L.T. Marshall's Blog, page 47

The Carrero merch line and more......

⭐This is an update as so much is happening in Carreroland right now and I just cannot wait to share.⭐Okay so first...we opened a store. At the begging of the fans, (it's early days so bear with us) we have now opened an official merch store and some new things are brewing for the super-fans.It is open and operational and if you sign up you can be in the know for all new releases, new merch and bonus surprises in the mail.

⭐The official store



⭐Our next news is our brand new mailing list, which can be accessed 3 ways. The store above.... on this very blog, or via my facebook page
⭐We are starting to send out newsletter updates and this Christmas we have a super Carrero Bonus for you to read on Xmas day.



⭐Finally......
⭐Our Publiversary event on Facebook is in 13 days, and you need to be there to join in. We have a fab author line up for take overs, a week long free promo on the Carrero Effect and giveaways, fun and prizes. Click the image to join the event.

Her Blackened Soul By Isra Sravenheart

The Cinder Earl's Christmas Deception (Book 2 of The Contrary Fairy Tales) by Em Taylor

✿´¯`*•.¸¸✿ RELEASE BLITZ ✿´¯`*•.¸¸✿

The Scars of Us By Rachael Tonks

  We have another fab book, by another amazing author for you this week. With the heart capturing tale of Braxton and Isabelle. I myself have this on my kindle and I can guarantee you will love these books.



✿´¯`*•.¸¸✿ RELEASE BLITZ ✿´¯`*•.¸¸✿
The Scars of UsBy Rachael Tonks
Release date: Wednesday 29th November 2017

The Carrero Brothers talk Tattoos.... character interviews.

Our Exclusive chat with the infamous Carrero Brothers!! New York's billionaire duo of hotties, running an empire and making waves in their own rights as businessmen, cover models, and champion fighters.
Fans begged, bribed and blew us many kisses to secure this interview, and we can now deliver the answers to all your burning questions.
Jacob and Arrick Carrero, known as Jake and Arry to friends, family, and adoring followers. Listed in the top 20 of America's billionaire families. Heirs to the huge Carrero Corporation, owning a fleet of spa cruisers, luxury hotels, fitness and health spas, and products.



Both brothers have an impressive amount of black ink and we want to delve in about their choices. And of course, we kept them shirtless for the duration!
At what age did you get your first tattoo?
Jake - I was too young, probably around fifteen, I can't remember exactly. Pretty sure I was drunk, probably... (He grins, as does his brother.)
Arry - I was twenty, and drunk....some idiot brother of mine convinced me that I was a wuss for not having started on them yet. Pretty sure that was borderline bullying, but, he started me on an addiction.
What was it?
Jake - This one (Jake points to a tribal symbol on his left shoulder, it wraps around his bicep) I remember it was on the wall of the tattoo parlour, friends egging me on and I was just like ..That one. I didn't care, I was drunk.
Arry - Mines here. (Points to one under his collar bone, a swirling tribal patch hidden among the mass on his peck) I was more decisive, picked something I could live with and could add too. No idea what it means, just liked the shape.
What the meanings behind them, if any ?
Jake - Some of mine are symbols with meanings, some are quotes and prophecies for stages in my life. And some of them mean nothing. I just liked how they looked with the rest.
Arry - I'm the same, each has a meaning in a  way but only a couple have any real specific meaning to me. For example the cluster of stars on my arm signify every fight win I have had in my career.
What is your favourite tattoo? Do any hold special significance?
Jake - This one. (He turns his forearm to show a list of names, simple, yet a flowing script, starting at his wrist)My wife and my kids. I add to it every time we have another. I like it in a  place I can see it, keeps me sane when I'm stressed out and there they are, at a glimpse. The names that mean everything to me.
Arry - One over my heart which means 'little warrior' and this new addition (he points out a puzzle piece on his inner wrist of his left hand, small and completely black save for an S in the middle.) Both of them belong to my girlfriend, and she knows why.
Do you have plans for more?
Jake - Always... I get one anytime the itch comes over me and I have plenty space to fill before Emma barrs me from more. (both brothers laugh)
Arry - I started creeping across my waist and back, but not sure I will keep adding once I fill up one side. I don't want to end up looking like my brother. He's convinced I want to be him already. (Jake laughs and Arry just eye rolls with a smile)
Why are they all black, are you both allergic to colour?
Jake - Black is where it is at. My favourite look. Colour is overrated.
Arry - Pretty sure I just liked how it looked on him and never questioned it.. maybe I do want to be my brother. (he smirks at Jake, who grins back knowingly)
Jake - You do! I'm epic.
Arry - Modest too. (Arry eye rolls again)
Do you have a favourite Tattoo parlour?
Arry - Jesus, now this is really going to sound like I want to be him. I know we both use the same shop in New York.
Jake - Admit it and this will be a whole lot easier. I know it, you know it.

Arry - Asshole (both men just smirk at one another and sigh)
Arry - Village Tattoo on Bleecker street, New York. it's where it's at.
Jake - Yup... We both use Leo.
Arry - Not because of you though, he's just good at what he does.
Jake - Because of me...
Arry - Asshole. 
Do you have any future planned tattoo's?
Jake - Arry wants an 'I love Jake' Tattoo on his peck..the clear side, in a red heart. 
Arry - I can kick you in the face from here, you know? (Jake laughs and shoves his brother in the shoulder, who retaliates and both men laugh)
Jake - I want more kids so I can have more names. Not sure the wife is on board yet. I also want something that's just for her, maybe a quote or some sort of symbol. Somewhere only she gets to see. (Jake winks naughtily)
Arry - Nothing planned yet, but my girl knows that when we get married I want a band on my left hand, ring finger. I can't wear a ring when I fight, so I want something permanent that I don't take off.
Jake - That's kinda cute..... should I start calling you Arrybelle from now on, little sister.
Arry - Fuck off ass hole, you just said you were tattooing your dick for Emma.
Jake - Yeah, with an arrow and this way sweetheart above it. (Jake turns to interviewer) Do not print that, she will cut them off.
Arry - Print it...I'll video tape her reaction and give it to you.
(both men laugh and push at one another again)
Last question boys, this has been fun ...but... Our followers want to know. Are either of you planning on full nude posing in any future Tats issues, together, for ink viewing of course?
Jake - Arry can only wish. What with being a love sick little girl for his big brother.
Arry - You're sick in the head.
Jake - Yeah but you still idolise me, so it obviously works.

Arry - I think I hate you.

Jake - Closest thing to strong love you know?
Arry - I do hate you.
Jake - Don't be like that baby, we can cuddle later.
Arry - I WILL kick you in the face.
Jake - I know you're into that. (Jake winks and Arry just sighs and eye rolls our way)
Arry - Please ignore my brother, he was dropped on his head as a kid, daily.
Jake - He doesn't mean it, he's just upset for outing him. (Jake winks at his brother and both men burst out laughing)
Well fans, as much as I hate to leave you hanging. We really need to let the brothers go. If you have more questions for our gorgeous duo be sure to comment below.


Universal book links
Book 1 - myBook.to/TheCarreroEffectBook 2 - myBook.to/CarreroInfluenceBook 3 - myBook.to/CarreroSolutionBook 4 - myBook.to/CarreroHeart1Book 5 - myBook.to/CarreroHeart2Jake's POV - myBook.to/JakesPOVJust Rose - getBook.at/JustRose

Bonus scene - Arrick meets Sophie for the first time. The Carrero Series - His POV

This has been requested by so many. even though it never features in the original books, it seems all of you want to know how this went down. So here we are....the start of Sophie and Arry.

I get out of the cab and drag my rucksack with me, feeling tired today, after the long ass flight on a commercial airline from LA and just glad to be back on home turf. It was a hell of a week at a bachelor party that turned into a crazy endless, sleepless, drunk fuelled mess. I don't remember half of it, and I'm sure I still have that Veronica girls phone number written on my chest in red lipstick. I went straight from bed with that blonde girl, Tanya or Tracey, whatever her name was, to the airport, and now I'm desperate for a shower. It's not like me to hit on women for just a one night hook up only, but it was my last night in LA, and I knew I would never see either of them again.

I'm getting as bad as Jake and I know I should really curb some of the reckless behaviour lately, I just feel so listless and restless all the time, out of whack and school is boring me. I'm smarter than most of my class and I don't even have to try to make the grade. While everyone is stressing out and studying, I'm flying through, my mind isn't being challenged. I'm bored, ready to find something new to do with my life; spending more time with Nathan, my room mate, at the gym than ever. He's been pushing me to take my hobby further, martial arts, but I just don't know. It seems a weird thing to chase for a career.

I guess after years of not condoning how Jake went, I can see me following the same path, despite my reservations and hatred of how he parties and hooks up with randoms. I mean, I'm not that bad yet, I at least date. A few weeks at a time, until I get the same feeling of suffocation from their neediness, or another jealous outburst pisses me off, and then I let them down gently. I even stayed friends with some of them, but no one really ever made the long term cut. I'm nineteen, in college, and too young for that shit just yet.

I push open the front door and get the hugest smile from Mariah, our housekeeper, as she tries to relieve me of my bag, but I shake my head and stop her hand, dropping it by the stair instead.

'I'll leave it here, it's heavy. I'll carry it up when I go.' I lean and give her an affectionate peck on the cheek, getting a blush in return and a huge smile. She's been part of this family since I was born and she's like an aunt or even a second mom to me nowadays. Mariah pats me on the cheek and moves off, nodding towards the kitchen as she goes, and I nod in thanks. She knows me so well.

'Mamma..Where are you? I'm home.' I call out for my mother, hearing voices in the kitchen and the noise of crockery banging. She's in her favourite place, making great things to eat and I'm ecstatic. I'm starving and nothing beats my mamma's home cooking.
I wander to the kitchen door and am greeted with her right away, looking beautiful in a  floral dress and wiping white flour dust from the print. She looks good today, happy, upbeat, blushed from the hot kitchen and I embrace her.

'Ahhh, il mio bambino.' She hugs me tightly, planting a kiss on the corner of my mouth and pats me on the cheek too. I miss my family when I'm not here, but I have been a restless soul for years, and being home never seems to satisfy me. I'm here for a week, then back to school to take some finals. 
God knows after that.

'Hey mamma, mi sei mancato' I kiss her on the cheek and let her go, catching sight of a blonde head behind her in the kitchen, and it immediately peaks my interest. Not really bright blonde, more of a honey colour, pulled back in a ponytail and bearing a make up free cute face, that's downward facing, looking into a bowl as she mixes something. Hard to really tell what she looks like, but the slim body hints at young teens, enough curves to be around sixteen, maybe older. definitely interesting. I can't help the little peak of interest, I mean I am still slightly under the influence, so maybe I have beer goggles on or, whatever,but she's a nice view from here. Too young for me.
Cute.
'Arry this is Sophabelle, our newest Huntsberger addition.' My mom introduces her, and she looks up, completely flooring me for a second when tropical blue eyes, large for her features and set in a completely devastating way on such a flawlessly ethereal face, look back at me. I can barley take my eyes off them, like she just draws me in with a colour that is uncomparable to any blue eyes I have ever seen. So clear and strong and vibrant. Like they just cut through all your crap and see your soul.
Shit.
She blushes as soon as she sees me and it makes everything inside of me feel weird, I'm not sure what the fuck kind of reaction it is. I swallow hard, push out this stupid feeling, these crazy thoughts and scan her face instead. Pretty hard to do while those eyes are focused on me.

'Hey, how you doing?' God, I sound completely predictable, worst line ever.
She has gone back to looking down at what she is doing and for a moment, I forget my mom is even standing beside me.

She looks young, unsure, guarded, and with those dazzling blues off me I can appreciate the pouted mouth, slender face and high cheekbones of a girl who probably models for a living. She has the face and the body, and definitely the flawless skin. I know a lot of models and wonder how we have never crossed paths, then I remember my mum said she's a Huntsberger kid. They only take in children who are usually running from a life that hurts them, and I give her a second look.
She doesn't look abused, neglected or even scarred. She just looks.... closed off.
'Hi.' She says flatly, and looks back down at what she's doing. Not interested. I don't miss that pretty clear tsignal. It's like a massive sign she just planted between us.
Ouch.
Definitely guarded, maybe she IS one of their typical children, that they like to take in. They always give a home to the ones who need it most, and I wonder what her story is. She hides it well, and for once I can't read someone. My gift eludes me and suddenly I just want to know; I don't know why, there's something about her and looking at her, trying to ignore my presence, I really want to get inside her head.

'You're a chatty one, aren't you?' I laugh, attempt to break the ice as my mother leaves me too it, watching me with a smile. She always encourages me to interact with the kids she shelters with her love. She has very few who come here from her charity, I'm used to meeting them, but this one..... she's something else.
I can normally spot it a mile away, figure out what the story is...violence, neglect, sexual abuse...sometimes it's just a runaway, or parents who died from drug overdose. She looks like a girl from the streets of the Hampton's; healthy, tanned, well dressed in jeans and a unicorn T-shirt with sparkly shit all over it. Cute and perky. Clean and manicured. No hint of anything, except in those eyes that are like a doorway to another place. So much behind that closed door.
'Shhh, leave her be. Sophie is just fine once she warms to you, stop teasing her.' My mom throws me a warning glare and tends to making coffee. I get the message; this one is a personal case. My mom rarely takes a kid to heart unless its something really bad. I double glance her and feel that horrible gut ache.... last kid my mom was this close with, his dad had been sodomising him daily, locking him in the basement and starving him. I glance at her again and try so hard to figure why anyone would hurt someone as angelic looking as her. She has a strength about her, but there's an overwhelming aura of vulnerability that just knocks me off kilter.
She's still mixing batter and it bugs me that she really has no interest in me, that those eyes are hidden from this angle. I walk forward and dip my finger in what she's mixing, in an attempt to catch her attention, force her to look at me. It backfires and I give her a fright, seeing her jump and hop back defensively. 
Fuck.
It's like a little flash behind her wall, a moment of fear and panic at me getting too close and in an instant, I see it. She's definitely an abuse case, all the signs are their and it makes me feel instantly sick to my stomach for her. I move back slowly, trying not to react, because I don't want to embarrass her. I shouldn't have gotten in her space; read the signs and stayed back. I feel like such an asshole.
She takes a long slow breath, attempts to get herself back to cool and guarded and I see the slight tremble in that delicate mouth, sucker punching me and making me feel even shittier about scaring her. She's a runner, I can tell. Flight or fight so ingrained in that pretty little face, it's second nature...whoever did whatever they did. It must run deep. 
Fucking bastards.

'Tastes good...you must have the magic touch.' I say it softly, sucking the revolting mixture from my finger and wondering what the hell my mom is making, moving back to get out of her space without gagging. 
Six feet minimum, my mom always said, give the kids six feet or more to breathe. If they want you closer they will let you know. In her case, I'm getting the vibe she wants the world twelve feet away at all times and that only strengthens the fact someone messed her up for a long time. The ones who have lived with it long term, they are the ones who show the least of it on the surface. Like her. 
I bet all her scars and pains are under thirty layers of concrete and she tells no one without a fight. 
She's back to mixing, trying to appear unaffected. It makes my heart bleed for her.
So young to be so afraid.
'She has, if she only had a softer touch and more patience.' My mom laughs and comes to remove the bowl from her swiftly, she hands her another instead, that is filled with a new mixture and a fresh spoon. I watch with interest, the hand off, and notice even my mom avoids touching her. No contact at all, not even her normal little affections she has for some of the kids. Its textbook for my mom.
Sexual and violent. 
Mother fucker. I feel that welt of anger rise in me from somewhere deep. People who abuse little innocents like her, deserve to be tortured to death slowly.

'You can massacre this one if you like.' my mom giggles and Sophie's face warms a little, a slight relaxation in her taut muscles. I can't tear my eyes off her, wanting to peel away the layers and figure her out. She's like this beautiful mystery that's shrouded in sadness and it really gets to me. 
She catches me looking at her and glares defensively. Warning me off, telling me to stay away and I smile back in a bid to ease her suspicion. I'm making her uncomfortable, being an ass and I should know better. She's female...clearly has a thing about males. I need to back off.
I pick up a piece of fruit from the bowl and look anywhere but at her, even with my eyes elsewhere, looking around the kitchen, I can feel the icy glares aimed my way and try to ignore it. All my own fault, I made her feel threatened, and now shes trying to make sure it goes no further. 
It won't.... I'm not that kind of an asshole.
'You redecorated?' I ask my mom, looking for anything else to talk about while blondie is trying to kill me with laser eyes and seriously beating the shit out of whatever she's mixing.  I think I maybe helped kill a cake.
'Nope... Just changed a few accessories.' My mom smiles back at me then spies some spillage beside Sophie's bowl, hands me a wet cloth without hesitation, a big hint I should clean it up. I don't exactly think my mom realises that Sophie is sending out a huge STAY THE FUCK AWAY  arrow, at me.
I put down the apple and make a play to clean up the mess , without getting closer, trying to keep my distance. I barely get near and she lifts the bowl and moves further away. I feel deflated, sucky. I managed to make her widen her 'no go zone' from six feet to eight.... just by being an ass.
Well done Arry.
She waits till I hand it back to my mom and get further away before she returns to her safe spot and my eyes are instantly drawn back to her. Even lacking conversation, lacking eye contact. I just want to know her. I want to know her story, how she got here, if she's staying. I wonder if this is the kid Jake mentioned in passing when he called me a couple months back and swallow hard. 
I hope not.
He said she was a runaway, on the streets, from a lifetime of abuse at her own fathers hands. If she is the same kid..... fuck. I look her over again and can't see the connection. I had imagined that girl would be skinny, malnourished, closed tight, jumpy and obvious about her pain. Like most of the kids my mom saw. This one is nothing like that. You have to look deeper to see it.
The phone starts ringing and my mom takes it from the wall, utters a hello to my aunt, then gestures two minutes to the girl and leaves the room. Taking the phone with her as she chats in her native tongue and leaves us to it.

I see the panic flare across that face for a fleeting moment, and realise she isn't too happy to be alone with me. Not that I blame her; my mom is so used to me helping out at the centre, leaving me with kids, she forgets I'm a stranger to this one. Although kid isn't the right word for her, she's sort of inbetween.... not a kid, yet not a woman either. 
I guess she got old enough to run, and did so. Run from whoever was hurting her. I can't even imagine what that must have been like. She looks too fragile to go it alone.
'Huntsberger's huh? So you're Leeloo's new sister?' I try to relax her, show I am no threat in any way. All thoughts of anything else are gone. I don't want to scare her, or date her.... I just want to help her feel a little bit safer around me.
She shrugs, eyes still down and I frown and chew my lip. I pushed her further into herself and now I want her to come out and talk to me. I lean forward to grab my apple, letting my eyes skim the table to relieve her from my weird and obvious staring, and don't see her move around until it bumps and rolls out of reach and realise she's banged into it. 
I dip to catch the fruit, but so does she and then she panics when I get too close. Standing up and seeing I'm almost face to face with her and she's backed up against the table, hands up, breathing heavily and curling into herself defensively. It's like shes waiting on me to punch her in the face or grab her in some way and it cuts to the core. Hits me in the gut that she is this afraid of me getting close. She looks completely terrified in that second, skin drained white, eyes huge and wounded, and I don't think one girl has ever made me feel so god damn fucked up in one look.
'I'm sorry, didn't mean to get so close. I'm not going to touch you.' I don't know how to react. I lift my hands to show her I won't and move back slowly, steadily, unsure what else to do. I hate how she's looking at me right now. She just looks poised to run fast and far, and I know stopping her will only make this worse. 
My mom will beat the shit out of me for this.
'I need to go home.' she sounds so small, it hurts. Voice shaking, soft, almost inaudible. I can't get my eyes off that face. I think there's a good chance she will haunt me for an eternity with how she looks right now. I can never understand what makes a guy do this to a girl. Especially his own kid.

'I'll go...You stay, you obviously were in the middle of something with my mom.' 
She looks at me like I have two heads, that cute face turning from fear to a frown, if it wasn't following that look I would have smiled. She's cute as frowner, and it seems to expel all fear in a second.
'Put your hands down...that's lame.' She nods at my raised palms, sounding more stroppy than scared and I have to admire her ability to recover quickly. I guess its all part of how she got through life.
She's a survivor.

'I guess it is. You just looked like for a second you might want to take a low blow at my family jewels.' I lower them, still moving back and smile, at just how cute she actually is when she forgets to be defensive for a second. A little hint of another girl in there, maybe one with a sense of humour and little bit of sass.
You can't take that out of a survivor.
'I really will go. Just need to grab a can of coke from the refrigerator behind you...you know, or you could, so I stay over here.'  It's a lame delay tactic, but I am not ready to just go. I like her. There's something about her that I can't put my finger on, beyond how pretty she is.

'You don't need to go, it's your mom's house. I can just come back another time.' She glances at the refrigerator and moves to get me a soda. Watching her movements, she's not graceful and swan like, but it somehow suits her. I can imagine her being a girl who trips on nothing and can play a mean game of baseball. She has an air of tomboy, even though she is dressed like any other teen girl from around here.

'I'm home for a week, It's cool. I can get out of your way and leave you to bore yourself to tears with my mom. Just leave me some cake as a thanks before you go.' I wait until she slides the can across the table and gets back, before I reach for it. This time she doesn't move as far away and I have a little internal hooray at that tiny inch of progress. Eight feet, back to six. It's huge.
'You don't want to eat the cakes I make...... I kill everything I touch. I am not a good cook.' She blinks at me seriously and I see it again, hints of funny. Hints of sassy. 
God, I want to know this girl. 
I was always a sucker for a girl with feistyness...like Leila. I see Leila in her, another sad story behind a girl who is stronger than her scars. Leila is one of my closest friends, like a sister to me.
'I have a stomach made of steel, if I can handle my room mates attempts, then pretty sure yours won't kill me. Besides, I kinda want to see how bad it can be. I'm intrigued now that you said you kill everything you touch.' I smile at her impulsively and get an instant glare.
'You really don't trust me, do you?' I can't stop smiling at her, she brings it out in me with those ferocious looks and hateful furrows of her brow. It's like a kitten trying to attack you.

'I don't know you... I don't trust anyone I don't know.' She's looking at me, eating into me with tropical blue eyes and I let her. I can feel her picking me apart, trying to suss me out and I don't want her to see a threat. I want her to know she can trust me...that my intentions are pure. I just want to earn her friendship, get below the surface that she lets the world see. She's complex as hell and maybe only sixteen in age, but that mind and soul are way older.
'Clever girl...It's not a bad way to be. Earning trust happens to be something I'm good at though.' 
'Doubt I'll be around long enough for that to ever happen.' She responds flatly. Warning me off, cutting me down in any way she knows how, to make it clear that I don't get close. I'm not even phased one little bit; the best things in life are those that take a lot of work to achieve...I have a feeling she won't be any different, and I am so ready for something worthwhile in my life.

'I should make the most of a new face in the street then...You could always come hang out with my friends and me, go for pizza, or whatever.' I say it casually, hoping it's not too soon, but I want it out there. An olive branch, a hand that says we can maybe be friends. She gawps at me like I am insane and I have to curb the urge to grin. She has a way of making angry, hateful looks, irresistibly cute.
'Yeah..I don't think so , you're too old. I don't like boys.' She answers snottily, furrowing her brows and making a clear show of indifferent disinterest. Looking back down at the table with a big 'back off buddy'. 
Fear. 
I'm not going to give up, I have to see those blue eyes again.

'I'm not that old..You have to be what? Sixteen..I mean you look around that age, maybe seventeen. I'm not asking for date, I just mean to hang with people you might make friends with, you know, with being new here.' I watch her stir the shit out of what is left of the cake mix and hope to god she doesn't intend baking it. Pretty sure all the flour has probably glooped by now, from overworking it. 
Well, she did say she can't cook.
'I'm fourteen, and I don't need more friends. I met some kids at school that are okay. I prefer to just do things by myself.' 
I blanche at her age admission and do a double take. There is no way in hell she is that young, I don't believe it. She's got too much of a wise look in her eyes and she's clearly further in puberty than most her age. Jesus Christ. That could have been messy if I had kept pursuing a less than pure mind set early on.
Definitely no dates...ever............. For like maybe five years.
'Wow, really? Shit. You definitely look older. Look I'm not angling for anything...I'm not like that. Even if you were sixteen, or whatever, I really did mean just pizza, just hanging out.' I forget myself for a second, blown away with really trying to see her as that young and move forward. Seeing her whole body freeze is like a slap in the face and I back off again. I really need to remember this girl likes her space, not to cross it. I hate seeing her backing into defensive. 
'I don't like strangers, or crowds, or pizza.' She answers quickly, avoiding my eye again and I sigh. She is going to be a tough nut to break through. Charm and smiles aint going to mean a thing to her, I'm flying blind with a girl that isn't swayed by good DNA, chat up lines or even the normal witty Carrero charm. This one is going to test all my limits and skills.

'I get the feeling that whatever I suggest will get a rebuff, and now I'm starting to sound like a desperate weirdo trying to make a date. Look, offers always there if you get bored. When I'm home....which is every month....then whatever. We're neighbours, and you're now one of my closest friends sisters. Leila and I go way back. I'm just being friendly.' I lean back against the counter behind me and smile, meeting her gaze finally and those eyes that are becoming a little bit addictive. She narrows them on me, still glaring, still the cutest thing I have ever seen.

'I don't need friendly.' She points out. Extremely serious.

'Everyone could use friends, even just one.' I lift a brow in a bid to appeal to her softer side, It falls flat.

'I don't need any, not even one.' She drops the spoon in the bowl and finally puts that poor mix to rest. 
RIP cake batter.

'I'm not just any one.' I grin at her, coaxing softly and almost high five myself when I see the tiny hint of a plausible smile. The first crack in her armour. Its a worthwhile reward and a little hint that she has a nice smile. 
God, I want to see her smile, I think I just found my new purpose in life. To make this girl smile, even once. Just for me.

'You're lame. I think you maybe just need to go find a girl who may actually be interested. This one isn't.' She picks up the spoon and licks the batter in a really juvenile way, not sexy at all, not even trying to be, and I grimace with her. I know how bad it tastes, I should have forewarned her not to put it in her mouth.

'I'm not someone who gives up. I will ask you every time I see you...You will cave one of those times.' I shift to get comfy, glad she hasn't insisted I still leave. I kind of like it here.

'Find me the elusive last unicorn and I'll think about it.' She sighs heavily, and that same ghost of a smile peaks out at me. I find myself willing her to just let it loose, watching that mouth a little too closely and I have to remind myself that she is only fourteen....back off. This isn't right.

'Is that a challenge?' I focus on what she said, wondering what the hell she is on about, but the t-shirt is maybe a clue. Some sparkly white horned horse. She obviously has a serious addiction to Unicorns. Good to know. Maybe a subtle way in. 
If I can figure it out then she might just rethink a pizza date...not a date...hanging out. 
Kid, remember. 
Too young, too scarred. 
Just friends.

'Sorry about that mia Bambino's... family like to talk. I hope you were getting acquainted with Arry, my golden child. Such a good boy for his mamma.' My mother pinches my cheek as she swans past and blows a kiss at me, loves to just embarrass her kids at every opportunity and I roll my eyes.  I catch Sophie giggling at it though, that elusive smile and it's better than I expected. It's a perfect smile. Lightens her whole face, brings out her eyes and I smile straight back impusively. 
Okay, so maybe I am a little bit enamoured with her...who wouldn't be? She's crazily alluring and when she smiles...... Sunshine.

'Sophie was turning me down flat. Seems this one isn't interested in pizza dates.' I point out to my mom, I want Sophie to know that it's innocent, my offer to hangout.

'I should think not.' My mom slaps my arm hard and I literally gawp at her in shock. 
What the f.... Mamma. 
Protective much. Jesus Christ, that stung. Even for my slap happy mother, that was a semi abusive slap. Maybe I should ring her own hotline.

'What the hell was that for?' I rub my arm and glare at her.

'Because I know you, she is not on your radar...ever. Leave her alone and ..Sophie dear...' She turns to Sophie with a warm smile , the girl nods at her and I shake my head behind my moms back. Completely misread all my intentions. Well, maybe not the first thoughts when I walked in here...but the ones I have now.

'You have my permission to slap him in the man parts, if he ever tries to proposition you again.'
Classy mom. Real classy.

'That's not what I was doing...Jeeze, give a guy a break. I was trying to be nice. It was in no way a loaded invite.' I shrug, but move fast when I see aggressive mother hen moving my way. Time to go, my mamma is slapping me with dish clothes and I get the hint she thinks I am trying to angle her sweet kid into something vulgar. That is never going to happen. I have way more sense and I can tell this girl is a hands off, forever, type of a deal.
'Out, out...it's girl time and you are not invited.' She's pushing me and I go, reluctantly.

'I'm going, besides...I have a challenge to work out.' I throw her a wink, maybe it's a dumb move but it's organic. I catch her looking at me warily, mask back in place and really not sure how to take me. My mind is made up in that second...fuck a shower and food. I am on a hunt to find that elusive unicorn and maybe a chance at seeing her again.


* * * 

I sit through the movie, bored to tears, but intent on the answer, pen poised on the post it note, so I can turn this crap off. I have no clue if this is what she meant, but it wasn't hard to find with a little help from google.
The last Unicorn, some lame cartoon from the eighties.
I was lucky to find a shop in town that had one, and I couldn't resist the hanging display of fluffy toys nearby at the checkout when I went to pay for it. A pink haired fluffy white Unicorn to go with her movie, a little mascot if she really is into them. The cashier offered to gift wrap and I thought 'sure', seeing how much she likes sparkly shit, I opted for the silver bag and paper to match and figured it would be nicer to give her them this way. Watching the woman make swift work of both. 
I never intended to unwrap the DVD, but I really wanted to surprise her with the answer, beyond just finding the movie...and now like an idiot I am suffering over an hour of unicorns turning to humans just to find they have all been hiding in the sea...wait...sea...Yesssssss.
I found your Unicorn Sophie.
I write it down, grinning wildly and stick it to the DVD case. Hauling the disc from my player and put it all back together, re-wrapping and pushing it back in the bag with the other package. I smile at my genius; this was too easy. She will need to do better than this if she wants to issue a challenge. I only wasted a few hours on this, well maybe a whole day, but I had no other plans anyway.
I pick up the bag to go and spy my stack of note cards on the desk in my room, stopping to write her a note quickly.
If not pizza, then maybe a milkshake, anytime you might be bored. No strings attached, no crowds, and no promises to be friends. We can sit at complete opposite tables. Enjoy your unicorns. Sophabelle. x A 
I read it twice, checking it's not pushy. That it's clear that I expect nothing in return for this. I just want to see her smile next time I see her, nothing else. I get that she has reason to keep me at arms length, that this is not going to be easy to get her to relax with me. I turn it over and scrawl a quick unicorn doodle on the reverse side, I have no idea why. I guess I just want her to laugh when she opens it.... it's not exactly my best work. I slide it in so it faces out, will be the first thing she sees and slide the thing into the bag. The thought of that cute giggle is in my head and I smile when I pick the bag up to cradle in my arm as I grab my coat and cell. I just need to go head to her parents house and leave it there for her ,when she goes home. Then I guess, I should actually go meet the friends who have been texting me for the last few hours and actually get that pizza.

Bonus scene - Sophie meets Arrick for the first time. The Carrero Series - Her POV

This has been requested by so many. even though it never features in the original books, it seems all of you want to know how this went down. So here we are....the start of Sophie and Arry.

Universal book links



Book 1 - myBook.to/TheCarreroEffect
Book 2 - myBook.to/CarreroInfluence
Book 3 - myBook.to/CarreroSolution
Book 4 - myBook.to/CarreroHeart1
Book 5 - myBook.to/CarreroHeart2
Jake's POV - myBook.to/JakesPOV
Just Rose - getBook.at/JustRose



I drop the wooden spoon in the bowl as batter splashes back in my face and recoil in disgust, wiping it out of my eye and huff stroppily that I just cannot get the knack of this. Sylvana laughs and tends to my face with a dish towel she has over her shoulder, dabbing at me lightly to clean it off.

'Oh Sophie, Bambino.... Don't be so aggressive with stirring. Be gentle with the batter, or you will pound the air out of the mixture.' She smiles softly and picks the spoon back up to hand to me, pushing the bowl back against me on the wooden surface. I frown at the heavy ceramic beast and make another attempt at this. A lot less grace than the first attempt and I get it up my Unicorn t-shirt alarmingly. I sigh and glare at the mess I have just splattered over twinkles... I love this top. I am totally gutted.

'I really don't think baking is my thing.' I point out defeatedly, this is another cooking lesson with 'Mamma Carrero' that I am failing at. We have one every few days, she calls it 'bonding time' to quiz me on how I am settling in with the foster parents she has placed me, and without fail I just make something awful. She has so much patience and no ends to supplies that I make inedible.

I like that she's keeping tabs on me, she reminds me of Jake so much, she has his eyes and his easy manner and I feel like I can relax with her. The way I relax with Jake and Emma , to keep me safe, to look after me. She found me a home with people who live close by and so far so good. They seem to like me, they even let me put a lock on my door so I feel safe around them. I guess in time I can maybe relax around them and stop questioning if this is all real all the time. I have siblings, for the first time in my life and even though they all seem nice, I'm just not ready to bond with any of them yet. I mean this could be temporary, it's just a foster home after all. I don't want to get my hopes up just yet.

I like Sylvana, she doesn't make me feel like I'm anything different. She doesn't bring up the stuff I don't want to talk about, even though I know it's part of her job. I mean, the support worker I see weekly is from her own charity... he told me she is the reason I got homed so fast. It's almost unheard of for a fourteen year old runaway to find a family like the Huntsberger's so easily. I guess I owe all this to her, and Jake and Emma. I owe them everything. I know it probably won't last so I aim to enjoy it while I can, build up my strength, incase I need to leave or go back to the streets again and fend for myself.

I look at Sylvana and feel so much love for her.

I just wish I knew how to express it all a little better. It's easy with Emma...she gets me, she doesn't expect me to say anything. She just knows.

'Mamma..Where are you? I'm home.' A male voice that sounds so much like Jake, echoes down the hall and I falter, my mixing poised as I freeze. I am not good with strangers, yet this one sounds like Jake so I'm not sure if it's him or not. There's something different in the voice though, only slightly and my heart beats faster as Sylvana walks to the kitchen door, patting the flour from her dress as she greets the voice. I drop my eyes to the bowl and continue with the mess I'm making, gripping the spoon tight and hoping whoever it is doesn't stay long. Heart rate elevating and breathing getting a little shallower. I am still not good at coping with my anxiety, but I'm learning. I breathe slowly to combat the suffocating feeling in my chest and focus on slow stirs to concentrate.

'Ahhh, il mio bambino.' Sylvana walks forward into a tall frame who embraces her, I can see sandy hair and wide shoulders over her own frame, strong arms encircle her as they hug. It's definitely not Jake.

'Hey mamma, mi sei mancato' The male voice sounds low and husky, that same Jake depth of tone and I wonder if this is the elusive brother. Sylvana talks about Arrick a lot, but he's always away at college, or travelling, this is the first time he's been here while I have, it would make sense, seeing as he's clearly bilingual. I pause and hold my breath. Waiting. I know she will introduce him and I feel the panic rise in my throat. Hands going cold and body icing with apprehension.

They both move as she turns to me and I duck my eyes back to what I'm doing, overcome with shyness and unable to look up. Trying to hold myself in check so I don't make an idiot of myself. I have the urge to check my hair is still tied up neat in my ponytail. 
'Arry this is Sophabelle, our newest Huntsberger addition.' Sylvana's voice pulls me up, almost like magic, the woman is clever with her spells of persuasion. And I find myself connecting to a pair of hazel brown eyes, studying me coolly. I'm surprised they are not green, like Jake's and Sylvana's, yet somehow these are nicer, warmer, and deeper. I shake myself at the trance he almost causes me, forgetting myself for a second. I feel heat hit my cheeks as I blush and look away, his gaze is a little too intense for my liking and instantly feel defensive.
'Hey, how you doing?' He speaks to me and I curse that I have to do this. I am used to the little circle of people who have surrounded me for the past weeks, I don't need anyone new to be around me right now. Strangers mean danger. 
I look up and take him in slowly, warily. The broad strong shape of a teen, maybe late teens. He isn't ugly, he's kind of cute, except he has Giovanni's nose, which is a shame because it's a bit odd at the bridge. I like his hair...it's spiky and kind of nice in colour and a really nice cut, he seems to spend time styling it too, which I guess I like. He has a nice taste in clothes anyway, jeans, sneakers and a tight grey t-shirt with some vague fighting club or something on the front which highlights the fact he works out. He looks a little bit like his brother, yet not, and I decide I don't like him. He is a bit too good looking to be a nice guy.
'Hi.' I say flatly, and look back down at what I'm doing. Not interested.
Too cocky, too chatty, too smiley. He will just be like every other guy on the planet. 
'You're a chatty one aren't you?' he laughs, it makes me squirm, because it's kind of nice in a completely awful way and I glare at him for insulting me. I think he might actually be an ass hole, now that I think of it. I mean who uses lines like 'how you doing?' anyway. Pretty sure it's a lame veiled attempt at saying 'want a date?' Which I don't.
He is way too old for me, I mean, I'm not even fifteen yet and he looks.... well not fifteen. Maybe eighteen, I don't know. He has a young look, but then again, there's something older in his eyes.
'Shhh, leave her be. Sophie is just fine once she warms to you, stop teasing her.' Sylvana scolds and moves off towards the sink to fill the coffee pot. Everyone in these families seem to reach for coffee pots at every opportunity, and it's plain weird. I hate the smell of the stuff, it makes me think of things I really don't want too and I bite down the sudden nausea that hits me in the gut.
I jump in fright when he appears at the table in front of me, reaching in to dip his hand in what I'm mixing and I drop the bowl and spoon and jump back as though he's scolded me; even though he didn't touch me. He doesn't react, hand still in the bowl, eyes come to me and his face straightens a little. A slight frown as he slowly draws away and smiles softly, movements extremely controlled like he senses he shouldn't have done that. It does nothing to clam me though and I'm tense all over.
My heart racing, embarrassment flows over me and I look away, moving back to grab the spoon and die of shame that I reacted so noticeably. I can't help it. I hate people coming too close, especially men and that's what he is, even though he's young. He's a threat. He's male and he's obviously a guy who can pull girls easily. Just not me, never me. I inhale deeply and swallow down hard.
'Tastes good...you must have the magic touch.' He says it softly, but I notice he's moved back to give me breathing space and I relax a tiny smidgen. I don't answer, but just stare at the bowl and mix some more.
'She has, if she only had a softer touch and more patience.' Sylvana laughs and comes to remove the bowl from me swiftly, she hands me another instead, that is filled with a new mixture and a fresh spoon.
'You can massacre this one if you like.' She giggles beautifully, warming my ice a little. I glance his way as she moves and catch him looking at me, sort of up and down, as though he's trying to suss me out and I automatically glare at him; if he's looking for an easy target then he will meet his match. I'm not some defenceless little kid who would let some teen romeo have a go. I will burn his pretty face off, or stab him with this wooden spoon if I have too. I have no interest in boys or men, or those that are inbetween, like him.
He smiles at me and I just glare harder, warning him off. No point leading these types on and giving him the wrong idea. I already met his type at school, the first week here and they soon learned that Sophie bites.
He picks up an apple from the fruit bowl and leans against the kitchen counter, getting comfy as his mother makes fresh coffee and dollops my batter into cake pans. His eyes leave me and wander around the room as he takes a bite and crunches noisily. Who even eats that loud? Weirdo..
'You redecorated?' He says to her and I watch that profile for a second. Okay, he's not ugly...he's actually kind of cute, for a guy. But he's a jack ass so what does it matter? 
I go back to mixing aggressively and let out a little of my prickliness on the new mixture, sloshing some over the bowl clumsily. I curse under my breath. His presence is making me antsy and I want him to just leave, so we can go back to our, Sylvana and Sophie time. I am starting to depend on these visits as part of my routine and he is ruining my calm.
'Nope... Just changed a few accessories.' Sylvana smiles back at him, then notices my mess, and hands him a wet cloth. Without hesitation, he puts down his apple and leans forward to start cleaning around the bowl I have on the table. As his arm gets near mine, I step back again, lifting the bowl to make it look like I am giving him space to clean. I catch the flicker of his eyes on me and he says nothing. Just wipes the surface and hands it back to her. I put the bowl back down and only move back when he moves away. 
The phone starts ringing and Sylvana takes it from the wall, utters something in Italian then gestures two minutes to me and leaves the room.Taking the phone with her as she chats in fluent Italian and leaves us to it.
Leaves me with him!.... My breathing gets instantly heavier as anxiety starts to build up quickly. She never just leaves me with strangers, this is literally unheard of, ever. Normally Sylvana is very conscious of leaving me with people I don't know, she knows I don't like it and I don't care if it's her son. I drop the spoon and start looking around for an escape route almost impulsively, uncomfortable about being alone with him.
'Huntsberger's huh? So you're Leeloo's new sister?' His voice catches me mid panic and draws me back to him, I just stare at him, wondering why he is even trying to talk to me. Did I not make it blatantly clear that I'm not interested, god, he's as relentless as the boys at school, thick as one of them too. The reason I almost got expelled on the first day - for punching one square in the nose, for not leaving me alone.
I shrug, as way of an answer and decide I maybe just want to go home now. Last thing I need is Sylvana getting mad because I punched her son in the face. I am only just starting to feel at home here and I don't want to cause problems with the woman I depend on. 
I make a move around the table to get past him, then jump when he shifts to pick up his apple that he laid down, not seeing me until the last moment. I knock the table with my hip by accident and send it rolling off. 
We both make a grab for it and he gets way too close, almost on top of me as we make a play for the shiny red roly poly object on the floor and I recoil at the speed of light; only backing into the table stupidly, instead of away. He's in my face as he straightens up and I flinch, lifting my hands defensively in that split second, head caught in fear and flashback and almost choking on his aftershave as the full force of how he smells hits me hard. He stops, catches sight of my posture and lifts his hands away, moving back, eyes on mine steadily as I heave in breaths and try to stop myself from suffocating.
'I'm sorry, didn't mean to get so close. I'm not going to touch you.' He looks a little taken aback by the way I'm poised, apologetic and maybe sincere. I try to uncoil my muscles to look more natural, tears bite my eyes at just how stupid I must look and try to slide away from him. Mortified that I'm acting this way with Jake's brother, but this is how I am with every guy. Jake just never gets close enough to see if it's the same with him. I am trying so hard to regulate my breaths and just be normal.
'I need to go home.' It comes out so pitifully, voice shaking and suddenly the thought of my safe lockable space is screaming for me across the road.
'I'll go...You stay, you obviously were in the middle of something with my mom.' I stop in surprise, looking at him dumbfoundedly as he slowly backs away from me, making a show of keeping his hands up like I have a gun or something equally stupid. It just makes me forget myself for a moment and good old mouth comes out all by herself.
'Put your hands down...that's lame.' verbal diarrhoea at some strange guy, acting weird. he looks at his hands then breaks into a smile and drops them by his sides.
'I guess it is. You just looked like for a second you might want to take a low blow at my family jewels.' He keeps moving away and still looks at me steadily, that half smile brings out some surprising dimples that soften his whole face and I relax a tiny little bit. He has his moms dimples, they sort of give him a softer , more caring look and I guess it might not hurt that on him they look sort of maybe a little bit handsome.
'I really will go. Just need to grab a can of coke from the refrigerator behind you...you know, or you could, so I stay over here.' He raises his brows at me and it knocks me off guard, that he realises I don't want him near me,  how incredibly cute he actually is when he does that too, it's like he can change his whole face with just a mannerism. It's kind of freaky, some kind of sorcery, obviously invented to weaken girls.. I hesitate and look behind me at the huge steel refrigerator and then back at him, realising I would rather do it than have him come over again.
'You don't need to go, it's your mom's house. I can just come back another time.' I move back and get him the soda anyway. I pull out a cold one, after feeling for the coldest and then walk a little closer and slide it across the table, so he won't have to take it from me, I don't want him to touch me.
'I'm home for a week, It's cool. I can get out of your way and leave you to bore yourself to tears with my mom. Just leave me some cake as a thanks before you go.' He waits until I am back in my safe space before he moves to pick up the can and I mellow towards him a little. He really does seem to be trying to show me he isn't a threat and I wonder how much he knows about me. He didn't act like he knew anything at all, and I don't know if Sylvana would have told him. I get the feeling he maybe just senses something, and I have to admit, it makes me a little unsure.
'You don't want to eat the cakes I make...... I kill everything I touch. I am not a good cook.' I blink at him hopelessly, unsure why I am even encouraging conversation at all. I should just let him leave. I want him to leave.
'I have a stomach made of steel, if I can handle my room mates attempts, then pretty sure yours won't kill me. Besides, I kinda want to see how bad it can be. I'm intrigued now that you said you kill everything you touch.' He smiles at me and this time I bristle a little defensively, it's a hot smile and I wonder if it's his practised pick me up grin, he uses on girls he's being cute with. I narrow my eyes and stare at him for a second, eyeing him up with scrutiny.
'You really don't trust me, do you?' He smiles again,the half smile, the one I like but I just frown harder, trying to pick him apart.
'I don't know you... I don't trust anyone I don't know.' I keep studying him, aware that I am relaxing a little in his presence, I think the fact he's keeping his distance and maintains a cool calmness when he talks, it's helping. There's something sort of steady about him. Like he's so level, no surprises or sudden movements and he seems to have a sort of cool tone when he talks. I can't explain it, he just seems to be able to bring a stillness to the room that confuses me. I think it's maybe that he seems smarter than the average guy, able to read people maybe, and reacts to give them what they need, to relax. Or maybe it's something I should be wary of. Maybe he's devious and clever and really is just angling for something he will never get from me.
'Clever girl...It's not a bad way to be. Earning trust happens to be something I'm good at.' He drops the smile and instead regards me intensely, our eyes meeting and this time I don't look away. We just look at one another for a second; me trying so hard to figure him out, gauge what his intentions are and I have no clue what he is looking for in me.
'Doubt I'll be around long enough for that to ever happen.' I answer flatly. Warning him off, annoyed that he thinks he can ever just earn my trust. Very few have it. Emma...she's probably the only one who has all of it. No one else has full disclosure yet, not sure they ever will.
'I should make the most of a new face in the street then...You could always come hang out with my friends and me, go for pizza or whatever.' His question knocks me for six and I blanche at him, confused that someone like him would ask a kid to go with his friends to eat.
'Yeah..I don't think so , you're too old. I don't like boys.' I answer snottily, furrowing my brows and make a clear show of indifferent disinterest. Looking back down at the table and going back to stirring my bowl, forgetting all mention of leaving.
'I'm not that old..You have to be what? sixteen..I mean you look around that age, maybe seventeen. I'm not asking for date, I just mean to hang with people you might make friends with, you know, with being new here.' He is back to watching me and I feel the eyes burning into my face. 
'I'm fourteen, and I don't need more friends. I met some kids at school that are okay. I prefer to just do things by myself.' I stare at what I'm doing and sigh heavily, irritated and I don't even know why. I realise that my panic attack is gone, it's fizzled out and so has the fear I had been feeling. I glance up at him again and realise I know longer feel like I should bolt out of his presence. I guess maybe he's more like Jake than I realised, and maybe that's it. I wonder where Sylvana is and realise I can't even hear her out in the hall anymore.
'Wow, really? Shit. You definitely look older. Look I'm not angling for anything...I'm not like that. Even if you were sixteen, or whatever, I really did mean just pizza, just hanging out.' He moves forward towards the table and I freeze...Nope, not relaxed with him, just relaxed at the space he was giving me. I catch him from the corner of my eye, slowly very slowly moving back to his previous position and something inside of me thaws again. I have to kerb the urge to smile and not look up at him. He saw me react and he counteracted. He's not so dumb after all. Maybe he isn't a threat and really is just a nice guy.
'I don't like strangers, or crowds, or pizza.' I answer abruptly... one little white lie won't kill me. I mean I really love pizza but, all the rest is true.
'I get the feeling that whatever I suggest will get a rebuff, and now I'm starting to sound like a desperate weirdo trying to make a date. Look, offers always there if you get bored. When I'm home....which is every month....then whatever. We're neighbours, and your now one of my closest friends sisters. Leila and I go way back. I'm just being friendly.'  He leans back against the counter behind him and tries for another half smile, but I just narrow my gaze once more. Not sure how to take him at all, he's very smooth. He definitely has that Jake Carrero confidence and charm, and I'm just not sure it's as genuine. I don't know him at all.
'I don't need friendly.' I point out.
'Everyone could use friends, even just one.' He watches me with that infuriating smile that is starting to lose it's sparkle and I'm starting to think it's his come on smile, to win me round.
'I don't need any, not even one.' I raise my brows at him and drop the wooden spoon into the batter once more.
'I'm not just any one.' He grins this time and despite myself I smirk a little too.
'You're lame. I think you maybe just need to go find a girl who may actually be interested. This one isn't.' I pick up the spoon and lick it, grimacing at how disgusting cake batter is raw and wonder why the hell he even liked it. I am overly aware of the fact I have fully relaxed though, some weird sorcery he must have learned from his mother.
'I'm not someone who gives up. I will ask you every time I see you...You will cave one of those times.' He shifts against the unit and I watch him warily, settling when he only gets comfy and stays put.
'Find me the elusive last unicorn and I'll think about it.' I sigh, smirking to myself as my favourite movie comes to mind, knowing he will have no clue to what I am even on about. I don't even know why I am tolerating this conversation. I have zero interest in ever talking to him again, or ever going anywhere with him, or his friends.
'Is that a challenge?' He smiles and I just shrug, uninterested and really just wishing Sylvana would hurry up. It's almost like I psychically summon her and she wanders in, smiling brightly at both of us.
'Sorry about that mia Bambino's... family like to talk. I hope you were getting acquainted with Arry, my golden child. Such a good boy for his mamma.' She walks past him tweaking his cheek and air kissing at him, he eye rolls and smiles and just stays put. I find myself giggling at it, it just looks so wrong on someone his size and build. He smiles wider when he sees me giggling.
'Sophie was turning me down flat. Seems this one isn't interested in pizza dates.' I catch his eye on me and just frown at him. So much for denying it was date.
'I should think not.' She slaps Arry on the arm and he looks at her with complete mock shock.
'What the hell was that for?'  He rubs his arm and glares at Sylvana, I can't help but grinning smugly.
'Because I know you, she is not on your radar...ever. Leave her alone and ..Sophie dear...' She turns to me with a warm smile that draws my attention to her fully, I nod in question.
'You have my permission to slap him in the man parts, if he ever tries to proposition you again.'
'That's not what I was doing...Jeeze, give a guy a break. I was trying to be nice. It was in no way a loaded invite.' Arry shrugs, but then starts moving fast as his mother ushers him out by flapping a dishtowel in his direction, slapping at him and shepherding him out into the hall. I start giggling, catching the smile on his face and the parting look he gives me that catches my eye. 
Okay, so he's cuter than I thought, maybe I would go as far as saying a little bit gorgeous. Still not interested, still staying the hell away from him. I don't care if he does have a way of calming me down, it means nothing. He just needs to get within four feet and it's all undone anyway.
'Out, out...it's girl time and you are not invited.' Sylvana is pushing him.
'I'm going, besides...I have a challenge to work out.' He throws a wink back at me as he disappears out the door and I just stare out after him, torn between amusement and worry. I didn't issue a challenge , I was just trying to put him off and I'm not sure I like this at all. I frown after him, head a chaos of thoughts and feelings and I try to push down the rising anxiety once more. This is why I don't want friends...they don't know when to just leave me be.
Sylvana reappears moments after I hear the front door shut and smiles warmly at me, beaming and happy.
'I love my son dearly, he is a good boy really. Just a little bit of a slut, like his brother....don't pay any attention to him.' She winks at me fondly and goes back to dealing with the cake tins on the counter. I watch her for a moment and think about Jake....seeing him with Emma these past weeks, I think Jake's a reformed slut and possibly looking a lot like a guy who wants more from his PA. I push it down with a smile and picture Emma getting her happy ever after, warming a little with the thought.
* * * 
I spent the whole day with Sylvana, it's late and dark when I finally walk across to my own home and yawn as I get into the hallway, letting myself in. I can tell by the silence down here that my parents have already headed to bed, and as all my siblings all moved out before I ever moved in, then the house is pretty silent. I drop my coat on the rack and go to head upstairs quietly. Glad to have the solitary time .
'Miss Sophie.' The housekeeper Ivana calls to me from the bottom of the stair and I turn with a smile , it still weird's me out that we have servants, maids or whatever they call them. I mean I am still getting used to this whole grand house and the money factor. It's a far cry from where I started in life and sometimes I have to pinch myself that this isn't a dream.
'Yes Ivana?' I pause as she comes up to meet me and hands me a gift bag, silver sparkling bag with satin ribbon handles. I look at it with question, completely confused.
'Mr Carrero dropped this by and said to tell you, 'the challenge was too easy, you'll need to try harder next time.''She smiles warmly at me as I blink at the bag again, a lead weight dropping in my stomach and I stare at it. Unsure what to say.
'Um...Thanks.' I smile goofily, heart rate elevating and I turn and scale the stairs fast as I can, like my ass is on fire. Almost tipping the bag out onto the bed as soon as I get into my room. Two packages, both wrapped in sparkly paper drop out and I just look at them in complete confusion. Not sure what some strange guy dropping off gifts is meant to mean. I curse myself for encouraging this, it was never my intention. I don't want anything from him.
I really do consider just putting them back and taking them back across to Sylvana and handing them over, but my curiosity is killing me. I want to see what he has given me and I really am torn. 
After a second, the child in me wins out and I rip into the larger flatter of the two open hurriedly. It's a DVD of my favourite movie 'The last Unicorn'. Exactly what I was getting at and there's a post it note stuck on the front.
'The elusive unicorn is in the sea.'
I giggle at the fact he probably had to watch this to even know that and look to see if the seal on the case has been broken. It has, I guess he watched it or skimmed it anyway to even know the answer to my question. It hits me as completely hilarious to even imagine someone like him sitting looking through a unicorn movie to answer a girl he only just met. I shouldn't be impressed but I am, I mean the fact he even sourced this in only hours. Its a movie from the eighties.
I pick up the second one, its small and rounder, a little squishier and I rip it open faster than the first. A fluffy plump unicorn sits in the palm of my hand, cute and cuddly, yet small enough to be portable. I can carry this around in my bag...if I felt the inclination I mean, or wanted to even keep this stuff. Which I don't. Which I shouldn't, because it's not right. I don't want to give him the wrong idea and I don't really think its appropriate he gave me these things. 
I sigh as I move the bag to put them back inside and realise there's an envelope too.  A small one, like a note card size. I open it impulsively and giggle when I see the doodle of the unicorn on one side, badly drawn and so obviously by him. It's so awful its actually kind of cute and I shake my head, sighing with the effort he obviously made. I turn it over and see the neat handwritten scrawl on the other side and tense. 
If not pizza, then maybe a milkshake, anytime you might be bored. No strings attached, no crowds, and no promises to be friends. We can sit at complete opposite tables. Enjoy your unicorns. Sophabelle. x A 
I swallow hard when I read and reread it. Unsure, nervous and torn. I mean I know he says no strings, but it puts the fear of god into me that he has even gone this far to impress me. All my alarm bells ringing and I realise I need to put an end to whatever this is. I'm no innocent and naive kid who has no clue what goes on in men's heads, I'm painfully aware of what men expect for a little effort. It makes me feel sick to my stomach and my skin erupts in goosebumps as fear grips my heart.
I'll take it all back to his mother in the morning and have her tell him to just leave me be. I don't need someone like him in my life, trying to sweep me off my feet and lower my guard. He never will , so there's no point in him trying.We will never be anything more than neighbours.

'

Bonus scene - Sophie meets Arrick for the first time. The Carrero Series

This has been requested by so many. even though it never features in the original books, it seems all of you want to know how this went down. So here we are....the start of Sophie and Arry.

Universal book links



Book 1 - myBook.to/TheCarreroEffect
Book 2 - myBook.to/CarreroInfluence
Book 3 - myBook.to/CarreroSolution
Book 4 - myBook.to/CarreroHeart1
Book 5 - myBook.to/CarreroHeart2
Jake's POV - myBook.to/JakesPOV
Just Rose - getBook.at/JustRose



I drop the wooden spoon in the bowl as batter splashes back in my face and recoil in disgust, wiping it out of my eye and huff stroppily that I just cannot get the knack of this. Sylvana laughs and tends to my face with a dish towel she has over her shoulder, dabbing at me lightly to clean it off.

'Oh Sophie, Bambino.... Don't be so aggressive with stirring. Be gentle with the batter, or you will pound the air out of the mixture.' She smiles softly and picks the spoon back up to hand to me, pushing the bowl back against me on the wooden surface. I frown at the heavy ceramic beast and make another attempt at this. A lot less grace than the first attempt and I get it up my Unicorn t-shirt alarmingly. I sigh and glare at the mess I have just splattered over twinkles... I love this top. I am totally gutted.

'I really don't think baking is my thing.' I point out defeatedly, this is another cooking lesson with 'Mamma Carrero' that I am failing at. We have one every few days, she calls it 'bonding time' to quiz me on how I am settling in with the foster parents she has placed me, and without fail I just make something awful. She has so much patience and no ends to supplies that I make inedible.

I like that she's keeping tabs on me, she reminds me of Jake so much, she has his eyes and his easy manner and I feel like I can relax with her. The way I relax with Jake and Emma , to keep me safe, to look after me. She found me a home with people who live close by and so far so good. They seem to like me, they even let me put a lock on my door so I feel safe around them. I guess in time I can maybe relax around them and stop questioning if this is all real all the time. I have siblings, for the first time in my life and even though they all seem nice, I'm just not ready to bond with any of them yet. I mean this could be temporary, it's just a foster home after all. I don't want to get my hopes up just yet.

I like Sylvana, she doesn't make me feel like I'm anything different. She doesn't bring up the stuff I don't want to talk about, even though I know it's part of her job. I mean, the support worker I see weekly is from her own charity... he told me she is the reason I got homed so fast. It's almost unheard of for a fourteen year old runaway to find a family like the Huntsberger's so easily. I guess I owe all this to her, and Jake and Emma. I owe them everything. I know it probably won't last so I aim to enjoy it while I can, build up my strength, incase I need to leave or go back to the streets again and fend for myself.

I look at Sylvana and feel so much love for her.

I just wish I knew how to express it all a little better. It's easy with Emma...she gets me, she doesn't expect me to say anything. She just knows.

'Mamma..Where are you? I'm home.' A male voice that sounds so much like Jake, echoes down the hall and I falter, my mixing poised as I freeze. I am not good with strangers, yet this one sounds like Jake so I'm not sure if it's him or not. There's something different in the voice though, only slightly and my heart beats faster as Sylvana walks to the kitchen door, patting the flour from her dress as she greets the voice. I drop my eyes to the bowl and continue with the mess I'm making, gripping the spoon tight and hoping whoever it is doesn't stay long. Heart rate elevating and breathing getting a little shallower. I am still not good at coping with my anxiety, but I'm learning. I breathe slowly to combat the suffocating feeling in my chest and focus on slow stirs to concentrate.

'Ahhh, il mio bambino.' Sylvana walks forward into a tall frame who embraces her, I can see sandy hair and wide shoulders over her own frame, strong arms encircle her as they hug. It's definitely not Jake.

'Hey mamma, mi sei mancato' The male voice sounds low and husky, that same Jake depth of tone and I wonder if this is the elusive brother. Sylvana talks about Arrick a lot, but he's always away at college, or travelling, this is the first time he's been here while I have, it would make sense, seeing as he's clearly bilingual. I pause and hold my breath. Waiting. I know she will introduce him and I feel the panic rise in my throat. Hands going cold and body icing with apprehension.

They both move as she turns to me and I duck my eyes back to what I'm doing, overcome with shyness and unable to look up. Trying to hold myself in check so I don't make an idiot of myself. I have the urge to check my hair is still tied up neat in my ponytail. 
'Arry this is Sophabelle, our newest Huntsberger addition.' Sylvana's voice pulls me up, almost like magic, the woman is clever with her spells of persuasion. And I find myself connecting to a pair of hazel brown eyes, studying me coolly. I'm surprised they are not green, like Jake's and Sylvana's, yet somehow these are nicer, warmer, and deeper. I shake myself at the trance he almost causes me, forgetting myself for a second. I feel heat hit my cheeks as I blush and look away, his gaze is a little too intense for my liking and instantly feel defensive.
'Hey, how you doing?' He speaks to me and I curse that I have to do this. I am used to the little circle of people who have surrounded me for the past weeks, I don't need anyone new to be around me right now. Strangers mean danger. 
I look up and take him in slowly, warily. The broad strong shape of a teen, maybe late teens. He isn't ugly, he's kind of cute, except he has Giovanni's nose, which is a shame because it's a bit odd at the bridge. I like his hair...it's spiky and kind of nice in colour and a really nice cut, he seems to spend time styling it too, which I guess I like. He has a nice taste in clothes anyway, jeans, sneakers and a tight grey t-shirt with some vague fighting club or something on the front which highlights the fact he works out. He looks a little bit like his brother, yet not, and I decide I don't like him. He is a bit too good looking to be a nice guy.
'Hi.' I say flatly, and look back down at what I'm doing. Not interested.
Too cocky, too chatty, too smiley. He will just be like every other guy on the planet. 
'You're a chatty one aren't you?' he laughs, it makes me squirm, because it's kind of nice in a completely awful way and I glare at him for insulting me. I think he might actually be an ass hole, now that I think of it. I mean who uses lines like 'how you doing?' anyway. Pretty sure it's a lame veiled attempt at saying 'want a date?' Which I don't.
He is way too old for me, I mean, I'm not even fifteen yet and he looks.... well not fifteen. Maybe eighteen, I don't know. He has a young look, but then again, there's something older in his eyes.
'Shhh, leave her be. Sophie is just fine once she warms to you, stop teasing her.' Sylvana scolds and moves off towards the sink to fill the coffee pot. Everyone in these families seem to reach for coffee pots at every opportunity, and it's plain weird. I hate the smell of the stuff, it makes me think of things I really don't want too and I bite down the sudden nausea that hits me in the gut.
I jump in fright when he appears at the table in front of me, reaching in to dip his hand in what I'm mixing and I drop the bowl and spoon and jump back as though he's scolded me; even though he didn't touch me. He doesn't react, hand still in the bowl, eyes come to me and his face straightens a little. A slight frown as he slowly draws away and smiles softly, movements extremely controlled like he senses he shouldn't have done that. It does nothing to clam me though and I'm tense all over.
My heart racing, embarrassment flows over me and I look away, moving back to grab the spoon and die of shame that I reacted so noticeably. I can't help it. I hate people coming too close, especially men and that's what he is, even though he's young. He's a threat. He's male and he's obviously a guy who can pull girls easily. Just not me, never me. I inhale deeply and swallow down hard.
'Tastes good...you must have the magic touch.' He says it softly, but I notice he's moved back to give me breathing space and I relax a tiny smidgen. I don't answer, but just stare at the bowl and mix some more.
'She has, if she only had a softer touch and more patience.' Sylvana laughs and comes to remove the bowl from me swiftly, she hands me another instead, that is filled with a new mixture and a fresh spoon.
'You can massacre this one if you like.' She giggles beautifully, warming my ice a little. I glance his way as she moves and catch him looking at me, sort of up and down, as though he's trying to suss me out and I automatically glare at him; if he's looking for an easy target then he will meet his match. I'm not some defenceless little kid who would let some teen romeo have a go. I will burn his pretty face off, or stab him with this wooden spoon if I have too. I have no interest in boys or men, or those that are inbetween, like him.
He smiles at me and I just glare harder, warning him off. No point leading these types on and giving him the wrong idea. I already met his type at school, the first week here and they soon learned that Sophie bites.
He picks up an apple from the fruit bowl and leans against the kitchen counter, getting comfy as his mother makes fresh coffee and dollops my batter into cake pans. His eyes leave me and wander around the room as he takes a bite and crunches noisily. Who even eats that loud? Weirdo..
'You redecorated?' He says to her and I watch that profile for a second. Okay, he's not ugly...he's actually kind of cute, for a guy. But he's a jack ass so what does it matter? 
I go back to mixing aggressively and let out a little of my prickliness on the new mixture, sloshing some over the bowl clumsily. I curse under my breath. His presence is making me antsy and I want him to just leave, so we can go back to our, Sylvana and Sophie time. I am starting to depend on these visits as part of my routine and he is ruining my calm.
'Nope... Just changed a few accessories.' Sylvana smiles back at him, then notices my mess, and hands him a wet cloth. Without hesitation, he puts down his apple and leans forward to start cleaning around the bowl I have on the table. As his arm gets near mine, I step back again, lifting the bowl to make it look like I am giving him space to clean. I catch the flicker of his eyes on me and he says nothing. Just wipes the surface and hands it back to her. I put the bowl back down and only move back when he moves away. 
The phone starts ringing and Sylvana takes it from the wall, utters something in Italian then gestures two minutes to me and leaves the room.Taking the phone with her as she chats in fluent Italian and leaves us to it.
Leaves me with him!.... My breathing gets instantly heavier as anxiety starts to build up quickly. She never just leaves me with strangers, this is literally unheard of, ever. Normally Sylvana is very conscious of leaving me with people I don't know, she knows I don't like it and I don't care if it's her son. I drop the spoon and start looking around for an escape route almost impulsively, uncomfortable about being alone with him.
'Huntsberger's huh? So you're Leeloo's new sister?' His voice catches me mid panic and draws me back to him, I just stare at him, wondering why he is even trying to talk to me. Did I not make it blatantly clear that I'm not interested, god, he's as relentless as the boys at school, thick as one of them too. The reason I almost got expelled on the first day - for punching one square in the nose, for not leaving me alone.
I shrug, as way of an answer and decide I maybe just want to go home now. Last thing I need is Sylvana getting mad because I punched her son in the face. I am only just starting to feel at home here and I don't want to cause problems with the woman I depend on. 
I make a move around the table to get past him, then jump when he shifts to pick up his apple that he laid down, not seeing me until the last moment. I knock the table with my hip by accident and send it rolling off. 
We both make a grab for it and he gets way too close, almost on top of me as we make a play for the shiny red roly poly object on the floor and I recoil at the speed of light; only backing into the table stupidly, instead of away. He's in my face as he straightens up and I flinch, lifting my hands defensively in that split second, head caught in fear and flashback and almost choking on his aftershave as the full force of how he smells hits me hard. He stops, catches sight of my posture and lifts his hands away, moving back, eyes on mine steadily as I heave in breaths and try to stop myself from suffocating.
'I'm sorry, didn't mean to get so close. I'm not going to touch you.' He looks a little taken aback by the way I'm poised, apologetic and maybe sincere. I try to uncoil my muscles to look more natural, tears bite my eyes at just how stupid I must look and try to slide away from him. Mortified that I'm acting this way with Jake's brother, but this is how I am with every guy. Jake just never gets close enough to see if it's the same with him. I am trying so hard to regulate my breaths and just be normal.
'I need to go home.' It comes out so pitifully, voice shaking and suddenly the thought of my safe lockable space is screaming for me across the road.
'I'll go...You stay, you obviously were in the middle of something with my mom.' I stop in surprise, looking at him dumbfoundedly as he slowly backs away from me, making a show of keeping his hands up like I have a gun or something equally stupid. It just makes me forget myself for a moment and good old mouth comes out all by herself.
'Put your hands down...that's lame.' verbal diarrhoea at some strange guy, acting weird. he looks at his hands then breaks into a smile and drops them by his sides.
'I guess it is. You just looked like for a second you might want to take a low blow at my family jewels.' He keeps moving away and still looks at me steadily, that half smile brings out some surprising dimples that soften his whole face and I relax a tiny little bit. He has his moms dimples, they sort of give him a softer , more caring look and I guess it might not hurt that on him they look sort of maybe a little bit handsome.
'I really will go. Just need to grab a can of coke from the refrigerator behind you...you know, or you could, so I stay over here.' He raises his brows at me and it knocks me off guard, that he realises I don't want him near me,  how incredibly cute he actually is when he does that too, it's like he can change his whole face with just a mannerism. It's kind of freaky, some kind of sorcery, obviously invented to weaken girls.. I hesitate and look behind me at the huge steel refrigerator and then back at him, realising I would rather do it than have him come over again.
'You don't need to go, it's your mom's house. I can just come back another time.' I move back and get him the soda anyway. I pull out a cold one, after feeling for the coldest and then walk a little closer and slide it across the table, so he won't have to take it from me, I don't want him to touch me.
'I'm home for a week, It's cool. I can get out of your way and leave you to bore yourself to tears with my mom. Just leave me some cake as a thanks before you go.' He waits until I am back in my safe space before he moves to pick up the can and I mellow towards him a little. He really does seem to be trying to show me he isn't a threat and I wonder how much he knows about me. He didn't act like he knew anything at all, and I don't know if Sylvana would have told him. I get the feeling he maybe just senses something, and I have to admit, it makes me a little unsure.
'You don't want to eat the cakes I make...... I kill everything I touch. I am not a good cook.' I blink at him hopelessly, unsure why I am even encouraging conversation at all. I should just let him leave. I want him to leave.
'I have a stomach made of steel, if I can handle my room mates attempts, then pretty sure yours won't kill me. Besides, I kinda want to see how bad it can be. I'm intrigued now that you said you kill everything you touch.' He smiles at me and this time I bristle a little defensively, it's a hot smile and I wonder if it's his practised pick me up grin, he uses on girls he's being cute with. I narrow my eyes and stare at him for a second, eyeing him up with scrutiny.
'You really don't trust me, do you?' He smiles again,the half smile, the one I like but I just frown harder, trying to pick him apart.
'I don't know you... I don't trust anyone I don't know.' I keep studying him, aware that I am relaxing a little in his presence, I think the fact he's keeping his distance and maintains a cool calmness when he talks, it's helping. There's something sort of steady about him. Like he's so level, no surprises or sudden movements and he seems to have a sort of cool tone when he talks. I can't explain it, he just seems to be able to bring a stillness to the room that confuses me. I think it's maybe that he seems smarter than the average guy, able to read people maybe, and reacts to give them what they need, to relax. Or maybe it's something I should be wary of. Maybe he's devious and clever and really is just angling for something he will never get from me.
'Clever girl...It's not a bad way to be. Earning trust happens to be something I'm good at.' He drops the smile and instead regards me intensely, our eyes meeting and this time I don't look away. We just look at one another for a second; me trying so hard to figure him out, gauge what his intentions are and I have no clue what he is looking for in me.
'Doubt I'll be around long enough for that to ever happen.' I answer flatly. Warning him off, annoyed that he thinks he can ever just earn my trust. Very few have it. Emma...she's probably the only one who has all of it. No one else has full disclosure yet, not sure they ever will.
'I should make the most of a new face in the street then...You could always come hang out with my friends and me, go for pizza or whatever.' His question knocks me for six and I blanche at him, confused that someone like him would ask a kid to go with his friends to eat.
'Yeah..I don't think so , you're too old. I don't like boys.' I answer snottily, furrowing my brows and make a clear show of indifferent disinterest. Looking back down at the table and going back to stirring my bowl, forgetting all mention of leaving.
'I'm not that old..You have to be what? sixteen..I mean you look around that age, maybe seventeen. I'm not asking for date, I just mean to hang with people you might make friends with, you know, with being new here.' He is back to watching me and I feel the eyes burning into my face. 
'I'm fourteen, and I don't need more friends. I met some kids at school that are okay. I prefer to just do things by myself.' I stare at what I'm doing and sigh heavily, irritated and I don't even know why. I realise that my panic attack is gone, it's fizzled out and so has the fear I had been feeling. I glance up at him again and realise I know longer feel like I should bolt out of his presence. I guess maybe he's more like Jake than I realised, and maybe that's it. I wonder where Sylvana is and realise I can't even hear her out in the hall anymore.
'Wow, really? Shit. You definitely look older. Look I'm not angling for anything...I'm not like that. Even if you were sixteen, or whatever, I really did mean just pizza, just hanging out.' He moves forward towards the table and I freeze...Nope, not relaxed with him, just relaxed at the space he was giving me. I catch him from the corner of my eye, slowly very slowly moving back to his previous position and something inside of me thaws again. I have to kerb the urge to smile and not look up at him. He saw me react and he counteracted. He's not so dumb after all. Maybe he isn't a threat and really is just a nice guy.
'I don't like strangers, or crowds, or pizza.' I answer abruptly... one little white lie won't kill me. I mean I really love pizza but, all the rest is true.
'I get the feeling that whatever I suggest will get a rebuff, and now I'm starting to sound like a desperate weirdo trying to make a date. Look, offers always there if you get bored. When I'm home....which is every month....then whatever. We're neighbours, and your now one of my closest friends sisters. Leila and I go way back. I'm just being friendly.'  He leans back against the counter behind him and tries for another half smile, but I just narrow my gaze once more. Not sure how to take him at all, he's very smooth. He definitely has that Jake Carrero confidence and charm, and I'm just not sure it's as genuine. I don't know him at all.
'I don't need friendly.' I point out.
'Everyone could use friends, even just one.' He watches me with that infuriating smile that is starting to lose it's sparkle and I'm starting to think it's his come on smile, to win me round.
'I don't need any, not even one.' I raise my brows at him and drop the wooden spoon into the batter once more.
'I'm not just any one.' He grins this time and despite myself I smirk a little too.
'You're lame. I think you maybe just need to go find a girl who may actually be interested. This one isn't.' I pick up the spoon and lick it, grimacing at how disgusting cake batter is raw and wonder why the hell he even liked it. I am overly aware of the fact I have fully relaxed though, some weird sorcery he must have learned from his mother.
'I'm not someone who gives up. I will ask you every time I see you...You will cave one of those times.' He shifts against the unit and I watch him warily, settling when he only gets comfy and stays put.
'Find me the elusive last unicorn and I'll think about it.' I sigh, smirking to myself as my favourite movie comes to mind, knowing he will have no clue to what I am even on about. I don't even know why I am tolerating this conversation. I have zero interest in ever talking to him again, or ever going anywhere with him, or his friends.
'Is that a challenge?' He smiles and I just shrug, uninterested and really just wishing Sylvana would hurry up. It's almost like I psychically summon her and she wanders in, smiling brightly at both of us.
'Sorry about that mia Bambino's... family like to talk. I hope you were getting acquainted with Arry, my golden child. Such a good boy for his mamma.' She walks past him tweaking his cheek and air kissing at him, he eye rolls and smiles and just stays put. I find myself giggling at it, it just looks so wrong on someone his size and build. He smiles wider when he sees me giggling.
'Sophie was turning me down flat. Seems this one isn't interested in pizza dates.' I catch his eye on me and just frown at him. So much for denying it was date.
'I should think not.' She slaps Arry on the arm and he looks at her with complete mock shock.
'What the hell was that for?'  He rubs his arm and glares at Sylvana, I can't help but grinning smugly.
'Because I know you, she is not on your radar...ever. Leave her alone and ..Sophie dear...' She turns to me with a warm smile that draws my attention to her fully, I nod in question.
'You have my permission to slap him in the man parts, if he ever tries to proposition you again.'
'That's not what I was doing...Jeeze, give a guy a break. I was trying to be nice. It was in no way a loaded invite.' Arry shrugs, but then starts moving fast as his mother ushers him out by flapping a dishtowel in his direction, slapping at him and shepherding him out into the hall. I start giggling, catching the smile on his face and the parting look he gives me that catches my eye. 
Okay, so he's cuter than I thought, maybe I would go as far as saying a little bit gorgeous. Still not interested, still staying the hell away from him. I don't care if he does have a way of calming me down, it means nothing. He just needs to get within four feet and it's all undone anyway.
'Out, out...it's girl time and you are not invited.' Sylvana is pushing him.
'I'm going, besides...I have a challenge to work out.' He throws a wink back at me as he disappears out the door and I just stare out after him, torn between amusement and worry. I didn't issue a challenge , I was just trying to put him off and I'm not sure I like this at all. I frown after him, head a chaos of thoughts and feelings and I try to push down the rising anxiety once more. This is why I don't want friends...they don't know when to just leave me be.
Sylvana reappears moments after I hear the front door shut and smiles warmly at me, beaming and happy.
'I love my son dearly, he is a good boy really. Just a little bit of a slut, like his brother....don't pay any attention to him.' She winks at me fondly and goes back to dealing with the cake tins on the counter. I watch her for a moment and think about Jake....seeing him with Emma these past weeks, I think Jake's a reformed slut and possibly looking a lot like a guy who wants more from his PA. I push it down with a smile and picture Emma getting her happy ever after, warming a little with the thought.
* * * 
I spent the whole day with Sylvana, it's late and dark when I finally walk across to my own home and yawn as I get into the hallway, letting myself in. I can tell by the silence down here that my parents have already headed to bed, and as all my siblings all moved out before I ever moved in, then the house is pretty silent. I drop my coat on the rack and go to head upstairs quietly. Glad to have the solitary time .
'Miss Sophie.' The housekeeper Ivana calls to me from the bottom of the stair and I turn with a smile , it still weird's me out that we have servants, maids or whatever they call them. I mean I am still getting used to this whole grand house and the money factor. It's a far cry from where I started in life and sometimes I have to pinch myself that this isn't a dream.
'Yes Ivana?' I pause as she comes up to meet me and hands me a gift bag, silver sparkling bag with satin ribbon handles. I look at it with question, completely confused.
'Mr Carrero dropped this by and said to tell you, 'the challenge was too easy, you'll need to try harder next time.''She smiles warmly at me as I blink at the bag again, a lead weight dropping in my stomach and I stare at it. Unsure what to say.
'Um...Thanks.' I smile goofily, heart rate elevating and I turn and scale the stairs fast as I can, like my ass is on fire. Almost tipping the bag out onto the bed as soon as I get into my room. Two packages, both wrapped in sparkly paper drop out and I just look at them in complete confusion. Not sure what some strange guy dropping off gifts is meant to mean. I curse myself for encouraging this, it was never my intention. I don't want anything from him.
I really do consider just putting them back and taking them back across to Sylvana and handing them over, but my curiosity is killing me. I want to see what he has given me and I really am torn. 
After a second, the child in me wins out and I rip into the larger flatter of the two open hurriedly. It's a DVD of my favourite movie 'The last Unicorn'. Exactly what I was getting at and there's a post it note stuck on the front.
'The elusive unicorn is in the sea.'
I giggle at the fact he probably had to watch this to even know that and look to see if the seal on the case has been broken. It has, I guess he watched it or skimmed it anyway to even know the answer to my question. It hits me as completely hilarious to even imagine someone like him sitting looking through a unicorn movie to answer a girl he only just met. I shouldn't be impressed but I am, I mean the fact he even sourced this in only hours. Its a movie from the eighties.
I pick up the second one, its small and rounder, a little squishier and I rip it open faster than the first. A fluffy plump unicorn sits in the palm of my hand, cute and cuddly, yet small enough to be portable. I can carry this around in my bag...if I felt the inclination I mean, or wanted to even keep this stuff. Which I don't. Which I shouldn't, because it's not right. I don't want to give him the wrong idea and I don't really think its appropriate he gave me these things. 
I sigh as I move the bag to put them back inside and realise there's an envelope too.  A small one, like a note card size. I open it impulsively and giggle when I see the doodle of the unicorn on one side, badly drawn and so obviously by him. It's so awful its actually kind of cute and I shake my head, sighing with the effort he obviously made. I turn it over and see the neat handwritten scrawl on the other side and tense. 
If not pizza, then maybe a milkshake, anytime you might be bored. No strings attached, no crowds, and no promises to be friends. We can sit at complete opposite tables. Enjoy your unicorns. Sophabelle. x A 
I swallow hard when I read and reread it. Unsure, nervous and torn. I mean I know he says no strings, but it puts the fear of god into me that he has even gone this far to impress me. All my alarm bells ringing and I realise I need to put an end to whatever this is. I'm no innocent and naive kid who has no clue what goes on in men's heads, I'm painfully aware of what men expect for a little effort. It makes me feel sick to my stomach and my skin erupts in goosebumps as fear grips my heart.
I'll take it all back to his mother in the morning and have her tell him to just leave me be. I don't need someone like him in my life, trying to sweep me off my feet and lower my guard. He never will , so there's no point in him trying.We will never be anything more than neighbours.

'

The Carrero Heart - Seeing Sophie again. Arricks POV

Lovers of my books The Carrero Series will love this brand new bonus scene.
Universal book links
Book 1 - myBook.to/TheCarreroEffectBook 2 - myBook.to/CarreroInfluenceBook 3 - myBook.to/CarreroSolutionBook 4 - myBook.to/CarreroHeart1Book 5 - myBook.to/CarreroHeart2Jake's POV - myBook.to/JakesPOVJust Rose - getBook.at/JustRose
Please note - there is swearing and sexual references, this is not suitable for those under 18 years of age.


Read at your own risk!!
Arricks POV - Seeing Sophie again. (restaurant)


I push the money in the drivers hand as I follow Charlie and Tom out of the cab onto the sidewalk. I am still tired from my three hours in the training ring and starving right now, it's my turn to pay for lunch and I got to pick the venue. This place is new and no chance of Natasha hitting it with her colleagues on her lunch break either. I have been trying to put distance between us since the break up, trying to just stay out of her way and I hate that she has a knack for showing up wherever I am.
'Hurry up, man.' Tom, my sparring partner today is impatient as hell and throwing me a look that is supposed to hurry me up. I straighten on the street and glare him down, I am back on form lately and I will put him on his ass again if he keeps this up. I shove him in the shoulder towards the restaurant door and catch Charlie laughing at us. He's my trainer and at six foot seven, built like a giant brick shit house , I am not too keen on any reprimanding from him in public. He's one of the few guys who can match me in a ring and he isn't against trying hard to punch me out. I'm lucky I have speed and agility on my side.
'That was a good session, Arry. Keep it up and a championship will be yours my boy.' Charlie pats me on the back as we enter the building and the young female Maitre D rushes towards us with menu's grinning wildly. Tom scoots forward to deal with her, seeing a possible fuck buddy, as I turn to my main man. I spend so much time with him lately that we should be sick of seeing each other.
'I figured that focusing all my energy into beating the shit out of people, was better than letting myself drown in self pity.' I smile at him coolly, he knows how I have been these past weeks and he nods with a fatherly smile. He's twenty years older than me, but the guy has a seriously mean body and a demeanour that screams 'I will fuck you up.' No one knows how much of a softie he really is, how much I respect him and how lately, he has become an ear for my problems.
The small brunette is pointing into the back of the busy room at tables up near the back and Tom leads the way. We follow closely, stomachs rumbling, completely starving from an excessively energetic session and I feel good about how I'm doing with my training lately. I have focused everything on just doing that and nothing else. Taking a time out from Carrero Corp, taking time out of my own head and expelling all the shit that keeps messing me up - physically.

‘Is my princess ready to go?’ 
‘I am.’ 
The familiar sweet voice hits me like a sucker punch as we walk down the centre walkway of the room. I would recognise her voice anywhere, and it's like being hit with a thousand spiky pins all at once, over every single part of my body. It's been haunting me for weeks, she's never out of my head, or my dreams, always there in the shadows of my mind, every second. That laugh, her cute giggle, carefree and pure, and I am rendered completely incapable for a moment, turning impulsively to see the familiar small blonde head, with her back to me, leaving a table with a guy that is a shit sight to see. My breath catches in my throat and I literally can't move, immobile with a mix of pain, and just longing to see her.
I know who he is. I've seen him with her from afar. The guy who replaced me, who swooped in and caught her when I let her go, my careless abandonment of the most precious thing I ever had. She doesn't know how many times I stood outside her apartment and lost the courage to just go in and see her. How many times I caught sight of her coming out and left, afraid, ashamed. Unable to just tell her how much of a mistake I made. How I feel about her.
My stomach twists in my gut and the words are out almost impulsively.
‘Sophie?’ I sound pathetic, unsure and I'm aware I'm standing still, in the middle of the aisle while my mates shake their head at me and wander off. Charlie throws me that look...'Good luck',  he knows who she is, he's met her many a time on social occasions, he knows she's the reason my life fell to shit. Is still falling to shit. 
Sophie pauses for a second, I see her tense and I can't stop the way my eyes devour every little piece of her. Her small compact body, dressed in a pale printed dress that's cute, a woollen cardigan and flat shoes, she looks like Sophie of old like this, and it is just crushing what's left of my soul. Her hair back to blonde and looking every bit like the girl I dream about every night. I can't breathe.
This is agony.
The blonde guy with her, the guy I saw her with at her building, the guy Jake told me is the man she's serious with. He has her hand in his, they turn together and I have to hold onto every part of my self control to not just rip them apart and shove him half way across the room. I hate that he's touching her, that he gets to be with her. I hate that he's with her at all.
‘Hi.’ She says softly, surprise in her face; so perfect, a voice that can both wound me to the core and yet fill a part of me at the same time, those blue eyes that have been missing in my life, burn my soul with just one contact and I have to swallow hard to control how much it hurts. She looks like everything I miss. No girl has ever compared to how she looks, how beautiful she is, how she makes me feel. I was a fool to ever lose her, I deserve this bull shit right here. I deserve to feel this way. I deserve for this to hurt like crazy when I look at the innocence of her face, the fear in the depths of those mesmerising eyes. I put it there.
I never deserved you, baby.
She smiles past me, I guess at Charlie as he moves to our table, recognising him, and just long for her to look back at me, to bask in her attention for just a second, to remember what it feels like to connect with her in anyway. To have her undivided attention again. I can almost taste how badly I want that.
God I miss her so much - this is excruciating.
I thought I had felt pain these past weeks, missing her, seeing her from afar, but this - right here. It's worse than hell. Having her look at me like this; closed up, hidden behind the Sophie self defence system that is clearly on show, while lover boy slides his arm around her protectively. I want to throat punch him so bad right now.
Get your hands off her.
I try to not visually react.

‘How have you been?’ I clear my throat, its like trying to dislodge nails, I am having such a hard time acting normally. I don't even know why I am doing this to myself. I guess I just want something to hold onto...a new memory of her, so they never fade. It's all I have left. 
I can't tear my eyes from her in this moment, I just want to imprint every detail of her to my mind. She's the light that is missing in my dark life.
‘I’m good, just getting on, and you know?... School.’ She answers warily, holding in everything of her that tells me what she's thinking. Icing me out. I can almost see her trying to avoid looking at me, all the old tells are there. The ones I spent years helping remove. She's back to guarded, afraid, seeing me as a threat, and it twists the knife harder. 
I really did lose her and fuck it all up. I hate seeing her this withdrawn, quiet and distant. She hasn't been that girl to me for a long time.... It brings back a million memories of just exactly what I have lost. 
I miss you...so much

‘Hi, I’m Christian, Sophie’s told me about you being childhood besties, and I have to say I am an admirer of your fighting skills Arrick. I see you had another knockout victory two weeks back, against Tiger Marse.’ The blonde guy holds his hand out to me, pulling my eyes from her as he leans out to me. Hand waving in front of me expectantly and I really bite down on the urge to break his fingers and ram them up his own ass. I can barely keep my heart rate under control, my breathing as this courses through me.
I see her watching me pensively, and give in, trying not to make her hate me anymore than she does. I take his hand and shake, applying more pressure than I should because I really , really, want to hurt him right now. Every part of my body is tense and poised to take the fucker down and just beat the shit out of him. Take all this pain I am feeling and expel it on someone worthy...the guy who gets her. 
Because he's not me.

‘Thanks. Nice to meet you, Christian.’ I hesitate at what else to say, trying to play cool, be a gentleman, I know it's what she will want; when I just want to pick him up by the throat and warn him about what I will do to him if he ever hurts her. 
The way I did.
I'm distracted by Tom calling on me impatiently and turn to throw him a cold glare. A little 'back the fuck off.' frown, he needs to just leave me alone right now.
I turn back and can't stop myself just looking her over again, like a bee to honey. I can't stop taking in just how good she looks, how in her absence she has grown even more beautiful - I didn't think that was possible. I clench my hands to calm the internal shaking and longing, there is so much I want to say to her. I just want to pull her to me, away from him and just hold onto her with everything in me.
I finally get that saying, 'regret is a killer', because this bites like a mother fucker.
‘You look good Soph’s. You always were more beautiful as a blonde. I like this on you, the sweet girl look…. It’s more you.’ It's out impulsively, this need in me to verbalise just how amazing she looks, standing here, watching me quietly. I don't care if her boyfriend doesn't like it...I'll break his nose if he has a problem with it. I want to tell her she looks beautiful.

‘Thanks. You too. I mean… You look good.’ She looks away shyly, inhales slowly and I can tell she wants me to go, leave her alone. Another stabbing pain, another wound at her hands when she doesn't even mean it. I hope she knows somewhere, deep down, that this isn't what I wanted with us. 
Tom calls me again and I feel like I might lose my shit with him. I don't want to go , I want to stay here and just remember every piece of her...I don't know if I will ever see her again. He has no idea how big a deal this is, to have her finally talk to me, after months of silent hell. How many times i have just tried to will her to call me.
I turn and gesture two minutes, glaring again and see Charlie shove him in the arm, lean in to say something and I hope to god he's threatening him...I sure as hell will be taking this out on his face soon enough.
I look back and see her shuffling uncomfortably, my heart sinks. She wants to go, I should let her. Stop dragging this out, even if I would have her stand here all day. I'm making this awkward for her, making her upset and that's the last thing I want.
‘I need to go Soph’s; Are you going to Leila’s party?’ Still clinging to hope I will see her again. this isn't enough, it will never be enough. I don't want a future where I don't see her. It's not bearable.
‘We sure will be, won’t we sweetheart? Can‘t wait to meet Daniel, and of course, Leila; her parents have told me she is the family fireball.’ The guy squeezes her shoulder, I can't bear it and look away before I physically hurt him. I should go before I do literally punch him out. I never knew it could feel this way.... seeing her with someone. There are no words to describe this agony or the levels of hatred and aggression coursing through me.
‘Guess I’ll see you both there then.’ I catch her eye, simmering my anger expertly, trying so hard to just save that face in my head.
‘Guess you will.’  The quick smile doesn't reach her eyes. She can't look at me , no matter how much I will her too, beg inside to have my moment with her. To find that connection somewhere between us and know it's still there. I want it so badly I can taste it.
It isn't....she has closed the door. I took years getting in...and one stupid second of one bad choice, I lost all of it. I am a severed limb now, she doesn't need me anymore. I doubt there's any love left. That realisation breaks the last ounces inside of me that had hope.
I need to let her go. Even if it kills me to do so.
‘I better go before they start kicking off and eating the tablecloths.’ I turn and motion to Tom that I am coming, I really just need a second to get my head straight, without those tropical blues torturing me softly. Pull myself together.
'I suppose, bye, then.’ Her soft angelic tone draws me back, winds me with just how much this sucks. Saying goodbye...it was never meant to be this way. I was never meant to lose her. She's my perfect girl, my beautiful angelic, sweet, perfect girl.
My face aches with the tingles over taking my body, emotion hitting me hard, clenching my teeth so much I may crack a crown, and I know I won't be able to hold it together for much longer. I will literally rip her out of his arms and wrap myself around her, to keep her close, to never break my hold on her ever again. 
I am so in love with you, Soph's.
He pulls her away, like he controls her and I have to stand my ground and not react. I want to swing a kick at his face for pulling her. No one manhandles her that way. She isn't a possession or a fucking puppy, she is the centre of everything and he shouldn't' be hauling her. I grit my teeth when he smiles and waves at me, cursing inwardly and clenching every muscle. Willing myself to behave. Soph's just looks away and allows him to lead her away. 
I hate this...panic rising inside of me, feet itching to follow her...always follow her, like I should have done that night. I hate that I never, I regret it with every fibre in my body.
I would never make the same mistake again. One chance Sophie...I would grab it with both hands and hold on to you with everything I have.
She throws back a look that catches me in the eye, and the heart, in the same second and it's the last blow. Crushing pain, as the sweetest, most amazing girl I have ever known, ever loved....walks away in the arms of someone who was lucky enough to catch her. I swear he better make her happy, he better treat her like the princess she is, or I will personally fuck him up. She deserves the world, someone who will look after her in every way. Protect her. Cherish her. Understand her, and what she needs.
I watch them leave, unable to tear myself away till long after they leave the restaurant, her face lingering in my head, I can't bear the pain. It draws every ounce of my energy and just saps any chance of a better mood completely out of me. I turn and walk to my table emptily, completely deflated, no longer hungry. Unable to think about anything else anymore and this undying urge to just go back to the training ring and beat seven shades of shit out of Tom.

The Carrero Heart - Beginning - Natasha's POV

Lovers of my books The Carrero Series will love this brand new bonus scene.
Universal book links
Book 1 - myBook.to/TheCarreroEffectBook 2 - myBook.to/CarreroInfluenceBook 3 - myBook.to/CarreroSolutionBook 4 - myBook.to/CarreroHeart1Book 5 - myBook.to/CarreroHeart2Jake's POV - myBook.to/JakesPOVJust Rose - getBook.at/JustRosePlease note - there is swearing and sexual references, this is not suitable for those under 18 years of age.




Read at your own risk!!
Natasha's  POV
I watch Arrick push his food around his plate distractedly, eyes on what he's doing, yet he just looks completely detached from the here and now. We are in a busy restaurant, the food is good, the company not so much; he has barely said two words the whole time we have been here, and he has had about four beers with dinner. Arrick never drinks excessively, normally, but I guess this just sums up our life of the past three weeks.

I am trying so hard to not let it get to me, to keep a smile on my face, a positive outlook that we can get through this bump in the road of our relationship, but he makes it so hard. I try not to watch him too much as I eat my own food, and give up on small talk. His nods and 'hmm' responses make me want to throw my wine glass at him, and I am trying to avoid all forms of nagging or bickering while things between us are a little fragile.

He's been a vacant, distant nightmare, since I caught him with his face glued to that trampy little bitch, he calls his best friend. I'm glad she's gone, she has been nothing but an eternal thorn in my side for two years of our life together, always there, like a third wheel, monopolising his attentions and getting between us; but Arrick being Arrick, you can't say anything about it, criticise their friendship in any way. You can never criticise Sophie, for all that is holy, it is the one topic that makes the dick side of Arrick come out to play.

He doesn't like clingy or jealous girls, abhors them....that is unless it's her; she is both. A jealous and immature, clingy little girl, that I really never thought would ever have a chance of being the whore who entrapped him with sex.

It completely hit me from the left side, last thing I ever expected. She always seemed so much like an annoying bratty sister to him; and the way he was with her, the affections which drove me crazy, the little in jokes and touchy feely between them. I hated it, but I never thought it was something I should worry about . I never thought that he would be capable of cheating on me at all, never with her. He isn't the type, and I guess I can't really blame him for looking for sexual gratification in some slut that was only too willing to give. It's been obvious for a long time that her puppy eyes for him were never innocent.

I don't really like sex, and he does. It's not that he isn't good at it, it's just I don't happen to like it at all, and even though he has given me more than my fair share of orgasms - I just do not hunger for it the way he does. I hate the messiness, the awkwardness, having him face to face and wanting to make out and lay hands on me in really inappropriate places. I always thought that I would get married before I ever had sex with anyone, after all that is how I was raised, but then I had a teen boyfriend who pushed me into it too, and it was just ruined for me, for an eternity. Sex still feels a little bit sinful when we have it, and I am holding out hope that after we get married I will lose the guilt and maybe enjoy it a little bit more.

Arrick used to get a little bit dominant, in the beginning of our relationship, sex was all he seemed to think about, drunk usually, as he seemed to party a lot more back then. I just felt pressured to play along, act like I liked it rougher, harder, constant. I didn't. I would rather read a book, bake a cake, or clean my apartment. Over the years he just seemed to accept that I wasn't really into it, and as long as I gave him sex every so often, in bed, with him on top, then we just never brought it up again. I preferred it that way and I learned how to push it along to make him finish quicker.

I can't say I blame him then, that he wanted to screw her. He clearly misses that part of our relationship, the more adventurous sex, and I will be willing to revisit it when we start to get physical again. Right now, we seem to just be plodding along. It's like he's here, but he's not, and even though I am the one who has the right to be upset and angry, I feel like I am walking on eggshells with him instead. He hasn't attempted to kiss me, let alone have sex, for almost two months. Maybe longer, I lost count when we first hit a rough patch, and I cannot remember the last time he just kissed me, with some meaning.

'Are you done? Can we go?' Arrick snaps my attention up, and I realise he's downed his beer, thrown his fork messily, on top of his left over food, and is already putting his coat on. He hasn't even given me time to finish, or even seems to acknowledge that I have not done eating. I look at him coolly and bite down the irritated urge to frown at him. This is exactly the crappy attitude from him lately that irks me so much. He is the one who should be grovelling to me.

'No, I wasn't' I smile brightly, paste on my happy face, the one which says everything is going to be okay, and try not to let him get to me. I should be used to this side of him, it's predominant most of the time. Closed up, internalised and emotionally blank. It's worse than it ever used to be, but he's always had this way about him. It's one of the things I always liked. That he wasn't overly emotional or needy as a man, didn't paw at me excessively, he didn't burden me with his problems. He just takes care of them.

'I want to go. Stay if you want.' He looks over my head at nothing, then glances down as he lifts his cell and I catch him scanning the screen with that infuriating frown on his face. He does this about a hundred times a day, since he made her leave, and he doesn't know I am aware of it, but I am. It drives me insane. Always checking his god damn cell, obsessively, always looking disappointed when he picks it up. He's so transparent in that moment and it riles a rage in me that's burning hot.

Why can't he just forget about her? Let it go? Why can't he focus on the fact that he should be making me forgive him?

'I'm coming now.' I answer with a tighter tone, then have to scold myself for losing my cool with him. This isn't the way to mend things, by being short with him, by being snappy. He hates that, he is more than likely to just walk off and leave me here, and put me down to being moody. He has very little patience with moods.

I get up to follow, annoyed that for once he doesn't pull my chair out or help me with my coat, he just throws money on the table and turns to leave. I feel my temper flare at this complete lack of manners. He normally has impeccable manners and I look around at other diners, to see if anyone notices how blatantly rude he is being. I sigh with relief at the lack of eyes aimed our way and follow him with my bag and coat at speed, to catch up.

'Where too now?' I press, as I come level with him and crunch my hands into fists when I see him scrolling his cell again, looking at his call list. The knot of anger and upset deep down , moving up my chest, and for the first time I just want to shake him. I can't stand this anymore. I bite my tongue and keep my mouth shout.

'Home for you...I am meeting Nate for a late night training session.'

He doesn't look my way, doesn't even ask if that is okay, or if I even want to go home. Just his decision and I am being palmed off again. He has done this almost every time I see him for the last months. Short time together, where he barley speaks about anything much, and then he drops me off so he can go meet his trainer or his brother, or anyone else that is not me. I am getting beyond fed up with this, and I have barley been in his apartment for weeks. I feel like crying, but I don't. I bottle it up and remind myself that this is just a phase.

A little bump in the road, an adjustment period. Time for him to forget that hussy and what she has done to his head.

Sophie really has done a number on him. I don't get it at all, what he saw in her. She was a high maintenance, spoiled child, who tantrummed and stropped, who always demanded her own way and made life a strain. It's like she weaved a magical spell over him, whenever she was around, and he only ever saw her. Trying to compete with it was futile, the way all his attention would be for her only, the way he changed when she was around; immature, playful, irritating, and lost some of the cool control. I hated all of it. I like that he's responsible, sensible, quiet and respected. I like that people look up to him and he has a name in business, if only he would stop dipping into that awful fighting scene he likes so much and just focus on being more like his brother.

Jake has it sorted out; marriage, children, work. A nice house in the Hampton's. I can see us having all that too.

'I think I may stay with you tonight.' I say bravely as he ushers me out into the cool night air and puts his hand up to hail a cab. He doesn't look my way, so I continue, holding my breath.

'We could maybe try and rekindle some intimacy.' I watch him for a change in his demeanour, but it's like I haven't said a word. He has never turned down sex, not once in the last two years when I offered it.

'I'm not feeling great, I want to just go to training and go home to sleep. I'll call you tomorrow.' He looks at me fleetingly, not really even trying to sound apologetic, and goes back to hailing a cab, it makes me feel like stomping my foot.

Why am I the one who is trying so hard?

'Stop it.' I snap at him, it comes out of nowhere and my voice waivers. I have had enough of this behaviour, this eternal distance and lack of effort on his part. Does he forget what he did? What he's doing to me? I have tried to ignore all of it, to move on, but he's just not trying to meet me halfway.

'Stop what?' He turns and has the nerve to actually look confused, all caught up in his own head and oblivious to my feelings, again, like always. I love him so much at times, and yet sometimes it's like he is just not there with me.

'Stop pushing me away.... You make me feel so unwanted.' I start to cry and try to fight it. Hating that I am making a spectacle of myself in front of him, and grab for a tissue in my handbag. Arrick sighs and drops his hand from trying to hail a cab on the busy sidewalk. He comes to me and pulls me in for a hug, a loose embrace and cradles my head against his chest. Patting me on the back lightly. It's the first real contact we have had in weeks, and it just feels forced.

'I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be an ass hole. I'm just not myself right now, and things at work have been tough lately.' He sounds genuine, but I know it's not entirely true. I heard him on his cell to Jake, and Nathan, many a time in the past couple of weeks. He's zoning out on them as much as he is with me, and everyone seems to be annoyed at his lack of engagement lately. His head isn't with any of us.

I refuse to believe that she has this effect on him. It's just a phase, a little bubble of depression that he will get through. I want to believe it's guilt, for what he has done to us. I won't let her take credit for this zombie state he is existing in. She doesn't deserve this much of him. he's mine and mine alone and he chose me. He's here with me. I won.

I pull back and look up at him, testing the waters, I rise up on tiptoes and kiss him. Lips meet for a second, so familiar, a kiss I used to love so much, but he just tenses, gives me a chaste response and pulls away, his arms dropping around me as he puts distance between us.

'I'll get a cab... I really am tired, Tash.' He dodges eye contact and goes back to hailing a cab for us. Looking relieved when one pulls into the kerb for us. I go to get in, but he pauses me with a hand on my arm as he opens the door.

'You take this...... I need some air, and the walk will do me good. I'll be better. I promise.' He looks at me so regretfully, a hint of guilt shining through and I cannot do anything except nod. I want to believe, trust him again. I want so desperately for this to work. I don't argue, I don't complain, I never do. I lean up and kiss him on the cheek, smooth his jacket down and get into the cab. He shuts the door on me before I get a chance to say anything and we pull away from the sidewalk quickly.

I watch him as we leave him, turning in my seat to look behind me and he has already started to head away from where we parted. He looks so lost in that moment, head down and hands pushed into his pockets. I feel my heart break with the sad sight of him and pray I have enough strength to get us back from this. I don't ever want to lose him.

I love him.