Eve Barrett's Blog

Double date – veggie diaries entry

[image error]Exploring new cafes is my thing this week. I had to get the week off work as it was my last chance of paid vacation days. Unfortunately for my budding holiday mood none of my friends regarded me with any response to my messages asking if they wanted to go somewhere fun. I considered doing a last minute food festival, however the weather being particularly disagreeable I decided against it.

Plan so far,

1. coffee shop around the corner which for some unfathomable reason haven’t tried yet.

2. New vegan restaurant in Shoreditch with raving reviews. Need to try the no cheese cheeseburger!!!

3. Walk around Embankment/run around Embankment. Second option gets brownie points.

4. Write cards for Annette, Annie and Ann…that’s what happens when people have triplets!

Well… this list was supposed to be about my food weekly goals.

5. Cook pasta for dinner.

Number five is particularly inspiring. Maybe I’ll add some organic cider to it and a yummy vegan cupcake from the stall around the corner.

I get a message from Ann …

Now if that’s not bizarre…

‘Precious, you’re coming out with me to Rendezvous tonight! Cocktails and fun! No isn’t an option!’

Ahhh…. I don’t think so.

I call, but it goes straight to voicemail.

‘If you’re Claire calling to cancel on tonight address is …’

Oh my…. this is insane. Doesn’t she get work calls on this number? I totally forgot how insanely difficult she is to refuse! I suppose I have to add Randezvous to my list now.

I show up at the bar in a semi casual black and white dress. Casual stands for rebellion, black and white for what appears to be my despairing lack of casual evening outfits. I look like a fancy flower vase. If a do an elaborate hairdo the look would be complete. Alas, my efforts extend to picking out the outfit and donning on some very natural make up. I’m sure I can hear my inner feminist proudly clapping at my resolution to not brother much about my appearance.

Two hours later at the venue I dutifully regret my decision to not take a cab in view of my now very mushy hair courtesy of the dribble outside.

It turns out Ann has very annoyingly set up a double date. Unbelievable !!!

‘So what are you going to have? I find the concept of a restaurant bar thrilling.’

And I find the Brad Pitt wannabe in front of me way too snobbish for my very modest dating standards. He already slashed the food options considering the menu lacks the following ‘exquisite’ according to him choices: foie gras, caviar,  oysters, lobsters, etc, etc….

‘I told Ann let’s go to Rubens. I know the chef and his speciality dish is divine. I was dining there a fortnight ago with the chairman of my bank. We’re best of friends. I’m invited to a polo game next week at his country club. The chairman is one mister Stuart Weizmann,’ he notes with pride.

‘What about the shoes?’ I dutifully wake up mid conversation finally catching something of interest.

‘No dear. We’re talking business.’ He seems somewhat offended and waves to the waiter.

‘Ahhhh… excuse me then. I’ll go to the ladies.’

With the sweetest smile I get up and give Ann a look screaming ‘come if you cherish your life’

‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he’d be such a prick. Honestlly… his friend is the sweeest most humble…’

‘Ok, never mind. I’m hungry. I’m eating and I’m out of here.’

Whem we go back inside the party of two isn’t there anymore. I suppose Ann’s expectations for her ‘humble’ date would be unanswered.

 

 

 

to be continued…

Veggie dating diaries, a day at the market

[image error]I was reading an amusing article this morning on attraction and all the reasons why we fall in love…

First of all, I might raise my hand in an attempt to protest against the gross misconception that one ‘falls’ in love. Certainly, that would hint at inability to keep one’s balance and that can’t  possibly be a good thing. Never mind. I’m overanalysing again. So this article…. by one very renowned Miss Aubrey Henderson suggests that all relationships we have are merely mirrors to us, reflecting back to ourselves. That is to say… and I’m just paraphrasing here…that when we have a moan about how incompatible someone is and how they should really just change… it really means we have that quality ourselves and we should work at improving our own character and become a person we would aspire to be.

Hm… I do have a certain problem with that. For starters, I don’t eat meat so attracting people who do just doesn’t make any sense at all. I don’t subconsciously want to eat it, nor am I unsure about my dedication to spending all my money in the vegan section of Whole Foods. I wonder if it’s a subconscious thing… I’m overthinking again. But then… it’s terribly cruel to pick up leafy greens at the supermarket without a soul to share my excitement with. Alas… I can always just not talk about it.

I put the book down and look at my emails for a moment. I scroll down through all the work emails until I see something that catches my attention. There’s a new market opening in town specifically for vegans. See, I’m definitely sending out all the right vibes. Why doesn’t it work for guys then? It’s particularly odd…

I message my friend Jessie and she immediately responds… only to say she has a fever and would be terrible company. I must venture out on my own then… the email also has a voucher for twenty percent off and I’m sure my bank account would appreciate the consideration.

Twenty minutes later the idea doesn’t seem that enticing anymore. I’m out purposefully dressed as casually as I could manage for a Sunday and I’ve already seen not one but two guys I’ve been on a date with. That’s just bizarre. One was referred to as Mister Pudding as he kept requesting some special ‘pudding’ for desert in all the four places we went searching for it despite the fact he was unable to describe what it was made of. He was persistent and promised to take matters further, whatever that meant… I never found out as we never met again. My inability to offer the coveted pudding meant I wasn’t worthy enough of his company.

The other one was referred to as mister Christmas hat as I saw that one picture of him on Nosebook (as I refer to Facebook) and after that I could just never look at him without seeing Christmas lights dangling from his head. I kept imagining him dancing in his Christmas underwear and even though for the most part I love everything related to my favourite time of the year that was just about the cherry on top. Besides, he kept trying to redirect all our dates to his apartment… sometimes not even with subtlety.

Thankfully, my hair is so extremely messy today I managed to cover my face with it looking like Cousin Itt from the Addams Family. My appearance at the moment is the epitome of attractive… ripped jeans… slightly torn anorak. For the record, I’ve been too busy overthinking all morning to notice the rip. Also, my face broke out. Whoever says vegans are always healthy certainly hasn’t had any Oreo busicuits… or a pack of them….maybe two. I hope that’s not held against me.

Finally at the market I notice the amount of people and I feel like I’m at a mystical congregation of sorts. Colourful outfits confuse my vision and I attempt to direct my gaze to anything that resembles green…which doesn’t take too long.

A beautiful middle aged woman looks at me and points to an offer at her stand. Despite the fact I most certainly don’t need two bags of salad or whatever the leaves

A Trip to the Supermarket – Part 2

[image error]‘Let’s go to the organic store that just opened at the corner,’ I eagerly suggest to my housemate.

She stares blankly as a response.

‘Pretty please. They were closing last time I walked past. Thinking about it is disrupting my sleep.’

‘Aha… ok then. But that’s not what I was referring to when I said let’s go grab a drink,you know!’

‘They have an amazing selection of organic teas.’

‘Again, that’s not what I meant! I’m dragging you tomorrow to Barney’s for a cocktail! You owe me one.’

‘Ok. Fine…let’s go.’

Five minutes later we’re at the veggie delirium and I feel like I’m hyperventilating. Everywhere I turn I’m welcomed by the comforting shade of green. Spinach, kale, something I don’t know the name of, and something else I also don’t know the name of, tempt me into aromatherapy of fresh! This is like some utopian …

‘Omg, they have meat in here!’ My housemate enthusiastically proclaims and it takes me but a moment to realise ‘organic’ unfortunately expands to meat. My utopian idyll is over.

I look around for a moment and my gaze falls upon a gorgeous man in his early thirties scanning the milk shelf. After about half a minute of contemplating between the almond and coconut milk he goes with the first option and my face lights up with the gleam of approval. If that doesn’t give me orgasmic pleasure nothing else will…I start walking over to him when I look more closely at his basket and come to the realisation he’s my potential soulmate. I stop in my tracks suddenly aware of my appearance and look around for something resembling a mirror. I approvingly nod at myself thinking my outfit is in the perfect medium of glam and casual for an encounter with my potential soulmate.

Satisfied with my appearance I mentally high-five myself and approach the guy I’ve now decided is my future husband. A girl blocks my path and when she finally moves away I see him heading to the meat section of the store. I suddenly feel dizzy and hold onto something which turns out to be a bottle of cashew milk. There’s a thud and a moment later I realise, albeit with a certain doze of embarrassment, that I’ve caused a mini havoc and there’s milk pouring on the floor courtesy of my drooling.

I look in horror as he decides between pork and chicken and have to turn around to contain my disgust. And it was going oh so well…

My housemate picks that exact moment to come with a basket full of beef and for a moment I wonder if somehow the universe is acting out on an impulse to ruin my mood. So far, the attempt has been hugely successful!

I head for the veggie isle and comfort myself with the sight of broccoli and colliflower. It’s boiled vegetables for dinner tonight…

 

 

To be continued…

When you get accused of having an attitude – Part 1

[image error]Excerpt, A Veggie’s Dating Diaries…

 

Today is one of those days when I know I shouldn’t have even left the house. Correction, I shouldn’t have left the house to go on a date with a stranger who insisted we go to a steakhouse. In my defence, I didn’t realise that until after reading the menu and then it started raining. Basically it was like a hurricane outside. I’m just saying we couldn’t leave after that point. I know, excuses. Never mind. I did find a started I could have and simultaneously pretend I’m on a fashionable diet of pumpkin, watercress and mint.

My date ordered the steak apologetically and after faking a smile I decided to stare at the wine bottle, which does look quite impressive.

‘So you don’t eat meat at all?’ he casually asks while placing the napkin on his lap. I follow suit in order to appear somewhat knowledgeable of dinner protocol.

‘No, never,’ I say thinking the conversation is over.

‘Have you ever eaten meat?’ he continues, clearly keen on nudging my life choices out of me.

‘Yes, I used to eat it every day.’

This isn’t going great. I’m sensing this conversation will soon go into preach territory if he pushes any further. And here I thought I would just have enjoyable dinner and a drink and make my merry way home after.

‘So don’t you miss the taste of it?’ he asks again.

I look at him for a moment before I answer and consider my options.

‘No, not at all. I don’t like the taste of it anymore.’

At this moment the waiter delivers the food and places the steak my date ordered in front of me. I politely correct him and eye my peanuts. I’m aware I might be getting ever so slightly agitated at this evening’s proceedings. Never mind. There’s always dessert.

‘But how do you get your protein?’

I purse my lips pretending I’m battling with my pumpkin, then the knife slips out of my reach and falls on the floor with a thud. I forgot to mention I’m kind of clumsy as well.

‘Yes, you don’t need meat for protein.’

‘Of course you do.’

He’s more adamant now and I look at the somewhat neglected knife on the floor. I suppose I should pick it up. Thankfully, the waiter walks back and gives me a new one.

I fumble with the fork messing the beautiful display of vegetables on my plate somewhat anticipating that slipping out of my hand as well. I manage to splash some oil on my newly washed and beautifully ironed white shirt and my date laughs. It’s got to be the protein talk.

‘Actually not. All you need is a combination of the amino acids that make it up. That’s how animals get it. Simples.’

Ok, too late now. I’m already preaching. I’m thinking of that Meerkat advert on TV and realise I’m way too distracted now. Slightly agitated I realise I won’t be ordering a dessert if he keeps talking about my vitamin intake insufficiency.

‘I don’t think I’d ever be able to do that. I like my meat.’

Now I’m consciously doing an eye-roll. I try to close my eyes for a moment and go back to my happy place ignoring the urge to pour our a torrent of counter-arguments that will be to no avail. Even worse, I sense this wouldn’t be the greatest time to show him documentaries about animal cruelty on Youtube. Happy place it is. I’m already thinking about my breakfast tomorrow, apple jam and vegan butter with croissants. Also, I’ve recently discovered brilliant hazelnut cupcakes I suddenly feel an urge to splash out on. The more the merrier.

Distant mumbling interrupts my thoughts and slowly reminds me I’m in fact in a public place with someone who is requiring my attention.

‘So do you eat fish?’ he starts again and I feel I’m no longer present.

I look at my phone, then at my date, then at the phone again and realise it’s taxi time.

Dating as a vegetarian is a difficult endeavour.

 

To be continued…

 

 

 

Not a friend, but a foe…

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It’s 2017 and since I don’t want to spoil yet Confessions book two I’ll share another little something from book one with you.

Excerpt:

‘Unfortunately for me that’s exactly what she does next.

‘Hi, was it Maria?’ she starts as she rudely sits at my table.

I would have definitely forgotten her name too were it not for the time I spent on the Internet researching her.

‘Anna, actually.’ I decide to not be cordial if she’s going to be a badly behaved snob in my presence and attempt to get back to my tart.

‘You were at the party with James.’

Now she’s just stating the obvious. What’s her goal here? I sense it’s to agitate me so much I start pulling her by the hair, which might just happen.’

A Christmas present!

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Have a very merry Christmas, everyone! I have a little treat for you. My romantic comedy is available for free until the 27th on Amazon. US link below.

Link to US site

‘Glitter and glamour, deception and betrayal, and humour to mix it all up. The perfect form of escapism.’

Have a peek!

 

My book is free on Amazon this weekend only!

Hey, everyone!

My book ‘It’s Complicated: Confessions of a Modern Day Cinderella’ is available for free this weekend only on Amazon worldwide.

Posting an excerpt from Chapter One below,

‘So I took my boyfriend’s credit card and went to the most expensive hotel I could find from my five-minute Internet search. My resolution is to find out what his card limit is, obliterate his daily allowance until I feel numb, and erase from my mind the grotesque image of him kissing another girl. My friend Sarah is keeping me company and also trying to keep my mental stability in check so I don’t go around breaking things in a full on rage fit.

At reception acting a bit more drunk than I actually am I request the most expensive room they have. So that’s booked. Bummer! Next one down it is. I am maybe a bit too excited, sweet revenge is doing something to me. Clearly when he finds out he’ll be super pissed off and then we could potentially have the most amazing sex ever or just break up. Whatever, really! At this moment I just want to let go, free myself of all those silly emotional attachments that serve no other purpose but to break my heart over and over again. I want to be strong, I want to feel strong, and most importantly, I want to finally say ‘no’ to bloody hormones controlling my life. I’m not the cute doll face I always appear to be, the doll that’s suddenly going to break. I’m finally my true unperturbed by mere circumstances self and it’s awesome. What alcohol does to a person! It’s magnificent! I have all of this creative energy within me, feel like a complete goddess, and that’s when I’m in a state when normal people would probably be falling over because they can’t keep their damn balance. Oh, alcohol the great! I swear the thing needs a monument now!

Sorry, so I book this ridiculously expensive room, go in and…Oh my god, you know when you go somewhere and everything is so in place you just want to disrupt. And that’s nothing to do with me being potentially drunk, which I clearly am, you just want to disrupt because it’s way too perfect. I know it’s a hotel but it feels like a laboratory. Like what the hell! Music! That’s the first thing I need and I clearly don’t know a thing because the gazillion TV channels utterly confuse me. I turn on the radio instead and it’s nothing impressive, but since I don’t have the energy to search for something better at this particular moment it will do. Sarah is totally at home here, I clearly need more experience with such establishments.

Anyway, since I’m feeling all classy I actually want to listen to some opera, but maybe a cry fest might seem like a bad idea. Opera confuses me when I’m drunk and also makes me think of a certain someone who I should not be thinking about, since he did the naughty thing of shattering my heart into a million pieces beyond repair. Oh, that escalated quickly! No opera for me then.

Suddenly I realize Sarah is not in the bedroom anymore. Confused, I wander to the bathroom and I find her checking the labels of the toiletries. She tells me something about their names I totally miss because suddenly my phone starts ringing. Well, that took its time. My so-called boyfriend must have finally realized his card was missing and now he is calling me. I mean he could just call the bank and cancel it. Then I would quickly get escorted out of the building. I suppose it’s the fact he cheated on me that stops him from going with the obvious choice. I shudder in disgust at the image of his face touching hers so intimately! God! I need brain bleach to erase the vile memory from my mind. Their lips were literally stuck together. Men! I suppose I don’t really understand them.

I mean sex is great. Absolutely worth shattering! And yet he cheats. He kisses another and lets me leave without a feasible attempt to stop me. I understand that he might have been confused and in shock, but give me a break! I was the one in utter agony at seeing them together, hand in hand, lips touching… Oh, I don’t even want to think about it anymore. Phone is off until tomorrow.

Now that my phone is off I realize I have no clue what to do. I try to maybe just relax and listen to music, but that’s easier said than done with my mind in a frenzied, uncontrollable turmoil.

Sarah finally gave up on me and went to the bar downstairs, so I’m pretty much left alone to my thoughts and the crappy music streaming from the radio station. Since my last thoughts were about men, let’s just circle back to that, as it’s the only thing bent on occupying my mind at the present moment.

My boyfriend (quite possibly an ‘ex’ by this point) spends way too much time in front of the mirror. That’s a problem. You know when you start looking at one of those fashion magazines and see all those dolled up guys. I know I’m in a substantial minority here, but I find absolutely nothing attractive about them. It’s hilarious really. I would have the ruggedly handsome anytime. Ruggedly handsome and rich, that’s my ideal man. Too bad my boyfriend also seems to be way too spoilt with attention. I refuse to try to understand and all judgement will be withheld. True, I might be entirely too selfish for his liking. I pretty much only do what I want in this relationship. He doesn’t really want much, though, so it’s not like I’ll try to initiate something. Heaven forbid he starts thinking I want more. We all know where pushy will get me. On second thought, being not pushy got me here, so maybe I should get back to you on that.

Finally, there’s a knock on the door.’

***

For the rest and all for free…3rd and 4th of December only!

Link for Amazon US,

https://www.amazon.com/Its-Complicated-Confessions-Modern-Cinderella-ebook/dp/B01KYQ4XAM/ref=sr_1_18?ie=UTF8&qid=1480799074&sr=8-18&keywords=it%27s+complicated

Check it out and leave a review after. I hope you enjoy it.

Eve

New Book Cover on Amazon!

My book is Free on Amazon!

Hello, everyone! I decided to treat you all to a romantic read for the weekend and posted my book as Free on Amazon until Sunday the 18th, so hurry up and get your copy! You can download it now, read later, and don’t forget to leave a review.

Enjoy!

 

Link below!

Free ebook

 

A Little Treat

Hey, so I’ve decided to treat you all to some quotes from the book or … Anything funny related that didn’t make the final cut for whatever reason, but is nevertheless related to ‘Confessions..’

I have this habit of writing down anything that comes to mind I would consider funny, useful, or just odd enough to deserve a place in my notebook. If I don’t it is lost forever.

So here we go….

You’ll have to tell me if those quotes are in the book or simply related to its content!

1. ‘You know you’ll never fit in their perfectly arranged upper class world, don’t you!’ (Someone) to Anna

2. ‘When you go anywhere in the morning you need to give yourself extra time to be an idiot and potentially get on the wrong bus or train or even platform for that matter.’

3. ‘I’m in a complicated relationship with my morning alarm.’

4. ‘I give up. You know what giving up looks like? Me right now.’

5. ‘He wins a grin from her. Well, it’s not that difficult; he grins at everyone.’

So that’s all for today and message me with anything you want to see and with feedback when you read the book!

❤️