Andrew McEwan's Blog: Words Are the Gravy On the Mashed Potato of Life - Posts Tagged "quiet"

Last night, whilst suffering terrible indigestion, I stood in the garden of my mother's bungalow and stared at the stars. Staring at the stars used to be something I did fairly often; usually supine, after a drinking session. The view wasn't that great. It was a little cloudy and the street lights bled a sickly orange, but the stars were exactly the same. Quiet, blinking, huge and far away. I would have had a profound moment of reflection, but I got over that years ago. They were just stars. Suns about which planets turned. Planets on which life struggled, pausing now and then to wonder why. And then I went back inside.

These blogs are random specks of light largely meaningless against a night sky. They're also meant to be funny, in a tongue-and-cheek kick myself in the balls kinda way. Sometimes that may get lost, that healthy indifference to universal helplessness. But whatever anger I vent comes with a purpose. It is fuel.

I'm still on the sick. Not back to work till November. Hurrah! Of course, I'm using this time productively, writing and creating and doing all sorts of amzing things. If only. I haven't written more than a few hundred words in months. My latest novel, THUMP vol. 2 lies abandoned. It was getting lost in its own maelstrom anyway. Plus I'm still waiting for a first review of THUMP 1, which literary slight, whilst not necessarily unexpected, has thrust me into a dark bottomless pit of desp... Kidding. I'm fine. Cancer has cured me of depression. Fact.

You people really need to lighten up, as BoJack Horseman might have said.

To wit, another five weeks of 'getting better'.

I bought a Playstation. This is what footballers do when they're rucuperating from injury. They pretend they're still in the game. Work on their virtual skills in the belief it will improve their general all-round superness. They may be right. I don't know. I'm struggling to get to grips with Gran Turismo, beginniner's level, in which I mostly crash. The best I've managed so far is to finish fifth. I achieved this after learning I could use my credits to buy better tyres. Who knew? The unreal world is just full of surprises. I may disappear into my TV and never be seen again. Yes, exactly like a normal person.

The real world is a terrible place. But this is why we have love and alcohol. If you're going to moan about it, at least try and be funny - even if your humour is misunderstood. Better yet, escape into an alternative universe. Yes, read a fucking book. One of mine perhaps. They're not all bad. Bit of a challenge maybe. Alternatively, stick with the status quo, go quietly into the night and never look up, never dream, never shout when no-one's around to hear; and most importantly, always, always comply.