Andrew McEwan's Blog: Words Are the Gravy On the Mashed Potato of Life - Posts Tagged "ocellus"

The more observant amongst you may realise that I deleted a previous post entited These Things. This was written under the influence of too much vino and having edited it twice on account of typos I finally acknowledged the fact it was twaddle. Given an author's mighty ego the writing of twaddle, sober or drunk, is a hard thing to admit to. Alas, it is too often the case and as such deserves only the attention of the delete button. Phew! Erased. If only life were as simple. Mistakes? What mistakes? Show me these mistakes? No? But there are bodies buried everywhere...

Before I go off on another rudderless methaphor, however, I will pause to sip my tea and eat my toast. There. That's better.

It's two days after Christmas and I have new socks. More importantly I've started Ocellus part two. Part one is at large on authonomy.com and with part two (working title) I hope to fill in a lot of the gaps. That I'll probably just create a whole blamange of new gaps is a given, but then I'm fond of things that wobble.

For those of us with a thirst at least. For those of you whose tongues are permanently slaked by what I would describe as the sweat of excessive onanism, attend another bar.

Ooh, cryptic.

I'm only using words.

The purpose of this post is to promote an upload to authonomy.com in the shape of Door Handles and Light Fittings (working title); what I'm describing as 'an Ocellus companion'. Essentially it's a volume designed to exploit and extrapolate upon all those plot threads and characters present in Ocellus but without the attendant history and peculiar structure of the parent novel. Go look: http://www.authonomy.com/books/41133/...

Blimey, has it been a month? I must have had an ear infection as I missed the clamour. The full version of this blog's title should read:...With Supermodels. But one hates to boast. The penguins say hi.

Since my last sortie into self-promotion I've sold one book. One. None would be a disaster but one is a triumph. Thank-you.

I'm soon to publish an actual paper novel with the assistance of FeedARead.com. The last time I did this, in 2007, it cost me (or rather Lloyd's bank as I declared myself bankrupt soon after) roughly £2500. That was Underlay, which is still available to buy; in fact if anyone would like a signed copy ask, I have half a dozen going spare. But I digress. Print on demand being what it is today it costs nowt to make yourself a paperback writer. That is, there is no actual paperback until some literary pioneer strokes your button. Then, kapow. All the author pays for is 'distribution' to Amazon etc. A bitesize £88. Of course you have to do the proofreading yourself. And design a cover, but they make this fairly straightforward with a template. I'm waiting for my cover to be approved. I had waited nearly a week before deciding to change the wording on the reverse, thus starting over. Which is where the advice comes in. Don't do it in a hurry.

The novel is Ocellus. Until a few days ago you could have read it on Authonomy but I've deleted all but the first two chapters now so you'll have to pay! £5.99 I'm thinking. Or maybe I'll run a competition...

Sammy HK Smith is DC by the way. Sorry, Sammy, but WPC sounds sexier.

Always comes too soon. Or else dies an uneasy death. Not sure which is preferable in the context of a novel, the writing thereof, but having laboured over a beginning and luxuriated in the possibilities of a middle, the end is, frankly, a pain in the arse.

Thirty five chapters and 80,000 words seemed about right. I'm at 69k and thirty chapters. Again, seems about right. Only: what next? I don't wish to grasp at a denouement. I mean, how undignified. I'm actually getting through about 1000 words an evening at present so maybe I should just relax. But 10k suddenly seems a big chunk.

In other news I waited two weeks for delivery of five copies of Ocellus, one of which I needed to get to the manager of Newcastle Waterstone's. They didn't arrive. Seems my order may have been 'rejected' by the printers on account of me not entering a full enough delivery address (my mum's). What? Really? Oh come on. I had one copy which I would have liked to have kept it being the first but I posted this rather than wait another week. Boo. Oh well. If said manager at Waterstone's nods I can then lean on Durham and take it from there...

Ebook sales are rubbish by the way. Shame on you.

A writer's existence is tough. Most of us have to work for a living, and I don't mean writing books. I work as a van driver for a local hospice, collecting donated furniture and sundry items (we've had kitchen sinks, canoes, life-sized papier mâché animals, wives, dogs and children, although obviously we've had to refuse certain of these). Jammed fingers, bruised ankles and the occasional loss of blood are all part of the job. Just don't get any blood on the furniture. Last Thursday, however, I was either bitten or stung by something small secreted in a sofa and shortlly thereafter my entire right arm broke out in a rash. Said limb then became red and inflamed and being too busy to call into a walk-in medical centre it was Saturday before I bothered a slightly scared looking pharmacist in Asda. 'That's quite a bad reaction,' he said before selling my some antihistamines. The rash has quelled somewhat but since invaded my left arm and bubbled up in one or two other places. It looks gross, but on a positive note doesn't particularly itch and there have been no other symtoms. In fact I've been feeling quite perky!

I now have a Facebook page dedicated to Ocellus, which is live on Goodreads since I uploaded the info. Likes, shares, visits, reads, friendings and indeed sales are all warmly invited.

I'm a loner at heart. My soul resides on a moon of Saturn. But you're welcome to join me for beer and sandwiches.

My new website www.apefiction.co.uk is now up and running. It is incomplete and a little raggedy but there are links to my books on Amazon and a few words About The Future. I plan to infiltrate, undermine and ultimately destroy the world of publishing, which ambition may well fall short but the idea of being a literary guerilla stirs my testicles into some guise of rebellion. And I do like to think big.

In the meantime I am firing blanks on Twitter (just to warn folk) and getting excited by the possibility of updating my computer. Alas, Apple Inc. is dragging its well-heeled heels on an updated Mac mini! Next week you say? An adjunct to 'smaller things', to borrow from their press release/slash media-event invite. Tis possible.

Still waiting on the first reviews of Ocellus, or the 'jigsaw book' as my mother calls it. One of her better names for things she doesn't really understand and not too hard to trump. No? Yes? Anyone!?

There is no worse feeling than opening a present to find it isn't quite what you were expecting. Not that it's all bad; just not altogether as bright and shiny as you had hoped.

The Crack is a well-established and widely read free listings magazine in Newcastle. Amongst the books reviewed in the November issue is Ocellus by me. It starts badly, with the reviewer slamming the jacket design (okay, I take the blame for this, lesson learned) and 'slightly clunky typeface'. The latter is a surprise, but I guess it is a little square. It gets better though. Having lamented the outside the review goes on to say: '...but the contents within have a lofty ambition which, while not wholly successful, can only be applauded.'

What is most disappointing is the lack of breadth, which leads me to think the reviewer skimmed. Unsurprisingly, there is mention of one (over)long sentence near the beginning which is C&P'd in full. Lazy? I think I'm allowed that much of a gripe. Our reviewer concludes with the question: 'Is the author aiming for a Joycean style, or is the grammar here as stretched as the cover image?'

Eh, no.

There are bloggers and there are bloggers. And then there are non-bloggers like me, mere after-the-fact word-spinners with only a rhythm in mind, a sculptural beat. We Know Not What We Write writers who hope mid-paragraph to discover a meaning, metaphor/shape.

Confused?

You can only do what you do. If your doings don't appeal, well, they are not undone. Merely suspended in time and space. That is: unread.

Still confused? Me too.

But enough of that. I've been concentrating a lot lately on ebook covers. A good cover is worth its weight in pixels it seems. And I don't disagree. They are fucking hard to get right though. On the plus side you can easily update a cover online. On the down side a bad cover will condemn your words to the realm of indifference, for they will be overlooked.

(see above)

Being skint, impatient and not owed any favours, all but two of my ebook covers are my own work. I say work, but that's stretching the point. They are lacklustre and lazy. I am trying hard to redeem myself but find I'm running into an old problem: talent falls short of imagination. A younger incarnation of myself fought a pen at school but his handwriting was always shit. Similarly, that same boy had a head full of pictures he found it impossible to delineate. Haphazard, thirty second cartoons I can rattle off; with captions. Detailed, intricate drawings of spectacular three-dimensional landscapes? Forget it.

Thus do I write!

Anyway, I bought a graphics tablet and have married this to SketchBook Express, which is excellent and free. I mean to try it with the equally free Gimp, but having previously downloaded that app my then computer crashed. I have since upgraded the hardware but as I type not relaunched. Which is besides the point. Layers! Yes, I have figured that much out. Each image on a different plane. Sounds familiar somehow...

In summary I'm experimenting and learning at the same time. This is how things should be. Most things at least.

Pencilled in for 2013 is a relaunch of Ocellus and the first rendition of The Orange Propeller, jacketed as befits twins of a peculiar bent, glorious in colour schemes to make the goddess blush.

That they might be read.

That is, stripped.

Yes, it's that time of year again. Not that I don't usually eat a lot of pork products, but in the Christian world at least ham is impossible to dodge in the run up to JC's birthday. Cards on the other hand are noticeable by their absence, in my flat at least. I have three from work. But before you go feeling sorry for me I expect to double this by Tuesday the 25th. Neither do I have a tree. Or any tinsel. Which would make it appear I loathe the whole festive spectacle. I don't. I just don't feel the need. No kids, see. Not so much as a hamster.

Before I lose you, I should say I'm feeling a lot better now thanks. My previous post would in times past have been deleted as the sad ramblings of an arse. I chose to leave it on this occassion largely out of curiosity. Now, enough of that...

Ocellus is - as I write - on a Kindle freebie giveaway. A modest 121 downloads thus far. Somewhat disappointing but no great surprise. I never know quite how to label my books and have it listed as Fiction>Literary Fiction. The LF tag puts a lot of people off so I will likely drop it in favour of General. Concurrently, indeed till next month, I have the novel 'available' in paperback via a Goodreads giveaway. Ten copies up for grabs. So far twenty potential recipients. I'm not sure how it works in truth. I would have preferred to post out to the first ten but am half expecting some kind of lottery.

My book cover art skills are improving! At least I imagine they are. New covers for Imbroligo and Warm Refrigerator now live.

And that's about it from me for 2012. I'll spare you the usual banalities and quote only the family motto: reviresco (grow green).

I must apologise to those of you who read my last blog post. It was all lies. Friday giveaways lasted two weeks before running out of contenders, inasmuch as I failed to check the renewal dates of those titles upcoming. Kindle Direct permits five days of freebies every ninety days and I had no days remaining! Do not, however, despair. Subvision is up this coming Tues for three days. A bit of a departure re days but interesting to see what that may bring.

A second edition of Ocellus is now out in paperback here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-mcewa.... It's 5k words shorter, smaller in format with a new cover (as ebook) and I've added a list of Notable Personages as a frontispiece. Had a couple of reviews on Goodreads so far as a result of my giveaway. Thanks to those who have read and commented. As expected the views have been mixed, but I'm optimistic the star rating will nudge upwards eventually.

Now, this is all sounding a bit serious. If it's light relief you're after then I suggest you follow me on Twitter @OcellusAMcEwan. My tweets are fun and I rarely go off on one honest.