the human body, dislike confrontation, and think everyone should be a feminist (meaning they love and support women as equals).
I’m here to tell some good love stories, recommend the best books, and dish about the writing life.
I’d also love to know - what would you like me to write about? PLEASE SAY.
Now that you know a little bit about me, tell me about you. Make it short and sweet or long and winding. Let’s get to know each other!
Did I mention? I’m glad you’re here.
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Book of the Week: SALT TO SEA by Ruta Septys
It is the winter of 1945. WWII. Four refugees tell their story.
Each one is haunted by tragedy, lies, and war. As thousands desperately flock to the coast in the midst of a Soviet advance, four paths converge, vying for passage aboard the real life Wilhelm Gustloff, a ship that is fit for 1500 passengers. 10,000 are aboard.
There are not enough life jackets nor small rafts in case of emergency. When three soviet torpedos hit the ship, it goes down in less then an hour.
Of the 10,000 mostly civilian passengers (5,000 being children), only 1,000 survive (true story). Who will live to tell? Who will go down to be silenced by the sea?
Highly recommended! A timely, and hugely important story. Young Adult, Historical Fiction, winner of many awards. Follow my Instagram for more book love.
Thank you for reading Come Along With Me. This post is public; please feel free to share it.
October 27, 2022
Cover Reveal! Hello, MCNIFFICENTS
A senior Miniature Schnauzer employed as a very distinguished nanny has his paws full trying to prove he’s still the dog for the job in this sweet and rambunctious middle grade novel that’s The Secret Life of Pets meets The Vanderbeekers series.
Every day, Lord Tennyson the Miniature Schnauzer does his very best to care for the six McNiff children and keep them from destroying their pink New England farmhouse—and the rest of the town for that matter. But when summer vacation brings the kids home together all day, his chaos-containing skills are put to the ultimate test.
Baby Sweetums is still refusing to walk, nap, or listen to anyone; Ezra is trying to keep a snake as a secret pet; Annie and Mary’s fighting is worse than ever; and Pearl and Tate are scared of just about everything. And when a particularly tempting trio of baby chicks arrives at the house, even Lord Tennyson finds he can’t stay on his best behavior.
As the chaos begin to spiral out of hand, though, something truly awful happens: Mr. and Mrs. McNiff seem to be considering getting “a real nanny” to care for their big brood! Can Lord Tennyson get the McNiffs’ hijinks under control and teach them to behave before the summer’s out? Or will this most unusual nanny find himself out of a job and back in the doghouse?
Coming, June 2023, PRE-ORDER HERE!
The post Cover Reveal! Hello, MCNIFFICENTS appeared first on Amy Makechnie.
