Jamie C. Pritchard's Blog, page 10

Three Of The Best: Horror Weapons

Throughout horror films there have been all kinds of weapons – some obvious, some bizarre – designed to kill. Here are three classics, simple but effective!

Meat Hook (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

We all know he is famous for his chainsaw but who can forget those meat hooks he keeps in his basement? It would take some almighty strength and a very sharp hook to actually stick someone on a meat hook in real life, but of course Leather face does it like a pro in the films. It’s an extremely painful, awkward and a slow method of death. Bonus points are given for the nonchalant way in which he carries on with his house chores after the victim has been impaled.

Kandarian Dagger (The Evil Dead 2)

Ash’s chainsaw and Boomstick are just as famous as his one-liners, though a little generic. The Kandarian Dagger however is a beaut. This strange weapon was found alongside the Necronomicon by Professor Knowby and is a regular blade in the original film. By the remake it has evolved (for the better I think) into a blade that resembles a spine, and so not only does it look cool but there is something extra personal about getting stabbed by another piece of anatomy.

Chicken Wire (Audition)

The dark life of the character known as Asami brilliantly unfolds in Takashi Miike’s 1999 horror, Audition. The famous finale occurs when the hero’s nightcap is unknowingly spiked with something which produces locked-in syndrome. Cue some torture. Asami takes a special kind of pleasure in showing her former love interest that “pain doesn’t lie,” and no better is that illustrated than when she grabs the chicken wire. Once coiled around a leg she sadistically see-saws a leg off. The gradually manner of slicing through the skin, into the bone and then right through is truly wince-inducing, especially because of how much she likes it. Perhaps the most effective shot in this scene is the one from outside as we see the severed foot thrown at the patio window with a thud – imagine seeing something like that as you walk past!

Three Of The Best: Head Explosions

A good dome explosion always brings a smile to my face. Even in the midst of intense action they are a showstopper. Here are three of the best – all from the early ‘80s.

Scanners (1981)

Not just in horror but in all genres I would say this one comes to mind first. Because of its formal setting and horrific execution it stands out more than any other, so much so that it has been a popular internet gif for years. During a demonstration with a fellow ConSec scanner the unfortunate host of the experiment pays a hefty price as rogue Darryl Revok uses his greater scanning abilities to make for an unforgettable day at work. It’s a real satisfying burst – like a firecracker going off inside an overripe peach.

Maniac (1980)

This classic sleazy slasher features a superb performance by Joe Spinell and a number of good death scenes. It also features one of the best head explosions of all time. It was the handiwork of Tom Savini, and better yet he’s the one whose head gets exploded! As he’s trying to escalate things with a bit of evening crumpet the girl begins to suspect a presence outside. Savini’s characters is pretty bummed out that she insists on being taken back home but he finds life is about to get a whole lot worse – or rather end – as the Maniac jumps on the hood of his car with a shotgun and pulls the trigger. The lovely manner in which skull unravels like a rug in the wind as a fountain of blood erupts goes great with a cup of tea.

The Beyond (1981)

Now this may not technically be a head explosion, well, not a full one anyway. As we make our way towards the grand finale of Lucio Fulci’s classic we find that one of the younger characters (Jill) has also been claimed by the demonic presence. As John is pre-occupied shooting the undead with his atrocious aim he sees that Jill is now part of the bad clan and so has no choice to take aim. This time he is on the money, creating one of the more memorable Fulci death scenes as the forehead of Jill is shockingly removed in one wonderful blast.

Underrated Monsters

Here are a few abominations which I feel don’t receive enough love…

 

Dr Jacob Tess Freudstein (House by the Cemetery, 1981)

At the end of Lucio Fulci’s tale about a family who move into a – read the movie title – they are confronted by the one who has been doing all the killing.

With his head bound in this mouldy, leathery skin, Dr Freudstein doesn’t look so good. There are no proper features, only the shape of them. He is rotted yet living. One of his hands is a child’s and he whimpers just like one to attract visitors. The ingenious explanation is self-surgery/regeneration.

Dr Jacob Tess Freudstein was a 19th century scientist, interested in cell degeneration. Naturally he was shunned by his peers but continued to work on his more ‘cutting edge’ methods which involved live human subjects. Thought to have been killed by the second cholera pandemic he appears to have perfected his regeneration techniques shortly before that and so continues to live in “a state of living necrosis.”

Not everyone is a big fan on this Fulci flick thanks to the hilarious dubbing of a young Giovanni Frezzi (immortalised as Bob), but the build-up before the unveiling of Dr Freudstein is exemplary.

 

The Creeper (Jeepers Creepers, 2001)

I’m aware this is a well-known monster but did it get enough praise? On every twenty third years it feeds on humans for twenty three days during spring…cutesy, but I think that has a cool dynamic about it, like a tornado which you can’t prevent. You either have to bear it or try and escape.

The visual design is like a much scarier Creature from the Black Lagoon. There’s an amphibious quality but there’s also an insect and reptile one which brings us to its special power – regeneration! But different to Dr Freudstein this thing has to consume to save lost body parts. It also has a taste for DIY with homemade weaponry beyond its natural gifts – razor-sharp teeth, super strength, the ability to fly and a fine set of arachnid antlers.

The crux of most if not all horror is that you can’t prevent it and I feel perhaps the nicest touch in both films is at the very end of the second. There sits Taggart having killed it twnety three years ago, firmly gripping his weapon of choice, most of his life behind him, waiting for the thing in front of him to hatch again. A young lad new to the whole drama asks if he’s waiting for something.

“About three days,” he replies, “Give or take a day…”

 

Tristana Medieros Da Souza (REC, 2007)

We may assume that Tristana was once a happy little niña…that was before she was raped by a group of priests. For some reason they were found dead the next morning and Tristana was seized by Nuns who attempted an exorcism. They too were killed. The root of this possession was caused by an enzyme which triggered an infectious disease.

The result was that little Tristana transformed into this awfully lanky, emaciated and horrible thing. As Angela and Pablo make their way through the quarantined building in the first film their attempt to escape leads right to her. Trying to record everything while being as quiet as possible they capture her disturbing entrance. She may not look healthy but is definitely threatening, around 9’-10’ and loosely carrying a hammer.

But what gives this monster more impact is the back story, the scattered medical papers, the attempts to save what now lumbers in front of them, clearly unhappy about its existence. Before Pablo and Angela’s unfortunate end Tristana is on the hunt for some food in the kitchen. It’s scary itself just to think of how long she has been isolated here. Pablo and Angela then make a noise which unlocks that angers which Tristana is powerless against, and so commences a jolly good hammer-smashing demise!

’80s B-movies: Critics just don’t get ’em!

The term B-movie comes from the Golden Age of Hollywood (circa late 1920s-60s) which referred to the second, less publicised movie in a double-feature. The actors and actresses were less known, the budget was smaller and this generally meant the flick wasn’t as good. Since then the term has become associated with many others – cheesy, naff and god-awful to name a few. Particularly on the acting and SFX front horror ‘80s B-movies have become infamous for their…shall we say ropey production? Series like The Toxic Avenger take glee in it and many are good for little more than a laugh, but there are numerous titles from this grimier part of the film industry which are top drawer – I’m talking specifically ’80s B-movies here.

One of life’s great things is the ability to appreciate. You may not be a fan of what’s in question but you will still recognize quality. B-movies get a raw deal. They are slammed by critics as often as the nerd is bullied by the jock, but hypocrisy is at work!

Take a gander at some of the rotten reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and you will occasionally see critics admit that they are not even fans of the genre they’re scoring! When it comes to bashing B-movies it’s the same story. I even see the word disgusting being used in a negative context. That’s a compliment!

One of the biggest low-blows in history is the lack of appreciation for Lucio Fulci, that Italian gore hound of ‘80s fame. We know the acting’s not great and we know we’re going to get lots of bizarre eye close-ups, but when you strap yourself in for some bloody horror there are not too many boxes that need ticking. I think 1979’s Zombie has the most brilliantly rotted corpses you will see stumbling about plus a collection of unique death scenes while 1981’s The Beyond has tremendous atmosphere and cinematography. Classics in my book!

Someone Fulci was rumoured to have been jealous of was countryman Dario Argento and with good reason. His 1977 Suspiria received a lot more praise. I too think it deserves all the praise it gets but there is that familiar B-movie packaging which usually has them written off…? What it comes down to is how arty a film comes off as. With its psychedelic colours and more subtle approach (subtle compared to Fulci anyway) Suspiria is universally applauded.

Critics love metaphors and if there is room for interpretation they will adorn a film with all kinds of deeper meaning even if the director says otherwise (i.e. George A. Romero originally explaining that Dawn of The Dead’s location was picked purely because he thought it was cool – not because it was a metaphor for consumerism!)

This rule is easy to spot when you see how highly rated modern arty films are, ones that don’t have to make the least bit of sense. 2012’s Holy Motors was worth a watch (I don’t mind a bit of abstract) but to claim it to be an “unforgettable visual feast” is a hoot. Actually, you could spend a whole day laughing at the gushing praise it received as with each new positive review there was more pressure for critics to ‘get it’. Of course there is nothing to get because what’s good about the film changes from review to review!

So what’s the difference between an unashamedly gory death scene and point-blank randomness? The former takes skill! There is more craft in the rotted face of one Fulci Zombie (moulded by the talented hands of Gianetto De Rossi) than there is in the whole 115 minutes of Holy Motors. And there are even exceptions to the acting rule as I consider Joe Spinell’s deranged performance in 1980’s Maniac as one of the best I have seen in cinema, period.

Out-an-out grossness reached a peak in the exploitation era, in the likes of 1980’s Cannibal Holocaust which featured the tasteless death of animals, but take that away and you still have a powerful film that had a real life, documentary vibe to it. You still have the famous shot of that woman impaled on the post for which they were investigated because it looked real…

How’s that naff for ya?

Rides that scared you silly!

It’s such a vague memory I had to check with my older brother that it did actually happen in this world and not dreamland. A strange, green orb, that’s what I remember, circling it on a train. Everything is dark. You have no sense of what’s below. You’ve forgotten there is an outside. It felt like I was entering another world. At the beginning you’re addressed by this talking monster. Many years later I saw the ride stripped of its theming and learnt of how laughably tame the ride known as The Beast was in the UK’s now closed theme park, Camelot…but how strange it is to gaze at the rusted track when I recall how enchanted/scared my five-year-old self was.

A few years later I went to Alton Towers and had developed an embarrassing fear of the big coasters which would last well into my teens. The haunted House was tame enough. I knew it didn’t go upside down or fast. However, I had no idea just how creepy it would be. Before they ruined it and turned it into a shooting game it must have been one of the most atmospheric rides ever built. This was a house, not just a ride, and as you made your way to the trains there were some awesome touches – strange paintings that eyeballed you, a hologram of a little girl playing inside a doll house, and a slanted floor which made it feel like you were being pushed. A whiny violin track followed you around. Again my imagination was lit up. Eventually you make it to your car and wait for the lap bar to descend.

What followed was super awesome. Some of it was comedic (like a big ogre spinning round the corner to ask if you want a cup of tea) while some of it was poop-your-pants like these lit-up heads which screamed “EYEEERRRR!” just inches from you, but there was tons of variety, all perfectly cloaked by the dark. It was a fine example of a ride being a work of art.

It was not until very recently that I went on my first ghost walkthrough ride – The Walking Dead at Universal Studios. On the side of the building is a helicopter which has crashed into it. Straight away the theming was awesome and I was all smiles as blood-splattered employees attempted to grab me. Along the way were some pretty gruesome props such as suspended torsos twitching. It didn’t quite make the same impression The Beast did back in 1991 (I think I prefer ghost trains anyway) but it was cool nonetheless and if your job is to try and continually scare people throughout the day then I salute you!

If you have a story of your own feel free to share!

Alien Covenant: Mini Review

During a recent trip to America’s west coast I parked myself in one of their Century Theatre’s to watch Ridley Scott’s latest offering. I was looking forward to what may be a little special but was instantly preoccupied with how comfy this chair was! My last two cinema experiences in Merry Old England were not nice and so the fact I could control both the seat and footrest made me feel a little godlike.

Anyway, the trailers eventually ended and Alien Covenant started.

It’s the standard premise with a number of deep-sleeping crew members making their way to a distant world. A power fail causes for an early wake-up call, save for the other half of heroine Daniels (played by Katherine Waterson) who is burned alive inside his malfunctioning pod. As she continues to mope it’s hard to tell if it’s partly down to her awful mushroom hairdo, but they are soon urged to investigate the origin of a radio transmission.

Now this is probably were the most stupid thing happens in the film – they all enter this new planet without their helmets! Inevitably a couple of members are infected by these spores and fast-tracked to full chest-bursting. The spores are one of the very few nice touches in the film. There is simply not enough world building. The atmosphere is not thick enough. The bulk of the film concerns the relationship between the two droids (David 8 and Walter) both played by Michael Fassbender. You can’t fault the performance but the juxtaposition of the benign, duty-bound David and the feeling, crafty Walter sets the tone for a film that refuses to experiment. The ending may cause eyes to roll.

And so the Xenomorph itself. There are undoubtedly some nasty scenes here but I wasn’t really a fan of CGI back in Alien 3 and not much has changed. I don’t have too much of a problem for using it when moving quickly or far away, but when it comes to those close shots you can’t beat a juiced-up puppet. What, so you’re telling me the first time you see the alien fully grown back in 1979 is better than the close-up’s in this film? Yep! That’s what I’m telling you. As the ever curious Walter attempts to pacify a Neomorph (a juvenile Alien) after killing another crew member some of the menace is lost because you can see it’s made of code, not flesh.

Ultimately it all holds together and validates your purchase (especially when the seats are this comfy!) but it may be considered a disappointment for such a mighty franchise.

6/10

Death Scenes: Five of the Best

Frankenstein, 1931 (Child-Drowning)

Show this to a youngster and I’m sure they’d laugh. “Was that considered scary?” But what this old scene lacks in gore it more than makes up for in context. The innocence of little Maria, and the lack of understanding on the Monster’s behalf, turns a chance interaction into a mother’s worst nightmare. It also has the unique distinction of creating sympathy for the offender as he scurries of having learnt she did not float like the flowers.

Freaks, 1932 (Human Duck/Chicken)

Okay, so this is not technically a death scene. You could say it’s the death of one person and beginning of another. There is another problem here. The ‘freaks’ are in fact the heroes of this film – the ending registers as just retribution for the way Cleopatra and Hercules treated them. Even still, I feel the very last scene has great impact as the main story begins and ends with the sideshow barker, so when the camera finally pans down to see what’s inside the box, whether you believe what he just said or not, there is no denying the existence of this half woman, half-chicken thing which is pretty disturbing…even if she was an asshole.

Alien, 1979 (Chest-Bursting)

The late John Hurt had more than one memorable role on the big screen but there is no dispute when it comes to his most shocking. Alien’s chest-bursting scene is a masterclass in both disgusting an audience while introducing a monster. I think everyone has witnessed someone have a coughing fit when food or liquid went down the wrong pipe. Using that as a reference point this scene awfully unfolds with a great supporting cast who go from trying to help to freaking out. In particularly, Hurt’s whimpering as he begins to convulse is rather disturbing…and then the unforgettable crescendo.

Don’t touch it!

Zombie, 1979 (Eye-Splinter)

Every death scene in this film is memorable. That is why it’s one of the best zombie films ever made. Lucio Fulci’s offerings may appeal to a more select group of horror fans who can pardon cheesy acting but I defy any horror critic to dismiss the gore in this film. My choice for the standout scene will come as no surprise. Paola seems to have got some distance between herself and an uninvited guest banging away at a door, but that doesn’t stop a rotted arm smashing its way through, grabbing her hair and pulling her towards one of the splinters. Numerous shots between the splinter and her eye give you an idea of how this one is going to end and the coup de grace is a thing of beauty – one guaranteed to make you squint.

Ringu, 1998 (Ryūji didn’t make a copy)

Hideo Nakata’s The Ring or Ringu was an ingenious play on the fear of technology. It spawned a lot of rip-offs, particularly that aesthetic of girls with long, face-obscuring dark hair. A video tape, a phone call, seven days and then you die – it sounded pretty naff, something Scream-eqsue, but beneath the surface level is a moving backstory – domestic abuse, dead horses and scattered relatives. It had a genuine ‘real life case’ feel to it and the deeper the protagonists dig the more rumour becomes reality until poor Ryūji is home alone. And then Sadako comes for him, through the screen of his television and into his longue. No quick moves are needed, no yelling or bearing of teeth. Her creepy, slow advance perfectly communicates that it’s too late now.

Rambaldi: When SFX are too good

“There’s no question that these computer films are well packaged but the charm has disappeared…”­ – Carlo Rambaldi

The value of CGI is beyond dispute. There are innumerable things which practical effects are incapable of where CGI must step in. The additional expense and labour required for animatronics are two other good reasons for their shy presence today but I believe the paying public may have mistaken popularity which effectiveness.

As pliable as CGI is 99% of the time you can tell it’s computer generated. A reduction in light helps mask things but then you have to contend with movement which doesn’t always look right, isn’t properly effected by gravity. In cartoons and fantasies you can get away with those shortcomings because rules can be bent, but when you’re trying to replicate real life (gore for example) there are issues.

Trying to create disgust in the viewer is difficult when you can see it’s not tangible. The concept of bumping into or smelling something hideous is lost. Practical effects can still have a greater impact on screen, even when you can tell they’re fake because you can see it exists in this world – there’s an underlying reality to it which gives even the poorer efforts a better shot at being disgusting.

From the largest ever mechanical creature for a film in 1976’s King Kong to the animatronic wonder of 1982’s E.T. Italy’s Carlo Rambaldi was the master behind many universal monsters, but not everybody knows he holds the distinction of being the first special effects artist to have to prove his creations were not real in a court of law.

Lucio Fulci, cult B-movie director known for his excessive gore, teamed up with Rambaldi in his 1971 psychedelic murder mystery A Lizard in a Woman’s Skin. Halfway through this artistic slice of cinema comes the scene which had Fulci charged with animal cruelty. As Carol Hammond (played by Florinda Bolkan) is trying to get away from an attacker she tries to open many doors to flee. One of them does, but it’s not nice what she discovers…

Four small dogs suspended on this strange apparatus. All of their torsos have been cut open and yet they’re still alive (being sustained by some kind of blood flow via tubes). Cue whimpering noises and brilliantly realised hearts and lungs which undulate in a most lifelike manner. After getting a good eyeful Carol faints. Today this scene still holds up on blu-ray. It’s easy to see why a ’71 public would have been freaked out watching this at a grainy cinema.

The ugly yet friendly face of E.T. remains the front cover to Rambaldi’s life’s work, but somewhere in there is one of the great disturbing scenes, proving in one horrible moment the worth of practical effects and the breadth of his talent.

Has The Zombie Gone Stale?

It might just be waning now (I could be wrong) but over the last fifteen years the zombie has experienced a renaissance like no other monster. Starting with 2002’s 28 days Later and its fresh spin on the undead a newfound love quickly became universal. Films, TV series, games and books – they began to pop up in every format. Endless mileage seemed to be had from the old ‘outnumbered and infected’ dynamic which drives most zombie tales.

There can be no doubt. The dilemma of limited space and contrary opinions is what made 1968’s Night of The Living Dead such a ground-breaker (amongst other things), but as we have been inundated with all things zombie I feel the once dreaded brain-eater has been demoted to some kind of lovable trouble maker.

1932’s White Zombie is considered to be the first feature-length film about the undead. With Bela Lugosi playing a wizard-like character who can magic them from the ground it was not the set-up we’re used to. It must be said it wasn’t the best received film either but there was still that mystery surrounding animated corpses.

The Dead trilogy both invented and perfected what we now accept as classic mythology, though one aspect I feel it was soundly trumped in was visuals. Lucio Fulci’s 1979 Zombie II may have shamelessly lent the Italian name of Dawn of The Dead but it was its own film which boasted, in this writer’s opinion, the best looking zombies you’ll see anywhere – rotten, manky and very imposing – they were the stars of the show, romance took a backseat.

Fast-forward to The Walking Dead series and you will see the work of some highly talented make-up artists, though I would argue that they often get carried away with detail, and so ironically the zombies have a gloss about them which goes against the whole rotted flesh theme. Furthermore on the subject of acting there is something amiss. You’d be wrong to think playing a zombie is a braindead role (pun intended).

Sherman Howard’s performance as Bub in Day of The Dead is probably the Oscar-winner. There is a baby-like quality to the zombie which is difficult to fake. They’re detached, have zero self-consciousness and Sherman knocks it out of the park. The way his expressions melt into each other is brilliant. Perhaps the supreme example of this is the moment he realises the gun has no ammo after aiming it at Rhodes – from the awkward way he cocks it to the frustrated groan when it doesn’t shoot.

To compare such a nuanced performance to many of the fast zombie era it’s night and day. It’s too try hard from many of them – ‘now I’m being spooky’, ‘now I’m being angry’ – it’s easy to see the human under the make-up.

In terms of popularity there can be no doubt it has been a golden age for the zombie, but as their profile has been lifted to amazing heights the terror has subsided. It’s more about human drama than horrible death scenes. The zombie apocalypse now has a playground feel to it, one in which we enjoy asking each other “Where would you hide?” “What would you make your stronghold?”

In my ideal zombie flick there would be no such fantasying because in all likelihood, after you’re slowly cornered by a soulless corpse, your throat is getting ripped out.

Carnival of Souls (1962)

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