T. Watley's Blog: Heart To Heart - Posts Tagged "insecurity"

Without realizing, I added alot of myself into the 3 lead female characters in A Fantasy Real. One of the things that stuck out to me when I read the finished product was insecurity. This is something that has plagued me my entire life. I have always worried about what people thought of or how people saw me. It has proven to be crippling in some instances as I have gotten older. Writing and having my book published has been a great accomplishment for me. I had to endure the criticisms and rejection from my publishers and readers. It helped my skin get a little thicker. Marketing has been the real challenge. I have to put myself out to the world and await their acceptance or rejections. Some days are harder than others and I shut down completely. What really makes me proud is that I keep going. Even though I may feel like giving up or even say it, I still try again. What is my motivation? My kids. There are 4 people watching my every move. It is so important for me that they know anything is possible if they put their minds to it. That they are just as good as anyone else and they don't have to worry about acceptance as long as they accept themselves. That is what I push for daily, self acceptance. Does it work everyday? No. But if I keep trying I will get there and you will too. There will always be stumbling blocks in life and you will fall. Falling is fine as long as you keep getting up.

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T. Watley
A Fantasy Real: When Life and Lust Collide

I am 37 years old and have been through enough trauma to last a lifetime so motivational talks really irritate me. It's easy for people who haven't seen much anguish to say keep moving, keep pushing, just believe. The triumph, to me, comes when some one has been through hell and hot water and can still be positive. That is not very easy to do. It is hard to recognize the sun when you have only seen clouds. It all starts to look like more sky. How do you find the sun? What do you do to pull yourself up and feel like things will turn around? These are questions I ask myself daily. Some days I feel I know the answers. Others not so much. Maybe there is no difinitive answer. Maybe you should just do what works for you. Maybe it will all wash out in the end. Maybe we are all screwed up. Maybe we aren't. Who really knows? Maybe nobody.
T. Watley
A Fantasy Real: When Life and Lust Collide