Joe Fontenot's Blog, page 18

Most of us are wrong

It’s okay to disagree.

Mainly because there’s very little we know for sure. Stuff like: God is good. That’s one we know.

But most of the time, we don’t disagree with each other on foundational things like this. Instead, we tend to disagree on process issues. In other words, we disagree on the how, not the what. As Christians, we all agree we should be a witness to the world–but what path do we take here? That’s where it gets jumbled.

What’s not okay is to re-value a person based on their opinions or approach. Even if they’re wrong.

The trouble is that’s our default.

If they don’t do things like us, they’re not “one of us.”

But, of course they’re not. They’re one of God’s.

That’s all any of us are.

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Empathy of a log

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”


– Jesus (Matthew 7:3)

Jesus tells us to address our own mess first. Hypocrisy is a big deal.

But I don’t think hypocrisy is the root of his issue here. I think the deeper reason Jesus told us to look at ourselves first, is because that’s how we develop empathy for others.

Empathy is when you can feel what others feel.

When you address your own issues first, you not only understand the truth of the matter, you work through the emotional baggage that comes with it.

Most of us, in some form or another, have a concept of right and wrong. And if not, there’s google. What we don’t need are more facts.

Instead, what we need are people who’ve made it through who can tell us where not to step. That’s what empathy is. And that’s who we become when we look at ourselves first.

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The limits of life

Recently, Dr. Elisabetta Barbi of the University of Rome did a study on the length of life.

Her findings? “If there’s a fixed biological limit, we are not close to it.”

My wife’s grandfather is 95. Every time I see him, I ask him questions. (My goal is to make it to triple-digits.) He’s happy and cheerful. But his advice on the matter is “don’t.”

On the other hand, there are some people who live only a few years. Nate Saint (33) and Jim Elliot (29) both died bringing the gospel to places that had never heard it. And more recently, Nabeel Qureshi had an incredible trajectory before him, except he died from cancer, at 34. I turn 34 next month.

There is much we cannot control. And it’s easy to become cynical about that.

But there are a few things we can control. Like, what we do with today. Michael Crichton wrote that all of life “has the same shape of a single day.”

Life isn’t limited by length, it’s limited by depth. And fortunately, that is something we can control.

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3 kinds of depression (at least one is affecting you)

There are three kinds of depression.

The first is when you lose something and you’re sad. (Technically, this is a stage of grief.) And the depth of it depends on what you’ve lost.

The second kind is when you wake up a bit off. This could last a few hours, or a few days.

And the third is more clinical in nature. Not really a DIY fix here.

I mention this because depression is a real part of life. And in order to thrive, we need to figure out how to deal with it.

A good solution for one kind rarely works for another.

For instance, of the three kinds of depression, turn-that-frown-upside-down advice works best on the first. It’s irrelevant for the second and can be disastrous for the third.

For the second kind of depression, it helps to have solid habits in place (like I wrote about here).

But for the third, you need to prepare ahead of time. Self-awareness is your greatest asset here.

In all three, solid friendships are what make the difference. In the first, their presence alone can do it. In the second, it’s their accountability. And in the third, it them watching out for you.

The enemy of spiritual growth is spiritual warfare.

And for a lot of us, depression is a key weapon here.

It’s our goal to keep moving. And it’s our job to help our friends do the same.

 

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The times when Heresy isn’t so bad

In the world of theology, heresy is the equivalent of failure.

It is often demonized—heretics get kicked out of the church. And in many cases, this is a good thing.

But I think if we leave it there, we’re missing something important.

Ever tried to explain the Trinity? If you’ve used an analogy, you almost certainly committed a heresy. Just the way it goes.

But were you trying to change church doctrine in the process? I seriously doubt it. You were probably trying to understand it and teach it.

The thing is, with growth comes an inherent risk.

And if we’re too afraid of that risk, then we never grow—which is the exact opposite of what Jesus wants for us.

It’s okay to be a heretic from time to time if your goal is to learn and grow. What matters with heresy is whether you recognize it as heresy, or as a new truth.

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How to start something new without money or time?

Picking up on yesterday’s thought.

How do you start something new when you don’t have the resources? When God puts a desire to do something in your heart, how do you start before you’re ready?

Objection number 1: No money

There is a ton of money in the world. When you start doing something that matters, the money finds you. You may still have to go look for it. And it may not show up immediately. But having the money in hand is not a disqualifier for starting.

Objection number 2: No time

Time is a reflection of priority. But sometimes, we are legitimately tied up. We’re committed elsewhere already. And that’s okay. But once you’ve realized God has something for you, it’s your job to start saying no. No more new things that conflict. It’s hard. But saying no to the good makes room for the great.

In the meantime, before you have the money or the time, what’s there to do?

Make a plan.

Do you know why 80% of new businesses fail? It’s usually not because they have a bad idea. And mostly it’s not for lack of customers.

Almost always it’s because of a lack of cash flow.

In other words, they didn’t work out a plan to float in between paychecks. And so they fold.

Here’s the thing about us: God created us with a brain. Just because he gives us a job doesn’t mean it’s hands off.

Manytimes, the lack of resources is God’s way of helping us focus on the first steps. The parts we’d skip otherwise.

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How do you know if God’s calling you to do something?

If God’s calling you, there are two questions that will always come with a yes:

Is this moving the kingdom forward?
Do I have peace?

On the first. God won’t call you to something that’s contrary to work of his kingdom. He’s not going to call you to redefine salvation or to start adding books to the Bible.

Instead, his calling is always to join in to the work he’s already got others doing. It’s easy to spot this work, because it’s consistent with what Jesus taught.

There’s still a lot of latitude here. Just like we all have unique finger prints and iris patterns, he’s given us all slightly different work to do. A work that aligns with how he’s made us.

And on the second, we find our greatest peace when we are in harmony with our creator.

Peace doesn’t mean ease. And it doesn’t mean no-friction. As a matter of fact, following God usually makes like harder, not easier.

But when we do, we get a kind of peace we don’t find anywhere else. It’s hard to describe. But it’s there. It’s that feeling that you can’t quite explain, but it tells you that you’re moving in the right direction.

These two factors work in harmony.

The church provides a kind of framework—a collective guidance. While the peace inside of you is God’s direct, personal confirmation.

If you’re hearing a yes to both of these questions, then your next move is forward.

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Just about everyone disagrees with me on this

I don’t believe there is ever a time God wants us to wait.

Not patience, but waiting.

Patience is a different issue. That’s about discipline. Waiting—or inaction—is about motivation.

Let me explain.

Whenever we do something new, there are usually a ton of steps. God’s put something on your heart, and the vision you see is somewhat mature. It’s a complete thing.

But today, before it’s a thing you can talk about, you’re just at step-one…if that much.

One of the biggest objections we face to following God is “not ready yet.” But God doesn’t call us to be ready, he calls us to be willing and to follow.

The ready happens on the way.

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The anti-anxious path

“Do not be anxious”


– Jesus (Matthew 6:25)

The simplicity of this statement does not imply the simplicity of the solution.

Anxiety is not a measure of spiritual maturity, or lack thereof. It’s a weapon from the evil one. And it’s best to think about it like this.

Anxiety at its core is a void. And so our job is to find the right tools to help us replace that void.

For some, the best tool for anxiety is simply a better mindset. For others, it may be the right prescription bottle. That’s okay.

Knowing the difficulty we’d have here, Jesus gives us a guideline to focus on. A few verses later, he concludes with: in all things, “put the the kingdom first.”

Not everything gets fixed in this life. (Jesus did not promise we won’t have anxiety here.) But Isaiah 65 and Revelation 21 both show us a world completely restored. When anxiety will be truly gone.

We know this is coming.

But today, our path is to practice, to learn, to forgive (others and ourselves), and to not give up. That’s how we focus on the kingdom. And that’s how we work toward Jesus’ instruction.

The command is not simplistic. But it is a reflection of hope. Of the bigger (and better) thing to come.

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Top 10 reasons Not to practice spiritual disciplines

Here are the top ten reasons not to practice spiritual disciplines:

Not sure where to start (because it’s all a bit overwhelming)
Doesn’t feel like doing a little is significant enough
Just “not enough time”
Good intentions but distractions usually win
Tired
The whole thing seems a bit boring
Doesn’t seem necessary
Wasn’t taught how to do them
Not even sure what they are
Need to clean up the rest of my life before I begin these

It’s a good thing God’s not bothered by any of this.

And the reasons is because he gave us something to mitigate this problem: the church.

The point of the church is to encourage and strengthen. And the truth is, the more we have real relationships in the church, the more we begin practicing spiritual disciplines automatically.

In other words, success with spiritual disciplines often doesn’t come with more discipline, it comes with leaning into the church.

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