Angela Ackerman's Blog: Writers Helping Writers, page 98

Three Ways Writers Tell, Not Show (And How You Can Fix Them)

One of my favorite writing coaches is here with us to dish some helpful advice on Show and Tell. Please welcome Janice Hardy and read on…

Show, don’t tell, is drilled into every writer’s head, and most of us have been frustrated over it. In my early writing days, I spent months figuring out what it meant—and more importantly—how to find ‘told prose’ in my work.

Since then it’s been easier to show and not tell, and help other writers find their own tells. Today, let’s look at three common ways writers tell and how to edit those areas to show.

Tell #1: Explaining the motives of the characters

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Wanting to know why characters act the way they do is a compelling reason for readers to keep reading, and explaining those motives robs them of the chance to figure it out themselves. It also steals the mystery from the scene and lessens the tension, because when readers know the answer, there’s little worry about.

Many of these motivational tells involve explaining backstory or history, telling readers why a particular character is acting in a certain way. They explain a law of the land, or a past trauma, or a character’s habit. “This character is doing this thing because of this reason.” These tells happen because it’s easier to explain than to slip details into the background that feel natural to the scene.

The most common motivational tell is minor, but it’s my favorite example:

She reached over to pick up the book.

Seems perfectly fine, right? Countless sentences just like this are written every day, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. However, it explains the motive for why the character reached over. She did it to pick up the book. But notice we don’t actually see her pick up the book. There’s no action shown aside from her reaching over.

For these little “to verb” tells, simply changing to to and fixes most of them.

She reached over and picked up the book.

Now it’s shown. This one-word edit will fix many tells, but for some you’ll need to rewrite a bit. For example:

Lila knew she had to watch John carefully because he’d stolen her project notes last month and taken all the credit for her idea.

To fix, think about how someone with that motive would act or think, and show that instead.

John walked into her office. “Got a minute?”

Lila frowned and hid her notes with a folder. Not this time, buster. “What do you want?”

Readers don’t yet know why Lila is hiding her notes, but it’s clear she has an issue with John, and will keep reading to see why.

Some red flag words to search for if you think you have some motivational tells in your writing: “to verb” phrases, because, and knew.

Tell #2: Explaining the emotions behind the actions

Being told someone “felt something” is different from seeing the outward signs of that emotion. These tells slip in because it’s often easier to say “She was heartbroken” than to dive deep into the emotions of the character. For example:

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Shayla felt the pain of the betrayal deep in her chest. She sobbed in misery.

Do we see the misery? The heartbreak? No. We’re told she feels it and why she’s crying. But when we think about how someone who is heartbroken might act and think, we get:

It was over. Truly over. Shayla sank to the ground and sobbed.

You can choose to show as much or as little emotion as needed for the scene, but beware—trying to show too much risks writing a melodramatic breakdown. Such as:

It was over. Truly over. How could he just leave her like this? Shayla gasped, holding back the tears blurring her vision. Her chest tightened. This wasn’t happening to her, not to her. She sank to the floor, wrapped her shaking arms around her knees, and sobbed.

Plenty of emotion there, but perhaps a bit too over the top. Remember—a little goes a long way.

Some red flag words to search for if you think you have some emotional tells in your writing: “in emotion” or “with emotion” phrases, and felt.

Tell #3: Explaining the subtext in the behaviors

Subtext is a powerful tool that builds tension and piques reader curiosity because nothing is spelled out. Readers get to decide what the truth is by observing the characters, but when everything is explained, the scene loses that mystery. For example:

Bob wanted to ask Jane to run away with him, and if she said yes, they could leave before Sally got back. “It’s not that far to Aberdeen if you wanted to go. Couple days walk, maybe.”

Jane shrugged, not wanting to look too eager. “That road is crawling with zombies. We’d never make it.”

“Not the skybridge.”

Maybe, but just the two of them alone? How would they survive without his survival-savvy wife? “I don’t know if it’s worth the risk.”

There’s little left to wonder about here. Jane shows some interest, but only with the explanations. But take out the explanations…

Bob brushed the dead leaves off the hood of the car. If she agreed, they could leave before Sally returned. “It’s not that far to Aberdeen. Couple days walk, maybe.”

Jane smiled, just a little, then shrugged. “That road is crawling with zombies, though.”

“Not the skybridge. We could make it.”

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She stared wistfully down the road, and he thought she might say what a great idea it was. “Bad place to get stuck if we’re wrong. Will Sally be back soon?”

“She said not to wait up.”

A lousy joke, but Jane giggled. His heart leapt, but she glanced away, face flushed. She scanned the treeline again. “It’s just too dangerous. We’re not the killing machines she is, remember?”

We can guess Jane has some affection for Bob, but it’s easy to see how Bob (and readers) could be unsure about her feelings. It’s also uncertain what she means by dangerous—the zombies, Sally, or being on their own.

No red flag words for subtext tells, but check the internalization and see if you’re giving away what the dialogue and actions and trying to convey. Would the scene be more interesting if less was said?

[image error]Show, don’t tell can make a writer want to scream, but once you realize what told prose looks like, it’s easy to rewrite it to show. And after you train yourself to spot it, you start avoid it naturally.

If you’d like more examples and a deeper discussion of show, don’t tell, I suggest my book Understanding Show, Don’t Tell (And Really Getting It).

Have you struggled with show, don’t tell? How did you figure it out?

[image error]Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series under the name, J.T. Hardy.

When she’s not writing fiction, she runs the popular writing site Fiction University, and has written multiple books on writing, including Plotting Your Novel: Ideas and Structure, and the Revising Your Novel: First Draft to Finished Draft series.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iTunes | Indie Bound

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Does Every Lead Character Need An Arc?

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At a Bouchercon some years ago, Lee Child was part of a panel on characters in thrillers. An audience member asked him a question about character change. “Every character has to have an arc, right?”

“Why?” Child said. “There doesn’t have to be character change. We don’t need no stinkin’ arcs.”

Everybody in the room cracked up. Child went on to explain that he loves Dom Perignon champagne, and he wants it to taste the same each time. And so, too, he wants his Jack Reacher books to offer the same pleasurable experience every time out. Reacher doesn’t change. Reacher does his thing. It’s how he does it that provides the pleasure.

Later on, Michael Connelly was interviewed in a packed room. He talked about his decision at the beginning of the series to have Harry Bosch age chronologically. In each book Bosch is about a year older. And he has varying degrees of inner development. Talk about your arcs! The series is still going strong and it’s a wonder to behold.

So there you have it, a tale of two writers and two approaches, both of which work. They provide different experiences and readers can choose which they like best—or go with both, for variety.

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When I teach about character work, I do say that a lead character does not have to change in a fundamental way.  For example, in the film The Fugitive, Dr. Richard Kimble does not become a new man. He does not have to discover his “true self.” What he has to do is grow stronger as he meets extraordinary challenges.

Similarly, Marge Gunderson in Fargo does not change, but shows her inner strength by solving a horrific crime, far beyond what she’s had to deal with before.

So in this kind of thriller, the character is already who he or she needs to be, but gets tested and finds new strength to endure.

A nice wrinkle to this type of story is when the Lead’s strength inspires another character to change. That’s what happens in The Fugitive. Kimble’s relentless search for the killer of his wife turns Sam Gerard from a lawman who “doesn’t care” about the facts of a case, to caring very much indeed.

In Casablanca, you have both kinds of change. Not only does Rick Blaine change radically, from a man who wants to be left alone to one who joins the war effort, but so does the little French captain, Louis.  Rick’s act of self sacrifice at the end inspires Louis to leave Casablanca with Rick, and also fight the Nazis. It is, of course, the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

One of the most important questions you can ask at the beginning of your novel is whether the main character will undergo fundamental change or not. If not, then the story is about the character growing stronger.

[image error]Keep in mind, of course, that in some novels the character resists fundamental change and ends up worse off at the end. Or has a negative arc, from good to bad, as in The Godfather. The various ending “shapes” I discuss in my book The Last Fifty Pages: The Art and Craft of Unforgettable Endings.

Because unforgettable is what we want our books to be. Knowing the variations on character arc is an essential part of the process.

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Jim is the author of the #1 bestseller for writers, Plot & Structure, and numerous thrillers, including, Romeo’s Rules, Try Dying and Don’t Leave Me. His popular books on fiction craft can be found here. His thrillers have been called “heart-whamming” (Publishers Weekly) and can be browsed here. Find out more about Jim on our Resident Writing Coach page, and connect with him online.

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Occupation Thesaurus Entry: Mail Carrier

Jobs are as important for our characters as they are for real people. A character’s career might be their dream job or one they’ve chosen due to necessity. In your story, they might be trying to get that job or are already working in the field. Whatever the situation, as with any defining aspect for your character, you’ll need to do the proper research to be able to write that career knowledgeably.

Enter the Occupation Thesaurus. Here, you’ll find important background information on a variety of career options for your character. In addition to the basics, we’ll also be covering related info that relates to character arc and story planning, such as sources of conflict (internal and external) and how the job might impact basic human needs, thereby affecting the character’s goals. It’s our hope that this thesaurus will share some of your research burden while also giving you ideas about your character’s occupation that you might not have considered before.

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Occupation: Mail Carrier

Overview: Mail carriers transport mail (letters, circulars, small packages, bills, etc.) from a distribution center to homes and businesses. While most of them use vehicles, urban mail carriers often walk their routes.

Necessary Training: Mail carriers need a high school diploma or equivalent and must pass a written exam. They also must have a driver license, have a good driving record, and be able to pass a criminal background check.

Useful Skills, Talents, or Abilities: A knack for languages, exceptional memory, predicting the weather, swift-footedness

Helpful Character Traits:

POSITIVE: Alert, courteous, disciplined, discreet, efficient, focused, honest, independent, introverted, meticulous, organized, patient, professional, responsible

Sources of Friction: One’s truck breaking down, being threatened while delivering mail in a dangerous part of town, customers not receiving their mail (because it was stolen or was delivered to the wrong address), customers issuing complaints about one’s service, working in miserable weather, hand-delivering mail to someone one suspects of being unhinged, labor strikes, feeling pressured to join a union, being injured on the job (slipping on ice and falling, being bitten by a dog, etc.), suffering an injury that makes it difficult to do the job, working long hours (especially in the beginning of one’s career), mistakes at the distribution center that result in mail being delivered to the wrong address, increased business over the holidays and not enough employees to handle it, having to train a new employee who is incompetent or annoying, craving interactions with others but mostly working alone, dealing with negative customers, unfeeling or insensitivity supervisors, problems at the distribution center that make one late for one’s route, handling a suspicious package

People They Might Interact With: Other mail carriers, a manager or supervisor, other postal service employees, union representatives, customers, drivers and pedestrians along the route

How This Occupation Might Impact One’s Basic Needs:

Self-Actualization: There’s only so much possibility for advancement in this position; someone who is looking for upward mobility within their career may soon feel like they’re stuck and aren’t able to realize their full potential.
Esteem and Recognition: Many people view college degrees and the careers that come with them as being more important, valuable, or desirable than ones where a degree isn’t required. If a mail carrier has dealings with these people, he/she could quickly begin to feel badly about themselves or their job.
Love and Belonging: In the beginning, the hours are long; this can take a toll on personal relationships. And in many cases, a carrier is isolated, spending the majority of their day alone. This decreases the opportunities to meet and get to know people one might enter into relationship with.
Safety and Security: In certain situations, delivering the mail can be dangerous. This will depend on the neighborhood one works in, the kinds and heaviness of traffic one encounters, and the dangers inherent when one must exit their vehicle and knock on people’s doors.

Common Work-Related Settings: Alley, big city street, break room, country road, public restroom, small town street

Twisting the Fictional Stereotype:  Mail carriers tend to be background characters: quiet, introverted, and invisible. But characters in this occupation can be anything you want them to be. Just look at Newman, from Seinfeld. Give your mail carrier an unusual trait or two to bring them to life.

Visit the other Occupations in our collection HERE.

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Writing Backstory Through Dialogue

Backstory is one of the trickier elements of writing. We have to take our readers back in time to let them know some of the past, but how do we do it without interrupting the flow of the story? Jerry Jenkins is here today to discuss one of the more organic methods for including character backstory without grinding the action to a halt.

[image error]What are we to do now that the flashback has fallen into disfavor with today’s readers? Apparently they no longer have the patience for a sudden stop in the story so we can show how our character got where she is today.

Used to be you could invent something to remind her of her childhood or her relationship with her father or the first time she fell in love. Then you’d have her daydream or zone out and remember everything about some poignant incident from years past.

Well, I agree that got to be a clichè—always followed by someone somehow jarring her back to the present.

Regardless, we’re writing for people who get most of their information from screens, so what do we do?

Tell Your Story in Order

Gone is the luxury of taking the character (and the reader) back and rendering the old incident the way it happened. Readers want to read chronologically, and they don’t like the story put on hold to accommodate a flashback.

But we can’t ignore the past without throwing character motivation out with the bathwater. Our characters are who they are and do what they do because of who they once were and what happened to them then.

So what’s the solution?

Good news! You can include your character’s backstory without interrupting the flow of your story.

Backstory is the new solution, and I have to admit it’s better. It doesn’t slow the story, doesn’t force us to artificially create for our heroes a block of time during which they relive some powerful past experience.

What is Backstory?

Don’t mistake it for an abbreviated form of flashback. In its simplest form, backstory is everything that’s happened to your character before your novel opens. In essence you’re writing backstory when you identify a middle-aged man as “General so-and-so,” or a young woman as “Dr. so-and-so.”

Such people weren’t born with those titles and the roles they imply, so immediately readers realize these characters have pasts—and they can even imagine what they were like.

Does your character have a scar? That implies backstory. A limp? It will emerge whether it was congenital or the result of an injury or disease, but regardless, that’s backstory.

How to Write Backstory Through Dialogue

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Flashbacks are obvious. They scream, “We’re headed into the past!” But backstory sneaks up on you. Use it over a flashback to avoid breaking the flow of your story. I’ve found the best way to manage this is through dialogue.

Backstory example (at an amusement park):

“You’re not getting me on that ride, Madison,” Suzie said, “Don’t even—”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Still having those dreams?”

Suzie looked away. “Not so much anymore, but once in a while.”

“You’d think after all these years…”

“I’d still rather not talk about it, okay?”

“Sure, sorry.”

See all we’ve learned from that otherwise innocuous exchange? Something years ago still causes nightmares. Naturally, we’ll eventually have to pay off on that set-up, and that’s what keeps readers turning pages.

Whatever the trauma was, you can hint at it like this more and more throughout the story, revealing more each time. Eventually something or someone from her past will show up and force the issue—and the whole story will come out.

But you see the difference? It’ll be onstage now, be recounted and explained now. Sure, it happened years ago, but it emerges as part of the current story. That’s subtly using backstory without resorting to flashback.

One More…

One of the best uses of backstory I’ve seen is from the 2016 movie The Magnificent Seven.

Denzel Washington stars as Sam Chisolm, a bounty hunter and leader of the titular seven. Ethan Hawke plays Goodnight Robicheaux, a sharpshooter.

They’re strategizing to protect a town and avenge a woman who saw her husband shot to death. Robicheaux nods toward the woman and says to Chisolm, “She’d be about the same age as your sister, wouldn’t she?”

“Uh-huh.”

Robicheaux says, “Just want to make sure we’re fighting the battle in front of us instead of the battle behind us.”

That’s it. That’s the backstory. We don’t know what it means, but we know we’re going to find out. They’re not going to set up something like that and not tell us what happened. We’re going to find that our hero, Sam Chisolm, was once a victim.

Is he really out to protect somebody out of a sense of honor, or is he out for personal revenge? That’s the perfect example.

Tell me in the comments below how you’ll use backstory in your work in progress. And feel free to share a favorite example of backstory you’ve heard or read.

[image error] Jerry B. Jenkins is a 21-Time New York Times bestselling novelist (including The Left Behind series) and biographer (Hank Aaron, Walter Payton, Billy Graham, and many others) with sales of over 70 million copies. He shares his little-known writing secrets with aspiring authors at JerryJenkins.com through in-depth guides (like this one on how to publish a book).

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Critiques 4 U!

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Holy moly, you guys. Between the launch of the second edition of The Emotion Thesaurus last week and One Stop’s Character Builder going live the week before, things have been JUST a tad crazy. I’ve been running at full throttle since the start of the year, but I finally feel like I’ve got a little breathing room. So let’s do some critiques.

CRITIQUES 4 U!

If you’re working on a first page (in any genre except erotica) and would like some objective feedback, please leave a comment. Any comment :). As long as the email address associated with your WordPress account/comment profile is up-to-date, I’ll be able to contact you if your first page is chosen. Just please know that if I’m unable to get in touch with you through that address, you’ll have to forfeit your win.

Two caveats:

    Please be sure your first page is ready to go so I can critique it before next month’s contest rolls around. If it needs some work and you won’t be able to get it to me right away, let me ask that you plan on entering the next contest, once any necessary tweaking has been taken care of.

    I’d like to be able to use portions of winning submissions as illustrations in an upcoming presentation I’m creating on first pages. By entering the Critiques 4 U contest, you’ll be granting permission for me to use small writing samples only (no author names or book titles).

Three commenters’ names will be randomly drawn and posted tomorrow. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback. Best of luck!

Time Is Running Out…

We have two special items to remind you about that expire at the end of the month, and we don’t want you to miss out on.

1) A free webinar on Using Emotion to Wow Readers–this recording is a gift from us to you, so watch it before month’s end by clicking the link!

[image error]2) A 75% off discount for your first month at One Stop for Writers. Yes, you read that right…75% off. As mentioned above, we’ve just launched the hyper-intelligent Character Builder, which is unlike anything you’ve ever seen, and we want people to check it out. Click the link to find out more about this tool and if you need them, instructions on how to apply this coupon code: CHARACTER at One Stop for Writers. Cancel any time.

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Occupation Thesaurus Entry: Home Health Aide

Jobs are as important for our characters as they are for real people. A character’s career might be their dream job or one they’ve chosen due to necessity. In your story, they might be trying to get that job or are already working in the field. Whatever the situation, as with any defining aspect for your character, you’ll need to do the proper research to be able to write that career knowledgeably.

Enter the Occupation Thesaurus. Here, you’ll find important background information on a variety of career options for your character. In addition to the basics, we’ll also be covering related info that relates to character arc and story planning, such as sources of conflict (internal and external) and how the job might impact basic human needs, thereby affecting the character’s goals. It’s our hope that this thesaurus will share some of your research burden while also giving you ideas about your character’s occupation that you might not have considered before.

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Occupation: Home Health Aide

Overview: A home health aide helps clients who are ill, injured, or are unable to care for themselves. Some are live-in caregivers, working round the clock, while others provide care for the client during certain hours; the schedule is often determined by what the client is able to pay and which services their insurance company covers. Working under the supervision of a medical professional (typically a nurse), an aide may provide a number of services for the client:

Helping with personal hygiene (bathing, grooming, etc.)
Taking care of domestic duties, such as cleaning, doing laundry, shopping for groceries, or preparing healthy meals
Transporting the client to and from medical appointments
Accompanying them on social outings
Scheduling appointments
Making sure the client gets adequate exercise
Helping with medical tasks (monitoring medication intake, changing bandages, etc.)

The aide will also be required to keep careful notes of their services and often may work in cooperation with other professionals servicing the client. They may work independently or be part of an agency, with their hours being scheduled by an administrative employee.

Necessary Training: Training varies, depending on the aide’s location. Those working with an agency usually need a high school degree and are often required to acquire certain certifications. Training can be accomplished on the job or through vocational schools and community colleges. Background checks are usually required for people in this position.

Useful Skills, Talents, or Abilities: Basic first aid, empathy, exceptional memory, gaining the trust of others, good listening skills, hospitality, reading people, super strength

Helpful Character Traits:

POSITIVE: Adaptable, affectionate, alert, calm, cooperative, courteous, discreet, efficient, empathetic, friendly, gentle, honorable, hospitable, humble, kind, nurturing, organized, protective, responsible, sensible, supportive, unselfish

Sources of Friction: Uncooperative clients, clients who expect more help than one is supposed to provide, clients who need more help but can’t afford to pay for it, conflict with insurance companies, demanding or unreasonable family members, absentee loved ones, always being given the “difficult” clients or tasks, being injured on the job and not being able to work, working long or difficult hours, sharing duties with other professionals and realizing that the client is not receiving adequate care, seeing signs that a client is being abused or neglected, working in a home that is unsanitary or unsafe, being accused of unethical behavior by the client or their family members, having to service a client in an unsafe neighborhood

People They Might Interact With: Clients, the client’s family members, the client’s roommates, doctors, nurses, physical therapists, insurance personnel, other aides, administrative personnel (if the aide works out of an agency)

How This Occupation Might Impact One’s Basic Needs:

Self-Actualization: An aide who dreams of doing more with her career (like progressing to become a nurse) but is unable to do so may start to feel stifled and limited.
Esteem and Recognition: As support staff, aides may be treated as second-class citizens by some people. They can easily be overlooked, underestimated, or taken advantage of by certain kinds of people.
Love and Belonging: A home health care aide may choose this career as a way of connecting with many clients on a surface level. It could become a way to scratch the belonging itch without having to commit long-term or get really involved in someone’s life.
Safety and Security: Injuries are higher in this field than many others. Aides are injured while picking up clients or bodily moving them from one spot to another. They also can easily contrast sicknesses if proper precautions aren’t taken.

Common Work-Related Settings: Backyard, big city street, casual dining restaurant, grocery store, kitchen, living room, park, parking lot, residential bathroom, run-down apartment, small town street, trailer park, waiting room

Twisting the Fictional Stereotype: 

Home health aides are more often female, but men take up this occupation, too. For this career choice, consider a burly ex-biker or professional athlete with a nurturing disposition.
While we often see aides servicing lower-income clientele, everyone needs help from time to time. What about a home health care agency that services the wealthy? Or an aide who specializes in working with large families or those with mental disabilities?

Visit the other Occupations in our collection HERE.

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HELP! What Do I Do With My 1st Edition of The Emotion Thesaurus?

[image error]As the expanded 2nd edition of The Emotion Thesaurus hits the shelves, we realize we’ve created a conundrum for writers upgrading their copy: what should they do with their first edition?

We love the original Emotion Thesaurus and know you do too. It (hopefully!) helped you through a lot of manuscripts, providing brainstorming nudges whenever you needed them. Some of you may have had yours for years, and it’s been well-loved.

[image error]I know my copy–the original proof copy–is like an old friend.

Some of you will choose to keep working with the first edition, and that’s awesome. We hope it will continue to provide you with exactly what you need.

But if you are updating to the bigger & better edition (THANK YOU!) and need ideas on what to do with the first edition, read on. 

Donate it to a library!

Print books can be expensive and if it means buying a book or eating, people will make the right choice. Libraries give everyone a way to obtain knowledge regardless of finances.

Gift it to a writer friend!

Chances are, you know someone on the writing path who struggles with showing emotions. Gift them your copy so that they can be helped by the book as it helped you. (Leave a note of encouragement for them inside the cover, too!)

Offer it as a giveaway to your writing followers!

I bet you have writers that follow you online, who visit your blog, get your newsletter, or who are part of your in-person network. Create a giveaway and let someone else discover this tool. Even if your book is bent, written in, stained, or highlighted, it is a lighthouse of perseverance and passion. Another writer can draw inspiration from your determination.

Gift your book to a school!

We know many teachers and librarians trying to support young writers. They run writing groups, sponsor NaNoWriMo events, and try to provide resources so youth of all ages can grow their craft. Your book can help the next generation of writers!

Pay-it-forward when NaNoWriMo rolls around!

If you participate in NaNoWriMo write-ins, gatherings, and other events, why not save your old Emotion Thesaurus until November and then bring it to a write-in? Likely someone there will need brainstorming help, and you’ll be the hero of the day for having a handy tool to pass on. If there’s a word sprint, award the copy to whomever came in last. After all, it’s not about having the most words–it’s about having the courage to try!

[image error]Play the Emotion Thesaurus Drinking Game!

On your next after-hours gathering at a conference or alcohol-friendly writing event, bring your old Emotion Thesaurus along for the ride. Choose a random page number and have everyone playing look up that page in their manuscript. If anyone has NAMED an emotion, BOOM, they take a drink (or buy the next round–your game, your rules).

Keep it!

I know, keeping two editions will cause a few to clutch at their KonMari pearls, but here’s the thing: if you’ve had the ET for awhile, it’s SEEN SOME THINGS. The binge-snacking, poor back posture, and F-bombs that punctuate your editing streaks. How you stayed up late, got up early, and wrote during all those in-between times. It’s been there for the lows but also the highs, like your giddy cackling at coming up with the perfect plot twist or that time you sank back in your chair after re-reading a passage that you LOVED. Maybe it was there when the walls couldn’t contain your squeals after a submission request landed in your inbox.

My point is, if this book feels like a symbol of your journey as a writer, keep it. Put it on the shelf or in a drawer, and when you need to remind yourself of how how far you’ve come, pull it out. If you get discouraged, remember all the times you put it to use, and the words you wrote. YOU. Look at the book and see your own courage: you have a dream and you’re chasing it down like a rock star.

New Release: The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression (2nd Edition)!

[image error]Today’s the day: The Emotion Thesaurus (Second Edition) enters the world!

Over the years, many of you have written to us about the impact our book has had on your writing. Whenever we hear that your editor is commenting on your improved ability to get emotion on the page or that your readers are saying your newest novel is un-put-down-able, Becca and I cheer! We love helping writers, and your success is our success.

This is why we knew we needed to create a second edition: to do right by each of you and make it even better.

The new edition has…

55 new emotions, such as Euphoria, Vindicated, and Schadenfreude.
More descriptive options within each entry
A list of power verbs for each emotion
55 more writing tips (a big hit in the first volume!)
Double the teaching content, including sections on showing emotion in dialogue, using subtext to reveal hidden emotion, and recommended character research to write authentic emotional reactions
And more. The book is almost double in size, after all!

[image error]We hope by tackling a larger range of feelings you will have the tools you need to go deeper, sharing more emotional moments with readers.

If you would like unbiased feedback as to whether you should upgrade your edition, we recommend this 1st vs. 2nd edition book comparison by Jami Gold.

GIVEAWAY ALERT!

Every new book is a chance to celebrate you, our loyal readers. This time, instead of many small prizes, we’re giving away one BIG one: we will pay for a writing conference, retreat, 1-year professional membership, course or workshop (online or in-person) for one winner (up to a value of $500 US).

[image error]So, if you would love to attend a writer’s conference but can’t swing the finances, want to take that incredible writing craft workshop but can’t justify the cost, would love to belong to a professional organization, or you’d even like to try a writing retreat but, you know, have zero money to do so…this is the prize for you!

Note: this is not a cash prize. We will work with the event organizers directly to pay this fee on the winner’s behalf. Also, because this is a writer-chosen prize, certain conditions must be met.

Enter below, and good luck! This giveaway closes February 26th, 12 am EST. Legal rules and conditions apply. Open internationally. (Yes, internationally!)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The post New Release: The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression (2nd Edition)! appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

Introducing One Stop for Writers’ Character Builder

Life is crazy sometimes. Here it is, less than a week away from us launching a book people are very, very excited about, and we’re about to share something else that is, in our humble opinion, even bigger and better: One Stop for Writers’ new tool, the Character Builder.

[image error]Becca, Lee, Abhishek, and I have been working on the Character Builder for almost a year and a half. It’s been a massive undertaking, the only tool of its kind, and one that we hope will utterly transform how you build characters.

Many of you use our description thesauruses, not only those in book form but all the additional ones we have at One Stop. Along with our unique Idea Generator, they have helped you brainstorm your story’s cast time and again.

The hyper-intelligent Character Builder is integrated with our description database, generators, and behavioral lists. This means as you work on your character, the tool will prompt you with specific options and choices that will be the best fit for them, helping you to build your seedling ideas into a full-blooded, three-dimensional character.

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For example, let’s say you know your character’s unresolved emotional wound, chosen from our database. The Character Builder will show you what sort of personality traits, fears, misbeliefs, behaviors, and dysfunctional emotional shielding might result in your character, based on this exact wound. It will also show you how to uncover your character’s Fatal Flaw that, in this case, is the one thing they must overcome if they are to achieve their goal.

If you can’t find a database wound that fits, you can add your own (and the tool will still offer up helpful ideas on what to brainstorm!)

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Or maybe you know your character’s goal (outer motivation). The Character Builder will help you distill exactly what this will look like for your character, offer ideas on what skills and talents would be beneficial to help them achieve it, and what the stakes could be. It will then lead you through the process of uncovering your character’s inner motivation: the WHY behind the goal they are pursuing.

There are dozens of places to start when it comes to building a character, and these are only two. You can choose what area to plan first, whether to use our suggestions or add your own ideas, and plan as much or as little as you like!

The most incredible aspect of this tool?

Once you’re finished planning, the Character Builder will create a blueprint of the character’s arc based on the information you gathered.

Yes, read that again:

You’ll have a map of the character’s inner journey, in hand, as you write.

This Character Arc Blueprint also allows you to switch between arc types, so you can see what the story looks like if the character is on a Change arc, Static, or Failed. It works for all characters: protagonists, antagonists, villains, antiheroes, love interests…even minor characters. If they have an arc in the story, you can decide if it leads to failure or success.

[image error](Did I mention you can export a PDF of your character to you favorite writing program, like Scrivener?)

Okay, I’ve babbled enough. It’s time for you to see a tiny slice of what this tool will do. Join Becca as she takes you on a tour of the new Character Builder:

Want to test drive this incredible tool? Here’s a 75% discount to get you started.

We’re ridiculously giddy over the release of the Character Builder and want everyone to try it. So, we’re offering a massive sale: until the end of February, you can get 75% off our 1-month plan. Just use this code at One Stop for Writers:

CHARACTER

[image error]To redeem:

Register and then click on the confirmation link that we’ll email to you. (If you’ve previously registered, just sign in.)
Go to My Subscription (under the ACCOUNT tab)
Enter the code: CHARACTER (no spaces) into the coupon code box and activate it, following the prompts
Attach a credit card
Select the 1-month plan

The 75% discount will be applied to your first invoice only. Cancel any time. Our pricing plans are here. 

Know someone who might like the Character Builder? Please share this post. And we’ll see you at One Stop.

Look Forward, Not Backward, to Pull the Reader In

[image error]A lot of writers have the tendency to look “backward” when writing. They might use a lot of flashbacks, they might have a character think “back” on things, or they may simply refer to events that happened in the past. Sometimes they may even backtrack and reiterate what has already played out on the page, or repeat information the audience already knows.

As writers, we love looking backward. Part of this is because from our perspective, when we understand a character’s past, we understand the character better, or alternatively, when we understand what events led to the current point of the story, we better understand the story. From a writer’s perspective, we may even feel more powerful emotions by linking back to the past regularly.

Looking “backward” in a story isn’t necessarily wrong. It has an important role in storytelling. Maybe we do need that flashback, for example. Looking back once in a while also adds authenticity–after all, we all look back from time to time in our personal lives, and a story should be bigger than what’s on the page. Your characters should have an existence, a history, before the first chapter.

[image error]However, unlike the writer, most of the time, for the reader, looking backward is not nearly as interesting or as effective as looking forward.

Often as writers, we think, if the audience can just see the significance of the past, they’ll be drawn into the story. In reality, looking forward does this innately and more powerfully.

The past has already happened. It can’t be changed. Which is why you will hear many writers speak out against flashbacks.

But the future–that hasn’t happened yet. It can change. So when we look forward to it, the audience automatically gets drawn into and invested into the story.

This creates anticipation and tension. Two elements (that to some extent overlap) that will get the audience to turn page after page.

This is essentially why hooks are so important. Most of the time, hooks get the audience to look forward to, or in other words, anticipate something. 

Thankfully, looking “forward” in a story is actually easier than looking backward (remember how I said it’s innately equipped to draw in the audience?). One way to do it is by simply having a line where the viewpoint character thinks about what could happen. It might be something as direct as this:

I was afraid that if I told him the truth tomorrow, he wouldn’t like me.

[image error]See how that automatically has us anticipating that something bad might happen? Now we need to turn the page!

Other times the line might be more indirect, building off the context of the story, but whatever the case, the viewpoint character is anticipating what might happen, so we are too.

An alternative approach is to give a summary line about what does happen, which begs for more information. For example:

To her dread, their alliance only made things worse.

Wait, what? This alliance we just read about makes the situation worse? Now as a reader, I’m looking forward to learning how and why–to getting more information–and I’m wondering, what will the consequences be if things are worse?

In my mind, there are two main, important categories that really draw the audience in:

1- We get the audience to dread (or fear) something might happen.

2- We get the audience to hope something might happen.

Both categories are very effective. One is negative and one is positive. But both cause the audience to look forward and therefore anticipate and therefore read more. Readers may worry something bad is going to happen to the character or story. Or they may pray something good will happen.

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In the writing world, we indirectly talk about the first category a lot. It can bring in a lot of tension. Think about it. This is where all the advice about “risks” and “stakes” comes in. What does the character or world have to lose? In a good horror story, we are drawn in by the fear that a character might die, or worse.

We don’t talk as much about the second option, which can still be very effective. Hope is a powerful thing. This is where all the advice about giving your character a goal or something he cares about comes in. It works because it gets us to hope for an outcome. In a good romance, we hope that the characters fall in love, or better.

And sometimes, you may be appealing to both of these simultaneously.

In most stories, category one is probably most effective, but don’t ignore category two, which is often underestimated.

Utilizing both regularly in your storytelling will get the audience to turn page after page. That’s really how page-turners work–by getting the audience to look forward.

So next time you feel tempted to look backward in your story to try to make it more effective, stop and consider if what you really need is to look forward.

[image error]Sometimes September scares people with her enthusiasm for writing and reading. She works as an assistant to a New York Times bestselling author while penning her own stories, holds an English degree, and had the pleasure of writing her thesis on Harry Potter. Find out more about September here, hang with her on social media, or visit her website to follow her writing journey and get more writing tips.

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The post Look Forward, Not Backward, to Pull the Reader In appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.