Renee Kinlaw's Blog, page 3

All I Ever Needed

I wanted to share a little excerpt from my new Bible Study--Baggage and All. This story is entitled--All I Ever NeededDay OneShe wiped her sweating brow once more and pulled her veil forward enough to shield her eyes from the glaring sun. Grimacing, she lofted the cumbersome waterpot back onto her shoulder. How she loathed the journey to this well. Each step was a constant reminder of who she was and how far she had walked away from the girl she had been raised to be. Even now the bitter truth still cut her like a knife. She wasn’t like the rest of the women in her town. She was an outcast. Just plain old trash. She had no real friends—no one to care about her except herself and most days she didn’t care either. If only she could go back and change things. If only she could go back to those carefree days before her life got so out of hand.“Well, you can forget that, Missy! You messed up our lives a long time ago. This is what it is. There is nothing better out there for likes of us.”Her mind had become her worst enemy. It had a treacherous way of constantly replaying her past. Today was no different. All of the broken promises flashed before her as a silent movie. Each black and white scene only added more coldness to the icy chamber that was trying to imprison her heart. “No!” her heart cried in agony. “Don’t say that. There has to be hope! Hope that life can be better than this. I must believe. I must.”“Believe in what?” Her condescending mind inquired. “We’ve been there thousands of times. Every turn has left us empty. Every time you have trusted or believed has only leaves us disappointed and heartbroken. Do you really want to do it again? What is there left to believe in?” her mind reeled with exhaustion.“Nothing. There is nothing left to believe in. What’s done is done! There is no going back. No use fretting about the mess I have made. It is what it is.”Frustrated she kicked another clog of dry dirt out of her way before looking towards her destination. She wasn’t expecting anything to be different than all the days before but it was.“Oh great.” She drew in a deep breath and let out a long sigh, “Just what I need to deal with today—another man.”

Even then.

I hate not being able to be at church. But, with my fever coming back yesterday, here I sit on my couch another Sunday morning. I just cannot shake this bronchitis crud. However, there has been one constant thing that has brought me some joy these past three Sundays--watching my church family as they arrive for church.Watching them park their cars has become a real treat for me. Hey, don't judge, I have nothing better to do. So, I have started a parking competition for those who back into their parking space. I've watched the perfectionist as they have backed in, pulled up, backed in again, and again, and again. I've watched as some have backed in and not care if they were in straight or even if they took up 2 spaces. And, then I have watched as some put it in there perfect with the first try. As I have watched them, I have been reminded of the simple truth that there are all types of people. No one better than the rest cause we are all flawed. My daughter hits the nail on the head with her view of the human race--"We are all made of dirt. No need in thinking you are better than anyone else." Everyone seems now to be looking for a way to make the world better. Forgive me if I am wrong, but I believe if we are going to make a difference in this world then we must learn to except one another as we are. It's not about how they park or how they dress that causes me to love my church family. It's the person on the inside. The one beneath the make-up, hair and stylish clothes. Each of us have been given our own unique skills and personalities. To try to change those are to say that God messed up. The one who laughs a lot may seem annoying at times, but you have to admit, their laughter has brought a smile to your face more than once. The know it all can drive you crazy, but if you stop to listen they do have good advice. The silent one may seem odd, but what they have to say is often done in action instead of words. The one who talks all the time may cause you to roll your eyes, but they are real, often opening up about their own struggles and failures and leading the way for many.You see it takes all of us to make this life worth living. No one person can be all things. And, let's face it, it gets pretty boring and depressing being alone. Life was meant to spend with others. Sharing common interest as well as uncommon interest. Who knows that uncommon thing maybe the next thing God is leading you to.My morning devotion today came from Matthew 22:37-40:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.38 This is the first and great commandment.39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.The basic truth is--if we love Godwe are going to love one another. There is no other way. It is a solid truth that can not be disoriented or distorted. And, if we truly love God and one another we can accept each other, with all our beauty and all our flaws.I challenge you to reach out to someone and genuinely love on them regardless of how they park in this thing called life! Not only will it make their day brighter, but yours too!

For us....

Most of us know the verse of Isaiah 9:6. It is probably one of the most quoted scriptures at Christmas time, but I wonder if we truly understand all that this verse means? These past few years have been hard for our family. We experienced the loss of a cherished Dad, the illness of my husband and the continuous illness of my daughter along with many other ups and downs. No doubt you have, too. It seems most of us are going through the same humbug of a Christmas season. I don't know about you but I was to the point of throwing in the towel. But I had this saving grace that wouldn't let go. A still small voice that called me back to the true meaning of Christmas.In the chaos of my life, I stopped and listened as it beckoned me to follow it. It led me to a time of true peace and tranquility. Back to the place where it all began. Back to where hope was born. Back to where love spilled from heaven and flooded the earth. Back to angels singing Joy to the World. Back to a lowly manger. Back to the sweet face of the Christ Child. Back to the promise of Isaiah 9:6."For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be calledWonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." --KJVHave you ever really studied this verse? I mean broke it down word for word?That's exactly what God's still small voice has called me to do. Today, I want to share with you what I have learned so far. Let's look together at that first word...FORDo you know what "for" means? Here are a few definitions for you to consider...1-with purpose.2-intended to belong to, or be used in connection with.3-suiting the purpose or needs of.4-in order to obtain, gain or acquire.5-in consideration or payment of.6-in favor of, on the side of.7-in exchange8-with the purpose of reaching.9-to the advantage of everyone.I loved those definitions but I was awestruck by these two:10-in order to save.11-in spite of.What a great promise God had given to the Prophet Isaiah, many, many years (over 400 to be exact), before the gift of His Only Son. It wasn't by mere coincidence that Christ came. It wasn't Plan B. It wasn't a quickly made decision. It was well thought out before the world was ever created. God knew we would need a Savior. And He sent JESUS! For you, and for me. You and me, we are "Us"!In order to save us, in spite of ourselves! Let's take those last two definitions and look at Isaiah 9:6 again.In order to save you and in spite of who you are,a child is born, a son is given:What a joyous thought! I would like to challenge you to take the time to go back and write this verse out. Then re-write it by adding in the definitions above which describe "for". Take time to relish what it really means, that "For You" this gift was given!Father, we pray that the true meaning of Christmas will grab us again this year. As we celebrate with family and friends may we take the time to walk the path back to the manger. Back to where it all began. May we truly understand the "FOR" of Your precious gift--our Savior, Christ the Lord. Thank You for sending Him to save us, in spite of ourselves! In Jesus name, Amen.

My Testimony

You would think one born in a Christian home, the daughter of a Southern Baptist Preacher, would find Salvation early in life. And, for appearances sake that is exactly what happened. At the age of 9 years old, I walked the aisle of my church during an old fashioned revival service. I remember kneeling there crying while my father and others prayed around me. The one thing I don’t remember is ever praying myself. I don’t remember personally asking Jesus to be my Savior and Lord.In my early teenage years I strayed from what I was taught. I wasn’t the worst of the bunch, but I surely wasn’t the best. I hung out with the wrong crowd. Used the wrong words. Those who did not know me would have never believed I was a Preacher’s Kid. I wasn’t the party child, but I wasn’t the Christ-like girl either. As the years passed I became more and more of the rebellious prodigal you might say. I didn’t want anything to do with church or with God. I wanted to be my own boss and do my own thing. It didn’t take to long for me to join the party scene. I was so looking forward to 21 and being a legal adult. Then everything would be as I wanted. However, God had other plans. Thankfully in all of my rebellion, my parents never gave up on me. At the age of 20, just a few months before my 21st birthday, I realized I was as lost as could be. Just like Prodigal Son in Luke 15, I found myself at the bottom. I found myself lost and alone, afraid of dying. I remember well that Sunday morning, going to church, yet not feeling God’s presence or calling. I left empty, scared, alone and miserable. That’s why I was the first one at church that night. I spent the time in my car waiting for others to arrive, pleading and begging God not to leave me here like I was. I needed Him. I don’t know why I rebelled or how I came to be where I was but I knew I could not stay here any longer. All the things I had declared I didn’t want I now needed just as I needed air to breath. The church service started with special singing. They sang a song about being at the bottom of life and Jesus pulling them out. That was me. That’s where I was. I had hit bottom with no way out. I needed a Savior. I left my seat during the middle of the song. Yes, I interrupted the service as I fell on the altar and began to cry out. “God, I need you! Take it all, everything I have and ever wanted, take it. Just give me You. I can’t live another day without You. God, please help me. Please don’t leave me like this. I need You! I need You and You alone!”Jesus entered my heart that night. There were no bells and fireworks, just a sweet peace and a love I had never known before. And 27 years later, He is still here. I am now a Southern Baptist Preacher’s wife, a Christian Author and Speaker, a Women’s Ministry Leader and Sunday School Teacher. I love God with all of my heart. This God I didn’t need or want, is my Everything, my I AM. I am so in love with Him, I don’t want to live this life without Him. I can’t get enough of Him. He thrills me like no other. I stand in awe that He could love someone like me. He is my Always and Forever. He is my Constant and He is my Dearest Friend. He is my Father, and my Lord. Today, He has full control, and not I. The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.--Jeremiah 33:1

WANTED

I think one of the greatest mysteries in live is our creation. In these 40+ years, I have come to grasp the truth, that God didn't allow me to be created. I wasn't an after thought or part of some assembly line. No, every part of me was fashioned in His tender hands. My body, my mind, my personality, were all part of His master plan. There was nothing about me that God did not know would exist. (Even my tribe was created by Him!)Why would God go through such trouble to create someone like me? Because He wanted someone just like me. He wanted me. The good, the bad and the ugly. He wanted it all. Granted there are days I think He created me just for the laughs that I give Him. LOL. But, seriously, have you ever thought about that.I wasn't created just to run around and do His bidding. I wasn't created to be a robot or a puppet on a string. I wasn't created to be someone I'm not. I wasn't created to act like you or look like you. I wasn't created to please everyone. I was created because Almighty God WANTED me. Me. To love. To spend time with. To cherish and to talk with. He wanted someone like me as a friend. Someone like me to have a special relationship with Him. He thought of me and said that I was someone He wanted.He WANTED me. Baggage and All. ME! I am still in awe of this truth. God wanted me. And my dear friend, He WANTED you. You are not a mistake. You were carefully and tenderly created. Every part of you. He didn't need you. He WANTED you.Psalm 139: 13-18 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them,the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.

Looking Towards the Horizon

"There are times in life when you look out towards the horizon and you see the coming storm and you know it's going to be a humdinger! The sky before you is blackened. Bolts of lightning are flashing all around, keeping a steady rhythm with your every heart beat. The waves are already churning. With every minute that passes, they become more vicious and seem intent on knocking you off your feet and dragging you beneath the depths of survival. Fear has gripped your soul and your heart refuses to beat. Your mind tells you to jump overboard and end all of the turmoil. For a moment you consider the thought. You don't know what to do. You feel trapped. There's nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. It is then, in the midst of all your chaos you feel the touch of a familiar hand on your shoulder. You turn around and your eyes meet those of your Captain. He's smiling! With unprecedented doom all around you, He's smiling!"Don't be afraid, child, don't be afraid. I've driven through some of the worst storms imaginable. I've never lost one of my passengers. I know how to speak peace to the fiercest of hurricanes. I know how to calm the furious waves. But even greater still if your boat crumbles beneath the pounding waves, there is still no need for fear. Remember my child, I invented 'Water Walking'."I knew that something was coming that morning as I sat on the porch doing my morning devotion at White Lake, NC. I could see the storm on the horizon. I was afraid and began praying. The above excerpt was my response from God. I told my husband Mike that the book, Water Walking, would come from our life experience over the past few years. As we cooled in the clear waters that day at Camp Clearwater, we discussed his illness. Neither knowing the answers but both knowing that there was than what seemed to be on the surface.Since that day the clouds have gotten darker. The storm isn't quite here yet, so I have no clue how rough it is going to be or if it will be rough at all. But, this I know...God sees each tear that falls from my eyes, He knows how afraid I am and He is holding me through it all, smiling gently, reminding me that He is the captain of our ship. I am so thankful that my God, is more than a figure sitting on a shelf. He is more than a story. He is very real and very personal. He's my Father and my Best Friend. And, He loves me enough to ask me to walk on the waters of faith with Him.Isaiah records some of my favorite verses in Chapter 43. I cling to these verses in the midst of life's storms. But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: (Isaiah 43:1-3 KJV)Often I insert my own name into these verses, to remind myself that no matter what happens in life, God my Father, has me securely in His hands. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but this I know...He will not fail me nor forsake me. (Joshua 1:5) It is more than a promise, it is a guarantee.