Janet Thompson's Blog, page 50

Worry’s Growl

Thanksgiving is barely over when the pressure of Christmas and the month of December descends upon us. This seemed like a perfect time to introduce my readers to my dear friend and fellow author, Kathy Collard Miller, and her new book Partly Cloudy and Scattered Worries.

By guest blogger, Kathy Collard Miller

I headed out on my jog, evening the storm clouds that threatened rain above me. Oh, I so want to run, and I can’t run tomorrow. I’ve got to do it right now even if it rains. But by the time I’d run a mile, the drops started and got bigger and bigger.

Oh. I’m so disappointed, I mourned, as I turned and headed back. But then, a new resolve overwhelmed me. By golly, I’m going to run even if I get wet. It’s just too important for my health.

I continued running and the drops fell continually but were not drenching. As I ran, the rain slackened, yet clouds off in the distance were a dark, threatening color. Will it hold off? By the time I’d passed my three-mile mark, the sprinkles stopped, and when I looked up at the sky, the dark clouds were gone. Where did they go? I turned to look for them, but they had dissipated, though the sky was still overcast.

For the next two miles, no rain fell. As I reached the last half mile, the storm clouds opened up again and my clothes were reaching the wet category. But I didn’t care that my hair was wet; it had been an exhilarating run. Walking for my cool-down, a few rays of sun broke through the clouds, splashing the luscious, colorful hues of a rainbow across the sky. Wow. I would have missed it if I hadn’t risked getting wet.

My run could have been a really unpleasant experience but the warning of rain had turned out to be a worse threat than the actual rain. In the end, I was rewarded with a beautiful rainbow that I would have missed had I not run.

That day as I ran, I saw an analogy to worry. Its growl is worse than its bite. Worry can easily cause us to focus on disaster while taking away our ability to trust God. Yet even if what we fear happens, it’s often not as bad as we thought it would be. We might even experience the “rainbow” of God’s blessings in some unexpected way.

BOOK SUMMARY AND AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY:

It is possible to worry less through trusting God more. Regardless of the storms of trials, temptations, worry, uncertainty, confusion, or regrets that you’re facing, you can trust God more. Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries offers a conversational style, personal testimonies, practical illustrations, and solid biblical teaching for breaking anxiety and the devastating effects of worry. Each chapter includes Discussion Questions for individuals or groups, along with a “Letter from God.” In addition, a profile of a woman in the Bible who struggled with or experienced victory over worry is featured in each chapter to inspire every reader to see God’s hand in her life.

Kathy Collard Miller is a speaker and author. Her passion is to inspire women to trust God more. She has spoken in 30 states and 7 foreign countries. Kathy has 49 published books including Women of the Bible: Smart Guide to the Bible (Thomas Nelson) and she blogs at www.KathyCollardMiller.blogspot.com. Kathy lives in Southern California with her husband of 43 years, Larry, and is the proud grandma of Raphael. Kathy and Larry often speak together at marriage events and retreats.

 

Acquiring Overshadows Thanksgiving

To me, Thanksgiving ushers in an end-of-year season of thanking God for our many blessings, celebrating our biggest blessing—the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ—and setting purposeful goals for the next year.

I pondered and prayed about our local Christian radio station playing Christmas music all day October 31. Were they countering Halloween or getting a head start on the Christmas shopping frenzy? Most of my FB friends chose the first explanation, and I agreed.

The Black Friday frenzy is once again creeping into Thanksgiving

Now we have the infringement of Thanksgiving Day with some stores preempting “Black Friday” by opening on Thanksgiving Thursday! Two years ago when this trend started, they opened at 9 PM or midnight, but this year many stores are pushing the envelope and opening as early as  Thanksgiving morning!

The separation between Black-Friday and Thanksgiving is blurring.

The shift to earlier hours started in 2010 and has accelerated since then, said Kathy Grannis, spokeswoman for the National Retail Federation, which is based in Washington, D.C. Last year’s Thanksgiving shopping event was the biggest yet: More than 35 million people hit the stores and shopped online, up from 29 million in 2011, according to an NRF survey conducted by BIGinsight.–Sue Doefler. The Republic

Sadly, millions of people plan a quick “Thank you God for this meal,” which they’re gulping down to be the first in line for the “can’t miss, one-time-only, one-hour-only bargains.” Seriously? These stores run sales all year round and even more at every holiday. And financial analysts show that many of those stores opening on Thanksgiving are under performers and want us to help them get back into the black. Or their trying to make up for six less shopping days between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year . . . like we’re not all going to get our Christmas shopping done if we don’t start on Thanksgiving. Again, I ask, “Seriously?”

When I mentioned at our Thanksgiving dinner two years ago that I found it sad when a grandma at the table was going home to catch a nap because she had to go to work later at Wal-Mart, there were questions as to what I saw wrong with this new “tradition.” Here were my answers:

Instead of focusing an entire day on thanking God for providing all we need and already have (something we should do every day) there’s a frenzied rush to acquire more than we need.
Store workers no longer enjoy an entire holiday off. While shoppers are trampling each other for the “only-while-supply-lasts deals,” store employees have had to skip dessert to get back to work.
It’s definitely not God enticing crazed consumers to go shopping on a day set aside to thank Him for life and provision. So if it isn’t God . . . who else would it be whispering in ears, “Did God really say you shouldn’t go shopping on Thanksgiving? He just doesn’t want you to get that great deal.” Hmmm seems like a conversation something like that took place in the Garden of Eden.
How long will it be before after-Christmas sales start Christmas afternoon? If shoppers really support the opening of stores on Thanksgiving . . . it’s only a matter of time.

God Says . . .

In Exodus 16:4, the Lord said to Moses regarding the food He was providing for the Israelites, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions.” Later in Scripture, we learn that those who gathered and horded more than they needed lost everything.

In Matthew 6:24-26 God warns and assures us: “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?—

And in 1 Corinthians 10:14 “So, my dear friends, flee from the worship of idols.”

Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving to You All

Enjoy what the Lord has given you this Thanksgiving, be generous with your time, pray for wisdom and discernment in your acquisitions, and above all, share with everyone you meet the greatest “deal” of all time—eternal life through believing in Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

I would love to hear from you regarding what your family is doing to avoid the commercialization of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Please leave a comment below and share ideas with others.

 

Even Hollywood Gets It!

What do the following movies have in common?

Meet the Robinsons, Elf, Kung Fu Panda 2, The Search For Santa Paws, Les Miserables, Annie, Cinderella, Peter Pan, Aladdin.

Any ideas?

My grandkids were visiting this past weekend and they brought their DVD’s. They chose to watch The Search For Santa Paws one night, a movie I hadn’t seen. As I started watching it with them, I had a “Holy Spirit” moment when I realized one of the subplots was about orphans being rescued from a bad foster care home and being adopted by a couple who couldn’t have children. The next night they watched Kung Fu Panda 2 and this movie also had an orphan theme.

I had already planned this post for Monday, but I realized the Lord was opening my eyes to how many movies are about orphans or orphanages. One website said there are 599 movies with an orphan theme, including the ones I listed above.

The Bible says “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you” (James 1:27 NLT). It’s interesting that even Hollywood understands that passage.

A baby—precious, fragile, helpless, dependent, sweet, needy, and full of potential—without a family is destitute, institutionalized, alone . . .  heartbreaking.

Any child at any age without a home, without a family, without love is heartbreaking.

James 1:27 tells the church, and every Christian, that it isn’t enough to feel sad or compassionate about an orphan. The very foundation of our faith says we will take care of them. I have to think that when God uses the term “caring for orphans”, He means more than putting them in orphanages and the foster care system—He means they are the personal responsibility of the church.

National Adoption Awareness Month

November has been designated National Adoption Awareness Month, and specifically this year, November 23 is National Adoption Day. Eight years ago, my family became a “forever family” to my precious grandson, Brandon, and he became legally ours in a courtroom on National Adoption Day. We can’t imagine our family without Brandon, and I try not to focus on what his life would have been like had his teenage mother not put him up for adoption—or even worse—had she availed herself to a morning after pill or aborted her baby or left him on a doorstep. I’m still in awe and wonder that God bestowed such a precious gift to our family— baby Brandon.

God’s Plan A

Today 1 in 6 couples struggle with infertility, but with advances in infertility treatment, adoption is not always considered a viable option, or maybe considered as a Plan B when all else fails. My daughter Kim and her husband Toby, Brandon’s “forever parents,” struggled for years with infertility and, then, felt God calling them to a “ministry of adoption.” Many of you may have felt that same call to adopt a child into your family and have experienced the joys and blessings of “caring for the orphans.” It was never meant to be Plan B, it’s always been God’s Plan A. But my daughter stresses that a couple shouldn’t consider adoption until they can look at it as God’s plan for them becoming a family or adding to their family.

Adoption blesses the adopted family, the adopted child, and the birth mom.

God’s Plan for Orphans Is Not Just for the Infertile

In the Bible, God talked openly, and often, about orphans and the responsibility of the church to take care of them. Many churches today focus on caring for other nation’s orphans, which is admirable. But what about the orphans in their own communities and in the overflowing foster care system?

It’s an awesome thing to have your family sponsor a child through Compassion International or one of the other Christian organizations that help indigent children in foreign countries, but it’s also our calling to do something up close and personal for a child without a family in our country.

One of my son-in-laws regularly visited the local county orphanage to play with the children. Sadly, the foster care programs today are overflowing with children who need a loving, Christian home and parents. What is your church doing to help? What are you doing? What is your family doing?

Facts from The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute Website

In the U.S. 400,540 children are living without permanent families in the foster care system. 115,000 of these children are eligible for adoption, but nearly 40% of these children will wait over three years in foster care before being adopted.  Source: AFCARS Report, No. 19

Around the world, there are an estimated 153 million orphans who have lost one parent. There are 17,900,000 orphans who have lost both parents and are living in orphanages or on the streets and lack the care and attention required for healthy development. These children are at risk for disease, malnutrition, and death. Source: UNICEF and Childinfo

According to the U.S. State Department, U.S. families adopted more than 9,000 children in 2011. Last year, Americans adopted the highest number of children from China followed by Ethiopia, Russia, South Korea, and Ukraine. Source: United States State Department

No child under three years of age should be placed in institutional care without a parent or primary caregiver. This is based on results from 32 European countries, including nine in-depth country studies, which considered the “risk of harm in terms of attachment disorder, developmental delay and neural atrophy in the developing brain.” Source: Mapping the Number and Characteristics of Children Under Three in Institutions Across Europe at Risk of Harm: Executive Summary

Children raised in orphanages have an IQ 20 points lower than their peers in foster care, according to a meta-analysis of 75 studies (more than 3,800 children in 19 countries). This shows the need for children to be raised in families, not in institutions. Source: IQ of Children Growing Up in Children’s Homes A Meta-Analysis on IQ Delays in Orphanages

Each year, over 27,000 youth “age out” of foster care without the emotional and financial support necessary to succeed. This number has steadily risen over the past decade. Nearly 40% had been homeless or couch surfed, nearly 60% of young men had been convicted of a crime, and only 48% were employed. 75% of women and 33% of men receive government benefits to meet basic needs. 50% of all youth who aged out were involved in substance use and 17% of the females were pregnant. Source: Fostering Connections

Nearly 25% of youth aging out did not have a high school diploma or GED, and a mere 6% had finished a two- or four-year degree after aging out of foster care. One study shows 70% of all youth in foster care have the desire to attend college. Source: Midwest Evaluation of the Adult Functioning of Former Foster Youth

As of 2011, nearly 60,000 children in foster care in the U.S. are placed in institutions or group homes, not in traditional foster homes. Source: AFCARS Report, No. 19

States spent a mere 1.2-1.3% of available federal funds on parent recruitment and training services even though 22% of children in foster care had adoption as their goal. Source: Adoption Advocate No. 6: Parent Recruitment and Training: A Crucial, Neglected Child

Over three years is the average length of time a child waits to be adopted in foster care. Roughly 55% of these children have had three or more placements. An earlier study found that 33% of children had changed elementary schools five or more times, losing relationships and falling behind educationally. Source: AFCARS Report, No. 19

What is Our Responsibility as a Church?

As Christians, we should understand the concept of adoption since we’re all adopted into the family of God.

As you give thanks around your tables this Thanksgiving for the blessings and the families God has given you, who do you need to reach out to who longs for a family of their own— the orphans, the empty-arms parents, the pregnant women trying to decide what to do with her baby?

Learn to do good.

Seek justice.

Help the oppressed.

Defend the cause of orphans. (Isaiah 1:17 NLT)

 

My daughter Kim, and other mommies-in-waiting, tell their adoption stories in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey. We’re running a special for the remainder of November and December on this book at our website shop. If you know a couple struggling with infertility, or you are that couple, give a gift of hope and encouragement.

We officially became Brandon’s forever family on Adoption Day 2005 but he had been “ours” since he was three weeks old. By the time Adoption Day rolled around, he had a baby sister, Katelyn! God doubly blessed us all. Here he is with mommy and daddy and the judge who made it legal! What an amazing day it was and still is…

A Veteran Mother and Mentor

Today is Veteran’s Day . . . a day we honor all the men and women who risk their lives for our freedom. My husband and son are both veterans and I’m so proud of both of them. As Christians, we know that there is also a spiritual battle taking place all around us . . . one that tries to keep us from the freedom that comes from knowing Christ as our personal Lord and Savior.

Our guest blogger today, Brenda Nixon, is a friend, fellow Leafwood Author, and veteran mom helping Amish children who want to escape the Amish life. Brenda’s story gives quite a different perspective to the romanticized Amish novels that are so popular today. 

Late at night he crept down the steps and out the door of his farm house. He walked along the shadowy country road for two miles conflicted about his decision to leave. Wearing handmade, plain clothes, and with $50 tucked into his pocket, he tearfully made his stealth escape fearing being caught and stopped, yet dreading the painful consequences if he succeeded.

Eighteen-year-old Mosie, born into a New York Amish family, one of twelve children, turned from his life and culture because “there had to be more” yet he’d later say, “I never felt so wrong and so alone.”

Mosie walked it to his English (non-Amish) neighbor’s home and used their telephone to dial another Amish runaway. “Can you get me now?” he whispered. Then he sat and waited until a car made its way down the country lane and quietly inched into the driveway. With a sigh of relief, Mosie climbed in. His contact, David, brought him to Ohio where, one year later, our lives intersected.

My husband and I met Mosie when he tagged along with other “Ex-Men” – as my daughter affectionately called them.  The group consisted of young, polite, hardworking men who’d all left the Amish life and were struggling to adapt to life “outside.”

We learned that Mosie had just received a letter from his Amish parents telling him he was not welcome back, “even for a wedding or a funeral.” He was, in essence, shunned or ostracized by his family now. A teenager with no family contact or support. My heart broke for him.

“If his parents don’t want him, we’ll take him,” I immediately said upon hearing about his rejection.

Within weeks of meeting Mosie – and after much prayer – we suggested to him that we become his English parents. “I’d like that,” he softly replied, his brown cow eyes cast downward.

Mosie moved in and lived with us for a year. During that time I “mothered” him the best I could; teaching him about personal hygiene, car insurance, dating, and other life lessons our teens take for granted. I mentored him in making new friends, tutored him in his GED studies, included him in our family vacation – his first time to see the ocean – paid for his dental care, eye exam, and other childhood necessities. I prayed for and with him, explained Bible verses, and gave him lots of “mom” hugs and verbal affirmation. The year he lived with us wasn’t easy; it was an emotional roller-coaster for everyone in our family.

After getting a job, car, and a place to permanently live, he moved out and onward. Today Mosie lives in North Carolina, is active in an Evangelical church, and has a job, home, and girlfriend. He’s happy. We recently visited him and he proudly introduced us to his new friends as “my English mom and dad.”

My husband smiles. “Now we’re seeing the end result.”

Mosie was my first. Since then God has entrusted me with Harvey, Josh, Levi, Noah, Sarah, Monroe, and more.  Although mentoring each is different as is my level of involvement, God is showing me that I can “Mother” and mentor anywhere, anytime . . . I just need to be available, sensitive to His purpose, and ready to respond. Sometimes it’s as simple as including them for holiday dinners so they’d have a home away from home; others need physical basics like a birth certificate, Social Security number, job, housing, toiletries and English clothing. Many just need a “mom” hug.

Because my experiences being a “Mom” to the ex-Amish – as Marvin first called me – I’ve begun blogging about my learning curve at www.BrendaNixonOnAmish.blogspot.com . I’ve learned there are many different Amish Orders; not all are the same, and they avoid mingling the Orders. Not all offer Rumspringa, which is a stereotype. I’ve learned the Orders are referred to as “higher” or “lower” depending upon their rules and behavior. So far my experiences are with Swartzentrubers – the most insular, punitive, and legalistic sect – the lowest Order and Old Order Amish. And they’re nothing like those in romance fiction books.

For years I’ve earned my living as a parenting speaker and author. I’ve traveled around the country speaking at family and childcare conferences and have penned books but, never did I imagine God would morph me parenting adolescents from an American sub-culture which is highly misunderstood and often idealized. It keeps me on my knees, satisfies my soul, and makes me jump for joy.

Are you in a club, school, church, employed environment or a volunteer position? God has placed you there for a purpose. I encourage you to receive the priceless experiences of “mothering” and mentoring where you are. He may pick you to be a prayer partner for someone, to “mother” a homesick college student, teach a Sunday school class, start a Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group, visit and encourage new moms, lead a Bible study, or mentor a new believer in God’s word.

Brenda’s story can be found in Moments of Miracles and Grace (Leafwood Publishers) http://www.amazon.com/Miracles-Moments-Grace-Inspiring-Stories/dp/0891124047. Visit me at www.BrendaNixonOnAmish.blogspot.com, learn a bit, break stereotypes, and leave your comments. Perhaps you might even want to wrap your heart and arms around an ex-Amish.

 

An Angel in Pink

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I first met Melissa when she peaked into the room I had been speaking in for two days at a LifeWay “You Lead” conference held on the lower level of the Convention Center in Springfield, Illinois. Hubby and I were packing up my book table and speaking props.

Everyone had cleared out quickly when the conference ended, but suddenly, there was this sweet woman in a pink t-shirt asking, “Do you need any help?”

“We’re just packing up,” I said. “But do you know where the freight elevator is?”

The previous day, we had made numerous trips lugging book boxes and speaking gear down a long steep ramp to the meeting rooms in the basement, and I knew there was no way we could lug them back up the ramp.

She replied, “Yes, I know right where it is, and I can get you a flatbed cart. My name is Melissa and I just helped the LifeWay Store lady take boxes of books up to her car. I’ll go get the cart for you.”

A few minutes later, Melissa returned with a huge flatbed cart and started helping Dave put all our boxes on it while I cleaned up the room and folded tablecloths from the booktable. Melissa told me that she and her children work in a ministry where they learned to fold clothes neatly. She seemed in no hurry as it took me many tries to get the tablecloths back in their wrappers ready for the next book table, and Dave figured out the best way to load everything on the cart.

When all the “stuff” was on the flatbed cart, we asked where the freight elevator was and Melissa offered, “I’ll take the cart up the elevator while Dave goes to get the car. I’ll meet you outside.” And off she went with the heavy-laden cart. She shrugged off our protests that one of us should help her, “No problem! I just helped the LifeWay bookstore lady do the same thing.”

Dave hurried up the ramp to get the car and I finished tidying up the room. Then I headed off to find Melissa who was standing outside guarding our cart, waiting for Dave. When Dave arrived with the car, she insisted on helping us load the car!

We couldn’t stop thanking and praising Melissa for all her help. I told her she was our angel . . . we were both tired after two days of wonderful serving, and it would have taken us many trips using our little carts. I asked if she was going to see Beth Moore’s Living Proof Live event that night. She said yes, and remarked how surprised she was that women were already lining up at 3:00 when it didn’t start until 7 pm!

We both gave Melissa hugs and thanked her profusely, but she thanked us for coming to speak! Then, our angel in the pretty pink T-shirt was gone. Dave and I drove away still marveling at Melissa’s servant’s heart and God’s timing in bringing us a helping angel.

I have thought a lot about Melissa this week and wondered . . .

Would I have stuck around to be sure that everyone who needed help received it?
Would I have rationalized that I had already helped the LifeWay Bookstore lady and that was enough lugging books for one day?
Would I have just told Dave where the cart and freight elevator were, instead of obtaining the cart, helping load it, pushing it to the elevator, and waiting with it?
Would I have been impatient with us taking so long to get everything packed up just right, knowing that women were already lining up to get in to see Beth Moore and she could have gotten a good spot in line?
Would I have expected nothing in return for my efforts but the joy of serving?

I’d like to think so. How about you?

“Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.” Mark 9:35

You Are Priceless

This is the last Monday in October—a month in which I’ve been focusing on Breast Cancer Awareness Month in my Monday Morning Blog. Today, I invited Julie Coleman, author of Unexpected Love: God’s Heart Revealed in Jesus’ Conversations with Women, to share with us. As Julie jokingly talks about her cosmetic makeover, I was reminded of the free “Look Good . . . Feel Better” makeover I had at my radiation oncologist’s office. Most of us don’t feel very beautiful going through breast cancer treatment and it was so nice to have a professional give us a makeover, lunch, and free samples.

But Julie reminds all of us, healthy and not so healthy, that we are all precious in Jesus’ sight and He gives us our self-worth, value, and confidence, not our reflection in the mirror. Enjoy Julie’s post today—

 

I am no diva.

My daughter would roll her eyes at this statement and say, “No kidding!” Before every speaking event, Melanie insists on approving my outfit. She is afraid to let me leave the house without fashion supervision. “Put on some mascara,” she urges. “Lipstick will make you appear more professional.” I sigh and try to be obedient to her fashion sense, since I have none of my own.

On a shopping trip in Chicago with my cousins a few years back, we wandered into a chic makeup boutique. Noting the glamorous women browsing the store, I knew right away I didn’t belong there. But as I tried to inconspicuously peruse the aisles (so as not to embarrass my cousins), a makeup artist swept over. It was like I had a bull’s-eye painted on my forehead. She wanted to give me a makeover. I tried to explain that makeup wasn’t really a huge part of my daily routine. A face like mine would be a waste of her time. She insisted.

I felt sorry for her. She seemed so nice and sincere, so desperate to please. So I put myself into her hands.

The woman worked wonders. My eyes looked brighter and my face younger. I wrote down every product she used to perform her magic. Then I went shopping.

Please note: previously, the most sophisticated cosmetic purchase I had ever made was at the drugstore. So as I shopped, I didn’t think to look at prices. How expensive could eye shadow be? If only I knew.

Eventually I found myself in line with my little basket of purchases, again noticing the beautiful, stylish women now in line all around me. Obviously if you cared about your appearance, you bought your makeup in this place. Pretending to be a regular customer, I nonchalantly stepped up to the counter.

The young beauty behind the counter rang up my purchases. “Good news,” she enthused. “You have spent over $150! That entitles you to a special gift!” One hundred fifty dollars?? For blush and powder? I almost passed out. Excruciatingly aware of the Beautiful People surrounding me in line, I gulped and handed over my credit card, trying to look casual, as if this was a routine purchase for a diva like me. My hand was shaking. I thought I might possibly throw up, right there in front of this bunch of super models. How would I explain this to my husband?

My cousins and I left the store together. I was still shaken. “I j-just spent $150 on eye shadow,” I stammered. “Those people think a lot of their makeup.”

In the real estate market, a home’s value is determined by what someone is willing to pay for it. Similarly, the boutique’s confidence in their product was demonstrated by the cost they assigned to it. Apparently, I validated their assumption, since I willingly paid their price. The signature on my credit card slip indicated this makeup was indeed worth $150. At least to me. Apparently.

We can say the same for our own worth, according to Scripture. Our value has been determined by the price God was willing to pay for us.

“You were redeemed…with precious blood…the blood of Christ” (2 Peter 1:18-19).

 

 

Author and speaker Julie Coleman dedicates herself to helping others understand and know an unexpected God. Her new book, Unexpected Love: God’s Heart Revealed in Jesus’ Conversations with Women, was recently released by Thomas Nelson. Julie and her husband live in Annapolis, MD. You can find her blog at unexpectedgod.com.

NOTE:  This is the last week of our doubly reduced price of Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey for National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. A perfect gift for a friend or for yourself.

On a First-Name Basis with God

Carrying on the theme of Breast Cancer Awareness month, I’ve invited Ava Pennington to share her book, 

. In  Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer, I encourage women as they struggle with breast cancer to talk and write to God. There are journal lines and prompts for writing “Your Love Letter to God” at the end of each chapter. In the “God’s Love Letter to You” sections, I personalize Scripture and sign it with the many names and assets of God.

Ava’s book will  enhance everyone’s personal relationship with our Lord and Savior. Today’s post is written by Ava Pennington.

I’ve been a Christian for more than forty years, but it wasn’t until the past several years that I could say I’m on a first-name basis with God.

Don’t get me wrong. I knew Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and I was confident God knew me by name. But I didn’t realize until recently that, although God knew me by name, I was not as intimate with Him by name…specifically by the names and attributes He revealed for Himself in His Word.

The topic of the names and attributes of God is a popular one. There is no shortage of books, calendars, and cards on the subject. But I wanted to write a devotional that moved beyond learning a name and checking it off a list.

As I wrote Daily Reflections on the Names of God: A Devotional, I was struck by how many of God’s names and attributes I knew only on an intellectual basis. I had not stopped to consider what many of them meant to me personally.

For example, when I call God my Banner or a Consuming Fire, how did those names change the way I lived? Or did they change the way I lived at all? When the Bible refers to the Lord as the Bridegroom, what did that mean to me – someone who has been married for 35+ years? Or when Jesus is called the Lion of Judah, what did that mean to this city girl whose closest exposure to a lion occurred at the local zoo?

A Devotional

Because of my own need, I chose to structure this book as a devotional, applying three unique devotions to each of 122 names and attributes of God. Each name and attribute is explored from three perspectives: who God says He is, who we are in relation to that name/attribute, and how our relationships are influenced by that name/attribute.

At the end of the project, I knew God more intimately and I understood myself more clearly. For one thing, it changed the way I related to Him. My faith is not a “blind faith” since it rests on the proven character and ways of God. While I may not fully understand who He is until I get to heaven, His names and attributes provide glimpses into His divine nature.

A Renewed Prayer Life

Understanding why God has chosen certain ways to describe Himself also changes my prayer life. I’m not praying to an impersonal force out in the universe. I’m praying to our very personal God, who I know by name and who knows me by name. Whatever the subject of my prayer – whether worship, thanksgiving, interceding for others, or asking for myself – there is a name or attribute God has revealed for Himself that helps me relate to Him in that area.

Knowing what God says about Himself has also changed the way I teach and share Christ. God is not some ancient or outdated theological concept. Everything about who He is and how He works is relevant to us today. Knowing His names and attributes gives me the specific words to describe Him to others. It also helps me when others speak of who they think God is, because I have a starting point to say, “Let’s look at who God says He is!”

I hope you’ll join me in becoming more intimately acquainted with our great God. As you do, let me know the difference it makes in your life!

Ava Pennington is a writer, Bible teacher, and speaker. Her newest book, Daily Reflections on the Names of God: A Devotional, is endorsed by Kay Arthur, founder of Precept Ministries International. Additionally, Ava is co-author of Faith Basics for Kids. The first two books in the series are Do You Love Me More? and Will I See You Today? She has also written numerous articles for magazines such as Today’s Christian Woman, Power for Living, and Focus on the Family’s Clubhouse.

Ava also teaches a weekly, Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) class of 175+ women. She is a passionate speaker and teacher, and delights in engaging audiences with relevant, enjoyable presentations.

For more information, visit her at www.AvaWrites.com

To purchase Daily Reflections on the Names of God:

Help Your Friend With Breast Cancer Make It Through the Bad Days and Enjoy The Good Days

In loving memory of my “Grace Abounds”

October ushers in fall with thoughts of pumpkin pie and harvest colors, but for many women like myself, it’s also a reminder that October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2002, with recurrences in 2008 and 2011. So for me, and my breast cancer sisters, we’re also thinking pink. BTW pink and brown are great color combinations.

I found purpose in the pain of my first diagnosis by writing the book I wished I had going through my own journey, Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey.  The hardest chapter to write was “It Could Come Back.” But come back it did come, twice! Any fears I had that my friends and family couldn’t, or wouldn’t, go through this ordeal with me again, were unfounded as they rallied around me each time with love, caring, support and most importantly, prayer.

In the following post, I have suggestions for how you can do the same for the breast cancer friend or family member or neighbor, or fellow employee, or acquaintance you barely know. Because with 1 in 8 women being diagnosed with breast cancer . . . you know a woman who has cried out in anguish, “Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer!”

_____________

“I’m sorry…but you do have breast cancer.”

Those shocking words crackling through my cell phone rocked my world eleven years ago. I was running errands…trying to outrun suspected bad news. After the doctor’s parting words, “You’ll be fine,” I fired up the car engine and started driving and dialing. The first person I called, after I told my husband, was my best friend, but she couldn’t comprehend the diagnosis. “A positive biopsy doesn’t mean it’s malignant, does it?” she asked.

It’s hard to know what to say or do when a friend or relative drops the bombshell news that she has breast cancer. Often our natural response is to recoil and retreat. Maybe it’s the fear of facing our own mortality or the time and emotion required if we do get involved. We ease our conscience by thinking: she would rather be alone right now anyway. Or she needs her family at a time like this. Or she has so many friends; I know someone will help her.

We may send a card or make a call offering to help, closing with “I’ll be praying for you,” then on we go about our life while her life crumbles. Yet the Bible clearly tells us to, “Help each other in troubles and problems. This is the kind of law Christ asks us to obey” (Galatians 6:2 NLV).

How can we put that verse into practical terms? What does it truly mean to help each other in troubles and problems? Perhaps you can glean some ideas from the ways my friends and family came along side me during my initial breast cancer journey and two recurrences.

Helping Her with the Bad Days

 

Don’t Just Offer to Help—Do Something Tangible

Most of us find it difficult to receive help; we are hesitant to impose on others. When asked the generic question, “How can I help you?” our common response is, “I’m fine, but thank you for asking.” Truthfully, we need everything, but we don’t know if the person is offering to mop our floors or pick up our kids from school—both of which we need, but are afraid to ask.

Another well-meaning comment I received was, “Just call me if you need anything.” Now how many women are going to pick up the phone and ask for help, especially if they are not feeling well? Again, we don’t know what the person is willing to do for us, and we don’t want to be a burden.

So instead of offering to help—just jump in and do something. If you know your friend well, you know where she needs help; and even if you don’t know her well, you know where all women need help. If she is in the midst of cancer treatment, she is going to need assistance with every area of her life, especially if she is single. Here are some practical ideas:

Schedule her friends, family, and church to bring meals. Use your lunch break to take her lunch and eat with her.
Offer to drive her to doctor’s appointments or treatments and take notes for her.
Shuttle her kids to and from school or find someone who can.
Sit with her during chemo treatments or accompany her to radiation. Talk, read a book to her, or just hold her hand.
Take her children on a play date or to your house.
Do her laundry.
Do her grocery shopping. If she is too sick to dictate a list, take an inventory of her refrigerator and cupboards and make your own list.
Answer her email.
Bring her a gift that makes her feel feminine.
If she feels like talking, sit and chat with her. When she doesn’t feel like talking, just be a presence in her home so she doesn’t feel alone.
Babysit her kids so she and her husband can have some private time.
Clean her house or pay someone to do it.
Go with her to pick out a wig or prosthesis.
Pick up prescriptions.
Run errands.

My first surgery and treatment extended over the Christmas holidays, and we had six grandchildren at that time. I had bought their presents already but couldn’t imagine wrapping them. So my friend took all the presents home and wrapped them, as well as organizing other friends to deliver meals for three months. During my recuperation, she sat on my bed with my laptop, read my emails to me, and then sent my dictated answers. Later, she accompanied me to radiation, fixed my hair when I had a frozen shoulder, and stuck beside me through the entire cancer ordeal, even though she admits that her first reaction to my phone call on that dreaded diagnosis day was, “Lord, I don’t want to do this.” God assured her that she could do it, and she did.

Don’t Say, “I’ll Pray For You,” Unless You Mean It

At church a couple came up to greet my husband and me and asked if they could pray for us. That meant so much to me as we wrapped our arms around each other, and there on the church patio, this precious couple prayed for my recovery and Dave’s strength for the journey. When we finished, the wife asked where we needed help. I hesitated because I knew this woman didn’t like to cook, but Dave quickly interjected, “We could use a meal.” She didn’t flinch. She said they would be over the next night with dinner, and they were…and they prayed for us again.

“I’ll pray for you” is said too often with the casualness of “Have a nice day.” But a promise to pray isn’t just a feel good phrase. We are telling someone that we will petition God on her behalf, and we are living falsely if we don’t. I find it’s best to stop in the moment and pray right then. It keeps me honest and blesses the other person.

Helping Her Enjoy the Good Days

 

Be Happy with Her When She’s Happy

Cancer is a grim word. Overnight life becomes serious, tense, and laden with fear. There is very little laughter during those first shocking days following the “dreaded diagnosis.” But life continues and there are going to be good days interspersed with the bad. An insightful friend will capitalize on the moments of reprieve when there is an opportunity to laugh or smile. Be ready, because it may only last a moment, but the break from pain and fear is immeasurable.

If your friend is having an especially good day, avoid topics that you know will bring her down. You aren’t minimizing or making light of the seriousness of the situation, but you are giving her a recess from the intensity. Don’t fake happiness, but take advantage of humorous or lighter moments. Smile. Laugh. Be happy. Don’t let the serious eclipse the humorous.

I remember laughing at myself one day in the shower when I realized that I was so carefully not shaving under my left arm because of the lymph node surgery, that I also wasn’t shaving my left leg. I frequently retold that story so people could laugh with me.

Nurture the Little Girl Inside Her

When I was in the hospital, the nurse in charge of the breast-care unit gave me a white stuffed toy sheep named “Fleece.” Taking Fleece with me everywhere, I held him as a shield in front of my sore breast, tucked him under my arm as an armrest, and snuggled next to him in bed. For six months, I indulged my childish need for security and no one chastised me for it. In fact, they acted like it was normal. And I discovered when I was writing my book, Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer, that it was normal! One woman who shared her story in the book had a black stuffed sheep named “Lamby” that she cuddled in her hospital bed. Another received a baby-sized pillow, and she recalls, “That pillow became a part of my wardrobe for eighteen months.”

Comfort and Security Gifts

A stuffed animal, pillow, or quilt.
A favorite food.
A game she loves to play and play it with her.
A movie she loved as a kid and watch it with her.
A surprise reunion with childhood friends.
A tea party.
A fun hat—even if she hasn’t lost her hair, she might not feel like fixing her hair.
A new nightgown that buttons down the front.
An ice cream cone.
A nightlight.


Shower Her with Love

Kay Warren shared with me about her breast cancer experience, “I don’t know how we would have gotten through this difficult time without the outpouring of love and support from so many. I have not felt alone at all…which is such an amazing gift!” And that it is…love is the best gift you can give to your friend suffering with breast cancer. Don’t desert her when she needs you most. Right now, she requires extravagant love, and God will help you when your heart is breaking or it just seems too sad or too hard. John 13:34 tells us to love one another just as God has loved us. God is the author of love and He knows just what your friend needs, and He will show you how to love her when she is feeling unlovable.

Surprise her. What woman doesn’t love an unexpected gift or demonstration of how valuable she is to us? We were in the midst of a messy kitchen remodel when breast cancer assaulted me. Everything in my life seemed out of control. But I felt so loved the day I returned home after the painful needle biopsy and spotted amongst the rubble—gift bags full of treats with balloons attached and a card from two girlfriends assuring me they had been praying during the ordeal.

Ideas For Showering Your Breast Cancer Friend With Love

A Spa day at a salon, which treats women with breast cancer.
If she wears a hat or scarf, wear one too.
Tell her how much you love her and what a great friend she is.
Stick with her even when the treatment lingers on. Her biggest fear is that others will not endure the journey.
Include her in as many activities as she feels up to.
Go to a breast-cancer support group with her.
Plan a girls’ day or night out, when she feels up to it.
Sit and watch old movies with her—even if she falls asleep.
Do her makeup.
Pray for and with her.

The Bible assures us in Proverbs 17:17 that “A friend loves at all times.” What a privilege it is to put that verse into practice for your precious friend with breast cancer. You probably won’t be able to do everything I suggest and I hope you have ideas of your own, but as a three-time breast cancer survivor, I assure you there are three things that will endure through the good and the bad times—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

The Top Thirteen Things to Do or Say and NOT to Do or Say to Someone with Breast Cancer

Breast Cancer Support

Article includes excerpts from Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey.

In honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we have further reduced the price of Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer at our website shop for the month of October. I will sign and personalize each book.

 

Think Pink, But Be Wise

This month, along with fall colors, you’ll also see pink splashed across newspapers, blog sites, magazines, kitchen appliances, cars, mayonnaise jars . . . as marketers and opportunists try to take advantage of our compassionate desire to help find a cure for breast cancer during National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. But beware: everything colored pink is not black and white. I have some tips on helping you determine a legitimate pink investment versus a pink opportunist.

While taking my early morning walk and praying for what I should write this month on breast cancer, I felt the Lord prompting me with the title of this blog. At the bottom of our road is a row of newspaper holders, and I finish my walk by getting our paper. I laughed aloud when I saw the color pink filling all the newspaper receptacles. The entire Idaho Statesman newspaper was pink!

“Even the sports page is pink!” my husband exclaimed. A front-page article jumped out at me: “Make Your Donation with Care: That Pink Ribbon Might be Lying; Find the Truth about Breast Cancer Giving.” I knew God was confirming that He did want me to warn about the dangers of scammers hitching up to the October pink bandwagon.

Make Your Financial Donations with Care

“Being a donor is a huge responsibility,” said Lynn Hoffmann, executive director of the Idaho Nonprofit Center. “I think it’s too often that donors do just give because they want to do something, but if they don’t do their homework, those dollars may not go where they want them to go” (Idaho Statesman). If you’re going to make a donation, do a thorough investigation of where the money will be going. Ask some basic questions:

How much of what I’m giving goes toward the charitable purpose and what is that purpose?
Is this a nonprofit, tax-exempt organization?
How much of a donation goes for administration, fundraising, and to the core mission?
Is the organization truly nonprofit and tax-exempt?
What are the executive’s salaries?

Question Solicitors

I receive frequent solicitation calls asking for donations to fund breast cancer research or to help breast cancer patients. I always tell them I am a three-time breast cancer survivor and wait to see their response. One sweet woman said, “God bless you and I’ll pray for your future health. We won’t call you again.” But others keep trying to get my money, and that’s when the red flag goes up. Be skeptical of any pushy solicitors.

Ask:

the name of the charity, website, phone number, and address, and tell then you will investigate and they can call back.
if the caller is an employee, a volunteer, or a telemarketer, whose company might be the ones banking the donations.

Research Online

Many websites and organizations collect and publish information on nonprofits:

GuideStar.org collects tax documents on federally registered nonprofits.
ProPublica is an investigative journalism nonprofit group with an easy to search database at projects.propublica.org/.nonprofits.
CharityNavigatigator.org rates some nonprofits.

Do some investigating yourself. The foundation or nonprofit asking for a donation should have a website: do they post annual reports? Who are their affiliates or partners?

My husband and I do not want our money going to any organization that supports, funds, affiliates with, or sponsors something we don’t agree with or support. For example, we no longer support Susan G. Komen after learning that they fund Planned Parenthood, which offers abortions. For several years before knowing this, I walked in the Komen races, wore their T-shirts, enjoyed the camaraderie of doing an event with other breast cancer survivors, and have Komen listed under National Contacts in the Sanity Tools of Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer. However, I had not done my homework.

Buyer Beware

KUOW.org points out:

“Susan G. Komen for the Cure is one of the largest breast cancer charities in the world. It partners with corporations to brand pink ribbon product lines for the month of October: pink Purina pet food, pink Yoplait yogurt, and pink buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken, to name a few.”

When purchasing merchandise with a pink ribbon, ask the merchant: Are you donating any portion of the sale, and if so, to what organization?

I saw an advertisement for a pink/pink ribbon decorated Swifter WetJet with a “Cleaning For A Reason” slogan. They also gave a website www.cleaningforareason.org. At their website, I saw that they had a non-profit foundation and donations go to providing cleaning services for cancer patients. There were testimonials and contact information for further questions. I had no idea this service was available, and it looks like a good one.

But money spent to purchase a pink/pink ribbon Swifter WetJet is not going to the foundation; it’s going to Swifter and the merchant. So if I want a pink Swifter WetJet great; but if I want to donate to cleaning services for breast cancer women, I need to donate to their foundation.

Per Dr. Samantha King, director of Queen’s University school of kinesiology and health studies and the author of Pink Ribbons, Inc: Breast Cancer and the Politics of Philanthropy: Companies who use the Komen name pay Komen up front for the right to put Komen’s pink ribbon and name on their products. So your purchase doesn’t make any difference, nor does a portion of your purchase go straight to Komen. Money has already exchanged between Komen and the business. You can hear an interview with Dr. King at KUOW.org, and Google her name to read more of her comments on “pinkwashing.”

Sadly, there is a rampant marketing ploy of “pinkwashing”—raising the price of a pink or pink ribbon product. The assumption of the consumer is that the extra cost goes directly to fund a breast cancer foundation, but in most cases, it’s just making extra money for the business. If you know this and just want to wear pink, like I do for awareness purposes, that’s fine—but realize that’s what you’re paying for.

Everyone should eat healthy, especially women fighting breast cancer, so beware of foods packaged with a pink ribbon that wouldn’t be good for them (or you). Here are a few I’ve seen who will try to use the pink ribbon to get your emotional purchase:

Sugar—cancer loves sugar

Candy—sugar

Soft drinks—not good for anyone to drink

KFC—really?

I’ve Been Fooled Too

When first diagnosed with breast cancer, I vowed I would not wear pink or a pink ribbon because I didn’t want breast cancer to be my identity. But I soon realized it was my testimony to God’s faithfulness and something I couldn’t deny. So today, as a survivor, pink is my favorite color and I’m proud to wear clothing and jewelry with a pink ribbon—the universally understood breast cancer insignia.

I’m not picking on Komen, or promoting any organization, I just want you to be sure your money and donations are going where you think they are going.

You have to make your own decisions, and I would love to hear some organizations and foundations that you have researched—viable candidates for us to support in the fight against breast cancer. I think we have achieved awareness, what we haven’t achieved is a cure. I feel the answer is preventive research: why is breast cancer so prevalent and what can we do to protect ourselves against this dreaded disease? That’s where I’ll put my money. How about you? What are your thoughts?

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Note: About His Work Ministries is not a non-profit, tax-exempt foundation and we do not solicit or receive donations.

In honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and to help me walk along side more of my breast cancer sisters, we have reduced the price at our website shop for the remainder of October of Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey.

Communicating More But Saying Less

 

Does this conversation on a recent television sitcom between a mother and daughter regarding the son/brother who is away at college, resonate with you like it did with me?

Mom: I wrote him this big long email and he sent me a text! By the way, don’t send a text in response to an email. That’s just rude! He said, ‘Going to class gtg’. What does gtg mean?

Daughter: It means . . . ya know . . . Got to go.

Mom: What is ‘brb’?

Daughter: Be right back.

Mom: And then here’s the biggest insult, ‘love u’. Just ‘u’, not the whole word! I gave birth to ‘u’, don’t I deserve the ‘y’ and the o’? Then he sent me this little yellow smiley face. What’s that?

Daughter: A little emoji art for you.

Mom: I want to emoji art back. Show me how. Maybe he’ll respond to me then!

Are you laughing as hard as I did? I was watching this program with my adult daughter with whom I’ve had similar conversations. Here’s how the evolution of communication has spiraled with this daughter and with her brothers and sisters and their spouses! Anything similar happen in your family?

The phone: We had frequent conversations on old fashioned, landline phones.
Cell phones: Then came cell phones and we all went on the family plan and talked often.
Email: Free on the computer! No long distance charges or using cell minutes, so we wrote long emails regularly to each other. Even though I did miss hearing their voices, I loved receiving their newsy emails.
Facebook: I first got on Facebook to see what my daughter and grandkids were doing, since she stopped sending pictures by email and was only posting them on her timeline. Then, I started communicating with my readers more via Facebook, but my daughter started posting less.
Pinterest: “Mom you have to get on Pinterest,” so I did. Again, it was a great networking tool with my readers, but I seldom see my daughter on it anymore.
Smart Phones: All the kids got smart cell phones with virtual keyboards, which are a pain to type on, and if you try the speaker…who knows what embarrassing words you might be sending because the print is small and you can’t see the screen in the sunlight. But I got one anyway . . . . Even though they could receive email on their phones, the kids still didn’t respond to emails.
Texting: Then the kids did an intervention with my husband and me insisting that we add texting to our phone plan because that’s how they wanted to communicate with us. So we did, but again typing on phone keyboards is difficult—words are limited, and we have a limited texting plan. But they do respond better to texting, except our “conversations” now go something like this:

Wen wil u b here?

dnt no

How r u

Fine   or sometimes just

Meeting Them Where They’re At

I’ve seen some funny Facebook posts about moms and grandmas trying to text or use the speaker and the crazy things they end up “saying.” I haven’t mastered many of the imojis, and didn’t even know that’s what they’re called until I heard it on the above TV program. It took me forever to figure out how to make a heart, and I still haven’t mastered the wink, nor do I understand most other “imojis.”

However, I’ve learned: if I want to stay in communication with my kids and grandkids, I must learn to adjust, adapt, and appreciate new ways of communicating with a good attitude. It’s useless to continue sending emails that seldom get a reply. If texting is the way to get a response, then I’ll text until the next communication craze.

Some parents and grandparents throw up their hands in frustration over these communication trends and refuse to adapt. Then, they’ll complain about never hearing from their kids or grankids. We’re the losers if we stay stuck in techie avoidance, because technology is going to keep moving on whether we do or not.

Everyone’s Looking Down, Be Sure You’re Looking Up

If you observe most people today—families in homes, shoppers in the mall, diners at a restaurant or a coffeehouse—they’re looking down at their most prized possession, a cell phone. Yes, they also use tablets and Ipads, but a phone fits in a pocket or purse, and many simply hold it in their hand. Today’s generation seems desperate to stay in touch and be available, even if words are brief and few.

We can encourage our family and friends to have the Bible “AP” on their phone, and look down at that occasionally. YouVersion is a great resource and offers the Bible in all translations and yearlong reading plans. For years, I prayed that my daughter would want to read the Bible, and then her church challenged her to read the Bible via YouVersion on her smart phone. That worked for her because she checked her phone every morning, and she read the entire Bible in a year and 3 weeks. Now she gets YouVersion morning devotionals on her phone.

Remember what Satan tries to use for bad, God can always use for good.

Putting It All In Perspective

This is a great comparison of the Bible vs. the cell phone:

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone? What if . . .

We carried it around in our purses or pockets?

We flipped through it several times a day?

We turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

We used it to receive messages from the text?

We treated it like we couldn’t live without it?

We gave it to kids as gifts?

We used it when we traveled?

We used it in case of emergency?

Unlike our cell phone, we don’t have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!

 

BTW, I still use email, allot, so email me or visit me on Facebook or leave a comment. I love to hear from you.