Ellen Gable's Blog, page 57

Four Foot Nine Is the Magic Number

Many years ago, James and I were watching the news and the commentator was talking about the new Ministry of Transportation rules here in Canada for children sitting in the front seat. “Children must be four feet nine and over to sit in the front seat.” The commentator went on to inform listeners that anyone who did not comply with the new rules would be slapped with an expensive fine. With new technologies and powerful air bags, it was obvious that the Ministry wanted to protect children. At the time, my height was (and still is) four feet nine inches tall (which I’m told is the average height of a ten year old).

I turned to my husband and said, “How do they expect me to drive from the back seat?” We laughed about it, then I realized, “Uh-oh. Maybe I’m not allowed to drive.” A quick call to the Ministry confirmed that it would not be against the law if I continued to drive, nor would I be given any fine. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Later, there was an ad campaign in the United States (see photo) saying that kids needed to be four feet nine or taller in order to be out of a booster seat. So when I saw this particular photo, I laughed out loud. Of course, I think it’s pretty neat that my height is a magic number.

It isn’t, of course, the magic number when I’m in the grocery store or a department store. Usually, at least once a week, it’s necessary for me to ask a kind tall person to reach something on a high shelf. Other than unreachable groceries, however, I enjoy being short, especially now that I’m older.

Copyright 2015 Ellen Gable Hrkach

With God…

SQT Friday – Busy Week Ahead

Please join me and other Catholic bloggers at This Ain’t the Lyceum for Seven Quick Takes Friday.

It’s been a busy month and is about to get busier!

1. World Meeting of Families

I am heading down to Philadelphia to attend the World Meeting of Families, then I’m planning to attend the Papal Mass on Sunday, September 27. I’ll be mostly in the Exhibit Hall at Booth 747, manning the Catholic Writers Guild Booth. Please pray for a safe trip for us and all the attendees and pilgrims! If you’re attending, stop by and say hello!

2. Stay With Me Kindle Edition Available for Pre-Order

Carolyn Astfalk’s novel, Stay With Me (Kindle Edition) is now available for pre-order. The print and Kindle editions will be available on October 1!

3. Stay With Me Novel Web Page

And take a look at the updated novel web page.

4. Fast4Francis

I’m participating in Fast4Francis, a fasting novena hosted by Live the Fast. Today is Day One! For more information, click here.

5. Instagram Page

I’m pretty new to Instagram, but if you’re on there, please follow me and I will usually follow back! I will be posting photos from the World Meeting of Families and other Papal activities.

6. Reading/Review/Book Shelf

Fast with the Heart – Fr. Slavko Barbaric

Word by Word: Slowing Down With The Hail Mary (Sarah Reinhard, editor) I contributed a story to this book! Now available for pre-order!

7. Man UP Cartoon

image copyright James and Ellen Hrkach (all rights reserved, please do not use without permission)

Skydiving and Letting Go! #TBT

The following is an article originally published in 2010, updated in 2015 and definitely illustrates how hard it is to “let go” when you’re a parent.



When my third son, Tim, was a toddler, his favorite book was Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman. In the story, the baby bird breaks out of his shell and his mother isn’t anywhere to be found. He journeys on a quest to find his mother, asking a dog, cow and various other animals and inanimate objects the question: “Are you my mother?” Eventually, mother and baby bird are reunited and they live happily ever after.

In the real world, a mother bird knows when it’s time for baby bird to leave the nest. For humans, the gradual letting go of mother and child takes place over many years. It begins the first time Dad takes his newborn son out for a car ride or Grandmom takes the baby for a walk in the stroller. The important thing for most parents is to allow this transition to take place and to not smother our children when it’s time to “let go.”

I have to admit, it’s hard for me to “let go.” Attachment parenting was a natural way to nurture my children and I enjoyed nursing them, carrying them, rocking them and simply being with them. Homeschooling was also a logical progression of this philosophy.

At around age three or so, our sons weaned. At varying ages, they stopped coming into our bed. Homeschooling eventually comes to an end. Part of the “letting go” process also means allowing them to make their own decisions in life.

In 2009, Tim (then 17, now 23) landed a “dream” job at the local parachuting club. A few weeks after he had started, Tim called from the club and calmly explained that his boss had shared with him that one of the perks of his job was free skydiving. So he asked if he could go skydiving, that afternoon – in about two hours, to be precise. I immediately dismissed the request, saying, “Tim, forget it. You’re not jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet.” I had spent the last 17 years of Tim’s life trying to protect him from danger, so why would I stop now?

“But, Mom,” he said, “I’ll have a parachute on and there’ll be an experienced jumper with me.” I hesitated, wanting to shout at him, “Are you crazy? Why would you want to jump out of an airplane?” But I didn’t. Instead, I said, “Couldn’t you just wait until another time?”

“Mom, today there are perfect conditions; it’s clear and there aren’t many tandem jumpers. They said I could do it today. Please.”

My husband, standing nearby, gently reminded me that in six months, our son would turn 18 and he’d be able to do it without our permission. I also thought about the fact that in a few short months, Tim would be old enough to join the armed forces and fight in battle (and possibly jump out of airplanes all the time). I sighed, then said, “We’ll be right there.”

Of course, since he was under 18, we had to sign papers consenting to his jumping out of an airplane at 10,000 feet, with another skydiver (tandem skydiving). Then we had to watch a video explaining what would be involved. Perhaps if I’d had a week or even a day to rethink the whole thing, I wouldn’t have agreed to it.

The instructor who made the tandem jump with Tim assured me that there were all kinds of backups and safety precautions: extra parachutes, an experienced jumper making the trip down with him, etc. But I was not happy about it. I prayed from the moment he stepped onto the airplane and continued praying. It was the longest — and I mean the longest — 20 minutes of my life. My hands were shaking and I don’t think I actually breathed until he stepped onto the ground.

When he was close to landing, we could hear him screaming. In that first half-second, my motherly instincts kicked in and I panicked. “Is he okay?” I frantically asked my husband, standing nearby. Then I heard loud hearty laughter from Tim, still in the air above us.

He finally landed and the bright and happy expression on his face said it all. He kept saying thank you to the tandem instructor. But what surprised me was when he said, “Thanks, Mom, for letting me do that.”

I nodded, now relieved and happy that he was safe.

He tapped me on the shoulder. “Can I do it again next week?”

updated: copyright 2015 Ellen Gable Hrkach

Catholic Writers Retreat

Do you need time away to finish or start a manuscript? Work on that proposal? Organize your writing project? Finish work to meet your editor’s deadline?

On October 25-29, 2015 the Catholic Writers Guild, for the third time, is offering a writers retreat near Lansing, Michigan. I will be there and I’m really looking forward to some uninterrupted writing time!

St. Francis Retreat and Conference Center, 703 E. Main Street, DeWitt, Michigan, is situated on a 93 acre site of woodlands, meadows, and prayer gardens.

$490 includes a private room with a single share bath, three meals a day (and all the coffee you can drink!), internet access, breakout spaces, resource library, three daily presenters, critique sessions, Mass and reconciliation.

The power of the Catholic Writers Guild is why we can keep the cost so low! This retreat, offered every other year, is popular because it is a true writers retreat offering you abundant time to work at writing, and time to critique with other Catholic writers.

You can register on line at http://www.stfrancis.ws/retreats.html, click on the Other Offerings tab. Or call 1-866-669-8321.

Handicap accessible and dietary needs accommodated.

If you fly into Lansing Capital Region International Airport, a shuttle to the retreat house—only seveb minutes away—is provided.

Retreat space is limited so register soon!

End of Summer News

Life has been busy, too busy, with my new job at Live the Fast, helping #4 son get ready for college (five hours away), and Catholic Writers Guild responsibilities. I haven’t had much time for writing or blogging, but hopefully, I will be able to write more fiction now that summer is over! So…what’s new?

1. Fast4Francis

Read more about Fast4Francis here at this link.

2. Thank you, Carolyn!

Special thanks to Carolyn Astfalk for including me in her list of favorite contemporary Catholic authors!

3. Stay With Me

FQP’s new novel, Stay With Me, by Carolyn Astfalk, will be available on October 1st. Watch the trailer:

4. World Meeting of Families

I will be attending the World Meeting of Families down in Philadelphia beginning September 22. I will be an exhibitor for the Catholic Writers Guild at Booth 747. If you’re attending, please stop by and say hello!

I will also be attending the Papal Mass on Sunday in Philly, along with my husband and sister!

5. Review Shelf

The Well by Stephanie Landsem

6. Stepping Down as President for CWG

Last week, I announced that I would be stepping down as president of the Catholic Writers Guild (effective November 30th). Three years as president, five years on the board. I will continue to be an active member, though!

6. Fertile Time Cartoon

Image copyright 2013 James and Ellen Hrkach (Please do not use without permission)

Live the Fast Welcomes the Holy Father with Fast4Francis

Contact: Darcie Nielsen

Assistant Director

(781) 647-0034

Darcie@livethefast.com

Waltham, MA (August 15, 2015) – Live the Fast, Inc., a non-profit organization that provides nutritious breads and educational materials to encourage prayer and fasting, has announced that it will lead a prayer and fasting novena for Pope Francis’s upcoming visit to the USA next month. Fast4Francis is an opportunity for participants to embrace the Pope’s visit as an invitation to a deeper faith life and to pray for his safe travel leading up to and throughout his visit to the USA.

Darcie Nielsen, Assistant Director of Live the Fast, says “Prayers (novenas) and fasting together are powerful tools used in preparation for important events. This is a proactive effort to stimulate a fervent environment of prayer and faith for our Holy Father’s visit.”

The Fast4Francis novena will take place September 18-26, the nine days leading up to the pope’s arrival in Philadelphia. Anyone from any faith may take part in the nine day fast. There are various tracks of fasting that participants can take part in. All tracks of fasting involve giving up certain foods, praying the prayers of the novena and taking part in a sacrament (like Holy Mass or Reconciliation). For example, Track 1 involves giving up coffee, Track 2, fasting from snacks and dessert, Track 3 involves skipping one meal, Tracks 4 and 5 bread and water fasts. Since prayer, fasting and almsgiving are inseparable, participants are invited to choose one of the Works of Mercy as well. Participants may also begin in one track and move to another or combine tracks during the nine day novena. For those who cannot fast, spending more time in prayer and/or going to adoration for the nine days is an ideal alternative. As well, fasting can also entail giving up social media or television.

Pope Francis has said, “Fasting makes sense if it really chips away at our security and, as a consequence, benefits someone else, if it helps us cultivate the style of the good Samaritan, who bent down to his brother in need and took care of him.”

In May 2013, Pope Francis consecrated the Vatican City State to St. Michael the Archangel “to defend us from the evil one.” So taking the Holy Father’s lead, this novena also calls upon the intercession of St. Michael the Archangel.

To sign up for Fast4Francis reminder emails and for more information, resources and prayers, check out the event’s website at www.fast4francis.org. Here you can read the prayers for the novena and learn about the different kinds of fasts.

For those interested in bread and water fasts (for Fast4Francis and for fasting throughout the year), fasting breads provided by Live the Fast are made with unbleached and untreated flour, with no additives and preservatives and with a variety of flavorful, nourishing ingredients that will help one maintain and finish a bread and water fast. Fasting kits also include prayer and fasting guides to aid a healthy fast.

NOTE: Live the Fast strongly urges you to consult your physician before beginning the practice of fasting.

About Live the Fast

The mission of Live the Fast is to encourage the practice of prayer and fasting by providing a variety of exceptional, all-natural, nutritious breads, along with educational resources and a support community that will inspire one to live the fast. Inspired by the words of the Blessed Mother at Medjugorje, the Live the Fast team ministers to share the spiritual and physical benefits of fasting while teaching how to do it safely and effectively. For more information: livethefast.org

Children: A Living Reflection

copyright Ellen Hrkach

My latest post from Catholic Mom is entitled Children: A Living Reflection

Thus the couple, while giving themselves to one another, give not just themselves but also the reality of children, who are a living reflection of their love, a permanent sign of conjugal unity and a living and inseparable synthesis of their being a father and a mother.” St. John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio (On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World)

Children are indeed a “living reflection…a living and inseparable synthesis” of a married couple’s love. This can be evident physically (as children often look like a combination of both parents), but is evident spiritually and emotionally as well.

It is also been said that the greatest gift you can give to your children is to love your spouse.

James and I have been blessed with five sons (now ages 16-28) but we have also faced the heartbreak of losing seven babies through miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy. Born or unborn, each of our 12 children is an unrepeatable and eternal sign, an outward expression, that we love one another.

This truth that children are a “living reflection” of a couple’s love was not something I fully appreciated until a trip to the beach many years ago.

It was a beautiful July evening and our sons (then ages 4-16) were running and playing in the sand, their laughter like sweet music to our ears. The sun was setting and the sky a brilliant pink and orange, reflecting off their bodies as they ran in the sand. Watching them, I had a ‘light bulb’ moment. “Those children exist because we love each other,” I whispered to my husband. James, ever wise, said, “And because God loves us. Pretty awesome, eh?”

Precisely because of the truth that “children are a living reflection of their love…a living and inseparable synthesis…” divorce can have a negative impact on the children (even adult children). While separation is sometimes a necessity if there is abuse, divorce is too often used because a couple “stops loving one another.” We all have a choice to love.

As a “permanent sign of conjugal unity,” a divorce can sometimes make a child feel like he is being torn in two directions. My husband, whose parents separated when he was 16, said that is exactly how it feels. So when we became engaged, James (only 18 at the time) said, “Ellie, are you sure you want to be married for the rest of your life? Because we will be together for life. We will never get a divorce. I do not want to put my kids through that.” Although we have experienced ups and downs, challenges and loss, we both know that divorce would never be an option.

A Catholic couple we know was facing divorce court. They had lived together before marriage and had used birth control for many years, eventually drifting apart. They had tried secular counseling, but it didn’t seem to work. Even before physical separation, some of their children had begun to show signs of depression and irritability. They agreed to sit down and speak with a priest. This priest urged them to try one more time, and he gave them books on Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. While this is a simplification of their story, they eventually rediscovered their love for one another and are now happily married. They still face challenges, but their love for one another is evident in their relationship with each other and their children.

It is awesome to experience the gift and wonder of new life, as children are indeed the illustration and reflection of a married couple’s love. This love for one another is the greatest gift you can give to your children.

My story of love, loss and conversion is the basis of my novel, Emily’s Hope, which is available on Kindle and in print.

Copyright 2015 Ellen Gable Hrkach

EWTN Bookmark – A Subtle Grace

Three members of the Catholic Writers Guild were interviewed by Doug Keck for EWTN’s Bookmark last year at the Catholic Marketing Network Trade Show near Chicago. I speak about my fifth book, A Subtle Grace. Ann Margaret Lewis speaks about her book, The Watson Chronicles and Margaret Realy talks about her Catholic gardening books.

New Job at Live the Fast

I’m happy to announce that I am now working part-time for Live the Fast, a non-profit Catholic organization that promotes prayer and fasting! Andy LaVallee is the founder of Live the Fast and author of From the Hub to the Heart (which I edited.)

copyright Ellen Hrkach