Kate Merrick's Blog

The Need for Peace

Hello friends! It’s been so long… I’m not even sure where to start or what to say. It feels like a first date, all over again;) Being off the grid for the last year has felt nourishing to me. Dialing back on speaking engagements has given me space to just be. Not pouring my heart out to a room full of strangers on a regular basis, or publishing my every thought has given me space to do some deeper healing, to sort those thoughts just between me and Jesus. It’s been life-giving, nourishing, and restful.

I woke up early this morning with my brain full of thoughts realizing how sometimes, I understand things a little better if I write them down. I knew I had some friends who might sit and listen to me ramble, so this is me processing with you. Thanks for being here:)

It’s been over a year since I posted anything, and y’all, what a year. We have all watched our world turn inside out, upside down, and I know each of us has or is experiencing anxiety and sadness on new and different levels than any of us thought possible. There has been loss of loved ones, loss of jobs, loss of friends over political views, loss of security, loss of peace, loss of normalcy. I’m not here to polarize anyone further with my personal views, I’m not here to persuade anyone to think one way or another about the state of our world.

What I am here to do, is help us to find a little peace.

God often speaks to me in the early hours before the sun rises. How do I know it’s His voice? It’s one of calming when my thoughts swirl. It’s one of love when all I can think of is hurt. It’s one of steadfastness when all I feel is out of control. So before I share what He’s saying to me in the murky predawn this morning, I want you to open your heart to the God of the universe who is absolutely crazy for you. I want you to let Him help you stop the continuous loop in your brain, trying to solve all your problems, and fix your thoughts on Him.

You know He’s with you? Right here, right now. Waiting for you to hand over a little of your burden, my burden. You know you can speak to Him any time, anywhere, and in any way? Paul tells us in Romans that the Holy Spirit prays for us in groanings too deep for words. Have you ever just groaned out a prayer? I know I have.

But recently, I’m experiencing how God communicates in pictures, how all throughout scripture God gives visions, dreams, pictures that have deep layers of meaning. He is still in the business of talking to His people this way, and if you belong to Him, you are privy to this style of love letter from God.

So, I’m in my bed this morning, thoughts all over the place. The things that are bugging me, the difficult situations, the hard conversations, the worries, the fears, the tears. I’m working them over and over in my mind, trying to unravel the knots, thinking that if I worry hard enough, replay that conversation enough times, think of enough different scenarios of all the things on my plate, that I can find resolution.

But a wise counselor who studies Jesus and neuroscience recently told me this: all that does is cement that narrative in my brain. And that becomes the place I live from, a place of unrest, of striving, of chaos.

Well, that about blew my mind. How often do we think of things on a continuous loop, replaying that scenario, looking for resolution but finding that it’s making it worse? Are we even aware that’s the effect our worrying has?

Recently I did a teaching on rhetoric—persuasive speech—both false and true, and it’s place in our relationship with God and in our well-being (or lack thereof). Perhaps I’ll write a short series, a synopsis of that concept for you, my friends. I know I woke up today needing to hear it again, so my motives aren’t entirely altruistic.

In the meantime, I’ll leave a few crumbs for you to follow. Most importantly, today, is our need for peace.

I’m asking y’all to join me in my quest to hear God’s voice, what he’s saying to me for my good, to you for your good. So as you quiet yourself, ask God to speak to you in Scripture, in pictures, in song, in nature, in dreams, or through a friend. And as you allow God to take your thoughts from what you’re trying to resolve through worrying or obsessing, allow him to give your thoughts new direction.

The Message translation of Philippians 4:8 says this, “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”

So, for peace and harmony today, I ask you: what is true? What is lovely? What is the best, not the worst? What is beautiful, not ugly? Think about these things, dwell on them. Let them soak through you and cover you in His light.

He is with you, friends. He is with me.

Peace and love,

kate

A Little Help Here?

Hey all! Happy Fall!

I hope you are rolling around in bright orange leaves, raiding Trader Joe’s for all the pumpkin things, lighting all the spicy candles, or like me, your sunburned face is peeling off from surfing these little fall swells:) But, if you happen to have offspring, the one thing we are all doing a little more of these days is parenting.

Listen, I’m really careful about what I share, as this blog is a platform for me to encourage through writing, but this one deserves our time and attention as I believe it falls in the category of encouragement. My dear friend Monica (author of Boy Mom, a legit manual for raising rad boys, and podcaster The Boy Mom Podcast) has put together this course to help moms raise their kids up with godly character with confidence.

I’m so serious when I say that Monica is raising some of my favorite boys on the planet next to my own son. I have the honor of hosting them on occasion, one being an up and coming competitive surfer Britt shapes for, and two others students at Westmont in my neck of the woods.

Y’all, raising kids is no joke. The stakes are high, we have to take it seriously. And we need support, we need wisdom, we need backup, WE NEED IT ALL. I’m on the tail end of my son’s teen years, and while I still can use the help, I’m enjoying the fruit of a deep relationship with my son. And my Fifi is just 6 years old, with the years in my home stretching out like the long road parenthood is. Mamas, raising kids is a gift, and investing in the job is totally worth it.

The course includes lessons, videos, guest interviews, downloads, basically all the things to help equip us to raise these crazy kids with character. It’s so relevant, so helpful. I believe in and appreciate Monica’s teaching as well as all of her awesome guests. I’m so in.

And if you decide not to do the course, I highly recommend subscribing to her blog. I look forward to her weekly emails even though we chat all the time!

The course signup is live right now and ends October 2 at 5pm CST. Click here for more deets.

Ok, chin up and all that sort of thing! Big love from me to you.

xo

kate

Whelp...

So, this happened. Puppies. In May, a sweet little black dog showed up at the ranch and refused to leave. So naturally, as one does when a pretty little puppy shows up on her doorstep, we built her a doghouse and decided to add her to the family. A couple weeks into her new life we discovered Poochie was losing her waistline… and it wasn’t just “the covid-19." (haha) We fell in love with a pregnant dog! And so, 7 weeks later we welcomed 8 new puppies into our barn.

Sometimes things appear one way, then bam! They change. One minute you’re dog-free and proud, and the next you have 9 perky puppies rolling around in the grass and pooping faster than you can scoop it. It’s insanity. But if there’s one thing we’ve all learned from life in the time of coronavirus, things are not what we had expected. Not our plans, not our careers, not our health. What’s here today could be gone tomorrow, and anyway, who has any idea what tomorrow will look like?

It’s a lot.

These past months I feel like I went into hiding—all my speaking events were cancelled, I”m not working on a writing project, and just flying way under the radar. And while that’s something I truly love, I started to do two things: question my purpose and feel irritated by all the interruptions. For some reason, we humans love to have a roadmap and then fly straight on that thing ‘til we get to the goal. We like neat and tidy, predictable, we like accomplishment and accolades and “smooth travels.” And I think that until the worldwide pandemic hit, those of us who were experiencing bumps in the road of any sort felt like we were the odd ones out. Now, the whole stinking world is there, all together, confused.

So I know you’re with me, feeling like you need to recalibrate your purpose, how you spend the time God gave you (which, for the record, is the same 24 hours in a day as the rest of humanity). And with a million voices coming at us competing in volume, we desperately need clarity.

Then I remembered something I’ve always known, that distractions are real life. This is it. This is our life. Not our plans, not our wishes. This is it, however it looks. So whether we are working extra or not at all, whether we are homeschooling for the 10th year or for the first time, whether we feel stranded or scared or exasperated, this is it.

It sounds depressing, but it’s not, I think. In fact, it’s pretty sweet. So what’s the bottom line? Honestly, I think what it boils down to is this: love God and love others.

That’s it.

Love God, love your people. Sometimes that looks like a lot of dishes. Sometimes it looks like working through anxiety with a child. Sometimes that looks like making bean burritos for teenagers or a long talk with someone younger than you about life and faith. Sometimes that looks like working extra hours to keep a roof over their heads. Sometimes that looks like a gentle word to an angry stranger, it could look like reassuring a toddler. It looks like open hands and patience and food and mindfulness of other people. It looks like laying down our own agenda in order to consider someone else more important than ourselves. And it doesn’t look shiny or publicly acclaimed or fancy, but Jesus wasn’t shiny or fancy and eventually got the ancient version of “cancelled.”

Love God. Love people.

And you know what else? Discipleship. Jesus said to go and make disciples. He didn’t say to make sure everything stayed the same, he didn’t say to wait for times to get better, he didn’t say to hang your heart on government or media or money or health or all the things that are unstable. None of that changes the beauty of bringing another person into our lives—that’s discipleship. Teaching someone how to make a bed, that’s discipleship. Talking through what you know about how to seek God and hear truth, that’s discipleship. Solving conflict between siblings, teaching someone how to cook on the cheap, sharing something true with your people, stopping your life to meet a need, that’s discipleship. It looks real, it looks simple.

Simple, but not always easy. Because sometimes stray dogs come with puppies and the cost is much more than you agreed to. But so is the prize. So today, be encouraged! You don’t need to fix the world’s problems, you only need to love God and love people. It will look different for each one of us, but if we can stay in the love lane, we are crushing it. And something beautiful will be born in it you might even be able to hold in your hands. Maybe relational health. Maybe spreading peace. Maybe receiving peace. Maybe renewed strength and purpose and courage.

You can do this.

love,

kate

P.S. When dogs give birth, it’s called “whelping.” See what I did there? ;)

Fancy a Book Club While Quarantined?

Hey friends! This is my dear friend and adventure buddy Allie Marie Smith, founder of Wonderfully Made, a super cool non-profit that exists to help young women to know their worth. Allie asked if I’d like to do a book club with her and her community this month, and I replied with a breathless and overly energetic “yes!” and now I’m inviting YOU, my community! Because you’re cute.

Together we will be going through Here, Now, which is strangely appropriate for the quarantine life;) I mean, come on! We have all found ourselves coming to a screeching halt and wondering what on earth to do about it. Honestly, my heart is for each of us to be able to face our lives head-on no matter the circumstances, which takes courage and the practice of presence, and has big, huge benefits. Please join us as we take some time out to read together, think together, to shift and move into the powerful places God has set before us. I want that for you, I want it for me. Now’s the time!

So, whether you’ve already read it but want to log on and chat about it, or whether you’re like, “wait, you wrote a book?” you are welcome here. If you’re sick to death of people telling you what to do with your quarantine, you’re welcome here. If you read the book and hated it, you’re welcome here (sort of). If you just want more details on the nude beach scene in the book, you’re welcome here. And, if you need a little courage in this weird life, you’re welcome here.

Here’s the 411 in case you’re interested:

It starts April 22nd and goes 4 weeks. The first week kicks off with Allie interviewing me via Zoom, the second and third weeks you will get emails of encouragement that include journaling questions from both me and Allie. And it ends with a fun Virtual Book Club gathering via Zoom, which is super fun for me, since that means I’ll get to see the faces of the people I write for and chat a bit!! I do hope you’ll join us. Come on, just do it!

To sign up (it’s free, BTW) click here, and you’ll get more details from Allie.

As always, please know I appreciate and love you.

xo

kate

The King of All Things Heartbreaking and Hopeful

Today is Palm Sunday. Today is the day Jesus rode into Jerusalem, fulfilling prophecy (Zechariah 9:9), displaying his humble kingship. Jesus, the God-man, a man who has the power to calm wind and waves, a man who heals at a word, a man who seeks out those who are low in class and reputation and means, a man who respects and encourages and frees women. A man, essentially homeless, without status or pomp or money or any of the things we look for in a leader. No fanfare, no glitter, no designer robes.

As he rides, palm branches sway and humanity swells around the action as the volume rises with hope-filled voices. Men and women clothed in frustration of Roman government, frustration of work and family and survival. Each having a depth of need, a desire to worship yet also to be seen. A desire for justice yet a desire to go with the crowd. 

“Praise God! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” The people shout as he rides a donkey into town. They don’t realize they are the same ones to shout “crucify him!” in a few short days. Their hope is contingent on popular opinion. Let that not be our way, it changes by the hour.

Today is Palm Sunday. It is the day to see the ways Jesus has come so that we can understand God’s crazy love. To see how he has reached out to each of us, right where we are. The worrier. The winner. The addict. The image-conscious. The harlot. The broken. The depressed, the fearful, the prideful. The leaders, the followers, the opportunists. The confident and the crushed. The self-righteous and the self-seeking.

We who put our hope in wellness. We who put our hope in plenty. We who put our hope in masks and gloves and distancing. We who put our hope in income or influence or relationships or gain or power or government or our own strength. Let us be there, waving palm branches at the one who is the source of hope. The source of healing. The source of justice and provision and peace and joy. Welcome him into your day, friends. Welcome him. 

I’ve been watercoloring this week, practicing mixing colors, trying the wet on wet technique and spending time in prayer. Watching how the paint and water bleed into itself and make something more beautiful than I could do by trying to put the paint where I want it to go. Today, spend time with Jesus doing something that reminds you that he is more beautiful than you can imagine or create. That he is King, one that knows the struggles of humanity yet one who willingly experienced them to be with us. Plant a seed, write a poem, play some chords on a ukulele, hold a child. All this beauty is a gift from a king, one who sees you today in all your fears, all your hurts, all your needs. He sees you, he has got you. 

Love,

Kate

So Many Questions, and Cut it Off

Every year at Christmastime, this legendary picture gets some quality air time. Feast your eyes on this baby. No, this is not an Awkward Family Photo, this is me (and Britt), around the same age my son is now. Which means that this photo is officially a throwback. I have mixed feelings about the whole affair, so please, allow me to be vulnerable with you and ask some honest and raw questions.

Where are my eyebrows?

Why the neck beard?

How did crushed velvet come back in style so quickly? And why am I re-buying the trends I already lived through? (Doc Marten, I’m looking at you.)

Why are Britt’s pants voluminous enough to make a sail (or large shelter) if he crashed on a deserted island?

What ever happened to wood paneling?

How did Britt’s parents allow him to date a girl in such a short skirt?

Why would I go out with a guy who wore that sweater? Or had that mustache?

How did I end up marrying that guy?

But the worst (best?) part is, and what my kind and loving mother in law has made sure to eradicate the evidence of, is that I had on a short overall-skirt thing that my clueless 19 year-old self didn’t realize was totally showing the camera my skivvies. So, like a wise and innovative pre-photoshop wiz, she busted out the scissors and cut it off.

That’s what people who love you do for you, they cut things off in your life that you aren’t aware of, just for the sake of love. And now, what would have overshadowed the whole photo with even more shame, made way for a sweet memory and a good laugh. Just a little editing, just a little purposeful trim, can change the big picture.

I’m older now. I’ve seen some life. And I can tell you with confidence that God is a giver, not a taker. That sometimes a little cutting off of things in our lives makes way for the better things. If God is doing this in you, be sure of this: He loves you. He is creating a truer, more beautiful picture of your life and sometimes it takes the sharp sting of scissors.

What in you needs cutting off right now? Not just for the sake of embarrassment, but for the sake of peace? Of love? Of joy? What in your life can you toss out so that the beautiful things can shine through? Is it a habit? An app? Is it mental clutter or actual clutter that crowds out the good? Is it noise you’ve allowed into your heart or home that’s so loud you can’t hear the angels sing? Maybe it’s perspective or messages you’re getting from culture. Cut some things, my friends, so the good can be seen more clearly. Hand those scissors to a God who pursues you.

Friends, we are on the home stretch in Advent. This is our chance! To give to someone in need, to hug your grandma. This is our chance to sing in the streets, to turn our eyes to the stars. This is our chance to dwell on the Incarnation, the radical-ness of a God who chose to become human to show us what love looks like. And to love him in return.

And when love looks a lot like dirt, like sweat, like outcasts and humility and joy. Like stars and gold and kingly gifts. Like making room, like chasing after the ones who are running. Like food and candles and music and fire, I’m here for it.

It’s Christmastime, my loves! Let the scissors fly so the light can shine in!

Love,

kate

Hey Girls!

I am the luckiest! This Saturday in San Diego I get to combine two of my absolute favorite things: rad girls and speaking life! I get to tell a room full of 1,000 girls something really, really good, and I can’t wait. My heart beats for girls growing up and navigating life. Maybe it’s because Daisy would be 15 now, or maybe it’s because I still feel young. Maybe it’s because I want to see every single girl walking in confidence and courage, or maybe it’s because I understand the love of Jesus a little more every day, but I LOVE this age group.

The Anchored in Love conference is for young women ages 12+ and is a super fun day of crazy encouragement, amazing worship, new friends, a marketplace, and best of all, some serious truth and freedom. If you or someone you know is in the area, please come!!! There are still tickets available. Click this link to register and get more information. If you come, please find me so I can give you a big ol’ squeeze! I’m speaking first in the lineup, so don’t be late. You’ll also hear spoken word, encouragement from Bethany Hamilton ( legendary status!), and just general awesomeness:)

I know I’m being bossy, but you seriously have no excuse not to come if you live anywhere in Southern California! The tickets are inexpensive and there is scholarship available if you can’t swing it. Or if you’re feeling spendy you can buy a ticket to the after party (it benefits Wonderfully Made and Friends of Bethany) and get some fun swag and meet Bethany!

It’s a joy to be speaking along with all these rad, powerful women above, so please join me and get your favorite girl to the conference

Just Practicing

Fifi caught this fish. We were camping in the Sierras near Mammoth Lakes. I heard the squeal coming from around the corner, the crowing of a little girl who had stepped out in courage and got a shocking and delightful return on her investment. As her dad lifted the trout for her to hold in her pudgy and uncertain hands, it sprang out and onto the dirt, trying to escape its destiny for the frying pan. Gasping for water, the satiny, spotted fish flopped around splattering mud all about. The deciding moment between tears or triumph. And yet, as dad picked it up with deft hands, as Fifi presented it to the camera, all was well. The courage of a little girl, trying something new—intoxicating with possibility.

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that rarely do we get stuff right the first time we give it a try. I’ve been thinking lately about all the facets of my current life, all the things I want to do and do well: mothering, writing, wifing, walking with God, and friendships. I keep mulling over the fact that for many years I expected myself to just know how to do it. To just do it right every time and berate myself if I dropped the ball. I should know how to guide my kids, I should know how to care for my own and others’ souls and bodies. I should know how to communicate what God is teaching me, I should know how to forgive. I should know how to speak life, how to give grace, how to walk in freedom. I should know how to behave, how to show respect, how to experience emotional health. I should know these things.

But this week, as I grow one year older, I feel brand new at so much of it. I see how I’m just practicing. We all are.

All the loveliest things in life, all the most imperative and indispensable things are not something we just know, but are things needing to be learned. To be learned then to be practiced, to be done over and over until mastered. I have yet to master grace. Forgiveness. Right thinking. Presence. Courage. Kindness. Contentment. I must practice.

And while we would rather be effortless in everything we do, and while it sounds exhausting and insurmountable to have mud splattering about while the thing we are practicing wildly flops, I’ve found it’s actually the opposite. Refreshing. Restoring. The most life-giving thing about it all is found in the practice. In the doing over and over—the I’m sorry’s. The kind words. The uninhibited prayers. Repeating a worthy thing until the edges have worn smooth, until it’s ingrained in our being and becomes second nature. We practice, even while hitting the wrong note. We do, even while wobbly. We speak, even while stuttering.

It seems to be a two-way street. Because even while Fifi catches one of her first trout, her daddy holds the slippery, shimmying fish still in his practiced hands. We must not do life alone. What can we hold firm in our hands for those we love? Is it time? Words of love? Is it courage? Is it bringing peace? What can you hold for another, who can you get your hands dirty for while they stand with you in partnership? We are all practicing.

And of all the things I practice, professionally, personally, relationally, I am finding that I want to practice one thing most. The Apostle Paul (in 1 Corinthians chapter 13) tells us that love is like this:

Patient and kind.

Not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.

Not irritable.

Keeps no record of being wronged.

Doesn’t rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Never gives up, never loses faith.

Always hopeful.

Endures through every circumstance.

And so I practice. We practice. And while sometimes the trout slips out of our hands and we get some dirt under our nails, with each try we become more loving. More courageous. More kind. More true.

Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty, don’t be afraid to get it wrong. Let there be a shocking and delightful return on our investment.

Love,

kate

#goals

Summer is all about goals. Not the ones that make us feel anxious because we know they’re unattainable (New Year’s, I’m talking to you!) but the revised kind, the kind that bring joy, which happens to be the kind we don’t usually advertise or say much about. Last night I realized I had totally hit one of my three summer goals, when while washing dishes my husband actually gasped when he saw the backs of my legs. I am shockingly tan right now, so much so that he said he’s never seen me this tan, at which I fist pumped punctuating the achievement of goal #1, which was going to the beach as much as humanly possible. And if you’re worried about skin cancer and wrinkles, well, I’ve decided that since 100% of us die and none of us make it out of here alive, I’m going down with a tan.

My summer goals are good, y’all, and I’m not ashamed of it.

Listen, in order to survive this crazy world, we positively must schedule in the good stuff. Even loosey-goosey, blasé, laid-back, hippie types like me can join in the goal game! This past year was crammed full of traveling and speaking, writing, promoting, mothering, wifing, and everything in between. Sometimes I felt like I was on the hamster wheel I’m always preaching against. So when my summer schedule died down significantly, I realized I was in danger of wasting these delicious months and finding myself at the end of it wondering where the time went and why I’m so cranky.

So I spoke some goals. Out loud, to no one in particular but I heard them. Good goals that would bring peace, fun, rest and rejuvenation, a chance to expand my brain and take a break from teaching and writing. (The others are to read as many books as possible and purge and organize my house). We have to catch the wind of whatever ocean we are sailing, and go where it takes us, the good and beautiful and wild places we find when we embrace the present. Whether we are in summer school, sweating out our last month of pregnancy, working hard or hardly working, there is a time for everything and I believe that God makes everything beautiful for it's time.

But before we run like mad after our goals, we would do well to revisit what we really want out of life, not what we think we want. Maybe some of us want success, a certain number on the scale, or 2.5 kids. Maybe some of us are running after more—more money, more status, more influence. Maybe others of us are running after achievement, recognition, and the affirmation that comes with it. None of these things are bad in and of themselves, and nearly all are things I have run after at some point in my life. And yet. What’s behind it all? What really matters? Break it down and it might look a little different. And after a bit of thinking and a bit of praying, call me crazy, but this is what I want: Love. Peace. Presence. Wisdom. Vibrancy. Depth. Beauty. Fun. Fun. Fun. Wellness. Purpose. Vision.

Sometimes I think the goals we are running after can misalign with the ones we actually want deep down. So I’m asking you, as a friend, sister, one who is created in the image of God, what are your goals in this season? The one today, right now, whether boring or messy or beautiful or tedious? Are your goals on hold for when you finally get that promotion or boyfriend or baby or house? What is holding you back from experiencing peace and loving your people, right now? What is keeping you from diving into the growing pains of today?

Don’t wait until tomorrow for when things finally get good.

As we stare down the last month of summer, think about what brings you life. Because tomorrow will come, then autumn, winter, spring, and so on. Our careers will fluctuate, friendships will ebb and flow, our babies will grow and addresses change. Speak good goals into today, my friend. Schedule in the good stuff so you can be strong in whatever life brings your way.

Love,

kate

Free Stuff and Two Fun Podcasts

Yes, that’s me, the orange-hued person looking off in the distance like I have an inside joke with myself. Somehow, that picture looks normal until it’s in a lineup of normal people! I’m on this cute little graphic with a few friends of mine who I adore, and who also happen to be podcasters. Recently we got together and came up with something super fun—a couple of episodes where we talk about being intentional in summertime with your time, family, your life. We don’t want these glorious months to slip by without enjoying every second, whether we are dreading the lack of structure, figuring out what to do with our kids, or how we are going to not just survive, but slay summer like bosses.

Even more fun, is the fact that we are giving away $600 to Target and some fave items that we love for summer! Since you’re my people, and since nobody hates free stuff, I wanted to give you a chance to win. Click here to enter.

Give the first episode a listen here and get inspired. I hope you win the giveaway since I’m partial to you!

xo

kate