Felicia Denise's Blog, page 31
September 26, 2018
“Life just has a way of dumping too much on us at once… “
Still thinking about the situation with her eldest son, Lenore Porter absently drove home. Pulling her vehicle into the garage, she exited and went through the garage’s rear entrance to her back door… and found Duncan sitting in the old swing near the Sugar Maple tree. He shook his head slowly without meeting her gaze.
“I’m sorry, mom.”
“I’m glad you’re safe, sweetheart.”
“I shouldn’t have run away like that.”
“You were upset. Looks like you still are.”
“I’m not crazy, mama… I’m not.”
Lennie’s chest tightened. He had not called her that since second grade. Sitting her bag at the back door, Lennie walked over and took the swing next to Duncan. They both rocked in the silence until Lenore spoke.
“Most people who go to counseling aren’t mentally ill, Dunc. Life just has a way of dumping too much on us at once,” she touched his hand, “the drowning feeling you mentioned? You’re overwhelmed. It happens to us all at some point during our lives.”
“Have you ever felt like you were drowning, mom?”
“Not drowning so much as… helpless.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Well, don’t take this as clinical or anything, but I knew the problem and I knew the cause. I just couldn’t fix it.”
“Dad.” It was a statement, not a question.
Lennie’s smile was bittersweet. “Yes.”
~~~
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~~~
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September 25, 2018
Interview with Sarina Chandler from the upcoming “Family Matters (In the Best Interest of the Child, Book 2)”
Good day, WordPress bloggers and authors! Today we welcome a very special guest to the blog—Sarina Chandler, from the upcoming Family Matters (In the Best Interest of the Child, Book 2). Sarina is the mother of Books 1 & 2 protagonist, Olivia Chandler.
SC: Excuse me?
FD: Yes, Mrs. Chandler?
SC: Well… technically, I was in book 1, too.
FD: Yes, ma’am you were. But only in a flashback or two, and you weren’t… um, yourself. I thought it best to not approach the subject.
SC: Oh, please! Now you sound like my daughter, not approaching the subject! I was crazy as a loon, out of my mind, off my rocker! It’s not as if I planned it or wanted to be committed to an institution and leave my daughter.
FD: Of course not, ma’am. I’m sorry.
SC: Please call me Sarina… and I’m the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn’t have been short with you. It’s just… I’ve missed most of Olivia’s life and a big part of my own. It angers me, I just have no one to be angry with.
FD: May I ask… when did your mind begin to clear?
SC: It’s been… about a year.
FD: What was the first thing you remembered, Sarina?
SC: *Looks down, fidgets with hands* The accident.
FD: Sarina, if this is too much for you…
SC: No, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’ve been silent for a third of my life. I need to talk, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to share that story first with my daughter. I owe her that… she deserves that.
FD: Not a problem, Sarina. Glad to hear Olivia is coming to see you.
SC: Well…
FD: Sarina?
SC: I don’t know for a fact she is coming.
FD: Pardon?
SC: I talked with Willis a few weeks ago. Willis Benson, the administrator of my husband’s estate. He and Olivia are close. I asked him to see if my daughter would visit me. But… it’s… been a few weeks now, and nothing.
FD: I’m sorry.
SC: Ugh! Stop apologizing already! Olivia and I were separated twenty-eight-years ago! I can’t expect her to make a quick decision for something like this.
FD: Why do you feel it’s such a difficult decision for her?
SC: Felicia, you know the last time I saw my daughter she was a ten-year-old. We had no other family and when I voluntarily came here… Olivia spent time in foster care. I’m told she last visited me five years ago… and I didn’t know who she was. I’m sure she has some resentment issues with me… and I can’t blame her.
FD: Is there a specific reason you want to see your daughter, Olivia, other than simply a mother missing her child?
SC: *Sighs* I need to apologize to her… for leaving her. While it wasn’t intentional or could have been changed, I still left her. Even if she never forgives me or sees me as her mother, I have to say the words.
FD: Why is that so important to you, Sarina?
SC: I had… issues with my parents. Before Ben and I married, I hated them. Afterward, I reached out to them for a fresh start but was ignored. I gave up, but if my mom had softened just a little and acted like she cared about me, I would have been there for her. It never happened. I don’t want to hide behind the walls of this place and allow Olivia to believe I don’t love her. I must try.
FD: I’m sure you will, Sarina. I’m sure you will. I hope Olivia decides to see you.
SC: So do I, Felicia.
FD: Thank you for visiting with us today, Sarina. I know it wasn’t easy.
SC: It’s easier than accepting I’ll never see my child again. She just has to come.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Child-advocate attorney Olivia Chandler has made major progress in overcoming her childhood trauma and issues with abandonment. However, her refusal to see her mother is having a negative impact on her new romance with Bruce Bellamy and everyone Olivia is close to.
Olivia enters specialized counseling for adults who suffer from childhood trauma but hinders her own progress when a major loss sends her spiraling back into the emotional comfort of the shadows in her mind.
With her sanity at risk, Olivia Chandler needs answers to break free from the traumatic stress which holds her captive, but the answers lie with the one person Olivia refuses to see.
Sarina Chandler.
Olivia Chandler’s journey continues in Family Matters (In the Best Interest of the Child, Book 2), coming soon.
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Find out the back story.
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In the Best Interest of the Child
“I can’t wait to read the next installment, and I highly recommend this book to everyone.” -A.C.M., Amazon review
Amazon US – http://bit.ly/BestInt
Universal Link – https://www.books2read/BestInterest
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September 24, 2018
Lenore Porter wants to share her story with you…
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With her marriage over long ago and her adult sons living their own lives, Lenore Porter decides to sell the cold fortress she worked so hard to make a warm, loving home.
A short, final inspection of her former home turns into a confrontation with ghosts from the past, and decisions and events Lennie felt she’d dealt with and moved on from.
Free, a Novella is a short, clean read recounting one woman’s determination to not be broken by life or lose her identity.
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99¢
~~~
September 23, 2018
Song Lyric Sunday | “Dreamlover” – Mariah Carey
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Song Lyric Sunday was created by Helen Vahdati from This Thing Called Life One Word at a Time. For complete rules or to join in the fun, click here.
The theme for Song Lyric Sunday this week is “sleep.”
~~~~~
I sleep so little, I have trouble relating to the concept anymore. But, when I do sleep, I dream. I used two of my fav dream songs last week for the picture/photograph challenge, so let’s move right to number three, Dreamlover by Mariah Carey.
Released on July 27, 1993, as the lead single from her third studio album, Music Box (1993), Dreamlover was written by Carey and Dave Hall. It experienced strong worldwide success, becoming Carey’s seventh chart topper on the US Billboard Hot 100, remaining there for eight weeks. It peaked at number one in Canada, and became a top-ten single in Australia, the Netherlands, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom.
The song pictures a protagonist calling for a perfect lover, her “dreamlover,” to whisk her away into the night and not disillusion her like others in the past.
The video was shot in upstate New York, during August 1993. It includes an appearance by Carey’s dog Jack, and shows Carey dancing in a flowerbed and field, swimming in a large pond, boarding a hot air balloon, and dancing alongside several shirtless male dancers.
Enjoy!
See my Song Lyric Sunday selection on Nesie’s Place.
~~~~~
Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.
Dreamlover
by Mariah Carey
Songwriters: Mariah Carey , Dave Hall
[Verse 1]
I need a lover to give me
The kind of love that will last always
I need somebody uplifting
To take me away, babe, oh yeah, yeah
I want a lover who knows me, yeah
Who understands how I feel inside
Someone to comfort and hold me
Through the long lonely nights ’till the dawn
Why don’t you take me away?
[Chorus]
Dreamlover, come rescue me
Take me up, take me down
Take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won’t you please come around?
‘Cause I want to share forever with you, baby
With you, baby
[Verse 2]
I don’t want another pretender, no
To disillusion me one more time
Whispering words of forever
Playing with my mind, no no
No, no, no, no, no, baby
I need someone to hold on to
The kind of love that won’t fly away
I just want someone to belong to
Everyday of my life, always
So come and take me away
[Chorus]
Dreamlover, come rescue me
Take me up, take me down
Take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won’t you please come around?
‘Cause I want to share forever with you
[Instrumental break]
[Chorus]
Baby, come and take me away
Dreamlover, come rescue me
Take me up, take me down (take me down)
Take me anywhere you want to, baby, now
I need you so desperately (I need you, baby)
Won’t you please (won’t you please) come around?
‘Cause I want to share forever with you, baby
Dreamlover, come rescue me
Take me up, take me down (take me down)
Take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately (Come on, baby)
Won’t you please come around?
‘Cause I want to share forever with you, baby
Compiled from SongFacts.com, Genius Lyrics, YouTube, Wikipedia, and Google
September 22, 2018
#52weeks52stories “Break Away”
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#52weeks52stories: Week 38
Word prompt: hunger
Word count – 182
Reading time – 45 secs
~~~
Trapped among the chaotic masses
I’m jostled, kicked and pushed
My personal space invaded as others try to claim their own
My soul hungers for peace
And I rise into the arms of my family
Where I am sheltered and loved
But the shelter turns into suffocation
And the love turns into obligation
Old hurts are new again
And I am to blame
My soul hungers for peace
And I rise to the side of friends
Where I’m accepted and understood
By those who know me best
And have navigated the highs and lows
Of this life’s journey with me
But acceptance turns into jealousy
And understanding turns into the double-edged sword of betrayal
My soul hungers for peace
And I rise again, alone but not lonely
Enjoying the peace my soul craved
I look down
At the chaotic masses
At my family
At my friends
But they don’t see me
Because they’re not looking up
They’re looking down
Under the souls of their feet
Where they tried to stomp out my dreams
And crush my joy
I smile… and float away
Image from Pixabay
©2018 Felicia Denise, All Rights Reserved
September 16, 2018
#52weeks52stories “the sapling”
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#52weeks52stories: Week 37
Word prompt: foundation
Word count – 100 (A Drabble)
Reading time – 24 secs
~~~
a young sapling struggles to stand
as its roots stretch deep to grasp a firm hold
on a solid foundation from which to pull water and nutrients
that will help it grow tall and proud and withstand
the endless battering of the elements as they try
to make the sapling bend to their will
or fall from its foundation, broken,
but their grips are steadfast, sapling and foundation,
their bond unbreakable even as the sapling matures
stretching it leaves and limbs
out to receive the nurturing blessings of the sun
and become a force of nature in its own right.
Image from Pixabay
©2018 Felicia Denise, All Rights Reserved
Happy Birthday, Henry Louis Gates, Jr!
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Henry Louis “Skip” Gates Jr. (born September 16, 1950, in Keyser, West Virginia) is an American literary critic, teacher, historian, filmmaker and public intellectual who currently serves as the Alphonse Fletcher University Professor and Director of the Hutchins Center for African and African American Research at Harvard University. He has discovered what are considered the first books by African-American writers, both of them women, and has published extensively on appreciating African-American literature as part of the Western canon.
In addition to producing and hosting previous series on the history and genealogy of prominent American figures, since 2012 Gates has been the host for three seasons of the series Finding Your Roots on PBS. It combines the work of expert researchers in genealogy, history, and genetics historic research to tell guests about their ancestors’ lives and histories.
QUOTES
“The first step toward tolerance is respect, and the first step toward respect is knowledge.”
“Censorship is to art as lynching is to justice.”
“Learning to sing one’s own songs, to trust the particular cadences of own’s voices, is also the goal of any writer.”
From Wikipedia and Google.
Song Lyric Sunday | “Walking on Broken Glass” – Annie Lennox
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Song Lyric Sunday was created by Helen Vahdati from This Thing Called Life One Word at a Time. For complete rules or to join in the fun, click here.
The theme for Song Lyric Sunday this week is “glass.”
~~~~~
Walking on Broken Glass was written and performed by Scottish singer Annie Lennox, taken from her 1992 album, Diva. The song reached #1 in Canada, #8 in the United Kingdom and Ireland and #14 in the United States singles charts.
Annie Lennox fans will naturally wonder if Walking on Broken Glass refers to her long, torturous love affair with her ex-Eurythmics partner David Stewart.
The song’s theme of scorned love inspired a classic music video. Director Sophie Muller pulled from period films depicting the late 18th century—including Dangerous Liaisons and Amadeus. Lennox plays an aristocratic lady trying to regain attention from a former lover played by John Malkovich—the star of Dangerous Liaisons. Lennox’s other love interest is played by Hugh Laurie—the future House star played Prince George on the TV comedy Blackadder.
Lennox recalled:
This was a wonderful video to create. There were some wonderful people involved—John Malkovich and Hugh Laurie (before he had an American accent)! That was tremendous fun. The idea of it being a period piece, like Les Liaisons Dangereuses.
Lennox saw a parallel between the film—where a noble woman plots to take revenge against an unfaithful lover—and this song:
The alternative title for ‘Broken Glass’ could easily have been ‘Hell hath no more fury than a woman scorned.’ The video is very wry and tongue-in-cheek. People can take me a little seriously sometimes, but I do actually have a rather radical sense of humor.
Enjoy!
See my Song Lyric Sunday selection on Nesie’s Place.
~~~~~
Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.
Walking on Broken Glass
by Annie Lennox
Written by Annie Lennox
[Hook]
Walking on walking on broken glass
Walking on walking on broken glass
[Verse 1]
You were the sweetest thing
That I ever knew
But I don’t care for sugar honey
If I can’t have you
Since you’ve abandoned me
My whole life has crashed
Won’t you pick the pieces up
‘Cause it feels just like I’m walking on broken glass
[Hook]
Walking on walking on broken glass
Walking on walking on broken glass
[Verse 2]
The sun’s still shining in the big blue sky
But it don’t mean nothing to me
Oh let the rain come down
Let the wind blow through me
I’m living in an empty room
With all the windows smashed
And I’ve got so little left to lose
That it feels just like I’m walking on broken glass
[Hook]
Walking on walking on broken glass
[Bridge]
And if you’re trying to cut me down
You know that I might bleed
‘Cause if you’re trying to cut me down
I know that you’ll succeed
And if you want to hurt me
There’s nothing left to fear
‘Cause if you want to hurt me
You’re doing really well my dear
[Verse 3]
Now every one of us was made to suffer
Every one of us was made to weep
But we’ve been hurting one another
And now the pain has cut too deep
So take me from the wreckage
Save me from the blast
Lift me up and take me back
Don’t let me keep on walking (don’t let me keep on walking)
I can’t keep on walking (keep on walking on)
Keep on walking on broken glass
[Hook]
Walking on walking on broken glass
Walking on walking on broken glass
Walking on walking on broken glass
Walking on walking on broken glass
Walking on walking on broken glass
Compiled from SongFacts.com, Genius Lyrics, YouTube, Wikipedia, and Google.
September 9, 2018
#52weeks52stories “A Mother’s Love”
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#52weeks52stories: Week 36
Word prompt: softball
Word count – 1286
Reading time – 5 mins, 23 secs.
~~~
Kristen Wisdom cursed Greg Gaines for delaying her exit at the end of the workday.
Since her divorce, the accounts payable manager found more reasons to be alone with the senior accounts specialist.
But Kristen wasn’t in the mood for his reindeer games, especially not today. She’d pushed him aside and barreled out the door, blocking out the profanity-laced threats he yelled after her.
“Stuck-up bitch! Guess you don’t need this job.”
That remark made her whirl around to face him.
“I need my job about as much as you need yours, and the only bitch I see is standing in front of a company security system that records video… and audio.”
Horrified, Gaines flung himself backward through the door as though it would erase the security tape.
She fumed as she inched her Camry along in the stop-and-go rush hour traffic. She’d deal with him later.
Men.
Kristen’s day began with her ex-husband, Sean, backing out of today in favor of a Happy Hour birthday celebration for a coworker.
“This is important, Sean. You need to show up.”
“My job’s important too, Kris.”
“Does Happy Hour fall under other job duties as needed?”
“That’s not funny, Kris. You know how the game’s played. I’m up for a promotion and I need to be seen as a team player. Besides, the new position comes with a substantial raise which translates to more alimony and child support for you.”
“Well, that’s different, Sean. Just toss a fistful of dollars at me. That makes everything better in your eyes and erases your guilt. But you’re still an asshole.”
Gripping the steering wheel, Kristen took a deep, cleansing breath.
Norris and Liz Carmichael taught their only child the only obstacles in life were the ones allowed to exist. She’d put her heart and soul into removing barriers for this day to happen. She’d be damned if she allowed two selfish men to ruin it for her.
An idea flashed through Kristen’s mind as she approached the next off-ramp. She zipped off and let out a loud whoop seeing the green light ahead of her. After a left then right turn, she bounced in her seat and pounded the steering wheel, jazzed at the open thoroughfare in front of her.
Eight minutes later, she pulled into the parking lot of the Leon Buford Memorial Recreation Center. Kristen popped the trunk and traded her suit jacket and three-inch pumps for a windbreaker and New Balance runners. Grabbing her blue and gold mom-poms, she raced across the lot to the rear of the rec center.
Rounding the corner of the building, Kristen couldn’t help but smile at the new black-top area paid for by donor dollars.
The bleachers weren’t packed like they would be for a regular game but she was grateful for the crowd of supporters and pleased the local press was there.
She made her way to the front row of the parents’ section and was relieved to find the game had just begun.
The red-and-white-shirted Colts in the field meant the Iron Dragons won the coin toss. She searched for her son in the sea of blue shirts near the dugout. Kristen’s heart sank when she spotted her fourteen-year-old son.
With his elbows on his knees, Nicholas Wisdom rested his chin in his hands.
Her hand went to the center of her chest, rubbing at the tightness forming.
She knew that look.
Nicholas didn’t expect his dad to show, but after not seeing her in the bleachers, he no doubt felt abandoned… again.
The last five years devastated her family.
Kristen’s already rocky marriage was tested and failed when the winter car accident that took her father’s life also put her son in a wheelchair for the rest of his.
Pushing her own grief aside to be there for her son and grieving mother, Kristen had nothing left for her self-involved husband who showed no sympathy… or empathy toward his family.
Less than a year later, Liz Carmichael moved to California to be closer to her aging siblings allowing Kristen to pour all of her time into Nicholas.
The life adjustments were not easy. Besides learning to live life from a wheelchair, it took several months of family counseling to relieve the depressed teen of the guilt he felt for his parents’ divorce.
It was on the way home from one of their last counseling sessions Nicholas screamed out as they drove past a local park and begged his mother to turn around.
Pulling up on the side of the road, they both looked on in awe at the sight before them.
A group of adults was involved in a fast-paced game of softball… from their wheelchairs.
The Wisdoms wasted no time in joining the game’s spectators.
Kristen got a quick history lesson about wheelchair softball and was surprised to learn there was a national governing body with official rules and leagues.
Nicholas was excited to hear there were also junior leagues, but the closest one was five-hundred miles away in the northernmost portion of the state.
Kristen Wisdom had seen enough disappointment in her boy’s face and that day it became her mission to bring youth wheelchair softball to Madison, Ohio.
Several infections and three surgical procedures sidelined Nicholas as teams formed but Kristen kept up her campaign working with parents and doctors to gather corporate sponsorship.
Now, twenty-seven months after Nicholas saw his first wheelchair softball game, he would get a turn at bat and he’d know his mom was there to see it.
It was mom-time.
Removing her windbreaker, Kristen stood on the bench seat and threw her head back, yelling, “Let’s go, Dragons!”
Channeling her inner junior-high-school cheerleader, she danced, bounced, clapped and sashayed through several cheer chants, much to the delight of the other parents… and her boy.
Winded, Kristen dropped back onto her seat as Nicholas approached the on-deck circle.
Denny Miller hit a double sending his teammate to third base.
Nicholas approached the plate and Kristen’s heart was beating like the drum solo in Iron Butterfly’s In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.
The pitcher toyed with Nicholas to either walk him and load the bases or strike him out. But after two balls and one strike, he got too cocky and comfortable and Nicholas was ready, hitting an explosive grounder that sent the sixteen-inch ball speeding past several Colts team members.
Kristen was on her feet cheering as Nicholas rounded the bases so fast, the flame decals on his wheels appeared to flicker.
Two Colts members collided and tumbled from their chairs, giving Nicholas the opportunity to get to third base.
So overcome with excitement and emotions, a wave of dizziness hit Kristen as she watched her son grip his wheels and leaned toward home plate.
Virginia Blanchard was up to bat. Also fourteen, Virginia’s diminutive size made people believe she was younger… and underestimate her. Colts outfielders rolled their chairs in closer.
Virginia wasted no time and sent the first pitch to the fence. The fierce female headed for first base, but Kristen’s eyes were locked onto Nicholas as he sailed into home and the cheers and back-slaps of his teammates.
He gave a thumb’s up to Virginia, who’d made it to second base, and rolled toward the dugout.
Kristen Wisdom was still clapping and cheering when Nicholas stopped and glanced up at her. The smile on his face was brighter than a dozen suns and she erupted into tears.
People around her rubbed her back and passed her tissues but Kristen only cried harder.
She would endure it all—pervy bosses, selfish ex-husbands, rush hour traffic—all of it… every single day just to see her boy’s smile.
Nothing was more important to her.
~~~
National Wheelchair Softball Association
©2018 Felicia Denise, All Rights Reserved
Song Lyric Sunday | “Color of Love” by Billy Ocean
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Song Lyric Sunday was created by Helen Vahdati from This Thing Called Life One Word at a Time. For complete rules or to join in the fun, click here.
The theme for Song Lyric Sunday this week is “pictures/photographs.”
~~~~~
In Billy Ocean’s Color of Love, part of the chorus says, “I see the color of love when I’m thinking of you as a picture perfect painting of love forever true.”
The song is from his seventh solo album, 1988’s Tear Down These Walls, and remains one of my all-time favorite love songs.
Enjoy!
See my Song Lyric Sunday selection on Nesie’s Place.
~~~~~
Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.
Color of Love
by Billy Ocean
Written by Andy Julian Paul / Bruce Dickinson / Toby Matthew Jepson
Ooh ooh ooh
If I had to paint a picture
To show the world how true love can really be
I would use the brightest colors
To create a vision of harmony
It would be a reality
Cause its only what’s inside of my heart
You would see I’ve always loved you right from the very start
Tell me what is the color of love?
What do you see?
Is it warm is it tender when you think of me
I see the color of love when I’m thinking of you
As a picture perfect painting of love forever true
The colors of the rainbow turn grey whenever you’re so far away
It changes like the seasons
You’re the reason it happens that way
What you see are colors of emotion
Reflecting what I feel deep inside
Now I’d like to take a look at emotions that you hide
Tell me what is the color of love?
What do you see?
Is it warm is it tender when you think of me
I see the color of love when I’m thinking of you
As a picture perfect painting of love forever true
And oh though many may try to keep us apart
Oh the colors that I see in you will shine a light to see us through
No matter what the world will do I’ll always love you
Ooh ooh ooh
Oh what is the color of love oh tell me tell me
Oh I want to know I want to know – when I’m thinking of you
As a picture perfect paining of love forever true
Compiled from SongFacts.com, Genius Lyrics, YouTube, Wikipedia, and Google.
