Ellen Gable's Blog, page 26
March 13, 2019
Strengthen Your Lenten Journey Through #Fasting
When you hear the word “fasting,” do you automatically cringe? Do you dread Ash Wednesday or Good Friday? Or do you embrace the self-denial of fasting on those days? If you’re like most people, you might not look forward to Ash Wednesday or Good Friday, the Church’s compulsory days of fasting. However, when you become accustomed to the regular practice of fasting throughout the year, these “compulsory” days are opportunities for abundant graces and spiritual growth.
Many people mistakenly believe that fasting belongs only in the Penitential Season of Lent. However, the regular self-denial of fasting is a positive and generous act that we can do all year round. After all, Jesus fasted — and He fasted before every major event in His life — and His apostles fasted. In Scripture, fasting is mentioned numerous times in both the Old Testament and the New Testament.
“When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.” Matthew 6:16-18
“But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up. After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, ‘Why couldn’t we drive it (demon) out?’ He replied, ‘This kind can come out only by prayer and fasting.’” Mark 9:27-29
Peter said to Jesus, “You have the words of eternal life.” John 6:68
Eternal life…isn’t that our goal? How do we get there? A virtuous life, one that is sacrificial, one that is obedient to God’s laws, this is the way to eternal life. Lent is an ideal time to embrace the practice of fasting. And not just on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday! Fasting can happen on every Wednesday and Friday throughout the year. The regular self-denial of fasting is definitely one of the ways to get to heaven and eternal life. Why?
Fasting opens our hearts to conversion, gives weight to our prayer intentions. Fasting strengthens us in resisting temptations, promotes peace in our hearts and peace with one another. Fasting teaches us the difference between wanting and needing. Fasting reminds us of the plight of the poor and those who are perpetually hungry. Fasting and prayer can free us from addictive behavior. Fasting invites the Holy Spirit in to heal our hearts, our relationship with God and our relationship with others. Fr. Slavko Barbaric said, “Fasting will lead us to a new freedom of heart and mind.”
St. Jean Vianney once said, “The devil is not greatly afraid of the discipline and other instruments of penance. That which beats him is the curtailment of one’s food, drink and sleep. There is nothing the devil fears more, consequently, nothing is more pleasing to God.”
I usually try to follow the Ash Wednesday/Good Friday rules for fasting. I eat two small meals and one larger meal that is equal to the two smaller meals together (and no meat, of course.)
There are so many great reasons to fast and Lent is an ideal time to begin this regular practice of self-denial. For the elderly and those who cannot fast from food, they can fast from TV, social networking, treats or coffee on Wednesday and Friday.
Lent is a time for change and sacrifice. If you can do penitential acts during Lent, you can do them all year round! To get started with fasting, please check out the graphic below. And always check with your physician before beginning any fasting routine.
March 9, 2019
In Memory of My Sister, Diane
Sisters 2018 L to R: Diane, me and Laurie
My sister, Diane, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly two days ago at the young age of 62. I’m in shock and still trying to process the news. She had health issues, but she was still working full-time.
One of the ways I handle grief is to keep busy. I’ve been looking through old photo albums searching for photos for Diane’s slide show to be shown at her wake.
Of course, as a writer, the other way I deal with grief is to write.
Diane was the second child and first daughter of my parents. She was also a Christmas present. Born six weeks early on December 24, 1956, she weighed 3 lbs, 15 oz. My brother Mike was only 11 months old when my sister was born. When the doctor delivered my sister, he said, “I can’t believe it! Two tax exemptions in one year!”
Like most sisters/siblings, we had our good times and bad times. We fought and made up too many times to count, but in these last ten years, we’ve had a closer relationship than ever, talking on the phone for an hour at a time every few weeks and emailing and texting frequently.
Here are some of my favorite memories and little-known facts about my sister:
When we were small children and Mom put us to bed, we would stay awake and play games like “You Don’t Say” and other guessing games. Often Mom would have to tell us to “Be quiet and go to sleep.”
One time when we were about ten and twelve, Di and I sneaked down to the Christmas tree in the living room before everyone else was awake to see what “Santa” had left.
Diane would give me hints about what she bought me for Christmas. And every year, I’d be surprised because the hints she gave me were only to distract me from guessing what the real gift was. You’d think after several years I would have caught on, but I never did and I was always surprised.
1971: Diane and my brother Frank found and broke into my diary. They proceeded to mark each entry. If their name was in the entry, they gave it a good mark. Otherwise, there were a lot of F’s. If I had to be honest, the entries were quite boring, talking about what grades I got in this or that subject. We laughed about it for years. And… I still have the diary with all the notations.
1975: We had a bad argument when we were teenagers. I don’t even remember what it was about. She was so angry that she proceeded to dump a glass of vegetable juice over my head. I was shocked that she had done it, but then we both started laughing. I asked her, “Do you feel better now?” She responded, “Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do.” That was another memory we laughed about for years.
1976: Di asked me to buy her some perfume when I went to France on a school trip. I bought L’Interdit and she liked it so much, she continued using it for many years until it was discontinued. She gave me a old container of it years ago and whenever I smell that scent, I think of her.
An entry from my diary in 1977: “Shopping with Diane is like putting yourself in front of a firing squad. She must’ve tried on 30 different pieces of clothing in ten different stores and didn’t end up buying anything!” (I’m not a patient shopper!)
1978: I was babysitting my cousin Eleanor’s daughter and my sister kept calling, but was quiet except for breathing. I suspected it was her, but she never answered. I was trembling with fear and about to call the police. Finally, she called and laughed. I was so glad it was her (and not a psychotic stalker) that I also laughed about it.
In recent years, she had developed emphysema so she depended on kind people to help her. She kept a stash of small angel pins to give to those who helped her. She would tell them, “You’re my angel.”
Two years ago, she recommended the TV show Blue Bloods and happened to own the first two seasons and asked if I wanted to borrow them. I did, and I was hooked. I wound up purchasing the next few seasons and now watch that program regularly.
She also recommended a movie called “Lars and the Real Girl.” When she told me the premise (a delusional young man strikes up an unconventional relationship with a doll he finds on the Internet), I told her I didn’t think I’d like it. She said, “Trust me. You’ll like it.” And, well, I did. I would even say it’s up there among my top 100 movies. Excellent script, story and acting. I’ll miss her future recommendations.
We both loved the rice pudding from The Meadows Diner in Blackwood, New Jersey. Every time I visited, I would bring her some (and enjoy some for myself!)
During our last conversation a few weeks ago, she shared with me that she hoped to come up to Canada for our first grandchild’s christening in the summer. She told me that I would love being a grandmother because she loved being a Mom Mom to Lanna. We talked about grandmother names that I might want to use. The last words we said to each other were, “I love you.”
I already miss her. And I wish I could’ve said goodbye to her. I know I’ll see her again someday and the reunion will be a joyous one.
Requiescat in pace, Diane.
May the choirs of angels come to greet you.
May they speed you to paradise.
May the Lord enfold you in His mercy.
May you find eternal life. Amen.
December 24, 1956 – March 7, 2019
A memorial fund has been created in Diane’s name/memory to provide for her granddaughter, Lanna’s, education. If you would like to contribute, here is the link.
Her obituary is here:
[image error]
1961 L to R Mike, Diane, Frank, Ellen
[image error]
1963: My sister (right) and me
[image error]
Diane’s First Communion 1964
[image error]
1978
[image error]
At my wedding, my sister (right) was the maid of honor
[image error]
1987. After my youngest sister (Laurie) was born in 1981, we became five siblings! (L to R, Mike, Diane, Laurie, me, Frank)
March 8, 2019
Fasting, Peace and Forgiveness
Copyright Josh Hrkach, used with permission
Lent is a time of change and sacrifice. In his Lenten Message of 2009, Pope Benedict XVI said, “The faithful practice of fasting contributes, moreover, to conferring unity to the whole person, body and soul, helping to avoid sin and grow in intimacy with the Lord.”
As we approach Lent this year, perhaps we can take some time to consider the spiritual practice of fasting and how it can cultivate peace in our hearts.
Everyone wants peace: no wars, no terrorism, no slavery, no abortion, no oppression. However, when we start arguing with someone about an insignificant topic, or when we don’t want to admit we’re wrong, or when we have a hard time forgiving someone, it can be difficult to find that peace within ourselves.
How can we foster this peace in our hearts?
Regular fasting (together with prayer) cultivates peace in our hearts. Fasting invites the Holy Spirit in to heal our hearts, our relationship with God, and our relationship with others. Fasting helps us to be selfless instead of selfish.
Let’s take for example, forgiving someone. We are all called to be merciful and forgive those who have hurt or offended us.
But what if the offense is grievous? Say, like torture, abuse, rape, or murder? And what if the person we must forgive is not repentant?
“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Jesus didn’t give any exceptions to this rule. We will be forgiven as we forgive those who trespass against us. We are still called to be merciful and to forgive regardless of the offense. We are all called to have peace in our hearts. Forgiveness and showing mercy to others helps heal our hearts and souls. However, forgiving someone, especially those who have grievously harmed us, is not easy and it is impossible without God’s grace. Fasting opens our hearts to this beautiful grace and peace.
Throughout my life, a relative of mine was verbally abusive to me and to others in our family. Eventually, she was diagnosed with a mental illness and, with medication, she was able to stop being verbally abusive. When she got older and began exhibiting signs of dementia, however, it seemed like she was falling back into her former caustic, abusive self. I had thought that I had forgiven her but realized that I never did forgive her for all the cruel things she had said and done to me. At that point, I had already been fasting for several months, and my confessor suggested that I fast and pray for this relative to help me to forgive her. So I fasted and prayed for her and eventually, I realized that I had been given the grace to forgive her and to speak about and treat her with the utmost love and kindness. I don’t think I could have done that without praying and fasting for her.
Lent is a time of change and sacrifice. Fasting and prayer together will help to cultivate peace and forgiveness in our hearts. Fasting will invite the Holy Spirit in to heal our hearts, our relationship with God and our relationship with others.
Fasting is not an easy practice with our society’s current tendency to overindulge. However, if you can do penitential acts during Lent, if you can fast during Lent, then you can fast all year round!
What I try to do throughout the year is to fast on Wednesdays and Fridays (using the Ash Wednesday/Good Friday fast of no meat and eating two small meals, then one meal that is no larger than the two small meals combined). I’m 59 years old, so fasting is not obligatory for me, but I fast because I’ve experienced many great spiritual, emotional, and physical benefits.
Always check with your physician before beginning any fasting routine.
Copyright 2019 Ellen Gable Hrkach
March 6, 2019
Open Book – March #openbook
[image error]
I’m joining with Carolyn Astfalk and Catholic Mom for Open Book! Here’s what I’ve been reading for the past month! It’s Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent!
[image error]
Memoir of Converting from Exhausted Atheist to Joyful Christian.
by Paul Keough
Amazon Synopsis: Warning to the hate-crime police: this memoir is not politically correct. What it is, though, is a story very appropriate for Valentine’s Day. It is a story of searching for truth and falling in love with something greater than oneself, greater than humanity, greater than nature, the world and the universe. Paul quickly realized – even as an atheist – that there is no point in trying to make everyone like you. No matter what position you take, there will always be someone on the opposite side of that opinion. Given that, we might as well pursue the truth and do what we think is right, correct?
Truth reveals itself as seen here in these three strange occurrences that challenged his concept of truth:
1. How does an atheist scientist end up married with several children? Is not the world overpopulating from the totalitarian perspective? If that is true, wouldn’t having several children be irresponsible? Why would a trained doctoral scientist from a top university do such a thing? Was he not shocked when he found scientists, business leaders, doctors, scientists, engineers and other intelligent rational professionals were having more than two children?
2. How does a Wall Street analyst in New York City, often considered the center and top of the world, voluntarily leave Wall Street when there was more and more money to be made? Had he lost his marbles? What could be better than making a ton of money? But then we look around and see that most Wall Street professionals do leave Wall Street on average about four years after starting… so the fact that Paul lasted twice that time also seems unlikely.
3. Why would a nerdy science geek break up with a handsome woman who comes from wealth? As an atheist, why would it matter that she claimed to be a witch? If there was no such thing as a witch, or anything like that, why care about any label she gave herself? Except … was there trouble coming from being with a person claiming to be a witch?
My review: Paul Keough has written a compelling memoir of his journey from atheist to Catholic Christian. The eighth of twelve children, his sometimes mentally unstable (Catholic) mother and abusive non-Catholic father made his early life difficult. Often retreating to the safety of his imagination, Keough’s dysfunctional family was not unlike many families. His religious upbringing was limited to a very brief stint at a Catholic school and CCD. Eventually, he chose not to continue practicing any faith and, by age 16, he had embraced atheism. The author takes us on a step-by-step journey from his childhood, college years and young adult life to his years on Wall Street, to his eventual conversion. Recently published, this book is an ideal gift to those friends, relatives and acquaintances who may be dabbling with atheism. Highly recommend.
[image error]
by Roberto Italo Zanini
Amazon Synopsis: In 1948 Aurora Marin arrives with her family at the convent of the Canossian Sisters of Schio, Italy, where Sister Bakhita has just died. Aurora was hoping to see her before she died. She gathers her children around the picture of Bakhita and tells them of the incredible life of the woman that had raised her as her nanny.
Born in a village in Sudan, kidnapped by slavers, often beaten and abused, and later sold to Federico Marin, a Venetian merchant, Bakhita then came to Italy and became the nanny servant of Federico’s daughter, Aurora, who had lost her mother at birth. She is treated as an outcast by the peasants and the other servants due to her black skin and African background, but Bakhita is kind and generous to others. Bakhita gradually comes closer to God with the help of the kind village priest, and embraces the Catholic faith.
She requests to join the order of Canossian sisters, but Marin doesn’t want to give her up as his servant, treating her almost as his property. This leads to a moving court case that raised an uproar which impacts Bakhita’s freedom and ultimate decision to become a nun. Pope John Paul II declared her a saint in the year 2000.
My review: I’m not quite finished reading this book, but I’ve been inspired by its contents, and especially the dictated entries of Saint Josephine Bakhita to one of her fellow sisters. Her story is one of great suffering and yet she shares her horrific journey with no sense of embellishment or exaggeration. The strength of this book is in these entries, although the story behind the story is interesting too. Highly recommend.
[image error]
Poor Banished Children by Fiorella de Maria
Amazon Synopsis: An explosion is heard off the coast of seventeenth-century England, and a woman washes up on the shore. She is barely alive and does not speak English, but she asks for a priest . . . in Latin.
She has a confession to make and a story to tell, but who is she and from where has she come?
Cast out of her superstitious, Maltese family, Warda turns to begging and stealing until she is fostered by an understanding Catholic priest who teaches her the art of healing. Her willful nature and hard-earned independence make her unfit for marriage, and so the good priest sends Warda to serve an anchorite, in the hope that his protégé will discern a religious vocation.
Such a calling Warda never has the opportunity to hear. Barbary pirates raid her village, capture her and sell her into slavery in Muslim North Africa. In the merciless land of Warda’s captivity, her wits, nerve, and self-respect are tested daily, as she struggles to survive without submitting to total and permanent enslavement. As she is slowly worn down by the brutality of her circumstances, she comes to believe that God has abandoned her and falls into despair, hatred, and a pattern of behavior which, ironically, mirrors that of her masters.
Poor Banished Children is the tale of one woman’s relentless search for freedom and redemption. The historical novel raises challenging questions about the nature of courage, free will, and ultimately salvation.
My review: This is on my To-Read shelf.
February 28, 2019
Into Glorious Light by Paul Keough
Into Glorious Light: My Memoir of Converting from Exhausted Atheist to Joyful Christian is [image error]a newly-published book by Paul Keough. The author has been interviewed on numerous television programs and blog casts.
Below is an excerpt of Keough’s interview on The Journey Home. When asked about the moment he wanted to be atheist, Keough answered:
Keough: So in college, I did a variety of things I regret. I delved into pleasures. And I did get a counselor because I was very confused about my maternal and paternal background. And when I described a lot of things in detail, he said, “You have to accept that your father isn’t interested in you and doesn’t want to know you and wants to carry out his own life.” That’s what he concluded, the counselor. I thought, “Oh, that hurts.” But I also thought, if that’s the case, then maybe the purpose of life is just selfishness. That’s all there is. Simply I exist and I’m going to die, so I need to grab a hold of as much pleasure as I possibly can in this short life and do as much as I can for myself as I came to conclude, right or wrong, that my father had done for himself. And when I came home one summer from undergraduate, that was very much confirmed as my father left my mother, started riding a motorcycle, a mid-life crisis or something, and started dating a nurse and soon after that, were divorced…so that even further ingrained in my mind the idea that, well, he’s doing whatever he wants and he’s the only role model that I — I guess didn’t — have. So I guess that’s what I’m supposed to do.
Grodi: So you and your advisor were touching on this issue of you keep trying, because you believed there’s an answer in nature and that’s what he was saying, keep trying. There’s order and there’s purpose in the world or the atheist in you in which there’s no logical reason for there to be order or purpose. That’s what was going on, it seems like, inside of you.
Keough: That’s right. That’s right. And I started to notice there were a number of these Christians who were logical and rational and who were succeeding, just as you said and that really puzzled me. They should’ve failed…but they were succeeding in great numbers. So I met a physician, who was a science writer and he’s Christian and I really looked up to him on the level of his writing ability, his knowledge and skills, a brilliant man…he said, why don’t you come to the Church of Christ…so I started going to the Church of Christ. And I met wonderful Christians that I’m grateful for to this day who had a great love for Jesus and loved me in a way I think I hadn’t seen before, not just the love that my mom showed, but the knowledge, they could describe to me why they were Christian, what it was about being a Christian that made them different and why they chose it. And I wanted that.
To watch the entire Journey Home episode, click here.
February 22, 2019
Into Glorious Light by Paul Keough #review
[image error]
Into Glorious Light: My Memoir of Converting from Exhausted Atheist to Joyful Christian is the conversion story of Paul Keough.
Synopsis: Truth reveals itself as seen here in these three strange occurrences that challenged his concept of truth:
1. How does an atheist scientist end up married with several children? Is not the world overpopulating from the totalitarian perspective? If that is true, wouldn’t having several children be irresponsible? Why would a trained doctoral scientist from a top university do such a thing? Was he not shocked when he found scientists, business leaders, doctors, scientists, engineers and other intelligent rational professionals were having more than two children?
2. How does a Wall Street analyst in New York City, often considered the center and top of the world, voluntarily leave Wall Street when there was more and more money to be made? Had he lost his marbles? What could be better than making a ton of money? But then we look around and see that most Wall Street professionals do leave Wall Street on average about four years after starting… so the fact that Paul lasted twice that time also seems unlikely.
3. Why would a nerdy science geek break up with a handsome woman who comes from wealth? As an atheist, why would it matter that she claimed to be a witch? If there was no such thing as a witch, or anything like that, why care about any label she gave herself? Except … was there trouble coming from being with a person claiming to be a witch?
My review: Paul Keough has written a compelling memoir of his journey from atheist to Catholic Christian. The eighth of twelve children, his sometimes mentally unstable (Catholic) mother and abusive non-Catholic father made his early life difficult. Often retreating to the safety of his imagination, Keough’s dysfunctional family was not unlike many families. His religious upbringing was limited to a very brief stint at a Catholic school and CCD. Eventually, he chose not to continue practicing any faith and, by age 16, he had embraced atheism. The author takes us on a step-by-step journey from his childhood, college years and young adult life to his years on Wall Street, to his eventual conversion. Recently published, this book is an ideal gift to those friends, relatives and acquaintances who may be dabbling with atheism. Highly recommend.
Purchase the Kindle edition here, and the print edition here.
February 19, 2019
Julia’s Gifts Only .99 on #Kindle LTO
My book, Julia’s Gifts, is for sale on on Kindle is on sale for .99 from today until Thursday at eleven a.m.
[image error]
As a young girl, Julia began buying gifts for her future spouse, a man whose likeness and personality she has conjured up in her mind, a man she calls her “beloved.” Soon after the United States enters the Great War, Julia impulsively volunteers as a medical aid worker, with no experience or training. Disheartened by the realities of war, will Julia abandon the pursuit of her beloved? Will her naïve ‘gift scheme’ distract her from recognizing her true “Great Love?” From Philadelphia to war-torn France, follow Julia as she transitions from unworldly young woman to compassionate volunteer.
Reviews:
“Touching story of faith and devotion that is sure to leave a lasting impression.” Therese Heckenkamp, award-winning author
“Filled with fascinating historical detail and a reminder that love never fails and that miracles – great and small – happen all around us.” Carolyn Astfalk, award-winning author
“Touched my heart in many ways.” Theresa Linden, award-winning author
“A romantic drama that unfolds far from home—but takes us to the heart of home along the way.” A.K. Frailey, author
“Outstanding and unforgettable book.” Jean Heimann, author, Fatima: The Apparition that Changed the World
To get your discounted ebook, click here.
February 15, 2019
Stealing Jenny French edition
Stealing Jenny, French translation is now complete and will be available in a few weeks! Check back for links and other information![image error]
February 14, 2019
Into Glorious Light by Paul Keough
[image error]Today is the official release day for Into Glorious Light: My Memoir of Converting From Exhausted Atheist to Joyful Christian.
Amazon Synopsis: Warning to the hate-crime police: this memoir is not politically correct. What it is, though, is a story very appropriate for Valentine’s Day. It is a story of searching for truth and falling in love with something greater than oneself, greater than humanity, greater than nature, the world and the universe. Paul quickly realized – even as an atheist – that there is no point in trying to make everyone like you. No matter what position you take, there will always be someone on the opposite side of that opinion. Given that, we might as well pursue the truth and do what we think is right, correct?
Truth reveals itself as seen here in these three strange occurrences that challenged his concept of truth:
1. How does an atheist scientist end up married with several children? Is not the world overpopulating from the totalitarian perspective? If that is true, wouldn’t having several children be irresponsible? Why would a trained doctoral scientist from a top university do such a thing? Was he not shocked when he found scientists, business leaders, doctors, scientists, engineers and other intelligent rational professionals were having more than two children?
2. How does a Wall Street analyst in New York City, often considered the center and top of the world, voluntarily leave Wall Street when there was more and more money to be made? Had he lost his marbles? What could be better than making a ton of money? But then we look around and see that most Wall Street professionals do leave Wall Street on average about four years after starting… so the fact that Paul lasted twice that time also seems unlikely.
3. Why would a nerdy science geek break up with a handsome woman who comes from wealth? As an atheist, why would it matter that she claimed to be a witch? If there was no such thing as a witch, or anything like that, why care about any label she gave herself? Except … was there trouble coming from being with a person claiming to be a witch?
Purchase the ebook here.
Purchase the paperback here.
Author Biography
Dr. Paul Keough holds an MBA in Finance from the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business and a Ph.D. in Health Sciences from Northwestern University. Paul is a practicing Catholic husband and father of six children who attend Catholic schools in the western suburbs of Chicago. In his free time, Paul enjoys playing chess and stays active by biking, swimming, playing basketball and tennis and working out with his family and friends.
Career-wise, Paul initially worked on Wall Street with high-profile investors, but then Dr. Keough soon realized his true passion was for helping individuals and their families on Main Street grow their retirement funds. Paul left Wall Street to help the average Joe and Jane on Main Street. Dr Keough brought with him the same experiences and knowledge that he used to research investments for the affluent. Since then, Paul has remained focused on helping his clients work toward their retirement dreams.
Dr. Keough has been recognized for his dedication to clients and featured in the media, most notably, on EWTN’s The Journey Home that aired January 2016:
or heard him speak on Dan Cheely’s Relevant Radio Show in April 2016:
Recently in December 2017, Paul was interviewed by the podcast SeizeYourBusiness.com as episode 132: “The Information War & Emotional Finance:”
Also, on Dec 22nd of 2018, Paul was interviewed on Montréal CAN Radio Blog:
Paul is currently the Principal and Chief Compliance Officer (CCO) of Turnkeough Wealth Management, Inc., where he supervises all activities of the firm. Paul adheres to applicable regulatory requirements, together with all policies and procedures outlined in the firm’s code of ethics and compliance manual. He holds a Series 65 securities license and earned his health and life insurance license in multiple states throughout the United States.
Turnkeough Wealth Management, Inc. is a Registered Investment Advisor Firm with trades executed through Pershing LLC, Member FINRA, NFA & SIPC. Our disclosures are that past performance is not indicative of future performance and all proforma activities including forecasts are forward-looking estimates and are not guarantees of performance. Any risk mitigation is partial, some risks always remain, and risks are usually proportional to potential return regardless of mitigations.
The approach at Turnkeough is unusual for a wealth management firm. First, they have a mission statement to provide comprehensive life planning. When Paul meets with investors, he asks over 300 questions in three hours in these areas: investments, insurance, estate, education, debt, retirement, legal, tax, real estate, career, marriage, spiritual, family and legacy planning.
Their holistic approach is designed to build confidence and comfort. Their goal is to be a good and loyal servant to each of their clients, offering to help with both their clients’ communities’ long-term benefit and the benefit of the clients’ loved ones. The firm is resolutely committed to serving Christians and Jews by providing honest, caring, and thoughtful professional services. They hold seriously the higher standards of always telling the truth, providing flawless service, minimizing costs, while providing top notch services with kindness and a smile.
The firm abides by compliance, record-keeping, and regulations, manages and tracks performance and results. But also, they hold themselves to a higher standard. The firm has an ethical board of directors composed of non-voting religious persons.
Turnkeough also tithes and gives to various not-for-profit causes all over the world. “We encourage our team to give and when I’m asked how much I say give, give, give until it hurts and then give some more.”
The firm is also very competitive with other financial firms by offerings services where client goals come first always, by seeking alpha (return above market return), keeping costs low using trading methods, providing real attention and real analysis, without automated robots with the goal of exceeding their clients’ expectations.
For further information, please contact Dr. Keough at: paul.keough(at)turnkeough (dot) (com).
February 13, 2019
Intimate Preparations #ValentinesDay
[image error]February is the month of Valentine’s Day, so below is a reprint of an article I originally wrote for Catholic Mom and Amazing Catechists years ago.
“And so I take (my wife) not for any lustful motive, but I do it in singleness of heart. Be kind enough to…bring us to old age together.” Tobit 8:7
“..Now, gird up your loins and arise…” Jer: 1:17
Which scripture verse more accurately describes how a couple should prepare for the conjugal embrace? Praying for a singleness of heart, without lustful motive…or girding up one’s loins for “war”?
Yet many couples prepare for intimacy by “girding up their loins:” wearing condoms, inserting diaphragms, taking a pill, putting on a patch, having an IUD inserted, undergoing an operation. It seems to me that these couples are preparing more for “war” than for the marital embrace, “protecting” themselves against unwanted pregnancy, “protecting” themselves against their spouse’s fertility.
Compare that to the couples who do not use contraceptives. They are generous in opening their marriage to children, and when necessary, they use Natural Family Planning and abstain in the fertile time. They’re not girding up their loins; they’re not “protecting” each other from an unwanted pregnancy. When they give of themselves in the marital act, it is a total gift, not a partial one.
The question is: How do you prepare for intimacy?
Some might answer, “We watch porn.” Others may say, “I make sure my diaphragm is in place,” or “We keep a packet of condoms by the bed.”
And yet…are these really appropriate ways for a couple to prepare for the most intimate act between husband and wife?
Obviously not.
So how can a couple prepare? Here is a short list of helpful ways:
1. Pray Together
Marital prayer is an ideal way to prepare for intimacy. When marital prayer is frequent, praying before relations becomes a logical extension. The conjugal embrace is itself a prayer. Let’s review what makes this act so holy and meaningful. In the marital embrace, with their bodies, husband and wife renew their wedding vows. Becoming one with our beloved spouse is the ultimate spiritual, physical and emotional experience. We become one flesh…so much so that sometimes, nine months later, we must give the representation of that oneness a name.
2. Throw Away the Contraception
No, I’m not asking couples to have as many children as possible. But what I am saying is that for the conjugal embrace to be honest and life-giving, it must be free, total, faithful and fruitful. Natural Family Planning allows a couple to love each other as God loves: freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully. NFP couples chart the wife’s fertility signs and, if avoiding pregnancy, abstain in the fertile time. They are not using devices; they are giving themselves fully and they are open to children with each and every act of marital relations. See my previous post on the Theology of the Body in a Nutshell. For more information on NFP, check out my previous post on NFP.
3. Healthy Relationship
I know a few couples who fight constantly. These same couples brag that they have a great sex life. Well, they may have a lot of “good feelings” but when a couple is not getting along in their day-to-day life, sex, even ‘good’ sex, is not going to fix that. What about the husband who treats his wife in a condescending, critical manner, then expects her to be ready and willing to engage in the marital embrace…or a wife who constantly nags her husband, then wants him to be affectionate to her? Communicate with one another; treat each other with kindness, respect and love.
4. No Pornography
Some secular marriage counselors recommend that a couple use porn to “spice up their sex life.” Instead of “enhancing” a marital sex life, viewing sexually explicit videos has the potential of destroying a marriage. Blessed John Paul II said: “…the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little.” Porn trains people to be selfish about their sexuality, not selfless. It teaches them to think about sex as something they take, not something they give. Any behavior that causes a person to be self-centered or selfish is never good for marriage. And…pornography can be highly addictive. Mary Anne Layden, co-director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at the University of PA’s Center for Cognitive Therapy, called porn the “most concerning thing to psychological health that I know of existing today….pornography addicts have a more difficult time recovering from their addiction than cocaine addicts, since coke users can get the drug out of their system, but pornographic images stay in the brain forever.”
5. Single Candle Light
I enjoy romantic, candlelit dinners with my husband. Well, why not a candlelit conjugal embrace? In the 15th century, it was common for painters to place one solitary lit candle in their paintings to symbolize the presence of Christ. If you have small children or might fall asleep too quickly afterwards, perhaps you can use an electric candle/light…or set an alarm…but be prudent. A simple, solitary light can bring more symbolism to your intimacy. And…it can help put you both in the “mood.”
6. Focus on Your Spouse
“Intense love does not measure; it just gives.” This quote from Blessed Mother Teresa is an ideal quote for marriage. Marriage isn’t all about “me.” It’s about “us.” What are your spouse’s needs? Think of his/her needs in all facets of your relationship. Intimate ‘memos’ bring a couple closer. Notes in your spouse’s lunch, special messages left on his workbench or on her desk, daily texts are all ways to intimately connect during the day and let your spouse know you are thinking of him/her. The important thing is to focus on the other in all things and when it comes time for the marital embrace, this selflessness will follow naturally.
7. We Can Work It Out
When you consider all the day-to-day challenges like children, work, fatigue, family bed, stress and sickness, it’s often a miracle that a couple has the time to engage in marital intimacy at all. The spontaneity of early marriage eventually gives way to planning for intimacy. “Family bed?” Consider another location for the marital embrace. Mom too tired? Perhaps Dad can take the kids out to the park while Mom gets a well-deserved rest after dinner. Dad too stressed? Mom can have a hot relaxing bath waiting for Dad when he arrives home.
Do you want to prepare for the holiest, most satisfying intimate experience possible? Treat your spouse with respect, pray together, focus on your spouse, don’t use porn and be creative in finding time for intimacy.
I’ve made the Kindle edition of my book, Come My Beloved: Inspiring Stories of Catholic Courtship only .99 for the entire month of February. To download your copy, click here.
