Rabea Scholz's Blog

Three Magical Orange Seeds (And Gifts From The Universe)

STORYTIME!

In the spring of 2025, I wrote a novel – the greatest creative rush I’ve ever experienced in my life. I lived inside that story 24/7. I could hardly sleep because I was so excited all the time. It came after a long spell of writer’s block, and I felt as though I’d stepped back into life. I finished the first draft in 102 days. But the truly magical part began after that… with three orange seeds.

Jane: controlled, emotionless and about to be cracked open

The main character who came to me one morning in March was Jane – a woman who, like all of her people, has had her emotions erased, along with her need for sleep and her ability to feel pain. Now that the apocalypse is over, people are slowly learning to feel again. The process is called restoration, and it’s tough – imagine going to sleep (surrendering all control and consciousness!) for the first time in your life, just as you’ve become capable of fear.

Without giving too much away, I’ll say that Jane walks a long and difficult path to rediscover herself. At one point in the story, she is gifted three orange seeds, and the tree growing from one of them becomes an important companion.

This is how I imagine Jane.
View my statement on AI art here.

After 102 days of writing euphoria, I wrote the final scene. I cried, I was joyful – and terrified that this might be the last story I had in me. Perhaps that thought sounds familiar to you? I’ve had it more than once (it’s been wrong every time). To celebrate finishing the story, my wife gave me three orange seeds. (Yes, I cried again.)

I killed my cactus when I was four

There’s a picture of it in the family album. Since then, I’ve never managed to keep anything remotely plant-like alive – nor was I ever interested. I used to joke that I had two black thumbs.

But here I was, with three orange seeds, and it felt important to give them life. Having absolutely no idea what I was doing, I stuck them into some flower soil my wife had lying around and put the pot on the windowsill. At least it was summer, though our window gets very little light, and I certainly couldn’t recreate Mediterranean temperatures in Berlin.

I wasn’t too surprised when nothing happened – but I was disappointed. I checked my orange seeds every day (invisible), watered them, talked to them. July passed, August passed. No seedlings appeared. After asking ChatGPT for advice, I bought an organic orange and planted those seeds as well. Still nothing.

Now, I’m a patient person, but this project mattered to me. Every day without a spark of green, I felt more and more discouraged. In my mind, the growth of these orange seeds became tied to my writing.

What if Jane’s story had been my last?

And that’s when the universe sent me a sign.

A sign from the universe: apple seeds

One morning, as I was making my porridge, I cut open an apple and found a germinated seed inside – a small but healthy-looking root already sprouting.

I took it as a sign from the universe. A whisper saying, “Hey, you’re trying something hard and it’s not working. Here’s an easier way. Your life doesn’t have to be hard anymore.”

There’s a long story behind why making my life easier feels so important, and why planting seeds became a metaphor for everything – but that’s for another time. What mattered was that I found that seed and teared up because … it was an invitation to lightness. To ease. Perhaps even to joy.

So I planted my first apple seed.

The Apple Empire begins

It turned out to be the first of many, because for weeks I kept finding germinated seeds in my apples – something that had never happened before, and hasn’t happened much since. But for a while, I was planting apple seeds like a madwoman. Some looked very eager the moment I found them.

The rest I wrapped in a damp cloth and placed in the fridge – I’d learnt they need cold stratification. Essentially, you make them believe it’s winter, and in anticipation of spring, they start germinating.

Soon, I bought a tiny (think book-sized) greenhouse and put it on my windowsill. It even came with a little grow light. That was how the Apple Empire began.

I cried again the day the first little seedling broke through the soil. Still no trace of the oranges, but the apples were growing! I named the first one Mister Apple, the second Mister Apple’s Little Sister. Neither survived – I probably killed them by transplanting too early. But Tiny Pip, my third one, is still going strong. Here’s how he looks today (early November):

And he’s Not Alone – which, by the way, is the title of Jane’s story. I now proudly own a cheap indoor greenhouse full of hopeful apple trees (and the occasional other plant that’s snuck its way in).

Life became easier – in many ways, but always with my apples as a symbol: this is how easy it can be. Just receive the gifts without fighting for them, and follow where they lead.

But the story doesn’t end there.

Return of the oranges

In October, four months after planting the first orange seeds, I discovered the tiniest hint of green – and this one didn’t look like an apple.

I had a full-body reaction to that bright, vibrant spark of green. I celebrated it. I spent long minutes each day watching it grow. And how it grew! Within days, there wasn’t just one seedling – there were three. And they were shooting up as though there were no tomorrow.

Between the original three seeds and the ones from my organic orange, I’d planted a total of nine, and never more than three seeds in one cell. You do the maths:

Yes – that’s more than three. It turns out (I didn’t know this) orange seeds often contain more than one embryo. In this case – six!

I could try to explain how witnessing this little miracle made me feel, but perhaps it’s best to let the pictures speak. Or my view of the universe: it gave me sprouted apple seeds to comfort me … only to prepare a much greater miracle in the background. It rewarded my patience and care with far more than I’d imagined possible.

That’s how the universe often works for me. I anticipate the best possible outcome … and then find it surpassed many times over. As of today, I’m counting around seventeen orange seedlings from nine seeds – and who knows if that’s the end of the story.

And my writing?

Yes, I’m writing again. I’m 25,000 words deep into my story about Claire and Owen – in a genre I never thought I’d write in, let alone talk about publicly. But here we are, and it’s incredible. I love these two characters so much, and they’re helping me explore new depths of safety, trust, pain, and surrender. Perhaps they’ll do the same for you, once I’m done.

And that’s not my only project. I’m also working on my Writer’s Block Tarot, revising Not Alone, tending to this blog, and exploring new creative directions. I wished for one story – and I received abundance. In seeds and in words.

I don’t want to be too on the nose with the message of this post, but just in case you need to hear it right now:

Yes, you can write again. And the universe may already be preparing abundance for you in the background.

How To Overcome Writer’s Block (When Nothing Else Has Helped)

If you google “how to overcome writer’s block”, you’ll find anything from lectures on performance anxiety to suggestions as cheerful as Light a candle for your next writing session or Just keep writing anyway! Neither are helpful, and some I consider downright harmful. Writer’s block exists for a reason, and it doesn’t need to be “broken”, “beaten” or “overcome” – but healed.

What is writer’s block – the one we’re talking about here?

People use the term writer’s block when they mean “I don’t feel like writing today”. That’s possibly the kind of writer’s block you can overcome by listening to music, taking a walk or lighting said candle. It’s not the kind I’m talking about here.

So what is writer’s block in the context of this article? It’s the kind that eats your soul. The kind that cuts you off, brutally, from your art – your way to express yourself in the world. The magic you’ve felt, the connection you’ve had to something greater than yourself, the abundance of stories that fulfilled you – it’s all gone, and you feel abandoned, lonely, empty and afraid that you’ll never have it back.

Breathe. There are ways to get it back, I promise you. I’ve been writing for over 30 years, and every form of writer’s block there is, I’ve had – including the horrible kind that can last for years. I’ve found my way back, and so can you once you understand why you are blocked and what your creative soul needs.

Why it’s not about overcoming writer’s block

The usual tips on how to overcome writer’s block fail to acknowledge what writer’s block actually is – a wound. Mind you, this is my personal take on it. I’m not a scientist, only a writer who’s been through hell and back regarding writer’s block over decades (I think that qualifies me).

Here’s what I believe about writer’s block:

Writer’s block doesn’t happen to us. We make it.There’s a good reason we do this: our system is smart, and writer’s block isn’t the enemy – it’s a measure to protect us.Once we don’t need that protection anymore, writer’s block can simply dissolve. It’s no longer needed.

Because we make writer’s block for a reason, it would be pointless – and likely harmful – to try to overcome (or worse: beat or break) it. What we need instead is kindness, understanding, compassion … and healing.

I’ve tried hundreds of ways to “unblock” myself. I’ve read books, taken classes, and done hundreds of thousands of words of free writing that never got me anywhere.

Depressed people don’t cheer up because you tell them to – blocked writers don’t get unblocked because they power through writing.

My way has been to heal the wounded part inside me that put up the block, and in return, the block has (over time) gently melted away.

So the question becomes: what do we need protection from, and how can we heal from that?

The countless ways we hurt ourselves in writing

This is just a small list of things I’ve personally done to get myself to write more, better and faster – and which have badly damaged my relationship with my Muse over the years. I have …

set deadlines (even on creative projects that didn’t need one)chased word counts (only ever increasing)had my inner editor question my wording even in first drafttried writing for an audience I imagined would want it that wayforced the story in a specific direction because “it made sense”forced myself to “finish this scene” before I got to eat somethingmade routines to write every day, even when I didn’t feel like itjoined accountability groups to keep myself writingprioritised the project that “needed to get finished” rather than the one that was funshowed my writing to people before it was ready and got criticised in a sensitive phasecriticised my own writingdownplayed my love and skill in front of others (“It’s not that great …”)subjected myself to harsh feedback in order to “get better”put myself down for not writing every day

I could go on and on. I’m sure you can find half a dozen things to add to your own list. You’ll notice some of these (”Write every day”) are common writing advice and considered good habit. They can be. But they can also be harmful if you’re overriding your intuition and your Muse (who, by the way, also needs rest).

Think of your Muse* as a tiny, fragile, innocent and very joyful being who just wants to play. She has all these millions of sparkling ideas, and all she wants is to share them with you. She’s childlike, happy, eager to play with you – and you’ve met her with pressure, discipline, deadlines, rules, demands, criticism and harshness.

Wow.

Please note, I’m not blaming you. I’ve done all these things and more to myself – I know how it happens, especially for high-performance people with a touch of perfectionism. Still, here we are. Your Muse has walled herself in to keep safe – and it’s a good thing she did.

But how do we deal with writer’s block now?

Curing writer’s block – 5 “tips” that aren’t tips

This isn’t a “five hacks” kind of article. Lighting a candle as a writing ritual or writing at a café instead of at home has never helped me with writer’s block. Neither has telling myself that I don’t have to write well, nor writing in a different genre or “writing something bad on purpose”.

But there are ways to cure writer’s block, and there is one thing above all that has consistently worked for me. I’m going to give you that one thing, and also five tips to try, but please understand that in serious cases, there’s no quick-fix to overcoming writer’s block. For me, it’s been two years of intense inner work that’s still ongoing (but so, so worth it).

If you’re as desperate as I was, though, I’m sure you’ll be glad of any lifeline. And you could see changes pretty soon, even if you don’t go back into full writing flow immediately.

One essential help for writer’s block: kindness

Kindness has been the most important, by far, of my reliable writer’s block cures. Let me make more tangible what that’s meant for me:

I’ve had to acknowledge that I made my writer’s block myself. My nervous system isn’t stupid, and neither is yours. If writing consistently causes stress, pressure, anxiety, doubt or uncertainty (or, hello! all of the above), it’s reasonable and brave of you to protect that fragile creative part inside you. It’s not failure – it’s an act of love and devotion.
I’ve had to be kind with that realisation. I’ve sat myself down, hugged myself and told myself: you were so brave. You struggled so hard trying to reconnect with yourself – look at all the desperate things you’ve done. And through it all, you’ve been so strong and so fiercely loving that you’ve kept your most precious gift safe from yourself by putting up these walls.
I’ve had to take all the pressure off. And I mean all of it – including the pressure to write, ever again. Yes, I know. I know. We can’t even imagine that. And still, telling myself that I would never put myself through that pressure again, never again try to force something open that’s locked down for good reason, has been the greatest kindness to myself (and, paradoxically, the key to healing the block).

I imagine that sounds very hard to accept. Believe me, I’ve been there – I understand. And yet, if you don’t promise yourself that you will never again use force (whether that’s deadlines, word counts or even just writing routines you hope will unblock you but you don’t enjoy), how can your creative soul learn to trust you again? She needs to trust you to lower the walls and come back out to play. You’re both longing for that reconnection.

Accepting that you won’t be writing for a while can be one of the most powerful solutions to writer’s block.

And no, it doesn’t mean you’ll never write again. But it means you’re willing to promise yourself safety, and that from here, you’ll only ever write joyfully, easily and in ways that serve you. Doesn’t that sound worth it?

How to get through writer’s block: 5 things you could try

Note I said “could” try, not “should” try. This is an intuition thing. If you read one of these suggestions on how to overcome writer’s block and you feel something loosen inside, or you tear up – go for it. If reading it just feels tight or stressful, you not only have my permission to skip it, but I applaud you for doing so.

These five strategies on how to get past writer’s block are from my personal experience. I’m sure not all five will serve everyone – but I’m pretty confident there could be one or two in there for you. Take your time, feel into it. See what clicks for you.

1. Introduce “No Pressure Time”

This is radical in today’s society. I want you to carve out spaces in your life where you do absolutely nothing “productive”. The more the better, but if you can’t do more than 15 minutes a day, then you’ll have to work with that (though ask yourself – how badly do you want this?). Do this daily as if your life depended on it.

Nothing “productive” means that during this time, you get to do absolutely nothing that your logical mind would consider sensible. No cooking for the family. No cleaning. No planning ahead for work. Certainly no writing.

What you could do during your No Pressure Time (and there’s absolutely no obligation): sitting by the window, lying on your back, listening to music, taking a walk, reading or watching something that’s a real guilty pleasure, browsing Pinterest for pretty pictures, pulling Tarot cards, trying to remember favourite quotes from movies, eating ice cream with your fingers …

Don’t read books or watch TV shows you would normally watch in your life. Make this time extraordinary, indulgent, a little forbidden – do things that make you feel ashamed because you think others might think you lazy if they saw you doing it. If you neglect important tasks during this time, you get bonus points. Being lazy is a great way to cure writer’s block.

2. Write an apology letter to your Muse

This is one of the more painful ways to overcome writer’s block, but very effective.

Write down everything you’ve done in the past that has contributed to your current writer’s block. Be as honest and complete as you can. Start with things like deadlines, word counts, your writing having to meet certain criteria, writing to a market demand, writing to reader demands, writing something you didn’t feel but thought “should” be in there, forcing words when you didn’t feel like it, setting up routines that didn’t make you feel joyful, overriding spontaneous ideas because you had plans in place, letting other people criticise your writing in a sensitive phase …

When you’re done, read through everything you’ve written down. 

Own it. Say you’re sorry. 

Put a hand on your chest (or wherever you feel your creative connection most closely – for me it’s often the throat) and sincerely, earnestly apologise. Promise things will change from here. Then stick to that promise (your creative life does depend on it).

3. Try writing with ChatGPT

I’m not going to go into a discussion about AI here. For me, ChatGPT has been invaluable in getting creative again and overcoming writer’s block. Not because it writes for me, but because I get to watch the direction it wants to take a story, and then interfere.

If at all possible, don’t necessarily try this with your current project, if there’s one you’re stuck in. Take something older, or something entirely new. Give ChatGPT some information, then ask it to suggest the next scene. Read it, listen to your intuition – listen especially to what feels off to you. “No, Jenny wouldn’t behave that way.” Or “I don’t like this setting. It should be inside a sun-lit kitchen.” This is easier if you use characters, places or plot points you already know.

Give AI the corrections and see where it takes you next. Keep correcting – often correcting what feels off is easier than coming up with new material. This is your creative voice resurfacing, and you don’t have to do a single line of writing (which might be too hard at this point).

4. Get positive feedback

One of my favourite tips on how to get over writer’s block – this is fun, easy, and won’t hurt you further.

The creative soul can be very child-like – and it thrives on praise. If you have good friends or family members who will understand, pick some pieces of your writing and ask them for only positive feedback. Be very clear about this, and be sure to pick people who won’t betray dislike through raised eyebrows or frowns. You want the purest, most encouraging feedback you can get.

If you don’t have such people around you or feel ashamed to ask them, go to ChatGPT. Be very clear in your instructions here too: you want positive feedback, no criticism, no refinements, no suggestions to change anything. Only a fan who cheers you on unconditionally.

What to do when you have writer’s block: Find fans who cheer you on.

No, this isn’t the way you should go about revising when you’ve written a book. But that’s not the stage we’re at. Right now, you need care, care and care.

5. Eat Cookies And Chocolate

I’m a bit of a health nut and careful around junk food. But the winter of 2024/25 was rough emotionally. A lot of healing happened, and my body demanded chocolate now please. The way I see it, there’s a difference between obsessive comfort eating and the intentional choice to give your body comfort foods for a limited time of heavy emotional processing.

You’re a writer and you’re not writing – that’s a state of emergency. You’re allowed to want to comfort yourself.

You can make comfort foods part of your No Pressure Time. Don’t eat mindlessly – eat with intention, enjoy the sweetness and feel the indulgence. Play with the forbidden feeling: it’s one of the fastest paths on how to stop writer’s block that I’ve ever discovered. Certainly not one you’ll want to walk forever, but secretly nibbling chocolate chip cookies when you know you “should” be eating salad can be strangely liberating.

Of course your indulgence might be something else – see some of the suggestions I’ve made for No Pressure Time.

Remember: overcoming writer’s block isn’t a one-time action

Don’t expect to try the five strategies above once and suddenly get writing again. If it clicks for you that fast, great – for me, it took a lot longer. It doesn’t have to be months or years, though. 

Long before I’d have called myself “healed” from writer’s block, I was getting snippets – fragments of dialogue, a poem here and there. I felt better, too. My creativity was waking up again, even though it wasn’t yet speaking to me directly.

Remember to be kind to yourself in all phases of this. If I had to choose only one thing that really turned things around for me, it would be kindness. So be kind.

I wish you all the best in your healing.

PS: I had invaluable support during this time from Willow Star and Roxan McDonald. I did the work, but they helped me find the path. Thank you both.

FAQ: How To Overcome Writer’s BlockWhat is the fastest way to cure writer’s block?

Stop doing everything you’ve done to cause it in the first place. I know that’s not helpful, but neither is the question. You didn’t get writer’s block by coincidence or by one little mistake along the way. You got it because your nervous system (and your Muse) feel unsafe – because of the way you treated your writing (or perhaps because of something that happened to you). Either way, healing takes time, so be kind to yourself and don’t rush it.

What is the main cause of writer’s block?

You’ll see a lot of answers to this, such as anxiety, depression, stress, overwhelm or distraction. For me, they all lead to the same result: your Muse doesn’t feel safe. Your creative soul is afraid of being hurt, judged, criticised, forced – you name it. That’s why I believe curing writer’s block isn’t a quick-fix. Healing is possible, but it doesn’t happen on command.

How long does writer’s block last?

As long as it needs to. If we accept that writer’s block doesn’t just happen, but is created by our own nervous system, then it’s logical that we’ll experience writer’s block as long as the perceived threat remains. That’s why productivity hacks or “five easy ways to beat writer’s block” rarely help – your Muse is terrified, and she won’t be fooled by a candle and some nice music.

What she needs from you is consistent signaling that it’s safe to come back out and play, and that you’ll keep her safe. So writer’s block could dissolve within weeks or even days, or it could last years or decades – exactly as long as it’s needed.

How I Lost My Hands (And Got Them Back)

In 2011, I participated in Milwordy, a challenge to write 1,000,000 words in a year. For those of you who know NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), that’s about one and a half times the NaNo amount: 2,740 words every single day for the whole year – so, nothing to sneeze at.

I came out of that year with six overly wordy first drafts for novels, several short stories, some journalling, and lots of bits and pieces that never amounted to much. But what a fantastic year I had! It was one big rush of writing, and it was brilliant.

However … I started having the first wrist pains in February.

They weren’t bad – I took a little break, put on some bandages and kept writing. Things got worse in March, but I still wasn’t worried.

In April, the joints of my fingers started aching. I’d end up crying at the computer because I had words I wanted to say, and fingers that refused to write them down.

I finally had to accept in May that I couldn’t keep going. Whenever I sat down to type, my fingers were on fire. It got to the point where I couldn’t pick up my teacup. I spent a couple of days crying, and then …

I picked myself up and started doing research.

I’d heard about the Dvorak Simplified Keyboard layout before from Holly Lisle (brilliant writing teacher) – and no, it’s got nothing to do with the composer. I had considered learning Dvorak before but thought it too much effort, especially since I was typing very quickly on the QWERTY layout and thought I couldn’t afford to lose my momentum.

Well, guess what? I couldn’t afford to lose my hands, either. So I jumped in cold turkey and started typing only Dvorak – which meant having to relearn all the keys.

I taped the printed keyboard layout to my screen and never looked at the keys again, because every time I did, my fingers would automatically go to the old layout and throw me. So to find the right keys, I first had to locate the letter on the printout, then feel my way to the correct key.

It took ages.

The first day, I got 200 words, and they took me two hours to type. I cried a lot during those first days, which is perhaps hard to understand to someone who doesn’t write. It was like I’d suddenly lost my language – I wasn’t able to do the thing I’m most passionate about. I’m very grateful this was temporary. There are so many people who lose their passion permanently due to disabilities.

For me, things got better. After a couple of weeks, my writing speed was up to 20 words a minute and I was doing around 1,000 words a day again. I had a lot of words to catch up to finish Milwordy on time, but the pain in my fingers and in my wrists was gone. Part of that was likely the forced resting period, but it’s been years since and I’ve had long periods of intense writing – and I’ve never had problems again. Dvorak literally saved my writing.

So, is it worth learning?

My answer is: it depends.

If you’re happy with your typing speed and you’re not experiencing pain (not only in your fingers or wrists – neck, back and shoulders can all be affected by typing!), you’re fine. It would probably be a waste of time and effort to do this to yourself.If, however, you do have problems or typing (in whatever profession) is a massive part of your life, it’s so worth it. I’ve never looked back.

How to go about it? There are several excellent websites to help you get started. For me, the best way was the simplest: print the layout, tape it to your screen and feel your way to the right keys. This will also teach you to type without looking at the keys, if you aren’t able to do that. I wasn’t, and I learnt it by learning Dvorak.

What about QWERTY, then?

Isn’t it troublesome to use computers other than your own? Not at all. Dvorak is a standard keyboard layout in operating systems, so it’s a matter of two minutes to set it up (one-time), and then you simply shift between layouts by pressing a key combination, which takes only a second. If you use multiple languages (like me) and you need special characters (å, á, ä etc.), I recommend downloading the Dvorak International Custom layout. This, too, is a one-time installation and you can easily switch between layouts.

I’ve heard that there are people who can type both Dvorak and QWERTY, depending on where they are and what they need. That’s also an option if you switch computers a lot. I found it unnecessary, so today I use Dvorak for everything. I can still type some QWERTY (about 30 wpm), but it’s unsatisfying, so I don’t really do it.

A word on typing speed

I’ve also read that you can type faster with Dvorak, but that never happened for me. Years and years later, I’m still not back up to my previous writing speed (I do still type 80 to 100 words per minute, though – more than enough). It took me about three months to get up to 50 wpm – could be different for you, of course.

Now I’m curious: have you heard about Dvorak? Do you use it? Or would you ever consider making the switch? Let me know in the comments.

How To Cheat, Trick and Fuck Over Your Readers

So I visited this seminar on online marketing, mostly because there was a section on e-books and that caught my interest. Within two minutes, I disliked the guy who took the stage – just a gut feeling. But hey, I’m trying to stay non-judgmental here (spoiler: turns out my gut feeling was right).

Here are some of the highlights from the e-book part of that seminar:

Anyone can write an e-book (true).It doesn’t cost you a dollar to publish it on Amazon (true, unless you want, you know, a professional cover or even minimal editing?).You shouldn’t spend more than a day writing it (?!), otherwise it’s just not worth the effort, but you ought to run a spellcheck (what?).It’s easy to hit an “Amazon Best Seller” (true, see the link at the end of this post).91 percent of people don’t read past the first chapter of a book anyway (I don’t know where this number is coming from. It might be true. However, the conclusion drawn at the seminar was …), so don’t waste your time. You get their money either way.

Yeah. Needless to say I left the seminar early and feeling both discouraged and frustrated. And this isn’t the only shady practice in self-publishing. I know of groups where self-published authors get together to trade 5-star reviews (never mind if the book is actually any good) or of people who recruit all their friends to buy and rate the book on release day.

I understand the sentiment. It isn’t all that easy to gain traction for a self-published book, especially if you don’t know marketing and you’re on a tight budget. But what’s this doing to readers?

Because I’m a reader too. And as a reader I rely on reviews to help me pick a book I’m actually going to enjoy. If we cheat our readers on reviews, it means we take people’s money (and worse – their time!) because we care more about that than whether or not the book is actually a good fit for them. That’s unethical and self-centered.

By now I’m pretty well-trained in spotting the “friends’ reviews”. Especially when a newly self-published book with an unconvincing blurb has six 5-star reviews and they all include passages on how hard the author worked for this.

Full disclosure: Naheli’s Sacrifice has been reviewed by both writers and readers, and I’ve specifically asked for reviews. However, the way I did it was to provide a free copy to people who weren’t emotionally invested in me and ask them to “leave an honest review”. That’s allowed by Amazon’s terms, and it ensures they won’t rate the book five stars just to avoid hurting my feelings. It is, in my view, an ethical way to gain reviews (which I do need) and stay honest to my readers.

Let me share a review I got on Naheli’s Sacrifice – partly because it makes me really happy, but also because it proves my point:

If you love deep, thoughtful fantasy along the lines of Connie Willis, Brandon Sanderson, and such, I think you will really like this book. If you prefer lighter urban fantasy with vampires, werewolves, etc., be prepared for a different type of read. I found the quality of this book especially amazing for a free book. Most free fantasy books on Amazon are pure dreck.

The last sentence is what makes me a little sad. Because how are readers going to find the gems among the dreck if they can’t rely on reviews?

Last but not least, here’s the link I promised: how anyone can turn an ebook into a #1 Amazon Sest Seller:

http://observer.com/2016/02/behind-the-scam-what-does-it-takes-to-be-a-bestselling-author-3-and-5-minutes/

Thanks for your time reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts – and let’s stay ethical in marketing, okay?

Self-publishing to fuck over your readers

How to cheat, trick, and lie to your readers

(This is going to be a different post and I’m pissed off writing this, so I apologise in advance for my language (though if you’ve read the title, you’ve probably seen the worst of it). This needs to be said.)

I attended a seminar a few days ago that I was interested in because one of the topics was online marketing, specifically using ebooks. Disclaimer first: At this point, I know very little about online marketing. I’m only just starting out. I read, I talk to people, I try a few things. So I’m not an expert by any means. But I know enough to take a stand right now and say that this is the way I’m never never ever going to do it.

Just a couple of highlights that were said at the seminar:

Anyone can write an ebook (true). It doesn’t cost you a dollar to publish it on Amazon (true). You shouldn’t spend more than a day writing it (?!), otherwise it’s not worth the effort (?!?) and you don’t need an editor, but you ought to run a spell-check (this is the point where I almost got up and left, but it was morbid fascination that kept me in my seat).
It’s easy to become an Amazon bestseller (true, I’ll post a link about that at the end of this post). For a few dollars you can get that shiny orange badge on your book and, basically, fuck your readers over because they now believe you’re one of the top sellers in the world, so… your book must be good, right?
91% of people don’t read past the first chapter of a book they’ve bought. (I don’t know where this statistic came from. It might be true. However, the conclusion drawn at the seminar was…) So you really shouldn’t put a lot of effort into it. Just throw a few things together, no one’s going to read it anyway, it’s just about helping you build your brand.

These are just the highlights, but I think it’s quite enough to make my point. I’m writing this to take a stand for passionate, honest, ethical, hard-working self-published authors who write because they love to write and not primarily for money, who will never, never lie to or cheat their readers, and who strive to write the very best books they can to make sure they don’t waste a second of their readers’ valuable time.

And maybe, that means we’ll make less money. Maybe it means we won’t hit the bestseller lists at all, but if we do, it’s because we’ve earned it. We don’t push our books up there by purposefully putting it in the wrong categories and pretend we just conquered the world. We don’t claim to be so skilled that we can do without an editor (there may be about 5 people who actually are, but chances are you’re not one of them; I’m not). We don’t pretend that our book will be available at that reduced price only today, when in fact it’s going to stay that way forever. That’s lying to your readers! And yeah, I can just about guess the comments I’m going to get on this:

That’s how marketing works today (partly true).
Get off your high horse, you don’t have any sales to show (true, but that doesn’t take away my right to an opinion).
You sound like an angry child envious of the big writers out there because you haven’t made it (maybe I do, what’s your point?).

But you know what? Bullshit. There are ways to market your ebook ethically, to readers who are genuinely interested, without lying to them. I believe that I’ll be able to find readers who appreciate exactly that respect I have for them and stick with me because of it.

Will this mean I’ll never make a living off my writing? Maybe. But I don’t think so. Let’s talk about it in 10 or 20 years and see how things have gone, shall we?

If you’re a self-published author who intends to market ethically, do you know why this matters to you? Because there are people out there giving self-publishing a really bad name by publishing low-quality mass-produced, unedited ebooks. Look what someone wrote in a review on my book (and yes, I’ll be honest and say I’m posting a couple of sentences more than I need to because I want you to see the good feedback my book got, too):

If you love deep, thoughtful fantasy along the lines of Connie Willis, Brandon Sanderson, and such, I think you will really like this book. If you prefer lighter urban fantasy with vampires, werewolves, etc., be prepared for a different type of read. I found the quality of this book especially amazing for a free book. Most free fantasy books on Amazon are pure dreck.

The last sentence, though. Think about it: People are always talking about how it’s important to ‘stand out’ when you do marketing. I’ve got a suggestion. How about standing out by writing a really high-quality book? Doesn’t that sound good?

Please, if you agree, share this article with your fellow self-published authors. Let’s spread the word and group together as authors who write because they love to write and who vow to market ethically. For readers whom we respect and whose time we value. 

Here’s the link I promised. How anyone can turn an ebook into a #1 Amazon bestseller:

http://observer.com/2016/02/behind-the-scam-what-does-it-takes-to-be-a-bestselling-author-3-and-5-minutes/

Still here? Please remember to share.

 

Did this article offend you? Ask yourself why. 

 

Massive Book Giveaway :)

Just a quick note today to share that there is a MASSIVE giveaway going on. All you need to enter is an e-mail address, and there are prizes all the way up to a Kindle Fire HD and a Kindle Echo down to e-books for ALL entrants. So if you have an e-mail address, you win.

Progress, goals, and deleted scenes!

I’ve had a busy few weeks! Balancing writing and a day job (plus family) is certainly a challenge. There comes a point, though, when you have to decide whether you want this or not, and saying no to my writing is out of the question. So I’ve been working on several projects and trying to wrap my head around promoting for self-published authors. It’s an exciting journey, and it takes a lot of time, but at the end of the day, this is what I want. And every day takes me one step closer to my big goal.

First of all, I’ve finally finished writing and revising my three ‘deleted scenes’ – additional content for Naheli’s Sacrifice. I’ve revisited the Spire and spent some time eavesdropping on Naheli, Thilkhan, and Dhamikhan, to name just a few. I never thought that Naheli’s story would turn into a series, but I was surprised at how much fun I had writing these scenes, and also at how much background story there still is to discover. So aside from the planned prequel, I may (perhaps) dive more deeply into that story again and see what sacrifices other characters had to make.

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For now, though, if you are interested, you can download the little e-book of deleted scenes by clicking on the following link:

http://eepurl.com/ccgVrf

Please note that these scenes contain SPOILERS, so do not read them unless you have already read Naheli’s Sacrifice. You can download Naheli’s Sacrifice for free from Kobo, Barnes&Nobles, Nook, Scribd, Tolino, and soon Amazon as well.

Aside from that, I’ve also been working on said prequel, which is turning out to be about Dhamikhan’s first arrival on the island, the challenges he faces, and the troubles in his family, mainly his strained relationship with Rhima. The completion of this story is still a bit away, but I’m looking forward to uncovering it.

Finally, I’m working on my new novel, Darklight Rest. I’m hard-pressed to say what genre it belongs in. For now, I’d classify it as a dystopian novel with SciFi elements. I’m nearing the completion of the first draft, at which stage I’ll better be able to say what it’s actually about.

Letting go

This isn’t my first attempt at writing Darklight Rest. There’s something about this story that is tempting, intriguing, compelling, and then there’s a big, huge, overwhelming part that’s incredibly hard to grasp. I’ve been on pure Muse territory lately, and it’s like feeling my way forward through the dark, hands outstretched, with no idea where I’ll end up. Most of the times, I’ll find a wall. Change direction, start over, another wall. Sometimes a tiny corridor I can just about squeeze through but by God, the light in those corridors! If this story weren’t so tantalizing, I would have abandoned it half a dozen times by now…

But Mariany’s voices comes through so clearly. When the writing goes well, I don’t have to think at all. It’s like channeling what’s already happening elsewhere, I just need to type it in and later take out the typos. I love writing when it happens in this way. Trouble is, I hardly seem able to write any other way anymore.

It’s a lot to do with my recent changes in lifestyle, I suppose. The past two years have been a rocky journey towards removing from my life as much as possible of what’s bad, boring, heavy, dishonest, not worth my time. Seems my Muse is coming along for the ride, with the result that I’m getting better writing, but also a lot less of it. It takes longer to find the right way, and I don’t have a process for it yet. I guess that’s fine. Life changes, writing changes. And I’m having many more of those brilliant-writing moments than I used to.

I get impatient, though. I want to know the story of these two women who meet in a place without memory. Why are they here? Who were they before they came? Why does one of them die? Yes, I get told this on page one, second paragraph, but my Muse is holding off the revelations for later. It’s like reading a book, not knowing the ending until I write it (I think I’d hate to know the ending in advance, because if I did, what would be the point writing it?). It just takes such time, and I’m usually a fast reader.

Every time I encounter writer’s block, if I want to call it that, there are lessons to be learned from it. I think this time around, the lesson is patience. Letting go, trusting the Muse. It’s true, I have been bad at trusting her for some time now, and yet she’s never let me down. The more I succeed in letting go, the more the words just come to me. It’s just that nowadays, we all get taught so much on how to succeed, how to perform, how to work hard, and you hardly get through any book, course or blog on writing without it telling you that writing is hard work and if you’re just in it for the fun, go find yourself a different hobby. Sad, isn’t it? Because it’s those fun bits I enjoy so much, and since I’ve started looking after myself more, I get plenty of them. But it seems my Muse also demands her resting periods.

You know what, have them. I know we’ll meet when we’re both ready for it.

2,991 words today :)

Have neglected posting here because I’ve done some serious re-evaluation of my story so far. Results not looking too good. Have a big idea now that *might* solve the issue I’ve been having for this story every time I tried to write it, BUT it means massively rewriting again. Which doesn’t matter, because I do love writing, and I can put out a lot of words quickly. Means I’m not progressing as fast as I’d like, though.

Today, though: brilliant word count. 2,991 words!

2,665 words

And finally I have some conflict. It isn’t much, but it’s coupled with a growing intensity between Liya and Mariany, and I feel like I’m finally telling the story I wanted to tell. I’m on the right track now, and this is powerful stuff. I love NaNo!